DiscoverDear Prudence | Advice on relationships, sex, work, family, and life
Dear Prudence | Advice on relationships, sex, work, family, and life
Claim Ownership

Dear Prudence | Advice on relationships, sex, work, family, and life

Author: Slate Podcasts

Subscribed: 4,822Played: 170,331
Share

Description

Advice, commentary, and conversation from Danny M. Lavery, author of Slate's Dear Prudence column. Every week, Prudie and special guests answer questions about relationships, sex, work, family, and life.

230 Episodes
Reverse
My Body, My Kidney

My Body, My Kidney

2020-09-2247:13

Prudence is joined this week by the critic at large for Vox, Emily VanDerWerff. VanDerWerff is the co-creator of the fiction podcast Arden and the co-author of the book Monsters of the Week: The Complete Critical Companion to The X-Files. Prudie and VanDerWerff dig into letters about what to do when your family wants you to give your kidney for your abusive dad, how to handle a partner who’s horrified about you quitting social media, what to consider when your ex-wife wants you to babysit her child that’s not yours, what to consider when your girlfriend wants to get rid of the furniture that was chosen by your ex. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Detachment Guilt

Detachment Guilt

2020-09-1551:16

Prudence is joined this week by Charlie Markbreiter, who is an editor at The New Inquiry, cohost of the Art is Easy gathering, mod prince at the Death Panel discord, and a PhD student at the CUNY Graduate Center.  Prudie and Markbreiter tackle letters that ask if it’s unethical to apply to a job you don’t really need when unemployment is so high, what to consider after cheating on your live-in partner with someone in your new apartment complex, should you worry about enabling internalized racism because you’re dating a Black man, what to do when you constantly think about abandoning your disabled spouse.  Get $5 off Danny’s latest book, Something That May Shock and Discredit You, at slate.com/danny. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
I Can't Quit You

I Can't Quit You

2020-09-0801:01:331

Prudence is joined this week by novelist A.E. Osworth. Their first book, We Are Watching Eliza Bright, is forthcoming from Grand Central Publishing in April 2021 (and is available for pre-order now). They teach creative writing at The New School, Catapult, Fledgling and The New York Society Library. Prudie and Osworth dig into letters about what to do with an ongoing affair you’ve kept from your spouse for years, how to handle a roommate who abandoned your apartment and left you with all the responsibility, do you have to reveal all of your dietary habits to potential roommates, how to get a sense of closure after being randomly cut off from a boyfriend, what to consider if you’re unsure about going on your first same sex date.   Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Why Am I So Mean?

Why Am I So Mean?

2020-09-0154:461

Prudence is joined this week by Michelle Dean, a writer based in Los Angeles. Dean is the author of Sharp: The Women Who Made An Art of Having an Opinion, and the co-creator of Hulu’s Emmy and Golden-Globe-winning The Act. Prudie and Dean tackle letters about what to consider when you want to pursue a polyamourous relationship with your boyfriend and your best friend, what to do when your propensity for making fun of people has left you with no friends, how to navigate a relationship with your partner while also having sexual conversations online with men, what actions to take when a manager at your job refers to himself as your “master”. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Prudence is joined this week by Elizabeth Sampat, a game developer, writer, and troublemaker whose work has been covered on Vice, Polygon, and the LA Times. Prudie and Sampat dig into letters about what to consider when your biological mom doesn’t acknowledge your relationship in social media, what to do when you find an iPad that reveals your teenage daughter was “sexting” with her friends, should you keep paying a beloved nanny even though she no longer watches your kids, how to handle a heterosexual friend who frequently calls herself gay, should you tell your husband that you tricked him into having your third child. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Kitty Obstruction

Kitty Obstruction

2020-08-1850:24

Prudence is joined this week by Shruti Swamy, author of the short story collection A House Is a Body, and the recipient of two O. Henry awards. She lives in San Francisco. Prudie and Swamy tackle letters about how to handle a roommate who insists on interrupting your dates by bringing her cat out to play with you, what to do about being excluded from friend’s social events because you’re single, how to decline a friend’s wedding due to pandemic concerns and not offend them, should you see the same therapist as your crush, what actions to take with a close friend who only talks about themselves. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Worth the Wait?

Worth the Wait?

2020-08-1149:15

Prudence is joined this week by Hannah Selector, co-host of the Castle Rock Historical Society podcast and co-host of the YouTube series, Reel Horror. Prudie and Selector dig into letters about what to do when you can’t move past a one-time threat of violence from your sister-in-law, how to handle a girlfriend who’s chronically late, what to do after learning that your wife’s close friend hit on her at a party, should you keep your history of having an abortion a secret from your adult sons, should you contact the other jilted partner of you ex’s affair to share how you feel about the ex-partners. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Blood or Marriage?

Blood or Marriage?

