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DATE YOUR WIFE

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Co-hosts Garrett J White and Danielle K White share in this weekly podcast as a powerhouse husband and wife duo why date nights have become non-negotiable in their life. Garrett is the founder of Wake Up Warrior, a program for married businessmen to live the Warrior’s Way towards having a life of having it all, and Danielle is the founder of NBR hair extension techniques through DKW Styling Salon. They will share how they have created success in every aspect of their lives after being willing to rebuild and heal from disconnection, and it all starts with weekly date nights.
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*Episode Replay from September of 2019.* The White’s are back and on fire in this new episode of the Date Your Wife podcast. Inarguably one of their spicier therapy sessions yet, in addition to today’s theme of the Karmic Loop, Garrett & Danielle delve into the topics of parenting, fitness, dating, the art of seduction, sex, and have a candid conversation about the loop Garrett has been stuck in for the past two weeks.  Click here to watch this episode on YouTube Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…. Communication Point #1: The Hamster Wheel When artists inside of Danielle’s programs tell her they don’t have time to do the work required to make the changes they want to see inside of their business and life, she describes that as being on a hamster wheel. “You say you don’t have time and you’re extremely tired…but you’re not actually going anywhere, you’re literally just looping and looping. You can’t afford NOT to have time. When people say they don’t have enough time, it gives them an excuse not to try something new.” QUESTION Where in your world are you making excuses instead of making time?   Point #2: False Lift When you’re going along in life, and you suddenly get triggered about something, you begin to drift into a series of feelings of anger, blame, guilt, and shame, aka the Pit. Once inside the Pit, you want to fix things, but you’re not sure how. You begin thinking, “If only I could go back to how things were before.” As you fall and drift down from the peak to the Pit, you find yourself inside a false lift that takes you back to the peak where you were before…but no change has actually taken place, and nothing is ever fixed. QUESTION What area of your life do you continuously have the same arguments over and over and over again? How is that working for you? Point #3: Collision The only way to change this is to identify that you’re in the loop. If you find yourself repeating the same arguments over and over again, arguing about the same shit, in the same way, that’s a telltale sign you are stuck inside the Karmic Loop or on the never-ending Hamster Wheel. Once you identify that you’re in the loop, you’ve got to collide. The first collision is with yourself, and the second collision is with your spouse. It’s about taking responsibility for where you are. QUESTION Inside your relationship, what are you afraid to have a conversation about with your spouse?   Point #4: Shut Down Garrett is experiencing a loop where he has shut down sexually. He has the drive and yet lacks the hunt for Danielle. “I will sit and wait for Danielle to jump on me, which she literally does.” Garrett feels he created a pattern after years of rejection and trained himself not to go on the hunt. “I don’t do the weird thing, I don’t go pouty, I just do nothing. It’s shut off.” QUESTION Identify a loop you currently find yourself in. What is the first step you can take to begin changing that?   Point #5: The Stack Using the Warrior tool called the Stack, Garrett takes himself through a series of questions and answers about this loop he currently finds himself in with regards to shutting himself down sexually, even though it is very clear Danielle is “open for business.” During the process of asking himself what it is that he wants, he reveals, “I want Garrett to become a sexual hunter again in his marriage like he was in the first year of his marriage. I want Garrett to break the chains of sexual dysfunction in the game he is playing.” QUESTION How willing are you to dive deep into questions of self-inquiry? Communication Challenge: Identify one area in your relationship where you have the same argument in the same way over and over and over. Using the art of collision, begin taking steps to move forward. Date Night Topic:  Talk about things you like your spouse to do that turn you on. Quote of the Week:  “If you don’t have a relationship with your spouse, and all your energy is poured into your kids, it’s gotta be a pretty depressing day when your kids leave.” —Garrett J White  “I have to walk by damn near naked and be like, “We’re open for business!” —Danielle K White      warriorgreens.com dkwstyling.com
*This is a previously aired episode from April 2018. Today’s conversation with Garrett and Danielle is about the topic of Money and the important role it plays in your relationship.  Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….MONEY Point #1: Men Must Produce When you make enough money to put your family into abundance, there’s a shift in the way that you see yourself as a man and a shift in the way you see your relationship. It also affects the way your wife sees you. Danielle: Generally, women want men to take care of them. Even if we can produce, we still want our man to ‘be the man’ and take care of us. A man is sexier to a woman when he’s the one producing. QUESTION How does this ring true for you as a couple?   Point #2: Money is a Tool Garrett: Inside of our relationships, money sits at the core. We have friends who celebrate their success and use money as a tool to inspire other people to create more, and then we have other friends who simply hide it all and pretend like they’re broke. Danielle: There was a five year period where we were experiencing rapid growth, and we disconnected ourselves from people. I had surface relationships and felt like I was kind of guarding myself. What I’ve come to realize now is that I can have relationships with everyone – it’s just a matter of me being comfortable with me. QUESTION Are you living in a scarcity or abundant mindset while being surrounded by your wealth? Point #3: You Must Leap Garrett: In 2009, after I had lost everything, I was offered a job from a friend at a very crucial time for me when I didn’t have a lot of belief in myself. I was terrified as a husband and as a producer and had lost all confidence in myself. There came a pivotal moment when I realized my life was in the balance, and something in my soul said, “You must fucking leap!” Danielle: When we were dating, I saw Garrett for who he was and who he could become. I knew there were great things in store for him. So when I saw him selling out, I was so upset because I knew that he was capable of doing and becoming so much more. QUESTION Where in your life have you settled?   Point #4: Don’t Settle Garrett: One of the greatest gifts my wife has given to me about money is that she rode my ass about it. As you get better and better at making money as a man inside of marriage, it forces you to become a new man. Danielle: I think that people play it safe in life in fear of failure. If I leap and I fall on my face, then there are consequences; but if I stay in the safe zone, then I can ride this out forever. If you’re listening to this and you’re feeling a stab in the heart to take action in your life, do it. QUESTION Where in your life are you feeling the call to take a leap of faith? Point #5: Team Work   Garrett: There are a lot of you here who need to rise. Danielle and I work as a team to push each other. There are times she wants to settle into her little comfortable cocoon, and then I kick her straight out of the cocoon, I rip it open and throw her off the cliff. And she does the same for me. Danielle: You can produce way more as a couple if you can get on the same page of experiencing more growth together. If you can take those experiences of who you are as a couple and make them work, two is better than one, at least in my experience for us. We push each other in that way. QUESTION What is your dance as a couple in the way you support each other’s growth? Communication Challenge: Have a conversation as a couple, and allow yourself to collide and dream. Sit down and set a target of a game that you could create together. Who can you become as a couple economically? Who can you become as a producer individually or collectively? What would it require for you to become to pull that off? Date Night Topic: Give yourself some credit for where you are. Challenge yourself on your Date-Night to have a conversation about possibility or collision. Either one of these paths will lead you to a new position and possibility inside of your life. Quote of the Week: “My money is a reflection of my ability to produce and create value in the marketplace. So I produce, and I create more not for the target of having money, but rather we are in this place of a desire to become more, and inside of that, we use money production as a way to accelerate that.” —Garrett J White “Be you at every level.” —Danielle K White  
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….PARENTING   Point #1: Cell Phone Game Changer Cell phones have changed the game for kids, forcing kids today to grow up much faster, and at the same time, they’re NOT growing up. They’ve gotten really good at being able to communicate via text, but they haven’t learned how to commutate face-to-face. Danielle recalls waiting for boys to call her when she was in Junior High. She was nervous and sweating, hoping she wouldn’t sound like a dork or stutter. Today, it’s a matter of text, erase, edit, and send. QUESTION How has communication changed since you were a teen? Point #2: Bed Time Shenanigans   The bed-time routine at the White household can sometimes look more like a shit show, with their seventh-grader going into psycho mode while Garrett takes away her cell phone. Unbeknownst to Garrett, who is in the middle of a yelling match in one room, Danielle is in another room consoling their seven-year-old who has a pillow over her ears saying, “I hate this part!” QUESTION What does your bedtime routine look like? Point #3: Old School Discipline   When their oldest daughter back-talks Danielle, Garrett wonders if her mother would have tolerated that behavior. As a seventh-grader, Danielle remembers being backhanded by her mother while they were driving. As an eighth-grader, Garrett found himself wandering the streets of their new city for four hours after his mom kicked him out of the van for fighting with his siblings. That was before cell phones. QUESTION How do your disciplining methods differ from those of your parents? Point #4: Jump Through the Windows Danielle: When kids are little, they operate on your agenda; when they turn into teenagers, you operate on their agenda – that’s your window “in.” In order to gain that connection, I’m constantly looking for my windows. Garrett: We have some traction in her world. The key is being present with what her issues are and what’s going on in her world. Perhaps we actually do know what we’re doing. QUESTION What can you do to be more aware of those little windows of opportunity to connect with your children? Point #5: Navigating the Parental Waters of Divorce   It was only a couple years ago that Garrett’s nineteen-year-old son wouldn’t talk to him. Today, he is an integral part of the Warrior landscape as he and Garrett forge a new relationship that has recently included bringing Garrett’s ex-wife and her family into the picture. A family intervention during the Warrior Woman event in the summer of 2018 proved not only healing but life-transforming. Garrett and his ex-wife were able to take radical responsibility, let go of stories, and come to a peaceful place, demonstrating that anything is possible. QUESTION How are you navigating the waters of parental divorce? Communication Challenge: Discuss the challenges cell phones have brought into your family. Date Night Topic: How can you better support each other in how you parent? Brainstorm different ideas and strategies and choose one or two to begin implementing. Quote of the Week: “The emotional fortitude of children isn’t what it used to be. Kids today are growing up intellectually very quickly, with great articulation and communication, but emotionally they’re going backward.” —Garrett J White “Because you are so mad and so bitter, and are not dealing with your own shit and your own stories, it is ultimately holding you back.” —Danielle K White
