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Dear Sugars

Author: WBUR

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Radically empathic advice
155 Episodes
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From our partners at WBUR, Endless Thread is a podcast featuring amazing stories found on Reddit. This story is about a growing movement that hits close to home. It's about the hundreds of thousands of people who are choosing to be childfree -- to never have kids. This choice is becoming more common, yet it's still questioned ferociously.
“It’s only when my pants are nearly impossible to button that I force myself to lose weight,” writes the letter-writer who calls herself Body Negative. “And then the pattern starts all over again.” Hilary Kinavey, M.S., L.P.C., and Dana Sturtevant, M.S., R.D., the co-owners of Be Nourished, join the Sugars on today’s episode to offer Body Negative and women like her some hope. This episode was originally released on June 11th, 2018.
The erotic lives of senior citizens are typically made invisible by our culture, which can lead to confusion and misinformation. Dr. Pepper Schwartz, the love and relationship columnist for AARP, joins the Sugars to dispel certain myths about sex and aging: Do libidos change after menopause? How does the aging body affect the way we feel about sex? Should medical interventions be considered for a declining sex drive? This episode was originally released on May 25th, 2018.
Words can be wielded like weapons. On today’s episode, the Sugars hear from people who have something to confess but are afraid to hurt others with the power of their words. This episode was originally released on December 9th, 2017.
In this special episode of Dear Sugars, Steve Almond is a featured guest on the Spoke Media podcast "Hot and Bothered." 
Dear Sugars' sister podcast, Kind World, recently produced a special series featuring stories of kindness and compassion at the U.S.-Mexico border. It's called "Lifelines" and tells stories of ordinary people who've stepped up in extraordinary ways during an ongoing humanitarian crisis. This story is called, "A Place Of Respite."
The Sugars answer a voicemail message from the Dear Sugars hotline. The message comes from a woman who reunited with her ex-boyfriend, who once assaulted her. Wracked with shame, she wonders if reconciling with him is acceptable and if it’s possible he’ll change. Esta Soler, president and founder of Futures Without Violence, joins the Sugars to help answer the question: Is it O.K. to love someone who abused you? This episode was originally released on April 21st, 2018.
Shortly after the birth of her first child, a letter-writer who calls herself “Tantrum Daughter” lost her mother to suicide. Now, with a second child on the way, Tantrum Daughter is overcome with pain and anger. After reading Morgan Jerkins’s essay “How I Overcame My Anger as a Black Writer Online,” the Sugars enlist her help to answer Tantrum Daughter’s letter. This episode was originally released on May 12th, 2018.
Snooping on your spouse is generally ill-advised, but what if he or she has an addiction and is constantly lying about it? The Sugars answer this question with the help of writer Ariel Levy. This episode was originally released on December 2nd, 2017
In this special episode of Dear Sugars, Cheryl Strayed is a featured guest on the Slate podcast How To! with Charles Duhigg. We hear from Megan who is 35 years old, a lawyer, happily married — and suddenly not sure if she wants to be a mom. She always figured one day the maternal urge would kick in, but so far she’s only felt ambivalence. Does that mean that she shouldn’t have a baby? Cheryl tells us how she juggled this question when there is no going back, and how regret — regardless of what we choose — is always part of the equation.Subscribe to How To! with Charles Duhigg at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-with-charles-duhigg/id1469631127
At age 18, we are granted the rights and responsibilities of adulthood in the eyes of the law. But for parents of young adults, it’s not so clear cut. When is the right time to wean your children off the family payroll? The Sugars tackle this question with the help of Dr. Kate Gale. This episode was originally released on December 23rd, 2017.
Most of us have days when we don’t feel attractive. But in this episode, the Sugars read letters from people whose faces are at odds with conventional ideas of beauty. The writer Ariel Henley joins the Sugars to talk about her own facial differences. Henley was born with Crouzon Syndrome. As a child, she underwent dozens of surgeries that permanently changed the shape of her face. This episode was originally released December 16th, 2017.
It’s healthy to cultivate friendships outside of your romantic relationships. But sometimes, they can be the source of jealousy and resentment. So when is jealousy actually justified? In this rapid-fire episode, the Sugars weigh in on this question and offer ways to confront and neutralize feelings of jealousy. This episode was originally released on March 31st, 2018.
The Sugars are joined by Hillary Clinton to answer a letter about female ambition. This episode was originally released on November 18th, 2017.
Whether you’re 5, 15, or 50 years old, it can be difficult to usher a stepparent in and out of the family unit. In today’s episode, the Sugars answer letters from stepchildren who have fraught relationships with their stepparents. What is a stepparent’s responsibility to a stepchild after divorce? And what can be done if you don’t like the person your parent chooses to marry? This episode was originally released on April 28th, 2018.
The #MeToo movement deluged the Dear Sugars inbox with letters about sexual harassment in the workplace. In the final episode in our series on sexual consent, the Sugars read some of these letters and discuss what happens when non-consensual sexual attention moves from the private to the public realm. This episode was originally published on March 24th, 2018. 
Some sexual encounters are obviously consensual, while others are obviously not. But what about those that are neither black nor white? In the second episode in our series on sexual consent, the Sugars plunge deeper into the gray area. This episode was originally published on March 17th, 2018.
In the midst of the #MeToo Movement, women and men all over the country are re-examining sexual encounters from their past. Over the course of a three-part series on consent, the Sugars answer letters from some of these women and explore the complexity and nuance of sexual consent. This episode was originally published on March 10th, 2018.
Buzz Bissinger owns more than 100 pairs of leather pants and over 200 pairs of leather gloves, having spent more than $600,000 on leather goods in the span of three years. Mr. Bissinger has a spending addiction, and he joins the Sugars to offer guidance to a letter-writer whose therapist and family don’t take her spending seriously. This episode was originally published on April 14th, 2018.
When a family experiences loss, familial roles are often redefined. In this episode, the Sugars answer letters from people who are unexpectedly charged with caring for new family members. This episode was originally released on February 10th, 2018.
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Comments (43)

Beth Sykes

you are setting that poor child.up for horrible feelings. I've read from adults saying how they felt being raised under their dead siblings memory. mentu9ng the dead child so much to the living child, ti the point the poor toddler mentions the dead baby is abusive

Nov 7th
Reply (1)

Beth Sykes

a Landscape Architect is not a landscaper. a landscaper installs plants. A Landscape Architect is a licensed professional who engineers and designs roadways, site plans, decks, master plans, grading and urban planning projects.

Nov 2nd
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Kim Sanders

This episode really hit it home. It doesn't matter what kind of addiction you are dealing with in a relationship, the symptoms are the same. In my particular situation, it is online sites porn and dating sites that my husband cannot seem to stop. We are currently separated after battling this for 8 years. Thank you for some eye opening 'ah ha' advice. Ariel really hit it on the head, we may not have chose their addiction but as she said, it is our choice to accept it or not. You all are also right; unless they are actively seeking and engaging in recovery, they are not and it will not stick. I needed this.

Oct 13th
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Molly Doyle

Ah!! Why does the episode end before it's supposed to?

Oct 10th
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James Green

Am a supplier of loud⛽,carts and blunts ready to go 📦 add me up on snapchat👻: theplugsplug04 to secure your order🔥

Oct 2nd
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Samantha Green

The other OTHER half of sexless relationships is probably suprising to a lot of ppl but there are lots of ppl in outright abusive or borderline abusive relationships that simply refuse to reward bad behavior w/good sex. Cuz if ur partner is treating u bad, in any way, or if they're controlling or possessive, the last thing u want to do w/them is "it" Specially since they REALLY won't have a reason to act right then! Some men should ask themselves if their wife could be not doing the deed because of his behaviors during the week....

Aug 12th
Reply (1)

Alanna M

mmmm...no thanks. where are ya sugars?

Feb 20th
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Lisa Lawson

10 NEON 20.18. GOD

Jan 18th
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niamh

a day q,., ñl ..

Dec 4th
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Amir Hosseinpour

such a wonderful story ... learn a lot from her👌

Sep 29th
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Lanabaynaa

“You don’t take on stress by suppressing your feelings and what you struggle with” ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Sep 29th
Reply

Jean Jay

I'm going to miss this podcast, but I'm so very grateful.

Sep 25th
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Ali Jones Jones

I am ten years out from an abusive man and have been miserable every single day missing him, crying, praying, my life is really bad because if this. I know it's crazy but I have tried everything. I just want him back and have never had one date w another guy since we split. I never see anyone who I am attracted to. My kids are grown and I'm alone and am very depressed. I wish someone could make this pain go away. Please pray for me. I just want to be happy again!

Sep 25th
Reply (4)

Virginia Morgan

Miss you guys!

Sep 24th
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Jozigal M

Amanda is amazing!! So freeing!

Sep 12th
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fruit loppp

nooo

Sep 9th
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Clara smith

so sorry this is your final episode. you both are so excellent. such great show. makes me sad

Sep 6th
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PARK EUNHA

please don't go 😢

Sep 1st
Reply

Zhihan Yu

When are you guys uploading?😭

Jul 5th
Reply

Susan C

I love what you say regarding your own experience to Widows Fiance," "you can replace your wife, but I can't replace my mother. "

Apr 26th
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