Cults and the Culting of America

In this episode of Cults and the Culting of America, Beatrice Weber shares her profound journey growing up in the Hasidic community, detailing the strict beliefs and practices that shaped her life. She discusses the impact of historical trauma on her community, the role of women, and her experiences with arranged marriage. Beatrice reflects on her decision to leave the community after years of confusion and struggle, and she now focuses on education reform for Jewish children. Her story is one of resilience, courage, and the ongoing quest for personal freedom and identity. Daniella's Links: You can read all about my story in my book, Uncultured-- buy signed copies here. https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured For more info on me: Patreon: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding Cult book Clubs (Advanced AND Memoirs) Annual Membership: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding Get an autographed copy of my book, Uncultured: https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured Get my book, Uncultured, from Bookshop.org: https://bit.ly/4g1Ufw8 Daniella’s Tiktok: https://bit.ly/3V6GK6k / KnittingCultLady Instagram:  https://bit.ly/4ePAOFK / daniellamyoung_  Unamerican video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/YTVideoBook Secret Practice video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/3ZswGY8 Scot's Links Connect with Scot Loyd's social media  (TikTok) Other Podcasts Daniella's other podcast: Hey White Women Takeaways Beatrice grew up in a high control group within the Hasidic community. Understanding cult dynamics helped Beatrice process her experiences. The Hasidic community has strict rules around gender roles and education. Historical trauma from the Holocaust influences the community's isolationist mindset. Women in the Hasidic community often feel like property in arranged marriages. Beatrice's marriage was abusive, leading her to seek therapy and support. Leaving the community was a complex decision, influenced by her children's well-being. Beatrice is now involved in education reform for Hasidic children. She emphasizes the importance of choice and individuality in her new life. Beatrice maintains a connection to her cultural roots while rejecting fundamentalism. Chapters 00:00 Introduction to the Podcast and Guest 06:19 Understanding High Control Groups 15:59 Education and Control in the Hasidic Community 25:06 The First Night and Wedding Rituals 31:09 The Impact of Ceremonial Control 36:26 Navigating Marriage and Sexuality in Isolation 41:55 The Journey to Leaving an Abusive Marriage 47:23 Life After Leaving: Finding Purpose and Healing 55:05 Reconnecting with Faith and Spirituality Produced by Haley Phillips      

In this conversation, Dr. Kerry McAvoy discusses her experiences with narcissistic abuse, the psychological implications of narcissism, and the societal impact of charismatic leaders. The discussion delves into the dynamics of cult-like behavior in politics, the challenges of cognitive dissonance, and the importance of personal identity and healing from toxic relationships. Dr. McAvoy shares insights on the spectrum of narcissism, the significance of vulnerability, and offers resources for those seeking to recover from abusive situations. Daniella Mestyanek Young's book:  From Bookshop.org Uncultured Autograph:  Connect with Daniella on social media  TikTok, Patreon, Instagram  Youtube Connect with Scot Loyd's social media  (TikTok) Daniella's other podcast: Hey White Women Takeaways Narcissism can manifest in various forms, including in political leadership. Cognitive dissonance plays a significant role in justifying unhealthy relationships. Healing from toxic relationships requires self-discovery and understanding personal identity. Vulnerability is essential for authentic connections and relationships. Cults often exploit human desires for belonging and acceptance. The importance of setting boundaries in relationships cannot be overstated. Self-reflection is crucial in recognizing narcissistic traits within oneself. Healing is a process that involves learning to express emotions and needs. Understanding the dynamics of narcissism can help in recognizing abusive patterns. Resources such as podcasts and workbooks can aid in recovery from narcissistic abuse. Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Context of the Conversation 06:13 Personal Experiences with Narcissism 17:00 Cognitive Dissonance and Justification 23:06 Narcissism as a Spectrum 29:14 Transactional Relationships and Echoism 36:49 The Illusion of Uniqueness in Cults 45:31 Overcoming Emotional Numbness and Building Boundaries 51:16 Learning to Coexist: Embracing Differences 56:16 Resources for Healing and Recovery Produced by: Haley Phillips  