* This is an encore presentation of a previously aired episode from May 2018. Being married can be a complete shit show AND amazing… all at the same time! While most marriages end up in sedation, disconnection and/or divorce, Garrett and Danielle have committed to creating something a little bit better than that and a bit more fun. Join them in this week’s podcast that doubles as their very own therapy session as they engage in a conversation about the all-important topic of communication.   Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….COMMUNICATION Point #1: Less Roommate, More Spark You can be comfortable with somebody and respect them, and maybe you don’t fight, and things are generally good, but there’s no spark. Your idea of a night out is coming home from a long day at work, throwing on your sweats and watching Netflix together…and then you wonder what happened to that spark you used to feel. Date Night is one of the ways the sparks continue to fly between Danielle and Garrett. Danielle loves getting all dressed up for Date Night and treats it like an actual date like she did during their pre-marriage days. She inspired Garrett to level up his game from his go-to flannel shirt to his now custom-tailored design jackets. QUESTION When was the last time the two of you dressed up and stepped out on the town together? How did it make you feel? Point #2: Sugar & Spice Garrett: Inside the communication game, people sometimes think that it’s the spice they’re trying to get rid of. When I define spice, I’m talking about arguments, disagreements, giggling, laughing, joking, having fun, getting angry at each other, fighting, battling, debating, having crucial conversations – it’s everything! Danielle: There’s a lot of spice in our marriage, and we collide a lot with our personalities – both in good ways and in ways where we piss each other off. Spice, for me, is “I fucking hate you,” which turns into “I fucking love you.” QUESTION How do you keep your marriage fresh and spicy? Point #3: Love Notes Making daily deposits into your family’s life is part of living the Warrior’s Way, which is part of something called the CORE 4. Men typically don’t know how to communicate their feelings and don’t send love messages to their wives, which Garrett believes many women would love receiving from their husbands. While Danielle acknowledges the daily texts from Garrett, her love language is found more in spending quality time together with him, like doing these podcasts or going on Date Nights. She sends texts of encouragement when she senses he’s having a stressful day, which messages Garrett loves receiving as part of his love language. QUESTION What are your thoughts about giving or receiving love notes? Point #4: Give and Take Garrett: In my world, I had to learn that it was ok to buy my wife shit. It was a very hard thing for me, and I questioned how buying gifts for her made me more valuable as a husband. Danielle: Because I can buy my own things, I felt like I had to submit and let Garrett buy me gifts, which is one of my love languages. I wanted him to be the man, yet at first, I wasn’t allowing space for him to do that. QUESTION Why are you stopping your spouse from giving you what you say you want to receive from them? Point #5: Dance With Me Garrett: As you can tell, we’re still working on this, which is the ability actually to communicate with and understand the language of our partner. Inside of that, we get to choose to do two things: 1- appreciate the love language they receive in, and 2-learn to give the love language that the people we’re married to want to receive. QUESTION What does your daily dance of communication look like? Communication Challenge: Danielle: Garrett needs to be told, “I love you,” but my communication style is different. How about you? Is your communication style verbal or silent? What about your spouse’s? Do you think one is wrong and one is right? Date Night Topic: For women, what is your husband’s love language, and how can you cross the line a little bit for him? For men, how can you cross the line a little bit for your wife? Quote of the Week: “I’m essentially making love to the ocean because she accepts me every morning.” —Garrett J White “We’ll argue about a topic, and one of us has to reach over to the other side and reciprocate eventually. You have to cross the line in order to make it a little more peaceful in your home.” —Danielle K White
*Encore presentation from January 2018* Join co-hosts Danielle and Garrett J White with Week Two of the Date Your Wife Podcast, in which they share two VERY different views of how they were raised with money (or without) and how that has affected their relationship as a married couple.   In This Week’s Podcast….MONEY Point #1: Having Expensive Tastes In Which Money Matters Money causes a ton of chaos within marriage, which will make or break the relationship, forcing you to deal with your spouse on a whole new level. Danielle was raised by entrepreneurs that focused on having a home that was up to date and something to have pride in, while to Garrett having a lot of money was unattainable unless you were a doctor with a swimming pool in your backyard, like a kid he remembers from school. QUESTION What kind of background were you raised in that has effected the way in which you approach your outlook on money within marriage?   Point #2: The War of Spending Money Danielle spent money because she wanted to experience life, but for Garrett, money was about spending money on business, which he still struggles with, as they throw each other under the bus in how they spend money. According to Danielle is being a selective cheap bastard until her perspective of her role as a Stylist rather than a Hobbyist she was able to change. QUESTION If you could throw your spouse under the bus, what do you think they struggle with when it comes to spending money?   Point #3: ATMs and Porn Stars Garrett felt like the only way he had value was if he made money, and therefore when he makes money Danielle should put out for sex any time he wants. Women want to feel safe and secure, so it becomes hard to have sex with him when he’s no longer attractive as the Producer, and the man in the relationship doesn’t feel like he’s providing value to the relationship because of this role as well, in which his balls get cut off mentally. QUESTION What does being a Producer do to bring out the sexual dynamic within marriage?   Point #4: Learning from What Didn’t Work: The Cancun Contract With the Cancun Contract, it was 3 for 3: 3 Gifts for 3 sex sessions which led to feeling more like they were purchasing prostitution in an attempt to give their marriage a shot at what would work for them based off of their own love languages for 3 weeks, learning that using money as a manipulator didn’t work but ended to bigger breakthroughs later on. Garrett learned to invest because he wanted his wife to be happy, looking at money as a tool, not an asset by shifting his wife towards being the asset, showing that Danielle matters to him. QUESTION Where can you invest in your spouse with no strings attached, investing in experiences with your spouse and family? Where do you still need to give yourself permission to receive without guilt?   Point #5: I Want You To Want To Hold yourself to a higher standard in order to push your spouse to become more, believing in them more than they believe in themselves. At one point, Garrett made a huge realization that sometimes the man is the ATM, and you need to be OK with it because it shows that she is worth the investment. Danielle is a producer on her own, but she wanted him to want to be a man in seeing the value of investing in her. Now, they have both surrendered and invested in each other. QUESTION How can a woman powerfully support and invest emotionally in her husband to encourage him to become a bigger producer?   Date Night Topic: What improvements can be made in regards to the topic of money?   Quote of the Week: “I was raised to feel that you could get whatever you wanted in life if you are willing to work, but no one was going to save you. I didn’t know that I could want anything more than what I had. I learned that I needed to demonstrate in my marriage that my wife is worth spending money on and worth the investment.” —Garrett J White   “If you want to be treated like a Queen, you’ve got to treat your man like a King. Women need to own their part and let go of the guilt when your husband invests in you. Stop getting stuck in the stories that your man isn’t fulfilling you, and realize that you may not be fulfilling his needs. If he’s putting in effort, take the gifts he’s giving you and see how it feels to then harmonize in fulfilling his needs.” —Danielle White  
*Encore presentation from August 28, 2018.* Garrett and Dannielle discuss the importance of getting away as a couple in this week’s episode.   ____________________________________________________________________ Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….PARENTING Point #1: Reconnection Brings Rejuvenation Danielle:  I think it’s crucial to have time together to reconnect so that when you go back home to the kids, you are rejuvenated. When your relationship is on point, kids notice. They can pick up on the energy between you and your significant other. QUESTION How do you show each other that remembering your anniversary is important to you? Point #2: Mommy Guilt  Danielle: Mommy guilt happens to all the moms I talk to. Even though you’re excited to get away, and you end up having a great time, there’s always this weird anxiety leading up to the vacation. I feel that anxiety never really goes away unless you just push forward. You have to go on these trips and realize that your kids are going to be just fine. QUESTION How do you as a couple deal with two different visions of where to invest your money? Point #3: Hiring Help Garrett: Can you see how your entire world has been held hostage by the fact that the only people you will trust to watch your children are your parents? The entire game from a guy’s perspective comes down to you as a man creating space for your wife. One of the big hurdles you’re going to have to overcome is getting your wife to be okay with hiring help that is not free, and that is not part of the family. QUESTION How do you and your wife feel about hiring help other than your family” Point #4: Cashing In Chips Danielle: Free help is never free. I feel like there is this debt with the Universe with family. “I watched your kids, so now you have to watch mine.” “I brought you dinner, so you have to bring me dinner, too.” There’s always this unspoken feeling of cashing in of favors with family and close friends. There’s no such thing as free help when you go into it with the mindset of, “I will do this for you if you do this for me.” QUESTION How often do you use your parents and friends instead of hiring someone? Point #5: What’s Important to You? Garrett: Some guys say, ” I don’t have enough money to get a babysitter!” I say bullshit. You have enough money to put gas in your car, and you’ll have enough money to get what you believe is important to you. Space away from the kids creates perspective and power; perspective on your children, perspective on you as a couple, and perspective on your life. QUESTION What are your priorities? Communication Challenge: Have a conversation around the topic of Free Help vs Hired Help. Date Night Topic: Talk about the places you would like to go on your quarterly trips together, set the dates, and begin making plans for them. Quote of the Week: “When you move away from working in the family and in the relationship, and start to work on the relationship and on the family by taking trips and date nights away, you gain perspective. And that perspective is your power.” —Garrett J White “All you ladies out there, stop trying to be superwoman. It’s not serving you. Surrender to the fact that date nights are important and vacations are important, regardless of the anxiety you have surrounding your children. Guess what? You’re not the only one that can parent your children. —Danielle K White
