DONE PLAYING BY THE RULES

Speaking of “shit we’re not supposed to talk about”, this week, Jenelle bares all aspects of her plastic surgery journey. She pre-recorded half the episode and then come back to explain the REAL truth behind surgery, recovery and the stigma around enhancement procedures. Jenna will pepper her with questions, as usual, and both hosts will discuss the benefits of lymphatic massage. Plus, all your neighbors are getting procedures, they’re just not talking about it openly, so let’s blow the lid of this “taboo topic.Rad bra company mentioned by Jenelle at the 4 minute mark:https://www.liviloulaine.comScar tape:https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B09C1FZY78/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1Drain holder for shower (boob job or tummy tuck):https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09VYTH3ZX/ref=cm_sw_r_oth_api_i_JPJ7RV1NJ1BPDVP41JH7?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1ALSO recommended for tummy tucks:https://www.amazon.com/dp/B088R55BX6/ref=cm_sw_r_oth_api_i_QC245ER6S92R5TY1KC27?th=1Friend of the show/Digestive wizard:IG: @whitneyc.the.rdIG Influencer that advocated for post surgical care:@mywholeassjourney

TW: Self-harm mentioned at 38 minutes.In this episode, Jenna and Jenelle discuss the TikTok that went viral, about a piece posted on thecut.com entitled, “Epiphany in the Baby-Food Aisle: On a trip to the grocery store one day, I had a realization about me, my son, and the meaning of life."By Jessi KleinThe hosts dive into the many ways motherhood “annihilates us” and how we all do our best to cope.  How every mom you meet is fighting a silent battle, and how we all are just doing our best to not run away screaming most days.  The Article:https://www.thecut.com/2022/04/excerpt-ill-show-myself-out-jessi-klein.htmlThe Book:https://www.amazon.com/Ill-Show-Myself-Out-Motherhood/dp/0062981595/ref=asc_df_0062981595/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=564630212541&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=1506460334774740677&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9021546&hvtargid=pla-1665108995037&psc=1

Oooh hot topic alert! Bullying is very prevalent in today’s society, but is it TRULY bullying or is it teasing? Listen in to learn the difference and what to do if your child is experiencing either situation. Jenna and Jenelle cover both sides on this episode by diving in on what to do if your kid is being, bullied as well as what to do if your kid IS the bully. Notice of Harassment form- http://www.documatica-forms.com/bullying.phpStopbullying.gov https://goop.com/wellness/parenthood/when-your-kid-is-the-bully/

TW: Eating disorders and child death imagery discussed.Jenna and Jenelle catch you up on, surmise, their current favorite workouts, before diving into a Mental Health Month topic.  Anxiety produces intrusive and/or ruminating thoughts in people with the condition, but Jenna will explain other disorders than can produce the symptoms described in this episode.  Also they will touch on some of their lowest lows with intrusive and ruminating thoughts (perinatal and postpartum anyone?), as well as what they have found helps in their never ending quest to be the best, mentally-ill humans they can be.  Peloton: Reminder, we can send you a free trial and you don’t need an equipment for barre classes. Go to strength, the sub-category barre. Free trial link:https://www.onepeloton.com/digital/checkout/digital-gp-60d?utm_source=ios_app&utm_medium=in_app&code=e99302c8088d4e28a5a6a0d29ba2f4e8&locale=en-USLicorice tabs - https://www.nhc.com/rhizinate-fructose-free-by-integrative-therapeutics?quantity=1&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=sales-new-business-pla&gclid=Cj0KCQjw1N2TBhCOARIsAGVHQc68PZ_qb9DUKPh4DNnLcfnq829nr0NcBTJUhVCp6Nya5r0Ryh-cXmMaAtbHEALw_wcBBooks on evolutionary brain wiring:https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062316117?tag=goodbooks009-20&geniuslink=true