Summary In this conversation, the hosts and guest explore the dynamics of cults, particularly focusing on Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and its 12-step program. They discuss the coercive nature of these programs, the sacred status of AA, and the psychological impacts on individuals involved. The conversation highlights the importance of recognizing the tactics used by cults, the role of shame and judgment, and the need for personal responsibility and accountability. The emotional toll of leaving such programs and the significance of language in shaping identity and recovery are also examined. In this conversation, the speakers delve into the complexities of recovery from addiction, discussing the various systems in place, including Alcoholics Anonymous and Christian recovery houses. They explore the intentions behind these systems, the potential for abuse, and the importance of understanding one's options. The discussion emphasizes the need for empowerment and autonomy in recovery, highlighting alternative methods and the significance of informed choices. Daniella Mestyanek Young's book:  From Bookshop.org Uncultured Autograph:  Connect with Daniella on social media  TikTok, Patreon, Instagram  Youtube Connect with Scot Loyd's social media  (TikTok) Daniella's other podcast: Hey White Women McCauley Sexton is a consultant and creator of proprietary alternative recovery programs and manualized content for institutions and non profits, with over a decade of lived experience. As the co-host of the recovery reform podcast with Dr.Nichols he addresses the stigma and indoctrination within the recovery community and our culture as a whole.    Website www.sextonspace.com    Social media @sextonspace    Email McCauley@sextonspace.com

Summary In this episode, Scot Loyd, Daniella Mestyneck Young, and Ali Henney discuss the intersections of cult dynamics, white supremacy, and the silencing of women, particularly black women. They explore personal experiences within cults, the impact of group behavior, and the role of narcissism in community spaces. The conversation also delves into the concept of misogynoir and the unique challenges faced by black women in various contexts. The importance of using one's voice to advocate for justice and the complexities of identity and intersectionality are emphasized throughout the discussion. Takeaways Ali's book 'I Won't Shut Up' explores personal experiences and broader themes of racism. Cults often silence women and weaponize secrecy. White supremacy operates similarly to cult dynamics. Group behavior can be amplified in cult settings. Narcissists often infiltrate communities seeking vulnerable individuals. Religious groups can be breeding grounds for manipulative behavior. Misogynoir uniquely affects black women in various spaces. The 'skinny white woman' trope serves as a gatekeeper in many contexts. Understanding intersectionality is crucial for advocacy. Using one's voice is essential in combating injustice.   Daniella Mestyanek Young's book:  From Bookshop.org Uncultured Autograph:  Connect with Daniella on social media  TikTok, Patreon, Instagram  Youtube Connect with Scot Loyd's social media  (TikTok) Daniella's other podcast: Hey White Women

Summary In this conversation, Scott Loyd and Daniella engage with Haley Griffith, who shares her transformative journey from supporting Donald Trump to embracing liberal values. The discussion delves into the psychological aspects of political allegiance, the complexities surrounding issues like abortion, and the dynamics of cult-like behavior in political movements. Haley reflects on her experiences, the influence of friendships, and the gradual realization of the need for nuanced perspectives in political discourse. In this conversation, the speakers discuss the complexities of voting, particularly in relation to marginalized communities and the binary nature of American politics. They explore the importance of humanizing those with differing political views, reflecting on events like January 6th and the need for compassion in political discourse. The discussion also touches on the potential for change in Texas and the cult-like dynamics of the two-party system, emphasizing the need for a pluralistic society that respects diverse beliefs. Daniella Mestyanek Young's book:  From Bookshop.org Uncultured Autograph:  Connect with Daniella on social media  TikTok, Patreon, Instagram  Youtube Connect with Scot Loyd's social media  (TikTok) Daniella's other podcast: Hey White Women  

Summary In this conversation, Scot Loyd and Daniella (KnittingCultLady) delve into the complexities of group dynamics, particularly focusing on the duality of groups as both beneficial and potentially harmful. They explore the societal fascination with cults, the nuances of labeling groups as 'good' or 'bad', and the inherent human need for belonging. Daniella shares insights from her experiences and research, emphasizing the importance of questioning group structures and the potential for exploitation within them. The discussion culminates in a list of ten commandments for creating healthy, functional groups that prioritize individual well-being over blind allegiance. From Bookshop.org Uncultured Autograph:  Connect with Daniella on social media  TikTok, Patreon, Instagram  Youtube Connect with Scot Loyd's social media  (TikTok) Daniella's other podcast: Hey White Women  

Summary In this episode, Scott Loyd and Daniela Mestenec Young explore the complex dynamics of cult mentality, particularly focusing on the phrase 'the ends justify the means.' They discuss how this mentality manifests in various contexts, including military practices, religious cults, and societal norms. The conversation delves into the psychological manipulation involved in these systems, the dangers of binary thinking, and the importance of embracing uncertainty in life. Through personal anecdotes and broader cultural analysis, they highlight the need for critical thinking and the dangers of extremism.  

