Daily Boost Motivation and Coaching

My friend Sid called to tell me he had found his next big thing. He decided to take flying lessons and couldn't wait to get started. After hearing my Mom's stories over the years, I have always wanted to learn to fly. Her father was a contractor in Wilmington, North Carolina. When an airport client couldn't pay, he offered lessons. She was 15 years old. Her stories of landing on the beaches of North Carolina were thrilling. Flying solo before an arriving hurricane was captivating. We'll forget that she 3-days short of being legally old enough. Her adventurous spirit took control. With a hurricane coming, she wasn't going to ask for permission. She took command, and it put her in the record books. By the time I began flying 50 years later, things were more controlled, and speaking on the radio to Air Traffic Control was required - and challenging. Being nervous, I often asked for permission when I wanted to do something. I would say, "This is Cessna 67508 requesting permission to…" One day, while waiting for their response, my instructor taught me a lesson I could have learned from my Mom, "You're the Pilot in Command. Your seat is moving, and theirs isn't. Don't ask for permission. Tell them what you want and let them work it out." What?  I don't have to ask for anyone's permission to do what I want.  I never asked again, in flying or anything else in life. I decide what I want to do and do it. If somebody else needs to know what I'm up to, I tell them, work out the solution, and keep moving. If not, I keep moving. Some days, it feels like we need permission from everybody else. Don't fall into that trap. Your destiny is your choice and yours alone. And what happened to Sid? He asked his wife for permission, and she said "no." He never took a single lesson. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

One thing that I'm always going to do is refine my morning routine — it's a never-ending process.  You hear a lot about using morning rituals to get more done. But what if you could use your mornings to get more done for YOU? In the fast-paced world we live in today, there seem to be two groups when it comes to how to use mornings — personal and productive. Once folks remove themselves from the craziness of jumping out of bed, taking care of the kids, and hitting the drive-through, they choose one of the two.  But what if there was a third group that was more satisfying? Before I go on, I must admit that I was not a morning person and didn't like getting up early. I even quit my first couple of jobs as a morning radio host so I could sleep.  Later in my career, I would hit my desk at 5 AM and pound through my to-do list as fast as possible. I must have been saying, "I…MUST… GET… IT… DONE!" That didn't work well because I didn't see the purpose of getting out of bed early if it was only to work. For a few years, I spent my mornings reading and meditating before heading to the gym. I got in better shape, but my bank balance was less, and my future goals were seemingly unreachable. Then, one day, out of pure frustration and sporting a brand-new I don't give a heck attitude, I asked myself a question that changed everything - "What's the first thing I should do tomorrow morning that, if I do, will allow me to live a life of my design?" I didn't ask about work or what was on my to-do list. It had nothing to do with getting more done or getting in better shape. I focused on the lifestyle I wanted to live - and it was life-changing. In the years since I made that decision, I've started my days doing the most important thing I deem required to live the life of my choosing, and I've been happier for it. I've also come across dozens of morning do-gooders who are getting everything done except what they dream of doing, and when they realize it's not their fault, everything changes. They get caught up in the buzz of life, and everyone does. But you start making real progress the minute you focus on YOU before anything else. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Over the years, I've witnessed dozens of people set themselves up for failure by following seemingly wise advice - "When you set a goal, make it public and tell everybody you know so they can support you." In my experience, that could have worked better - especially on long-term goals. The reason is that nobody outside my close relationships knows me well enough to understand why I'm doing what I'm doing. That makes it challenging to provide support in meaningful ways, difficult for me to accept, and unneeded pressure on everybody. It takes little thinking to realize the best accountability relationship needs to be based on respect and a sincere connection to have the most impact. That means there is no need to crowd-source accountability when you only need two people to keep you on track. The first partner is the one you listen to the most - YOU! Accepting responsibility for your accountability is the most potent skill you own.  But since you are the boss of YOU and don't always listen to yourself, you need somebody else you trust and respect who is willing to call you out on your stuff. Once they agree, let them do their job. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Creating a difference in your life is a non-stop process that requires simple actions to help you get what you want. And it is, after all, about getting what you want and keeping what you love. You’ll always go through these steps: 1) Decide. Everything begins with your decision to head off in a new direction. While sometimes you may feel like you’ve made a decision, if you’re not moving, you haven’t. 2) Define. Aimless wandering is fun when that’s what you’ve decided to do. Otherwise, it’s frustrating, exhausting, and takes place more than you think. When you define your path, you get to walk your path. 3) Deploy. As dull as the advice may be, putting your plan into action is the only way to get what you want. If you don’t deploy, you don’t get it. 4) Defend. After working hard to get what you want, you can guarantee that something or somebody will try to take away your results. That’s not good or bad. That’s life. When you find what you love, defend it so you never lose it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’ve noticed in my life that humans are hoarders when it comes to keeping stuff that works and doesn’t.  They keep hanging on; their life depends on it. Now, before I go on, I think there are two situations at play here: 1) Hanging on to what has worked well but needs to go so you can do more of what you want to do. 2) Hanging on what doesn’t work in hopes that it will work well someday. Both can go on for years, leading to frustration as you long for something else.  I was on the phone with a client this morning, and we ran into that situation. We began dealing with it a few months ago, and it’s still rearing its ugly head in her life.  After exploring it from every angle— Should I keep it? Should I put it to the side and come back to it? Should I toss it and start over? Should I… should I… should I. I finally said the only thing that came to mind - “The mere fact that you keep questioning it tells me you want to drop it. You’re just worried about what comes next, which is strange because what’s next is what you want.  Let me ask a question— How would you feel if you dropped everything holding you back and woke up in the morning with a clean slate and ready to move?” She smiled. You know, with that almost embarrassed look that people get when they can’t pretend anymore. She was busted, and she knew it. That’s when she said— “I’m not going to lie. That would feel great!” We had a “moment,” and everything changed. I suggested a 30-day cooling-off period, but with the understanding that she is moving forward and not backward. A few hours later, she sent me a note. It said, “I don’t need 30 days. Thanks.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Every day, we all jump into the craziness of life with little thought to the basic rules we use to run our day.  Here are a few of mine. You can borrow them if you would like: 1) Do what makes your heart sing. You'll always feel better when you are dancing down your path. 2) Believe anything is possible. As soon as you believe - everything IS possible. 3) Be nice to others. Expect them to do the same. No further explanation is required. 4) Believe in people and encourage their dreams. When you do, they'll return the favor. 5) Do the right thing. If you mess up, say you're sorry, try again.  6) Meet people where they are in their lives and walk with them to where you both want to go. 7) Do what you say you will do. It's always better to under-promise and over-deliver.  8) Make lemonade out of lemons. Everything is fixable if you have the right mindset. 9) Keep things simple. Yup. 10) Relax. Life is short. Double yup. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Gift of Making a Decision As we approach the most spiritual time of year, I find more and more of my thoughts are focused on what my future will bring. But instead of drafting a list of goals, my mind seems to settle into a different place— What if I could give myself a gift that instantly gives me what I want? What if I don't have to chase my dreams and start living them instead? What if there was nothing in my way - ever? While that way of thinking may seem out of touch today, it's not. It happens daily for millions of people worldwide, and it can happen to you, too. Here's a simple truth— Everything changes instantly and, very likely, forever when you decide.  If you hate your job and decide to quit, everything changes. Everything changes instantly if you decide you need space for yourself, turn your phone off, and walk in the woods. If you say "Yes" to yourself and "No" to others more often, your experience changes. I could go on forever, but I don't need to. If you've been alive for any time, you understand that you are only stuck until you decide not to be stuck. Once you make that decision, you are moving again. That's life. Is it easy? Are there limitations? Are there consequences?  Maybe, but many of them are good!  