Dads And Daddies

Judson helps Brian turn his frown upside down by making him reframe how he looks back on the past week, and challenges Brian to think about managing his stress with lessons about the mind-body connection Judson has taken from the works of Gabor Mate. The two then welcome the brilliant and hysterical actor and comedian Jeff Hiller, co-star of HBO’s “Somebody Somewhere” and author of the forthcoming memoir, “Actress of a Certain Age: My Twenty Year Trail to Overnight Success,” to the podcast. Jeff takes Judson and Brian through the laugh-out-loud highlights of his life and career, from his days as an STI and HIV pre- and post-test counselor in the Denver Public Health Department to his entry into the world of improv to the meeting of his husband to his breakout TV role. He shares sneak peeks into some of the stories included in his upcoming book, and lets them in on others that ended up on the cutting room floor. Jeff then joins Judson and Brian in responding to a listener’s Go Ask Your Dad question seeking advice about how to engage his husband in a conversation about kickstarting their sex life that has fizzled over the years.   Preorder a signed copy of Jeff’s book, Actress of a Certain Age: My Twenty Year Trail to Overnight Success at https://www.strandbooks.com/actress-of-a-certain-age-my-twenty-year-trail-to-overnight-success-9781668031858.html   Dads and Daddies on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dadsanddaddiespod Dads and Daddies on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dadsanddaddiespod Dads and Daddies on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/dadsanddaddiespod.bsky.social

Judson puts a label on his relationship with Brian and reports on his experience Daddying a third alongside his husband. Brian recounts a magical night attending Jinkx Monsoon’s Carnegie Hall debut and shares the highlights of his family’s trip to Puerto Rico over the midwinter break. The two then examine how vanity manifests for so much of the gay male community, and what it will take to answer the question Judson poses: “When will you look in the mirror and feel great?” Judson and Brian close the episode by responding to a Go Ask Your Dad question from two dads who find it challenging to transition from the stress of parenting by day to being sexual partners at night.

Judson and Brian compare Valentine’s Day plans and reflect on their first Valentine’s Day dinners with their now-husbands. They then share the news about their second live show and first Dads and Daddies party on Friday, March 28, at the Cockpit in Hell’s Kitchen, New York City. Judson recounts an emotional week at work, having survived a significant round of layoffs, and Brian describes his week of multiple misfires on the apps. The two then tell each other their stories of the biggest breakups they’ve experienced, the closest they’ve ever come to breaking up with their husbands, what it would take for them to get divorced, and discuss getting out of relationships at the right time. This week’s Go Ask Your Dad question comes from a couple new to playing with thirds who are wondering if there is an issue with kicking off their interactions with a drink and a chat.

Judson and Brian compare how they are attempting to find balance and peace in unsteady times and provide updates about how they were each happily surprised this week by some unexpected playtime. Brian talks about time spent with his kids before getting on his soapbox about the unrealistic expectations for parents set by the cartoon show "Bluey." The two then explore the concept of "friends with benefits"—how they define it, whether any of their current friendships fall into that category, how friends with benefits work in open relationships, and whether they have friendships now they'd like to turn into friends with benefits. On the theme of friends, Judson and Brian end by taking a "Go Ask Your Dad" question about how to navigate the end of queer friendships, particularly when they exist within a larger circle of friends.

Brian and Judson compare notes: first, on masturbation–how frequently they do it, why they do it, and when–and, second, on how frustrating the logistics of hookups can be, particularly if they take place in New Jersey. Brian then looks to Judson for guidance on making hookups happen that include his husband, and what ‘playing together’ looks like in Judson’s marriage. They end with a Go Ask Your Dad question from a listener whose bisexual husband wants permission to have sex with a female friend, knowing they would have to keep it secret from her husband.

Judson recounts a perplexing dream, and Brian shares news of his renewed sexual activity. They gush over the return of "Severance" before welcoming "Big Brother" icon Will Wikle, whose diverse career spans mainstream entertainment, sex work, and now psychiatry, having opened his own practice, Peace Park Psychiatry. Will regales them with a series of incredible stories, including a lucrative escorting experience, how self-love is handled on "Big Brother,” and the support he received from Julie Chen after his eviction. He also seeks their advice on navigating Daddy/Son dynamics and sex parties. Finally, Will joins Judson and Brian in answering a listener's "Go Ask Your Dad" question about pursuing a sexual relationship within a friend group while respecting each couple’s open relationship boundaries.

Brian recounts his first week of recovery from his lower eyelid surgery and hears Judson’s perspective on their trip to Sephora with Brian’s kids. Judson shares a lovely Daddy/Son experience and talks about how he navigates some of the challenges of a corporate job. The two then talk kissing–from their first kisses to practicing on their pillows to what makes a good kisser to how much more there is than lip-kissing. They end with Judson reaching into his own experience to address a listener's question about how to rebuild trust in his relationship after learning his partner has begun experimenting with crystal meth

Brian’s nine year-old asks the big question. Judson spreads the word about the Instagram purchase that has changed his life. The two chat about some of the latest TV they’re obsessing over. Judson and Brian then dive deep into an exploration of intimacy–with their husbands, with their friends and with their hookups.This week’s episode ends with a Go Ask Your Dad question that asks our Dad and Daddy to provide a more thorough explanation for the term “sex positive.”

Brian celebrates his first rave review on The Blowers, and Judson details his experience of the “Solid Gold” exhibit at the Brooklyn Museum. The two then welcome to the podcast the inimitable JIMBO the Drag Clown, winner of RuPaul’s Drag Race All-Stars Season 8 and current star of Drag the Musical off-Broadway. JIMBO talks about his journey from behind-the-scenes artisan to realizing his dream of starring in a musical, his family life with his partner and two stepkids, his education as a clown and how it brought him to drag, the support of his mom, and how a sex-themed office party he attended as a child inspired his looks today. JIMBO also expresses the shock of his first time being called ‘Daddy,’ his feelings around competing with Pamela Anderson for Madonna’s attention, and recounts the story of how he came to be in possession of his prized Madonna memento. He then helps Judson and Brian respond to a Go Ask Your Dad question from a listener who feels lost about how he fits into the gay dating ecosystem.

Happy Birthday to Judson! After a mini birthday party for everyone’s favorite Daddy, Judson and Brian also celebrate the 13th anniversary of Brian’s first date with his now-husband and the first anniversary of the text exchange between Judson and Brian that resulted in this podcast. The two compare notes on their New Year’s Day polar plunge experiences and share their personal growth goals that the Earth’s most recent rotation around the Sun has inspired them to think about. Judson then chronicles some of his hookups from the holiday break before the two respond to a Go Ask Your Dad question from a demisexual listener asking for help setting boundaries with hookups to avoid them catching feelings for him.

Judson laments having missed an opportunity to have a chance encounter with Luigi Mangione. Brian reflects on the past year and how it has changed him and his relationship. The two are then joined by adult content creator Guy Woof. Guy talks to Judson and Brian about his crush on John Oliver, his transition from locksmith to porn performer, the business behind having sex on camera, and finding success on OnlyFans.  Guy also details attempts to make actual dates on the dating apps and compares notes with Judson and Brian on how they each experience the need for validation. Guy then joins them in addressing a Go Ask Your Dad question from a listener who wonders why Judson and Brian so often describe the sex they have with their husbands as hooking up.

Judson tells Brian about the night he invited a hookup to stay for dinner, and how it evolved into a beautiful sharing of grief. Brian shares a story about a hookup that went against most of his own rules, in what he views as a culmination of a year of learnings from Judson. They are then joined by award-winning porn actor and social media star Jonah Wheeler. Jonah talks about the “enthusiastic and joyful” vibe of the content he creates, his dominant-yet-caring Daddy persona, the origin of the Jonah Wheeler character, and the on-set challenges that make him love his job. Jonah also explains how his identity evolves across various social media platforms, how tough it can be to feel inspired in the current political environment, and what it’s like to court negative discourse as a public figure. Jonah then helps Judson and Brian address a Go Ask Your Dad question from a couple who are having trouble making penetrative sex happen after trying every possible solution.

Recorded on December 13, it’s Brian’s birthday! Brian describes his plans to celebrate, which exhausts Judson just by hearing them listed out. Judson shares a glowing review for Ricardo Tavares’ bathhouse-based “Morning Glory” sex party, which led to one of Judson’s top 3 hookups of 2024. The two compare stories of “setting traps” on the apps. They then welcome comedian Sam Morrison to the podcast and cover the target age demographic for his comedy, discrimination by sex party promoters, the struggles we each face with our bodies, Sam’s theory about Daddy Bears, and the challenges he’s facing being in a monogamous long-distance relationship. This week’s Go Ask Your Dad question comes from a listener feeling envious of his partner when he realizes that their newly opened relationship is proving to be uneven in terms of the opportunity they each have for hooking up.

Judson and Brian commiserate over sudden end-of-year demands at work and compare notes on the time they will spend with family over the holidays, including how they each set (or try to set) the necessary boundaries. Judson then educates Brian on the concept of “fraysexuality” before welcoming writer, performer, curator and creator/host of the podcast “Giants in the Sky,” Ben Rimalower, to the show.  Ben gets personal about his first-time boyfriend, balancing his desire for a relationship versus the autonomy of his single days, his struggles over the years with body image, his evolution into Daddyhood, and staying inspired in the face of a political regime he’s fought against for years. He then joins Judson and Brian in responding to a Go Ask Your Dad question from a listener who identifies as a top in a relationship with another top who wants to approach opening their relationship so they can both get their sexual needs met, but is coming up against his partner’s view of open relationships as unethical.

Judson and Brian catch up on the Thanksgiving preparations in Brian’s home, compare family rules to keep Sondheim out of Sundays and show tunes away from the dinner table, and recap their experiences recording their first live show.  They then discuss the various iterations of family in their lives - the biological families they grew up with, their nuclear families now, and their chosen, or logical, families. For this week’s Go Ask Your Dad, a listener who identifies as an active member of the leather/kink/bear community asks for advice on how to respond to people who approach him online with desires which he feels exposes the fact that they may be putting themselves in unsafe situations.

It’s Judson and Brian’s first live show! Recorded at The Cockpit downstairs at Daniel Nardicio’s Redeye NY, a towel-clad Judson and Brian chat about Judson’s 7th anniversary off crystal meth, Brian’s elder daughter’s 9th birthday party, and reviews of Anora, Wicked, and the Broadway musical version of Death Becomes Her before welcoming one of the most influential forces in queer culture, David Lauterstein, to the podcast.  Co-founder and CEO of the iconic fashion brand Nasty Pig and author of the newly-released memoir Sodomy Gods, David joins Judson and Brian to talk about 30 years of championing sex positivity, the potential for sharing queer generational knowledge, concerns about the LGBTQ+ community fragmenting, and demystifying the blockers keeping one from pursuing their dreams. David then helps Judson and Brian answer a series of Go Ask Your Dad questions submitted by people in the audience, including one about introducing Daddy/Son roleplay into a relationship where both members feel more like a Daddy than a Son.

Judson and Brian alternately celebrate and lament the actual arrival of fall as Brian prepares for the coming season of birthdays and holidays in his household, including a fashion show-themed slumber party for his 9-year-old, and Judson prepares for his father’s celebration of life. They then dive deep into an exploration of the ins, outs, highs, and lows of hooking up with men who are not their husbands, from the challenges of making a hookup happen to the importance (or not) of face pics to the inevitable flaking and ghosting, to how they share their hookup experiences with their husbands. They end by addressing a listener's question about whether one can be a Daddy from any position other than top.

Judson and Brian recap their initial reactions to the election results, including Brian’s escape to the new Broadway musical Maybe Happy Ending and the new movie A Real Pain. Judson shares the music, TV show, and book getting him through the week. They then move into a deeper exploration of Self-Care. They discuss what Self-Care means and looks like for each of them, from finding pursuits that fulfill their needs to be of service, to feel valuable, and to be creative to Judson’s daily practice of “The Palm” – the five categories of activity he needs to accomplish each day to feel whole. They end with a Go Ask Your Dad question from a listener who considers himself monogamous but has fallen for someone who does not practice monogamy.

Recorded this past March (don’t worry, Judson is back on the apps by now), Judson and Brian chat about taking fashion cues from younger generations, making sex efficient, parents’ influence over their kids’ tastes, and go deep into the myth that gay men with money are entirely self made. They explore how each approaches financial responsibilities as married gay men, the relationship between gay identity and consumerism, and respond to a listener question about when to bring up the desire to have kids during the early stages of dating.

Judson shares some very personal news before moving into a recap of his recent trip to Las Vegas. Judson and Brian are then joined by award-winning playwright, author and performer Isaac Oliver. Isaac gives the two a sneak peek into his exciting projects–the upcoming Broadway musical ‘Just In Time’ starring Jonathan Groff, for which he’s co-writing the book, and the upcoming TV series, ‘Etoile,’ Amy Sherman-Palladino’s follow-up to ‘The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel,’ which he describes as a workplace comedy set in the world of Ballet, and on which he is a writer. The three then discuss the virtues of sex workers, the difference between sensual and erotic massage, and Judson and Brian’s recent discovery of the oral sex-forward hookup app, TheBlowers.  They then move into a Halloween-inspired sharing of Hookup Horror Stories–their own, and some submitted by listeners. They end by providing very different but complementary answers to a Go Ask Your Dad question from a listener looking for tips to improve their oral sex techniques.