The conversation explores the concept of exit costs in cults, focusing on the United Pentecostal Church International and the Children of God. It discusses the high entrance costs, such as strict dress codes and behavioral expectations, and the financial costs of giving to the church. The conversation also delves into the psychological and emotional damage caused by cults, including the disengagement from skepticism and the fear of eternal damnation. The exit costs of leaving a cult are examined, including the loss of faith and the difficulty of rebuilding a new framework. The conversation concludes with a discussion on the lasting impacts of cults, such as social anxiety and the fear of judgment. In this conversation, Daniella and Scot discuss the mischaracterization of criticism and the all-or-nothing mentality within cults. They explore the concept of cognitive dissonance and how it plays into entrance and exit costs. They also examine the historical patterns of cults and the dangers of not deconstructing harmful ideologies. The conversation emphasizes the importance of deconstruction and the potential for finding joy and happiness on the other side.

Summary Lucas Moctezuma discusses his upcoming film 'Holy Water' which is inspired by cults and explores the concept of free will within a cult setting. The film is set in a jury room where the jury deliberates the guilt of a religious cult leader who incited a mass suicide. The jury debates whether the cult members had free will or if they were controlled and manipulated by the cult leader. The film also delves into the psychological perils faced by cult survivors and the concept of doctrine over person. Lucas shares that the film is influenced by his mother's experience in a religious community in the 1970s. The conversation explores the challenges of depicting cults in film and the balance between sensationalism and authenticity. They discuss the importance of finding a balance that resonates with both regular audiences and actual cult survivors. They also touch on the difficulty of helping someone leave a cult and the need for compassion and understanding. The conversation concludes with a discussion about the filmmaker's GoFundMe campaign to support the production of the movie.  

Summary The conversation explores the exploitation of labor in cults and its impact on individuals. It delves into the reasons why labor is at the center of cults, including the pursuit of power, financial gain, and the whitewashing of cult activities. The discussion also highlights the role of labor in high control religious groups and the manipulation of children to represent the group's ideals. The conversation expands to include the exploitation of labor in corporations and the systemic nature of labor exploitation in the United States. It concludes by examining the long-lasting effects of labor exploitation on individuals' mental and physical health. In this conversation, Daniella and Scot discuss the exploitation of labor and the pressure to constantly work. They explore how cults and other high-control groups use labor as a means of control and how this mindset is perpetuated in society. They also touch on the importance of self-care and the need to break free from the transactional nature of relationships. The conversation highlights the negative consequences of constant labor and the importance of setting healthy boundaries.   Daniella Mestyanek Young's book:  From Bookshop.org Uncultured Autograph:  Connect with Daniella on social media  TikTok, Patreon, Instagram  Youtube Connect with Scot Loyd's social media  (TikTok) Daniella's other podcast: Hey White Women   Takeaways Cults often exploit labor as a means of gaining power and financial resources. Children are particularly vulnerable to labor exploitation in cults and high control religious groups. Labor exploitation is not limited to religious organizations and can also occur in corporations. The systemic exploitation of labor has long-lasting effects on individuals' mental and physical health. Cults and high-control groups use labor as a means of control and exploitation. Society perpetuates the idea that constant work and productivity are necessary for success. Self-care and setting healthy boundaries are essential for mental and emotional well-being. The transactional nature of relationships can lead to disappointment and dissatisfaction. The pressure to constantly work and achieve can result in burnout and negative health consequences.  

Summary In this conversation, Daniella and Scot discuss various topics including Daniella's recent trip to Portugal, the us versus them mentality, and the experience of visiting a nude beach. They explore the influence of group norms and how they shape our behavior and perceptions. They also touch on the binary thinking prevalent in American culture and the need for more nuance. The conversation highlights the importance of representation and diversity in leadership roles and challenges the traditional gender roles and expectations. The conversation explores the themes of us versus them mentality, appearance control, and the use of familial language in high control groups. It delves into the experiences of women in the military and the challenges they face in fitting in and being accepted. The conversation also touches on the topic of trans identity and the misconception that it is a cult. The importance of understanding and respecting individual identities and experiences is emphasized. The conversation concludes with a discussion on the dangers of us versus them mentality and the need for open-mindedness and acceptance. Daniella Mestyanek Young's book: ·       From Bookshop.org Uncultured Autograph:  Connect with Daniella on social media TikTok, Patreon, Instagram  Youtube Connect with Scot Loyd's social media  (TikTok) Daniella's other podcast: Hey White Women  

