DiscoverDear Sugars
Dear Sugars
Claim Ownership

Dear Sugars

Author: WBUR and The New York Times

Subscribed: 74,575Played: 657,285


Radically empathic advice
196 Episodes
The Sugars' conversation on friendship continues with a handful of letters concerning male-female friendships. Is there such a thing as a platonic relationship between a heterosexual man and woman? Can male-female friendships be as emotionally satisfying as same-gender relationships? What do you do when a friend crosses a romantic line? The Sugars discuss it all in rapid-fire fashion. This episode was originally published on November 4th, 2016.
The Sugars read the letters of two transgender men who are struggling to find love and acceptance. They discuss with Cooper Lee Bombardier, a visual artist, writer and transgender man.
The Sugars find out what happened to two letter writers who let self-image sabotage their love lives. They find out if “Scared to Choose Wrong” married her fiancé, and they give “Aspiring Warrior for Love” a call to see how he’s changed since hearing the Sugars’ advice more than a year ago. This episode was originally published on February 3rd, 2018.
Redux: Inbox Outliers

Redux: Inbox Outliers


Infidelity. In-Laws. Friendship. These are just a few of the categories that help keep the Dear Sugar inbox organized. But every once in a while, we get a letter that doesn't fit neatly into any category. The Sugars discuss a handful of those letters in rapid-fire fashion -- from a woman whose mother-in-law might be faking an allergy to her cat, to a woman whose identity was her own sister. This episode was originally published on April 25th, 2017.
The Sugars get an update from a 62-year-old, divorced woman who was considering a reconciliation with her ex-husband, even after years of unhappiness inside their marriage. The situation was further complicated by the fact that he was engaged to another woman. Find out how the letter-writer and her ex-husband decided to proceed. This episode was originally published on August 26th, 2016.
The Sugars revisit a letter from a woman who felt like a fairytale-esque wicked stepmother. When she wrote to the Sugars, she was feeling pressured to love her stepchildren "like her own," but she didn't want to be their mother. The Sugars find out how the self-proclaimed 'Wicked Stepmother' and her husband are doing today. This episode was originally released on August 19th, 2016.
Former U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy talks with the Kind World team about the startling effects of chronic loneliness and how we can combat this public health concern -- even in a socially distant world.
The Sugars get an update from "Head or the Heart" -- a woman who'd fallen in love with a man with a troubled childhood. She worried that the traumas of his past could surface at some point in their relationship. Nine months later, is she still with her boyfriend? The Sugars find out. This episode was originally published on August 12th, 2016.
The Sugars catch up with "Two Truths and Many Lies," whose letter about her husband's infidelity generated significant interest and advice from our listeners. Did she stay with her husband or walk away? The Sugars find out.
Redux: Sexual Fluidity

Redux: Sexual Fluidity


"Whatever" -- that's how the actress Maria Bello describes her sexual orientation. Her "love who you love" attitude toward sexuality, regardless of gender, is often referred to as fluidity. Maria joins the Sugars this week to discuss a couple of letters having to do with the confusion and complications that can accompany a shift in one's sexual preferences and partnerships. This episode was originally published on March 3rd, 2017.
Divorce is always a painful process, but it's especially so when there are children in the middle. This week, the Sugars discuss situations of parental alienation caused by divorce. They answer letters from a mother and a father whose daughters have cut off all communication with them after taking the other parent's side.
Part 2 of "Dear Sugar Radio: The Writers Resist" at The Aladdin Theater in Portland, Oregon. They discuss how to counteract post-election cynicism with Zahir Janmohamed, writer and co-host of the podcast "Racist Sandwich," and they answer questions from the audience in rapid-fire fashion. This episode was originally released on January 27th, 2017.
On November 9th, 2016 -- the day after Donald Trump became America's President-elect -- the Dear Sugar inbox was flooded with emails asking some version of the question, "How do we move forward as a nation from here?" In this episode, the Sugars bring that question before an audience at The Aladdin Theater in Portland, Oregon. This episode was originally released on January 20th, 2017.
Redux: Friendships

