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Death, Sex & Money

Death, Sex & Money

Author: WNYC Studios

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Death, Sex & Money is a podcast about the big questions and hard choices that are often left out of polite conversation. Host Anna Sale talks to celebrities you've heard of—and to regular people you haven't—about the Big Stuff: relationships, money, family, work and making it all count while we're here.

WNYC Studios is the producer of other leading podcasts including Freakonomics Radio, Note to Self, Here’s the Thing with Alec Baldwin and many others.
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Manhood, Now
"Don’t be weak. Don’t be small. Don’t be poor. Don’t be emotional. Don’t be feminine. Don’t be aggressive. Don’t be unapproachable. Don’t be sexist. Don’t be patronizing. Don’t be entitled. Don’t be unemotional. Don’t be big. Don’t be loud.You might notice a lot of contradictions here."We're in a moment where what it means to be a man is shifting—and to some men, it feels like there are a lot of mixed messages floating around. As one man put it to us, "there’s a very unclear set of expectations as far as how a man should behave." But while we've heard a lot of talk about men in this moment, we've heard fewer conversations with men. So we asked you: what's the most confusing thing about being a man today?A recent college graduate named Alex, 23, worries about women not seeing him as masculine enough and explains why he spends time in toxic corners of “the manosphere.” A kindergarten teacher named Jack, 33, says his students embrace gender fluidity in the classroom, but as a trans man, he has found himself running up against gender norms outside school. Dre, 47, a former drug dealer who’s now a business owner, thinks back on the life-and-death stakes of being seen as masculine when he was dealing and reflects on how his values have changed since. And Luke*, 71, describes what it means for him to be an “impotent older man” after finding his identity as a young man through lots of casual sex.In their stories, and in those of the other men we spoke to for this episode, we heard confusion, ambivalence, resentment, and also optimism—a sense that in this moment of transition, there's more space for men to figure out what kind of men they actually want to be. Others feel unmoored without a new roadmap to follow. "I get this kind of paralysis," a listener named Duane told me, "Where you’re trying to be all these different things at the same time and unlearn past behaviors, and I know I’m not the only one that gets stuck there."There’s a very unclear set of expectations as far as how a man should behave.Beyond our conversations with Death, Sex & Money listeners, we also wanted to get a sense of how men are thinking about being men right now on a broader scale. So in partnership with FiveThirtyEight and SurveyMonkey, we surveyed over 1600 American men about what they learned about being men, where they learned it from, and which lessons they’re rethinking in this moment. You can see the full results of that survey data here, but here are a few statistics that stood out to us:A majority of men said that they feel external pressure from society, and those numbers are especially high for younger men.On top of feeling pressure from society, men also feel their own internal stresses, especially around issues of body image and money. But even as they feel those stresses, many men deal with them alone. Nearly half said they frequently or sometimes feel lonely, more than 40% say they've never or rarely ask a friend for personal advice, and more than two-thirds of men say they've never been to see a therapist. To read more findings from the survey, head over to FiveThirtyEight. *Name changed Click here to read a transcript of the episode.We want to hear your reactions to this episode! Share them on social using the hashtag #ManhoodNow, or email us: deathsexmoney@wnyc.org We'll also be continuing the conversation about manhood today with a live national call-in on public radio stations around the country on July 11, 2018, at 9PM EST/ 6PM PST. Check to see if your local station is carrying it, or stream it live on wnyc.org. Loading...

Manhood, Now

2018-06-2000:44:354

John Prine Wanted to Be Normal
I've loved John Prine's music a long time—I grew up singing his songs around campfires in West Virginia. But before he was a regular in my music collection, John was performing at open mics in Chicago, and paying his bills by delivering mail. So when he hit it big with his first album in 1971, he says that getting use to fame was a shock. "I was writing about things private to me and dear to me," he told me. "And to have people know me before they shook my hand was odd to me." And John says that in his life, he's felt odd himself. "That’s how I ended up making my living, being Mr. Oddball," he says. "I get these thoughts, and I like to make them into songs. They might sound odd at the time, but then people connect to them throughout their life. And it turns out I’m doing something that may resemble something solid."In the years since getting famous, John has started a family, battled cancer twice, and along the way, gotten more comfortable with being known. His new album is The Tree of Forgiveness—and it's brought him the best album sales of his career. To get it written, John told me, his wife and stepson sent him to a hotel room in Nashville and told him to get to work. "I would knock around during the day and go get a hot dog," he told me about his writing process. "And at nighttime, I’d start writing about three in the morning, order room service up, have a party by myself and end up with a couple songs every day."    

Hot Dates: Romance Right Now

2018-05-3000:27:1111

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Comments (13)

Nope Ninja

death sex & money I'm crying it is so touching. This is so needed and relevant. We need to reconcile how we all need to switch gears when it comes to gender roles.

Jun 21st
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jackieblue361

I love Anna's interview style and the variety of stories she does. Going back and listening to all shows!

May 31st
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David Thomas Schildt

overall, DS&M changed how I speak interpersonally, for the better. love it

May 15th
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Ryan Brown

Anna has a great voice, is easy to listen to, and tells great stories that I can enjoy while I'm running around on my tractor. (LoL!) Just marry that fella Arthur already, he seems like a great guy!

Dec 20th
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Wendy Harris

This episode hurt..

Dec 17th
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Akbarali Khamzaev

time

Nov 26th
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Muhammad Lucious

this has been my favorite podcast next to Snapjudgment

Oct 29th
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David Norton

if it cost all I have is a google play card. for $25.00 & how many do I get

Oct 16th
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iTunes User

I am already wishing it was next week so I can listen to the next episode. This show is on par with This American Life and Radio Lab, that says a lot.

Aug 30th
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iTunes User

I can't understand how this hasn't been done before. It's such a fantastic idea. And I doubt anyone will be able to top this format. What a fantastic podcast! Enrich your life with this!

Aug 30th
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robert rich

,,zxzzz,,z,zz,😙xzxzx, Z x

Aug 18th
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Brandon Brokaw

M.I. hears you

Jul 10th
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Brandon Brokaw

very interesting and cool, it was like i was meeting them too!

Jul 10th
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