Dateable AF Show Notes:Meet Rachel Howell and Dr. Sarah KyleProducer: Jordan Cannon & Shelly Silvey GrabeTheme Song: Cade KyleCover Photo: Mackenzie MowatDateable AF is a podcast about all things lesbian dating—or queer dating—or women-who-date-women dating. Whatever letter you vibe with, if you're a woman who dates women, this one's for you.Hosted by two longtime friends, this show dives into the wild, wonderful, and often WTF world of dating women—with honesty, humor, and zero shame. Expect smart takes, relatable stories, and the occasional U-Haul reference.If your last argument had more plot twists than a Netflix thriller… this episode is for you.In “Fight Right: How to Argue Without Burning the House Down,” Sarah and Rachel break down what healthy conflict actually looks like and why most of us were never taught how to do it. Fighting is not a relationship failure. But how you fight determines whether you walk away feeling closer, clearer, or completely disconnected.In this episode, we cover: 🔥 Why you fight the way you do Family patterns, nervous-system reactions, queer identity, culture, and past trauma all shape your conflict style.🧠 What fair fighting really means Staying on one topic, fighting the issue instead of the person, and keeping connection in mind even when you’re frustrated.📋 The 7 Fair-Fighting Rules Including: • Use “I” statements • Stay in the moment • Take breaks before you break down • Stop mind reading • Own your part • Seek understanding, not victory • Repair, repair, repair🚩 Red flags inside arguments Weaponized silence, scorekeeping, dragging in third parties, threats, and emotional escalation.🌈 Why conflict looks different in queer relationships Fusion, shared friend groups, uneven emotional labor, identity dynamics, and the pressure to avoid conflict at all costs.💛 How to calm a fight in real time Slow the pace, stay seated, use agreed-upon signals, and remember: “We’re on the same team.”💭 Discussion Prompts• What is one thing you want to change about the way you fight? • Where did that behavior come from? • Which fair-fighting rule do you want to practice this week?Send your questions or stories to @dateableaf or info@dateableaf.com — we may feature them on AFterparty!💌 Thanks for listening to the Dateable AF Podcast, where we help you find your happy ending. Be bold, be kind, and for the love of queer dating — don’t text your ex. Stay Dateable AF!HANDFUL Bras to get your 30% discount use code DATEABLEAF
Dateable AF Show Notes:Meet Rachel Howell and Dr. Sarah KyleProducer: Jordan Cannon & Shelly Silvey GrabeTheme Song: Cade KyleCover Photo: Mackenzie MowatDateable AF is a podcast about all things lesbian dating—or queer dating—or women-who-date-women dating. Whatever letter you vibe with, if you're a woman who dates women, this one's for you.Hosted by two longtime friends, this show dives into the wild, wonderful, and often WTF world of dating women—with honesty, humor, and zero shame. Expect smart takes, relatable stories, and the occasional U-Haul reference.If your last argument had more plot twists than a Netflix thriller… this episode is for you.In “Fight Right: How to Argue Without Burning the House Down,” Sarah and Rachel break down what healthy conflict actually looks like and why most of us were never taught how to do it. Fighting is not a relationship failure. But how you fight determines whether you walk away feeling closer, clearer, or completely disconnected.In this episode, we cover: 🔥 Why you fight the way you do Family patterns, nervous-system reactions, queer identity, culture, and past trauma all shape your conflict style.🧠 What fair fighting really means Staying on one topic, fighting the issue instead of the person, and keeping connection in mind even when you’re frustrated.📋 The 7 Fair-Fighting Rules Including: • Use “I” statements • Stay in the moment • Take breaks before you break down • Stop mind reading • Own your part • Seek understanding, not victory • Repair, repair, repair🚩 Red flags inside arguments Weaponized silence, scorekeeping, dragging in third parties, threats, and emotional escalation.🌈 Why conflict looks different in queer relationships Fusion, shared friend groups, uneven emotional labor, identity dynamics, and the pressure to avoid conflict at all costs.