Summary In this conversation, Daniella and Scot discuss the use of specialized language or vernacular in cults and high control groups. They explore how cults develop their own language to create a sense of belonging and isolation from the outside world. They also discuss the impact of language on communication and the difficulty of finding community after leaving a cult. The conversation highlights the manipulation of language by cult leaders to disguise abuse and control. They emphasize the importance of critically evaluating loaded language and cliches to uncover their true meaning. In this conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young and Scot Loyd discuss the use of cliches and loaded language in cults and other contexts. They explore how cliches are used to shut down critical thinking and manipulate individuals. They also discuss the conflation of ideas and the use of binary thinking to control and dismiss dissenting voices. The conversation touches on the concept of conspirituality and the influence of language in advertising and politics. They provide guidance on becoming more aware of manipulative language and the importance of exposing oneself to diverse viewpoints. Daniella Mestyanek Young's book: ·       From Bookshop.org Uncultured Autograph:  Connect with Daniella on social media TikTok, Patreon, Instagram  Youtube Connect with Scot Loyd's social media  (TikTok) Daniella's other podcast: Hey White Women Takeaways Cults develop their own language to create a sense of belonging and isolation from the outside world. Language is used by cult leaders to manipulate and control their followers. Leaving a cult can result in a loss of community due to the specialized language and shared experiences. It is important to critically evaluate loaded language and cliches to uncover their true meaning. Language can be a powerful tool for communication and understanding, but it can also be used to deceive and manipulate. Cliches are used in cults and other contexts to shut down critical thinking and manipulate individuals. Binary thinking and the conflation of ideas are used to control and dismiss dissenting voices. Conspirituality refers to the use of language in health, wellness, and spirituality communities to manipulate and control individuals. It is important to be critical of the language and messages directed towards us, including in advertising and politics. Exposing oneself to diverse viewpoints and avoiding isolation can help guard against manipulation. Watch out for dehumanizing language and us versus them mentality, as these are tactics used by cults to create a sense of superiority and wage wars.  