Let’s talk attachment styles! This week Jenna and Jenelle discuss the different types of attachment styles, what it means for adulthood and what can be done if a desired attachment style isn’t achieved. Listen in as the ladies work their way through the attachment styles and be sure to take the ACE quiz linked below. Enjoy!GOOP article: https://goop.com/wellness/parenthood/how-to-raise-securely-attached-children/ACE quiz: https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/03/02/387007941/take-the-ace-quiz-and-learn-what-it-does-and-doesnt-meanhttps://www.verywellmind.com/attachment-styles-2795344https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/attachment-and-adult-relationships.htm

This week, Jenna and Jenelle tackle the ever changing economic landscape and whether or not that still fits with the traditional 4 year college experience.  Jenna and Jenelle are admittedly “college apathetic” but will bring some discussion points to the table for both sides of the debate.  Is college going to relevant for “Generation Alpha” and what college alternatives are currently being offered as well as what is to come.  Sources:https://www.inc.com/ryan-jenkins/straight-to-work-6-reasons-generation-z-will-skip-college.htmlhttps://investedwallet.com/best-gig-economy-jobs/

It’s the one year anniversary party! This week, Jenna and Jenelle decided to shake things up a bit and asked you for some of you best, most awkward dating stories.   Enjoy all the cringe with none of the personal experience and ever-lasting trauma of having to live through these awkward dates.  All true stories.  Mostly listeners and friends of the show.  

Hot topic alert! On this episode Jenna and Jenelle discuss the cons (AND pros) of screen time. Screen time is such a popular topic in today’s world and the ladies try to cover all the bases of this topic. They also give tips for how to include more screens in a healthy way, as well as how to screen detox for anyone interested in that wild adventure (we do it all the time, so we’re basically experts… JK no parent is an expert on anything, TBH).  Jenna is much more limited with screens than Jenelle, but Jenelle is still considered a “limited screen” family.  But both your favorite hosts have had wildly different views and practices throughout their mom-ventures.  Boy’s Adrift book- https://www.amazon.com/Boys-Adrift-Epidemic-Unmotivated-Underachieving/dp/0465040829/ref=sr_1_1?adgrpid=1334807681055764&hvadid=83425718989764&hvbmt=be&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=66922&hvnetw=o&hvqmt=e&hvtargid=kwd-83425828115147%3Aloc-190&hydadcr=8895_13533692&keywords=boys+adrift+book&qid=1647551330&sr=8-1Jenelle’s Articles:https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/childrens-health/in-depth/screen-time/art-20047952https://www.forbes.com/sites/ericmack/2019/10/22/oxford-study-challenges-what-youve-been-told-about-screen-time-and-kids-for-years/?sh=5a6000ce13bdhttps://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/Children-And-Watching-TV-054.aspx

TW: Miscarriage discussed at 14:48In this week’s installment of “the shit we’re not supposed to talk about”, Jenna and Jenelle tackle the tricky topic of why women are so quick to talk badly about each other.  Why does it feel ingrained in our DNA to put down other women for having things we want or for being more successful than us?  Is it hardwired, or is it this face-paced social media world we all live in?  Join the hosts as they discuss why YOU might be critical of someone else, what it means when someone is critical of you, and whether someone else’s opinion of you ever REALLY matters.  Yes, that includes BOSSES.  And also, the paradox of “being great at something” and what that really means?  Are you really THAT great, or do you just possess something one small fraction of society finds valuable?  Join us on another wild ride, exploring why women criticize other women, this week on Done Playing By the Rules. https://goop.com/wellness/career-money/why-women-criticize-each-other-plus-ways-to-play-bigger/

