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Dad Starting Over
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Welcome to the Dad Starting Over podcast! "Starting Over" means different things to different people. It could be that you're newly divorced and starting over fresh with a new life. It could be that you're still married and wanting to hit the reset button and finally do things right within your marriage. Whatever your story may be, you're in the right place.
I'm DSO, the author of books called "The Dead Bedroom Fix", "NOW WHAT?", and "Red Flags". You can learn more about me, my books, one-on-one coaching, and the member-only part of my site called the DSO Fraternity at dadstartingover.com.
I'm DSO, the author of books called "The Dead Bedroom Fix", "NOW WHAT?", and "Red Flags". You can learn more about me, my books, one-on-one coaching, and the member-only part of my site called the DSO Fraternity at dadstartingover.com.
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Sexual desire within monogamous relationships has long been a highly nuanced and widely debated subject. A myriad of psychological and anthropological perspectives suggest a noticeable shift in women's libido after entering into sustained, monogamous partnerships. In discussing this intimate terrain, insights from esteemed voices such as Esther Perel and Wednesday Martin provide angles that challenge popular misconceptions and open up a more in-depth dialogue about desire, commitment, and human nature.
Harry asks his wife to return to work post-pregnancy, which results in her filing for divorce. Their marriage struggles due to frequent disputes, troublesome family members, and strong feelings. Ralph examines the couple's dynamics, highlighting persistent problems and Harry’s desire for more kids. He recommends that Harry should focus on the well-being of their children and engage in self-reflection to avoid repeating these issues in any future relationships.
"Mister Niceguy No More" has written to Ralph about difficulties in his eleven-year marriage, describing his wife's distant and transactional approach to their sex life. This has caused him frustration and feelings of isolation. Ralph examines possible causes such as mental and hormonal health issues and suggests that proactive actions should be taken. Emphasizing the need for personal well-being and establishing boundaries, Ralph discusses how to deal with relationship problems and the importance of seeking assistance.
A reader reaches out to share his stress over being a new father and being tempted to almost cheat on his spouse... What does this mean for him and his marriage?
A reader has a great deal of resentment towards his spouse of 13-15 years of a dead bedroom marriage... but he's recently been diagnosed with cancer. Should he tell his wife? In the past, she has displayed some narcissistic tendencies, and tends to make all problems about herself.
We are proud to introduce our new brand: Help For Men! You can learn more at helpformen.com.The DSO Fraternity, our private group for men only, will now be known as The HFM Brotherhood.WE are looking forward to reach a wider audience and helping more men from around the world!
Dr. Psych Mom and Ralph answer a question from a follower: How often should the responsive desire partner actually initiate sex?
In this episode, Ralph addresses a listener's question about whether subscribing to OnlyFans is considered cheating. Ralph emphasizes that it's not about his opinion, but rather what the listener and his spouse think. He advises open communication and setting boundaries. Ralph also cautions against engaging in desperate behavior and encourages self-reflection. Listeners are reminded to respect their partner's values and opinions while expressing their own concerns. This episode offers honest advice on navigating boundaries and communication in relationships.
In this episode of Dear DSO, Jimmy from Scotland seeks advice on whether he should help his ex-wife with her mental health diagnosis. While he's hesitant due to painful memories and the fact that her mental health issues contributed to their divorce, DSO encourages him to consider the well-being of their children. By filling out the forms and providing valuable information, Jimmy could potentially help his ex-wife receive the necessary treatment and become a healthier individual for the sake of their kids. It's a complex situation that requires empathy and a willingness to put the past aside.The DSO Fraternity
In this episode, Dr. Psych Mom and DSO discuss the psychology behind pressuring a spouse about a dead bedroom versus ignoring the issue. They explore the challenges faced by anxious men in relationships and the importance of open communication. They also address the misconception that everything else in a marriage can be perfect except for the lack of sex. With insights into attachment styles and the need for compromise, this episode offers valuable advice for couples navigating intimacy issues.