*Encore episode from January 2019.* This week’s episode of the Date Your Wife podcast comes to you from beautiful Palm Beach, Florida, where the White’s are attending Tony Robbin’s Business Mastery Event. As they huddle in their bed trying to warm up from the ice-box temperatures they’ve been experiencing all day, they share stories about how Tony’s events have impacted and shifted their personal and business lives in major ways. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…MONEY Point #1: Hippies & Weird Shit Personal development hasn’t always been at the top of Danielle’s list of priorities. Up until a few short years ago, she equated it to a bunch of hippies sitting around hugging trees. “Garrett was actually into some weird shit at different times during our marriage. The few personal development events I DID attend with him left me feeling totally creeped out.” QUESTION What experiences have you had with personal development events? Point #2: Date With Destiny After viewing Tony Robbin’s “I Am Not Your Guru” on Netflix in December of 2016, Danielle began having a change of heart towards self-development. Tony’s approach actually made sense to her. “It seemed to be a more logical approach and less weird shit.” As fate would have it, Tony’s son was attending Warrior Week at about the same time. As if right on cue, the Universe delivered up two tickets to Tony’s next event, Date With Destiny, a mere three weeks away. QUESTION Have you or your spouse ever attended Date With Destiny? Point #3: How Big Can You Dream? Danielle’s experience at Date With Destiny changed her thinking in a lot of ways. One of the biggest impacts for her was the exercise where they were told to dream big and write down EVERYTHING they wanted. From this one exercise, Garrett and Danielle ended up making some major decisions in their marriage and businesses which resulted in some huge shifts for them that year. QUESTION Where in your world have you experienced a huge shift after hearing or experiencing something?   Point #4: Give Yourself Permission Garrett and Danielle had to leave their environment over and over again to get to a place where they could ultimately choose a life that was theirs as a couple and as a family. Garrett: Buying this house, investing in our family, and moving into this home literally shattered an entire box or frame of ideology that surrounded my brain. QUESTION Where in your world do you need to give yourself permission do to something that you know would yield big results or big shifts?   Point #5: It’s in the Numbers The biggest thing that Danielle is getting out of Business Mastery is confirming what she already suspected: she’s got to know her numbers better than she does. Event speaker Keith Cunningham taught,” As a business owner, there is no value in a number; the value is knowing what to do about the numbers that you see.” QUESTION What does it mean to you to not only know your numbers but to also know what to do about them? Communication Challenge: Grab your journals and carve out some time to Dream Big. Talk about and write down EVERYTHING you’d like to do within certain time frames, think way outside the box, and hold nothing back. Date Night Topic: Search out events you can attend this year TOGETHER for your individual growth AND for your growth as a couple. Choose one event and put it on your calendar. Make the leap. Your future is worth the investment. Quote of the Week: “The trifecta of insanity: choose to be married, choose to have kids, choose to have a business. You do those three things, and you’re either a glutton for punishment, a psychopath, or you want to have the fast train to big fucking results based on the power and the pressure of having to rise.” —Garrett J White “It was an “against all odds” situation because of the story we had been telling ourselves. But when we actually put our foot forward and started entertaining the idea, EVERYTHING started to fall into place for us.” —Danielle K White  
*Encore presentation from May 15, 2018* Welcome to this week’s steamy episode of the Date Your Wife podcast sponsored by DKW Styling and featuring dual producers inside the game of business, money, and life – Danielle K and Garrett J White – who are keeping it real and raw no matter what level of success they achieve. Although today’s topic is one of the tougher topics for many couples to get real about, the Whites break down all barriers and bares all in this week’s enlightening, revealing and transparent conversation about sex. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….SEX Point #1: Ass Cheeks ‘n Thongs Danielle: We were at Cabo, lots of sex, no kids, drinking gin, and this medium-looking girl walks by with her guy, she’s wearing a thong and has a tiny bum – even I noticed. It’s when your head followed and you kept following. Usually, you’re super respectful. But you kept prolonging that ass. Garrett: You caught me on that one. You do have control over how long you entertain, but you have zero control over the fact that if nine sets of ass cheeks are walking by you, and you’re sitting there with your wife whose ass cheeks you love, as a guy in that environment it is a work of art to try to NOT do two things: #1- look, #2- try to not be weird about it when you’re with your wife. QUESTION How do you feel about prolongued looks at the opposite sex by your partner? Point #2: Sexual Triggers Danielle: Being turned on by a guy is all about how he carries himself; it’s all about his energy and not about the idea of having sex with him. You might get butterflies and think, ‘oh he’s cute,’ but usually you never entertain it until later when it comes up and you wonder why you’re so horny. Garrett: As guys, we have a very different challenge because we are constantly being stimulated. You can be at church and a woman walks by wearing a shirt where her nipples are protruding and you can be a super committed loyal man to your wife, and nonetheless, you are sexually triggered. QUESTION What triggers you sexually? Point #3: Finding Your Inner Stripper For years, Garrett wanted Danielle to send him sexy photos of herself, but for a long time, she wasn’t about that. She eventually had a boudoir photoshoot that was not only for Garrett, but it also helped her find her inner stripper and channel more of her sexual being. “When I’m learning and growing in life, I’ll do things to get out of my comfort zone because it pisses me off that I’m operating in a certain way. Doing the pictures made me nervous but I decided to just do it. It gives you permission to roleplay and it spices things up a little bit.” QUESTION What is something you can do this week to step out of your comfort zone in your relationship? Point #4: Reflection in the Mirror Garrett: It’s very difficult for a guy to have his thoughts in check if he’s not getting laid. As a guy, you are naturally sexually charged and if you and your wife are not having sex for whatever reason – if physical intimacy is not happening – his sexual energy goes even higher, which is what leads a man to go porn and masturbation, which ultimately leads to a bigger problem. Ladies, if you shame and guilt your husband because he’s looking at porn, I’d invite you to look in the mirror at how you’re showing up. The majority of men are looking at porn because they are not getting their sexual and emotional needs met at home – the relationship sex game is horseshit and not working out. QUESTION Ladies, how are you showing up sexually for your husband? Point #5: Road to Nowhere With consistent porn consumption and masturbation, you will stop putting your sexual energy towards your wife. You deplete all of your sexual energy into the computer and into your cell phone, and through masturbation, you literally push your energy away into the nothing. There’s no exchange of energy. Garrett: “Looking at porn and masturbating is a hollow experience. When I would go through these times of looking at porn and masturbating because Danielle and I were not on the same page, I would feel bad, alone and isolated. Turning to porn made it worse because I would start feeling even more resentment towards Danielle.” QUESTION Gentlemen, where are you in the porn/masturbation cycle? How are your actions affecting your wife and your relationship? Communication Challenge: Ladies, how can you use sex as a tool and as a connecting piece to restore order in the relationship? Date Night Topic: Do a little role playing on your next Date Night to channel your inner stripper and add a little spice to the mix. Quote of the Week: “Guys, at the end of the day, keep all of that sexual energy in because it forces you to get committed to getting laid. This is what I have noticed for myself. If I keep all the sexual energy inside of me by not masturbating or looking at porn, then it forces me to focus all that energy on Danielle.” —Garrett J White “Take the time to connect. Even if you’re working a lot and don’t see each other often, your relationship can only be as good as you’re willing to work on it. If you’re willing to cross the line for each other and not let it get too far disconnected, you can always stay in a good space. It’s when you let it go too far that it takes that much longer to repair it and get back up. It’s always a work in progress.” —Danielle K White
