Dating Intentionally

How do you actually know if you’re in a healthy relationship? In this episode, I’m breaking down the four pillars I believe healthy relationships are built on: responsiveness, safety, freedom, and connection. We’ll talk about what each one actually looks like, where we tend to get it wrong, and how you can start building these qualities from the very beginning of dating.I'm getting into...What it really means to feel understood and cared for by your partnerWhy validation doesn’t mean agreeing with everything your partner saysHow to tell the difference between relationship safety and simply avoiding conflictWhy calm and steadiness aren’t signs that something is missingHow independence and freedom can actually strengthen your relationshipWhy your partner shouldn’t have to be your entire support systemHow small everyday “bids for connection” build intimacy over timeWhat to look for in early dating if you want to build a healthy long-term relationshipFour questions you can ask yourself to assess the health of your relationshipPlus, I answer a Dating Dilemma from a listener wondering whether she should give a promising connection more time or whether she’s already trying too hard to manage her way into compatibility.MENTIONED:Episode 244 on building inner securityTHANKS TO OUR SPONSORS😎 Zenni: Get 15% off your first order and free shipping on orders over $65MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLYDate Tracker: Start your 7-day free trial! (iOS link)Take the quiz: What's holding you back in dating?Say hi on InstagramBook a 1:1 with meSubmit a dating dilemmaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What if jealousy wasn’t a sign that something is wrong with you or your relationship, but an emotion you could actually learn from? In this episode, I’m talking with relationship coach Ally Iseman about why jealousy gets such a bad reputation, what it’s actually trying to tell us, and how to work through it without blaming your partner or shaming yourself.Ally breaks down the different types of jealousy, including insecurity, comparison, fear of abandonment, distrust, and retroactive jealousy, and explains why learning to tolerate discomfort is one of the most important relationship skills you can build.We’re getting into how to...The difference between jealousy and envyFigure out whether your jealousy is about you, your relationship, or something from your pastWhat to do when jealousy comes upWork through retroactive jealousyAsk your partner for reassurance without making them responsible for your emotionsHandle it when your partner is jealous of your pastUnderstand the difference between boundaries, rules, and relationship agreementsStop trying to force certainty or commitment before you actually know someoneBuild the relationship skills that help you navigate uncomfortable conversationsDecide what to do when the person you’re dating handles a situation in a way that completely turns you offPlus, Ally and I answer a dating dilemma from a listener who showed up to a museum and caught the guy she was seeing on a date with another woman after he told her he was sick.CONNECT WITH ALLYon InstagramTHANKS TO OUR SPONSORS😎 Zenni: Get 15% off your first order and free shipping on orders over $65MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLYDate Tracker: Start your 7-day free trial! (iOS link)Take the quiz: What's holding you back in dating?Say hi on InstagramSubmit a dating dilemmaBook a 1:1 with meSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Dating comes with a lot of frustrating uncertainty. You can’t know if attraction will grow, whether someone will choose the relationship, or how another person will react when you tell them the truth. In this special 300th episode of Dating Intentionally, I’m answering your dating dilemmas about what happens when you want certainty, but the situation simply can’t give it to you yet.We’re getting into four dating dilemmas:How long should you give someone to warm up physically when you’re tired of making the first move?What do you do when you’ve been telling little lies to make someone like you and now the relationship is getting more serious?Should you give a longtime friend a romantic chance when you’re not sure the attraction is there?How long do you wait when your partner says they need to “figure things out”?I’m talking about...Why trying to control the outcome can actually make dating harderHow to tell the difference between accepting someone’s pace and ignoring your own needsWhy self-worth can affect how honestly you show up when you really like someoneWhat to do when you’re curious about someone but don’t feel an immediate sparkWhy you don’t need to play out an entire relationship in your head before you’ve even gone on one dateWhat “figuring things out” should actually look like inside a relationshipHow to make dating decisions when you have no idea how the story will endAnd because this is episode 300, I’m ending with a rapid-fire Q&A covering questions like: What’s the most underrated green flag? How do you stop obsessing over someone after it ends? Should you give up if they cancel twice without rescheduling? How do you tell someone you don’t want to text all day? And how do you stay unbothered when you know the person you’re dating is seeing other people too?Submit a dating dilemmaTHANKS TO OUR SPONSORS😎 Zenni: Get 15% off your first order and free shipping on orders over $65MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLYDate Tracker: Start your 7-day free trial! (iOS link)Take the quiz: What's holding you back in dating?Say hi on InstagramBook a 1:1 with meSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What if dating felt less like a stressful search for your person and more like an experience you could actually enjoy? In this episode, I’m talking with Serena Kerrigan, creator and author of Let’s Fucking Date, about lowering the stakes in dating, stopping the need to control the outcome, and staying open to connections that don’t look exactly how you expected.Serena shares how meeting her boyfriend challenged her assumptions about age, success, and what the “right” partner should look like, plus the mindset shifts that helped her stop overmanaging her dating life and actually enjoy it.We’re getting into how to...Use Serena’s “potential, practice, or plot” framework to make every date feel worthwhileStop putting so much pressure on every first date to become somethingStay open to people who don’t fit the picture you had in your headTell the difference between showing interest and doing too muchGive someone enough space to actually reveal how interested they areLet go of control when dating feels uncertainGet out of your comfort zone when your dating life feels stagnantStop treating self-improvement like a formula that guarantees you a relationshipKnow when an “ick” is meaningful and when you might need to get a gripDate with a more abundant mindset when age and timelines are stressing you outTHANKS TO OUR SPONSORS😎 Zenni: Get 15% off your first order and free shipping on orders over $65MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLYDate Tracker: Start your 7-day free trial! (iOS link)Take the quiz: What's holding you back in dating?Say hi on InstagramSubmit a dating dilemmaBook a 1:1 with meSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Feel like you're done wasting time on the wrong connections? I get it! In this episode, I'm breaking down seven of the most common mistakes I see people make in early dating, from dating someone's potential and staying in situationships to taking constant dating breaks, avoiding uncomfortable conversations, and being pen pals. I'm also sharing what to do differently so you can protect your time and energy and get closer to the relationship you actually want.In this episode, you'll learn:Why dating someone's potential can keep you invested way too longHow staying in a situationship can delay you from finding your personWhy constantly taking breaks from dating may be slowing you down and what to work on insteadHow speaking up about small issues early can reveal someone's ability to handle conflictWhat it means to date from your "back foot" and why it's a time wasterWhy texting for weeks before meeting can create false intimacyHow to recognize red flags without confusing them with preferencesWhy getting curious about someone's behavior can help you make better decisions soonerHow to stay grounded in who someone is today instead of who you hope they'll becomePlus, I answer a dating dilemma from a 40-year-old man who just learned that his new girlfriend occasionally smokes cigarettes and he's not sure what to do.Ready to date with intention? Start your 7-day free trial of Date Tracker at thedatetracker.com! (iOS link)MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODEEp 260 - How to end a situationshipEp 186 - Tips for taking a dating breakEp 286 - Balancing effort in early datingEp 192 - Sneaky red flags in early datingTHANKS TO OUR SPONSORS😎 Zenni: Get 15% off your first order and free shipping on orders over $65MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLYSay hi on InstagramSubmit a dating dilemmaBook a 1:1 with meSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.