💛 How to calm a fight in real time Slow the pace, stay seated, use agreed-upon signals, and remember: “We’re on the same team.”💭 Discussion Prompts• What is one thing you want to change about the way you fight? • Where did that behavior come from? • Which fair-fighting rule do you want to practice this week?Send your questions or stories to @dateableaf or info@dateableaf.com — we may feature them on AFterparty!💌 Thanks for listening to the Dateable AF Podcast, where we help you find your happy ending. Be bold, be kind, and for the love of queer dating — don’t text your ex. Stay Dateable AF!HANDFUL Bras to get your 30% discount use code DATEABLEAF
Dateable AF Show Notes:Rachel and Sarah discussing KissingProducer: Jordan Cannon & Shelly Silvey GrabeTheme Song: Cade KyleCover Photo: Mackenzie MowatDateable AF is a podcast about all things lesbian dating—or queer dating—or women-who-date-women dating. Whatever letter you vibe with, if you're a woman who dates women, this one's for you.Hosted by two longtime friends, this show dives into the wild, wonderful, and often WTF world of dating women—with honesty, humor, and zero shame. Expect smart takes, relatable stories, and the occasional U-Haul reference.If your last argument had more plot twists than a Netflix thriller… this episode is for you.In “Fight Right: How to Argue Without Burning the House Down,” Sarah and Rachel break down what healthy conflict actually looks like and why most of us were never taught how to do it. Fighting is not a relationship failure. But how you fight determines whether you walk away feeling closer, clearer, or completely disconnected.In this episode, we cover: 🔥 Why you fight the way you do Family patterns, nervous-system reactions, queer identity, culture, and past trauma all shape your conflict style.🧠 What fair fighting really means Staying on one topic, fighting the issue instead of the person, and keeping connection in mind even when you’re frustrated.📋 The 7 Fair-Fighting Rules Including: • Use “I” statements • Stay in the moment • Take breaks before you break down • Stop mind reading • Own your part • Seek understanding, not victory • Repair, repair, repair🚩 Red flags inside arguments Weaponized silence, scorekeeping, dragging in third parties, threats, and emotional escalation.🌈 Why conflict looks different in queer relationships Fusion, shared friend groups, uneven emotional labor, identity dynamics, and the pressure to avoid conflict at all costs.💛 How to calm a fight in real time Slow the pace, stay seated, use agreed-upon signals, and remember: “We’re on the same team.”💭 Discussion Prompts• What is one thing you want to change about the way you fight? • Where did that behavior come from? • Which fair-fighting rule do you want to practice this week?Send your questions or stories to @dateableaf or info@dateableaf.com — we may feature them on AFterparty!💌 Thanks for listening to the Dateable AF Podcast, where we help you find your happy ending. Be bold, be kind, and for the love of queer dating — don’t text your ex. Stay Dateable AF!HANDFUL Bras to get your 30% discount use code DATEABLEAF
Dateable AF Show Notes:Rachel and Sarah discussing Who is Queer?Producer: Jordan Cannon & Shelly Silvey GrabeTheme Song: Cade KyleCover Photo: Mackenzie MowatDateable AF is a podcast about all things lesbian dating—or queer dating—or women-who-date-women dating. Whatever letter you vibe with, if you're a woman who dates women, this one's for you.Hosted by two longtime friends, this show dives into the wild, wonderful, and often WTF world of dating women—with honesty, humor, and zero shame. Expect smart takes, relatable stories, and the occasional U-Haul reference.Telling who’s queer used to feel simple. Now half the straight women have undercuts and Doc Martens, and half the lesbians look like Peloton instructors. So… how do we actually know anymore?In this episode of Dateable AF, Sarah and Rachel break down the rebrand of gaydar and explore how queer people recognize each other in 2025. Because that moment when you clock someone across a room and your brain whispers “one of us” is not just magic. It’s psychology, culture, intuition, and a little community wisdom.We dig into: 🌈 A brief history of gaydar and how old signals (fashion, vibes, “friend of Dorothy” energy) evolved over time 📱 Digital gaydar in the TikTok/IG era, from hashtags to micro-aesthetics 🧠 The psychology of recognition and why we crave that “I see you” moment 🤷♀️ When gaydar fails — false alarms, femme invisibility, and modern etiquette 💗 The new markers of queer connection based on humor, energy, authenticity, and resonanceWe also share our own best gaydar fails, play a quick game of “Lesbian or just a country gal?”, and talk about how visibility, fluidity, and online culture made gaydar more complicated and more interesting.💭 Discussion PromptsWhen was the last time you just knew someone was queer?What are your strongest gaydar cues?What’s your funniest false-alarm story?💌 Thanks for listening to the Dateable AF Podcast, where we help you find your happy ending. Be bold, be kind, and for the love of queer dating — don’t text your ex.Stay Dateable AF. 💙HANDFUL Bras to get your 30% discount use code DATEABLEAF
Dateable AF Show Notes:Rachel and Sarah are traveling. Here is a revisit of a great show they had in Season 1- Lesbian Dating on the Apps: Where hope and Sanity go to die!Producer: Jordan Cannon & Shelly Silvey GrabeTheme Song: Cade KyleCover Photo: Mackenzie MowatDateable AF is a podcast about all things lesbian dating—or queer dating—or women-who-date-women dating. Whatever letter you vibe with, if you're a woman who dates women, this one's for you.Hosted by two longtime friends, this show dives into the wild, wonderful, and often WTF world of dating women—with honesty, humor, and zero shame. Expect smart takes, relatable stories, and the occasional U-Haul reference.Let’s talk about the kiss — that tiny moment that can make your whole world vibrate… or make you immediately regret life choices. 😬In this episode of Dateable AF, Sarah and Rachel get up close (but not too close) to explore why kissing matters so much — and how it can reveal way more about your connection than you think.💌 Thanks for listening to the Dateable AF Podcast, where we help you find your happy ending. Be bold, be kind, and for the love of queer dating — don’t text your ex.Stay Dateable AF. 💙HANDFUL Bras to get your 30% discount use code DATEABLEAF
Dateable AF Show Notes:Rachel and Sarah discussing SituationshipsProducer: Jordan Cannon & Shelly Silvey GrabeTheme Song: Cade KyleCover Photo: Mackenzie MowatDateable AF is a podcast about all things lesbian dating—or queer dating—or women-who-date-women dating. Whatever letter you vibe with, if you're a woman who dates women, this one's for you.Hosted by two longtime friends, this show dives into the wild, wonderful, and often WTF world of dating women—with honesty, humor, and zero shame. Expect smart takes, relatable stories, and the occasional U-Haul reference.Let’s talk about the kiss — that tiny moment that can make your whole world vibrate… or make you immediately regret life choices. 😬In this episode of Dateable AF, Sarah and Rachel get up close (but not too close) to explore why kissing matters so much — and how it can reveal way more about your connection than you think.💌 Thanks for listening to the Dateable AF Podcast, where we help you find your happy ending. Be bold, be kind, and for the love of queer dating — don’t text your ex.Stay Dateable AF. 💙HANDFUL Bras to get your 30% discount use code DATEABLEAF
Dateable AF Show Notes:Rachel and Sarah discussing KissingProducer: Jordan Cannon & Shelly Silvey GrabeTheme Song: Cade KyleCover Photo: Mackenzie MowatDateable AF is a podcast about all things lesbian dating—or queer dating—or women-who-date-women dating. Whatever letter you vibe with, if you're a woman who dates women, this one's for you.Hosted by two longtime friends, this show dives into the wild, wonderful, and often WTF world of dating women—with honesty, humor, and zero shame. Expect smart takes, relatable stories, and the occasional U-Haul reference.Let’s talk about the kiss — that tiny moment that can make your whole world vibrate… or make you immediately regret life choices. 😬In this episode of Dateable AF, Sarah and Rachel get up close (but not too close) to explore why kissing matters so much — and how it can reveal way more about your connection than you think.💌 Thanks for listening to the Dateable AF Podcast, where we help you find your happy ending. Be bold, be kind, and for the love of queer dating — don’t text your ex.Stay Dateable AF. 💙HANDFUL Bras to get your 30% discount use code DATEABLEAF
Dateable AF Show Notes:Rachel and Sarah discussing KissingProducer: Jordan Cannon & Shelly Silvey GrabeTheme Song: Cade KyleCover Photo: Mackenzie MowatDateable AF is a podcast about all things lesbian dating—or queer dating—or women-who-date-women dating. Whatever letter you vibe with, if you're a woman who dates women, this one's for you.Hosted by two longtime friends, this show dives into the wild, wonderful, and often WTF world of dating women—with honesty, humor, and zero shame. Expect smart takes, relatable stories, and the occasional U-Haul reference.Let’s talk about the kiss — that tiny moment that can make your whole world vibrate… or make you immediately regret life choices. 😬In this episode of Dateable AF, Sarah and Rachel get up close (but not too close) to explore why kissing matters so much — and how it can reveal way more about your connection than you think.We cover: 💋 Why kissing really matters — from the science of attraction and bonding to what it says about your relationship health. 🧠 The psychology + biology of kissing — how dopamine, oxytocin, and 80 million bacteria all play a role in that spark (or lack of it). ❤️ What makes a good kiss great — synchrony, safety, chemistry, and emotional attunement. 🚩 When kissing is a red flag — what a “meh” kiss can signal about compatibility, communication, or emotional distance. 🗣️ Technique, consent, and communication — why good kissing isn’t about moves, it’s about mutual energy and comfort. 💡 Practical takeaways:Make time for a “just because” kiss — no agenda.If kisses feel flat, ask, “What’s shifted between us?”Celebrate the small kisses; they keep connection alive.Because kissing isn’t just foreplay — it’s feedback. And when it’s good, it’s magic.💭 Discussion PromptsWhat’s the best kiss you’ve ever had — and what made it memorable?Have you ever noticed kissing losing its spark — what changed?How does kissing fit into your sense of intimacy or connection?Share your stories (anonymously if you’d like!) on Instagram or by email — your story might be featured in an upcoming AFterparty episode. 💌🎧 Next week: We’re diving into something special Stay tuned!💌 Thanks for listening to the Dateable AF Podcast, where we help you find your happy ending. Be bold, be kind, and for the love of queer dating — don’t text your ex.Stay Dateable AF. 💙HANDFUL Bras to get your 30% discount use code DATEABLEAF
Dateable AF Show Notes:Rachel and Sarah discussing KissingProducer: Jordan Cannon & Shelly Silvey GrabeTheme Song: Cade KyleCover Photo: Mackenzie MowatDateable AF is a podcast about all things lesbian dating—or queer dating—or women-who-date-women dating. Whatever letter you vibe with, if you're a woman who dates women, this one's for you.Hosted by two longtime friends, this show dives into the wild, wonderful, and often WTF world of dating women—with honesty, humor, and zero shame. Expect smart takes, relatable stories, and the occasional U-Haul reference.Let’s talk about the kiss — that tiny moment that can make your whole world vibrate… or make you immediately regret life choices. 😬In this episode of Dateable AF, Sarah and Rachel get up close (but not too close) to explore why kissing matters so much — and how it can reveal way more about your connection than you think.We cover: 💋 Why kissing really matters — from the science of attraction and bonding to what it says about your relationship health. 🧠 The psychology + biology of kissing — how dopamine, oxytocin, and 80 million bacteria all play a role in that spark (or lack of it). ❤️ What makes a good kiss great — synchrony, safety, chemistry, and emotional attunement. 🚩 When kissing is a red flag — what a “meh” kiss can signal about compatibility, communication, or emotional distance. 🗣️ Technique, consent, and communication — why good kissing isn’t about moves, it’s about mutual energy and comfort. 💡 Practical takeaways:Make time for a “just because” kiss — no agenda.If kisses feel flat, ask, “What’s shifted between us?”Celebrate the small kisses; they keep connection alive.Because kissing isn’t just foreplay — it’s feedback. And when it’s good, it’s magic.💭 Discussion PromptsWhat’s the best kiss you’ve ever had — and what made it memorable?Have you ever noticed kissing losing its spark — what changed?How does kissing fit into your sense of intimacy or connection?Share your stories (anonymously if you’d like!) on Instagram or by email — your story might be featured in an upcoming AFterparty episode. 💌🎧 Next week: We’re diving into something special Stay tuned!💌 Thanks for listening to the Dateable AF Podcast, where we help you find your happy ending. Be bold, be kind, and for the love of queer dating — don’t text your ex.Stay Dateable AF. 💙 HANDFUL Bras to get your 30% discount use code DATEABLEAF
Dateable AF Show Notes:Rachel and Sarah have another after party answering listeners questions. Producer: Jordan Cannon & Shelly Silvey GrabeTheme Song: Cade KyleCover Photo: Mackenzie MowatDateable AF is a podcast about all things lesbian dating—or queer dating—or women-who-date-women dating. Whatever letter you vibe with, if you're a woman who dates women, this one's for you.Hosted by two longtime friends, this show dives into the wild, wonderful, and often WTF world of dating women—with honesty, humor, and zero shame. Expect smart takes, relatable stories, and the occasional U-Haul reference.Episode 2 Rachel & Dr. Kyle explain Lesbian dating and the tendency to move in after the first date.A huge thanks to our sponsors and trailblazers at Shody Media LLC.
Dateable AF Show Notes: E2:E11Rachel and Sarah discuss Ethical Non-Monogamy (1)Producer: Jordan Cannon & Shelly Silvey GrabeTheme Song: Cade KyleCover Photo: Mackenzie MowatDateable AF is a podcast about all things lesbian dating—or queer dating—or women-who-date-women dating. Whatever letter you vibe with, if you're a woman who dates women, this one's for you.Hosted by two longtime friends, this show dives into the wild, wonderful, and often WTF world of dating women—with honesty, humor, and zero shame. Expect smart takes, relatable stories, and the occasional U-Haul reference.Contrary to popular belief, ethical non-monogamy isn’t a free-for-all — it’s more like a team project with a lot of Google Calendar invites. 🗓️✨In this episode of Dateable AF, Sarah and Rachel unpack what ethical non-monogamy (ENM) really means — and spoiler: it’s not just about sex. It’s about honesty, consent, emotional growth, and learning that love isn’t a limited resource.We cover: 💡 What ENM actually is — from open relationships and swinging to polyamory and relationship anarchy. 🚫 Common misconceptions — “It’s an excuse to cheat,” “ENM people don’t get jealous,” and “It never works long-term.” ❤️ Why people choose ENM — curiosity, freedom, emotional honesty, and yes, better communication. 🧭 Keys to making it work — radical honesty, emotional regulation, clear boundaries, and (you guessed it) Google Calendar. ⚠️ When it goes wrong — saying “yes” when you mean “maybe,” using ENM to avoid commitment, or forgetting empathy along the way. 🌈 Advice for the curious — how to explore the idea safely, talk it through, and decide if it’s actually for you.Because being open isn’t about loving more people — it’s about learning to love more honestly. 💖💭 Discussion PromptsOn a scale of 1–10, how open are you to the idea of non-monogamy?What parts of openness feel appealing — and what parts make you nervous?How do you define “honesty” and “boundaries” in your relationships?We love hearing your thoughts and stories — send them to us on Instagram or via email for a chance to be featured in our next AFterparty episode! 💌🎧 Next week: “Sealed with a Mess” — why kissing can be magic… or a total red flag.💌 Thanks for tuning in to the Dateable AF Podcast, where we help you find your happy ending. Be bold, be kind, and for the love of queer dating — don’t text your ex.Stay Dateable AF. 💙
Please check out all of our shows onshodymedia.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@shodymediaUse Promo Code "SHODYMEDIA" for all my deals or just click the link:Big Fork Brands: https://bigforkbrands.com/discount/SHODYMEDIACozy Earth: https://cozyearth.com/discount/SHODYMEDIA
Please check out all of our shows onshodymedia.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@shodymediaUse Promo Code "SHODYMEDIA" for all my deals or just click the link:Big Fork Brands: https://bigforkbrands.com/discount/SHODYMEDIACozy Earth: https://cozyearth.com/discount/SHODYMEDIA
Please check out all of our shows onshodymedia.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@shodymediaUse Promo Code "SHODYMEDIA" for all my deals or just click the link:Big Fork Brands: https://bigforkbrands.com/discount/SHODYMEDIACozy Earth: https://cozyearth.com/discount/SHODYMEDIA
Please check out all of our shows onshodymedia.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@shodymediaUse Promo Code "SHODYMEDIA" for all my deals or just click the link:Big Fork Brands: https://bigforkbrands.com/discount/SHODYMEDIACozy Earth: https://cozyearth.com/discount/SHODYMEDIA
Please check out all of our shows onshodymedia.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@shodymediaUse Promo Code "SHODYMEDIA" for all my deals or just click the link:Big Fork Brands: https://bigforkbrands.com/discount/SHODYMEDIACozy Earth: https://cozyearth.com/discount/SHODYMEDIA
Please check out all of our shows onshodymedia.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@shodymediaUse Promo Code "SHODYMEDIA" for all my deals or just click the link:Big Fork Brands: https://bigforkbrands.com/discount/SHODYMEDIACozy Earth: https://cozyearth.com/discount/SHODYMEDIA
Dateable AF Show Notes: E2:E10Rachel and Sarah discuss emotional micromanagement.Producer: Jordan Cannon & Shelly Silvey GrabeTheme Song: Cade KyleCover Photo: Mackenzie MowatDateable AF is a podcast about all things lesbian dating—or queer dating—or women-who-date-women dating. Whatever letter you vibe with, if you're a woman who dates women, this one's for you.Hosted by two longtime friends, this show dives into the wild, wonderful, and often WTF world of dating women—with honesty, humor, and zero shame. Expect smart takes, relatable stories, and the occasional U-Haul reference.If your “boundary” sounds more like a threat or a rule for someone else, it’s not a boundary — it’s emotional micromanagement. 💅In this episode of Dateable AF, Sarah and Rachel break down why so many people get boundaries wrong — and how to set ones that actually work. From the “revenge boundary” to over-explaining your limits, we’re diving into the messy middle between control and self-respect.We cover: 🧠 What a boundary really is — it’s not about controlling them, it’s about protecting you. 🚫 Why we get it wrong — childhood patterns, fear of being “mean,” and confusing limits with ultimatums. 💬 How to set boundaries that stick — identify the behavior, decide your action, communicate clearly, and follow through. 🔥 Real-life examples:“If you cancel last minute again, I’ll make other plans.”“If this topic keeps coming up, I’ll end the call.” 💔 Common backfires: over-explaining, expecting gratitude, or trying to “teach” someone a lesson. 💞 Boundaries in dating: why consistency builds trust and flexibility keeps it human.Because here’s the truth: a real boundary doesn’t control anyone else — it defines what you will do.💭 Discussion PromptsTalk with your partner about times you notice yourself trying to influence or control their behavior.Reframe it: How could you set a boundary for yourself instead?What’s one boundary you’ve been scared to enforce — and what would “follow-through” actually look like?Send us your thoughts for a chance to be featured in our next AFterparty episode — DM us on Instagram or email your story! 💌🎧 Next week: “Open for Business” — a discussion of ethical non-monogamy (and why it’s more about honesty than chaos).💌 Thanks for listening to the Dateable AF Podcast, where we help you find your happy ending. Be bold, be kind, and for the love of queer dating — don’t text your ex.Stay Dateable AF. 💙
Check out Shody Media's Newest Podcast Cord of Connection with Danielle Cobb!You can find Danielle Cobb on all of the Socials!