Why I’m Still Healing...And What I Wish Someone Told Me SoonerFor a long time, I believed that healing meant fixing myself.If I could just do enough inner work, clear enough trauma, become calm, kind, and wise all the time, then I’d finally be whole, awake, complete.But over time, I came to see that all that effort to “heal” was actually coming from a subtle self‑rejection.In this episode of Deep Resilience, I share my personal journey of letting go of spiritual perfectionism (still working on it, still practicing it), and finally embracing the path of true spiritual and psychological healing. How it changed my whole paradigm of what spirituality is, and how I now practice it in daily life.I also share a simple practice you can use to bring this more effective, compassionate approach to healing into your own life - even with your most difficult patterns, thoughts and parts of yourself.Resources & LinksJoin Becoming Love: https://melliobrien.com/becoming-love/Free meditations: https://melliobrien.com/free-meditations/My book Deep Resilience: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/
A Simple Way To Reduce Conflict: A Relational Spiritual PracticeConflicts with others can be one of the greatest sources of stress and suffering in our lives.But what if there was a simple mindset shift that could help you reduce conflict within yourself, and shift to more helpful ways of relating with others?In this episode of Deep Resilience, I explore a powerful practice that can diffuse inner tension, reduce emotional reactivity, and turn moments of friction into opportunities for connection and growth.In this episode, we explore:The hidden stories that fuel conflictWhy anger often masks deeper emotions like hurt or fearHow assumptions can escalate tension, and what to do insteadHow one simple shift can become a powerful relational and spiritual practice for yourself, no matter what happens outsideThis episode is for you if...You’ve been feeling reactive or easily triggered in your relationshipsYou want to create more harmony and less stress in your lifeYou’re committed to growing spiritually through everyday interactionsResources & LinksJoin Becoming Love (starts Nov 20): https://melliobrien.com/becoming-love/ Free meditations: https://melliobrien.com/free-meditations/My book Deep Resilience: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/
Being Love vs. Seeking LoveWe all want love.We long for the fullness, wholeness, and peace we sense it will bring.But so often, the love we seek feels elusive, and even when we find it, it rarely satisfies us the way we hoped.Erich Fromm, in his classic book The Art of Loving, suggested that our frustration in love comes from a misunderstanding.We chase love without learning the skill of being love.In this episode, I’ll explore two very different approaches:Seeking love: the habitual, ego-driven pursuit of approval, worth, and validationBeing love: a deeper practice of embodying love as your natureYou’ll learn how the mind’s evolutionary wiring sets us up for seeking, and how you can shift from striving to standing in love, from searching to becoming it.Resources & LinksJoin Becoming Love (starts Nov 20): https://melliobrien.com/becoming-love/ Free meditations: https://melliobrien.com/free-meditations/ My book Deep Resilience: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/
In times of crisis or challenge, it’s natural to feel a certain amount of stress.But we often make things harder by focusing on everything we can’t control: what others are doing, what might happen next, or what’s already happened and can’t be changed. The more we focus on what’s outside of our control, the more helpless, frustrated, and reactive we become.But when we shift our attention to what is within our control we begin to reclaim our power.In this episode, I’ll guide you through two simple steps to move from reactivity to empowerment.You’ll learn how to centre yourself, clarify what’s truly within your control, and take calm, purposeful, effective action even when life feels chaotic.This practice helps you meet life’s challenges with more steadiness, wisdom, and strength.Over time, it trains your mind to stay focused on what matters most, and to act from presence instead of fear.Resources & Links:Free guided meditations to support your practice: https://melliobrien.com/free-meditations/My book Deep Resilience: A four-step framework for unshakable calm and wisdom: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/
How to Let Go of a Grudge (and Set Yourself Free)We’ve all felt hurt by someone else’s words or actions, and sometimes that pain lingers long after the moment has passed.When we hold on to resentment, it weighs us down, fuels stress, and closes our hearts. In this episode, I share a gentle, three-step practice for letting go of a grudge and setting yourself free.You’ll learn how to see the situation with objectivity and understanding, hold healthy boundaries, make space for imperfection, and choose forgiveness — not to excuse what happened, but to release the heaviness you’ve been carrying.Because when we learn to meet hurt and resentment with awareness and skill, it doesn’t break us, it awakens us.Resources & Links:Free guided meditations to support your practice: https://melliobrien.com/free-meditations/My book Deep Resilience — a four-step framework for unshakable calm and wisdom: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/