In this episode of *Cults and the Culting of America*, hosts Scot Loyd and Daniella Mestyanek Young delve into the complex dynamics of self-sacrifice within cults and high-control groups. Drawing from their personal experiences and extensive research, they explore how cults exploit their members’ labor under the guise of a transcendent mission, enforce conformity through appearance and attitude control, and manipulate emotions to maintain control. The conversation also touches on the parallels between cult behavior and practices in organizations like the military and corporate America, offering insights into the pervasive influence of cult-like tactics in various aspects of society.   The episode explores key themes such as cults, high-control groups, and the concept of self-sacrifice, delving into how these groups exploit their members' labor under the guise of a transcendent mission. The discussion also touches on the idea of total institutions, where conformity is enforced through appearance and attitude control, and emotional manipulation is used to maintain control over members. By examining parallels between cult behavior and practices in organizations like the military and corporate culture, the hosts highlight the pervasive influence of these tactics in suppressing individual identity and enforcing group dynamics. Topics like cognitive dissonance, patriotism, social control, and the manipulation tactics used by cults are also discussed, providing a comprehensive understanding of the psychological and social mechanisms at play within these environments. Daniella Mestyanek Young's book: ·       From Bookshop.org Uncultured Autograph:  Connect with Daniella on social media TikTok, Patreon, Instagram  Youtube Connect with Scot Loyd's social media  (TikTok) Daniella's other podcast: Hey White Women **Scot Loyd:** Welcome to the *Cults and the Culting of America* podcast. I'm Scott Loyd along with my friend Daniella Mestyanek Young, and she's written a book called *Uncultured,* which you should pick up. Both of us are cult survivors, and we're working through a list of characteristics that Daniella developed to help all of you, along with us, process and understand our cult experiences, as well as identify cults and high-control groups. So with that introduction, Daniella, which characteristic are we talking about today? **Daniella Mestyanek Young:** Thanks so much for the introduction, Scott. Today, we are going to be talking about self-sacrifice. Specifically, in cults, there's the constant and continual self-sacrifice of the members. If you're just joining us, episode one has the whole list of my 10 characteristics that make up a cult, and we're going through each of those in detail. Self-sacrifice is number four on the list, but it connects very directly to number eight on the list, which is exploitation of labor. **Scot Loyd:** And you've mentioned before that this is ultimately what cults are all about—free labor, right? **Daniella Mestyanek Young:** Exactly. When I heard cult scholar Dr. Janja Lalich say, "Cults are about labor," it broke my brain and gave me a whole different understanding of what I had experienced and why we were doing the things we did. Labor is your one inexhaustible resource. The cult leader is out for power, but the cult itself is about getting your labor. They tell you it’s in pursuit of a transcendent mission, which we covered in episode three. In the Children of God cult, our mission was saving the world for Jesus before the end times. In the US Army, it was protecting American interests overseas. These missions are so grand and unquestionably good that they allow the cult and its leaders to constantly pull sacrifice from their members. **Scot Loyd:** You sent me something to read today, and you mentioned a term—quoting Irving Goffman—called a "total institution." I think when we're talking about cults, they certainly qualify as total institutions that seek self-sacrifice to meet their needs and aims through free labor. **Daniella Mestyanek Young:** Yes, exactly. I was trying to figure out this category for like 10 years. In the Army, when we weren't deployed or away for training, we worked a 6 AM to 6 PM schedule and went home every day. It wasn't that culty. But as soon as we went away together, it became culty. I didn't know how to explain it until I heard of total institutions. Total institutions are places where situated people live and work together, separated from the world, with a formal overlay of life. The military barracks or deployments are textbook examples of total institutions. Other examples include prisons, mental hospitals, hospices, communes, or even a rich person's household like Downton Abbey, which I argue makes the royal family a total institution too. When you're in a total institution, your job is to put the group first, to tamp down your own identity. That’s the cult experience. Growing up in it impacts your very personality formation, to the point that I was 33 years old when I realized I never got to form a personal identity. That’s the trade-off of growing up in a world where you're always second. **Scot Loyd:** I remember growing up in the United Pentecostal Church and going to summer camp, where we were isolated from everyone. Total institutions require people to suppress their unique traits or identity. Being tired and exhausted makes people highly susceptible to emotional manipulation. That’s exactly what we experienced at these summer youth camps. **Daniella Mestyanek Young:** That’s a perfect example of a total institution that you can participate in without committing your whole life. For the months you're at summer camp, it's very similar to when a military unit deploys for a year. Even in corporations, when you go off together for a weekend or a week at a yearly offsite, it’s more of a culty experience than regular work. The removal from the world is a significant part of it. Group norms become much more important and rigid when there’s no connection to the outside world. **Scot Loyd:** That became very apparent at youth camp. Even if you weren’t familiar with the group’s behavior, a few hours at the camp, and you’d be acclimated to the group culture. You wrote something profound about how conformity is rewarded, and any kind of independent thought is punished. Whether it's in the Children of God, the United Pentecostal Church, or even the US Army, you quickly learn to acclimate, conform, and fit in to avoid standing out. **Daniella Mestyanek Young:** Exactly, not standing out is crucial. This is how they start getting you to self-sacrifice. It’s not just a side effect of cults and their mission; it's a primary part of breaking you down. The primary part of identity-breaking indoctrination is getting you into a state where you always put the group first without even thinking. In doing so, you're getting rid of everything that makes you, you. This is often achieved through powerful tools like appearance control and attitude control. **Scot Loyd:** Let’s talk more about that. A lot of attention is given to exit costs in cults, but you talk about entrance costs, which include the regulation of hair, body size, body coverage, and even underwear. These are high entrance costs that ensure group conformity. **Daniella Mestyanek Young:** Yes, it's like a total makeover. It's funny to me that people aren't more suspicious of this. When someone moves away, gets wrapped up in a group, and suddenly their whole look and way of talking changes, that’s a sign. The group enforces conformity because that’s how you get everyone doing the same thing. We often stereotype cults as having uniforms, and sometimes they do. Heaven's Gate famously wore the same thing. We think of white robes or the military uniform, which has pages of regulations. It’s all about looking like a six-foot-tall, blonde, blue-eyed American male soldier. The further away you are from that demographic, especially in appearance, the more you stand out. And standing out is the number one rule you don't want to break. With appearance control, we almost always see regulations around hair, body size, body coverage, and underwear. Starting with hair, think of the first day in the military—buzz cut. Only the men, though. So immediately, women stand out. It’s a moment where they’re showing you, "We own you." Hair is so crucial to coercive control. For most of us, we’ve never seen our own bald heads, so they’re exposing the only part of you that you haven’t even seen naked. I advise men to shave their own heads before joining the military to have that moment of ownership. Hair control is always about controlling attitude. In the Children of God, for example, you weren’t supposed to cut your hair because it was supposed to be a vessel of God’s love. It wasn’t about the hair; it was about how you were supposed to behave with the long biblical hair. **Scot Loyd:** In the United Pentecostal Church where I grew up, women were also required to wear their hair uncut, often in similar hairstyles. You talk about the emphasis on a bun in the military, a hairstyle that made it difficult for women to do their job, but was still embraced. It wasn’t really about appearance but about regulating behavior. Sermons often tied the submission of women to men to their uncut hair. So, you're right—it had very little to do with appearance and everything to do with controlling behavior. **Daniella Mestyanek Young:** Exactly. The cult always gives you a reason for these controls that aren’t about behavior. In the military, they say it’s for lice control. But shaving heads doesn’t get rid of lice, and I’ve never heard of gender-based lice that don’t infect women. Same with beards—they claim it’s for gas mask sealing, but then why do special forces guys have beards? It’s about appearance. And this extends into regular America through concepts like professionalism. In the Army, the parallel is "sta

