Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

Ever feel like your friendships are trapped in the very general "how are you?" catch-up loop? Award-winning journalist Jonah Kaplan joins me to talk about moving from small talk to something more substantive that feeds connection. Jonah has spent two decades covering difficult stories for CBS and WCCO, and he’s learned that the best conversations—on camera or off—come from curiosity, empathy, and follow-up questions that go beyond the obvious.In a world of quick texts, busy schedules, and constant scrolling, it’s easy to keep friendships at the surface level. But the friendships that truly sustain us are the ones with depth. Related to the October friendship challenge for Dear Nina listeners, Jonah is an excellent guide for asking questions that bring conversations to another level.WE COVER:How to reframe small talk (try “What surprised you most about your trip?” instead of “How was it?”)Creating connection through conversation: don’t wait for invitations—initiateReading the room so vulnerability feels safe, not forcedWhy men need deeper conversations, tooHow honest conflict can make a friendship strongerThe power of mixed-age friendships to keep you growingWhat friendship and journalism have in commonMEET JONAH KAPLAN:Jonah Kaplan is an award-winning journalist (and the son of two rabbis!) who has built a strong reputation for his balanced reporting, thoughtful interviews, and deeply researched coverage of high-impact issues affecting the community. His work appears on all of WCCO's newscasts and is often featured on CBS News' programs and platforms, including the CBS Evening News, CBS Mornings and CBS 24/7. (See Jonah's full bio at cbsnews.com/team/jonah-kaplan/). Find him on Facebook or on 'X' at @JonahPKaplan.ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.Thank you to this week's sponsor: https://www.sassythoughts.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

"This made me think of you." Is there anything more delightful to hear from a friend? These are the words often written between friends when someone shares one of Hannah Rosenberg's (always viral!) poems from Instagram. And the incredible Hannah Rosenberg is my guest on Dear Nina. I was so excited to meet the woman behind the words I've been sharing in my own Instagram stories for years. Hannah is the author of the poetry collection, Same, from St. Martin's Press, and her work about friendship, motherhood, and everyday life has made thousands of people online say or write “same” in the comments or when they share her work.Together Hannah and I dive into what it actually means to feel seen, and how to make your friends feel seen. Hannah reads some of her most-shared friendship poems. There are tears (the good kind). And it’s a warm, genuine conversation about connection, vulnerability, and the friendships that quietly save us.Topics we cover:The meaning behind “Same” and how it became a viral poetry movementWhy adult friendship deserves real rituals and recognitionHow to bridge distance and stay close when life changesThe difference between being comforting and being dismissiveFriendship poems that say what we all feel but can’t quite expressPoems & passages mentioned“When I Needed My Friends” “Group Text”“Home (for Katie)”  “Marriage of Friends” MEET HANNAH ROSENBERG:Hannah Rosenberg is a poet whose work has been shared widely online, and she has been featured in publications serving women and parents like Darling and In Kind. She lives in the greater Philadelphia area with her husband and daughter, who often find themselves as the subjects of her poems. You can find her work on Instagram @hannahrowrites. Learn more at hannahrowrites.comALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.Thank you to this week's sponsor: https://www.sassythoughts.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Want a social gathering for making new friends or deepening friendships that’s not a book club, not mahjong, not a cooking club, not pickleball—just high-level, soul-filling conversation? Enter "the salon."Linda-Marie Barrett, author of Creating a Salon: The Magic of Conversations that Matter, shows us exactly how to plan a modern salon: who to invite (and who not to), how to set a clear purpose, what to do about dominant talkers, and why ending well matters as much as beginning well.If this episode nudges you to start a salon, tell me how it goes. What did you try? What surprised you? What will you tweak next time? All the ways to find me are in the link below.What we coverWhat a salon is (and isn’t): an intentional, guided conversation on a themeWhy salons help friendship: they deepen bonds and create new ones by giving everyone structured airtime.Hosting with with authority and kindness: Linda-Marie and I talk timers, bells, and how to intervene when someone is taking over to make sure everyone in the group has a chance to participate.Designing the experience: purpose, people, place, ground rules, accessibility, potluck flow, parking and a thoughtful way close the evening.Trouble spots: late arrivals, phones on the table, oversharing, and the art of the one-on-one follow-up.A complete sample format of a salon you can lift for your first salon.MEET LINDA-MARIE BARRETT:Linda-Marie Barrett is a writer, editor, and executive director of the Southern Independent Booksellers Alliance (SIBA). Before that, she was at Malaprop’s Bookstore/Cafe, where she wore many hats, including events manager and founder and host of a book club that continues today, Women In Lively Discussion or WILD. She has been hosting her Black Swan Salon since 2017 and has no plans to ever stop. She lives with her husband, writer and blogger Jon Mayes, in Asheville, North Carolina. Find her on Facebook and Instagram.  ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.Thank you to this week's sponsor: https://www.sassythoughts.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