2020-08-0445:34

Prudence is joined this week by Natalie Walker, a performer and writer. Walker has contributed to Vulture, The Cut, and Bookforum, and can be found onstage frequently at 54 Below, Ars Nova, and Joe’s Pub. Her television credits include (and are limited to) Search Party and BoJack Horseman. Prudie and Walker tackle letters about whether there’s anything wrong with donating your inheritance to a struggling colleague that you don’t know that well, how to handle your anonymous twitter account that has now become a contentious public forum, what to consider when your husband demands that you choose between him or your family, what’s the appropriate way to address your students who have experienced family deaths, what to do when your mother-in-law to be throws out the only photos you had of your pregnant girlfriend who died in a tragic car accident. Plus, Prudie and Walker discuss a voicemail from someone who’s wondering how to stop the passive aggressive slights coming from her mother-in-law.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Prudence is joined this week by Ben Gullard, a creative technologist living in Brooklyn, NY.  Prudie and Gullard dig into letters about what to know about a niece who’s angry at you for getting the dog sitter fired after finding out she did her job naked, what to do about a roommate who routinely brings stolen groceries into the house, how to handle feeling like you’re abandoning your lesbian community now that you are in a straight relationship, should you reach out to an ex you treated badly, how to handle a friend who revealed their homophobia after you came out. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
A Gift Too Far

A Gift Too Far

2020-07-2149:33

Prudence is joined this week by writer Aminatou Sow and journalist Ann Friedman. Together, Sow and Friedman host the long-running podcast Call Your Girlfriend, and have recently released their first book, Big Friendship. Prudie, Sow and Friedman tackle letters about how to ask your mother-in-law if you can repurpose the very lavish ring she gifted you, what to consider with a young daughter who relentlessly pretends to be demonically possessed, what to do when your boyfriend leaves stains on the bed sheets from masturbating, how to politely follow up with someone who offered to buy you a gift, what to do when your friends and your therapist feel that your gift giving is excessive.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Cooking Feud

Cooking Feud

2020-07-1441:541

Prudence is joined this week by Soleil Ho, the restaurant critic for the San Francisco Chronicle and the host of the Chronicle’s new food podcast, Extra Spicy. Prudie and Ho dig into letters about how to handle a husband who never likes what you cook for him, what actions to take when your supervisor requires you to ask permission to use the restroom, what to do when a housemate accuses you of “bullying” because you don’t share your meals with her. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Don't Get Me Wrong

Don't Get Me Wrong

2020-07-0752:11

Prudence is joined this week by Krystal Farmer, who works in book publishing and lives in Oakland. Prudie and Farmer tackle letters about if you should move from your lover’s house because you don’t see a future together even though all is fine at the moment, what to do when the biological father of your baby, a fling with a much younger man, wants to be part of your child’s life, what to consider when you’ve been gifted second hand clothes that the original owner now wants back, how to handle discovering a racist conversation your girlfriend had on Facebook years ago. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Racist Lawn Statue

Racist Lawn Statue

2020-06-3039:46

Prudence is joined this week by Rachel Fershleiser, who works in book publishing, is the co-creator of the Six-Word Memoir project, and once made a zine about soup. Prudie and Fershleiser dig into letters about what to consider when you discover that your mom secretly lives in a nudist colony, should you tell your pregnant girlfriend that it’s medically impossible that it’s your baby and you know she cheated on you, how to tell your friend that you think she may have dementia, what to do about a neighbor who keeps a racist statute on their front lawn, what to do when your ex-cop boyfriend sides with the police after watching an indefensible video of police violence, what to consider about starting a family with a wife who you think does not eat healthy.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Read Daniel Lavery's latest book, a memoir/essay collection about pop culture, religion, and transition called “Something That May Shock and Discredit You,” available through Bookshop or Amazon. Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Zoom Faux Pas

Zoom Faux Pas

2020-06-2350:24

Prudence is joined this week by Milisa Burke, a Brooklyn based tech worker, and part of the program committee for New York’s Asian American International Film Festival.  Prudie and Burke tackle letters about what to do when you accidentally screen share erotic fan fiction during a zoom business meeting, how to tell your friend to stop pretending to be Black in an online group about Black women’s hair, should you try to lose weight even though you think it’ll make your spouse feel bad, should you send a birthday card to your estranged mom, what to consider with an abusive, drinking husband who occasionally tries to get help. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Read Daniel Lavery's latest book, a memoir/essay collection about pop culture, religion, and transition called “Something That May Shock and Discredit You,” available through Bookshop or Amazon. Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Really. Let It Go!

Really. Let It Go!