Drop One BurdenMost of us carry around far more mental baggage than we need to.Old resentments. Grievances. Self-judgment. Worries that loop endlessly.These mental burdens weigh us down. They steal our energy, fuel stress and negativity, and keep us from feeling the freedom and peace that are already here.In this episode, I share a simple but powerful practice: drop one burden.We’ll look at how to notice the mental baggage you’ve been carrying, how to discern what’s useful from what’s just rumination, and how to set down what no longer serves you.Even dropping just one burden can create a surprising sense of ease and lightness. And over time, this practice opens up more space for peace, joy, and wholeness in your daily life.Resources & Links:Free guided meditations to support your practice: https://melliobrien.com/free-meditations/My book Deep Resilience — a four-step framework for unshakable calm and wisdom: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/
The Four Steps to a Paradigm ShiftHave you ever noticed how much your beliefs shape the way you experience the world? Those beliefs form our paradigms. And when a paradigm is unhelpful. When it keeps us stuck in stress, cynicism, or old habits — it quietly limits how we live. The good news is: we can shift them.In this episode, I’ll share a simple four-step process for creating a paradigm shift. You’ll learn how to:Recognise the beliefs that are holding you back.Question them with openness and curiosity.Try on more empowering, life-giving perspectives.Practice them until they become second nature.These small steps can lead to profound changes — not just in how you see the world, but in how you show up in it.Resources & Links🌿 Free guided meditations to support your practice: https://melliobrien.com/free-meditations/📖 My book Deep Resilience — a four-step framework for unshakable strength and wisdom: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/
Love Back BiggerIt’s easy to be kind when others treat us kindly. The real test is when someone hurts, disappoints, or lets us down. In those moments, our instinct is often to lash out, blame, or retaliate — and before we know it, we’re caught in cycles of hostility that leave us depleted.In this episode, I invite you to practice what I call loving back bigger. It doesn’t mean being a pushover. Sometimes we absolutely need to set boundaries, speak up, or stand our ground. But it does mean learning how to do those things without losing ourselves in reactivity, resentment, or hatred.Together, we’ll explore how to:Remember the shared humanity in those who hurt us.Release blame and reactivity, even when it feels justified.Stay true to your own values instead of being dragged down into the behaviour of others.Even the smallest steps toward loving back bigger can restore your own peace of mind and free you from cycles of anger.Resources & LinksFree guided meditations to support your practice: https://melliobrien.com/free-meditations/ My book Deep Resilience — a four-step framework for unshakable inner strength: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/
The 5 Habits for Inner PeaceLife is full of ups and downs. Moments of joy, moments of struggle, moments of everything in between. We can’t always control what happens, but we can learn to meet it all from a deeper place of steadiness and calm.In this episode, I share five simple yet powerful habits for cultivating inner peace. From meditation to everyday mindfulness practices, each one helps us return to presence, release resistance, and reconnect with the wholeness that’s always within us.These are not complicated techniques. They’re small shifts. Things you can begin today that, over time, weave more peace, wisdom, and fullfillment into the fabric of your life.You’ll also hear a story of a Zen master whose mantra points us to a radical kind of acceptance, one that transforms how we relate to life itself.Resources & LinksFree guided meditations and a 10-day mindfulness course to support your practice: https://melliobrien.com/free-meditations/
What Is Wisdom? (And Why It Matters Now More Than Ever) David Attenborough recently said: ‘If human beings are to survive, we’ll need more than just intelligence. We’ll need wisdom.’But what is wisdom exactly? And how do we bring wisdom into our everyday lives?In this episode, we’ll explore together:A clear and practical way of understanding what wisdom actually is (and what it isn’t)How wisdom helps us move beyond stress, fear, and survival patterns into greater calm, clarity, and connection'The Seven Strengths of the Deep Self' and how they can guide your life.Three simple ways you can begin cultivating wisdom todayThis isn’t about abstract philosophy. It’s about rediscovering a deeper intelligence that’s already within you, and learning how to live from it, for your own peace, your relationships, and even for the wellbeing of the planet.Resources & LinksMy book Deep Resilience — a four step framework for unshakable strength and wisdom: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/ 🎧 Free guided meditations to help you connect with your deeper self and start cultivating wisdom today: https://melliobrien.com/free-meditations/ Next EpisodeIn the next episode, I’ll share some simple ways to weave mindfulness into daily life, so you can return to presence again and again — and let wisdom flow through you.