You're probably not asking your friends enough questions. This month’s Friendship Challenge is simple but powerful: ask your friends more questions. (Way more than you think you should.) Trust me, people notice when you're not asking questions.One of my most viral TikToks from last fall was when I talked about "the friend who never asks about you." It has over 90K views and over 400 comments. People had NEGATIVE feelings and lots to say about friends who don't ask questions. To help us all do better with asking questions, I discussed one chapter from a book I loved earlier this year called Talk: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves by Harvard Business School professor Alison Wood Brooks.This month's challenge is about getting curious about your friends, deeply curious. Most of us think we ask plenty of questions, but research shows we don’t.To help you get started: Ask more questions than feels natural.Stick with follow-ups instead of jumping from topic to topic.Use what questions at first more than why to avoid being intrusive, but you can move to why eventually.Listen. Listening is how you know what follow-up questions to ask next.When you’re interested, you become interesting.And hey, as June’s challenge reminded us, it’s okay to ask for a favor. So here’s mine: Please share an episode with a friend (just maybe not THIS one if you’re trying to send a message as that's too passive-aggressive 😉).Find all the 2025 Friendship Challenges at DearNina.Substack.com.LINKS AND RESOURCES:2025 Dear Nina Friendship Challenge overviewGreat book on the art of conversation! Talk: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves by Alison Wood BrooksALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.Thank you to this week's sponsor: https://www.sassythoughts.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

A good apology can save a friendship; a bad one can torch it. And yes, our friends will mess up. As will we! That's why learning to say "I'm sorry" (and why!), accept an apology, and even ask for a better apology if the one you got was "off" are all important skills in maintaining and deepening your friendships.In this episode of Dear Nina, I spoke to author and journalist Marjorie Ingall, co-author with Susan McCarthy of Sorry, Sorry, Sorry: The Case for Good Apologies (released in paperback as Getting to Sorry: The Art of Apology at Work and at Home) and co-creator of SorryWatch.com.Marjorie walks us through the six essential steps of a good apology and the “half step” people often forget. We discussed why bad apologies are worse than none at all, and how the timing of an apology can make or break it. Whether you’re struggling to say sorry, waiting for an apology that may never come, or wondering how to truly forgive, this conversation offers practical tools you can bring into your friendships right away.We also explore:The difference between guilt and shame, and how each affects friendships.Why accepting an apology can be just as challenging—and important—as giving one.When it’s okay (and even healthy) to ask for an apology you feel you’re owed.Why rushing to apologize can actually backfire.The power of letters—both to give an apology and to solicit one.How forgiveness (when possible) benefits not just the friendship, but your own health and peace of mind.We also touch on the Jewish High Holidays as a time of reflection and repair, how apologies evolve as we age, and what Marjorie's favorite children’s book, A Bargain for Frances, can teach all of us about navigating imperfect friendships. LINKS AND RESOURCES: The ten days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom KippurEp. #34 of Dear Nina: Reconnecting with an Ex-FriendThe six steps of a good apology on sorrywatch.com"Waiting for an Apology That Will Never Come" (Nina's 2014 article on Kveller)A Bargain for Frances by Russell HobanMEET MARJORIE INGALLMarjorie Ingall is the co-author, with Susan McCarthy, of Sorry, Sorry, Sorry: The Case for Good Apologies (released in paperback as Getting To Sorry) and co-creator of the apology watchdog site SorryWatch.com. She’s also the author of Mamaleh Knows Best: What Jewish Mothers Do to Raise Successful, Creative, Empathetic, Independent Children. She often writes about children’s books for the New York Times Book Review and has written for many other magazines and newspapers, including Tablet and The Forward — she was a columnist for both — as well as Town & Country, Glamour, Self, Ms., Elle, New York, Time, and Newsweek. Back in the day, she was the senior writer and books editor at the late, lamented Sassy Magazine. Find Marjorie on Facebook and Bluesky.ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.Thank you to this week's sponsor: https://www.sassythoughts.