Disrupting Divorce: Conversations for Women

In this episode, Rhonda sits down to talk with Divorce Recovery Specialist Wendy Sterling with The Divorce Rehab about how you can make your divorce process the most empowering experience that you can go through! Wendy had some amazing tips to share, and here are just a few:  Don't try to navigate the process alone Be aware of your thoughts & take out the judgement Division of Assets Get your pen and paper together for this one! Contact Information and Other Resources Our guests today was Wendy Sterling, a Divorce Recovery Specialist who runs & founded The Divorce Rehab. Establishing her career as a top-level advertising sales executive in the digital space, at the world’s most progressive social and lifestyle website brands (such as Who What Wear and Refinery29), Wendy Sterling had it all… successful career, two beautiful children, and a (seemingly) devoted husband. But after enduring a traumatic and unexpected divorce, Wendy’s entire world was rocked to its core. And it was in that dark moment when she decided to screw the “poor me” attitude, and allow her sass to emerge alongside her class. Leveraging decades of experience as a mentor, problem-solver and strategic thinker, Wendy followed her heart and rebooted her career. After endless training she transformed her mission into being a Divorce Recovery Specialist … with the goal of helping divorced women to put an end to their pity party and recreate post-divorce YOU 2.0. Wendy provides a tough-love approach to push her clients to rediscover their dormant mojo and inner bad ass selves.  Through her wildly successful The Divorce Rehab™ program, alongside the supportive community she’s built, Wendy not only helps countless women push through the pain of their divorce, but with her help, they become their most confident, positive, energetic and sassiest selves yet! Wendy currently lives in Sherman Oaks, CA with her two amazing boys, 13 and 10 and their dog, Max. Website | Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. ​In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment.   Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you! 🌟 Master Your Next Move in Divorce: Watch our FREE Masterclass and learn how to empower your divorce journey with confidence, clarity, and control. 🎥 FREE MASTERCLASS: Get Instant Access

In this episode, Rhonda sits down to talk with Family Law Attorney Russell Knight about what he thinks are the most important things to consider before filing for divorce.  He had some amazing tips and advice about filing for divorce, and some secrets to make things run smoothly. Here's a sneak peek with some of Russell's tips on what to consider when filing: Parenting time Child Support Alimony Division of Assets Get your pen and paper together for this one! Contact Information and Other Resources Our guests today was Russell Knight, a family law attorney with the Law Office of Russell D. Knight.  Russell Knight was born in Prince Albert, Saskatchewan, Canada. His family moved to the United States in 1991. Russell Knight attended Bradley University in Peoria, Illinois and graduated in 2000 with a Bachelor of Science in Business Computers Systems. After two years working as a computer programmer for a Fortune 50 company, Russell Knight decided that he’d rather work with people than machines and he enrolled in the University of Illinois College of Law in Urbana, Illinois. Upon graduating from the University of Illinois College of Law in 2006, Russell Knight began working for a small general practice law firm in Chicago, Illinois. The majority of the clientele at this law firm were Spanish speaking so Russell spent his free time during this period learning Spanish. After three years of doing every imaginable hearing and pleading, in 2009, Russell opened The Law Office of Russell D. Knight. Russell Knight has always focused on Family and Divorce law. Russell’s interest in family law is proven by the hundreds of articles that Russell, personally, writes about the subject on this website. Russell is licensed to practice law in Florida and Illinois. Russell maintains a practice in both states and has a full staff of attorneys and paralegals in both Chicago, Illinois and Naples, Florida. Russell Knight enjoys learning new languages, running, and cooking in his spare time. Website | Facebook | LinkedIn Email Russell: russell@rdklegal.com  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. ​In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment.   Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA® CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you! 🌟 Master Your Next Move in Divorce: Watch our FREE Masterclass and learn how to empower your divorce journey with confidence, clarity, and control. 🎥 FREE MASTERCLASS: Get Instant Access

In this episode, Beth sits down to talk with Rhonda about navigating business and entrepreneurship while contemplating or going through divorce.  She had a lot of great advice for our listeners, but a few items that she mentioned are: Just take that step! Build your team (and surround yourself with them) Rely on your intention Have a plan Prepare to BE INSPIRED! Contact Information and Other Resources Our guests today was Beth Crowell, owner and founder of The Hippie Banker. Here is a bit about Beth, in her own words: "I have been through a divorce -- and have been able to remain friends with my ex-husband. It was a very healthy divorce and am so grateful for that. After coming out of my own divorce, it has always broken my heart hearing my friends (and sometimes acquaintances) share with me their unhappiness in their own marriages, but feeling stuck and unable to make a change. In fact, when I first left my job to become a life coach, I had intended to focus on helping women through divorce, but divine guidance led me down another path! However, being involved with the WFWC allows me to bring it back in, to which I am very grateful. Business ownership is a way that women can gain control over their finances, and feel empowered to take control over their destinies. Being reliant on a spouse's income can be a very strong hook that exacerbates the fear associated with leaving a marriage. With my background as a commercial lender, consultant for the Small Business Development Center at UW-Eau Claire, instructor for the Women's Business Center at Western Dairyland, and my deep spiritual base, I can help guide women through not only the technical aspects of starting a business, but also through the fears and limiting beliefs that often hold us back from pursuing what we know deep down inside is right for us.   Website | Facebook | LinkedIn Email Rob: beth@thehippiebanker.com  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. ​In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment.   Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI  CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you! 🌟 Master Your Next Move in Divorce: Watch our FREE Masterclass and learn how to empower your divorce journey with confidence, clarity, and control. 🎥 FREE MASTERCLASS: Get Instant Access  

In this episode, Rob shares some great tips regarding mortgages and debt during divorce, and what to think about during the process.  Some highlights: Get a good idea of what will transpire with your joint debt Refinance or sell your home so that your name is off the debt (if your ex-spouse is keeping the home) Get a copy of your credit reports (freecreditreport.com is a good place to start) Be prepared to take notes! Contact Information and Other Resources Our guests today was Mortgage Lender Rob Miller with ProVisor.  As a Senior Mortgage Officer at ProVisor, Rob has been serving the Madison area for over 18 years. He has focused his attention on providing his customers with an easy, painless loan process. Rob strives to not only complete your loan but make sure you are educated and informed throughout the entire loan process. One of his firm beliefs is handling each customer independently of the next, providing knowledge, accountability and “World Class Service”. Since buying a home is one of the most important decisions of a customer’s life, Rob and his staff want to make sure it is as smooth and enjoyable as possible. Website | Facebook  Email Rob: rob@provisor.com  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. ​In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment.   Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI  CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you! 🌟 Master Your Next Move in Divorce: Watch our FREE Masterclass and learn how to empower your divorce journey with confidence, clarity, and control. 🎥 FREE MASTERCLASS: Get Instant Access

In this episode, James shares seven tips to getting through divorce, from finances to wellness. Some highlights: Make it about you Understand your rights Put your wellness first Find your support group Let go of the guilt Get organized Reach out Be prepared to take notes! Contact Information and Other Resources Our guests today was Family Attorney James Quigley of Beermann Law in Chicago, IL.  It was a competitive spirit and desire to make an impact in others lives that led James Quigley to pursue a career within law. After putting himself through college and law school, James worked tirelessly building his reputation within the industry and founding his own successful law practice before merging Quigley and Associates, PC with Beermann LLP in 2005. Now with over 27 years of experience, James set himself apart with his experience coupled with his focus on honesty and objectivity. He is extremely sensitive to each client's situation, especially the emotion and pain that typically accompanies a divorce. This objectivity has allowed James to successfully deliver on clients' requests and needs, leading him to become an extremely sought after attorney in the state of Illinois.  Website | Facebook  Email James: jmquigley@beermannlaw.com  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. ​In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment.   Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI  CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you! 🌟 Master Your Next Move in Divorce: Watch our FREE Masterclass and learn how to empower your divorce journey with confidence, clarity, and control. 🎥 FREE MASTERCLASS: Get Instant Access

In this episode, Michael shares some great ways to make co-parenting easy, including how you can accomplish this through the Fayr app. Fayr stands for: Family Advocacy is Your Responsibility.  Some highlights: It is IMPORTANT to stay organized throughout the divorce process; Fayr makes it easy to see who owes what with expenses, and helps balance things out;  You are able to "check in" with a date and time stamp at important locations - driven by GPS; You can use Fayr alone, or with your co-parent; Fayr will NEVER sell your user data - they understand the information that you share may be private Be prepared to take notes! Contact Information and Other Resources Our guests today was Michael Daniels, CEO of Fayr. Fayr was born out of two desires: to become a better co-parent, and to make the experience of co-parenting better. After his separation, Michael found it a constant challenge to be the best, most present father he could be. The time he wanted to spend focused on his children was instead taken up by tedious documentation, scheduling and preparing for court.   Why wasn't there an alternative to this time consuming, anxiety producing way co-parents were forced interact? Enter Fayr.  Our app encompasses the whole range of co-parents needs - financial, documentation, geo pinpointing, scheduling, communication - for the entire time you're co-parenting. What makes us different?  At Fayr, it's not just about efficiency and ease (though we love those).  We also help you create a better co-parenting experience by providing tools for: constructive communication, argument diffusion, and emotional support. FAYR.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter Email Michael: michael@fayr.com   ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. ​In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment.   Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI  CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you! 🌟 Master Your Next Move in Divorce: Watch our FREE Masterclass and learn how to empower your divorce journey with confidence, clarity, and control. 🎥 FREE MASTERCLASS: Get Instant Access