The Main Way People Get Stuck in Personal Growth (and How to Move Forward)Ever tried to change a painful pattern — like anxiety, self-doubt, or stress — only to find yourself looping back again and again?In this episode, Melli shares the surprising missing piece that keeps so many people stuck, why our brains naturally resist change, and a simple practice to help you connect with your inner strength so growth feels easier and more sustainable.Try this week’s practice: Anchoring Meditation – To Grow Your Inner Resources Click Here https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-care-package-day2/ This meditation has been a game changer for thousands of people around the world, helping them stabilise in calm, strength, and clarity so change flows more naturally.📖 Learn more in Melli's book Deep Resilience: melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book
What Everyone Gets Wrong About Other People (and How to See More Clearly)Have you ever jumped to conclusions about someone—only to later find out you were completely wrong?Our minds are constantly making assumptions about others, often without us even realizing it. And thanks to our brain’s built-in negativity bias, we tend to assume the worst more than the best.In this episode, Melli unpacks the subtle mental habit that leads to so much unnecessary conflict, misunderstanding, and disconnection—and how to shift it.You’ll discover:Why our brains are wired to fill in the blanks (and often get it wrong)The surprising consequences of assumption-based thinkingHow a small shift in perspective can transform your relationshipsA weekly practice to help you stay open, grounded, and connectedThis is a powerful episode for anyone looking to strengthen their relationships and build a more peaceful, mindful way of relating to others—and themselves.🎁 Join the Deep Resilience Experience (starting July 15th!)A 30-day guided course to reset your mind and build lasting inner strength with short daily lessons, transformative meditations, and live coaching support from Melli.🌀 Sign up here: melliobrien.com/30daycourse
The Phrase That Steals Your Power (and What to Say Instead)How often do you catch yourself saying “I can’t”? It might seem small, but this tiny phrase can quietly drain your energy, disconnect you from your values, and leave you feeling powerless.In this episode, Melli shares how shifting your self-talk from “I can’t” to “I choose not to” can be a game changer for your mindset and emotional well-being. This simple language tweak can help you reclaim your agency and act from a place of clarity and purpose.You’ll learn:Why “I can’t” reinforces a subtle sense of helplessnessHow “I choose not to” reconnects you with your values and powerHow to use this practice to uncover limiting beliefs and step into wiser choicesThis is a powerful mindset tool for anyone ready to break free from mental loops and start living with more intention.🧠 Feeling stuck in unhelpful mental patterns?Join The Deep Resilience Experience — a 30-day guided reset to help you reclaim your inner strength. Just 15 minutes a day of micro-lessons, evidence-based practices, and transformative meditations to rewire your mind in deep and lasting ways.Starts July 15th. Early bird bonuses end June 30th.👉 melliobrien.com/30daycourse
How to Find Your Strength in Times of Grief, Crisis, or StressWhen life falls apart—through grief, heartbreak, crisis, or overwhelming stress—it’s easy to feel like everything steady has been stripped away. But even in our hardest moments, there’s something we can always come back to. Something that can anchor us, guide us, and help us rise with clarity and strength.In this episode, Melli shares one of the most powerful tools for inner resilience: reconnecting with your values.You’ll discover:The incredible story of Viktor Frankl and the human freedom no one can take from youWhat values really are (and what they’re not)A two step practice to use connection to your values to stay grounded in times of upheavalThis episode offers a grounded, compassionate reminder: Even when you can’t control what’s happening around you, you can choose who you want to be in the middle of it.Links for Further Support:Calm in Crisis (for times of acute stress or upheaval):https://melliobrien.com/calm-in-crisis-course/Unwinding Anxiety (support for ongoing anxiety):https://melliobrien.com/unwinding-anxiety/ 📘 Melli’s Book ‘Deep Resilience’: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book🎁 Free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-care-package-signup/