2020-06-1646:431

Prudence is joined this week by Christina Tucker, a contributing writer for Autostraddle, and a rotating fourth chair on NPR’s Pop Culture Happy Hour.  Prudie and Tucker dig into letters about how to deal with a friend’s request for money to hire an expensive divorce lawyer, what to do when your husband’s quarantine beard is turns you off, how to avoid taking off your shoes in friend’s homes without explaining your medical condition that requires you wear them, how to shut down your mother’s plans to throw you a Disney-themed wedding, what you can do to support your best friends who are moving away. Plus, Prudie and Tucker respond to a voicemail from a listener whose aunt won’t stop sending her articles about The Holocaust.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Read Daniel Lavery's latest book, a memoir/essay collection about pop culture, religion, and transition called “Something That May Shock and Discredit You,” available through Bookshop or Amazon. Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Quarantine Kitchen

Quarantine Kitchen

2020-06-0946:032

Prudence is joined this week by Peter Labuza, an incoming Postdoctoral Fellow at the University of Southern California, where he just defended his dissertation “When A Handshake Meant Something: Lawyers, Deal Making, and the Emergence of New Hollywood.”  Prudie and Labuza tackle letters about how to take a week “off the grid” from your family that likes to talk often, should you allow your nephew to use his education trust fund to support his soon to arrive baby, what to do when you find out that your friend makes military weapons for a living, should you to offer to make weekly meals for your colleague and his family who are isolating, how to handle a mom who keeps mentioning your recently deceased dog, how to allocate kitchen time in a four-roommate household during quarantine.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Read Daniel Lavery's latest book, a memoir/essay collection about pop culture, religion, and transition called “Something That May Shock and Discredit You,” available through Bookshop or Amazon. Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
A Proper Burial

A Proper Burial

2020-06-0251:21

Prudence is joined this week by Nastia Voynovskaya, a Russian-born, Oakland-based journalist and one of the arts and culture editors at KQED, San Francisco's NPR station. She covers the intersections of the arts, activism, labor, pop culture, the Bay Area and more.  Prudie and Voynovskaya dig into letters about how to plan for your mothers funeral during a pandemic, what to consider when your wife seems less and less interested in sex, should you marry someone who doesn’t match your high sex drive, what to do when your wife insists that you sleep on the couch after hearing your work phone ring in the middle of the night, what to consider when your husband doesn’t get along with one of the family dogs.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Read Daniel Lavery's latest book, a memoir/essay collection about pop culture, religion, and transition called “Something That May Shock and Discredit You,” available through Bookshop or Amazon. Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Jerk at Work Husband

Jerk at Work Husband

2020-05-2651:17

Prudence is joined this week by Sarah Jones, a Tony- and Obie Award-winning performer and writer known for her multi-character, one-person shows, including her current, critically acclaimed show Sell/Buy/Date. Prudie and Jones tackle letters about how to find peace while your family argues about your stepson's wedding, what to do when you are in quarantine away from your boyfriend and his roommates flirt with him, what to consider when your brother-in-law starts dating someone who looks like you, should you reach out to long-lost friends during quarantine, what to consider when it seems like your boyfriend will never propose, and how to handle discovering that your husband is a real jerk to his work colleagues.  Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Read Daniel Lavery's latest book, a memoir/essay collection about pop culture, religion, and transition called “Something That May Shock and Discredit You,” available through Bookshop or Amazon. Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Back Room Hookup

Back Room Hookup

2020-05-1947:181

Prudence is joined this week by Jasmine Sanders, a writer from the south side of Chicago. Prudie and Sanders dig into letters about what to do when neighbors treat your private yard like a public park, what to consider when your husband insists that both of you live with his mom indefinitely, how to handle the constant practicing from your concert pianist roommate, how to tell your parents that you write erotica for a living, is there a polite way to ask your potential partners about their mental health, what actions to take when the manager of your co-working space uses it as a place to have sex. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
A Nonprofit Liar

A Nonprofit Liar

2020-05-1253:261

Prudence is joined this week by Jack Doyle, an LGBTQ healthcare advocate, historian, and journalist originally hailing from New England. Prudie and Doyle tackle letters about what do you when your ex lies to everyone about why you left him, should you report a childhood friend who’s now lying about her upbringing to solicit donations, what to know when you increase your time flirting on chat sites during quarantine, how to handle a boyfriend who insists that you both go to bed at the same time, what to consider about the anxiety you feel during hormone replacement therapy. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Sign up now to listen.  Email: prudence@slate.com  Production by Phil Surkis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
loading
Comments (6)

Heather Deitchman

I'm leaving this podcast behind. Between the podcast and the website I can't handle how much Daniel has continued to stray further and further from the letters and deeper and deeper into his own opinion. Daniel doesn't get to decide what the letter writer must have actually intended rather than what the letter writer said. I truly hate just how much Daniel makes excuses for the people in the letter rather than just responding to what the question refers to.

Dec 11th
Reply (1)

AR

I think I've heard the 3rd question before, maybe I read it on Ask A Manager or Reddit.

Nov 19th
Reply

Daniel Woodsmall

I just want to say I was in that relationship! I understand her feeling like she would be a monster to leave, I felt the exact same way. He wasnt like that before his disease but I had to endure the abuse for a long time before I realized" i dont deserve this!" You dont deserve this either. It only got worse before i finally called it quits. It got to a point where he was calling me names daily. He never laid hands on me but sometimes emotional is worse. Its hard but you need to go while you still can.

Oct 30th
Reply

JosiasB

I haven't been listening in a while, is it me or does Mallory Ortberg sound different?

Aug 30th
Reply

Jenn Lynne

Daniel for the 100th episode!!!! ❤❤❤ I'm so excited! Perfection!!!

May 8th
Reply
Download from Google Play
Download from App Store