*Encore presentation from May of 2019* The conversation about the game of money is this week’s topic of the Date Your Wife podcast, a topic which proves to be a spicy one for married co-hosts Garrett J and Danielle K White.  Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…MONEY Point #1: Saving & Investing As Danielle steps back and looks at their amazing businesses and lifestyle, she is curious if there is a way to start putting more money into other areas, like savings, in addition to life insurance. She wonders if she is ignoring signs from their past mistakes, knowing that their current lifestyle is more abundant than ever before. Garrett: My wife has pushed for our life to rise over and over again. At this point, we save more money than we’ve ever saved in our whole lives. I’ve also gone from only investing in the business to investing in the family. QUESTION How are you doing in the area of savings? How long would you be able to sustain your lifestyle if the money stopped coming in tomorrow? Point #2: Obsession The challenge inside of marriage when it comes to the topic of money is this: making money, growing money, keeping money, and leveraging money. Seventeen years ago, after reading the book, ‘Rich Dad, Poor Dad,’ Garrett realized for the first time that he could make money and became obsessed with it. He went back and forth between the hustle mode of making money and the phase of growing money as he built teams and processes, which led him to the game of keeping money. Over the past several years, he has invested and put strategies into place, which have benefited them in massive ways inside of their bank accounts and savings vaults. QUESTION Where are you as a couple when it comes to making & keeping money?   Point #3: Building a Legacy Danielle: We live an amazing lifestyle. I’m at the point where I want to be able to build a legacy, an empire. If we stopped working ten years from now, I want to know that we could still live our amazing lifestyle for years to come plus help our children if we needed to. My parents live well, but they can’t stop working. My dad is 69 and is still building custom homes because they have to continue working to maintain their lifestyle. I look at our parents and don’t want to live like either of them. QUESTION What do you ultimately desire?   Point #4: A Team Effort Danielle: Ladies, money is a tough conversation. Whether you’re a woman who can take care of herself, or you’re the Mom CEO of the family, it’s nice to have a guy that takes care of you. I also want to be a part of this team effort and part of the decisions. I don’t want to sit on the sidelines and be naive about what’s going on. QUESTION How do you handle money decisions in your relationship? Point #5: Maintain or Increase? Garrett to Danielle: Would you be willing to maintain our current lifestyle even though our businesses are increasing in revenue? We would maintain our current game, and everything else would go pure cash with no expense increase whatsoever in our personal lifestyle over the next five years. We would not change homes or cars, and we would keep the same game. We would put all the money away that you want to put away without having to up the standard, meaning… two bags, not nine. QUESTION What are you willing to do in order to be able to put money away? Communication Challenge: Have some conversations with your spouse about the game of money: making, growing, keeping, and leveraging money. Date Night Topic: If the money were to suddenly stop coming in, how long would you be able to live your current lifestyle without changing anything? Quote of the Week: “This podcast isn’t about having all the answers for you but rather a conversation where we’re in a place of figuring shit out as we go.” —Garrett J White “When I’m seventy years old, I want us to be working because we’re passionate about it, and we are choosing to – we have a purpose behind it – not to just pay the fucking bills.” —Danielle K White
Point #1: What is a Stack? A Stack is a series of questions with five variations (Mega, Angry, Happy, Gratitude, Production) that Garrett originally created three years ago to deal with “my fucking rage.” These questions alter the way you are experiencing different relationships, events, and triggers in your life. One of the challenges men have is the inability to express emotion and end up suppressing those emotions, which is the way society has taught, trained and educated men to do over the past 100 years. The whole point of the Stack is to allow you to release the energy that you’re feeling, whether you’re fucking raging, angry, triggered, or happy and get someone to their truth. QUESTION As a man, what has been your experience with sharing your emotions and feelings?   Point #2: Impact There are five different Stacks which serve different purposes. You’ve got the Mega and Angry Stack which allow you to release your rage & emotions, followed by the Happy and Gratitude Stacks, and then finally the Production or War Stack.. The Gratitude Stack requires you to deliberately pause and look back and serves as a powerful tool of connection with your spouse and children. As Garrett has shared these with his children as part of the Core 4 game, he has witnessed first-hand the immense impact it has had on them individually and upon their relationship. QUESTION How has expressing gratitude for your spouse and children affected your relationship with them?   Point #3:  The Gift of Gratitude Danielle shares how expressing gratitude gives you a different perspective.”There are going to be times in your life when you feel like you are in a dark place, and it’s hard to snap out of that. You start to see the world through a negative lens.” “If you take a step back and begin appreciating the good moments, it gives you this sense of gratitude, and everything begins to change. It puts life in a different perspective.” QUESTION What do you notice when you step back and begin seeing life through the lens of gratitude?   Point #4: INSPIRED From his Gratitude Stack about Danielle, Garrett received insights and revelations about their marriage, and how he feels about her: “Marital and mutual respect is something that takes a long time to uncover, and once it’s found, it’s priceless and profound.” “I sit and look at my wife while five months pregnant and am just inspired. I’m inspired by what it is to be pregnant and have your body do what it does with a little person inside of you who is growing. But of all the things that hits home the most is that she can make the baby AND also smash the shit out of life.” QUESTION What about your spouse inspires you?   Point #5: From Then to Now Garrett: What makes this pregnancy different from the others is that I am grateful for what we’ve become as a couple. In the past, I isolated myself and didn’t know how to deal with the whole pregnancy thing. Danielle: When you look back to how it was eight years ago with our last pregnancy during scary and uncertain times, things are so different this time. We know we’re in a good place right now with life and with marriage, and we’re excited about the next chapter. QUESTION As you step back and look where you’ve been compared to where you are now, what has changed? Communication Challenge: Discuss the art of collision and the ability to hold space for your spouse during intense & direct conversations. Date Night Topic: Make Gratitude the topic of your next Date Night. Share examples and stories of gratitude with each other. If you have access to the Gratitude Stack, do a Stack on each other and then share it during your date. Quote of the Week: “Gratitude is the ability to look back: here’s where we are, here’s where we were, and let’s be grateful for what is.” —Garrett J White “When you’re in a space of gratitude, nothing can get you down. Use it as a protective shield for yourself and your family, and to ultimately feel more powerful in life. When I’m in that space, I feel unstoppable.” —Danielle K White
  Every week married couple Danielle K and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…Communication Point #1: People Pleaser or Conflict Avoider? Danielle believes women typically aren’t people-pleasers, they’re conflict avoiders. Some women are so afraid of confrontation that they always try to make peace. “But ultimately it’s not because we’re trying to please people,” offers Danielle, “it’s because we’re trying to avoid conflict, which later on actually causes us more harm.” QUESTION How does this play out in your marriage?   Point #2: On the Hunt As Garrett reflects this topic of conflict, he realizes that “Danielle is a conflict avoider at the highest level. If you go through what has happened with us in the past seventeen years, she has NEVER been a conflict person.” “The only way we could ever have a real conversation was if I brought the collision to her, and then inside of it, I would actually hunt her down and force her to have a serious conversation with me.” QUESTION Who is typically the “hunter” inside your marriage? Point #3:  Hot-Headed When men become hot-headed inside of a conversation, many women refuse to continue on with that conversation, thus making it appear to the men that women are in this place of avoidance. From Danielle’s perspective, “Women recognize when a conversation or argument isn’t in a logical place and is going nowhere. When Garrett flips his lid, and I feel like I can’t reason with him because the conversation is not in a healthy place, I will refuse to continue, knowing that in this state, nothing is going to get solved. QUESTION Who is typically the hot-headed one in your relationship? How does this affect your communication? Point #4: Initiate or Avoid? Garrett admits being more emotional than Danielle, and one who desires to get into a fight and collide. Speaking to Danielle, “You were never an initiator of any type of hard conversation. Your mode was to just swallow it, ignore it, reframe it in your mind, let it go and move on…and pretend like it never happened.” Danielle: I was avoiding confrontation, and was thinking, “Oh, it will go away, it’ll quiet down. I also came to this place where I didn’t know how to have direct conversations with you. QUESTION Inside conflict within your marriage, who typically avoids, and who typically initiates?” Point #5: Therapy After six years of behaviors and patterns that were not serving the White’s, everything came to a head one afternoon during a huge argument in their kitchen where an ultimatum was issued by Garrett: either we’re going to therapy, or we’re done. Danielle: Going to therapy, we both had a logical sounding board to hear one another’s feelings. It helped me open up and communicate better, and I feel like Garrett was able to go deeper into the story or conflict without hitting his tipping point. QUESTION What has been your experience inside the conversation of therapy? Communication Challenge: Have a conversation around the topic of “Avoider or Initiator.” Date Night Topic: During Date Night, have a conversation about the possibility of inserting Therapy into your lives. Quote of the Week: “Therapy gave us a better chance to pull off conflict and be in a conversation that would require both of us to own our shit.” —Garrett J White “In relationships, I think we argue to be right, not to get what we want. I think we both realized that there’s submission in getting what we want which makes us less willing to be right and more willing to get what we want.” —Danielle K White
In this week’s episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, Danielle and Garrett explore their Dark side and share how embracing both the Dark and the Light has given them the freedom to find harmony inside of their relationship, within themselves, and with humanity. *Encore presentation from October 2018*   Every week, married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast… Point #1: Jekyll and Hyde Danielle: Everyone is raised to put themselves in a box. As you get comfortable with yourself, you own EVERY side of yourself, including the crazy, but you learn how to manifest the crazy in a productive way. Garrett: Most people cannot accept that there are literally two sides to them. I spent most of my life putting who I was, away – my desires, the anger, the rage, the fire, the questions, and the sexual desire. QUESTION What part of you are you hiding in a box? Point #2: Super Power Danielle: I can’t operate as Susan all of the time, so it’s literally learning how to cohesively live together with your multiple personalities. It’s learning how to be cool with yourself and tapping into this dark, crazy side of you, looking at it as your Superpower. For example, I gotta handle some shit in business, so Dark Susan’s coming out. When it’s time to be a wife and a lover, Danielle comes out. Garrett: Relationship is the ability for a person to be able to be ALL of themselves in that relationship. My mission for myself and for Danielle was to be able to figure out how to be ALL of ourselves. There’s Dark Susan sex, and there’s Danielle sex – totally different sex, both are amazing. As we become more adaptable to ourselves, I think our relationship blows up in a big, beautiful way. QUESTION How do you handle ALL of you? How do you use the different parts of you to your advantage? Point #3: Critical Bitch Garrett: Danielle has an aspect to her that I deeply love now but that I hated and loathed for most of our marriage, until the last four to five years. This side is what I considered to be Critical Bitch. Whatever was going on, there was always this chipping away, and for most of our