### Summary of Cults and the Culting of America Podcast - Episode on Transcendent Mission In this episode of "Cults and the Culting of America," hosts Scot Loyd and Daniella Mestyanek Young delve into the concept of the transcendent mission within cults and high-control groups. They discuss how cult leaders use vague, life-and-death missions to manipulate and retain followers. These missions often promise fulfillment in an unprovable future, making followers feel unique and superior, thus willing to self-sacrifice and endure hardships. Daniella differentiates the transcendent mission from the sacred assumption, explaining that while the sacred assumption is an unspoken belief (e.g., the leader being the smartest or chosen one), the mission is what recruits and keeps people dedicated. The mission is rarely practical and constantly evolving, ensuring followers never feel they've fully achieved it. The hosts also touch on the importance of recognizing the signs of manipulative missions, such as their vagueness, constant change, and exclusivity. Daniella advises that it’s okay for individuals to focus on their own well-being and happiness instead of falling prey to manipulative missions.   Daniella Mestyanek Young's book:  ·       From Bookshop.org Uncultured Autograph:  Connect with Daniella on social media TikTok, Patreon, Instagram  Youtube Connect with Scot Loyd's social media  (TikTok) Daniella's other podcast: Hey White Women     **Hosts:** Daniella Mestyanek Young and Scot Loyd **Topic:** The Transcendent Mission in Cults and High-Control Groups **Overview:** In this episode, Daniella and Scot discuss the concept of the "transcendent mission" and how it is used by cult leaders and high-control groups to manipulate and control their followers. They delve into the differences between the transcendent mission and the sacred assumption, the tactics used to recruit and retain followers, and the personal experiences of both hosts in various high-control environments. **Key Points:** 1. **Introduction to the Transcendent Mission:**    - Cult leaders create a transcendent mission to recruit and retain followers by promising a higher purpose or goal that often cannot be proven or achieved in this lifetime.    - The mission is usually vague, large-scale, and tied to life and death, making it compelling and difficult to question. 2. **Difference Between Transcendent Mission and Sacred Assumption:**    - The sacred assumption is an underlying, often unspoken belief that followers must accept to remain in good standing.    - The transcendent mission is the outward goal or purpose that the group is supposedly working towards, often used as a recruitment tool. 3. **Manipulation Tactics:**    - Cult leaders use the transcendent mission to justify extreme actions and sacrifices from their followers.    - Examples include religious cults promising salvation or enlightenment, and organizations like the military or corporations using missions to motivate self-sacrifice and loyalty. 4. **Personal Experiences:**    - Daniella shares her experiences in the Children of God cult and the US Army, highlighting the similarities in how both groups used a transcendent mission to control members.    - Scot discusses his upbringing in the United Pentecostal Church and how the promise of witnessing the return of Jesus was used to motivate followers. 5. **Challenges of Deconstruction:**    - Leaving a high-control group often involves losing a sense of mission and purpose, which can be terrifying and disorienting.    - Both hosts emphasize the importance of finding a new, personal mission that prioritizes individual well-being and happiness. 6. **Misconceptions About Good and Bad Cults:**    - Daniella argues that there is no such thing as a "good cult" because the core mechanism of coercive control and self-sacrifice is inherently harmful.    - They discuss organizations like Alcoholics Anonymous, which may have cult-like elements despite their seemingly positive mission. 7. **Education and Awareness:**    - Educating people, especially youth, about the signs of coercive control and the tactics used by cult leaders is crucial.    - Recognizing the red flags, such as claims of unique knowledge or promises of easy solutions to complex problems, can help individuals avoid falling into high-control groups. **Conclusion:** Daniella and Scot encourage listeners to prioritize their own well-being and question any group or leader that demands extreme self-sacrifice or claims to have all the answers. They highlight the importance of education, critical thinking, and self-defined values in resisting manipulation and control. **Resources:** - Daniella's book *Uncultured* - Daniella's Patreon project *UnAmerican* - Follow Daniella and Scot on TikTok for more discussions on cults and high-control groups.      