In this episode, Christopher and Nicholas gives us some insider tips regarding the importance of refinancing your auto loan, even if you think you got a good rate.  They had some great tips, and here are just a few of them: Be sure to do your research when shopping for a car; Through their website, you can have a soft pull of your credit to see how you can qualify for a lower rate; Try and pre-approve before you even walk into the dealership, so you know what rate you qualify for Be prepared to take notes! Contact Information and Other Resources Our guests today was Christopher Coleman & Nicholas Hinrichsen, Co-owners of WithClutch.com in Tempe AZ. We believe in financial fairness and equality. America is our community and we are here to bring all of us together again. Everyone deserves a chance.  WithClutch  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. ​In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment.   Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI  CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Divorce Conversations For Women (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you! 🌟 Master Your Next Move in Divorce: Watch our FREE Masterclass and learn how to empower your divorce journey with confidence, clarity, and control. 🎥 FREE MASTERCLASS: Get Instant Access

In this episode, Freddie gives us some tips regarding staying safe physically and mentally during quarantine.  Make sure you keep a good support system around you who you can communicate with during this time; Try not to disrupt your routine; Establish tools to protect your email, social media, and other apps you may use; Those aren't all of the tools that Freddie shared with me during this interview, give it a listen and be prepared to take notes! Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Freddie Harris, Owner-Chief Instructor at Badger Krav Maga in Madison, WI. Badger Krav Maga offers self-defense training and security consultation to civilian, corporate & law enforcement clients.Through education and training members will gain an increased awareness of common threats and how to defend against them. The training approach of Badger Krav Maga embodies three core concepts: mind, body and law. Members will gain a defensive mindset to refuse being a victim. They will understand and develop the body mechanics necessary for effective self-defense. And they will possess a basic comprehension of governing self-defense statutes that support them. Badger Krav Maga | Facebook  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. ​In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment.   Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI  CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Courageous Contemplation (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you! 🌟 Master Your Next Move in Divorce: Watch our FREE Masterclass and learn how to empower your divorce journey with confidence, clarity, and control. 🎥 FREE MASTERCLASS: Get Instant Access

In this episode, Jeanne gives us some tips to prepare your credit during & after divorce Pull your credit reports from all three credit bureaus via annualcreditreport.com  Look at each report & highlight things that were joint accounts and close them Find any mistakes or charges you do not recognize Have access to credit to build it back up (Jeanne gives us a few tools to do this) Open a secure credit card or secure loan  Find out your FICO Score at myficoscore.com    Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Jeanne Kelly Jeanne Kelly is a nationally recognized voice in credit consulting. In addition to serving her clients in their efforts to improve their credit scores, Jeanne has been sought out by real estate professionals, mortgage analysts and journalists for her thoughts and advice on how to best manage your credit portfolio in an ever-changing financial landscape. TKG Inc | Facebook Email Jeanne: Jeannekelly@kgroupconsulting.com  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. ​In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment.   Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI  CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Courageous Contemplation (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you! 🌟 Master Your Next Move in Divorce: Watch our FREE Masterclass and learn how to empower your divorce journey with confidence, clarity, and control. 🎥 FREE MASTERCLASS: Get Instant Access

In this episode, Andy walks us through his story of divorce, and offers us 3 things that he has learned: Pick & choose your battles Find a common enemy or a common ally Don't communicate over the phone - use email or text   Contact Information and Other Resources Our guest today was Andy Weins Experienced Sergeant First Class with a demonstrated history of working in the military industry. Skilled in Sales, Management, Training, Subcontracting, and Resiliency. Strong community and social services professional with a Bachelor of Science (B.S.) focused in Business and Management from Cardinal Stritch University.  Green Up Solutions | LinkedIn  ____________________ Our host of Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast is Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI Rhonda Noordyk's relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She was in search of a better way. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, find their voices and find the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations. Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. ​In addition to being the CEO of The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda is also a professional speaker. While her platform is women’s money wellness, it is not just about money. Her topics include: assertive communication, boundaries, leadership and overcoming financial myths. Her speaking experience includes: GE Healthcare, UWM Women’s Leadership Conference and Marquette Law School. In addition, she has appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment.   Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI  CEO | The Women's Financial Wellness Center rhonda@wfwcllc.com | (262) 522-1502 Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube Schedule a FREE 30-Minute Phone Call ____________________ Sponsored by: Courageous Contemplation (online course) ____________________ Visit the Women’s Financial Wellness Center for a full directory listing of experts. Be sure to reach out if you would like to connect personally with the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. You can visit our website or grab a complimentary 30-minute consult. Leaving a positive podcast review is hugely important: they help the podcast get discovered by new people. Please spend 5 minutes of your time to leave a review on your preferred listening platform, we’d love to hear from you! 🌟 Master Your Next Move in Divorce: Watch our FREE Masterclass and learn how to empower your divorce journey with confidence, clarity, and control. 🎥 FREE MASTERCLASS: Get Instant Access

In this episode, we discuss trusting your intuition. We will share some tips on how you can hear your intuition. Your intuition doesn't stop when we fail or screw up or "do it wrong" or life isn't going where we thought it should - No shame! No blame! Your intuition is lovingly leading you- even when you aren't loving yourself. It loves your kids and you and will show you the way - this is a journey of forgiving yourself. You learned this behavior - we all did. So be easier on yourself and you'll be able to hear that still, small voice easier. Tell yourself what you need to hear right now. 🌟 Master Your Next Move in Divorce: Watch our FREE Masterclass and learn how to empower your divorce journey with confidence, clarity, and control. 🎥 FREE MASTERCLASS: Get Instant Access   TRANSCRIPT Rhonda Noordyk: Welcome to this episode of the Divorce Conversations for Women. I'm your host, Rhonda Noordyk. You know there's one common thread facing women that are contemplating divorce, and it's that we don't know what we don't know, right? And so, I want to make sure to help you ask the tough questions so that you get the answers that you need. Rhonda Noordyk: In today's episode, we are going to dive into the topic of INTUITION, which is something that I think women really need to learn how to tap into and trust a little bit. So I'm so excited about our topic for today. This episode is sponsored by Courageous Contemplation. It is my online course for helping women navigate through the divorce process, so be sure to check out womensfinancialwellnesscenter.com/events. So, I am here today with Cyrina and I want to just thank you so much for joining us. Cyrina Talbott: Oh, thank you so much for having me. I'm really excited to share this. Rhonda Noordyk: So, I know that people can certainly reach out to you. We're going to include all of your contact information and all the good things about you. But I just want to get started in our conversation today about intuition. And let's just start by saying, if a woman came to you and said, "Gosh, you know I really feel like I need to make a decision or something just doesn't feel right or whatever." Like let's just talk about, if you could tell them one thing, right, what would that one thing be? Cyrina Talbott: I think the thing that's the hardest is to trust yourself. You know? And as I was thinking about this too... when you're going through divorce, that's really hard. That's a really big ask because maybe you're looking at this whole situation that you're finding yourself in and going, "okay. Well, I don't know how to trust myself. I made this decision and it didn't work out." Or a lot of times when anything is falling apart, whether it's a business or marriage or our health or whatever it is, we're kind of, life is showing us areas that do need to change. Cyrina Talbott: And even if your partner is hugely at fault, there may be some things you're seeing like, "Oh, okay, I did that." You know where you're responsible. And in light of that, still being able to trust yourself even if you're feeling bad or even if you're realizing there's things or patterns that are needing to change or whatever. Cyrina Talbott: But it's so important to trust your intuition and trust yourself because there are no rules. I mean, there are no rules about divorce, whether you should do this with your finances or that with your in-laws or that with your kids. Like there are no rules. Everybody's situation is so different and so unique that you're really the one that can decide. Cyrina Talbott: And so, you can take all the advice from everybody, but at the end of the day, it's you and to really, my encouragement is to trust that and be like, "Yeah, I'm, I'm not going to defer this to all the people I think are smarter than me. This is me, my family, my kids, my life." And just feel a little bit like, "Yeah, I can do this." Even if everything's falling apart, that's okay. Rhonda Noordyk: Well, and I think to your point, I think a lot of times in situations where women have spent years, sometimes decades squelching their intuition, I think it takes time for us to gain the confidence like, "Oh my gosh, I was right." Or, "Man, I should have listened to this gut feeling that I had several years ago, sometimes decades ago." Rhonda Noordyk: And so, I think there's this aspect of getting reacquainted with our intuition, right? And maybe testing it in small ways to help build our confidence so that then when we do feel like, "You know what, gosh, that's right." I mean, it's interesting because I think guys do such a better job at this. I mean, many of my male colleagues, if you were to ask them what's your key for business? It's like, "I trust my gut. If I get a bad sense from somebody, I'm not working with them." Rhonda Noordyk: So like for women, if you're interviewing attorneys and you're like, "I don't know. I didn't really get a good vibe but everybody says they're really great so I'm going to work with them." No, your gut told you in the very beginning there was something not right. Cyrina Talbott: Exactly. Like exactly how you just processed it. Is like, I don't know. Own that. That's your intuition talking to you. And yeah, I think guys do it better because they're encouraged to and we're supposed to be nice. I don't want to hurt their feelings. Well, hurt their feelings. When I talk to women, they're like, "I don't want to be..." Use a swear word but like a brat. I'm like actually, "Do that more. That's a really good thing to do." Cyrina Talbott: And like you said, guys are fine with it, but it's where we want to be nice and we don't want to hurt feelings. We don't want to make waves and it's real and it's practice. I help my clients practice because it's really like learning a different language. You have this part of you that, like you said, maybe you've been denying forever. Maybe you've been trying to be nice and make everybody else happy, and it's learning this part of you and how it communicates is exactly that. You just don't feel right and you don't have to explain it to anyone. And you don't have to be nice if you don't feel right. Cyrina Talbott: And you can do it in a polite way, you can just be like, "Well, I'm going to look and see what my other options are." It's simple, but trust that and do that. Rhonda Noordyk: For sure. Right. Well, and I think with all, when we look at the divorce process, a lot of the women, if you're listening today and you're like, "Oh my gosh, I'm still in that contemplation stage. I haven't officially made a decision or maybe a year in the midst of it, you're like, "Oh my gosh, I should have listened to my intuition in the beginning because now I'm in a spot where I'm overwhelmed or whatever." Rhonda Noordyk: I think just being aware that A, we need to tap into that and B not to feel bad if we haven't tapped into it in the past because each situation's going to be different. So it's like, well, we can't change the fact that you should have listened to your intuition 20 years ago, but what can we do about that now? Cyrina Talbott: Yeah. Rhonda Noordyk: You know. Cyrina Talbott: And that's the other thing I really want to share about your intuition is it isn't a jerk. It's like how you would respond to your best friend. So a lot of times we think our intuition is like, "Oh my gosh, I can't believe you did that. You're such an idiot." And our intuition isn't doing that. Or isn't going well, I told you so. You made your bed, now you have to lie in it. It's always kind. Cyrina Talbott: And how would you respond to your best friend? So let's pretend roles are reversed. It's your best friend coming to you. Maybe they've done something that's legit dumb. Are you going to be like, "Oh my gosh, I can't believe you did that again." Like just get away. You know you're going to encourage them. You're going to look for the positive side of it, the thing they did right. Or you're just going to be like, "Oh my gosh," and give him a hug. That's what our intuition does. Cyrina Talbott: And it's just something that we don't talk about, we don't practice and we don't do and we have to learn. So yes, absolutely you can practice. I love that you said practice with little things because sometimes we bring this like, "Should I move across the country or stay here intuition?" Cyrina Talbott: And it's like gambling or rolling the dice and we're like, "Oh, I think I heard a yes." And then it doesn't work out and we say, "Oh, I'm horrible at that. I'll never do it again." And it's like, "No, just listen." This voice is kind, and chill, and always with you, and leading you and you can just start tuning in and listening because it's there. Cyrina Talbott: And I really believe women are way better once they start to do this again or practice, I think women do have all those feelings. We're just quick to ignore. Rhonda Noordyk: Yeah. Or we second guess it like, I mean if we look at Mel Robbins in her 5 Second Rule, which I'm sure most people have heard of and if not, they'll have to check it out as it's awesome, right? But in that 5 seconds, we have five seconds to say, "Okay, am I going to trust this or not?" And then we either talk ourselves and we just do it or we talk ourselves out of it. Cyrina Talbott: So, like what I do with people is I work with their subconscious when I'm doing rapid transformational therapy with people and it's like all these answers are here. And when you're doing that quick decision like that, when you just get a hit, some people call it, or you get a nudge, or you're being led to do something, right. It's your intuition. And if you stay in that and just do it, that's going to be a good thing. Instead of getting up in your conscious mind and being logical and talking yourself out of it and how much is this going to cost and blah, blah, blah. Cyrina Talbott: You know, all those things that she's saying don't do that. Just stick with that part of you that knows an

