In this solo episode of Define Normal, host Shelbi explores the challenges of balancing past friendships with her present identity. Growing up in the predominantly white, conservative suburbs of Dayton, Ohio, meant navigating spaces where she couldn’t fully express herself. Now, as a Black woman living in New York City, Shelbi reflects on how she’s showing up authentically for the first time and how that’s impacted her relationships.She shares the concept of archival friendships—those relationships formed during earlier stages of life—and discusses the tension that arises when her newer friends struggle to understand those connections. Shelbi also opens up about feeling judged for her past self while embracing the freedom to define her normal.If you’ve ever felt torn between your past and present selves or grappling with the complexities of evolving friendships, this episode is for you.Resources Mentioned:Friendship Breakup episode of Table PancakesJoin the Define Normal community:Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.Get in touch! You can email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Are you in your late twenties and feeling like life just got weird? You're not alone. It's an age where you're caught between the carefree days of early adulthood and the pressure to have life figured out. In this solo episode of Define Normal, Shelbi explores why this age is such a turning point and shares lessons she's learned with the benefit of hindsight at 31.What You'll Learn in This Episode:Why 27 feels like a second coming-of-age.The emotional tug-of-war between youthful freedom and adult responsibilities.What I wish I had known at 27 that could have saved me so much stress.How to embrace the discomfort of growing into the next version of yourself.Join the Define Normal community:Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this episode, Shelbi sits down with her Dad, Ray, to discuss the foundations of family values, career growth, and personal and professional identity evolution. Through heartfelt stories, Ray reflects on his upbringing in a close-knit family in New Orleans and the role of education in shaping his life's journey. He shares defining moments in his career, the challenges and joys of parenthood, and his experience raising adult children.Together, Shelbi and Ray explore generational dynamics, examining how communication between parents and children has transformed over time. They discuss shifts in parenting styles, the significance of cultural identity, and how self-worth and confidence are essential for overcoming life's challenges. Ray shares the importance of family connections in today's fast-paced, dispersed world and his pride in watching the next generation achieve their dreams. The conversation also touches on how dreams and aspirations evolve, the impact of open dialogue, and the legacy of resilience passed down within their family.Tune in for an episode filled with generational wisdom, reflections on cultural identity, and inspiring insights on family bonds and life's evolving journey.Join the Define Normal community:Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this episode, Shelbi reflects on her Election Day experience, recounting how she approached the day with quiet determination. She describes casting her vote, filling her day with moments of comfort and connection, and bracing herself for the results as they trickled in. This time, unlike in 2016, she wasn’t shocked—just resolved to keep moving forward, anchored by a sense of purpose.Shelbi also shares a reading of Saeed Jones's Substack piece, Take a Beat and Breathe with Me. Jones's words remind us that even when times are challenging, each of us has a unique role to play. “If this country really is a house on fire, we chose to live out our lives here because we are water,” he writes, inspiring listeners to believe in the impact they can make.Later in the episode, Shelbi welcomes three friends to discuss their thoughts on the election. They cover topics including:Key issues that mattered most to them this electionHow this election season felt different compared to othersTheir hopes and expectations for the changes and conversations they want to see moving forwardShelbi closes the episode with a call to action, reminding listeners that the work must go on. She believes that everyone has something essential to contribute and is uniquely positioned to make a difference.Join the Define Normal community:Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this episode, Shelbi and Liam dive into the complex world of nightlife, examining its unique role as a space for freedom, healing, and community—especially within queer and marginalized groups. Together, they unpack nightlife as a form of therapeutic release and the balancing act between work and play, underscoring the need for unstructured, liberating fun.Liam opens up about his journey with alcohol, sharing how his relationship with drinking has evolved. The conversation highlights the importance of spaces that foster belonging, expression, and solidarity, contrasting the sense of community found in queer and POC-centered spaces with the often less inclusive environments of predominantly straight, white nightlife.Shelbi and Liam also