In this episode of the Cults and the Culting of America podcast, hosts Scot Loyd and Daniella Mestyanek Young dive into the concept of the "sacred assumption," a core belief that underpins a cult's worldview. Daniella explains how cult leaders create and manipulate these worldviews to control their followers, emphasizing that these assumptions don't have to be religious but can revolve around power, status, or other ideals. The discussion touches on the similarities and differences between cults and religions, the manipulation tactics used by cult leaders, and the challenges of deconstructing these beliefs after leaving a cult. Daniella also shares personal anecdotes about her experiences with the Children of God cult and the US Army, highlighting the parallels between different high-control groups. Scot and Daniella discuss the ongoing process of deconstruction, the importance of questioning sacred assumptions, and the impact of privilege and societal constructs on our beliefs. They emphasize the need for skepticism and self-defined values, contrasting this with the often rigid and manipulative frameworks of cults. The episode concludes with a call to action for listeners to engage with Daniella's work, including her book Uncultured and her Patreon project UnAmerican.   Daniella Mestyanek Young's book:  ·       From Bookshop.org Uncultured Autograph:  Connect with Daniella on social media TikTok, Patreon, Instagram  Youtube Connect with Scot Loyd's social media  (TikTok) Daniella's other podcast: Hey White Women   **Cults and the Culting of America Podcast** Welcome to the Cults and the Culting of America podcast with scholar of cults, extreme groups, and extremely bad leadership, Daniella Mestyanek Young. I'm your host, Scot Loyd. Welcome to another episode of Cults and the Culting of America. I'm Scot Loyd, along with my friend Daniella Mestyanek Young. Not only is she my friend, but she is a scholar of cults, extreme groups, and extremely bad leadership. Daniella, how are you doing today?   **Daniella Mestyanek Young:**  I am doing great. I am excited for us to talk about the worldview shift into the transcendent mission and the most common question anyone gets asked about cults, which is: what is the difference between a cult and a religion?   **Scot Loyd:**  Very nicely said. I'm looking forward to this episode. And you're wearing an interesting shirt today. Tell us about that shirt, and if folks want to buy one for themselves or their friends and family, how can they do that?   **Daniella Mestyanek Young:**  Yes, you can find any of the shirts you see me wearing through the links below. I sell them through my social media channels. This shirt says, "The first rule of cults is you're never in a cult," which is the epigraph of my book, *Uncultured*. It's about growing up in the Children of God and joining the US Army. It's also a play on *Fight Club*, which a lot of people don't realize is kind of the cult movie. It really gets to the idea that nobody thinks they're in a cult. Cults are manipulative cons that target people, lie, deflect, and pull you into their worldview. As soon as you realize you're in a cult, you're on your way out. But many people think cults are extreme and rare, when in fact, they're incredibly common. A lot of my life's work is pointing out these parallels and helping people understand the groups and systems we're in.   **Scot Loyd:**  And we're going down the list of characteristics of a cult that you have identified and authored. Today we arrive at the idea of worldview, or as you call it, the sacred assumption. What do you mean by sacred assumption, and why is it a leading characteristic of a cult?   **Daniella Mestyanek Young:**  Oh my gosh, this one is so dramatic. I mean, literally, I was in bed and I sat up and just yelled out, "Hold nothing sacred." It was the answer to the question I'd been asked for 15 years: Why would anyone join a cult? How can people fall for such extremism? Growing up in the Children of God, which was a pedophile cult, it was perfectly understandable how it happened, but difficult to explain to outsiders. First, let me bring this back to that common question: what is the difference between a cult and a religion? This ties into worldview. People ask this all the time, and I say they're not even the same type of thing. A religion is an idea, a noun. A cult is a group. You need a group, even if it's just two people. One of the most pernicious stereotypes is that cults are religious. Every day I see people saying, "Nah, not a cult, because we're not religious." Part of why NXIVM fooled so many people is because it wasn't religious. Large group awareness training, like est or anything ending in "-ony," aren't religious but can still be cults. A cult doesn't give you a religion; it gives you a worldview. The leader spends decades forming this worldview, and to be a member, you must adopt it. It's not presented that way, but it becomes clear once you're in it. The entire worldview is upheld by the sacred assumption. In the Children of God, it was that this random white dude who failed at everything was the prophet of God. As long as you believe that, you can justify anything. The sacred assumption ties closely to the "ends justify the means" mentality and sometimes even precipitates an apocalyptic mindset.   **Scot Loyd:**  The sacred assumption doesn't necessarily have to be theological in nature. It could be anything related to life, like pursuing wealth, status, or power. That's what a lot of these groups offer – a world change, a fulfilling life, or a flourishing existence.   **Daniella Mestyanek Young:**  Right. In NXIVM, the sacred assumption was that Keith Raniere was the smartest man on earth. In the US Army, the sacred assumption is that the US flag is worth dying for. You must believe that to be successful in the Army. So, it doesn't have to be religious. It's a worldview. I've recently realized all cults and cult leaders promise "space travel," meaning ultimate enlightenment or achievement will be on another plane, another existence, another life, a different heavenly body – something that can't be proven. This keeps people from achieving enlightenment because if it were real, they'd leave. It's a crucial part of the con and makes it hard to crack people's brainwashing. As long as you choose to believe the sacred assumption, you can justify anything.   **Scot Loyd:**  When you talk about this sacred assumption or worldview, it reminds me of Aristotle's idea that to be persuasive, you need parts of your message that are familiar and parts that are novel. If it's all novelty, people are likely to reject it. But if there's something familiar at the core, it resonates with people. Cult leaders leverage these familiar sacred assumptions that people are already familiar with to control their thoughts and behavior.   **Daniella Mestyanek Young:**  Yes, and I think this is exactly what Taylor Swift means when she says, "You know how to ball, I know Aristotle." She's dropping lines because she knows how to pull emotional strings. Cult leaders know how to manipulate you by leveraging these familiar concepts. I don't agree with the stereotype that cult leaders start off good and then turn bad. Cult leaders don't trip and fall into coercive control. They've been figuring this out for a long time. For example, Jim Jones was studying how to manipulate people with preacher voice from a young age. He never cared about civil rights; it was just his way to stand out. This is why religion is often used – it's a pre-existing worldview with a giant body of literature and concepts that a cult leader can tweak and spin to fit their agenda. They use these frameworks to radicalize people. Religions have thought-stopping clichés built in, where at some point, logic ceases, and you go forward on faith. Nefarious leaders who have been honing their manipulative skills know how to use that.   **Scot Loyd:**  Right. And the thought-stopping cliché is, "God told me to do this." When someone plays that card, how do you come back from it? You don't. There's nothing you can say if they claim to have heard from God. Cult leaders play on these collective questions we all have about origin, destiny, meaning, morality, and purpose. They offer answers with certainty, enthusiasm, and passion. The human dynamic often makes us fall in line and not question these sacred assumptions.   **Daniella Mestyanek Young:**  Absolutely. And deconstruction tip, Scot, can you repeat that list? We need to make sure this is in the show notes.   **Scot Loyd:**  Sure. The list is origin (where did I come from?), destiny (where am I going?), meaning (what does it all mean?), morality (how do we treat one another?), and purpose (what should I do with my life?).   **Daniella Mestyanek Young:**  These are the huge questions you have to define for yourself when you leave a cult. You're rejecting a worldview. My three-part model of deconstruction is: first, wake up and physically and mentally leave the cult; second, spend about a decade understanding why you were in a cult and its impact on your personality and identity; and third, move forward with no models. It's overwhelming because you've lost your framework and have to answer these giant questions. This is why we're at risk of cult-hopping afterward, looking for another system with black-and-white rules. I fell into CrossFit and paleo for a while because I was looking for another system to live by.   **Scot Loyd:**  I've experienced that too. My deconstruction is still ongoing. I left the United Pentecostal Church in a slow fade. I went through stages of cult-hopping, embracing different theological perspectives, and coming to terms with the idea that I was exceptional. I had to realize that if I'm special, that's something I define for myself. Likely, I'm just like everyone else, trying to make it through life and determi