In this episode, we discuss helping women transition through a divorce and ways to support them through this using the 3C approach of communication, communing, and community. 🌟 Master Your Next Move in Divorce: Watch our FREE Masterclass and learn how to empower your divorce journey with confidence, clarity, and control. 🎥 FREE MASTERCLASS: Get Instant Access   TRANSCRIPT: Rhonda Noordyk:            This is the Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast. I'm so glad that you're here. I'm your host, Rhonda Noordyk, Founder and CEO of the Women's Financial Wellness Center. I am passionate about educating and empowering women who are going through divorce. I want to help you go from chaos to clarity. The purpose of this podcast is to provide women with educational tips, tools and resources as it relates to the divorce process. Be sure to check out our website at www.womensfinancialwellnesscenter.com. Rhonda Noordyk:            Alright, well, thank you so much for joining us for another episode of Divorce Conversations for Women. And I am really excited to be able to have a conversation today with my friend Sheryl Brown. She is the CEO of Females and Finance. And we met several years ago when I was in the industry as an advisor and have just stayed in touch, right? And so, I want to thank you for joining us today. Sherly Brown:                  Absolutely. I'm excited to have this talk today. Rhonda Noordyk:            Me too. Me too. So, as I was thinking about where to kind of take this conversation today, I think what would be most helpful, and I know that's something that you, up until recent maybe have kind of kept close to the vest, but a little bit about your story, because I know that when you shared it with me a couple of years ago, I remember being on the phone pretty surprised at how challenging your situation was. Yeah, let's start with that. Share with us a little bit about your story. Sherly Brown:                  Yeah. So here I am, gosh, 30 years into working in financial services. And I remember always being a good wife. I was somebody who, of course, I made a very good living. I was entrusting my ex-husband to pay the bills and we had a lifestyle. And I remember, he had gotten really upset with me that I was traveling a lot, I needed to quit my job. And so I did. And it was a job I actually enjoyed quite a bit. But I quit my job to be home more. I also have grandchildren, and I just thought I needed to be more present. Sherly Brown:                  And so, when the last paycheck hit, it was May 30 of 2017, so I'm not employed anymore. That means I'm 100% dependent on him. And I remember, I was at a Michaels Arts and Crafts store with my two grandsons, they were fighting over a doughnut and they're twins. It's funny how you remember things, the details. I remember it was a sour cream crunch doughnut that I had bought at the grocery store and there was one left and they were twins. I remember reaching down and breaking it in half and saying, "Here, you each have a half, we're good." Sherly Brown:                  And the phone rang and my husband called to say, "I don't want to be married to you anymore." I remembered in that moment, Rhonda, I literally said, "You know, I'm with the children right now. I'm going to need to give you a call back, I need to get them home and I want to talk about ..." I'm trying to stay professional and together and not alarm my littles, because they're always looking at you. And any mother listening knows that all children, their feelings fester off of their moms. They will look at their moms and if mom stays calm, they stay calm. Sherly Brown:                  And it's amazing how even in a moment of angst, there's a lot of times where we're able to reach a level of calm in order to keep children, grandchildren, everything happy and safe for them. And inside, I'm like, what? And so I did, I took them home, I told my son, I have to see you later. I didn't even say anything to my son at home. And I waited. And it was hours and hours. He wasn't there. And it was hours. And I thought, you call me and you say this and you don't come home. Sherly Brown:                  Well, what had ended up happening was he, in hindsight, a couple days later, I don't know why it took me 48 hours to put the lightbulb on. I should check the bank accounts, like he's not here, what are we doing? Yeah, he had emptied every bank account. He had cash boarded every credit card. He had got on a plane and had left. So he wasn't leaving me, he left. I think that term is really interesting to Rhonda, I remember sharing this with you. I said, they make it always sound so kind. No, someone left me. No, it was so much harder than that. And when I went through realizing that I had no money, I had nothing, I had no job, I had no husband. And so, I went into a full panic and depression, a little bit of one I would say. And I think rightfully so, I think you're just sort of, oh my gosh, what happens now? Sherly Brown:                  And my son will tell you that I was sitting at the house once I realized all the money had been gone and what he had done because every account you go to you, you have like this conversation in your head, you say, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm wrong. Like you're still being that wife. You're still thinking no, no, no, no, no, this isn't happening to me. And then after I realized everything, I went down to the kitchen and I was sitting there. I immediately started acting like a crazy woman and I was unplugging the fridge, unplugging the TV, because I didn't know how I was going to pay the electric bill. I had no money, what was I going to do? Sherly Brown:                  And so, I kind of went into hiding for about a week because I think the other part of it and you working in financial services will appreciate this, how do you tell colleagues? How do you tell three years, three decades of colleagues that this happened to me because I became that proverbial woman that people talk about. And it was me. And so, I didn't tell anybody for a very long time because I was so embarrassed to say, this happened to me. What was I going to do? And I have to also say, my father is pretty wealthy, he does well for himself. I could have very easily gone to my dad and said, I need you to bail me out. But I realized had I done that, my children would have expected me to do it for them and I don't know if I would have ever been in a position to do that. And I also thought it was really important for my children to see me pick myself up and move on, what was going to happen from here. Sherly Brown:                  And you know what, you learn a lot of lessons from this, and people such as yourself, you were one of the people that I had found after it had happened and said, hey, that's me, I'm that girl now, I'm that lady. It was pretty awful. Rhonda Noordyk:            Yeah. Yeah. I think, unfortunately, with that, and I don't think that it's, it is what it is I guess. And that is, we as women I think feel that sense of, what could I have done differently. All of that, right? And you're like, what could you have done differently? He took it before you even knew he was going to be taking it. So there wasn't really, knowing what you know, there isn't a whole lot that you really could have done because he had access to the money. There's only so much that we can do when you have somebody who's going to do things that aren't right or take advantage of people or whatever. There's only so much that we can do, right? Sherly Brown:                  That's exactly right. And there's a lot of shame. I dove into Brene Brown books to understand shame better because I couldn't believe how the conversation I was having with myself, I would never have with a client. I would never have with a colleague such as yourself. But yet, for me, it was okay to sit there and say, you're so dumb. Why would you do this? All these things I said and I have to tell you, it was people such as yourself who are experts in the space who were like, you got to stop. You can't do this to yourself. Sherly Brown:                  And once I made the decision that I wasn't going to be a victim anymore, but I want to say this to anybody listening, it is 100% okay to grieve, to be angry, to eat a box of Oreos, whatever you got to do. Rhonda Noordyk:            Totally. Sherly Brown:                  But when your pity party is done, you need to have that friend, that confidant, that expert, that Rhonda that says, okay, now we're done with that, and now we pick up. Because if you don't, I feel like it would have robbed me of getting a lot of just the "ahh" out early on. I think it was really helpful to kind of go through that process. It definitely helps when I talk to people who've gone through divorce now. I understand. Rhonda Noordyk:            Yeah, absolutely. So how long did it take for the divorce to be final? Sherly Brown:                  Yeah, so you make concessions there too. So generally what happens is you can have a consensual divorce where you're both saying, yes, we want to get divorced and you go in, you get this and you get that and you sign the papers and you go to a judge. That can be as quick as 90 days. If you decide to get an attorney and they get an attorney and they go and wrestle it out, I'm sure I could take forever. Sherly Brown:                  So I made the decision, after speaking to my dad and speaking to a few other people that I was going to do a consensual, but meant for when he did contact me and I was able to sit down, I decided, okay, here's what we're going to do. I will take this amount of debt and you take that. We made a total arrangement of okay, this is, it was amicable. And he signed his part and I signed my part. And I have to tell you, ladies, sometimes they don't show up to divorce court. And in my instance, I got divorced by myself. And I have to tell you, I was so angry about that. Ou