The point is that any directional change in your life is possible when you decide to recalculate your path. So this year, why not give yourself the gift of considering the possibility that the only thing standing in your way is you? If that's the case, why not get out of your way and do what you say you want to do? Yes, I know you may not know what to do. Yes, I know you may not know how to do it. Yes, I know you may be wondering how your life will be. All of that is true.  But you know that you want something different? Do you know what's not working? Do you know what you don't want in your life? That should be all the motivation you need to go for your dreams. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why Slow is Fast and Fast is Slow. I was riding my Harley-Davidson Road King a few days ago when my mind suddenly thought - “The Chinese Philosophical concept of Yin and yang describes how opposite or contrary forces may be complementary, interconnected, and interdependent in the natural world.” What? What? Huh? It happened right before the Daytona Speedway and got me thinking about the advice I give my clients about slowing down. It goes like this - “You must slow down to get what you want.” Advice like that is why I get the big bucks for what I do. No, not really. I get paid because nobody believes me, and it’s up to me to prove it. Let’s go riding. Whenever I’m cruising on my motorcycle, I love it fast and loud, making me smile. That’s the Yin of riding a bike, but you can only go fast and loud for so long before the light turns red in front of you or blue behind you.   Occasionally, the place you are speeding toward gets congested, and you have no choice but to slow down. But when you are a high-performance machine designed to go fast, slowing down can be challenging - especially on a 900-pound Harley.  That’s where the Zin of riding a motorcycle comes into play. Slowing down is the opposite of fast, yet it can yield the same result - if you know what you are doing. Whether it’s your life or a motorcycle, success requires precision control. If you get it right and trust yourself and your machine, you will continue to make progress.  On a motorcycle… 1) Slow down but keep moving. Never stop. 2) Rev your engine so that you always have power to your wheels. 3) Since the motorcycle wants to go faster, pull the clutch into the friction zone between nothing and everything while putting your foot on the rear brake. What? Slow down? Rev your engine? Hit the brakes? Yes. That combination virtually assures that you keep moving forward in any situation, in full control, until it’s time to open it up again. That same thing happens in life. You can’t run full out all the time, and sometimes you must stop. You keep moving forward for everything else in between, no matter how slow you go. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Expectations in Love And Everything When I first met my wife, Joi, I knew we would be married and live happily ever after. But there was a problem. Joi didn’t see it that way - at least not right away. If life has taught me anything, almost nobody is on the same page when they first meet. We might be in the same book but not on the same page.  In the early weeks of our relationship, I was in full-on action mode and on a mission to achieve my goal as quickly as possible. I was also frustrated since Joi didn’t share my urgency. She was enjoying our relationship and in no hurry. One day, I decided to take action - I dragged myself out of bed at 4:30 AM, drove 30 minutes, and waited for Joi to arrive at the gym. I met her when she stepped out of her car, nearly scaring her to death, and said, “I love you. What do I have to do to catch you? We should…”  Stopped by a kiss, she said, “We’ll know in about 6 months. Let’s enjoy the ride.” It wasn’t the answer I sought, but Joi had given me something even more powerful. She gave me an expectation; I knew her rules and how to play the game, and I knew she was right.  All romantic, friendship, or professional relationships follow the same path. There is an initial spark, a period of trust-building, and commitment. In time, the relationship grows stronger or will fade. Time will tell. That’s how it works and how it went for us. Exactly 6 months later, I asked Joi to marry me, and she said yes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Exploring Your Possibilities What do I want to be when I grow up?  The first time you ask yourself that question is when you are very young - if you ever asked it at all. Frankly, somebody else usually asks you, and you probably don't have an answer, so you just take off running with this thing called life.  