Delight Your Marriage

Eternal Marriage Mindset: Living Today for the Streets of Gold We get so caught up in the now—our needs, our feelings, our expectations—that we forget: this isn't forever. And when it comes to your marriage, your mindset matters more than you know. What if the goal isn't just earthly happiness… but eternal impact? Let's shift our gaze from the temporary to the eternal—from trying to fix our spouse to faithfully loving them like Jesus. Because your marriage assignment? It impacts eternity. A Marriage Mindset That Reaches for Heaven If marriage is your god, you'll do it your way. You'll chase validation, push for change, demand your rights, and stew in resentment when your spouse doesn't meet your expectations. But if God is your God, and marriage is your assignment, you'll do it His way. You'll put your spouse before your ministry, before your work, before the kids. You'll think about loving them the way they receive love. You care about peace, patience, kindness, and self-control in your marriage. You value reconciliation and you stop praying, "God, fix my spouse so I feel better," and start praying, "God, draw them closer to You." It's a radical shift in your marriage mindset. And it changes everything. Eternal Marriage Mindset: Your Assignment Is Bigger Than You Think Think about this: your spouse isn't just your husband or wife. They're your brother or sister in Christ. One day, they will stand before Jesus just like you will. What if your daily choices helped them be more ready for that moment? That's the eternal marriage mindset. It's not about temporary comfort—it's about eternal glory. You're not just trying to survive your marriage. You're trying to love your spouse all the way to the streets of gold! And, by God's grace, you'll be dancing there together one day. You only get one marriage with this person. One chance to love them well. One life to serve them, selflessly. And if that service brings them closer to Jesus? It's worth every ounce of sacrifice. Streets of Gold and a Big Ol' Mansion Next Door But all joking aside, imagining heaven should stir our hearts. Because eternity is real. And that means what you do in this short vapor of a life matters. If you need help fixing your gaze upward, here's a powerful recommendation: Wild Near-Death Experiences: Proof of Heaven | John Burke | Ep:365 from the Blurry Creatures podcast. John is a former pastor, engineer, and researcher who has explored over 1,000 verified near-death experiences—and the common themes are stunning. Even from those with no faith background, many report seeing a being of love, a city of light, a life review… all pointing to the reality of heaven. His ministry, Imagine Heaven, invites us to live today in light of eternity. And wow—is it motivating. When we meditate on the realness of what's ahead, our marriage takes on deeper purpose. It becomes a divine assignment with eternal weight. It's Not About Them, It's About You: Taking Ownership in Your Marriage Here's the hard truth: You will stand before God alone. You won't be able to say, "But my husband didn't…" or "But my wife never…" This journey isn't about controlling your spouse—it's about surrendering your own heart. If your marriage is struggling, start by asking: Am I doing this God's way? Am I praying for their character, not just my comfort? Am I serving them with an eternal mindset—or demanding love on my terms? The shift starts in you. Final Thoughts: Marriage Is Temporary. Your Influence Isn't. Heaven is coming. And when you get there—your mansion sparkling, the streets of gold beneath your feet—will your spouse be dancing beside you? Will your love have drawn them closer to Jesus? Will your sacrifices have sown eternal seeds? Friend, your influence matters. Every word, every action, every reaction has a chance to draw them closer to Jesus. So soften your heart. Adjust your mindset. And do marriage well—not for earthly gain, but for eternal glory. We are rooting for you!   Blessings, The Delight Your Marriage Team   PS - Want help living this out? We would love to walk alongside you. Start with a free Clarity Call and talk with someone who's been there, seen God work, and is ready to cheer you on. PPS - Have you seen the impact of this work in your life and wish more people knew about it? We are launching our In-Person Training program globally in January 2026. For more information on bringing this program to your church (or small group or work or wherever you meet!), please email office@delightyourmarriage.com. PPPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate: "The biggest area I have grown is in my relationship with the Lord.  I have a deeper walk and appreciate struggles as they point me to Jesus.  Our marriage has grown as well.  We are deeper in love and we are heading to our finish lines of life, united as a couple."

How Daily Habits Transformed His 36-Year Marriage: Harvey's Story Marriage is holy work. Maybe you're reading this today because you're hoping your marriage will change. Maybe you're reading this because you've prayed, "Lord, please help my marriage," when really you mean "Lord, please help my spouse!" I hope this blog and episode will make you feel both comforted and inspired — that you'll be reminded your marriage can change, not by grand gestures or perfect communication, but by small, faithful, daily habits of love. This is what Harvey discovered as well. That it wasn't grand gestures or big sweeping shifts that changed his marriage, but small, daily, consistent habits that brought it God's love, peace, and patience into his marriage. Changing Your Priorities: When Hard Work is Leading to Disconnect Harvey and his wife have been married nearly 37 years. Together, they raised four kids and built a life on their dairy farm. For decades, he worked two full-time jobs—teaching high school by day and farming by night. He says, "Every day was between 12 to 16 hours. My wife was incredibly supportive, but I just wasn't there emotionally." Maybe you can relate. Life's responsibilities pile up, and before you know it, years have passed. You're functioning—but not really connecting. Despite his faith and commitment, Harvey admits that emotional and spiritual intimacy were missing. He wanted closeness, but didn't know how to get there. A Different Kind of Prayer—and a Different Kind of Growth After retiring from teaching, Harvey finally had space to seek help. He'd been listening to our podcast for years and decided it was time to join Masculinity Reclaimed, our men's program. The first surprise? It wasn't about changing his wife! It was about learning to love her the way Christ loves the Church. He started with one habit: daily time with God. Reading Scripture. Praying. Reflecting. And eventually, he began praying with his wife in the mornings—a completely new rhythm in their 36 years together. That quiet time, over coffee and prayer, became a beautiful and cherished time for emotional connection. The Turning Point: Accepting Your Wife as She Is Halfway through the program, Harvey realized that for years, he had been looking at his wife through the lens of what she wasn't. She wasn't this, she wasn't that... But when he stopped trying to change her and started accepting her for who she is, the woman he fell in love with, the woman she had always been, rather than who he hoped she might someday become–everything began to shift. That acceptance made her feel safe. Seen. Loved. And when a woman feels safe, her heart opens. His wife began to blossom before his very eyes and the connection Harvey had longed for finally began to grow. The Habits That Build a Marriage Here's the truth: marriage is a system of habits. Paul says, if you're married, you will have trouble. (1 Corinthians 7:28) You'll have to think about how to please your spouse. (1 Corinthians 7:34) Are you in the habit of thinking about your spouse? Are you in the habit of considering them and putting them first? Are you in the habit of encouraging, loving, praying, and serving them? It's not always easy work — but it is good work. Every word, every look, every morning prayer can help build connection. That's why transformation doesn't happen overnight. It happens in the daily choices. Final Thoughts Friends, you don't have to wait to start changing your marriage. Harvey shared with us, "I wish I had learned these things earlier in my marriage." We want that for you as well!  You don't have to wait to retire or for your kids to be out of the house. You don't have to wait to be a certain age or have been married a certain number of years. You can start investing in your marriage now, today, to say that the next 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 years of marriage were incredible. That is what we want for you. And we know, that no matter where your marriage is at right now, it can change. Just ask Harvey. We are rooting for you and we know that we serve a God who makes all things new– and that includes marriages.   God bless you!   With love, The Delight Your Marriage Team   PS - If you're ready to take the next step and get into a community that knows what it's like and are doing the hard work themselves– we'd love to chat with you. Click here to schedule a free Clarity Call with one of our Clarity Call Advisors and take the next step in healing your marriage. PPS - Are you a fan of this work and wish more people knew about it? We are launching an In-Person Training program this January and we would love to come to your church, workplace, community group, or wherever you gather! For more information, visit our In-Person Training page. PPPS - Here is what another recent grad had to say about our program: "I've become more contented and patient and focused on [my wife's] needs and a better listener I think. She says our home has less tension since I've been doing the program. I take that as a win!"

"Marriage First" Makes Your Life Unstable At the end of my life, I want to hear the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant."  That's the goal that keeps me grounded—and I know many of you share that desire. But here's a hard truth I've learned through years of walking with couples: when our marriage or family becomes our first priority instead of God, everything starts to crumble. Why "Family First" Doesn't Work I once had a conversation with someone I deeply love who said, "You think God has to be first—but I think family should be first." His heart was sincere, but the fruit of that mindset showed otherwise.  When family is first, everything depends on emotions—how your spouse treats you, how the kids behave, whether things feel peaceful at home. That's not stability. That's shifting sand. We see the effects of this all around us. Divorce rates hover around 50%. Even pastors and counselors admit they rarely had a healthy marriage modeled for them.  Most people are doing their best, but without a biblical foundation, their "best" can't hold up when life gets hard. The Biblical Order That Brings Stability Scripture gives us the right order: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. And love your neighbor as yourself." — Mark 12:30–31 That means I love my first neighbor—my spouse—because I love God. Why do I forgive in marriage? Because God is first.Why do I love my husband well? Because God is first.Why do I serve my family with joy? Because God is first. When we build our lives on that rock, we become steady—even when the storms hit.  Illness, loss, special needs, mental health struggles—these things shake every marriage. But when God comes first, everything else finds its right place. Feelings Aren't God—God's Word Is We live in a "follow your feelings" culture. If you don't feel in love anymore, the world says, find someone new. But feelings aren't truth. God's Word is. You're serving the King of Kings, and your marriage is part of that assignment. Like the Roman soldiers in Gladiator fought for the glory of Rome; as believers, we live for the glory of God. That means our choices in marriage—our words, our intimacy, our tone—should all be for His glory. Believers are called to die to ourselves. That includes our moods and even our sexual desires.  Scripture is clear: "Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time... then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you." — 1 Corinthians 7:5 That's not about coercion or obligation—it's about love expressed God's way.  When I choose intimacy with my husband, it's not because I feel like it every time. It's because I love God. And when I embrace His design with joy, the byproduct is a beautiful, connected marriage. Marriage as a Path to Holiness Author Gary Thomas famously asked, "What if marriage is meant to make us holy, not happy?" The amazing thing is—when we pursue holiness, happiness often follows. That's why we teach the Delight Your Marriage Framework: Husbands need to have respect, admiration, and wholehearted intimacy. Wives need to feel safe, known, and wholeheartedly cherished. We love our spouse in the way they receive love, not the way we prefer to give it. Because real love is about understanding and serving the other. (You can download the full framework at DelightYourMarriage.com/framework.) The Power of God's Word to Transform David Wood—a former atheist and sociopath whose life was radically changed by Scripture. Even after becoming a Christian, he noticed that when he stopped reading the Bible for a few days, dark thoughts would return. That's how powerful God's Word is—it changes us from the inside out. If you're struggling to love your spouse, to forgive, to stay faithful, start here: get your nose in the Word. Not scrolling. Not skimming. Reading. Slowly. With a heart open to hear God. Even one verse a day in a physical Bible can soften your heart. Make it a habit. Let the Word wash over you. Final Thoughts If you have put your marriage above Jesus, it's not too late to turn it around. He is a safe person to put your trust in. You can trust His Word and His design. It is on purpose, for a purpose… and it is Good.   Blessings,   The Delight Your Marriage Team   PS - If you are interested in taking the next step, putting God first, above your marriage, we would love to talk with you. Schedule a free Clarity Call and chat with one of Clarity Advisors. PPS - Want to see this work in your churches? Our In-Person Training is launching nationwide in January and we would love for your church to be a part of it. Click here to learn more. PPPS - Here is what a recent graduate had to say:"The DYM program has helped me grow as a husband and learn how to better serve my wife and our relationship has been growing in all areas as a result.  She just told me this week that she used to feel tension when I came home from work and that tension is gone. Big change which has led to growth for us both. Belah's insights and coaching have been amazing and I've discovered God's purpose for us and our marriage at a new level!  Thanks DYM!"

It doesn't start with scandal. It often doesn't even start with feelings. It starts with a smile. A moment of connection. A conversation that feels easy—maybe easier than the ones you've been having at home. You walk away thinking, That was nothing. But somewhere deep down, you also know—it could become something. If that's where you find yourself today (or even if you've seen the warning signs in someone you love), please take a deep breath. You're not broken. You didn't marry the wrong person. You haven't done an irredeemable thing with no going back. You're human. And this conversation is meant to bring you hope, not shame. In my conversation with Gary Thomas today—pastor and bestselling author of Sacred Marriage—he shared that when a group of wives was asked "How many times do you think a married man has had extramarital feelings for someone?", they all responded with zero. When he asked the same question to a group of husbands, they all said somewhere from 4 to 6. What we are saying is that attraction and feelings for someone other than your spouse are not often talked about, but are pretty common- for both husbands and wives. And we believe that bringing this into the light will take some of the shame off of these feelings and also help people not to go down a road they think has no return. Gary Thomas on Attraction and Integrity Gary has been married for over 40 years, and he's seen a lot—as a pastor, counselor, and husband. He told me, "The reason we make a commitment is because we know there will always be another person who draws us for a moment. Commitment means we already know what to do with it—and what not to do with it." We don't often talk about attraction outside of marriage unless it's already turned into an affair. But Gary's heart is to normalize awareness before it becomes destruction. In our talk, Gary referenced a romantic comedy movie where a married bus driver begins to become attracted to a girl on a bicycle. Finally, a friend of the bus driver gently confronts him and says: "There will always be a girl on the bicycle." In other words, there will always be someone who catches your eye. The key isn't pretending that will never happen—it's learning how to respond when it does. Gary reminded me that having an attraction isn't the sin. Entertaining it is. The feelings themselves don't make you unfaithful—they make you human. But where you let those feelings go next? That's where faithfulness begins. The Subtle Steps Toward an Affair Gary shared that most affairs don't start with a dramatic choice—they start with small, quiet ones. Little compromises that feel "innocent." He shared with a story of a woman who did end up having a physical affair. She recounted that it wasn't just one day to the next, but that there were actually several steps that happened before they were physically intimate. She shares that she could have turned back at any of these step, had she known before. She also shares the grief after it was all done at waking up to "just a dude in her bed"– not the escape or rescue or romance the temptation had promised. Here are the steps she shared and the pattern Gary's seen over and over again: You share marriage frustrations with someone of the opposite sex. You sense a spark—and feel seen or understood. You start caring how you look around them. You think about them when they're not around. That's the prelude. It doesn't feel dangerous yet, but it's where hearts begin to shift. Gary said, "If you can recognize it early, you can stop it before it ever grows." From there, people will often begin to have an emotional affair:      5. You fantasize about being together.      6. Manipulating circumstances to spend more time together.      7. You start playful banter or flirtation.      8. Friends notice—and ask what's going on. This is a wake-up call. Gary said, "If people around you see it, something's already happening." They're seeing what your heart is trying not to admit. Then, comes the actual physical affair:     9. Meeting together in secrecy.     10. Texting or calling in ways you hide from your spouse.     11. Physical intimacy. This is the final step—but it's never the first. We don't share this to shame. Maybe you've already partaken in some of these steps. We share because it is not too late to turn back. Gary said, "If you know the steps, you can stop at any one of them." When You Have Extramarital Feelings, Here's What to Do If you do end up experiencing feelings or attraction for someone other than your spouse—don't panic. Don't spiral into guilt. Instead, bring it into the light. Tell a trusted, godly friend of your same sex. Talk to your spouse if it's wise to do so. And most importantly—talk to Jesus. Ask Him to help you see the truth: that this isn't love, it's a lure. Temptation often feels like relief at first—but always ends in ruin. Then, put up strong, unapologetic guardrails: Stop all unnecessary contact with that person. Don't text, call, or "just check in." If you work together, keep everything professional and public. And don't justify emotional intimacy as "just friendship." And when your spouse asks you to stop interacting with that person, don't respond with pride. See that they are feeling threatened and care for them deeply in that. As Gary said, "You can't make your wife (or husband) feel cherished if you're protecting a relationship that threatens them." What Makes Us Vulnerable to Affairs Gary also reminded me that temptation doesn't appear out of nowhere—it finds cracks that already exist. Stress. Loneliness. Unmet needs. Disappointment. He said, "There was a time early in my marriage when everything felt like failure—our baby cried constantly, money was tight, and I felt like I couldn't get anything right. So when someone made me feel 'perfect,' it was intoxicating." Can't we all relate to that in some way? When life feels heavy, a moment of admiration feels like oxygen. But the healing you're seeking isn't found in a new connection—it's found in deeper connection at home and with the Lord. But that's why we must run to the right source for validation. Your worth isn't in who smiles at you—it's in the God who delights in you.That's right. Not a perfect wife who is doing the perfect things, or a perfect husband who is saying the perfect words. But the Lord who is constant. Guarding Your Heart and Protecting Your Marriage Let Gary's wisdom anchor you: "Be as faithful to your spouse as God is faithful to you. Be as committed to your marriage as Christ is committed to His Church." That kind of faithfulness isn't built on fear—it's built on love. When you keep Jesus at the center, attraction loses its power and intimacy becomes holy again. So today, ask yourself: What boundaries do I need to strengthen? Where have I let my guard down? And how can I draw closer—to Jesus and to my spouse—starting now? Again, we don't share this to frighten or shame. We are sharing to let you know that if you've had feelings for someone other than your spouse- you are not alone. You are not dirty, you are not broken. It doesn't mean you married the wrong person and it doesn't mean this new person is your soulmate. It means there was attraction and you are human. That is it. We love you and we are rooting for you!   Blessings, The Delight Your Marriage Team   PS - Want to bring our material to your churches? Check out delightyourmarriage.com/ipt to learn more about our In-Person Trainings and our January pilot programs! PPS - Ready to take the next step for yourself? Schedule a free Clarity Call with one of our Advisors at delightyourmarriage.com/cc. PPPS - Here's what one of our recent graduates had to say about our program: "My wife and I were roommates at best. I felt that she only wanted me around for a paycheck and to take care of the house. When we had sex it was duty sex where she wasn't present and there was no connection. I hated myself but I was wanting to cheat on her just to feel wanted and desired...[Now,] I have learned about how I was causing problems and putting way too much pressure on my wife...if I am not cheering her on, who is?  The truth was no one was, no wonder she was depressed, withdrawn, and suicidal.  I would be too. I now take pride in knowing that God entrusted her to me to lift her up, cheer her on, show her how good she is, encourage her, listen to her, and cherish her so she can grow...[Recently,] she told our daughters to move because she wanted to sit by me during movie night.  She has taken steps towards intimacy with me on her own without me pressuring her." #marriagepodcast #marriedlife #marriageadvice

How a Family Life Educator Took Her Marriage from Good to Great: Jen's Story Sometimes, the couples who join our programs aren't on the brink of divorce. They aren't fighting all the time. They actually have a good marriage. But deep down, they know it could be better. That's exactly where Jen was when she found Delight Your Marriage. "We Had a Good Marriage… But I Knew It Could Be More" Jen and her husband had been married nearly 15 years. They had three young kids, a busy life, and no major marital crisis. As she put it, "We were not in conflict with each other. We didn't have any major issues that we were dealing with from our past. You know, no unfaithfulness, nothing like that." Still, something inside her longed for more. She said to us, "I think the thing that drove me into it was knowing that our marriage was good, but understanding or having this feeling that it could be better." She remembered a pastor that had mentioned Delight Your Marriage to her and from there, took the leap of faith to schedule a Clarity Call. And what she discovered surprised her. Through honest reflection and intentional questions, she realized that while her marriage looked peaceful from the outside, her heart was carrying something deeper: resentment. She had no idea that this resentment had snuck into her heart, but once she saw it, she was set on rooting it out. When Self-Pity Sneaks Into a Good Marriage Not only did Jen identify resentment in her heart, but she discovered she had also been carrying self-pity. In listening to an episode of the podcast on self-pity before joining the program, she realized the topic was actually hitting her heart. [For those interested: https://delightyourmarriage.com/393-the-sin-of-self-pity-aka-pride/] In that moment, God started something new. Through the program, Jen learned to let go of resentment and embrace gratitude. She began to see her husband not as someone who wasn't "doing enough," but as a man faithfully serving and providing for their family. That simple—but powerful—shift changed everything. The Power of Peace in a Great Marriage As Jen walked through the program, she noticed a transformation in herself. Through the "heart" work, she found that her soul was also being renewed and that God was was reworking things her heart she didn't even know where there. And the result of that heart change? Peace. With Jen getting rid of the resentment, putting aside the self-pity, and bringing in appreciation, compliments, and admiration- it changed the atmosphere of their homes. Jen's husband even came home one evening during his busiest season, wrapped her in a hug, and said, "Thank you. I've noticed how much more peaceful our home has been." She hadn't been trying to get him to notice—but he did. What she considered a small change was actually impactful. "It was a change enough that he felt it too" How God Turns a Good Marriage Into a Great One When we allow God to transform us, our marriage begins to shift. Jen said, "Our connection as a result of, I think just the peacefulness in the home and between us and our gratefulness for each other has brought us closer together in intimacy…" Yes, even their physical intimacy changed! Before the program, intimacy was about once a week. Now? "Two or three times," she said, smiling. And not only has the frequency been upped, but they are enjoying each other more (a major win!) And it wasn't a formula or manipulation—it was the result of a softened heart. A Christ-Centered Model for Marriage Transformation As a former family life educator in her church, Jen had led marriage classes before. So she was skeptical—could DYM really offer something new? After completing the program, she said, "I haven't encountered anything as beneficial, and that actually works as well, as what DYM does. And I think a huge part of that is because of, well, the commitment to Scripture and actually putting it into practice." Jen's favorite part? The women's small group. "A place that's safe, encouraging, and honest," she said. "We prayed for each other, celebrated each other's wins, and shared struggles without fear of judgment. I've never experienced community like that." There's Always More God Wants to Do in Your Marriage When asked what she'd tell another wife who has a good marriage but knows there's more, Jen didn't hesitate: "I think I would just say...wherever you are in your marriage, if you think there's room for growth, then there's probably room for growth. So go after it, go after it, go after it...I would, for sure say, do it with DYM, because I think it's... I think it's a powerful, powerful program." Jen's words remind us that "good" isn't the goal. God desires great marriages—ones marked by peace, gratitude, and deep connection. Wherever your marriage is at: whether you're separated and not speaking or in a good place but wanting just a little more, we know that God is still working and He can change things for good.   With love, The Delight Your Marriage Team   PS - Ready to take the leap of faith and make that Clarity Call? Don't hesitate! Schedule a free call with one of our Clarity Call advisors at delightym.com/cc or +1 332-239-2379 PPS - Interested in having this program at your church? Check out delightyourmarriage.com/ipt for more information on joining our Pilot Program! PPPS - Here's is what (another) recent graduate has to say about our program: "Coming in, I knew my wife felt that I was unsafe for her, and that she felt alone and unknown by me. On my end, I felt deeply regretful of marrying her, angry with her, and hopeless to ever have a joyful marriage... [Now] I've seen progress in almost every area. I have grown in my own perspective on my wife. This has stunned me, and given me more hope than I've ever felt...I sincerely have a delight toward her that I've not felt in over a decade."

When Your Words Actually Bring Life (And How to Avoid Death): Interview With Ann & Dave Wilson Do you remember when you first fell in love—how easy it was to cheer him on? You'd light up at his stories. You'd say, "You're amazing!" and mean it. You noticed everything good. But somewhere along the way, the cheers turned into corrections. The same man who once felt like your hero now feels like your project. And instead of applause, he mostly hears... boo. That's what Ann Wilson discovered the day her husband, Dave, vulnerably told a room full of women that marriage sometimes felt that way to him—like he'd walked off the football field to a stadium full of boos. Ann was stunned. She thought she was helping him. But in that moment, she realized how her words had chipped away at his confidence and joy. I was so honored to talk with Dave and Ann Wilson—pastors, marriage speakers, authors of Vertical Marriage, and co-hosts of FamilyLife Today. For more than 30 years, they've led thousands of couples toward hope, healing, and connection. But their story didn't start with success. The Power of Words in Scripture Scripture is clear: "The tongue has the power of life and death." — Proverbs 18:21 Your words can resurrect a weary heart—or crush it. They can draw your husband home or make him quietly retreat. And as Dave and Ann share, the transformation didn't start with more compliments or clever communication—it started with repentance. A Night of Repentance and New Beginning in Marriage Ten years into marriage, they were on the verge of losing everything. Dave was busy building ministry– starting a new church at home and a chaplain for the Detroit Lions, often times away traveling with the team. Meanwhile, Ann was at home with two little boys, beginning to feel lonely, angry, and done. One night, sitting in a parked car late at night on their 10 year anniversary, she finally said, "I've lost all my feelings for you." Dave was stunned. He thought they were great. Ann had never shared otherwise. How could she say he was disregarding her? How could she say she felt alone and he was always away? As he reached for his planner to defend himself, the the gentle and firm voice of the Holy Spirit whispered: "Repent." He dropped his arguments and dropped to his knees—right there in the front seat of their Honda Accord. He realized he had put himself first instead of Jesus. In that sacred moment, Ann felt conviction too. God showed her that she'd made her husband and marriage an idol and she had been wanting Dave to fill every need, when that was never the role God was supposed to have. She got on her knees as well, surrendering her expectations back to the Lord. That night became the beginning of something new—a vertical marriage, grounded in repentance and intimacy with Jesus first. When You Stop Cheering on Your Spouse Years later, when Ann shared her "booing" moment at church, she used a visual: a plant. She explained that when you're dating, you pick a healthy, vibrant plant—your husband. But after a few years, you start noticing brown leaves. you take out the clippers, thinking it's your job to prune him. Before long, you've hacked away so much that there's barely a stump left. After this sermon, Ann saw a couple that in the auditorium that stayed long after everyone had left. She approached them and saw an older man, head in his hands, tears dropping heavy on the ground, his wife sitting next to him bewildered. When asked what was wrong, he simply pointed at the stump and said, "That's me." It's not that we don't love our husbands. We do. But we've forgotten that change is God's job—not ours. Our job is to water with words that bring life. How to Speak Life (When You Want to Yell) Ann admits she used to "speak her mind" freely—then justify it as honesty. But over time, God taught her a new rhythm of restraint and prayer, asking "Lord, should I say this? If yes, when should I say it? And how should I say it?" Not in an anxious way, but surrendered and thoughtful, knowing how much her words matter. Just that short prayer created space for the Holy Spirit to guide her words. One night, when Dave mentioned getting criticism on his sermons, her first instinct was to correct him ("Maybe if you studied more…"). But instead, she prayed that quick prayer—and said, "I can't imagine the weight you carry, with thousands relying on your walk with God." Dave turned around, pulled her close and whispered, "You are my life." Her empathy, not critique, drew him near. Words That Heal Ann now also prays daily, "God, show me the greatness in my husband." That prayer changes everything—because God always sees the greatness He planted there, even when we can't. Romans 12:2 says, "Be transformed by the renewing of your mind." When we ask God to renew how we think about our spouse, our words follow. And when our words change, the whole atmosphere of the home begins to heal. "Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." — Proverbs 16:24 Speaking Life Doesn't Mean Losing Your Voice This isn't about silencing yourself or ignoring real problems, but when encouragement becomes your default, your occasional hard truth carries more weight. Your words no longer sound like attack—they sound like love. And as Dave says, "When you praise your man, he becomes better. Critique doesn't motivate—it deflates. But genuine admiration calls out his God-given potential." Repentance Starts Revival If you've been critical, impatient, or weary—we get it. And it's okay. The path back is repentance. It's not a shame-filled, heavy thing. It's the most freeing thing you can do. Start there. Let God soften your heart again. Ask Him to show you the greatness in your spouse. Then, begin to speak it out—one small sentence at a time. You can do this.   Blessings,   The Delight Your Marriage Team   PS - If you're ready for the next step in healing your marriage, even if you're the only one doing the work, we're ready to talk with you. Schedule a free Clarity Call at delightym.com/cc or call +1 332-239-2379. PPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate: "I am in control of my mood by controlling my own behavior instead of letting it get set for me by my husband's behavior and what I expect of him. I have released expectations of my husband. I see him as God's son now, which means he is NOT my responsibility to fix, direct, correct, discipline, etc. and instead I love, support, encourage and pray for him.  I am less controlling of my husband and I am more content with life in general."

How a Farmer Learned to Lead & Love in His Marriage On the outside, Jake looked like a happy-go-lucky farmer. But inside, his marriage was falling apart. Control, years of infertility struggles, alcohol abuse, and pornography created a wall between him and his wife. Even counseling couldn't break through the scar tissue of pain she carried. At one point, she said her willingness to work on the marriage was zero—she was ready to leave. Jake was out of options. Yet, in God's kindness, what seemed like the worst day became the turning point. His confession of addiction cracked open the first door to healing. What a Farmer Learned About Love in Marriage As a man who worked with horses and cattle his whole life, Jake knew how to communicate safety and calm with animals. Yet God showed him—through the story of David, Bathsheba, and Nathan's rebuke—that he wasn't doing the same for his wife. The Lord sent Nathan to David. When he came to him, he said, "There were two men in a certain town, one rich and the other poor. 2 The rich man had a very large number of sheep and cattle, 3 but the poor man had nothing except one little ewe lamb he had bought. He raised it, and it grew up with him and his children. It shared his food, drank from his cup and even slept in his arms. It was like a daughter to him. 4 "Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal for the traveler who had come to him. Instead, he took the ewe lamb that belonged to the poor man and prepared it for the one who had come to him." 5 David burned with anger against the man and said to Nathan, "As surely as the Lord lives, the man who did this must die! 6 He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing and had no pity." 7 Then Nathan said to David, "You are the man! This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: 'I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul. 8 I gave your master's house to you, and your master's wives into your arms. I gave you all Israel and Judah. And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more. 9 Why did you despise the word of the Lord by doing what is evil in his eyes? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his wife to be your own. You killed him with the sword of the Ammonites. 10 Now, therefore, the sword will never depart from your house, because you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own.' - 2 Samuel 12:1-10 The revelation was life-changing: God entrusted him with His daughter. Loving her meant creating safety, trust, and gentleness. Jake realized that real leadership wasn't control—it was love. Learned to Lead by First Laying Down Pride When Jake finally joined the program, he discovered what he had been missing for years: a biblically based roadmap for marriage. The forgiveness modules were the breakthrough. He had carried anger for so long that it felt like part of his identity. But through forgiveness, Jake experienced freedom he had never known. Old wounds didn't need apologies to be healed—he released them to God. His wife noticed almost immediately. For the first time in years, she felt safe with him. From Walls to Sanctuary: A Marriage Transformed The changes weren't just in Jake. His home transformed. He stopped reacting in anger—even when a box fell on his head in the garage. His kids froze, waiting for the outburst that never came. That moment opened his eyes to the unsafe environment his rage had created—and the freedom God was now building in its place. His home shifted from a place of survival to a sanctuary of love. He began looking forward to coming home, slipping away with his wife for time together, and seeing joy reflected in his children. Leading with Love in Everyday Life Jake learned to lead as a husband and father, not by demanding respect but by modeling Christlike love. When walking in after a long day, he chose to bring joy instead of frustration. When tension rose, he chose reassurance over arguments. When intimacy came, it was no longer duty—it was connection, passion, and contentment. Jake also says he has never felt so sexually satisfied, not because of more encounters, but because of the depth of love in his marriage. A Legacy of Leadership The transformation didn't stop with Jake and his wife. His children are being raised in a different household than they were 12 weeks earlier. His daughters now see how a husband should love his wife. His son now has a model of godly leadership to follow. Generations are being changed because one farmer decided to learn how to lead with love in his marriage. Final Thoughts Marriage was never meant to be endured—it was designed to be a sanctuary of love, trust, and joy. Jake's story shows that no matter how high the walls are, God can dismantle them brick by brick. True leadership in marriage doesn't come from control but from gentleness, safety, and sacrificial love. And the care that you give in other areas of your life is worth investing your family as well. For any husband who feels stuck, hopeless, or unsure of how to change, remember: you can learn to lead. And when you lead with love, everything changes—your marriage, your family, and your legacy. Blessings, The Delight Your Marriage Team PS - Ready for the next step? Our team of Clarity Advisors are ready to talk with you. Call +1 332-239-2379 or visit delightyourmarriage.com/cc to take the next step of faith in healing your marriage. PPS - Here is what (another) recent grad has to say: I was blindsided and stuck in my own self righteousness. He has wronged me in many ways in the past too but the course allowed me to see my own behaviour too, and I have forgiven him for the past and I feel we can really start afresh, looking at him with new eyes again. I am very hopeful for the future and I enjoy the weekends spending time with my family. Even if we may go through bad patches in the future we now have a framework to use. Nobody told us any of this before.

Arguments that spiral out of control often leave behind words no one meant and wounds that take time to heal. Escalation may feel like "getting it all out," but according to our guest today, it is actually poison to a marriage. Dr. Kevin Downing, founder of Turning Point Counseling in Southern California, has spent decades helping couples, pastors, and families find healthier ways to connect. His insights on escalation, self-control, and parenting bring both biblical grounding and practical tools. Why Escalation Is "Pure Poison" That Often Leads to Divorce Research from Dr. John Gottman revealed that the type of conflict in marriage can predict divorce. The number one predictor? Escalation. When escalation takes over, brain scans show that the logical, rational side of the brain shuts down. That's why conversations in anger lead to slammed doors, reckless words, or ultimatums. With half the brain offline, no real problem-solving can happen. We often think that the "truth" does comes out during these heated moments of escalation, and sometimes spouses even push each other to the brink in an attempt to "get the truth out." But the reality is, this isn't so. The words spoken at the peak of anger are not reliable and usually bring regret. As Dr. Downing explained, escalation is pure poison for marriage. The Fruit of the Spirit in Your Marriage Scripture gives a different path. Galatians 5 teaches that self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. Self-control means more than biting one's tongue; it is the Spirit's power to respond with gentleness when provoked. It is choosing a soft answer when the flesh screams for retaliation. This is what keeps hearts tender and marriages safe. Practical Tools for De-Escalation Dr. Downing offered practical tools couples can use immediately: Use "I" language. Instead of "You're losing it," say, "I need a few minutes to calm down. I promise to return." Pause at night. Words like, "I love you. I'm not going anywhere. I'm sure we can work this out" create security before sleep. Reassure often. A 10-second "wedding-vow refresh" can melt deep insecurity: "You're my one and only—for better or worse, for life." Don't debate history. Replace "I remember it better than you" with "We have different recollections." Then drop it. Offer a new experience. Arguments rarely change minds, but kindness does. Just as a restaurant replaces a meal instead of defending reviews, a spouse can create change by responding with love instead of debate. How to Be on the Same Page about Parenting Conflict in parenting can be just as destructive if spouses are not aligned. But, Dr. Downing emphasized that parenting plans should not be created in the heat of a crisis. An argument is not the time to create a parenting plan, just like the middle of a storm is not the time to create a rain plan. You want to do these things outside of the state of chaos. Instead, couples should sit down calmly after the crisis is done and start with the big picture. What goals do you have for your children? You may ask yourselves: Do we want our children to be God-loving? Self-supporting? Respectful? Loving toward siblings and connected to church? Agreeing on these goals allows a united front in daily decisions. One of the greatest gifts for children is seeing parents present a unified approach. Correcting a spouse in front of the kids undermines authority and invites manipulation. Behind closed doors, differences can be discussed and resolved without giving children the leverage to divide. The Two-Minute Timeout Dr. Downing also shared a simple, powerful discipline tool for parenting: the two-minute timeout. When a child disobeys, responds disrespectfully, or hits a sibling, the consequence is two minutes with two questions: Why were you in timeout? Will this behavior happen again today or tonight? To establish safety and connection, younger children are also given a hug afterward. This short, consistent approach helps children take ownership while keeping parents calm. It prevents long punishments that discourage, as well as shouting matches that model escalation. In fact, the timeout often benefits the parent just as much—allowing emotions to cool so rational thinking returns. By the time children reach their teens, the drill is so familiar that a simple question—"Do you need a timeout?"—is usually enough to prompt self-correction. Final Thoughts Every couple disagrees sometimes, and every parent has those chaotic moments—but they don't have to end in distance or regret. Escalation will always push hearts apart, but Spirit-led self-control and kindness can draw them close again. The beautiful truth is that transformation doesn't always come through big, complicated steps. Often it's the small, intentional choices—pausing before speaking, offering reassurance instead of accusation, giving a child two minutes to reset—that shift the entire atmosphere of a home. Each moment of choosing gentleness over escalation is an invitation for God's presence to flood your marriage and your family. You can do this. God bless you!   With love, The Delight Your Marriage Team PS - For more information on Dr. Kevin Downing and his work, please visit turningpointcounseling.org PPS - Interested in some free resources? Check out delightyourmarriage.com/downing for a downloadable bundle including resources mentioned in today's podcast. PPPS - Did you get a chance to check out the Midlife Summit? They are doing an encore presentation this weekend and it is not too late to catch it! Come check out Belah and other coaches as they share insight on hormones, intimacy, and all things midlife. Click here for more info. PPPPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate: "When we did talk it would often end with blaming each other and an argument.  I believed that if my wife could just be more affectionate and loving our marriage would be much better.  I quickly realized in the first few weeks of MR, that when I take the lead to make her feel safe, cherished, and heard, she responds by being kinder and more loving towards me."

Body obsession has been a toughy for me all my life.  Wanting to be thin. Wanting to be beautiful. Wanting to fit into x size jeans. Wanting to see x on the scale. (The number of New Year's resolutions based on this makes me embarrassed.)  And once I am triggered about thinking I'm not thin, I would eat to assuage those hard feelings.  Or other hard feelings, I'd eat. Was it sin?  Was it a sin, for ME?  Let's put a pin in that thought. I think a major way the enemy tempts us nowadays is through distraction.  Is distraction a sin? Well, if God has a will for our lives and there are things that are getting in the way of that, that's what I would call sin. We can't be ignorant of his scenes.  If your insecurity about your body robs you of sexual desire and confidence in the bedroom -- you need to wage war against this.  God calls you to be a spouse.  If something about your body makes you insecure, it is robbing you of the connection you are meant to have with your spouse. Men, maybe it's your member's size, performance, or belly, ladies, maybe it's your belly, body's shape, or giggle (believe me, I get it!!) That's why I mean to encourage you to wage war against this distraction.  And honestly, if it's not allowing you to do God's will -- I call it sin.  If the amount of thoughts that we give to something is greater than the thoughts we give to God (worshipping Him / His word / His tasks / His rest / delight with Him / loving His people well)  ...then might we be serving an idol?  I definitely was.  And it's on me to wage war against that idol of body perfection because it hinders every other good thing God wants for me; what He's called me to be about. So, I hope you'll be encouraged that you can get freedom from this, as I believe it's a miraculous freedom I'm walking in now and have for some time. Thanking God for it! I hope it blesses you.  Love,  Belah PS -- We'd love to help you. Join a Clarity Call to help us know your situation and if we can help your marriage thrive in every area of intimacy - emotional, spiritual & physical. delightyourmarriage.com/cc   

When I hit "record" on the very first Delight Your Marriage podcast 10 years ago, my mic stand was a Quaker Oats container.  I had a dream, a story, and a hope that I thought could help others.  I just had a few loaves and fishes to offer—with a world in need. Now—500 episodes later—we've seen Him do it: hundreds marriages restored in our programs directly, many thousands of families transformed through our podcast, lives healed all over the world.  And yet, this milestone isn't just about what God has done at Delight Your Marriage—it's about what He wants to do next, through all of us. Here are three lessons from this episode I believe will bless you right now: 1) Do not be overcome by evil The world's problems can feel overwhelming, but your greatest impact is in your sphere of influence—your heart, your habits, your marriage. That's where revival begins. And it does spread! 2) Do courage enough and it becomes confidence. At first, obedience to God feels risky and scary. But when you keep stepping forward with courage, it grows into confidence. And then it's simply confidence in who you are and how God made you to be and impact others.  3) Live the Love Chapter at home–first. 1 Corinthians 13 isn't just for weddings—it's your daily assignment. Love is patient, kind, forgiving. Revival doesn't start on stages—it starts in your living room. Hear how Delight Your Marriabe began and where we're heading in the next 10 years! We're going be in-person trainings (16 starting this fall!), best selling books, self-directed courses, certified coaches, live events, weekend retreats, and global impact—transforming marriages, churches, and even whole communities. We're just getting started—and you're part of it. With gratitude, Belah P.S. Even if you don't listen right away, here's how you can step into what's next: For you  Book a Clarity Call to begin your own coaching transformation: delightyourmarriage.com/cc For others Bring In-Person Training to your church or small group (launching January): hosting a group where marriages can heal in your community or church. Let us know if you would like to become a part: office@delightyourmarriage.com  Help us find the Director of Operations role – take a look or send it to a friend. Partner with us financially to sponsor pastors and churches in need (tax-deductible): office@delightyourmarriage.com

499-Sinful v. Holy Fierce Intimacy I was confused. There I was a new bride, having saved myself for marriage… only to find out that my new husband wanted me to do SINFUL things. Where did he get all this "inspiration" anyway? Oh, I knew: sinful places. So, of course, I refused. And of course, it brought mutual anger (covering each of our hurt). What's your story? If it's even remotely like mine, I needed to change the lens in which I was viewing sex. I wasn't viewing sex from a biblical standpoint. I was viewing sex from a sexually perverted lens. (Even though I saved my sex for marriage, I certainly received messages from the world that perverted the purity and unashamedness that is meant to be in the bedroom.) I was thinking about a sinful visual I had, at some point, encountered that I knew was wrong. Instead of recognizing the COMPLETELY different and HOLY context of my marriage, I decided the act was associated with my experience that was not God's will. Maybe you've gone through something profoundly tragic, if so, my heart goes out to you. And now you're married and there are so many things that feel hard to move towards because of the past. There is hope. Hope for healing and even hope for desire. Be washed by truth. That's my aim in this conversation. That you will realize that our God is a God of intimacy and freedom in your marriage. When you wash your mind with the truth of His design within the marriage bed, may you slowly wade (or dive in) into the waters of marital intimacy and find out it's nice and warm (with your spouse 🙂 ) Biblical Sexual Boundaries: What God Says Clearly God's Word is not silent on sexuality. We're called to flee sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18), honor marriage and keep the marriage bed pure (Hebrews 13:4), and rejoice in the wife (or husband) of our youth (Proverbs 5). What does that mean practically? It means saying no to adultery, fornication, pornography, and lust outside of marriage. But it also means saying a big yes to intimacy within marriage. God designed it. He delights in it. And He calls it holy. Christian Sexual Freedom in Marriage Here's the good news: within the covenant of marriage, you are FREE. Passion, tenderness, variety—when it's just the two of you, it's not dirty or off-limits. Too often, we add rules God never wrote. We act like Pharisees in the bedroom, burdening ourselves with shame. But Scripture doesn't say you have to find every position or practice word-for-word in the Bible. It says to stay within God's boundaries. That's it. Inside those boundaries, freedom is His gift. Masculine vs. Feminine Sexuality in God's Design I often talk about a helpful framework: feminine sexuality tends to be calming, connective, tender—while masculine sexuality is passionate, fierce, and energetic. Neither is wrong! In fact, both are needed! But here's the key: most wives won't feel safe to enjoy masculine passion until the feminine is deeply honored. Gentle connection lays the foundation for fierce intimacy. When both are present, intimacy becomes the oneness God intended. One Flesh Marriage Meaning When Scripture says the two become one flesh (Matthew 19:5), it's not talking about shared bank accounts or chore charts. It's talking about the mystery and beauty of sexual union. That oneness is not only for procreation—it's also for pleasure, connection, and spiritual unity. You were designed to be "naked and unashamed." That's God's original intention for your marriage. Repentance and Sexual Purity Here's the challenge: what you consume shapes what you expect. If your eyes are fixed on media that glamorizes lust, adultery, or pornography, your heart will follow. Jesus warned us—lust in the heart is adultery (Matthew 5:28). But repentance is always available. God's kindness leads us to turn back (Romans 2:4). His grace washes us clean and empowers us to start again. Inside His boundaries, intimacy is safe, holy, and life-giving. Healing and Hope for Your Marriage Bed If intimacy feels impossible for you—whether because of past sin, abuse, shame, or just exhaustion—please don't give up. You can heal. You can rediscover joy. You can learn how God wired you for intimacy, and how to give and receive love in your marriage bed. I want you to know: fierce intimacy is possible, for men and women. And it is holy. Within God's design, it's not just permitted—it's celebrated. Final Thoughts Friend, don't let the enemy steal your freedom by pushing you into guilt—or into sin. God's Word draws the boundaries, and inside them, He invites you to DELIGHT. We are rooting for you. Blessings, The Delight Your Marriage Team PS - Ready to take the next step? Schedule a free call with one of our Clarity Advisors today. This free Clarity Call will give you insight into the health of your marriage and your best next step. Whatever is hindering you from taking your next step, you are not too far gone. Sign up here for your free Clarity Call! PPS - Need a little extra coaching on this whole holy fierce intimacy thing? Well, the timing could not be better! Our very own Belah Rose is a keynote speaker for Date Your Spouse's 2025 Sex Seminar. All the nitty-gritty questions, all the understanding and support. Check out this link to register for this seminar and catch not only Belah's teaching, but other intimacy experts as well! 🔥 (Want to catch up on the Sex Seminars from previous years? You got it. Click here to register for access for this year's panel AND previous years!) PPPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate: "Before DYM, there was a lot of tension and stress in our marriage and disconnect. My husband had affairs and these were replayed constantly in my head even though one of them occurred 25 years ago... After going through the program, the stress is gone... I told him I have forgiven him and intimacy is something I desire now and enjoy with my husband. We are both so much happier in our marriage! I have also started back on my spiritual journey with God, that I have been away from for many years."

Creating Better Habits for a Better Marriage: Michael's Story You love your wife. You love your family. And you'd do anything for them. But if you're honest… things don't feel quite the same as they used to. Maybe you're exhausted from work, the baby, or the endless list of responsibilities. Maybe your evenings with your wife now look more like two roommates collapsed on the couch—silent, tired, and just hoping tomorrow will be better. That's exactly where Michael found himself. A good man. A loving husband. A dad who adored his toddler son. And yet—he noticed the spark in his marriage was fading. Instead of ignoring it, he made a decision that changed everything. And maybe that's where you are today. Masculinity Reclaimed Foundations for Lasting Change Michael wasn't looking for fluff. He wasn't looking for self-help tricks that sound nice but fall flat. He wanted something biblical. Something that honored God's design for intimacy. Something practical enough to implement while juggling fatherhood and career. That's when he discovered Masculinity Reclaimed Foundations. From the very beginning, he noticed it wasn't complicated. Daily gratitude. Encouraging words. Apologies when needed. Intentional listening. Simple? Yes. Easy? Not always. But transformational? Absolutely. Michael said it "sparked something new." He began noticing his wife respond in ways she hadn't before. Even more surprising—she started picking up the same habits he was practicing, without ever being taught them directly. One morning, while out on a walk, she said, "I forgot to write my gratitudes today." Michael was stunned. Gratitudes were part of his new daily rhythm—something the program had challenged him to do. He hadn't even invited her into it. But she saw his consistency, and she was inspired to follow. That's the power of godly leadership. Christian Marriage Intimacy That Transforms Daily Life Michael realized intimacy was about more than the physical. Yes, God designed sex as a beautiful, holy gift—but intimacy starts long before the bedroom. When a wife feels safe, known, and wholeheartedly cherished, her heart opens. That's the essence of Christian marriage intimacy: a holistic connection that touches body, soul, and spirit. For Michael, it meant slowing down. Looking his wife in the eye. Really listening when she spoke—not just nodding while his mind wandered. Offering compliments, even when it felt small. Expressing love, even in the middle of an ordinary day. And the results? Their evenings shifted. Instead of collapsing into silence, they began talking again. Laughing again. Rebuilding the kind of bond that made marriage joyful instead of draining. Maybe that's what's missing in your marriage. Maybe you're craving closeness but don't know where to start. Michael would tell you—start small. Gratitude. Encouragement. Listening. And watch how God multiplies it. Christian Husband Leadership That Inspires Your Wife Here's the truth: someone has to go first. Too many men wait, hoping their wives will change before they do. But waiting is not leadership. Michael discovered that a Christian husband's leadership is about modeling the very change you want to see. Choosing gratitude when negativity feels easier. Speaking life instead of criticism. Creating joy where tension used to rule. Surrendering pride in order to serve. And his wife responded. Not because he pressured her. Not because he demanded it. But because love that reflects Christ is contagious. Friend, this is the hard but freeing truth: leadership begins with you. Your wife may or may not immediately change. But your consistent obedience to Christ's call—to love your wife as He loved the church—will never return void. Marriage Transformation Stories That Stir Hope When Michael first joined the program, he rated his marriage a 7 or 8 out of 10. Good. Steady. But he knew something was missing. After stepping into these practices, his wife said something that stopped him in his tracks: "This has been transformational for our marriage." That's not just improvement. That's restoration. And Michael's story isn't unique. Week after week, we hear marriage transformation stories from men all over the world—young dads, empty-nesters, husbands married for two years or fifty. The common thread? They chose to lead with love. To step into accountability. To embrace God's way, not culture's distortions. And God met them there. If He can do it for Michael, He can do it for you. Final Thoughts Let me ask you directly: where is your marriage today? Maybe it feels "good but not great." Maybe the spark is gone, and you're worried what things will look like in five or ten years. Maybe you're exhausted from parenting and silently grieving the closeness you once had. Friend, you don't have to settle. Michael didn't. And the best part? His wife followed his lead without him ever asking her to. That's what happens when a man chooses to be the first one to change. Michael made a decision. He chose to take a step forward. And it began with one simple action: a conversation. That's where you can begin, too.   With love,   The Delight Your Marriage Team   PS - Are you ready to take the next step in improving your marriage? We are here for you! Schedule a free Clarity Call and take the first step to transforming your marriage. PPS - Here is a quote from (another) recent graduate:  "Our marriage was doomed to fail if we continued with the same unhealthy patterns that we had been using for years. This was a very hard process of self evaluation. My relationship with God was put at the top of my list for each day and I was able to start to feel connected to Him again and have loved being in the word. I also realized that I was taking myself and life way too seriously and have had to force myself to be more playful which has helped to keep the mood in our relationship more fun and light."

497-Living a Life of No Regrets in Marriage and Faith [Re-Release] (Previously Titled: Changing OURSELVES in Light of Eternity) Hello, listeners! As we continue to work on our recording our very first in-person trainings, we hope you will enjoy some of the re-releases from the past few years of the Delight Your Marriage podcast (It has certainly been sweet to us to re-listen and share some of our favorites with you!) For this week, we hope you will enjoy a little bit of Christmas in the summertime as we talk about living life in light of eternity. Christmas is certainly a wonderful time to remember who Jesus is and why he is worthy of our lives, but we think a balmy day in August is a good time to remember that also. Enjoy this re-release and we look forward to sharing some other favorite episodes with you soon! God bless! Marriage as Your First Assignment Before God When we think about standing before Jesus one day, many of us imagine wanting to hear the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant." But how often do we connect that vision with our marriages? The truth is, God has entrusted you with a spouse—not by accident, not as an afterthought, but as a sacred assignment. Your husband or wife is your first ministry. Loving God by Loving Your Spouse Jesus told us the greatest commandment is to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength—and the second is like it: to love our neighbor as ourselves. And who is your closest neighbor? Your spouse. No one else can encourage your spouse like you can. No one else can pray for them, serve them, or provide safety and intimacy in the same way. Your marriage is one of the clearest ways to live out your love for God. When you choose to love your husband or wife with gentleness, patience, and sacrificial love, you are actually loving Jesus. Integrity, Intimacy, and Safety Loving your spouse well isn't just about words—it's about integrity. It's about creating true safety by guarding your heart, your eyes, and your thoughts. It's about saying no to distractions that cheapen your focus—whether that's pornography, busyness, or pouring your energy into hobbies instead of your home. When you choose discipline, integrity, and faithfulness, your spouse experiences the safety God designed marriage to provide. And intimacy—emotional, spiritual, and physical—flows from that foundation. A Life with No Regrets This life is short. One day, you and I will stand before Jesus. What will we be able to say about how we loved? Did we prioritize our marriages? Did we love our spouses as Christ asked us to? Did we make sacrifices to ensure our marriages reflected His heart? The good news is—it's not too late. Today, you can choose to love your spouse as your first assignment before God. You can choose to realign your priorities and live with no regrets. Your Invitation Your marriage is not just about you and your spouse—it's about reflecting Jesus to the world. When you love your spouse well, you glorify God. Take some time today to ask: What does it mean for me to love God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength? How can I show that love to my spouse in practical, tangible ways? What do I want to be true of me when I stand before Jesus? Friend, don't waste the life God has entrusted to you. Start with the person He's placed right by your side. Your first neighbor. You can do this. God bless you, The Delight Your Marriage Team PS - If you are ready to join our Coaching Programs, we would love to chat with you! Schedule a free Clarity Call with one of our Clarity Call advisors and discover what your marriage needs to fully connected once again. PPS - We are doing a pilot launch in churches this Fall! The Masculinity Reclaimed & Delighted Wife programs that you know and love are being adapted for in-person groups and we cannot wait to show them to you. If you'd like your church to be a part of our pilot program, please check out https://delightyourmarriage.com/church/ PPPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate: "We were both resentful of how we treated each other. My expectations were rarely met and I could be quite cold. My moods would overflow into my parenting and even work. After 20+ years of this I had very little hope that things could change. I was not going to leave my family, but I did seek to escape through alcohol and pornography at times... [Now,] My wife has told me she feels safe. She has begun to trust that my change is not a passing fad. I have gained understanding in how to love her well. I look forward to being around her, and to pampering her and loving her well. This has overflowed into intimacy emotionally, spiritually, and physically...I didn't realize how much pain I was causing her, or how self focused I was. I was trying to get her to change and should have been working on me."

Abiding in God's Love by Living a Life of Surrender (Formerly Titled: Real Love Takes Sacrifice) We know the Bible says "God is love" (1 John 4:8) and that He loved us first. But if we're honest, many of us spend more time wondering, "Does God really love me?" than asking the deeper, more revealing question: "Do I truly love Him?" That's the heart of today's message. God's love for you is unshakable, unchanging, and eternal. The real question is whether your love for Him is genuine—and if it's showing up in your life the way true love always does: through sacrifice. When You Don't Feel God's Love Maybe you've been a Christian for years but can't remember the last time you felt God's love. You've read the verses. You've prayed the prayers. But it's like you're in a spiritual drought. The truth? Feelings aren't the measure of His love. But there's often a missing link when we feel disconnected from God—and it's not that He's holding back. It's that our love for Him hasn't moved from words to action. Abiding in God's Love Requires Sacrifice Jesus said plainly, "If you love Me, keep My commands" (John 14:15). Love isn't just warm feelings or goosebumps in worship—it's obedience. And obedience requires sacrifice. That sacrifice may look like: Giving up your comfort Laying down your need for control Surrendering your demand to understand everything before trusting Releasing opinions that don't align with His Word It's the same principle in marriage—love grows deeper when it's willing to lay self aside for the other's good. Our relationship with Jesus is no different. The Pearl of Great Price and God's Love In Matthew 13:45–46, Jesus tells of a merchant who sold all he had to buy one pearl of great value. That's what loving God looks like—letting go of everything else so you can fully hold onto Him. You don't get the pearl without selling all. You don't experience the fullness of God's love without the surrender that real love demands. Beyond the Honeymoon: Abiding in God's Love Daily Some of us have had that powerful, early experience with God—a "honeymoon" season where His presence felt constant and overwhelming. But just like in marriage, the relationship matures. The emotions may not always be intense, but the love grows deeper as it's proven through daily, intentional sacrifice. Surrender: The Path to Experiencing God's Love If you want a fresh revelation of God's love, start here: Ask Him to show you where He's calling you to surrender. Choose obedience in that area—even when it costs you. Trust Him with the outcome. When you give Him your heart in this way, you'll discover what you can't manufacture through feelings alone: the deep, abiding joy of walking in step with His love. Blessings,  The Delight Your Marriage Team PS - If you're ready to take the next step toward real transformation in your marriage, I'd love to invite you to a free Clarity Call. It's a safe, judgment-free space to share your story, discover what's been holding you back, and see if our program is the right fit for you. Don't wait—your next season of connection, joy, and hope could start today. PPS - Here is a quote from a recent grad: "I have daily devotions now, I practice gratitude daily now. I have more confidence and less anxiety around people or stressful situation. I feel closer to God now...what could be a bigger impact than that?"

After nearly four decades of marriage, Kim and Russ had done the hard work. They had raised five children, invested in professional counseling, read marriage books, and sought spiritual guidance. And still, something was missing. The breakthrough moments they experienced through the years never seemed to last. They still longed for a deeper connection and the kind of love they had always dreamed of. The Pain of "Almost" Fixing It Kim felt emotionally unsafe for far too long. Arguments were frequent, and intimacy had become something to endure rather than enjoy. She said, "We spent tens of thousands of dollars on counseling… but nothing stuck." They had learned communication tools, gone on retreats, and practiced new habits—but it felt like patchwork. They both feared they'd never experience the closeness they longed for. What Made This Marriage Transformation Different When a close friend experienced radical transformation in her marriage through our program, Kim and Russ took notice. Russ joined the men's program first—not out of crisis, but out of conviction. He realized he hadn't been loving Kim as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5), and he wanted to grow. As Russ surrendered his old ways, Kim noticed a clear shift. He was more present, more loving, and no longer reactive. Over time, her heart softened too. Though initially hesitant, Kim eventually joined the women's program, encouraged by the changes she saw and her own desire to grow. "I wanted to catch up," she shared with us. The Breakthrough They Couldn't Find Anywhere Else What set this experience apart wasn't just the information—it was the biblical framework, practical tools, and deep community that made lasting transformation possible. Together, they: Ended their cycle of arguing Rebuilt emotional safety and trust Restored intimacy in every sense—physical, emotional, and spiritual Learned how to love and respect one another as God intended Russ shared with us, "I've been in church all my life, but I never really learned how to live out Scripture in my marriage. This taught me how." A Marriage They Never Thought Was Possible Today, Kim and Russ say their marriage is "a 9 or 10." Not because it's perfect—but because they've been changed from the inside out. They speak with laughter and warmth. They tease each other. They still work through conflict—but without yelling, shutdowns, or spirals that last for days or weeks. Now? They hold hands again. They share their hearts freely. They support each other's needs—spiritually, emotionally, physically. Russ opens the car door for Kim every time. And she waits for him to do it. Healing Beyond Just the Two of Them The impact of their transformation has rippled outward—into their relationships with their grown children, with friends, and even in their church. What used to feel tense or guarded has become relaxed. Warm. Full of grace. When asked to describe their marriage today, each responded with one word: 'Delight' (Russ) & 'Thankful' (Kim). That's not where they began. But by God's grace—and a willingness to grow—they now live in daily gratitude. For the peace in their home. For the tenderness in their marriage. And for the God who redeems all things.   Blessings, The Delight Your Marriage Team   PS - Are you were Russ & Kim were before? 35+ years into marriage and feeling defeated and discouraged? You are not alone and your marriage story isn't over. Schedule a free Clarity Call to take the next step. PPS - We are launching a Church Training pilot program this Fall! All the incredible material of DYM, created for weekly church trainings. It's going to change lives and we are so excited to see it! If you'd like your church to participate, check out our Church Training page for more info. PPPS - Here is a quote from (another) recent graduate: "Often my wife would complain that I wasn't listening, didn't understand her well, and that she was walking on eggshells all the time (that feeling was mutual). Even though we were good friends and we had regular dates and romantic times together, she didn't see any depth to 'us'...I realized that more than our intimacy, God wanted to meet me and change my heart…Finally God had my attention and He started working in many different areas of my life, that had just been swept under the carpet for far too long…[I] learned to truly put myself on the cross, to draw close to my wife and seek to minister to her needs first."

Don't Waste the Great Gift of Influence (Formerly titled: Don't Waste Your Impact) It's easy to underestimate just how much weight your words, actions, and attitudes carry—especially in your marriage. But the truth is, your spouse is the person you impact most in this life. And that impact can either build up or break down. It can draw them closer to Jesus—or push them further away. Whether you're aware of it or not, you are influencing every day. The real question is: how are you using that influence? In today's episode, we're exploring what Scripture and research say about the power of marriage, how your smallest habits shape your legacy, and why taking your influence seriously could be one of the most important decisions you make—not just for your spouse, but for eternity. Why Your Marriage Holds the Greatest Influence in Your Life Research from the Holmes-Rahe Stress Scale confirms it: five of the top ten most stressful life events are marriage-related. Death of a spouse. Divorce. Separation. Reconciliation. Even getting married. All of these events shape us more than we realize—impacting not only our emotions but our physical health. That's why your role in your marriage is far from trivial. It's your greatest mission field. Beyond your spouse, your children are next in line for your influence. Their spiritual formation, character, and even understanding of Jesus may start with how they see you live. Influence Starts with the Smallest Seeds We often think influence must be grand—but it's the consistent, daily seeds that grow lasting fruit. Whether it's trying to put stubborn littles to bed while keeping a joyful attitude ("count it all joy when you face trials"), or sharing a genuine compliment with your spouse that communicates admiration or safety—these small acts build a legacy. The greatest impact comes through simple faithfulness: planting seeds of respect, encouragement, and love, again and again. Want to Be Effective? Influence with Soft Eyes and a Gentle Tone Influence is not control. It's not demanding. And it's certainly not harsh. If your heart is full of conviction, but your tone is sharp, your spouse may never hear your heart. Instead, they'll hear rejection, judgment, and intensity. That shuts hearts down. Instead, remember this: Soft Eyes Gentle Tone Slow Pace No, it's not an acronym yet—but it's a powerful practice. If it matters to you, slow down. Look at them with kindness. Speak with a spirit of gentleness. Because your delivery may determine whether your words are received—or rejected. Faith Isn't Meant to Stay Silent—So Stop Hiding It Somewhere along the way, many of us have absorbed the idea that faith is a purely private matter. But Scripture doesn't support that. Paul talks openly about his prayers, his tears, his awe at God's love. You don't need to boast—but you do need to be real. Share how you follow Jesus. Let your spouse and your kids see that He's not just a Sunday idea. He's your daily King. Character First. Ministry Second. The Bible is clear: if you can't manage your own household, how can you lead in the church? (1 Tim. 3, Titus 1) Your first ministry is your spouse. Your first testimony is how you treat them when no one is watching. Your first assignment is to steward the influence God has entrusted to you—in your tone, your time, and your tenderness. Don't Waste the Great Gift of Influence If you've ever caused your spouse to spend days mulling over a harsh word, you've influenced—for harm. That matters. God has given you the ability to heal and build up—or wound and tear down. We won't be perfect. But we must take our influence seriously. Let your words be seasoned with grace. Let your habits point to Jesus. Let your home be a place where His love is felt—because of you. Because when we stand before God, how we used our influence in marriage will matter. And your spouse's eternity may just be a little brighter because of your faithfulness. Final Thoughts Friend, your influence is real. And it's powerful. You don't have to be perfect to make a lasting impact—you just need to be faithful with the moments in front of you. One seed of kindness. One soft-eyed response. One patient, Spirit-led pause. These small choices shape hearts, build trust, and reflect the love of Jesus. So take heart. God has entrusted you with influence, not by accident, but for a purpose. And as you lean into Him and love your spouse with intention, you are planting seeds that can grow into something beautiful—something eternal.   Love, The Delight Your Marriage Team PS - Are you ready to take the next step in influencing your marriage for the better? Our Clarity Advisors are ready to talk with you! Schedule a free Clarity Call at delightym.com/cc. PPS - Wish your church had a program like this? It can! We are launching our Church Training program this Fall and are still accepting churches to participate in the pilot program. Learn more at Delight Your Marriage Church Training. PPPS - Here is quote from a recent graduate: "There was a fair amount of discouragement, which carried over in my professional life and ministry involvements. I would not have considered leaving my wife, but hopelessness was making me accept the fact that we would continue to become more and more estranged until one or both of us died...[Now,] I KNOW that as intimacy grows between a husband and his wife, both are energized to do the work of the Kingdom, both shine brighter wherever they are. I have begun to feel it and see it happen!...Our communication is so much better: we have not had an argument since the beginning of the program. I am sharing more of myself now – my wife will not die without knowing her husband of all these years!"

Fall in Love With Your Spouse Again: Kay's Story Marriage is one of God's most beautiful gifts—and one of His most powerful tools for growth and sanctification. But even after decades of love and commitment, many couples find themselves asking the quiet question: What happened to us? Maybe you're feeling distant from your spouse. Maybe you're still under the same roof—but it feels like you're living parallel lives. Maybe you've stopped hoping things can change. That's where Kay was after 33 years of marriage. But her story is a powerful reminder: It is possible to fall in love again—and to restore love in a marriage that feels broken. When You Feel Stuck in Your Marriage Kay and her husband had built a wonderful life: children, a family business, retirement, and shared dreams. But beneath it all, their connection was quietly dissolving. Kay shared with us, "We weren't arguing every day, but there was tension. There was distance. He finally told me, 'If this is what the next 20 years are going to look like—I don't want it.'" Their marriage wasn't hostile—but it was cold. No more playfulness. No more laughter. And for Kay, no clear idea of what to do next. Christian Marriage Healing Starts in the Heart One night, Kay came across our podcast. She listened to a wife share her story—and saw her own reflection in the words. That night, she played the episode for her husband. Both of them ended up in tears. That was the moment God began softening her heart. But what came next wasn't a joint effort. It wasn't couples therapy. It was one wife, taking one faithful step forward. Kay didn't wait for her husband to change. She didn't try to force him into a process. She simply said yes to the work God wanted to do in her. And that's what began to heal everything. How to Save Your Marriage Alone—One Surrender at a Time There's a common lie in marriage restoration: If my spouse won't change, there's no hope. But Kay's story offers a different story: Sometimes the most powerful transformations happen when one spouse surrenders first. As she worked through the DYM program, she began seeing all the ways she had unintentionally pushed her husband away—through resentment, control, harshness, and silence. "I didn't realize how disrespectful I had become. How little admiration I showed. I had no idea how my own attitude was closing his heart off from me." Through prayer, scripture, and community, God began to soften her heart. And without pushing, demanding, or even explaining—it softened his too. "He started coming home earlier. Laughing again. Helping more. And I never once asked him to." When you let God begin with you, healing has a way of rippling outward. Biblical Marriage Advice for Wives Who Feel Disconnected When you've been married a long time, it's easy to assume the disconnection is just part of life. But biblical marriage advice doesn't teach resignation—it teaches hope, humility, and the power of the Holy Spirit to change hearts. If you're feeling distant from your spouse, here are some biblical truths and tools Kay leaned into: Let go of resentment. Carrying old pain closes the heart. Forgiveness opens it again. Replace criticism with admiration. Notice what your spouse is doing right. Thank them. Respect them—even when it feels hard. Spend time with God. Let His Word renew your mind and fill the empty places. Healing starts vertically before it ever flows horizontally. Surrender the outcome. You can't control your spouse—but you can invite God to transform you. "I realized this wasn't just Christian wife marriage help—it was God restoring my identity and softening my heart." How to Reconnect After Years of Marriage When you've shared decades together, the idea of starting over may feel impossible. But learning how to reconnect after years of marriage isn't about erasing the past. It's about allowing God to do something new with the years ahead. Kay didn't try to recreate her early romance. She let God build something deeper, wiser, and more joyful than before. After 33 years, their hearts are tender again. Their home is peaceful. And their future is bright. When You Don't Feel Loved in Your Marriage—There Is Still Hope For so many, the pain isn't anger—it's loneliness. The ache of not being seen. Not being pursued. Not feeling cherished. If that's where you are—when you don't feel loved in your marriage—you are not disqualified from healing. Kay didn't feel loved when she started this journey. But as she learned to love God more deeply, and love her husband with grace and strength, she began to feel loved again too. Not because she was striving. But because she was surrendered. Christian Wife Marriage Help That Changes Everything Kay thought she was doing this program to fix her marriage. But God used it to fix something deeper: her heart. She discovered that Christian marriage healing isn't just about relationship tools. It's about identity. Surrender. Courage. And the quiet willingness to say, God, start with me. Friend, if your marriage feels cold, quiet, or disconnected—you're not alone. If you're longing for intimacy, peace, and laughter again—it is not too late.God is able. He is faithful. And your best years together could still be ahead. With love, The Delight Your Marriage Team PS - If you're ready to take the next step in healing your marriage, we would love to chat with you. Schedule a free Clarity Call with one of you Clarity Call Advisors today. PPS - Like what you hear? Wish your church was teaching something like this? Well, it can! To learn more about the Church Training program we are developing, check out Delight Your Marriage Church Training PPPS - Here is a quote from (another) recent graduate: "Lack of sexual intimacy and communication. No variety in sex...I felt like my wife did not care about me. I had stopped initiating and I felt discouraged...Unhappy and unfulfilled would be the best words to describe my feelings but I tried to keep the feelings buried. [Now, my wife] gives me joy that pours into our marriage, my love for God, my family and others. God is love and I can better comprehend it when I am loved by my wife. Belah has transformed my life. I will never be the same. She has given me joy, hope, confidence and the realization that it is OK to be a man!"

Forgiveness is Key to Better Relationships: Interview With Brian & Heather Mayer Forgiveness can feel like the most unfair, unnatural thing in the world. When someone has wounded you—especially someone who was supposed to love you—choosing to forgive may feel like letting them off the hook. But Brian and Heather Mayer's story reminds us: forgiveness isn't about the other person's worthiness—it's about God's mercy. And it's the path to freedom, not just for them… but for you. Why Christian Marriages Struggle With Forgiveness Heather didn't realize how deeply unforgiveness had taken root. Even after their marriage began to turn a corner, her heart stayed guarded. She found herself stuck emotionally. The walls she had put up to protect herself were still up. And though they gave the illusion of strength, what they actually offered was isolation. She said, "I didn't feel like forgiving. I didn't want to say the words. But I knew the Bible said I had to. So I chose to obey—even without the feelings." This is what many Christian spouses experience. You know the right thing to do, but your emotions don't follow. And it's tempting to wait until you "feel ready." But true biblical forgiveness isn't based on emotion—it's a decision of the will rooted in trust that God can heal what you cannot.   How Unforgiveness Destroys Connection in Marriage Brian admitted he had been prideful and blind to Heather's needs. But what changed him wasn't just guilt—it was God's grace. He realized that he needed to ask for forgiveness, not just from Heather, but from their children, too. "I had to go back and apologize, not just for being short or irritable—but for the way my behavior affected my family." He humbled himself, opened his heart, and began walking out a different kind of love—one marked by patience, listening, and repentance. That humility created space for healing. Unforgiveness doesn't just affect the person who hurt you—it poisons your heart, your communication, your marriage bed, and even your parenting. Because where pride builds walls of resentment to isolate, humility builds bridges and invites healing.   What the Bible Says About Forgiveness in Marriage God never promised forgiveness would be easy—but He did say it's essential. Ephesians 4:32 says, "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." Jesus modeled radical forgiveness on the cross. And He calls His followers to extend that same grace in our closest relationships—even in marriage. Brian and Heather didn't wait until things "felt better." They took action. They forgave before the emotions lined up. And that obedience opened the door for healing.   Choosing to Forgive Even When You've Been Deeply Hurt Forgiveness does not mean: Forgetting what happened Pretending it didn't hurt Ignoring necessary boundaries But it does mean surrendering the right to punish. It means releasing bitterness so you can receive peace. It means trusting God with your pain instead of letting it define your future.   Healing Starts With Forgiveness Bitterness promises protection—but delivers bondage. Forgiveness opens the floodgates of grace—not just for your spouse, but for you. For your kids. For your home. For your legacy. You don't have to live angry. You don't have to stay stuck. There is freedom on the other side of obedience. There is peace that replaces pain. There is joy waiting where there used to be fear. And best of all? You don't walk this alone. The God who forgave you will empower you to forgive—again and again.   Final Encouragement: Forgiveness Is the Gateway to Freedom Brian and Heather's story is living proof that no marriage is too far gone. That even the most painful seasons can become a testimony of God's redemption. Maybe your spouse has wounded you deeply. Or maybe you're the one who's caused the pain. Either way, Jesus stands ready to walk you both into something new. Today, start with one brave act of obedience: "I choose to forgive." Even if your hands tremble. Even if your heart still aches. God will meet you there. And the freedom you long for is closer than you think.   Love,   The Delight Your Marriage Team   PS - Check out Brian & Heather's amazing Forgiveness Course at www.lovehowdeep.com/forgiveness [Use code DYM59 to receive the Course at the special price of $59, regularly priced at $297!] PPS - If you're ready to bring even more healing and freedom into your marriage, schedule a free Clarity Call and see if our Men or Women's Program is right for you. Prices are going up after July 18th, so make the call soon! PPPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate: "I struggled with unforgiveness and bitterness, lack of joy in motherhood, emotional lability, and frequent mental trips to the past…  [Now,] I am able to self-regulate my emotions better. I have gained the ability to understand my emotions and thoughts from a more objective standpoint instead of being a victim to my thoughts and emotions... I've grown in my understanding of forgiveness and how that flushes out to my everyday life… When I joined the program, I was hoping that my work would change my husband and my marriage. I didn't realize just how much work I had for my own heart!"

Exciting news!  We're extending a $500 savings on our coaching programs until this Friday. Due to the wonderful services and support our coaching clients receive and the fact that we have maintained our coaching programs for 4 years though our services, technology, and results have improved, we are having to increase our coaching prices.  But before we do, we'd like to give you a chance to get in at the lowest opportunity it'll ever! This is your chance to transform your marriage with our proven system before prices increase. Sign up for a clarity call at delightym.com/cc and be part of the next transformation story. Don't miss out on this opportunity to invest in your relationship and witness the miracles happening every day. Act now and take the first step towards a thriving marriage! Until THIS Friday 7/14/25 sign up at: delightym.com/cc (Or if you know someone who needs this, send it to them!)

A Fine Marriage, Now an Extraordinary Marriage: Bart's Story Bart is a Christian leader. He's the head of a childcare agency working with traumatized children and teens. He's been married for nearly 20 years and has four beautiful kids. And by his own admission? He was tired. Burned out. Irritable. Or, in his words—"crusty." He wasn't in crisis. His marriage wasn't "on the rocks." But it wasn't thriving either. And Bart knew something had to change. Christian Leaders Get Tired, Too—But That Doesn't Mean You Stay There One Saturday morning, Bart's wife tried to be playful with him—and he snapped. He didn't mean to. He was just worn out, juggling too many roles, feeling the pressure of leadership, family, and ministry. But his wife's gentle confrontation was a turning point. She didn't yell. She didn't threaten. She just called it what it was. And Bart—rather than shutting down—responded with humility and self-reflection. Not because he had to… But because he wanted to grow. Why "Good Enough" Marriage Isn't the Goal—Even for Ministry Leaders Bart described his marriage as "a 9 on a bad day." No major fights. No betrayals. No one was threatening to leave. But deep down, he knew something wasn't right. The joy was fading. The connection was inconsistent. And his presence at home was… thin. Too many leaders settle for "fine" because there isn't obvious brokenness. But lack of crisis doesn't mean abundance of health. How One Christian Husband Reconnected With His Wife (and Kids) Bart didn't just learn new tools—he let God change his posture. He took a long, hard look at his own heart. He asked his wife, with full honesty, "Have I made intimacy feel transactional to you?" She said no. But Bart still made changes. He apologized for things from 20 years ago. He went to his kids, one by one, and asked for forgiveness for being emotionally absent. And the impact? Laughter returned. Confidence rose. Connection was rebuilt—at home, where it matters most. When You Lead at Work But Struggle at Home Bart's job requires emotional intelligence, patience, and deep listening. He gives that to kids, to employees, to families in crisis. But when he got home? He was depleted. He admits, "I was giving my best to strangers—not to the people who mattered most." The CIRQUE listening framework helped him shift. Not just in knowledge—but in behavior. He started seeing his wife again. Not as someone who was "doing fine," but as someone he was called to serve and cherish. Intention Without Action Won't Heal a Struggling Marriage One of the most striking moments in Bart's story? The first time he walked around the car to open the door for his wife in years. She paused. Surprised. It had been that long. But it wasn't about the door. It was about intentionality. About pursuit. About loving her like the daughter of the King she is. Christian Leaders: Your Marriage Doesn't Have to Be Broken to Be Better Friend, maybe your marriage isn't "bad." Maybe no one knows how empty or tired you feel. Maybe your congregation thinks everything's fine. But you know. You know you're not showing up the way you want to. You know she deserves more. You know God is calling you deeper. Don't wait for a crisis to choose transformation. Don't wait for regret to become your motivation. Start now. Invest now. Lead your home like Jesus—by going first. With love, The Delight Your Marriage Team PS - Are you ready to take the leap? Schedule a free Clarity Call with one of our Clarity Advisors at delightym.com/cc PPS - Our prices are going up after July 15th! Schedule a free Clarity Call before then to save $500+ on your Coaching program. PPPS - Here is a quote from (another) recent graduate: Being in ministry together and having raised 5 children under the pressure-cooker stress of the mission field, much of our life and conversation related only to family, ministry or solving "issues"…[Now,] there have been so many [celebrations] it's hard to list the biggest! I celebrate the peace in my heart that has allowed me to be non-reactive and non-explosive in some very difficult and high-tension situations…I celebrate the new playful way that we are connecting in the bedroom…I celebrate that my wife is now telling my children that "Dad is different!"