compare the party scenes in Berlin and New York City, discussing how factors like work-life balance, social safety nets, and even Germany's spa culture contribute to a more relaxed European nightlife approach. They explore the recent shifts in NYC nightlife, with a growing embrace of carefree, inclusive party spaces that celebrate genuine connection and self-expression.The episode also explores how technology and social media have reshaped the nightlife scene, impacting social interactions and the club experience. Shelbi and Liam discuss the shift in social habits following the pandemic, including a decline in going out and evolving social norms among younger generations. As they wrap up, they reflect on the importance of reconnecting with the roots of nightlife culture to create authentic connections.Find Liam Online:InstagramJoin the Define Normal community:Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Before the interviews from this season, there are two episodes from the April 2023 archives to post. This episode is the second interview of the two.In this conversation, Jen Winston delves into her memoir Greedy: Notes from a Bisexual Who Wants Too Much, exploring her coming-out journey and the potential for adapting her memoir into a TV series. She reflects on the critical importance of bisexual representation and the complexities surrounding identity while weaving social issues into her narrative. Jen addresses critiques of her work and shares her thoughts on the shifting landscape of bisexual visibility in media. She opens up about her experiences with open relationships, navigating the intersections of sexuality and patriarchy, and the crucial role that communication plays in social justice. Jen also discusses her evolving relationship with queer sexuality and the impact of pornography on sexual education and introduces her forthcoming fiction, which examines themes of maternal ambivalence. Throughout the conversation, she highlights the vital role of community and empathy in the bisexual experience.Find Jen Online:Buy a copy of GreedyInstagramJoin the Define Normal community:Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Before the interviews from this season, there are two episodes from the archives to post. This interview is from April 2023.In this conversation, Cole Habersham shares his journey as a writer and creator, discussing the evolution of his writing, the vulnerability involved in sharing personal stories, and the impact of social media on his life. He reflects on his transition from New York to LA, the importance of community, and the dynamics of dating in different cities. Cole emphasizes the significance of intentionality in both friendships and creative pursuits while navigating the complexities of self-discovery and personal growth. Shelbi and Cole discuss the nuances of online dating, particularly the differences between New York and LA dating cultures. They explore Cole's creative aspirations, including his goal to write a novel and his current writing projects. The discussion also delves into faith and spirituality, consumerism in fashion, and the importance of sharing one's voice and experiences. Throughout the conversation, they emphasize the significance of self-expression and the empowerment of embracing one's creativity.Find Cole Online:TikTokSubstackInstagramJoin the Define Normal community:Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this solo episode, Shelbi returns to the Define Normal podcast after taking a hiatus in February 2023. In this "State of the Union" update, Shelbi reflects on the whirlwind of life changes she's experienced over the past year and a half, from navigating her 20s and dealing with burnout to stepping into her 30s with newfound clarity and purpose.Shelbi opens up about the challenges and growth of being laid off from Clubhouse, the launch and pause of her friendship-focused podcast Table Pancakes, and why she felt a powerful pull to come back to Define Normal.The conversation dives into the powerful concept of quitting—why it's often viewed negatively and how it has become one of Shelbi’s most liberating decisions. She shares that quitting isn't a sign of failure but a catalyst for fresh starts, self-discovery, and critical reflection.Listeners will hear real conversations about burnout, career pivots, and learning to let go of things that no longer serve them. Shelbi also announces that Define Normal is transitioning to a seasonal format. This will give her the time to produce thoughtful episodes with incredible guests while staying connected with her audience through weekly Substack posts during the off-season.Join the Define Normal community:Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this solo episode, host Shelbi Jones briefly recaps her experience performing at the Generation Women show. She reflects on the power of storytelling and how the event allowed her to connect with other women across generations. The episode then delves into her thoughts on turning 30, discussing the reflections and growth of entering a new decade of life. She also shares her feelings on friendship and the vulnerability of being sensitive, touching on a TikTok video she created about the topic.Key Links Mentioned in the Episode:Generation Women Show (YouTube)TikTok Video on SensitivityJoin the Define Normal community:Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this solo episode, host Shelbi Jones reflects on her transformative experience at the Generation Women writing retreat in the Catskills. She shares the highs and lows of the retreat, including the sense of community it fostered and the challenges she faced around her identity as a writer.The episode also delves into her struggles with defining herself as a writer and what it means to embrace that identity fully. The host discusses the value of connecting with fellow writers and the power of storytelling as a means of self-discovery.To wrap up, she shares exciting news about performing at the Generation Women show on 2/2 at Joe’s Pub, giving listeners a sneak peek into the story she’ll be sharing.Generation Women is a multigenerational storytelling series that amplifies underheard voices by inviting performers across generations to share original true stories on themes that foster intergenerational connection and community.Join the Define Normal community:Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this week's episode, host Shelbi Jones is joined by Shelley Eisenberg, a provisionally licensed clinical psychologist, for an insightful conversation on therapy, sexuality, gender roles, and the barriers to seeking help. Shelley shares her expertise and perspective on the evolving norms in therapy, addressing key topics that shape the therapeutic process today.They discuss:The evolving norms in therapy and how therapy has changed in response to societal shiftsExploring sexuality and gender roles within the context of therapy and why it’s essential to feel safe and understood when discussing these topics.Shelley’s thoughts on why some people aren’t quite ready to try therapy and how stigma can play a role in delaying mental health support.The therapeutic process is from a psychological perspective, and what can clients expect in a therapy session?Shelley offers valuable insights into the therapeutic journey and how individuals can overcome barriers to mental health support, helping listeners feel more empowered in their mental health journeys.Join the Define Normal community:Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this week's episode, host Shelbi Jones is joined by Melissa Hougland to share her journey through egg freezing. Melissa opens up about her personal experience, providing valuable insights into the entire process—from finding the right doctor to administering shots, managing the cost, and the emotional aspects of the journey.They discuss:How Melissa found the right fertility doctor and navigated her optionsThe step-by-step process of egg freezing, including administering shots and what to expect during the procedureThe financial costs involved and how Melissa managed themEmotional highs and lows throughout the journey and her advice for others considering egg-freezingThe importance of planning and seeking support during the processMelissa also shares her words of wisdom for anyone who is thinking about freezing their eggs, emphasizing the significance of understanding the process and taking control of their fertility.Follow Melissa on Instagram: @dontmissmelisJoin the Define Normal community:Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this episode, host Shelbi Jones sits down with Elaine Thompson, a New York-based interior designer and the founder of Pistachio Designs. Elaine’s work has been featured in The New York Times, Rue Magazine, and Apartment Therapy. She decorated Shelbi's last two rental apartments, making this conversation even more exciting!They discuss:Elaine’s journey into entrepreneurship and the world of interior design.The challenges and joys of owning a design business in New York.Elaine’s unique design style, sources of inspiration, and where she finds the best pieces for her clients.Tips for decorating a home, especially in rental spaces.The evolution of interior design trends and how Elaine stays inspired.Elaine also shares her experience of turning her passion for design into a successful business and offers advice for anyone considering a career in interior design or entrepreneurship.Follow Elaine on Instagram: @pistachiodesignsCheck out Pistachio Designs: pistachiodesigns.comJoin the Define Normal community:Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Shelbi is back and ready to kick off the year with exciting updates in this solo episode! She shares what’s been top of mind for 2023, reflecting on personal goals and what listeners can expect from the Define Normal podcast in the upcoming weeks.Shelbi gives a sneak peek into the upcoming season, highlighting new themes, powerful conversations, and the incredible guests who will join her on the show. This episode sets the tone for what’s to come as she dives deeper into authenticity, self-discovery, and navigating life's many transitions.Tune in for an update on what’s next and a look into Shelbi’s vision for the podcast in 2023!Join the Define Normal community:Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this exceptional episode, host Shelbi Jones sits down with her maternal grandmother, Sadie Robinson, affectionately known as Grandmommy, to reflect on her incredible life journey. Together, they discuss Sadie's upbringing in Jackson, TN, her career, and her most proud achievements. The conversation also delves into the generational shifts in technology and how Sadie has stayed up to date with the ever-changing digital world.This heartwarming episode offers a unique opportunity to hear wisdom and stories passed down through generations, exploring an inspiring matriarch's resilience, work ethic, and adaptability. Whether through personal anecdotes, life lessons, or her enduring curiosity about the digital world, Sadie's story is a beautiful reminder of the importance of family, legacy, and embracing change.Join the Define Normal community:Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this solo episode, host Shelbi Jones discusses making a crush list inspired by a TikTok from @tinx. Shelbi also discusses how a crush often stems from a lack of information and how we can romanticize people simply because we don’t know them well.This episode explores the reasons behind crushes, the excitement of the unknown, and how curiosity can fuel attraction. The host explains how creating a crush list—a simple yet impactful way to clarify your feelings—can help put the process of attraction into perspective.Tune in for a thoughtful conversation on relationships, self-awareness, and how identifying the core reasons behind a crush can help us grow, connect, and better understand our desires.Join the Define Normal community:Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
For the final episode of Black History Month, host Shelbi Jones sits down with Ade Adeshoye to discuss his unique experiences growing up in Bethesda, MD, attending a prestigious boarding school and, later, his time at Northwestern University and Yale.Ade opens up about how being raised in predominantly white, affluent environments shaped his identity and sense of self, as well as the challenges and triumphs of navigating these spaces as a Black person. He reflects on the role of privilege, racial identity, and cultural assimilation during his education and how it influenced his journey.This episode touches on belonging, self-discovery, and empowerment themes in spaces not necessarily designed for people like Ade. Tune in for a robust discussion on how education, race, and environment intersect to shape who we become.Join the Define Normal community:Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this episode, host Shelbi Jones is virtually joined by Anicia Ngozi (@aniciangozi), personal chef and founder of @KidsTableNY. Anicia opens up about her inspiring journey from the world of tech to becoming a sought-after personal chef in New York City. She shares her experience working with high-profile families and how she navigated the transition to entrepreneurship.The conversation dives into the challenges and rewards of building a business in the culinary world, Anicia’s unique approach to cooking, and her mission to create memorable dining experiences for families.Please tune in to learn how Anicia's background in tech shaped her approach to the food industry, her advice for aspiring entrepreneurs, and how she’s making an impact in the world of culinary arts.Join the Define Normal community:Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this episode, host Shelbi Jones is virtually joined by Tyshaia Earnest (@tyshaia), Marketing and Communications Manager for the Fifteen Percent Pledge. Tyshaia takes us through her journey from studying Fashion Merchandising at Kent State University to working for Nordstrom's buying team in Seattle. Now, she advocates for racial equity in retail through her role at the Pledge.Tyshaia and the host dive deep into the Fifteen Percent Pledge, discussing the retailers who have committed to the cause and those who could be doing more to support Black-owned businesses. The conversation wraps up with Tyshaia sharing her favorite Black-owned brands, highlighting the impact of conscious consumerism. This episode offers valuable insights into the fashion industry, corporate responsibility, and the power of supporting Black entrepreneurs.Join the Define Normal community:Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this solo episode, host Shelbi Jones reflects on the shifts in New York City since she left and her experience adjusting to her new neighborhood. From the changes to the city itself to the reality of friends leaving the city and the ongoing impacts of the pandemic, she shares her journey of navigating a transformed environment.This episode touches on the challenges and opportunities of moving to a new area, the feeling of change in a post-pandemic world, and the importance of finding a sense of community and belonging amidst all the upheaval. Please tune in for a thoughtful exploration of how we’re all adjusting to a new normal, wherever we may be.Join the Define Normal community:Follow Shelbi on Substack for weekly reflections and updates during the off-season.Stay connected with Define Normal on Instagram.Get in touch! Email us at definenormalpod@gmail.com or leave a voice memo here. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the show—your support means everything! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.