And then it happens — Forty or fifty years later, people start asking themselves that question again after a family and career. The smart ones in the crowd don’t wait either; they question who they are right now. It can be a scary time. If you are looking for a change in your life, here are a few things to understand— You can't move forward by hanging on to what you have. Remember, you get more of what you focus on in your life. If you focus on what you are giving up, you'll get more. Instead, you must focus on the unknown future and look for clues about what you will do. I call the process "Exploring Your Possibilities. Imagine if anything is possible and there is no limitation or consequence. There is no commitment required, and money doesn't matter. Time has no impact. None of that matters because once you stumble upon what you want, you will have arrived, and everything will be forever different. How do you make this happen? The secret is to put the brake on what you are doing while you seek new adventures. It will take time to find a good fit, so you'll have to ensure you stay in your old ways. Please don’t do it, no matter how comfortable it may feel, to get back in your comfort zone. Pump the brakes. Hold the space you've created. Explore your possibilities, and let life unfold in front of you. It may take time to happen. Then again, maybe it won't. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Wouldn't it be great if you received the gift of a wonderful life this year?   What if you could have lots of free time, less stress, more money, and great relationships?   In my years of coaching folks all over the world, I've learned a few things about lifestyle design: 1) It all begins when you become aware of what you want and accept that it's up to you. 2) It would be best to believe your dreams could be real as soon as you start living them. 3) You are the Boss of you, so there's no reason for a delay. Stop planning and start doing. Forget wishing, hoping, and dreaming. Start with little bits of happiness and work toward living your dream daily. Time will take care of everything else. Living a wonderful life is entirely up to you. Be aware of the desired change; believe it can be yours, and start living it now.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happy Thanksgiving! These days, most folks don't remember what Thanksgiving is all about - other than big sales all over Amazon. The Pilgrims celebrated the first Thanksgiving after a successful harvest in October 1621. The feast lasted three days. The federal holiday began in 1863 when President Abraham Lincoln proclaimed a national day of "Thanksgiving."   Thanksgiving is about being grateful. I think a statement from Stoic Philosopher Epictetus is fitting,  "He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has." Today and every day, let's make it "Thanks-Living" day. Eat well, nap, watch football, and embrace your family and friends.   Joi and I are thankful that you allow us into your life. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

With a new year almost upon us, it’s time to crank up those 2025 goals. One of the most natural methods of achieving success is to stick to tried and true. That doesn’t mean you can’t move toward something more meaningful. It means that you forgo new knowledge and skills and leverage what you already understand. No-brainer success assumes: 1) You already have experience and wisdom. You will learn any new skill if, and only if needed.   2) You will choose the path of least resistance. The goal is to get the results you want in the fastest period. No distractions. No zig-zagging.  3) Overthinking burns too many brain calories. If you are confused and stuck, accept that you may need to reevaluate your plan. Do it fast. Human nature will compel you to clutter your success journey with distraction. Seek the direct route to the results you want. It’s a no-brainer. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever found yourself stuck in the middle? I was speaking with a client who was trying to be everything to everybody. His business was not growing. His life was not happy. He couldn’t seem to find a way to make progress.   That’s when I said… “My friend, you are stuck in the middle. Nothing good happens when you are in the middle.” In business and life, it’s okay to have a low expectation and be surrounded by like-minded folks.  It’s also okay to reach for your dreams, have high expectations, and expect that of others. What happens if you’re in the middle? When low and high expectations combine, confusion is the result. Mediocrity overtakes quality. Frustration will be your daily friend. The choice is yours. If I were you, I would make the decision never to get stuck in the middle. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Your best life is built sequentially, one level at a time. Forget the elevator, climb all the stairs to the top, and you’ll have lasting success. In 1954, Abraham Maslow released Motivation and Personality. His Hierarchy of needs theory is all about climbing to the top. Maslow suggested that to reach your full potential: 1) You must provide for your physiological needs: food, clothing, shelter, money, and more.   2) You must feel safe. Personally, emotionally, financially, with health and well-being, and against accidents and illness. 3) Socially you need to feel a sense of loving and belonging.  4) Esteem and the desire for acceptance, respect, and value by others is your next step. Maslow said, “What a man can be, he must be.” Self-actualization requires mastery of your previous needs. 5) Self-transcendence removes you from ego and begins your focus on the greater good. Your best life is built sequentially one level at a time. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices