“As I walk through the valley of the shadow of the Fan, I take a look at my life and realize I need a tan.” Stand-up comedian Chris Martin does a komedy karoastie of Joe Hafkey August 1, 2011 at Cafe Diem Comedy Night in Richmond, VA. The occasion was Joe’s last open mic at Cafe Diem, which he ran for more than two years, before moving to Austin, Texas. Ray Bullock is the MC. Watch (compatible with iPad and Apple TV) Related articles Why no right wing comedians? (politics.ie)
“How old am I? I’m so old I thought Spotify was something that happened to your liver. I’m so old I can remember when Suicide Girls were a web site.” Stand-up comedian Chris Martin dispenses the wisdom of the aged July 18, 2011 at Cafe Diem Comedy Night in Richmond, VA. Josh Blubaugh is the MC. Watch
“It’s so hot in New York City that Kim Kardashian had an air conditioner implanted in her buttocks.” Stand-up comedian Chris Martin sweats the big stuff July 11, 2011 at the 9:55 Comedy Club’s open mic in Richmond, VA. Andrew Pauley is the MC. Watch (compatible with iPad and Apple TV Related articles Kris Humphries Planking While On Top Of Kim Kardashian & More! [Celebrity Twitterverse] (socialitelife.com) Hooters girl gets planked - trend dead? (copyranter.blogspot.com)
“I’m always nervous when I do stand-up – more nervous than Russell Crowe at a circumcision.” Stand-up comedian Chris Martin has some skin in the game July 6, 2011 at Cafe Diem Comedy Night in Richmond, VA. Andrew Pauley is the MC. Compatible with iPad and Apple TV. Watch
“John has got his finger in more pies than Kirstie Alley: sketch, stand-up and improv.” Stand-up comedian Chris Martin attends the last supper June 20, 2011 of MC John Reaves at Cafe Diem Comedy Night in Richmond, VA before John moves to New York City. Watch
“Steven Tyler doesn’t look so hot on ‘American Idol.’ In fact, death looks like Steven Tyler warmed over.” Stand-up comedian Chris Martin is American idle June 13, 2011 at the 9:55 Comedy Club open mic in Richmond, VA. Compatible with iPad and Apple TV. Watch
“They found Blackbeard’s anchor off the coast of North Carolina. However, they’re still searching for any originality in ‘Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Shores.’” Stand-up comedian Chris Martin gets arch and logical June 12, 2011 at the New York Deli Comedy Revue in Richmond, VA. Bill Metzger is the MC. Compatible with iPad and Apple TV. Watch Related articles Blackbeard’s anchor: A collection of shipwrecked pirate artifacts. (PHOTOS) (slate.com) Blackbeard’s Anchor Recovered off North Carolina [Pirates] (gawker.com) Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides- Featurette -Blackbeard, Zombies Mermaids (nelioguerson.wordpress.com) Blackbeard terrorized the high seas with scrap iron missiles [Pirate Archaeology] (io9.com) Major Booty Found: Blackbeard’s Anchor Recovered from Ocean (newsfeed.time.com)
“It’s good to be back in Colonial Heights. The last time I was here, I bombed so badly they changed the name of the town to Colonial Depths.” Stand-up comedian Chris Martin gets down with it May 19, 2011 at Benny’s Tavern in Colonial Heights, VA. MC is Jason Klingman. Compatible with iPad and Apple TV. Watch
“At a time when everyone is worried about earthquakes, is it really a good idea for Kirstie Alley to be on ’Dancing with the Stars’?” Stand-up comedian Chris Martin is not afraid to ask the hard questions May 11, 2011 at McCormack’s Irish Pub in Richmond, VA. Andrew Coalson is the MC. Compatible with iPad and Apple TV. Watch
“Bad news: Japan is now radioactive. The good news: the Japanese finally have something to do with all those lead toys China makes.” Stand-up comedian Chris Martin puts the active in radioactive May 9, 2011 at Cafe Diem Comedy in Richmond, VA. Ray Bullock is the MC. Video by Silver Persinger. Compatible with iPad and Apple TV. Watch
“The bad news: the baby seal hunting season has begun off the coast of Newfoundland. The good news: they’re using a more humane technique. They’re shaking the baby seals instead of clubbing them.” Chris Martin joins People for the Ethical Treatment of Stand-up Comedians at the 9:55 Comedy Club’s open mic May 2, 2011. Joshua Saucier is the MC. Watch (compatible with iPad and Apple TV)
“The Pillsbury Dough Boy celebrated his fifty-first birthday. Sadly, he never recovered from his molestation at the hands of the Michelin Man.” Stand-up comedian Chris Martin deflates brands April 27, 2011 at McCormack’s Irish Pub in Richmond, VA. Joe Hafkey is MC. Watch (compatible with iPad and Apple TV)
“Bad news: Japan glows in the dark. Good news: Sarah Palin can now see two countries from her porch.” Stand-up comedian Chris Martin goes Gilbert Gottfried April 19, 2011 at Strange Matter in Richmond, VA. John Reaves is the MC. Watch (compatible with iPad and Apple TV)
“Charlie Sheen has a nationwide tour called ‘The Violent Torpedo of Truth.’ Curiously, that was also my porn name.” Stand-up comedian Chris Martin reveals a sordid secret April 4, 2011 at the 9:55 Comedy Club open mic in Richmond, VA. Ray Bullock is the MC. Watch (compatible with iPad and Apple TV)
“The only way Charlie Sheen’s tour could be more over the top: if he had tag-team wrestling between Zsa Zsa Gabor and Anthony Robles. I knew that joke didn’t have a leg to stand on.” Stand-up comedian Chris Martin gets off on the wrong foot March 23, 2011 at McCormack’s Irish Pub in Richmond, VA. Jesse Jarvis is the MC. Watch (compatible with iPad and Apple TV)
“The bad news: tsunami hits Japan. The good news: swirlies are on the house.” MC John Reaves bestows the Too-Soon Award on stand-up comedian Chris Martin March 14, 2011 at Cafe Diem Comedy Night in Richmond, VA. Watch (compatible with iPad and Apple TV)
“Charlie Sheen is the new Dorian Gray. I tried to get a transfusion of Tiger blood but he kept hitting me with his golf club.” Stand-up comedian Chris Martin wades into the Adonis DNA gene pool March 13, 2011 at Underground Comedy @ the New York Deli in Richmond, VA, presented by Brian Mann. John Reaves is the MC. Watch (compatible with iPad and Apple TV)
“We just celebrated Presidents Day. We should have a Vice Presidents Day. That way, instead of shooting off fireworks we’d get to shoot someone in the face.” Stand-up comedian Chris Martin has one of those nights March 9, 2011 at McCormack’s Irish Pub in Richmond, VA. Pitshou Kafuku is the MC. Watch (compatible with iPad and Apple TV) Related articles 21 reviews of Dick Cheney (rateitall.com) Be Scared: Dick Cheney’s Memoir Due in August [Books] (gawker.com) Cheney: Reinstate waterboarding (tipggita32.wordpress.com)
“Bill Murray saw his shadow on Groundhog Day. That means we’re in for another year of artsy-fartsy movies.” Stand-up comedian Chris Martin is ready for spring February 28, 2011 at Cafe Diem Comedy Night in Richmond, VA. Andrew Pauley is the MC. Watch (compatible with iPad and Apple TV Related articles Groundhog Day (1993) (foolishblatherings.wordpress.com)