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Different choices, same friendships—if you’re willing to speak up.This week on Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship, I talk with bestselling author Dani Alpert, who has always known she didn’t want children. While her five best friends all married and had kids, Dani carved out a different life. The result? Decades of navigating friendships where communication was extra necessary to keep resentment and misunderstanding at bay. Dani says it took a lot work, but she did not want to lose these important relationships and every hard discussion with close friends was worth the effort.Dani has advice for listeners that goes beyond whether you have kids or not. Many areas of life and the decisions we make can set us apart from the path our friends chose. No matter the "topic," communication and honesty is key. There's no other way to hold onto the friendships that matter to you. Whatever the difference is between you and your friends, Dani’s wisdom applies: speak up, be honest, and trust that the right friends will stick.Listen to my conversation with Dani for a funny, candid, and deeply relatable episode about friendship across different life paths.HIGHLIGHTS:The resentment that can build when your life path looks different from your friends’ choicesWhy it’s so important to actually say the uncomfortable things out loud to friendsHow true friends will hear you, even if your words come out messyThe loneliness that can creep in when “everybody” seems to be living a life you didn’t choose. For Dani the example is being child-free by choice, but this can apply to so many paths.Why naming your needs sooner (but also knowing it’s never too late) can save a friendshipWe also squeezed in a quick few minutes and doing art (writing, etc.) because you're passionate about it, not because you're expecting a certain outcome in sales or attention.MEET DANI ALPERT:Dani Alpert is the best-selling author of Hello? Who Is This? Margaret?—a new collection of humorous essays—and the memoir, The Girlfriend Mom, winner of the 2020 Story Circle Network Gilda Award for comedy, honoring Gilda Radner. Her work appears in numerous outlets. Dani spent decades working in theater, television, and film, performing, writing, and directing. She’s a Pilates instructress and advocate for the Down syndrome community. Dani’s first headshot was her mugshot taken after being arrested for tagging when she was a juvenile. She’s been trying to reclaim those glory days ever since. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.Thank you to this week's sponsor: https://www.sassythoughts.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

New parenthood can be isolating and full of unspoken (or spoken!) pressures. But those early years are not only about the challenges. There are opportunities too! For one, being at a drastically new stage of life is a common time for making friends who are going through similar experiences. I spoke to Alex Reed, a new-ish mom (at least compared to me--a mom for two decades), a tech-industry pro, and the creator behind Roses & Radicchio, an Instagram account and newsletter that celebrates connections that make life meaningful.Alex and I discussed: Practical ways to meet other momsWhy community is one of the most protective things for perinatal and postpartum mental healthStaying part of a community matters, even if your close friends do not come from these groups and activities. Acquaintances can become friends, connectors, or lifelines later (school, camps, emergencies).Using small, low-cost asks when you spot a potential new mom friend: “I’m going to the park tomorrow, want to join?” Short time windows might feel more doable.How to spot a new-mom-friend judgement issue early and stop the comparison cycleAccepting different parenting and new-parent socializing styles (turning outward for a bigger network vs turning inward to a small circle)The importance of keeping connections with friends who do not have kidsRemembering social media can amplify shame and false “shoulds”AND NOTE: If you’re struggling, community helps but professional support is so important. If you’re worried about postpartum depression or anxiety, seek help.This isn’t a “you must do X” to make new mom friends conversation. This is all about advice and empathy for a potentially lonely season of life. LINKS & RESOURCES:Roses & Radicchio--Alex's Instagram account and newsletterA few other parenting episodes on DEAR NINA (mostly aimed at parents with teens): #2. When Your Friend’s Kid is Being Mean to Your Kid; #59. Difficult Teen Friendships & Parent Involvement; #86. Every Friendship Starts With an Act of Bravery; #91. Helping Kids Manage Conflict With Friends; #59. Teaching Kindness Without Forcing FriendshipsModern Friendship by Anna Goldfarb is a book Alex and I both loved. Anna was also featured on several episodes of Dear Nina, most recently #126."The Search for the Perfect Stroller is Really a Search for Control" (I first had this published in Brain, Child Magazine in 2015 and later re-published in Scary Mommy in 2021.)The Peanut app MEET ALEX REED:Alex is a gathering enthusiast, photographer, tech professional, and toddler mom who brings creativity and connection into everyday life. Outside her day job at a Fortune 50, she runs Roses & Radicchio, a lifestyle Instagram and Substack where she shares approachable tips for elevated entertaining, vintage treasure hunts, food and flower creations, and current reads. Passionate about conversations around adult female friendships, Alex uses her platform to celebrate the connections that make life meaningful. She lives in Northern Virginia, just outside Washington, D.C., with her husband, energetic toddler, and their allergy-prone French bulldog.ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.Thank you to this week's sponsor: https://www.sassythoughts.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