relationship I thought, “Fucking crazy woman.” Anything to do with Danielle’s dark side was viewed as wrong, broken, over-thinking. What I had viewed as critical, all of a sudden became powerful. She had the ability to see things clearly amidst the chaos, and not be sucked in by emotion. QUESTION What have you previously viewed as wrong or broken in your spouse, but now view as powerful? Point #4: Embrace the Dark AND the Light Garrett: When you start accepting that this is true inside of you – the Diabolical AND the Divine – when you come to terms with and embrace and love both sides of you, you start to love and appreciate humanity and people around you at a level you never could before because you’re not fucking hiding anymore. Inside Wake Up Warrior and Big Money Stylist, we lead individuals on this path that accepts the true power of who you are on both extremes: in the Dark AND in the Light, in the Night AND in the Light, so they can ultimately gain the purest sight of being able to see truth. QUESTION What part of you are you suppressing and not embracing? Point #5: Submission vs Sedation Danielle:  How do I get to the end result I’m looking for in a particular situation? What are the steps required? It always requires submission at some level. Ultimately, I’m happier and get what I want. That overall feeling is better than retreating and closing down. Sedation can be a sneaky little bastard, and it can come in many forms. Garrett: Most couples don’t want to submit, so they sedate. They go to whatever they need to in order to avoid having to collide: they eat, drink, pop pills, ignore, delve into fitness. People go to religion to justify the shitty relationship they’re in; that somehow it will be magical when they die. QUESTION Where inside of your relationship are you sedating to avoid collision? Communication Challenge: How has your upbringing affected your ability to embrace both the Darkness and the Light within you? Date Night Topic: Have a conversation about your particular Crazy. What is the name of your Dark side? Quote of the Week: “Individually, if you do not come to terms with the fact that you have a brilliant side that is filled with light, and that you have a brilliant side that is filled with Night, that your Crazy offsets your Creator, and that your Creator cannot exist without your Crazy; until you can come to terms with yourself on this, you will never find harmony long-term in a relationship with any other person, specifically with your wife.” –Garrett J White “I think people sedate their blessing. They think their blessing is their curse, so they sedate the thing that can actually give them power. What if you looked at these things as a blessing and not a curse? What if you used these to learn how to navigate through life instead of sedating what God gave you as ‘different?’ What if you learned how to use it to your benefit?” –Danielle K White
Welcome to the Date Your Wife Podcast, aka the White’s weekly therapy session, coming to you for the first time from their new home studio. In this week’s personal and up-close conversation from inside their bedroom, the highlights of this episode include details about Closet Sex, Garrett’s tendency to go to the extreme, the purpose behind this podcast, and business strategies when it comes to dealing with the haters. *This is an Encore presentation from February 2019*   Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…Communication Point #1: Closet Sex Danielle’s certain she has nailed down the exact time and place of conception of their baby due in July. Knowing her ‘window of pregnancy opportunity’ was wide open, and determined to take full advantage of it, she seduced Garrett one morning as he was on his way out the door. QUESTION Ladies, when and where was the last time you seduced your husband or partner? Point #2: Rivals & Haters Any successful business is always going to have rivals and haters. When you’re new in the game, you take it very seriously and it can be crippling. Garrett: Inside of a relationship, you have to choose you. At the end of the day, if you’re in a relationship that’s not working out, as hard as it might be, you have to take responsibility for the way your marriage is because of you. QUESTION What has been your experience with the “haters” inside of your personal and business life? Point #3: Compromise Danielle: When there’s an end result that I’m looking to get, sometimes I don’t look at the steps I need to take in order to get to that end result. A relationship is a sacrifice and compromise on both ends. There were many times Garrett and I told each other to fuck off. No one goes into a relationship wishing it was shitty. QUESTION What is the current state of your marriage?   Point #4: They’re Going to Talk Shit Garrett: We started down this path of being responsible for our own change as individuals which allowed us to make some very important decisions when it came to business. Part of that process comes from dealing with people who talk shit. In the beginning stage of business, we always believe we’re the exception and that there is something we can do that will have people NOT talk shit about us. QUESTION What is your strategy for dealing with people who talk shit about you or your business? Point #5: The Certainty of Collision Garrett: I think you need to fucking punch people because it helps YOU. When I launched my first podcast filled with explicit lyrics in the Christian category, I was like a knife salesman at a waterbed convention. People began attacking Garrett and were out to take him down. Even though he knew he had brought this on himself, he wasn’t prepared for the incessant heat he was receiving. As he launched his counter-attack on the haters, it began to weaponize him. QUESTION Where in your world have you taken a stand for something, and because of that, have you have received enormous backlash and persecution? Communication Challenge: Have a conversation around this topic: It’s your partner that gives you insight and guidance that no one else will give you; it’s your partner that gives you a swift kick, and it’s hard to receive. Date Night Topic: On your next Date Night, have a steamy conversation about seduction. Quote of the Week: “You don’t have to go looking for haters. The moment you take a stand of any significance, a war of haters will come to your front fucking door who are there to train you on how to be able to effectively and powerfully collide with other human beings..” —Garrett J White “If you can’t take the heat, you’re not strong enough to keep going. People who have had enormous amounts of success have figured out how to move on, say fuck you, have tunnel vision, work harder and smarter, and become the best at what they’re doing.” —Danielle K White
Every week married couple Danielle K and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…Communication Point #1: Divine Divorce Leads to Divine Destiny There are times when couples are in the midst of great chaos and find themselves knocking on the door of divorce. Because of this, most couples concur that there comes a point in their relationship where they must choose all in…again. Garrett: Although we didn’t get a divorce, there was an emotional separation that took place. We were functionally disconnected, meaning, we were very good at being disconnected. There came a time when the inevitable moment of decision presented itself where we had to make a choice. QUESTION What has been your experience with knocking on the door of divorce? Point #2: Am I With the Wrong Person? The IDEA of a relationship that is in continual bliss and always on fire is evident in the highlight reels that are plastered all over social media, giving others the impression of a fairytale happily-ever-after marriage. This is total bullshit. Garrett: There’s a moment of the Divine Divorce where you as a couple begin to drift but it’s actually setting up the next chapter of your relationship. Danielle: We kept looping back to the same arguments that never got solved, which had me wondering, “Am I with the wrong person?” QUESTION Is what you’re posting on social media a true reflection of the state of your marriage, or is it drenched in hopeful bliss and fantasy? Point #3: It’s Just How It Is Garrett: The vast majority of couples that I meet and connect with inside Wake Up Warrior and BMS are operating in very minimal sexual connection, very minimal emotional and spiritual connection, and are surviving. But the challenge is, they don’t even know they’re surviving. The belief is, “This is just how it is.” If you surround yourself with people who have this belief, it’s not until something traumatic happens where it begins to expose how shitty things really are. In our marriage when the money disappeared, that is when the chaos of our marriage was exposed. QUESTION Where in your world do you have the belief of “it’s just how it is?” Point #4: From Divorce to Divine Divorcement The reality of how people show up in marriage is quite alarming to Garrett. Inside of many relationships he is connected with, he has witnessed many couples where both people are out of shape, they don’t go out on dates, there is no seduction or flirting, and they are in the managing and survival mode. Then they get a divorce. “What blows my mind is the transformation that begins taking place AFTER the divorce, where they blossom into this entirely new person. Instead of having to get divorced, what if you could literally go through a Divine Divorcement?” QUESTION If on the verge of divorce, what would be possible inside your marriage if you considered the possibility of creating new patterns while remainging married? Point #5: It’s a Choice Garrett: No matter how powerfully connected you feel to who you are and what you have, the next version of your relationship as a couple is impossibly held hostage by the current constraints of what you believe is possible today. No matter what state your marriage is in today, there’s another level calling you. And in order to get to that next level, there’s a Divine Divorcement upon you. Divine in the sense that God, through the gift of agency, is giving you an opportunity to choose. QUESTION What are some of the limiting beliefs that are holding your marraige hostage? Communication Challenge: How are you choosing to show up in your marriage? What are you choosing to divorce? Without the divorcement and without the decision to do it, nothing is going to change inside of your relationship. Date Night Topic: Have a conversation about the things that attracted you to each other in the beginning of your relationship. How those have evolved and changed over time? What are some things you can do now to create new chemistry and excitement inside your relationship? Quote of the Week: “There’s a new destiny on the other side of divorce. Divorce is simply choosing to do something different; it’s the laying down and putting aside of that which is old and not working, for something that is new and can work.” —Garrett J White “People underestimate the small consistencies daily that create a big win in life. Stay committed, be patient, and kick your husband in the ass every now and again if he needs it.” —Danielle K White
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…. Communication Point #1: Guilt: The Enemy Danielle hates feeling guilty. “I think guilt is the enemy, and that nothing can pull you into a downward spiral faster than guilt. When I feel guilt, I ask myself why I’m feeling this way. Can I fix it? What can I do NOT to feel this?” Women feel all kinds of guilt, whether it be mommy guilt, business guilt, sex guilt, or even food guilt. When she’s making decisions, Danielle asks herself if this will set her up to have a shitty day the next day. If so, “I have self-control and self-discipline.” QUESTION As a woman, how do you process guilt?   Point #2: Attack With the Stack Guilt plagues guys in a massive way and they, too, experience all kinds of guilt inside of marriage, family, and business. If they work long hours to provide for their family, they feel guilty for being away from them so much. And then, if they’re away and DON’T produce, they feel guilty about that, with an extra dose of shame and worthlessness thrown in. Garrett deals with guilt by using a powerful tool called the Stack. “I ask myself a series of questions that help me flip my guilt. I do this through an app on my cell phone, Attack with the Stack, where I’m able to deal with and process my thoughts and stories.” QUESTION As a man, how do you process guilt? Point #3: The Dream Danielle’s recent dream was like a blockbuster adventure, mystery, and horror movie rolled into one. Garrett & Danielle explore it and the possible meanings it could hold, and he reminds her, “You have dreams, and your dreams mean something.” Danielle: I think this dream came because I have been anxious about work. This year, I have taken on the role of CEO in addition to being a salon owner, an education director, launching my new ISLA hairline, and having a baby. I’ve snapped back strong from this baby, and mentally I feel strong, but I think I was scared that it was going to be too overwhelming. I think I was just scared of the unknown. QUESTION Do you or your spouse have dreams that carry timely messages?   Point #4: Running From Life During an especially difficult three year period for the White’s, Garrett became an ultra-marathon runner, often running up to twenty miles a day. Danielle claims he was running from life. Garrett: Being an ultra-marathon runner was deeply powerful for me. Do you know what it did for me? I learned how to physically hurt for days and days and days on end with no complaint at all. It just fucking hurt. It’s almost like you learn how to hurt and be ok with hurting. QUESTION What do you do to run away from your problems?   Point #5: Every Mom Has a Different Path Garrett & Danielle have a conversation about the different choices women make today as either working-outside-the-home moms, stay-at-home moms, CEO moms, or a combination of these. Garrett feels that many women are miserable, depressed, and selling themselves short when they are stay-at-home moms, although he fully supports any choice women make. Danielle: I love being a mom. I love everything about it. But I also know I love doing stuff for myself. I think a lot of women pursue things outside of being a mom, but they look at it as a hobby. And I did that in the beginning, but then I was faced with a situation where I didn’t know if I was going to stay married.” This is what ultimately birthed NBR, DKW Salon, her education company, and the ISLA hairline. QUESTION How do you both feel about the choices you have made up to this point? Communication Challenge: Have a conversation about this phrase, “I wish I could just be a stay-at-home mom.” Does this trigger you? What does it actually mean to you? Date Night Topic:  Who are your super heros? Why?   Quote of the Week:  “I’ll be hurting and suffering in business with so much shit to do, so I’ll take a deep breath and say, ‘There is no finish line, this will not end quickly, this is going to fucking hurt badly, and… it is what it is.” —Garrett J White  “I’m super logical, and I flip things because I hate that feeling of guilt. I know if I take the feeling out of it and logically look at something – even if I’m in the wrong – I can understand it, let go, and try to do better.” —Danielle K White
* New Episode* The White’s are back and on fire in this new episode of the Date Your Wife podcast. Inarguably one of their spicier therapy sessions yet, in addition to today’s theme of the Karmic Loop, Garrett & Danielle delve into the topics of parenting, fitness, dating, the art of seduction, sex, and have a candid conversation about the loop Garrett has been stuck in for the past two weeks.    Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…. Communication Point #1: The Hamster Wheel When artists inside of Danielle’s programs tell her they don’t have time to do the work required to make the changes they want to see inside of their business and life, she describes that as being on a hamster wheel. “You say you don’t have time and you’re extremely tired…but you’re not actually going anywhere, you’re literally just looping and looping. You can’t afford NOT to have time. When people say they don’t have enough time, it gives them an excuse not to try something new.” QUESTION Where in your world are you making excuses instead of making time?   Point #2: False Lift When you’re going along in life, and you suddenly get triggered about something, you begin to drift into a series of feelings of anger, blame, guilt, and shame, aka the Pit. Once inside the Pit, you want to fix things, but you’re not sure how. You begin thinking, “If only I could go back to how things were before.” As you fall and drift down from the peak to the Pit, you find yourself inside a false lift that takes you back to the peak where you were before…but no change has actually taken place, and nothing is ever fixed. QUESTION What area of your life do you continuously have the same arguments over and over and over again? How is that working for you? Point #3: Collision The only way to change this is to identify that you’re in the loop. If you find yourself repeating the same arguments over and over again, arguing about the same shit, in the same way, that’s a telltale sign you are stuck inside the Karmic Loop or on the never-ending Hamster Wheel. Once you identify that you’re in the loop, you’ve got to collide. The first collision is with yourself, and the second collision is with your spouse. It’s about taking responsibility for where you are. QUESTION Inside your relationship, what are you afraid to have a conversation about with your spouse?   Point #4: Shut Down Garrett is experiencing a loop where he has shut down sexually. He has the drive and yet lacks the hunt for Danielle. “I will sit and wait for Danielle to jump on me, which she literally does.” Garrett feels he created a pattern after years of rejection and trained himself not to go on the hunt. “I don’t do the weird thing, I don’t go pouty, I just do nothing. It’s shut off.” QUESTION Identify a loop you currently find yourself in. What is the first step you can take to begin changing that?   Point #5: The Stack Using the Warrior tool called the Stack, Garrett takes himself through a series of questions and answers about this loop he currently finds himself in with regards to shutting himself down sexually, even though it is very clear Danielle is “open for business.” During the process of asking himself what it is that he wants, he reveals, “I want Garrett to become a sexual hunter again in his marriage like he was in the first year of his marriage. I want Garrett to break the chains of sexual dysfunction in the game he is playing.” QUESTION How willing are you to dive deep into questions of self-inquiry? Communication Challenge: Identify one area in your relationship where you have the same argument in the same way over and over and over. Using the art of collision, begin taking steps to move forward. Date Night Topic:  Talk about things you like your spouse to do that turn you on. Quote of the Week:  “If you don’t have a relationship with your spouse, and all your energy is poured into your kids, it’s gotta be a pretty depressing day when your kids leave.” —Garrett J White  “I have to walk by damn near naked and be like, “We’re open for business!” —Danielle K White     dateyourwife.com, warriorgreens.com becomeaking.com, dkwstyling.com
It’s no secret that the Date Your Wife Podcast doubles as a weekly therapy session for married co-hosts, Danielle K and Garret J White. This week during their candid conversation about the topic of parenting, fireworks are ignited as they each take a strong stance for their differing parenting tactics and strategies. *Episode Repeat from July 2018*     Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month:     Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication     In This Week’s Podcast…. PARENTING     Point #1: Monster Mom, Monster Child     Garrett spent this past week in Costa Rica on a surfing vacation, and Danielle and the girls flew to Utah to be with her parents for a few days. That first night deep in the jungle of Costa Rica, Garrett received a frantic and emotional text call from Baily, their eleven-year-old daughter, who was screaming and freaking out about her smashed cell phone. That night, he realized that at the end of the day, he had absolutely no control over what was happening over 3500 miles away in a different country.   Danielle: At the same moment Garrett was having that realization, I was having the realization that there was nothing I could do, either. Bailey had flipped her lid and was totally irrational, to the point where anything I said escalated the situation on both sides. I started out calm, and then I got to the point where monster mom came out. I reminded her that she’s eleven and is not entitled to a phone, and eventually grabbed her phone and threw it. I suddenly realized that monster mom created monster child.   QUESTION     What is your parenting strategy when your kids are behaving irrationally?     Point #2: To Slap or Not to Slap     Garrett: Danielle texted me and asked me what she should have done. I said, slap her, but she said no. “Breaking cell phones is a very expensive habit because every cell phone you break, you inevitably end up getting a new cell phone, and we just end up spending more money. Slap her, it’s free, and a quick slap takes care of it all.”   Danielle: I remember being backhanded by my mom a few times. One time she did it so hard that I flew into the window and got a bloody nose. You want me to slap her, but the repercussions of being a pre-teen and having your mom or dad backhand you across the face cause far more scarring than throwing a cell phone.   QUESTION     What are your thoughts about slapping? Yes or no?     Point #3: Cell Phone Family Plan     Danielle: When Baily doesn’t have her cell phone with her 24/7, she’s more present. She has a tendency to get into her head. She worries about the wrong shit and gets sucked into the vortex. I think there’s a lot of good that comes from Social Media, but there have to be boundaries, and there have to be limitations so there isn’t this sense of entitlement. Tonight when we get home, we’re going to create a cell phone contract with her.   Garrett: I think the contract is a very good idea. I just think you need to be very clear about what you’re going to put on the contract. You better be ready to enforce it, and you better know what the enforcement of the plan is, otherwise it’s just going to be another one of those things that never happen. QUESTION     Cell phones and kids – why or why not?     Point #4: Different Parents, Different Strategies     Garrett: As parents, we have radically different strategies for dealing with our children. I deal with life one way, Danielle deals with life another way. Part of what used to cause a lot of conflict was that we didn’t know how to submit to what the other person was passionate about. For example, Danielle said that Baily told her to her face that she’s a fucking bitch. I would slap her in the mouth.   But Danielle’s opposed to that and thinks it’s super trashy. In my opinion, if our daughter calls Danielle a fucking bitch, she deserves to be slapped in the face. The end. Danielle’s strategy is to ignore and wait until things blow up, then she deals with the chaos from that point on. I like to intercept shit and punch it before it becomes a major issue. This has created a lot of chaos for us as we raise our children because we have totally different strategies.   QUESTION     What are your parenting strategies?     Point #5: Kings, Support Your Queens     Garrett: Gentlemen, yes it’s your job to lead in the house, but at the same time, your wife spends more time with your children. At the end of the day, although I may have opinions about how things should go on at home, she spends the most time with them and they’ve figured out their game. One of the worst things you can do is to fuck up their flow, even when it looks like complete insanity from the outside. Just support it.   There’s a shitload of disrespect in our country with kids in this age group who just don’t give a shit. They talk shit to their parents, to adults, and to teachers. I don’t necessarily have the answers, but here’s what I do know: inside of it at some point – as a man – it’s more important to back your wife in what’s going on than it is for you to be right.   QUESTION     How is this conversation resonating with you and your spouse?     Communication Challenge:      Discuss your parenting strategies in the area of discipline. How can you two come together to create a unified team?     Date Night Topic:      To slap or not to slap: why or why not? How has your upbringing shaped your opinion about it?     Quote of the Week:      “Have the courage to have conversations even when you disagree.” —Garrett J White      “Make sure that whatever the plan is that you back your significant other.” —Danielle K White