Luke writes in to ask how to overcome feelings of abandonment from his ex-wife. He feels stuck, resentful, and alone after building his life around her. DSO empathizes with Luke's situation but encourages him to take control of his life and see this as an opportunity for growth. He suggests finding new ways to make money, embracing the freedom to pursue personal interests, and seeking support from communities like the DSO Fraternity. DSO emphasizes the importance of accepting the reality and using this experience to create a new and fulfilling chapter in life.The DSO Fraternity
DSO addresses a listener's struggle with a low-sex relationship. DSO explains the dynamics of anxious and avoidant attachment styles and offers insights into the complexities of these situations. He suggests reading his book, "The Dead Bedroom Fix," and seeking medical advice for erectile dysfunction. DSO emphasizes the importance of self-reflection and personal growth before blaming the partner. Tune in for valuable advice on navigating a challenging relationship.
Vanessa has been engaged for seven years but can't seem to get her partner to commit to marriage. Despite being together for 18 years and having two children, her partner is hesitant to tie the knot. Vanessa is starting to feel resentment and wants to know how to stop it from building further. DSo suggests asking her partner what specifically scares him about marriage and why it's so important to her. He advises Vanessa to either accept the situation, find a compromise, or consider calling it quits.
Jared, a divorced father, seeks advice on whether to continue doing activities as a family with his ex-wife and kids. The host suggests setting boundaries and prioritizing his own emotional well-being. While some argue that it's best for the children, the host emphasizes the importance of detaching emotionally and expediting the separation process. Listeners share their opinions, with one mentioning that if it's painful for either party, the kids will sense it. The host concludes that it's normal to still have lingering feelings but advises saying no and focusing on what's best for the children.
In this episode, DSO explores the common scenario of one partner being anxious and the other avoidant in a relationship. He offers advice on finding a middle ground and bridging the gap between the two. While the anxious partner may be willing to put in the work, the avoidant partner may resist constant attempts to fix things. DSO emphasizes that both partners have work to do and need to find a more secure center. Tune in for valuable insights on navigating this dynamic.
In this episode, DSO explores the possibility of moving from an avoidant to a secure attachment style in relationships. He emphasizes that both anxious and avoidant individuals have their own challenges to work on, and it takes professional help and effort from both sides to find a balance. DSO also discusses the frustration that anxious individuals may feel when their avoidant partners struggle to make progress. He shares personal experiences and highlights the difficulties of being with an avoidant person.
Jason, or "Coach J" as he is known by our group, is one of the founding members of the DSO Fraternity and acts as the director for our DSO coaches. J has recently retired from the U.S. Army and brings with him a wealth of life experience.In this very candid conversation, DSO and Coach J talk about what got him into the world of Dad Starting Over, his struggles, and his current extremely stressful life situation with divorce and his ex-wife's alcohol addiction issues. Thank you, J, for all that you do for us! Book time with Coach J: https://dadstartingover.com/coaching/jasonJoin our DSO Fraternity and get big discounts on coaching and A LOT more: https://dsofraternity.com
In this episode, DSO explores the sensitive topic of men feeling forgotten after having children. He shares the negative response he received from women when pointing out this issue and questions whether men are truly not helping or if their efforts are being overlooked. DSO emphasizes the importance of open communication and understanding between partners to bridge the gap and maintain a strong romantic connection amidst the challenges of parenthood. A thought-provoking discussion on the dynamics of modern relationships and the need for mutual support.Key Takeaways:Men often feel forgotten and sidelined in a partnership after children are born, which can spark negative reactions, particularly from women.The common critique from women retorts that if men were more involved in childcare and household duties, they wouldn't feel marginalized.The host challenges this critique, noting that many men are already significantly involved in domestic roles and responsibilities.Discussions highlight the importance of partnership and communication in tackling the changes that come with parenthood.The host suggests the need for empathy and understanding, particularly from women, when men express feelings of neglect or the desire for attention.
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I listen to this 3 times. The fact of the matter is like he said. he's damaged and sick, and I'm sure he left out vital details about his behavior with this young woman in this interview, that resulted in her distancing herself from him. you can tell he's super controlling because of his fear of being vulnerable and getting hurt. otherwise I was intrigued by his story.