Have you ever been faced with the difficult situation of talking to kids about death and/or grief? In this episode, Jenna and Jenelle cover this heavy and uncomfortable (yet important) topic. While they are not certified experts (IN LITERALLY ANYTHING), they do have a ton of (unfortunate) first-hand experience in discussing death and grief with young children. The ladies give tips from personal experience, as well as from well-researched articles. While this topic is heavy and something most of us don’t like to think about, the ladies do try to keep it light. Maybe they'll even toss in some inappropriate jokes? Who knows! Tune in this week to learn how to talk with kids about death because, unfortunately, we will all have to face it, sooner or later. Books referenced:The Invisible String- https://theinvisiblestring.comWaterbeds and Dragonflies:Explaining Death to Young Children- https://www.amazon.com/Water-Bugs-Dragonflies-Explaining-Children/dp/B00D82131W/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1I4L43JKQW8UG&keywords=waterbugs+and+dragonflies+book&qid=1646860219&s=books&sprefix=waterb%2Cstripbooks%2C74&sr=1-2Why Do Things Die- https://usborne.com/us/first-questions-and-answers-why-do-things-die-9780794551025It’s Ok that You’re Not Ok- https://www.amazon.com/Its-That-Youre-Not-Understand/dp/1622039076/ref=sr_1_1?adgrpid=1346902551495407&hvadid=84181633381221&hvbmt=be&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=66922&hvnetw=o&hvqmt=e&hvtargid=kwd-84181956235431%3Aloc-190&hydadcr=22592_13494530&keywords=it%27s+ok+that+you%27re+not+ok+book&qid=1646867074&sr=8-1

This week, Jenelle shares the journey to her recent ADHD diagnosis.  Jenelle had suspicions for the last year and half, that ADHD could be a contributing factor to her mental health struggles, but didn’t go through with a perusing a diagnosis until 2 months ago.  ADHD diagnoses are becoming increasingly common in 30-40 year olds, as we start digging into our issues in therapy and addressing things that we don’t want to pass on to our kids.  And on that same topic, did you know ADHD runs in families?  Because Jenelle did NOT.  As usual, Jenna will pepper Jenelle with questions, and there will be humor and plenty of cussing.  Enjoy!Jenelle’s medication: https://www.drugs.com/mtm/atomoxetine.htmlPodcast: Whiskey Ginger (guest NIKKI GLASER)https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/whiskey-ginger-w-andrew-santino/id1440300401?i=1000490899050

This episode is a different but important one. Jenna and Jenelle discuss their family safety plans and what they have in place to keep their families safe as well as where they need to improve. This is a conversation that is very important to the ladies and something not many people talk about since it is a subject that they hope never becomes a reality. Judy kit- https:www.judy.coCabellas freeze dried food kit- https://www.cabelas.com/shop/en/wise-company-60-serving-freeze-dried-entree-meal-kit?ds_e=MICROSOFT&ds_c=Shop%7CCAB%7CTopPerformers%7CHunting&msclkid=b1c72443999c1782335146551b7088c8&gclid=b1c72443999c1782335146551b7088c8&gclsrc=3p.ds

Listen in this week to hear the ladies discuss what they call "mini spirals" versus "mega spirals". They give personal experience as well as discuss when to seek help.

This episode, Jenna and Jenelle dive into the comparision game that is as old as time.  Cave men probably compared who had the best cave, and today we compare who went on the most grandious vacation or who has the most coordinated holiday card.  But if when we break it down, it’s all a bit of facade, isn’t it?  No one’s life is perfect.  Not a single one of us has every physical and mental feature we desire.  And social media is just a bit old magnifying glass that makes your life feel subpar.  Jenelle feels inferior to moms with more kids and working moms and Jenna feels she can’t live up to her mom’s legacy.  https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/learned-stop-comparinghttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/prescriptions-life/201803/how-stop-comparing-yourself-othersGlennon Doyle IG post: https://www.instagram.com/p/CZBDsIrLvir/?utm_medium=copy_link

The long requested introvert/extrovert episode is finally here!  While it is long recognized that this is a spectrum situation, most people tend to lean one way or another.  Jenelle fully leans extrovert and Jenna lands more into introvert territory.  But their friendship works because they see the value in each others unique strengths (and weaknesses).  But many introverts feel very misunderstood by their friends (especially within female friendships, which can often be much more emotionally taxing than other friendships).  They will also talk about “Spoon Theory”, “Hermit Mode”, and “emotional hangovers’.  Introvertdear.comSpoon Theory: ButYouDontLookSick.com“I’m a Spoon” by Kirsten Schultz: https://www.healthline.com/health/spoon-theory-chronic-illness-explained-like-never-before#1