In today's episode, we discuss: Identifying your strengths and how to position them How to handle time away from the traditional workforce The importance of shifting your mindset and how important it is when you are putting together your resumé    Rhonda: All right. Well thank you so much for joining us. Welcome to this episode of Divorce Conversations for Women. I'm your host, Rhonda Noordyk. You know there's one common thread facing everyone that's going through or contemplating divorce and that is you don't know what you don't know. So, I want to make sure that I help you ask the tough questions to get the answers that you need. Rhonda: In today's episode, we're going to be diving into the topic of... resumé writing, right? And what do you do if you need to go back into the workforce or you need to up-level your skills to be able to really live the life that you have been wanting to live during or post-divorce. So, this episode is sponsored by Courageous Contemplation. It's our online course. So, if you find yourself contemplating divorce, please check out womensfinancialwellnesscenter.com/events. So, I am here today with Dr. Heather Rothbauer-Wanish and she is, not only the owner of Feather Communications, but she's also a professional resumé writer and has been doing this since 2008. So, thank you so much for joining us today. Heather: Thanks, Rhonda. I'm glad to be here. Rhonda: So, tell us a little bit about... Before we dive into the tips that we have for our listeners today, if there are women that are listening, what are some of the things that you've seen as far as trends in resumé writing, basically, and let's let them know that they're not alone. Heather: Okay. Yeah. First of all, you are absolutely not alone. One of the trends that I've really noticed, whether I'm working with somebody that is getting divorced, maybe just stayed home raising kids, and is now entering the workforce, is probably 15 or 20 years ago. It's almost like we tried to hide that information, like, "Oh, I don't want them to know that I wasn't doing anything." Which by the way, we know you were doing a lot of different things, but now we address it. We just flat out address it in the resumé and say, "These five years, two years, whatever it was, here's what I was doing." And I think there's some value to that because people feel like they don't necessarily have to hide it and they can use those skills that they built during that time. Heather: Another trend that, you know, if somebody hasn't looked for a job for a really long time is understanding how the job search works today. It's important to know that resumés go through applicant tracking systems. You're not going to be physically handing your resumé to somebody anymore, so just understanding the different tips and tricks and ideas and being smart about how you're putting together your document to best identify your strengths and your skillset. Rhonda: I love that. And if you are listening, I hope that you find encouragement in that because things have shifted, and even in previous episodes that we've recorded, we've been talking about the importance of flexing. Like, hey, it's not that you have to be working in the nine-to-five jobs anymore in the corporate space. People are really starting to recognize, "Hey, what is it that I'm passionate about? What skills do I bring to the table? Gosh, could I turn that into a business?" Or, "Can I leverage some of those skills in the career space?" So, I love that. Rhonda: I remember... So, in teaching in higher education, I was teaching PowerPoint classes and Microsoft Office classes. And as part of that, I was encouraging my students to put together a resumé because I said, "You know what? The best time to put together a resumé is when you don't need one and you're not stressed- Heather: Exactly. Rhonda: ... and you're not feeling frustrated or bitter toward the employer that maybe had to part ways with you for various reasons." And so, I put as part of that process, I put together mine, and I thought, "Okay, I've got this really great chronological resumé." And the gal who was reviewing it at the college, their professional onsite resumé writer, said, "Yeah, Rhonda, I mean good information, but, man, this is an old-school format." Feeling like we need to put everything in chronological order and put as much as we can on there. And I want to say that I was clustered. But I think just also recognizing, what is it that really, we need to be putting on there and also realizing that we have control over what we put on there or don't put on there. Right? Heather: Exactly. And I always tell people, your resumé is meant to put enough out there that somebody is interested enough to call you for an interview to find out more. It's not your entire life story. It's not every single job that you've ever had since high school. Because people do it. It's not every single thing. It's what's relevant and thinking about what's relevant over a quantity of information is really, really important. And I think once people know that, once they realize that, "Oh, my gosh, you don't have to tell everybody every single thing. I can pick and choose what I want to share?" It changes how you look at the document, too. Rhonda: Yeah, absolutely. Well, so let's dive in a little bit. First of all, I would love for anybody that's listening to know, how do they identify really and document the skills and abilities that they have? How do they pick what cream should rise to the top, if you will? Heather: Well, the first thing I would tell you is that often when I'm working with clients and I say, "Oh, tell me your top three skills," or "Tell me your top few strengths." The typical response is, "Hmm, I don't know. Well, let me think about it." And they don't know. So, I think just getting into the mindset of thinking about, "Hey, what are my strengths?" And so, what I tell people is to look at some job postings. Figure out, "Hey, this job sounds kind of interesting." Don't even worry about the title of the job at this point. Just look at the job description and then look at the skillsets and the responsibilities that they're requiring of that candidate. And I bet you will find that those are some of your skills. Heather: So, it's really important to align your skills and your abilities and what you list on the document towards each job opportunity. A lot of times people will think that they have to reinvent the wheel every single time that they're sending the resumé out. And it's like, you don't have to start from scratch every time, but you might need to tweak some of those words. So just thinking about that, and then the one tip that I have found really, really works, works with myself, you can play a little mind trick on yourself, is instead of thinking about, "What are my skills? What are my strengths? What am I good at?" Shift it in your mind and think from the perspective of, "I wonder what my coworkers would say about me? What does my last job review say about me? What would my best friends say that are my top skills?" Heather: And all of a sudden you come to a place of, "Wow, that person would say I'm organized. I'm a good leader. I get along well with people. I have good communication skills," and all of these skills start tumbling out. So, sometimes it's just kind of thinking about it a little bit differently, too. But it's really, really important that you look at the skills that are required of the jobs and then match those skillsets to your resumé. Rhonda: Yeah, I love that. Well, and are there any assessments, third party assessments that you encourage people to take? Heather: Oh, my gosh, there are so many that are out there. One of the assessments that I'm sure a lot of your listeners have heard of is StrengthFinders. Rhonda: One of my favorites. Heather: Yeah. Mine too. Mine is actually sitting right over there. I think sometimes we think we know what our strengths are, but then when you see it worded from a third party, it's like, "Yeah, that is what I'm good at. That just totally describes me." So that would be one of them that I would recommend for a lot of people. There's also one of the places that I used to work at and we would give our interviewees a DiSC profile. So, D-i-S-C. Again, not that any of these tell you everything about yourself, but it's really nice to find some words that kind of describe your personality style. Heather: So that's another one. There's like three versions of it. They're not like super in-depth, but it gets you started on that path. Rhonda: Yeah. I think the self-awareness piece is huge, right? I mean, if you're somebody who is a D, a very direct person in the D for DiSC, and you're applying for a support role, well, depending on the dynamics and the culture, there might be a little bit of tension there because you're going to want to take charge and get stuff done, versus somebody who's maybe an S or a C, and more of, by nature, more of a support role, loves the analytical detail stuff, maybe a little bit more behind the scenes. Heather: Exactly. Exactly. Rhonda: I love the- Heather: It's funny that you said D because that is mine. And so, it's like sometimes I have to remember, "Okay, this is not the point to bring some of these things up." Or, "This is not a good time for the D part to come out". Yeah. Rhonda: Well, and I think, too, I encourage if you are listening, gosh, look up these assessments. The StrengthFinder is a Gallup poll assessment. It's so awesome. Of the 34 different themes, it's going to give you your top five so you can really start to internalize what you're good at and how you're wired. And then also, for the DiSC profile, I love that, too. And also knowing that, hey, we can flex that because there we'll have our dominant one and then one under stress. So, for me, I'm an "i", influencer, pretty outgoing, all that kind of stuff. Love getting people together. But then when I have to be, I'm