5 Thought Patterns That Feed Depression — And How to Break FreeWhen you’re feeling low, it can seem like the world is grey and unchangeable. But often, the way we think is quietly fuelling the way we feel.In this episode, Melli explores five common thought patterns that feed depression—and how to shift out of them using a simple, evidence-based tool called Catch It, Check It, Change It.These patterns—like all-or-nothing thinking, rumination, and emotional reasoning—often run in the background, disguised as truth. But once we learn to see them clearly, we can begin to loosen their grip and reclaim our clarity, resilience, and inner peace.You’ll discover:The 5 thought patterns that deepen and sustain depression Real-life examples to help you spot them in yourself A 3-step method to shift into a more flexible and helpful mindset How Melli used these tools to transform her own experience with depressionThis episode offers a grounded, compassionate guide to understanding your mind—and gently rewiring it for strength and healing.Links for further exploration: Free Deep Resilience Care Package: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-care-package-signup/ Melli’s Book ‘Deep Resilience' melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book
🎧 Talk Back to Unhelpful Thoughts — The 3-Step Practice to Rewire Negative ThinkingDo you ever feel like your mind is working against you—spiralling into self-doubt, rehashing the past, or catastrophizing about the future?You’re not alone.Our minds are master storytellers—and many of the stories they tell are based in fear, insecurity, or old conditioning.In this episode, Melli shares a simple, powerful 3-step practice to help you unhook from those unhelpful narratives and return to calm, clarity, and strength.This isn’t about trying to get rid of negative thoughts. It’s about learning how to change your relationship to them—so they no longer run the show.You’ll learn how to re-parent your inner dialogue, shift into the wise part of yourself, and guide your mind gently out of suffering and into a more supportive, empowered mindset.You’ll discover:🧠 Why your mind acts like a storyteller—and how it “hooks” you into distress and reactivity 🪞 The real reason we suffer isn’t the thought itself—but how we relate to it 🌀 The 3-step “Name It, Tame It, Reframe It” method to shift out of old thought loops 🧘♀️ How mindfulness creates space between you and your thoughts—so you can lead with wisdom, not fear 🌿 How to create more mental freedom, emotional resilience, and inner peace—without pushing thoughts awayWhether you’re facing anxiety, stress, or just want a clearer, kinder relationship with your own mind—this episode gives you a practical, evidence-based way forward.🌟 Mentioned in this episode: 📘 Get your copy of Deep Resilience and access all the free guided meditations and gifts: https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/
What Is Inner Leadership—And Why It Might Be the Missing Piece in Your Personal GrowthHave you ever felt like there's a gap between the strength you know is inside you—and the way you actually show up in your life?That invisible gap is where inner leadership comes in.In this episode, Melli unpacks what inner leadership really is—and why it may be the missing piece in your mental health, personal development, and spiritual growth journey. You’ll learn how to stop being pushed around by fear, stress and self-doubt—and start leading from the calm, steady centre within you.This isn’t about getting rid of hard emotions or becoming someone you’re not. It’s about remembering who you truly are—and building a stable inner foundation that helps you meet life with clarity, courage and resilience.You’ll learn:🧭 What “inner leadership” really means—and how it differs from traditional ideas of growth💛 Why so many of us get stuck in survival-mode patterns like people-pleasing, anxiety or self-criticism🏠 The parable of the two houses—and how it reveals the foundation we often forget to build🌿 The 3 essential skills that help you shift from reactivity to strength💡 One powerful practice you can use today to reconnect with purpose in any momentWhether you’re facing anxiety, navigating change, or simply want to deepen your sense of inner calm and clarity—this episode offers a powerful reframe and a practical path forward.🌟 Mentioned in this episode:📘 Join the Unwinding Anxiety Course https://melliobrien.com/unwinding-anxiety/
How to Become Emotionally Non-ReactiveIn a world that often feels fast, loud, and emotionally charged, learning to become emotionally non-reactive is one of the most powerful and healing inner skills we can develop.In this episode, we explore how the habit of mental resistance—our knee-jerk fight against difficult emotions, anxiety and unwanted life experiences—can keep us stuck in cycles of suffering. You’ll discover how the shift from reaction to response opens the door to peace, clarity, and true emotional resilience.Through engaging storytelling, psychological wisdom and practical tools, this episode offers a roadmap for working with your emotions instead of against them—so you can stop spiralling and start thriving.You’ll learn:🌼 Why resisting difficult emotions fuels anxiety, frustration and burnout📚 The story of Sue, a client whose journey reveals the power of acceptance🌿 How to stop reacting and start responding—even when life is really hard🧘♀️ A simple mantra to return to your point of power in any momentPlus, you’ll hear the unforgettable story of “The Problem with Dandelions”—a metaphor for what happens when we try to control everything we don’t like about our emotional experience. Spoiler: It doesn’t work.Instead, you’ll walk away with a powerful mindset shift:Acceptance isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom.And it’s your doorway to emotional freedom.🎧 Tune in now and learn how to meet the challenges of life with flexibility, calm, and clarity.🌟 Mentioned in this episode:📘 Join the Unwinding Anxiety Course https://melliobrien.com/unwinding-anxiety/ 7 days of guided practices + 7 live coaching calls + lifetime access👉 https://www.cnbc.com/2019/05/06/stanford-researchers-says-30-minutes-of-complaining-makes-you-dumber.html💌 Free Deep Resilience Care Package10 bonus meditations, mindfulness tools + a 10-day mindfulness course👉 https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package
Be Your Own Algorithm: Detox Your Mind, Reclaim Your Inner PeaceIn an age of infinite noise, what if the most radical act is reclaiming your own mind?In this episode, we explore how to take back your attention from the forces that seek to hijack it—and why doing so isn’t just a wellness practice, but a deeply empowering and even spiritual one.You’ll discover how modern algorithms are designed to exploit your ancient brain wiring—fueling distraction, anxiety, and disconnection—and how being unaware of this can quietly pull you away from your values, your joy, and your peace.Drawing from psychological research, mindfulness wisdom, and a personal story from a pivotal moment in Melli’s own journey, you’ll learn why reclaiming your “inner algorithm” is like coming home to yourself—and how simple daily practices can help you realign with clarity, strength, and presence.If you’ve been feeling scattered, overstimulated, or distant from what really matters, this episode offers a grounded, heartful path forward.🎧 Tune in to learn how to reset your mental environment, honour your values, and live from a place of intention in a distracted world.Key Links:📩 Newsletter – Get invites to free live meditations, tools + updates:https://melliobrien.com🎁 Free Deep Resilience Care Package – My gift to support your inner strength:https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package📚 The Book – Deep Resilience – A four-step journey to unshakable inner strength:https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/📖 The Distracted Mind by Adam Gazzaley & Larry D. Rosen – Science behind why attention gets hijacked:https://mitpress.mit.edu/9780262034944/the-distracted-mind/🎙️ The Social Dilemma – A powerful documentary on the attention economy:https://www.netflix.com/title/81254224
The Philosophy of No DestinationIn today’s world, the pressure to constantly improve, perfect, and get somewhere can feel endless. We’re told that happiness lives just beyond the next achievement, the next version of ourselves. But what if that destination... doesn’t exist?In this episode, we explore the philosophy of no destination—a mindset shift that brings immediate peace and long-term resilience. Through powerful storytelling, practical mindfulness wisdom, and insights from modern psychology, you’ll learn how the endless striving to be “better” can actually create suffering—and how self-acceptance can offer true freedom.You’ll discover:Why the belief that “I’ll be okay when…” fuels stress, anxiety, and self-criticismThe psychological research linking self-discrepancy to depression and burnoutA Zen teaching that beautifully reveals the trap of over-effortingA simple practice from Thich Nhat Hanh to anchor you in the present momentA powerful reminder that peace isn’t out there—it’s available right here, right nowIf you’ve been feeling behind, worn out, or like you’re not enough yet, this episode will meet you with deep compassion—and remind you that there’s nothing wrong with you. You don’t need to arrive. You’re already home.🎧 Tune in now to reconnect with your inner peace and remember what truly matters.Key Links📩 Newsletter – Get invites to free live meditations, tools + updates:https://melliobrien.com🎁 Free Deep Resilience Care Package – My gift to support your inner strength:https://melliobrien.com/#deep-resilience-care-package📚 The Book – Deep Resilience – A four-step journey to unshakable inner strength:https://melliobrien.com/deep-resilience-book/📖 Self-Compassion by Dr. Kristin Neff – The science behind self-acceptance:https://self-compassion.org📖 The Culture of Counter-Culture by Alan Watts – A radical reflection on the meaning of life:https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/556038.The_Culture_of_Counter_Culture