Redux: Friendships


Everyone has had a friendship quandary of some sort in the past, right? This week, the Sugars take on frequently asked questions in "rapid fire" fashion – from hating your best friend's significant other, to hating her politics.
The Sugars often discuss letters dealing with very specific problems or struggles. This week, they take on a broader, more existential question -- how to follow your heart. This episode was originally released July 28th, 2016.
When the Sugars answered a letter from a woman who felt trapped in the role of "wicked stepmother," dozens of listeners wrote in asking the same question: what about the stepchildren, who have no control over the restructuring of their family? The Sugars respond with an episode devoted to the other side of the story. They're joined by Jane Alison, author of the memoir "The Sisters Antipodes," which tells the story of how her parents swapped spouses with another couple when she was 4 years old. This episode was originally published on November 18th, 2016.
Age is just a number in many contexts, but when it comes to finding long-lasting love, an age gap between partners can greatly impact the course of the relationship — both in positive and challenging ways.
"Madness" is a new investigative series from our fellow WBUR podcast, Endless Thread. Told in 5 parts, "Madness" unravels the shocking history of CIA-funded mind-control experiments. In the first episode, Endless Thread presents powerful accounts of abuse at a psychiatric hospital in Montreal, and introduces the renowned doctor who conducted these disturbing experiments on his unwitting patients.
We find out what happened to two letter writers who let self-image sabotage their love lives. The Sugars find out if “Scared to Choose Wrong” married her fiancé, and they give “Aspiring Warrior for Love” a call to see how he’s changed since hearing the Sugars’ advice more than a year ago. The episode was originally released on February 3rd, 2018.
In today’s update episode, we check in with some of our most memorable letter writers from previous episodes. The Sugars find out if “Struggling” was kicked out of his mother’s house, and they give “Bad Mom” a call to see if and how her views of motherhood have changed since hearing the Sugars’ advice more than two years ago. This episode was originally published on January 27th, 2018.
Comments (52)


feel sad

Jun 21st
Reply (1)

Cristina Rios

Go to 30:36 for practical advice on healing your relationship with your body

May 30th


This goes out to the girl in a rut; I wish u the best of luck with trying to find yourself. I can totally relate to your letter and the advice given to you from dear sugars- guess it’s good to know you aren’t alone.

May 2nd

Emily Wallace

Hi Sugars! I was wondering what the name of the theme song for this podcast song was? I love the tune and would love the opportunity to listen to the full song. Thanks!

Mar 26th

Robin Miller

For six months I have scoured the podcast universe seeking some words of solace to help me recover from the most severe heartbreak I've experienced to date. It was the kind of breakup compounded by the fact that it triggered so many losses and traumas that preceded it. Alas, I have found what I was looking for! Maybe I was just ready to hear it, or maybe this is one of the most insightful podcasts on the loss and grief of the end of a dream of love. Or, it was a perfect storm of catharsis and I've stumbled on a little of both. Bravo! Brava!

Mar 10th

Alaina Zulli

this episode appears to be mislabelled?

Jan 19th

Kelsey Barros

This episode was SO great 💯💯💯

Jan 18th

Beth Sykes

you are setting that poor child.up for horrible feelings. I've read from adults saying how they felt being raised under their dead siblings memory. mentu9ng the dead child so much to the living child, ti the point the poor toddler mentions the dead baby is abusive

Nov 7th
Reply (1)

Beth Sykes

a Landscape Architect is not a landscaper. a landscaper installs plants. A Landscape Architect is a licensed professional who engineers and designs roadways, site plans, decks, master plans, grading and urban planning projects.

Nov 2nd

Kim Sanders

This episode really hit it home. It doesn't matter what kind of addiction you are dealing with in a relationship, the symptoms are the same. In my particular situation, it is online sites porn and dating sites that my husband cannot seem to stop. We are currently separated after battling this for 8 years. Thank you for some eye opening 'ah ha' advice. Ariel really hit it on the head, we may not have chose their addiction but as she said, it is our choice to accept it or not. You all are also right; unless they are actively seeking and engaging in recovery, they are not and it will not stick. I needed this.

Oct 13th

Molly Doyle

Ah!! Why does the episode end before it's supposed to?

Oct 10th

James Green

Am a supplier of loud⛽,carts and blunts ready to go 📦 add me up on snapchat👻: theplugsplug04 to secure your order🔥

Oct 2nd

Samantha Green

The other OTHER half of sexless relationships is probably suprising to a lot of ppl but there are lots of ppl in outright abusive or borderline abusive relationships that simply refuse to reward bad behavior w/good sex. Cuz if ur partner is treating u bad, in any way, or if they're controlling or possessive, the last thing u want to do w/them is "it" Specially since they REALLY won't have a reason to act right then! Some men should ask themselves if their wife could be not doing the deed because of his behaviors during the week....

Aug 12th
Reply (2)

Alanna M thanks. where are ya sugars?

Feb 20th

Lisa Lawson

10 NEON 20.18. GOD

Jan 18th


a day q,., ñl ..

Dec 4th

Amir Hosseinpour

such a wonderful story ... learn a lot from her👌

Sep 29th


“You don’t take on stress by suppressing your feelings and what you struggle with” ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Sep 29th

Jean Jay

I'm going to miss this podcast, but I'm so very grateful.

Sep 25th

Ali Jones Jones

I am ten years out from an abusive man and have been miserable every single day missing him, crying, praying, my life is really bad because if this. I know it's crazy but I have tried everything. I just want him back and have never had one date w another guy since we split. I never see anyone who I am attracted to. My kids are grown and I'm alone and am very depressed. I wish someone could make this pain go away. Please pray for me. I just want to be happy again!

Sep 25th
Reply (4)
Download from Google Play
Download from App Store