🌟 Master Your Next Move in Divorce: Watch our FREE Masterclass and learn how to empower your divorce journey with confidence, clarity, and control. 🎥 FREE MASTERCLASS: Get Instant Access TRANSCRIPT: Rhonda: Welcome to this episode of Divorce Conversations for Women. I'm your host, Rhonda Noordyk. There's one common thread facing everyone that's contemplating divorce or even in the midst of divorce, and that is, you don't know what you don't know, right? So I want to make sure to ask the tough questions so that you can get the answers that you need. In today's episode, we're going to dive into the topic of negotiation for women. This episode is sponsored by Courageous Contemplation, our online course. So, if you're contemplating divorce, I want you to check out womensfinancialwellnesscenter.com/events. I am so excited today. I am joined with Nicole Martin and John Tinghitella. To learn more about Nicole and John, we've linked their website and additional information in the show notes. You can also check out their website at www.nofearnegotiation.com. I want to get started here today. I am so excited that you guys are here because I feel like this is a topic that definitely deserves to have its own podcast episode. So, I'm a woman facing divorce, right? What's the one thing that we want the women that are listening to know about negotiating? Nicole: It's so interesting, Rhonda, because I think that if you think of it with that directness of the question, the one thing I would say to a woman that's really thinking about negotiation is first the fact that it's a two-way discussion or conversation or exchange, and that they are worthy no matter what they are feeling or how they're feeling as they approach that table, that they are worthy equal in that conversation. And the question is, do they feel equal, first of all? Are they prepared in that conversation when they come forth? And are they also ready to listen? Because like I said, it's a two-way exchange. That's probably the first thing I would say. I don't know, John, what would you say? John: I think that's a really good starting point. I think the power to listen is crucial to any successful negotiation. But to back up even another step, negotiation is just another word for managing relationships. Negotiation tends to have a negative connotation in a lot of people's minds, which creates resistance, which creates people not wanting to do it, which usually means they end up with a bad result because they kind of faded out when they should have leaned in. But that said, the ability to listen upfront is absolutely crucial. There's also a realistic connotation to negotiation that needs to be addressed and managed. It's the fact that negotiations, by their nature, are highly competitive, and we have to be careful in a negotiation to realize there's a clear winner and loser. This is not a ballgame with a time clock and a score at the end. This is people managing their lives going forward, and everyone has to leave, not so much with a victory, but everyone has to leave with what matters to them. And Rhonda, in your discipline of managing women through the extremely difficult dynamic of divorce, they tend to be highly competitive, highly adversarial, and a lot of times there are winners and losers, and that's just not healthy. It's a horrible outcome and our goal is to have positive outcomes. Rhonda: And so I agree, and I love the perspective of it being built on relationships. I've got a client right now who is ... her attorney is a guy, then there's her husband and his attorney is a guy. And she's at the table feeling like nobody's listening to her. And so, the preparation part, I think, is super important, number one. And so I've been working behind the scenes with her to help prepare her to have some of those conversations. I think, Nicole, you mentioned the worthiness. Man, that is probably one of the most challenging pieces as women are going through divorce, their confidence has been shattered. Can we talk about the worthy piece? Do you have any suggestions or tips as they're going into this? And I don't like the whole fake it ‘til you make it thing, but I think ... Are there some specific things that women could be doing to build up, like, I'm worthy to have this conversation, and what I have to say is important? Nicole: Well, and we actually kind of put forth three letters with what we do with our process within negotiation specifically, No Fear Negotiation. And the first letter is M, and M really stands for changing your mindset. And I think for women, especially going through relationships, I can recall a particular instance for myself personally where almost every relationship that I'd had where it had come to an end and I was leaving, my counterpart in that relationship had actually driven me to a place of guilt where you're feeling like you weren't working hard enough or you didn't do enough or you need ... this is your fault that you're letting go and you're the quitter or something to that effect. And I would say that the strength that you derive as a woman through that exchange knowing that you're not to be made to feel less than and that you have tried, and feeling justified in the fact that maybe you've tried and you've come to this decision, because surely for a woman, by the time she's had that conversation, she's thought about it probably for months, if not years prior. So, she's already separated herself from it, but she can be drawn back in or even worse, just emotionally brought down. Nicole:  And I would say for a woman that's coming into that exchange, it's really important from a worthiness perspective to honor your internal voice and what you know is right for you. And knowing and having faith that you're a child of God and that that other individual is special and a child of God as are you, and it's your responsibility to speak truth, and it's your responsibility to walk in your truth. And when you're walking in your truth and you speak from a place of love, not anger, not rage, but love, where probably ... and hopefully something started, you can still love somebody and not be in love with them. And if you can bring yourself back to that place of love for that other person, then you can hopefully look in the mirror and say, but more importantly, I love me and I know this is important for me, and for what reasons. And find a mantra that reinvests that voice in yourself so that you stay strong. Whether that'd be for you, if you can't do it for yourself, do it for children if you have children in your relationship. Do it for something outside of you that makes you strong. But you must get to the place where it comes from within. Nicole: And sometimes, if you've been deceived or betrayed or you feel wronged, it's really important to talk to somebody else. And I think therapy is a great thing. I think getting a resource, somebody to talk out loud to help you reinforce you until you can reinforce yourself is, I think, critically important. Rhonda: Huge. That's huge. That is really huge. And I think spot-on, right, to all of the things that you're saying, because I do think that most of the challenge when it comes to having these types of conversations and negotiating is a lot of that is our self-talk, right, and how we're showing up for the meetings. As I've been working with women, there was one girl in particular that comes to mind. I mean, she has just been full of guilt and feels super bad about her situation. And I mean pretty much couldn't talk about it without, I mean, doing the ugly cry. And we finally got her to a point where she could show up for the meetings, and still, there's some emotion, but it wasn't like that level of not being able to really clearly think through certain aspects of it. And she's a smart woman who has a lot to offer, but she needed to be able to show up in those meetings in that way. And I know that for her, that was a really big win. I felt like I could contribute. Rhonda: Now, the challenge with that is when the other person or people in the meetings aren't used to that particular individual having a voice. There now becomes a level of ... a little bit of a ... it seems to be a little bit of a power struggle in those situations because they're used to being able to just dominate the conversation, and now she wants to be part of the conversation. She's got some good points to bring up, and so it's a whole new level of listening and hearing that is required on the other side as well. Nicole: Right. We have to remember we can only control ourselves. And so, I see, more a woman who is at that table and she's maybe finding her voice and her inner strength. It's important to come, like I said, from a place of love because not everybody grows at the same pace. And so sometimes if you have a man across the table from you who you at some point in time loved and hopefully can still love, then you're coming to a place of maybe adding some extra words, some extra things that you prepare yourself to say to affirm that you respect the other individual. I think if you're coming at a place of disrespect, then yeah, you're going to trigger another individual. And so, one tip I can say just from working with human beings, in general, is to say the word “you”, actually, you should never say the word “you” in any negotiation or collaborative context, unless it's a compliment. You come to the place of I. And a woman can own her I voice all day long just as a man can. Nicole: And as long as the woman is actually coming from a place of I, I feel, I expect, I would like, I have left with this feeling, I own, I all day long, and avoid the word “you” unless you're giving a compliment. And find other ways to wrap the conversation so you're not triggering an event of diagnosing somebody when you're not a doctor in a negotiation situation. What do you have to say about that, John? John: And Rhonda, thinking rather than Nicole, what's