What happens when we carry shame into our friendships? How does it keep us apart? How does it connect us deeply to others? I spoke with author Melissa Petro, whose book, SHAME ON YOU: How to Be a Woman in the Age of Mortification, delves into the complex relationship between shame, identity, and connection. Together we explore how unacknowledged shame affects our ability to form deep, meaningful relationships. Melissa shares her story of working in the sex industry to beginning a career as a writer and an art teacher in New York City and eventually becoming the subject of public scrutiny in many media headlines. She explains how carrying a “concealable, stigmatized identity” weighed on her and how she learned to navigate the delicate process of sharing her story with potential new friends.Our conversation touches on the importance of moving beyond shame, why sharing our stories can foster closeness, and how to be a supportive listener when someone else opens up.HIGHLIGHTS:Why unacknowledged shame can create distance in friendshipsDeciding when and how to share personal secretsHow to respond supportively when friends confide in youMoving past labels and seeing friends as multi-dimensionalPractical ways to foster deeper, more authentic connectionsLINKS & RESOURCES:Episode 95: “Over Talking, Under Talking and Lessons for Friendship and the Art of Storytelling” (with Micaela Blei)Episode 4: “Revealing Too Much Too Soon” (with Christie Tate)MEET MELISSA PETRO:Melissa Petro a cultural journalist, book coach, harm reduction activist and author of SHAME ON YOU: How to Be a Woman in the Age of Mortification, published last fall by Putnam Books, a division of Penguin Random House. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.Thank you to this week's sponsor: https://www.sassythoughts.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

This month’s Dear Nina Friendship Challenge taps into the fresh-start energy of September to help you quiet the inner bully telling you you're awkward or not desired and dial up your inner bestie. I'm joined by Leslie Randolph, certified coach and TEDx speaker, who helps adults, tweens, and teens cultivate self-confidence that sticks. Leslie and I break down self-confidence as a skill (not a genetic lottery prize). We encourage listeners to take courageous action even with fear present. And we discuss practical ways to reframe the stories you tell yourself so you can make and keep adult friendships at any stage of life.Find a "how to" for September's challenge at dearnina.substack.com.LINKS & RESOURCES:2025 Dear Nina Friendship Challenge overviewMy guest spot on Leslie's podcast, Why Didn't They Tell Us? ("Friendship and Fitting In")Dear Nina episode #115: "The Freshmen Energy Trick For Making New Friends As An Adult" MEET LESLIE RANDOLPH:Leslie Randolph is a certified life coach committed to helping tweens and teens cultivate self-confidence. Leslie’s approach is rooted in the belief that self-confidence is not a genetic lottery ticket, but a choice you make and a skill you can develop. Her coaching teaches teens how to set meaningful goals, mindfully manage emotions, develop a growth mindset, and talk to and treat themselves with compassion along the way. Leslie’s proven strategies and supportive approach empowers adolescents to ditch doubt and overcome anxiety so they can unlock their true potential.When not coaching, Leslie is a motivational and TEDx speaker, a workshop facilitator, and the host of Why Didn’t They Tell Us?, an inspirational podcast where she shares the lessons she learned late in life so others can know better . . . sooner.Learn more at confidencecoachforgirls.com or follow along at The Coach Chronicles on Instagram and Facebook. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.Thank you to this week's sponsor: https://www.sassythoughts.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

What should we expect from friends when we launch a new business or creative project like a book or a new company? Bestselling author Jackie Friedland joins me to wrestle with the messy feelings of disappointment, obligation, vulnerability, and gratitude that come with asking friends for support.Jackie opens up about the rollercoaster of releasing five books—sometimes surrounded by cheering friends and other times left disappointed. We talk about planning events, the strange universe of social media “likes,” asking for reviews, and why acquaintances and strangers sometimes show up more than our closest friends and family.If you’ve ever felt stung when friends (and family) didn’t show up for your “big thing,” or if you’ve struggled with how much to ask of the people you love, this episode will leave you feeling seen, understood, and maybe a little lighter. WE DISCUSS:The gap between the support we hope for from close friends and the support we actually get.Why acquaintances and even strangers often step up more than close friends.How much “obligation” belongs in friendship when someone is launching a creative or entrepreneurial project.The delicate balance between asking for support and fearing you’re being pushy.Social media support: why it feels so personal when friends scroll past our posts.Practical ways to be direct without being demanding—what you can reasonably ask of friends, and what might be unfair.LINKS MENTIONED:Jackie's newest novel is Counting BackwardsFind Jackie on