*NEW EPISODE* The White’s are back in the studio with a brand new episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, fresh and on point in the style you have come to love! We learn what has been transpiring in their lives since the arrival of baby Isla, what postpartum life is like, why Danielle feels they should show themselves some grace, why Garrett referred to Danielle as Tom Brady the morning after their Anniversary, and much, much more. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….Sex Point #1: The Miracle  Nearly all parents can agree that the first few days and weeks of having a new baby in the house is a huge adjustment for everyone. This one investment has made all the difference and is what Garrett refers to as a life preserver. What is it? It’s a Snoo. Adds Danielle, “It’s a miracle. You zip the baby in so they can’t wriggle out of their blanket, and it plays white noise while gently rocking them.” QUESTION What gadgets have helped you with your newborn? Point #2: The Meltdown Garrett created the “Don’t Be a Dick While Your Wife is Pregnant” challenge which he managed to pull off up until he fumbled on the second-yard line. “She’s two weeks postpartum and something inside of me snaps. I am obsessed with sex and I get to this angry place.” Danielle: You did the weird thing that makes a woman feel more guilty. Then I had a postpartum meltdown explosion. I was postpartum, mixed with newborn emotions, and my eyes and forehead were weeping in ways they never had. I bawled my eyes out for an hour with a lot of fuck you’s in between. QUESTION What did you experience as a couple during the early postpartum days & weeks? Point #3: The Anniversary After their huge blowout, Danielle knew it was time for them to get back on track doing the things that worked for them in their relationship: this podcast, Date Nights, and Sex. She was beginning to feel more like a woman rather than an “Umpa Loompa” as she put on her makeup, pulled up her Spanx, and went out on a date with Garrett. She also realized that they needed to give themselves some grace. Garrett: We got back on track sexually, and then we had what I’m going to call the Quantum Night, Quantum standing for four – the Cuatro night. It’s in my favorite files. I can put out imagery and live video footage – an hour of it. That was so amazing. That was the best ever! QUESTION What was it that brought you back on track sexually after the births of your babies? Point #4: The Green Light Does the woman initiate? Do they wait for the guy to initiate? What can she do to signal that the doors are open? What should he NEVER do if he wants to initiate sex? Men, if you’re trying to get your wife in the mood and immediately start rubbing or slapping her butt, or go in for the boobs, THAT IS A HUGE TURN OFF! DON’T DO THAT! Instead, come to her and say something like, “Let me rub your shoulders.” This works like a charm for most women. QUESTION What are the Red Lights and Green Lights inside of your sex life? Point #5: Sneak Preview Here’s a sneak preview into the world of the White’s and their respective businesses. Garrett: WARRIOR GREENS – Kitchen-style documentary on the history of Warrior Greens and how they support the conversation of CORE 4 for both men & women. BECOME A KING Series – The seven Pits and Power moves of married businessmen with children. Danielle: Creator of Natural Beaded Rows (NBR), Host of the Big Money Stylist Podcast, Hair Education (NBR & BMS), Hairline (ISLA), Ower of DKW Styling Salon. Go to dkwstying.com to find out more. QUESTION What are you creating in your lives either as a couple or individually? Communication Challenge: Have a conversation about what keeps you on track as a couple. Date Night Topic: Come up with some unique-to-you Green Lights. Quote of the Week: “The game was a little rough. My brake pads were completely exhausted, and I was tearing apart my rotors with no brake pads. I didn’t realize I had run out of runway. All of my will power and “white-knuckling it” was gone. Something shifted in my brain. The baby’s out, the vagina’s open for business, why am I still being rejected?” –Garrett J White “You gotta be the bigger person, ladies.” –Danielle K White betheman.com, dkwstyling.com
*EPISODE REPEAT FROM OCTOBER 2018* On the heels of a fabulous weekend getaway to New York City, Danielle and Garrett have a conversation about the importance of taking time away from their children and their day-to-day responsibilities, and reconnecting with each other as a couple on a deeper level. ______________________________________________________________________________ Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….Sex Point #1: Weekend Getaways At least four times a year, Garrett and Danielle take long weekend trips to reset their relationship. Before Garrett began committing to these getaways, he was unable to see the ROI in them. For ten years, he had a difficult time reconciling spending money on any type of vacation. QUESTION When was the last time you and your spouse went on a weekend getaway? Point #2: Refresh and Unplug In the Strategic Coach program, Dan Sullivan created the Entrepreneur Time System. Inside of that, you have Focus Days, Buffer Days, and Free Days. When you go on weekend getaways, there are a couple of things that have to happen: 1- you must be able to refresh, and 2- you must be able to unplug. QUESTION What do you and your spouse do in order to come away refreshed from these getaways? Point #3: Can’t vs Can You’ll always find something that can get in the way of taking time away from the kids in order to be with each other: you don’t have time, the conditions aren’t right, it’s either all or nothing. A lot of times, we focus on what we can’t do instead of what we can do. If your marriage is in a rough place, it’s even easier to justify why you can’t do something. QUESTION What excuses can you clear away in order to make room for weekend vacations with your spouse? Point #4: Sexual Distance When Danielle feels like they’re in a weird place, she thinks back to the time when they were dating. “What were the behaviors I was doing that I don’t do anymore?” Garrett: If you have some distance sexually, it’s very easy to get stuck in a routine where you start going through these phases: anticipation, desperation, fuck you, and apathy. QUESTION What are some things you did when you were dating that you’re no longer doing? Point #5: Primal Connection If you don’t get space away from your current environment, you can’t return to the primal nature that actually connected you in the beginning. If you’re not connecting regularly, you end up inside of a stale relationship where you’re simply partners in the game, sans the lust and the primal connection. QUESTION What are you doing to retain and ignite the primal connection you felt when you first met and dated your spouse? Communication Challenge: Take a walk down memory lane and reminisce about the things you loved doing together when you first met and while you were dating. Date Night Topic: Get your calendars out and plan your weekend getaways for the next 12 months. Quote of the Week: “I’m constantly creating opportunities inside of our relationship to have space away with Danielle.” –Garrett J White “Let’s hit the reset button before it gets too far into the ‘fuck you’ mode.” –Danielle K White betheman.com, dkwstyling.com  
*REPEAT EPISODE FROM NOVEMBER 2018* As highly successful producers, Danielle and Garrett have a conversation about their business growth, their goals for the upcoming year, and how they are going to simplify the game moving forward. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….MONEY Point #1: Cleaning House Danielle spent a portion of the year stepping outside of her business, watching it explode in growth, but at the same time, realizing she may have stepped out a little too far. The goal of 2019 inside of Wake Up Warrior is to unify the men, tighten up the game, and simplify it. QUESTION What areas of your life can you tighten up as we head into 2019?   Point #2: The Money Game During the early years of their marriage, Danielle and Garrett were both working. Garrett was paying the bills and Danielle was stockpiling money. While Danielle’s father paid the bills, her mother paid for their lifestyle. Garrett’s parents had the agreement that his mom would stay home with the kids, which she wanted, and his father would pay the bills. QUESTION What role did your parents play in the money game when you were growing up? What role do you play? Point #3: Mommy Guilt Many women wonder how they can work because it will take time away from their kids. It’s Danielle’s belief that working makes women less crazy. Danielle: If you feel like you want to pursue those passions and talents of yours, do it. It’s my belief that it makes you a different and a better person. QUESTION As a wife and mother, what would be possible for your life if you began pursuing some of your passions and talents outside of the home?   Point #4: Different AND Equal Back in the day, the economic engine of life was the home where both the man and the woman were producers. Upon the arrival of the Industrial Revolution, a rift took place within the fabric of the home. The trend that Garrett sees happening inside of this conversation of money is that women are seeing themselves as a vital piece of the production game, and at the same time, they don’t want to do it alone. QUESTION How do you view your roles as producers?   Point #5: Power and Stress A lot of men begin to feel inadequate if their wives are working, and it’s actually very frightening for them. They are weak men who get threatened by their wives having any kind of power. Garrett’s goal and target is to always make 10x more than Danielle. Danielle: Garrett deserves to make ten times the amount I do because I’m not willing to take on that stress. QUESTION As a man, how are your feelings of inadequacy affecting your relationship with your wife? Communication Challenge: Have a discussion about your current roles inside of your marriage. What would you like to change as you move into 2019? Date Night Topic: What are your passions and desires as a couple? What would you like to do together in 2019? Get out your calendars and start making plans. Quote of the Week: “If a woman controls sex AND money, it leaves a guy in a very interesting place. He has to be very confident and certain as a man.” —Garrett J White “Maybe I could have been the best damn version of me had I not worked, but In my experience, me working has made our relationship better.” —Danielle K White
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Comments (11)

Ева И.

Obnoxious A.F. hosts talking over each other with no structure or point. it's like a reality TV.

Jan 16th
Reply (1)

Cliffy B.

DUDE. Let your wife talk you are a douche bag

Oct 24th
Reply

Linda Nancarrow Grimm

He gets in my last nerve.

Mar 23rd
Reply

Mary Crapo

I discovered you can go on your app and turn off wireless data on any phone on your acct, and turn it back on at any time with no fee. kids can still text and call, but no apps work. Every night at 1000 can turn off,.....no fighting, and they can keep the phone......then turn back on every am. Works!

Jan 9th
Reply

Arthur Fernandes

Was there some kind of error? This is just episode 6. I really hope they didn't just re-post an old episode...

Dec 12th
Reply

Abigail Buck

This podcast is wonderful. I was shocked hear so many aspects of this podcast hit home. Thanks for so openly sharing your lives! There have been some wonderful changes in our marriage since we started listening.

Dec 3rd
Reply

Lam Chops

Great insight, I do t feel like I’m going crazy

Oct 22nd
Reply

Kim Harden-Scott

It is true.

Jan 24th
Reply

Kim Harden-Scott

This is hilarious! I love you guys' frankness!!

Jan 24th
Reply

Bradig Gisgam

I MISS YOU YOU JOELYN RENEE WILLES MAGSIG

Jan 17th
Reply
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