Numbing of emotions is something every single one of us does or has done at some point in our lives, but it’s pretty unglamorous to talk about openly.  Luckily,  that’s what Jenna and Jenelle specialize in.  This episode, they get super vulnerable and honest while discussing the numerous coping mechanisms they (and many others) use to dull the emotions we feel every day, and the toll “emotional shoving-down” can take on both mind and body.  Whether it’s online shopping or lashing out at partners, we all have developed ways to squash down uncomfortable emotions, and our brains are designed to seek constant comfort and joy, so it’s not ALL our fault.  But how we learn from and grow from numbing our emotions IS in our control. And it’s going to take some practice, so buckle up.     Jenelle’s Article: [A must read] https://www.self.com/story/emotional-regulation-skillsHip stretching class from Peloton:  [any peloton member can currently get you a free 60 day trial, even us]https://members.onepeloton.com/classes/yoga?modal=classDetailsModal&classId=978294e00c5143d4a706c977e32e5249

This week, Jenna and Jenelle attempt to tackle the tough topic of raising grateful kids.  Parents often assume their kids should just be grateful for all the opportunity and privilege they have but gratitude is a learned experience and is actually very unnatural to small children.  They can’t be expected to jump for joy at every sweater Grandma gives them for Christmas.  In fact, they are more likely to be over-stimulated at holidays and have a much less desirable reaction.  So how do we turn these “greedy little animals” into appreciative, generous, empathetic beings? Who knows, but Jenna and Jenelle have some jumping off points to help get you started.  Jenna will dive into her nightly gratitude ritual, and how she mindfully eats in order to feel more grateful regularly. Jenelle will realize she spends approximately zero minutes being mindful or grateful per day.  Which side do you fall on? And do you think it trickles down to your kids?  @drbeckyatgoodinside

We’ve all been there.  The holidays are supposed to be a cheerful and joyous time yet we feel completely drained. This week, Jenna and Jenelle share their top tips on how to avoid holiday burnout. After experiencing burnout themselves and struggling with the stress that holiday expectations place on adults, the ladies are on a journey to try and embrace a slower, simpler holiday season. If that’s not your cup of tea and you love a huge and extravagant holiday season, they are all about that too! You do you and embrace what makes YOU happy this season. 

Have you ever posted a picture to your sparkling IG page of everyone crying right after you lost your mind on your partner and kids?  Nope?  Why not?  Because this is a part of the parenting struggle that we avoid talking about at all costs.  Yet, all evidence points to the fact that every single mom has experienced ‘mom rage’, at least once.  And for Jenna and Jenelle, that number is way more than once.  This week they open up about how prevalent “mom rage” is, how it’s increased ten-fold during this unprecedented parenting time (referred to as “pandemic parenting” by experts) and when to know if you need to get help.  Occasional blow ups are normal we just don’t talk about them with our friends.  But that’s exactly what we DO talk about on this episode.  Take a break tips: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/ways-sneak-mental-health-breaks_l_6176aab5e4b03072d6f9a073MOPS (Moms of Preschoolers) -support-https://www.mops.orgSOURCES:The EveryMom: https://theeverymom.com/how-to-deal-with-mom-rage/MOTHERLY: https://www.mother.ly/life/mom-rage-is-real-what-to-do‘I Am Going to Physically Explode’: Mom Rage in a Pandemic (Published 2020):https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/06/parenting/mom-rage-pandemic.html

Whether you are a fellow Halloween fanatic or just want to get in the spirit for spooky season, you don’t want to miss this episode! Jenna and Jenelle share their favorite Halloween memories, personal haunting stories as well as some stories shared by listeners. Listen in for stories of mysterious rocking chairs, childhood spirit guides, old ladies who watch you sleep.