Facebook, Instagram, and on her WebsiteDear Nina: The Group on Facebook MEET JACKIE FRIEDLAND:Jacqueline Friedland is the USA Today and Amazon bestselling author of both historical and contemporary women’s fiction. A graduate of the University of Pennsylvania and NYU Law School, she practiced as a commercial litigator for as long as she could stand it. She then returned to school to earn her Masters of Fine Arts in creative writing from Sarah Lawrence College and has been writing ever since.Jackie’s books have been awarded the 2020 and 2021 gold medals in fiction from Readers’ Favorite. Her novels have also been named the 2021 Kirkus Reviews Best Indie Book of the Year, the SheReads Best Book Club Pick of 2021, and the Women’s Fiction Writers Association Star finalist for 2022. She regularly reviews fiction for trade publications and appears at schools and other locations as a guest lecturer. Her fifth novel, Counting Backwards, was released by Harper Muse in March 2025.Jackie lives in Westchester, New York with her husband, four children, and two dogs. You can find her on Instagram @jackiefriedland, on Facebook @JacquelineFriedlandAuthor or through her website www.jacquelinefriedland.com. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.Thank you to this week's sponsor: https://www.sassythoughts.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

My dream for "Dear Nina" has always been to make people feel less alone in the messy parts of friendship. Episode #160 was our first-ever LIVE show with 120 people in the room—and wow, you could feel the energy, see the heads nodding, and appreciate the camaraderie of an audience who has experienced the highs and lows of friend groups.Friend groups are complicated. They can be the source of safety, belonging, and joy. But they can also be a source of exclusion, hurt, and longing. With my assistant producer and friend, Rebekah Jacobs, we dug into the messy, funny, and universal realities of friend groups from middle school cafeterias to mahj tables and even to the dining hall at the assisted living center.Why do groups feel so good AND so painful? Do you really need one to belong? And how do you help your kids (or yourself) when a group just isn’t working? This episode has laughter, applause, and some tough-but-true advice: go where the love is.LINKS MENTIONED:Dear Nina Newsletter (dearnina.substack.com)Facebook: Dear Nina: The GroupDr. Lisa Damour on Dear Nina, episode #65Gretchen Rubin on Dear Nina, episode #96My episode on Leslie Randolph's podcast, "Why Didn't They Tell Us?" episode #63: "Friendships and Fitting In""Is There a Gentle Way to Drop a Friend" episode 156 of the Ask Lisa PodcastThe final poem I read was from author Amy Weatherly of "Sister, I am With You." It can be found on their Facebook page, here. You can also hear Amy and Jess on Dear Nina, episode #86.SPECIAL THANK YOU to our North Shore live show sponsors & partners!🍹 @drinktwistedalchemy – cold-pressed juices at the bar🥂 @inspirotequila – crafted the signature cocktails🍰 @glickmanlevyresidential – sponsored the gorgeous dessert bar👗 @enazboutique – donated 15% of sales to the National Pediatric Cancer FoundationAnd thank you to these generous companies for contributing to the swag bags and/or the raffle!@workflowsbyronna, @dr.julia.milman, @glickmanlevyresidential, @kiddlessports, @lainetoo, @maijamartinphotography, @ohhappydayconfections, @pvolvedeerfield, @get_rootz, @rosshighlandpark, @talacoffeeroasters, @enazboutiqueALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.Thank you to this week's sponsor: https://www.sassythoughts.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

As parents, we all want our kids to be kind, inclusive, and compassionate. But what about when your child simply isn’t interested in a friendship? How do you balance kindness with their right to choose who they spend time with?This week, I revisit one of my earliest and most-loved conversations with award-winning author Jessica Speer, whose books help kids and tweens navigate the tricky terrain of friendships, including BFF or NRF (Not Really Friends)? and Middle School--Safety Goggles Advised.This isn’t just a tween and teen conversation. It's about us as parents. Many of us have been on both sides: watching our kids be left out and watching them leave someone else out. And just like in adult friendships, chemistry matters.Jessica shares practical language for kids to politely say “no,” stories from her own parenting experience (including a birthday party that went sideways from over-inclusion), and the importance of helping kids identify and grow healthy friendships.If you’ve ever wondered how to raise a kind kid who also has strong boundaries without becoming the parent who micromanages every friendship, this episode is for you.WE TACKLE:Teaching kids to treat others with dignity and warmth without sending the message they must be friends with everyone.Understanding “shared spaces” (the lunchroom or a sports team) versus private time (a sleepover or weekend hangout).The “romantic relationship” analogy: why we’d never force our kids to date someone they weren’t interested in, but often push friendships in that exact way.How to help kids gracefully decline plans without ghosting or hurting feelings unnecessarily.Recognizing when our own parental fears--especially about what other parents might think--are driving our actions.Why being overly included can backfire, and how too much forced inclusion can prevent kids from finding genuine, mutual friendships.LINKS & RESOURCES:Ep #73: "I'm Just Not Into This Friendship" with guest Ruchi Koval.Ask an anonymous question"What if My Kid is the Mean One" the August anonymous question on dearnina.substack.com. MEET JESSICA SPEER:Jessica Speer is the award-winning author of books for kids and teens, including The Phone Book – Stay Safe, Be Smart, and Make the World Better with the Powerful Device in Your Hand, BFF or NRF (Not Really Friends)? A Girls Guide to Happy Friendships and Middle School – Safety Goggles Advised.Blending social science, stories, and activities, her writing guides readers through tricky stuff that surfaces during childhood and adolescence. She holds a Master’s Degree in Social Sciences and has a knack for writing about complex topics in a way that connects with kids and teens. Jessica regularly contributes to media outlets on content related to kids, parenting, friendship, screens, and social-emotional learning. For more information, visit JessicaSpeer.com and Instagram @jessica_speer_author. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.Thank you to this week's sponsor: https://www.sassythoughts.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

The August Friendship Challenge on Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship is all about mixed-age friendships, and I’m grateful to dive into the topic with author Liz Alterman. Her latest novel, Claire Casey’s Had Enough, includes a beautiful friendship between a 46-year-old and a 78-year-old woman, which gave me the perfect reason to talk about why we all need a friend who’s not in our exact age and stage. August's challenge is to seriously consider having an older or younger friend in your life. (This might require a new routine or trying something other than what you're already doing week to week!)I’ve seen the benefits of intergenerational friendships in my own life. Sometimes I’m the younger friend, sometimes the older one, and both roles come with their own gifts. Liz and I talk about what it’s like to build and nurture these relationships.HIGHLIGHTS:Why mixed-age friendships can be a game changerHow Liz’s own intergenerational friendship with author Susan Roane (of How to Work a Room fame) and poet, Melissa Elder, influenced her work and her lifeThe push-and-pull of being the older or younger friend in a dynamic, and what each side uniquely brings to the tableHow to meet someone not in your age bracket (hint: try something new, say yes more often, and follow the chemistry)💡My biggest takeaway from this episode? You’re not going to meet a mixed-age friend by doing the same old things. You have to get out of your comfort zone, try something new, and follow the chemistry—then be brave enough to make a move.LINKS & RESOURCES:The May Friendship Challenge: The Power of Changing the Venue2025 Dear Nina Friendship Challenge overviewMEET LIZ ALTERMAN:Liz Alterman is the author of the award-winning memoir Sad Sacked and multiple thrillers. Her romcom Claire Casey's Had Enough includes an intergenerational friendship in which a forty-six-year-old and a seventy-eight-year-old inspire one another to remember the women they once were and the dreams they still hope to fulfill. Liz's essays and reported pieces have appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, Business Insider and more. She notes that while writing hasn't brought her fame or fortune, it's filled her life with enriching friendships that span generations. For more, visit her website and follow Liz on Instagram at @lizalterman.ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.Thank you to this week's sponsor: https://www.sassythoughts.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Amy Blumenfeld was in 8th grade when she was diagnosed with Hodgkin lymphoma. While the medical story is remarkable on its own (including Amy becoming the first adolescent with Hodgkin lymphoma to have an autologous bone marrow transplant at Memorial Sloan Kettering in NYC), what stayed with her deeply was how her community showed up for her family. Just one example: a group of friends and synagogue families created a full-length skit video—Amy Night Live—to lift her spirits during isolation. Her community's love, support, and generosity became the emotional backdrop of her storytelling and work for years to come.We talk about:How Amy’s real-life community inspired the fictional community and circle of friends in her debut novel The CastThe ripple effect of early illness on friendships, families, and even future partners, careers, and childrenHow illness can reshape your view of who matters and whyAmy's second novel, Such Good People, which explores childhood friendship and loyalty against the backdrop of the criminal justice systemThe complexities of loyalty when friends and family need you at the same timeThis conversation ties closely to my upcoming Dear Nina live event in Highland Park, Illinois, which will raise money for the National Pediatric Cancer Foundation. In the introduction of the episode I mention losing my nephew Joshua McFadden to DIPG, a form of brain cancer, in 2017. A portion of ticket sales and 15% of all sales at ENAZ stores on 7/31/25 (not just in Highland Park!) will go to this important cause.LINKS & RESOURCES:Joshua's story on NPCF's siteMy episode with brother-in-law (and my first podcast producer!), Dave DlugerAmy's books: The Cast and Such Good PeopleMEET AMY BLUMENFELD:Amy Blumenfeld is an award-winning author and journalist. She is a graduate of Barnard College of Columbia University and received a master’s degree from the Columbia University School of Journalism. Her articles and essays have appeared in various publications including the New York Times, The Huffington Post, O, The Oprah Magazine, as well on the cover of People. Amy’s debut novel, The Cast, was selected as a New York Post Best Book of the Week. She has contributed to three non-fiction books, including a USA TODAY bestselling anthology. Amy lives in New York with her husband and daughter. Such Good People is her second novel. Find Amy on Instagram @AmyBlumenfeldAuthor.ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.Thank you to this week's sponsor: https://www.sassythoughts.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

It’s the four-year anniversary of Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship! Whether you’ve been with me from the column that began in 2014, started with the first episode in 2021, stumbled in at episode 86, or you're new around here at #156—thank you. Thank you for caring about friendship on a deep level and for helping this podcast grow into something that’s helped me (and hopefully you) navigate the joys and messes of adult friendship.In this solo episode, I’m marking four years of Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship with the four major lessons I’ve learned about friendship from hosting the show—and four lessons I’ve learned about podcasting along the way.And a special to thank you to my many fantastic guests!🎁 Anniversary Favor 🎁If Dear Nina has helped you in any way—big or small—please share your favorite episode with a friend or on social media. It’s the best way to keep the conversations going, and it means the world to me.ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.Thank you to this week's sponsor: https://www.sassythoughts.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

After 31 years on the East Coast, Lisa Giordano decided (less than a year ago) to make a big move to Austin, Texas, with zero local contacts and a personal challenge to build a community and social life from scratch. In this upbeat conversation, Lisa tells us what really works (and what does not) when you’re starting over single in a brand-new city—or simply trying to make new friends right where you've lived for years. WHAT WE COVER:Admitting you want friends: Why naming the need out loud is the best thing to do.DMs & daily errands: The social media message and the post-office line that sparked Lisa’s first new friendships.The “one-plan” weekend rule: A realistic guardrail against both isolation and social burnout.Why nearby beats “perfect”: How living a few miles apart can matter more than instant chemistry.Mixed age friendships: The benefits of friendships with people in similar life stages but different ages.When you don't click: Not taking things too personally is essential to moving forward and finding new potential friends.Solo time as a skill: Creating intentional solo time so your happiness isn’t dependent on anyone else's schedule.It's never too late to make new friends: I shared a story about my mom's recent 80th birthday party. LINKS & RESOURCES:My episode on Lisa's podcast, SurthrivingEpisode #130 with Hallie Sawyer on "Sober Curiosity"Episode #115 on "Freshmen Energy" and making new friends as an adultLisa on Instagram and TikTokMEET LISA GIORDANO:After living in the northeast for all of her life, Lisa took a leap of faith at the age of 31 and moved cross country to Austin, Texas, without knowing anyone. Filling her car to the brim and driving across the country with her cat, she embarked on a new journey and decided to document it along the way. Lisa is a typical single 30-something building a life she thrives in. She makes lifestyle content and documents navigating her 30s, starting over, solo life, life in Austin, and anything else that inspires her! Find her on Instagram and TikTok and on her podcast, Surthriving.ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.Thank you to this week's sponsor: https://www.sassythoughts.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Ever feel that low-level hum of annoyance when a friend casually drops your (good or bad) personal news into the conversation? I have my fantastic "Dear Nina" assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs, with me this week to crack open a listener's anonymous letter about DISCRETION.Discretion is that gray zone between gossip and harmless chatter. Rebekah and I discuss how much we can expect friends to know intuitively what stays private and what's OK to share.We're not talking about friends who gossip incessantly about you or reveal a big secret. That's easier to answer! Keep THAT friend at arm's length.Discretion is another category entirely and we get to the bottom of it in less than 30 minutes.IN THIS CONVERSATIONThe blurry line between discretion and gossipExperiencing a friendship “tap on the shoulder vs. smack in the face”: learning from small slip-ups before they become big mess-upsNina’s mom’s reminder: Not every friend is a close friendPractical ways to decide what you can share, what you should share, and when to hit pauseWhy “share your truth” and “protect your privacy” don’t have to be oppositesA Jewish teaching on mindful speech that still works in the screenshot ageLINKS & RESOURCESAsk an anonymous questionEventbrite tickets to see Nina and Rebekah LIVE in Highland Park, IL: “From the Cafeteria to the Mahj Table: Friend-Group Challenges from Teens to Mid-Life and Beyond.” Tickets are going fast!White Lotus Friendship Trio episode with RebekahEpisodes with my mom as the guest if you want more of Kathy's advice.Episode #136 with Rebekah about finding your 3-5 closest friends. (Another letter spotlight episode)Episode #112 about college admissions and friendshipA bit more information about the laws of speech in Judaism MEET REBEKAH JACOBSRebekah has been a reading specialist and writing instructor for over 20 years, teaching in Boston, Chicago, DC, and Los Angeles. Currently, she teaches college writing in DC, and her own writing has been featured in Kveller. As assistant producer for Dear Nina, she is passionate about ideation and brainstorming creative concepts. She tries to read 80 books a year and loves TV—though, unlike Nina, cooking and tech are not her strong suit. She lives with her husband, three kids, and a golden doodle named Peanut.ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.Thank you to this week's sponsor: https://www.sassythoughts.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Ready to see where your friendships stand halfway through 2025? In this solo episode, I (very quickly!) round up the first six monthly challenges. Then I hand you three laser-focused questions to help you reflect, assess, tweak, and strengthen your connections for the rest of the year. Answer the 3 Questions This Week!Block 15 minutes.Jot down honest answers. And bullet points count!LINKS & RESOURCESJoin the Dear Nina Facebook Community to discuss wins and struggles from all the monthly challenges.Previous Monthly Challenges in the newsletter (Jan–June 2025)Episode #127, January: See a friend in person#131 February: Start a friendship ritual#135 March: Plan a hyper-local hangout#140 April: Put your friends' birthdays in your calendar#144 May: Change the venue where you spend time with a friend or change how you communicate#149 June: Ask a friend for a favorEpisode 121 about "Rules for Making Plans"ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.Thank you to this week's sponsor: https://www.sassythoughts.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Facing Unfinished Friendship Business When Your Child Hits Social SnagsYour child’s social life can stir up every unresolved playground scar you’re still carrying. Licensed clinical social worker and EMDR therapist Beth Segaloff joins "Dear Nina" to talk about separating our past (and present) friendship baggage from our kids’ current experiences. We discuss how kids' realities are so different today and why that small pause before jumping in to “fix” everything is parenting gold.HIGHLIGHTS:Why your kid’s friendship bumps feel personal--how to tell what feelings belong to you versus your child.The 2025 friendship landscape: 24/7 phones, "Snap Maps," and over-scheduled livesThe space between reacting and responding--how a moment of silence can change the whole conversation (and other strategies for when your child is struggling with friendships).Why forcing invitations or calling another parent for a favor often backfires, and what true support looks like instead.Modeling adult friendships: intentional intimacy vs. accidental exclusionMEET BETH SEGALOFFBeth Segaloff is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, EMDR therapist, yoga instructor, and Reiki healer dedicated to holistic healing and transformation. As founder of Tree of Life Center in Fairfield, CT, she offers in-person and virtual support for grief, trauma, and life transitions. Through programs like Living Fully with Grief and Life School 360, Beth empowers clients to move from pain and loss toward love, meaning, and purpose. Find Beth on Instagram at @tree.of.life.center. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.Thank you to this week's sponsor: https://www.sassythoughts.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

What does it mean to have a close friendship in adulthood? How important is history in a friendship? What does (realistic) quality time with a friend look like when you're no longer in school?Therapist and podcast host, Jazzmyn Proctor, joins me to bust some of the most common myths she sees in her work with clients. This conversation offers a grounded, kind, and honest look at how we can rethink what adult friendship should look like.WE DISCUSS:Why depth doesn’t equal frequency—and what actually builds emotional closenessHow to let quality time evolve in your adult life instead of trying to recreate the pastThe trap of overvaluing history in friendshipsWhy the phrase “no new friends” might be holding you backWhen “friendship takes work” goes too farThe often-discussed "trio problem" gets a mention!MEET JAZZMYN PROCTORJazzmyn Proctor—your go-to therapist and the powerhouse host of the All Our Parts podcast! Jazzmyn is all about helping you find your vibe, face life’s curveballs, and come out stronger. From navigating the highs and lows of love and relationships to embracing self-discovery and smashing through obstacles, she’s here to hype you up every step of the way. She knows that everyone’s journey is unique, and her mission? To help you unlock your full potential and level up your mental health game. So, if you're ready to live your best life, hit play on All Our Parts and let Jazzmyn guide you straight to your happy place! Find Jazzmyn on Instagram @healingwithjazzmyn and TikTok too! ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.Thank you to this week's sponsor: https://www.sassythoughts.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands