An unsettling question from my son leads us to have an engaging conversation about developing the right attitude with money.
A lesson about being sensitive to other people's moods and knowing when it is inappropriate to play.
As my family and I were walking from the parking lot into the church, I reminded Ofu, “Hey, Papi, please remember to remove your hat when we enter the church.” Then he blotted, “But why?” Me: “Men and boys don’t wear hats in the church.” Ofu: “I want to know why.” Me: “It’s a mark of respect for God as we worship Him. It’s like how we remove our caps when we sing the national anthem.” Ofu: “Ooo! Why is it that boys have to be the ones giving up everything? Boys can’t wear hats in the church. Boys can’t hit girls, yet they hit boys all the time.” Me: “Oh no. We can’t hit girls. You’re right. We walk away. Let’s talk about this when we get out of church. Ok?” Ofu’s concern validates a question that I have been pondering. The question is: “Do denigrating men contribute to women’s empowerment?” Please click here to read the full story.
By enabling our children to freely share their stories and actively listen, we will see tangible pieces of evidence of their characters. To read the full story, please click here.
How do you share your faith with your children? This episode is an example of the different ways that I do so. John: “Why are they saying, ‘thank you, Jesus, repeatedly and you’ve been listening to it all morning? And I don’t mean it in a bad way.” Me: “I’m glad that you asked. That means you have been paying attention. Thank you. Let me first play the introduction for you and we can talk a little bit. It’s very short; less than a minute.” To read the full blog post, please click here To get your copy of my book Diary of Fatherhood (Series One), please click here
Ofu: “I gave a compliment to someone yesterday, and he got offended and then threw his glasses away. I was reported to my teacher, and she tried to email mom, but it didn’t go through.” Me: “I can imagine. That was a misunderstood compliment. He didn’t get it.” My son shared how he gave his classmate a rhetorical compliment, which was misunderstood. We had this conversation about using standard English all the time with people who may not understand our rhetoric. Please click here to read the full story.
How I broke the news of my father's death to my children. "You know that Papa has been getting old and sickly right?" They didn't acknowledge it. They were just astounded. So I continued: "He fell sick last weekend and didn't make it. He passed on, on Wednesday." I paused for a moment to let it sink in, then nodded and added, "yeah, we lost Papa." To read the full story, please click here.
"...I perceive her appreciation and sigh of relief to mean an expression of her refilled love tank through my spending quality time with her and performing this act of service. That’s what happens whenever I “go there with her.” “There” means her need of the moment..." To read the full story, please click here.
I recall that when I become a father, my aunt looked at me and said, “young dude,” as she fondly calls me, “no one can teach you how to be a father. It is something that you will learn as you go.” It was a pregnant statement that continues to be relevant as the events of my fatherhood unfold. To continue reading, please click here.
"...I believe that if we, parents, place character formation in our children as the top priority, then excellent performance will become a natural product. Our main job responsibility as parents is training, while our job duties can be categorized into the areas of the qualities above and done mainly by modeling..." For the full story, please click here.
“Did you see how you were flexible to work around your wet swim clothes and have them quickly ready for you to use again?” Ofu: “Wait. Was that flexible? I thought flexible means bending your body so that you can touch other parts of your body where you can’t reach normally.” To read the full story, please click here
Me: “You spoke to his strength. You reminded him that he was good at making bacon and could use his skills to help speed up the cooking. Did you notice how excited he was to come and throughout the time he cooked?” Click here to continue reading.
So, when your child tells you that they have a problem, what is your first natural response? If I’m correct, it is to swoop on the problem and help them fix it. Right? Well, recently, I was caught up in the same mindset. John is the president of a youth club, where he commands the respect of members and adult leaders. To continue reading please click here.
This one is about one of the many times that I blew a parenting opportunity. So, I hope you will extend some grace to me. Once again, it involves Ofu, my strong-willed child. He left his plate and cup on the dining table after lunch to go and play on his device. When I noticed them, I said, “Ofu, can you clean up after yourself and put away your plate and cup?” He just flared up and threw a fit. It was like from zero to a hundred in a split moment. Honestly, it was very stressful, and I felt very helpless about what to do. So, I said, “Ofu, I am so stressed by your behavior, and now I’m ready to visit a counselor to help me. That’s why I’m not hugging you as much.” To continue reading, please click here.
I picked up Agbenu from school after she stayed back for drama rehearsals. She was not looking so upbeat. We greeted each other after she got into the car. Then I said, “you look more tired than usual. Are you hungry?” Click here to continue reading
I am a member of the Kolbe Prison Ministries and had scheduled to visit our brothers in prison on Saturday, August 14, 2021. I committed to it in July. As our children prepared to resume school in Fall for the new school year, we also started receiving their calendar of activities. The first parent empowerment forum for John’s school was also scheduled for the same day as my prison visit. I was in a dilemma but thank God for His grace that gave me the answer. I went plain to John. Please click here to continue reading.
While driving from John’s scouting activity to the barbershop, he said: “Dad, I have a question.” Me: “Go on.” John: “I have asked mom this question before, but she’s not been able to answer it to make me understand. Why are we not allowed to sleep over in our friends’ houses?” Me: “There are several reasons. ...to continue reading, please click here.
It’s one of those dragging mornings again with Ofu, my self-declared “not-a-morning-person” son. And yes, Sweetheart and I have had several burnouts with him. Ofu prefers to share bathrooms with us instead of with his siblings. So, his towel and toiletries are in our bathroom. When he woke this morning, he went into our bathroom, stayed there for a while, then left and went to the game room and started playing on his device. I was already awake and even had been out of bed but came back to bed to rest a little. Sweetheart was in the kitchen; an eavesdrop away from our bedroom and bathroom. We didn’t hear him run the water to brush his teeth. Click here to continue reading.
“I didn’t grow up having that kind of relationship with my father.” “Every lady wants to be complimented.” The first of the above was a lady’s response to what I thought should have been an endearing moment between a father and his daughter. Immediately, I perceived a relationship gap! The second was another lady’s remark after receiving a compliment. To me, that highlighted the need for affirmation. Hopefully, I wasn’t being stereotypical, but as a reflective learner, statements like those stimulate my thoughts. Quickly, the primary person that comes to my mind is, Agbenu, my daughter. Because she is still in her formative years, and I am the number one man to train and affirm her. I believe that a father’s affirmation is more powerful and of a lasting effect than a husband’s or boyfriend’s affirmation. This is because fathers are their daughter’s, first love. How do I affirm my daughter? Here are some ways I do so... Click here to continue reading.
This is one of those times that, as a parent, I do more of the talking. Sweetheart and I were going to drop John off at his First Homecoming. Sweetheart had earlier "occupied the passenger seat" and said this final pep talk (if you like) will be mine to handle. So, I took the driver seat and began: "Remember all our conversations about relationships with girls. The number one thing they need from a guy is protection. Do not do anything that will disrespect her (his date)." Click here for full story.