Claim OwnershipDecoding Narcissism, Manipulation And Toxic Ideas, with Frederik Ribersson
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© Frederik Ribersson
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Narcissists manipulate others using toxic ideas. In this podcast, we decode narcissists and how they operate, we expose and deconstruct toxic ideas, and we learn how to negotiate effectively with narcissists. And, last but not least, we learn to break the toxic patterns during and after relationships, disinfect mental wounds and heal, so we can have a happy life afterwards and limit the damage narcissists inflict upon us.
#fribersson #narcissism #narcissist #npd
#fribersson #narcissism #narcissist #npd
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After a toxic relationship, it can be common to obsess over what happened - and even date more people who present the same symptoms of personality disorder. Why?
This episode explores some potential reasons -and what to do to avoid this.
Knowing red flags is helpful in avoiding narcissists BUT if we conflate them with red lights, it can PREVENT us from actually moving forward. It is vital to know the difference between red flags we learn to recognise and actual red lights.
In the episode, we review what red flags are, why they are NOT red flights. And we look at what red herrings are, and why confused thinking makes us more vulnerable to narcissists.
There are 6 levels of lying, from the least bad to the absolute worst. Once we recognise them, we are less easy to manipulate and be gaslit. The levels are:
1. Being wrong (technically not lying)
2. Hyperbole
3. Spinning
4. Lying
And the two narcissist / cult levels are:
5. Brain washing (selling a world narrative that is false / unverifiable)
6. Gaslighting (telling you that "you are not seeing what you think you are seeing".
Laura was a guest in a guesthouse. But she acted as though we were her guests: she bossed people around, and was obnoxious. But one lie she told uncovered the truth, and she turned on me. This is the sad story of Laura, little dog Simba, and some reflexions on how to spot and deal with toxic people and narcissists.
She had had a bad breakup after 20 years with someone, 15 of which he had been obnoxious and presented symptoms of having a personality disorder. And she could not wrap her head around this. But I figured out how to reframe the situation for her to get it. She laughed, snapped out of the hypnosis, and FINALLY turned the page. This is the story.
Narcissists rely on lies that are propped up by other lies. Why? It makes it easier for them to manipulate us. It is hard to believe one person can lie so much. But also, by relying on a "mesh network", it means that even if one lie is exposed, the network of lies still resists. And we are more likely to just shrug off anomaly after anomaly.
Until we realise what is happening, the whole network crashes and we experience a "narrative collapse", where our whole world view seems crazy.
Learn to recognise this, and make yourself less vulnerable to their manipulation.
Narcissists and cults, whether spiritual or political, brainwash people in order to control them. Fortunately, there are certain tells that we have been brainwashed. And once we are aware of these, it becomes less hard to deprogram ourselves and start to think clearly again. This applies to narcissists in romantic relationships, at work, in NGOs, political movements, and in "spiritual groups".
Narcissists lie, a lot. And for the lies to work, they rely (pun?) on us "reading between the lines". While this is a good idea with healthy people, it is a terrible idea with liars. So instead, when someone says something weird, you can ask this question: what do you mean?
Narcissists count on us to politely fill the blanks. And they like to be obnoxious to trigger us. But what happens when we don't do what they want, and do this instead?
I share two stories of meeting people and they did something that was really off, signalling with high probability they might be narcissists. Or at least jerks and really unpleasant to be around. I share both stories and observations.
Everyone makes bad decisions sometimes. So it’s easy to assume that all bad decisions are « good faith bad decisions ». But narcissists game this. And we can figure out when. In this episode, I share how.
Toxic people and narcissists are often mean. And then nice. Or first nice, and then mean. And it seems to make no sense. But there is a really good reason why they act this way. And it probably explains why those relationships are doomed for failure.
Narcissists are a bad deal. So let's see if tools used to analyse deals can help us identify toxic relationships and make more sense of why they are such a... bad deal.
#npd #narcissism #narcissist #toxicrelationship
It is increasingly common for people to think like narcissists. And until we're aware of what that looks like, there is a risk we do too. We know narcissists have a simplistic view of the world. Here is how you can spot a "narclogic view", why it is nonsense, how you can debunk it (if you need to) and how you can avoid getting caught up in exhausting narcissist games.
#narcissism #manipulation #npd #narcissist
I read the introduction to my upcoming book regarding common mistakes people make about narcissism, which prevent them from healing and getting their lives back on track. I share a bit of my backstory and some thoughts about why this is important.
Narcissists love to infiltrate and take over groups. It's less effort than creating a group. There are certain patterns they follow. I observe 6 stages of the takeover. Hopefully this will make you less vulnerable.
Narcissists will claim to know a lot. They will appear certain. And yet, many of the things they claim to know are... unknowable. Or it is not possible for them to be as certain as they are. In this episode, I share some thoughts to avoid falling for the "certainty = credibility" trap.
I just came across an article "what words can destroy a narcissist" on some website. I think it was generated by AI. And it was full of really toxic ideas and thought structures. I recorded my debunking of these ideas that WILL backfire on anyone who tries them.
I really dislike when people take advantage of others. And it's important to recognise bad and unhelpful ideas.
Cults and Narcissists use nearly identical manipulation tricks that are very effective - until we recognise them and debunk them. In this episode I share 6 of these tricks they play and make some suggestions to make yourself less vulnerable.
Here is a sneak preview of some ideas I explore in the book I am writing on narcissism. I finally found an angle I think is relevant and would love to hear what you think. I list the 11 mistakes below.
And if you'd like to accelerate your healing process, why not see if the Healing After Narcissists course might be helpful? It comes with a money back guarantee: https://healingafternarcissists.ribersson.com
The mistakes are:
1. Wanting to diagnose
2. Wanting to understand
3. Wanting to fix them
4. Wanting to not see the obvious
5. Wanting to believe it's our fault, i.e. it's fixable and it's something we did
6. Wanting to always learn more (become obsessed)
7. Wanting to not let go
8. Wanting to believe someone has the answers
9. Wanting a simplistic answer (worldview)
10. Wanting to be validated
11. Wanting a distraction
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