In today's episode, we discuss: Get out of the muck with a plan. I use a formula that I call 15-30-90-18. Confidence is not a trait; it's a skill. We get out of difficult situations by having the confidence that we can. Confidence is triggered by taking a step, then another, then another. Progress creates confidence. Just. Take. One. Step. Look for happiness in the simple things of everyday life while dealing with the challenges of divorce, single motherhood, dealing with the comparison trap. 🌟 Master Your Next Move in Divorce: Watch our FREE Masterclass and learn how to empower your divorce journey with confidence, clarity, and control. 🎥 FREE MASTERCLASS: Get Instant Access Confidence is a Skill, Not a Trait TRANSCRIPT: Rhonda: Welcome to this episode of Divorce Conversations for Women. I'm your host, Rhonda Noordyk. There is one common thread facing every woman that is going through or contemplating divorce. You don't know what you don't know, right. So I want to make sure that we are asking the tough questions to get you the answers that you need. In today's episode, we are going to dive into the topic of confidence. This episode is sponsored by the Women's Financial Wellness Center online course. Be sure to check out our website under the events tab. I'm joined today by my friend Aleta Norris. She is not only the co-founder of Living as a Leader, but she's also the founder of a new women's community called Women Who Spark to learn more about Aleta. We have linked her website and LinkedIn bio in the show notes, so be sure to check those out. So, Aleta, I want to thank you for joining us today. Aleta: Well thanks for having me, Rhonda. Rhonda: So I want to start by saying and essentially asking a question. So for the women that are listening that are facing a divorce, certainly confidence is a big part of the journey. So what is one thing that you would want them to know about confidence? Aleta: Well, so first of all, you're right, Rhonda. Confidence is a really significant element in a divorce experience. And I've scarcely met a woman, myself included, who has navigated divorce, who hasn't taken a hit to her confidence. And it's a good time to remind women that confidence is not something that you either have or don't have. It's not a trait. Confidence is, in fact, a skill and it's something that we can develop over time. We can build strength in our confidence just as we can build strength in our body by waking up every day and moving our body and exercising our body. Aleta: Confidence is very similar. If we wake up every day and we take some kind of step or some kind of action and then the next day we take another step and the next day we take another step. What we'll find is that progress that we're making will help us begin to either strengthen or regain some of the confidence that we're certainly predictably going to lose when we go through a life experience as traumatic as a divorce. Rhonda: Yeah, for sure. Absolutely. Well, and I think there are so many great opportunities for us in our lives where we can look back and say, "Oh my gosh, wow, how did I get to this point?" Right. Aleta: Right. Rhonda: It isn't something that happens overnight. And I remember a couple of years ago I ran across a formula that was talking about confidence and it said, "Knowledge + Experience = Confidence. Knowledge plus experience equals confidence." And to your point it's like, Hey, you know what? There is certainly the knowledge piece or the theory behind certain things and then there's actually putting it into practice. And the confidence is certainly no different, especially for women that either hasn't gone through a divorce before or this divorce that they're facing is different than any of the previous ones. It's certainly important. Rhonda: So one of the things that you and I have talked about is just your own journey in going through this process. And I just think of you as a very confident person and to your point, it's not something we wake up and say, "Hey, I'm confident." It's a learned skill. And so thinking back to your situation and your divorce experience, share with us a little bit about what role confidence played in that for you? Aleta: Well, so first of all, it's really interesting, Rhonda, what you said is that you've always viewed me as a confident person, and we've known each other in the business community for a very long time. And one of the things that I'm becoming more and more aware of is just how many confident-looking women we interact with on a regular basis who are in fact are struggling with their confidence. And we struggle with confidence in a variety of ways. One might be that simply, innately who we are as a person, we're more of a timid, tentative woman than others might be. Right. And then some of us, our confidence takes a hit when we experience something like divorce and I know a lot of women as well. And, and I think this probably pertains to all of us where we have confidence in some areas of our life, every single day. Rhonda: Mm-hmm Aleta: In other areas of our lives where we struggle with confidence because to your point, maybe we don't have as much knowledge in that particular area or as much experience. When I went through my two divorces, not just one. I've gone through two divorces, both of them very unfortunate and certainly not ever expected. What became really evident to me is that while I remained confident as a businesswoman, I really struggled with confidence as a woman, as a mother, as head of my household. And it's very easy to get caught up in kind of a rabbit hole of negativity or insecurity where we wake up every day and suddenly everybody all around us is a happy, intact family. Aleta: And it took me a long time to work my way to a place of confidence as a family, you know, as the leader of my family, where I was able to step away from some of the comparison trap and I was able to step away from every day waking up, feeling disappointed in myself. And afraid of the future. And certainly financial fear was a really big part of my lack of confidence. So that confidence in one part of my life and my business co-existed every day with my kind of flailing confidence on the personal side of my life. And fortunately, it didn't last forever, but wow. That divorce season that is really a tough one to get through. Rhonda: Mm-hmm. Well, I like what you mentioned because I think a lot of times we like to lump it together to say, well, I'm not confident in this area. So, therefore, I'm not confident. But that's not necessarily true. As you experienced man, you're over on the business side confident. Why? Because you know, you've got the experience, you're in your wheelhouse, you've got people that believe in. And then you're on this uncharted territory where you're feeling unsettled and whatever. Right? And so if you're listening to the podcast on confidence, I want to give you permission to say, first of all, it's normal to have things that are going to challenge your confidence along the way, number one. Number two, it doesn't mean that you're not a confident person. It just may mean that for the season you have some challenges. Rhonda: And also, let's draw on the strength of those areas where we say, "Hey, I'm confident in this area. Man, are there things that I'm doing in my business, personal, professional life, whatever it is that I can draw on to pull into these other areas." Because I mean, as you mentioned, confidence is a skill, right? So it doesn't mean that we have to leave those skills at the door. Just because now we walked through the door at home. Right? Aleta: Right. Oh yeah, absolutely. Rhonda: Yeah. So I think that's really powerful and the confidence piece being, a skilled trade I think is super important. I think the other component of that, which really ties nicely into the community and the tribe that you're building, which is women who spark. It's okay, well where can you surround yourself with people that are going to believe in you that are going to be positive, that are going to love on you in the midst of a really challenging time and making those choices to be around the people that can help you. Aleta: Right? Absolutely. And every day at least one or two women in the Women Who Spark Facebook community and if anybody's interested, Women Who Spark Tribe is a Facebook community where women can come and join together to be mutually supportive, encouraging, positive, inspiring, and on almost a daily basis someone in the community says, "I feel so much better since I've been a part of this community." Because every day when somebody is vulnerable enough to share in one of their comments, or even in a unique post. To share that they're struggling with something or they're afraid of something. Aleta: Boy, I'll tell you these other women in the tribe, they just come out like mama bears. And embrace this woman who's needing encouragement. And I would reinforce to anybody who's perhaps going through a season that has affected their level of confidence that you are not alone. Every single one of us, we're struggling with something. We have fear of something. It's different for each one of us, but we're not alone. And that's what's so wonderful about kind of forming together who your people are going to be. Who are you going to turn to, to be your support team when you're crossing your desert. When it's your turn right to do the desert crossing. And we need people who believe in us. Rhonda: Yeah, absolutely. Well, and I think the one thing that always makes me really sad is for the women that feel like they have to do life alone or they have to walk through a divorce alone. And it's just, they don't have to, you can dial in the level of support that you need. I mean, I have seen and believe that every woman should have a core team of people. It should be the family law attorney, the financial expert and a therapist. And then you'll have a lot of other

In this episode, we discuss: The importance of a Wealth Coordination Account Understanding long-term planning for your long-term future Resources and tips related to understanding your knowledge gap 🌟 Master Your Next Move in Divorce: Watch our FREE Masterclass and learn how to empower your divorce journey with confidence, clarity, and control. 🎥 FREE MASTERCLASS: Get Instant Access TRANSCRIPT: Rhonda: All right. Well, thank you so much for joining us for another episode. And I am so excited to be able to introduce to you my friend, Paul Adams. And he and I met via LinkedIn. All good things start there. And there was something about your profile that just captured my attention and I actually didn't even really know what you did when I said, "Hey, let's connect." And so, you are the Founder and CEO of an organization called Sound Financial Group. And you're also a fellow podcaster and entrepreneur. Paul: Indeed. Rhonda: And so, I just want to thank you for taking time to join us today. Paul: I got to tell you, I'm so happy to be here. Just our phone conversations we've had leading up to this, and you mentioned about creating a friendship. And I even was talking to my wife this morning and saying, "Yeah, I'm going to be on a friend's podcast this morning." And it was just like, "Oh, yeah, that's kind of nice." Versus somebody has a show somewhere that asked me to be on it. It just felt wonderful and warm and just getting a chance to reconnect this morning. Rhonda: Yeah, absolutely. Well, and I have certainly been in the financial industry and you are with an organization that happens to be in their headquarters in Milwaukee. Paul: Yeah, at the very beginning of my career. Rhonda: Right. Right, at the very beginning of your career. So, I just want to take some time and share, what are some of the trends that you're seeing? Obviously, our focus is women. Paul: And I think that if, for any of us, it's where is my knowledge gap? And when I say knowledge, I mean the capacity to act, not just understand it. If we were thinking of it like parachuting, understanding would be like, "I know the plane goes up to 13,000 feet, somebody jumps, they count to 10, they pull this thing here, and then they steer themselves with two cables they hold in their right and left hand, and it pulled them both down near the ground and they land." That's understanding. Paul: Knowledge is hurling yourself into the abyss and landing and not dying. That is the difference. And I think people tend to collapse the understanding and knowledge. And especially when we're divorced, prior to that, it may have been, at least we see this often, I don't know about you, but we'll see oftentimes that the wife will handle a ton of the bills, and then the husband tends to handle a lot of the long-term strategy and investments. And they both have an understanding of the other one. Paul: Now, it's a lot easier for the divorced husband to get a handle on the bills because it's a fast iteration cycle. They got to deal with the bills every 30 days. So, I don't know, after doing it for four or five months, you're back on plane and you know what you're doing. But when there is this... And it really is one of the longest feedback loops we deal with in our entire life. It's a 40-year feedback loop from 22 to 65. You have one time that you get feedback, and filling a glass of water, we're all used to it. We've all gotten our hands wet as kids when we overfill the glass, that we're listening and feeling the weight of the glass, and we turn off the spigot at the right time. Paul: If you perform really badly at work, somebody's going to let you know in a few weeks. You eat too much, over 7 to 10 days, you'll actually start gaining weight, and the feedback is in the scale. Bad behavior in all those areas equals bad short-term outcome. Paul: Here's the problem. With money, the feedback loop is like a negative feedback loop in that you can make bad decisions with money. And know how they feel in the short run? Awesome. It feels so good. You can get the brightness on your kids' eyes because you got them a cool new toy. Or all the Instagram likes because of the killer vacation you went on. All those things feel wonderful. The new car smell. Nice, so wonderful. And those are all things that, in the long run, the one-time feedback loop is you spend the rest of your life in some version of poverty below what you would have chosen. Paul: And so, one of the things we have to do is get those shorter iterations occurring through these coaching conversations around money so that everyone, and I think divorced women are particularly susceptible to having somebody that looks trustworthy, somebody who's super friendly, who's a friend of a friend, who may just be selling product. And one of the things we encourage people to think about is, is the advisor's revenue model only you acquiring product from them? Paul: And if that is their primary revenue model and they're not charging you a fee upfront so that they can support their business and themselves without needing to sell you a product, then that should give you at least a moment of pause, to stop and reflect and say, "Is there a chance that products could be recommended to me because of the advisor's revenue model, not because of what's right for me?" And not that the advisors are unethical or making bad decisions, any of that. It's just that, clearly, they can't work with 100 clients and not have any of them acquire product. Paul: But we and some other advisors out there, will do something similar to that, where we charge a fee upfront. It retains us for that first year, which is that timeline of a divorce. It never occurred to me how those line up that way. And then we coach them throughout the year, and we may meet them as many as 15 times over the first year, but that primary coaching to get spooled up and get all the things corrected in their financial life, et cetera, not counting ushering them through the divorce is about 6 to 10 meetings over about 10 to 14 weeks. Rhonda: Yeah. And I think that's spot on. Prudential did a longitudinal study. And what they found was that it was the knowledge plus experience that really helps the women build the confidence. Because if you have the knowledge without the experience, that's theory. If you have the experience without the knowledge, then you're just going through things hoping that you're not making too many mistakes. Paul: I was going that was a terrible idea, I shouldn't do that again. Rhonda: But it's those two things when they can work in tandem that really helps women build the confidence. And when I think that is one thing that, as we look at some of these studies, women have a great opportunity to step into power as it relates to their financial lives. It's just that they may not have had the experience because, statistically speaking, and you alluded to this, women are doing the day to day stuff, but they aren't necessarily as involved in the big picture things. And so, when they're thrust into that environment, it's uncomfortable and overwhelming and intimidating and all of those kinds of things all at once. Right? Paul: And I think there's probably a lot of domains that are that way. The trouble about the long-term planning for your long-term future is that's the one thing out of all the things that are coming at women going through divorce, it's the one thing that they really can, in the short run, put their head in the sand and avoid all the negative consequences. They are coming, but they're not here yet. And so, they can deal with all the things that are urgent and forget the things that are necessary. Rhonda: Yeah. Well, and I think too, it's history. Like you said, the feedback loop is so long, and even from the time that they got married until potentially the time that they're getting divorced, there's all of those habits and behaviors that they're now dealing with. Plus, let's face it, everything's always goes back to our childhood. There's always some connection between, "Hey, this is my attitude and belief about money as a kid. Here was how it was modeled. I brought that into the marriage. Now somebody always has to take the lead, and now I'm thrust into having to take the lead myself." You know? Paul: Yes. Yeah. And, you're right, it's so tough for them to make that gear shift. And we recommend people do something that's super subtle, easy, anybody can start it. Anyone of your listeners can do this right after the call. And we talk about the importance of somebody really understanding their own freedom and agency and choice. And we need to take that back immediately in people's lives around their money. Rhonda: Yep. Paul: Financial institutions ideally would like you to take your regular household checking and start choosing a financial product that you can automatically deposit via bank draft to. And we teach our clients to set up a separate checking account whose only purpose is to purchase assets. That's it. It shouldn't be buying anything else. It only buys assets. And we define an asset. An asset is anything that puts money in your pocket now or has the ability to put money in your pocket later. Paul: And it doesn't matter if it's just $25 a month. To shorten that feedback loop, we're simply saying we're going to put in $25 here and that is for my long-term wealth building. And then I'm going to put in $25 next month here. Now, for some people in some amounts of wealth, it might be 1000, it might be 2000, we have clients it's $30,000 a month they're doing. The key, and for the women that we've helped journey through getting their financial knowledge up to where they are financially during the divorce, is simply having a wealth coordination account means that when those payments start coming in, they realize, "Well, my bills are only 10,000 but I just got a $20,000 support payment during the trial period." Great. Let's just put that 10,000 aside. Paul: I

In this episode, we discuss: How to position yourself to prepare for dating after divorce How to set yourself up for success when you enter the dating arena Tips on first dates 🌟 Master Your Next Move in Divorce: Watch our FREE Masterclass and learn how to empower your divorce journey with confidence, clarity, and control. 🎥 FREE MASTERCLASS: Get Instant Access TRANSCRIPT: Rhonda: Thank you so much for joining us for another episode. I am delighted to be able to have a very special guest on with us today. It's interesting because we are going to be talking about dating. You might be thinking, "Okay, Rhonda, I'm super overwhelmed and just really having a challenging time." This is probably one of the last things that you feel like you want to talk about. But as I was thinking about who to bring on, I really think that this is an important conversation. The reason for that is because when I started my business, gosh, five years ago, the why on why I was doing my business is actually different or a little different than the reason that I'm doing it today. The reason that I started my business was because, hey, I just really felt emotionally compelled to wanting to help people that were in a challenging spot. There were a lot of things that had, had happened in my childhood that I can relate to. The feeling of abandonment, the feeling of frustration, the feeling of overwhelm. Rhonda: A lot of that came from my dad being an alcoholic and just seeing the dynamic that my parents had. Well, recently, I celebrated my 20th wedding anniversary and it's really prompted me to be thinking about my why. I believe that my why has shifted in a sense that I want women to really experience what I have. My husband, there isn't a day that he doesn't get up and say something complimentary like, "Hey, good morning beautiful, good morning whatever, right?" He's just a very kind, respectful, thoughtful person. It's prompted me after two decades to really reflect on where we're at, and I was not in that spot 20 years ago. I was a mess and the consistency that he has brought to my life has allowed me to be able to do what I'm doing. Really, Lori, the passion for this conversation comes from me wanting for other women what I have. Unfortunately, my husband doesn't have any brothers, so this is where you come in. Lori: It's wonderful out there. Rhonda: Thank you. Lori: Yes, I'm the brother that you don't ever have. Rhonda: That's right, you know. I want to introduce our listeners to Lori Mendelsohn and she is the owner and founder of SmartFunnySingle, and she has over 33 years in the fashion industry and 12 years as an award-winning entrepreneur. Thank you so much for joining us today. Lori: Rhonda, it is so my pleasure and I also want to thank you, first of all, for having me on and giving me this opportunity to talk and share about experiences that I have gone through from divorce. Again, I want to thank you for your help in helping me get through that divorce and introducing me to someone who could help me in that path, my attorney. I don't know if you recall the day that we met, I stood up and I had just experienced domestic abuse for the first time and I knew that that was the pivotal point that my marriage was over, and I was scared. You walked up to me and you told me that you could help me, and I will never forget that moment because my head was just spinning and reeling, and I was so afraid and so discombobulated. I don't use that word that often and destabilized and you helped me at that moment. That was when I really needed help, I didn't know what to do. I was terrified, so thank you. Rhonda: You are most welcome. Yeah, I do remember that, and I have goosebumps just having you share that because I remember exactly where we were. Lori: Yeah. Well, I'd like to share what happened if I could. It'll just take a second. Rhonda: Yeah. Lori: I was invited by a mutual friend to a networking event, and every woman stood up and had a minute spiel about her business, and I stood up and I started to talk about my business. I said, "I experienced domestic abuse for the first time today. My husband just put his fist through the kitchen sink and hit it and I'm afraid that that's going to be my head and I don't know what to do, and I don't know if I can even go home." I started crying and it was a very powerful moment and you were there and, again, thank you. Rhonda: I'm glad that you mentioned that because you are somebody, and I know that we haven't known each other for a really long time but we've known each other long enough that you get a really good sense of people. Here you are, an accomplished business owner, a woman who I think people really view as having her shit together. I don't even swear on my podcast. Rhonda: You are a confident person, you'd have some really great successes in your business, right? Lori: Yep, very successful. Rhonda: Right and here you are feeling like, "Oh my gosh, everything's now unraveling or I'm feeling frustrated, I'm feeling afraid." The domestic violence piece of it doesn't see different barriers. Doesn't see economic barriers, doesn't... I mean, it surpasses all of those things. From a perspective, from an outside perspective in and not from what I see through this, but I think a lot of people will say, "Well she's going to have access to resources, she's resourceful, she's going to..." But in that moment, you're not thinking clearly. You maybe don't have all the resources that you need as you're going through divorce. Like you're focused on your business, and you know what, I think it's just an encouragement, I think, for women to say, "Hey, listen, it is okay when we find ourselves in that vulnerable spot, the question is what do we do with it?" Lori: Right. Rhonda: There's a quote by Kristin Armstrong, which is just one of my absolute favorites, which is "when you find yourself in a vulnerable spot, the best thing that you can do is surround yourself with the strongest, finest, most positive people that you can find." That has been something that I have built my business on over the last five years, I implicitly believe that that's true. Because you don't want to be taken advantage of, and it's just really important that you find that team of people that can come alongside and support you in whatever fashion that looks like, and whatever support that you feel like you need. Lori: Agreed. Rhonda: I think that that's just a really powerful testimony for the women that are listening that our feeling like overwhelmed or feel shame or feel sad or whatever, it's okay to feel those emotions. The question becomes, "Yeah, what are we going to do with it?" Lori: Right. It's funny, after this whole thing happened and I went to my hairdresser, he used a very different quote which was Winston Churchill's which is "when you're in the middle of battle, you keep going." I'm one of those people who has pretty much been self-supportive, self-propelled that, "Well, I can figure all this out on my own. I really don't need any help." I found when I released that, that there are people who wanted to help me, it made things so much easier. That there is a weight and just sitting here talking to you about this, Rhonda, I just relaxed when I said that. I'm getting goosebumps now because when you release it, you allow others who want to help, help you and it gives them a gift as well and that's very powerful. Rhonda: I remember you also mentioned to me something about you just felt like you were in the midst of trying to swim through murky waters. You kept trying... Do you remember telling me that? Lori: Yes, but it was I felt like I was swimming through mud, and I felt like I was swimming through mud literally for about a year. After he moved out, after the divorce, after rebuilding, after figuring out, "Okay, I can't keep swimming in this pool, I need to see daylight again. I need to get myself out of this." Rhonda: Yeah. We've said this on other podcasts too, it's like women have told me, and I'm sure that you would attest this too, it's like nobody would even wish this on their worst enemy. It is by far one of the most challenging things that people have to go through, and especially, for women. Not just women, but we have our own unique set of challenges that come with us. I think it's exciting to see that you are on the other side of it and now you have within the last, what has it been, last year or so? Lori: Yes. Rhonda: Been doing your own business? Lori: Mm-hmm (affirmative). Rhonda: Tell us a little bit about that journey and how you got to this place now and then we'll dive into some tips on dating? Lori: Sure. Speaking about going through divorce myself, so a little bit of background. This was my third marriage, and this was the marriage that I really wanted to last my lifetime. To me, divorce wasn't ever going to be an option, but it started unraveling to the point that we were just two people living in the same household. I had a sense that something was up with him but, of course, he denied it. We went for therapy and our journey together was, "Well, let's try to work it out." But I realized afterwards that I was the one who wanted to work it out because he had other things going on in the background. But I, at the time of our marriage, I had transitioned from a 33-year fashion career where I was designing for a lot of very large companies in New York and LA. The company that I was working for, New Berlin, Wisconsin, closed the division that I was heading up and designing. Lori: It was at the height of the recession in 2008 and I started a dog walking business. There were no jobs to be had, and I figured, "Okay, well if I'm going to be miserable, I may as well be around animals." I started walking dog and over the course of nine and a half years, built the business to be the largest and highest awarded in the State of Wisconsin. I had 30 employees at one time, and we had about 4500 active clients. Rhond

In this episode, we discuss: Family law matters can be resolved amicably through mediation The process of divorce does not need to be economically devastating Mediation provides an opportunity to minimize your children’s exposure to the divorce process 🌟 Master Your Next Move in Divorce: Watch our FREE Masterclass and learn how to empower your divorce journey with confidence, clarity, and control. 🎥 FREE MASTERCLASS: Get Instant Access TRANSCRIPT: Rhonda: Thank you so much for joining us for another episode. I am so excited to be able to introduce you today to Alex Jacobson. She is the founder of Jacobson Mediation Group out of the Greater Chicago area and she's a former divorce lawyer turned divorce mediator. What a mouthful that is. Thank you so much for joining us today. Alex: Thank you. Thank you for having me. Rhonda: Well, let's talk a little bit about what prompted you to move in the direction of building your practice around mediation. Give us a little backstory on what led you to where you're at today. Alex: Certainly, so I was a divorce lawyer for the past 12 years. I practiced at one of the premier divorce firms in Chicago doing all matters related to divorce and matrimonial issues, so that included child custody, property division, child support, spousal support, premarital agreement, postnuptial agreements, all the above. And as my practice grew, it became increasingly apparent that even in the highest complex situation, matters can be resolved outside of the courtroom. And I just found that after practicing at that level, that once you are in the courtroom, you really can't unring that bell. Once people start slinging the mud, it's difficult to go back to co-parenting or to reach an agreement that is reasonable for both parties. And once the judgment is imposed upon you by a judge, it may or may not meet the needs of your family. It may or may not be narrowly tailored to the needs of your family. And so, I just simply found that alternative dispute resolution was just a better way to resolve these types of cases. Rhonda: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So, talk to us a little bit about, I mean obviously, there's a lot of different ways that mediation can be used throughout the divorce process. Are you, tell us a little bit about what you're seeing as far as trends? Are people moving in the direction of mediation only? Meaning you've got that neutral third party who is facilitating the conversation between the parties? Or are you, and or are you also seeing where people have attorneys and then they're utilizing mediators to be able to close the gap on our particular issue? Alex: So, I'm seeing both, in fact, depending on the issues that are being addressed. So in the first instance, I would, I would say that parenting issues often can be resolved with the parties without their attorneys being present because quite simply they are the key people that know what their children need and how to craft an agreement that meets the needs of their children, their extracurriculars, the extent that their child has a special need. They are the two people and the two people primarily who know what those needs are and who can speak to those issues and in the best way. When it comes to financial issues, they're oftentimes one or both parties who really are not equipped to handle the financial issues on her own and really look to their attorneys to provide them with the guidance that they need. And my role is to facilitate the discussion and help navigate that conversation. Alex: And, and whether attorneys are involved also depends on what phase in the case mediation comes in. So for example, cases may or may not begin sort of with a bang and there are some temporary issues that need to be resolved immediately. So, who's going to pick up Tommy from soccer practice? Who's going to pay for school tuition this month? Who's going pay the mortgage bill? These are immediate issues that the people need a band-aid for immediately while they're working on a more global resolution of all the issues in the case. So those immediate issues may be addressed with just the parties present without attorneys involved. And then once everyone has done their discovery and they're prepared to address all the issues in the divorce case, that is when the attorneys may come in and participate in the process. Rhonda: So I love one of the things that you said, I just want to touch on, because I see this in the women that I'm working with, which is, there are some of those immediate things that do need to be resolved or taken care of the day-to-day stuff. Like you said, who's going to pick up so-and-so from soccer practice and let's talk about who's going to pay the bills, you know, or which bills they're going to pay. So, if somebody is listening today and they're feeling frustrated because they perhaps feel like, you know, people aren't listening to them like, hey well we'll get to that later, we'll get to that later. Cause I mean the divorce process in and of itself, there are certain kind of key milestones and sometimes those things don't get talked about traditionally until later. What are some of the things that women could say, "Hey listen, this is an important concern or issue for me," so they can really get or bend the ear of their attorney and or mediator? Alex: Well, I mean and certainly in Chicago and I believe in many other courts, all parenting issues must be mediated before a judge will provide a hearing or a trial date. And judges also it's permissive for them to send financial matters. So, I would impress upon these women to, or anybody, to seek the opportunity, typically in mediation from the outset. So, they can address the immediate issues without going through the periods of frustration, without having them be resolved. And you know, the uncertainty is really unnerving for all people and quite frankly, that spills over to the children. And so, it's best for everybody involved if you can avoid that uncertainty and sort of assign these tasks as the process is going along. Rhonda: Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Well, let's transition into talking about a couple of key things related to mediation. And the first thing that I know that you wanted to share was around the fact that family matters can be resolved through mediation. So, talk to us a little bit about that. I know we've kind of highlighted that a little, but let's take a little bit deeper. From your experience, and now the good news is you kind of have been on both sides of the litigation side and now you've moved into more of the mediation side. You know, talk to us about how those are, how some of those things are getting resolved. Alex: Certainly. So, I mean, there are very few cases in the family law realm that are so clearly black and white and there are many shades of gray. And it's just a matter of appealing to what's important to the two people who are crafting the agreement. And even people, we're, we're taping this on a Monday. So even people who couldn't agree that today is Monday after working through the issues in their particular case, can ultimately reach an agreement that it's Monday. It's possible and it's possible to do it in an amicable way. It's possible to do it in a way that, through the process or sitting in the same room together or alternatively they're sitting in separate rooms together and the mediator is shuttling between them and, going through all of the terms that need to be addressed in a way that is productive with, avoiding the mudslinging and it's, and it truly is possible. Rhonda: Yeah. So, what role would you say, I mean, so the parties, right? I mean, if they're using mediation as their primary method, need to be organized and come to the table with, completing assignments or conversations or whatever that the mediator’s kind of helping them to kind of work through. Who is kind of identifying the agenda? I mean, so the, for the people that are considering going through mediation, what kinds of things should they doing to make sure that they're as prepared as possible for those mediation meetings? Alex: Certainly, that's a very good point. I mean, the mediation can only be as productive as the party preparation for the process. So, at the outset, I as a mediator find out what issues are being discussed, whether it's only parenting issues, whether it's financial and parenting issues. And in order to make the process most productive, the parties need to complete their financial affidavits. They need to know what their income situations are, what their, what their other spouse's income situations are, what assets exist, what are their expenses, what are their expenses now, and what are their expenses likely to be in the next few years. I mean, the goal is to anticipate as many possible contingencies as you can so you can address them in agreement, in the agreement to avoid litigation down the road. So, I set the agenda, I give the homework and timelines for the homework to be completed in order for the process to be the most productive possible. Rhonda: Yeah, I love that. And I think, just having some clarity right, on you whose role is helpful through this process because people don't know what they don't know. Right? They don't know what they don't know and if they've never been through that course before, and/or if they're considering mediation as an option then I think those are some of the things that are helpful for them to know. Alex: Certainly, and, and knowledge is power, and knowledge is being more informed certainly allows somebody to participate in a more meaningful way in the process. And that's critically important, especially for a spouse who, may not have been well versed in the finances of a family prior to the process beginning. And look, there is no shame in that. I mean, when you're living together and you're married, there's a division of labor in the home and the fact that one parent may not have been responsible for

In this episode, we discuss: The importance of having a core team How the Women’s Financial Wellness Center can help you in your divorce marathon Finishing the marathon a more confident, solid, financially savvy woman that is ready to enter her next chapter! 🌟 Master Your Next Move in Divorce: Watch our FREE Masterclass and learn how to empower your divorce journey with confidence, clarity, and control. 🎥 FREE MASTERCLASS: Get Instant Access TRANSCRIPT: Thank you so much for joining me. Today is actually going to be a solo episode, and I am so excited to just be able to spend a little bit of time and chat with you. You know, I love doing the interviews, but sometimes it's nice to be able to just share some of the thoughts and things that I am seeing or thinking about. So, thank you so much for joining me today. You know, as I was thinking about what I wanted to share, I think the main, overarching message is that you're not alone. And the vision that I've been having lately in certain conversations and just pictures in my mind has been a marathon. And whether you're a runner or not, you know, when we think about something that is time-consuming and takes training, and the actual journey itself is quite lengthy, and, you know, there's certain parameters along the way. There are mile markers. There are a lot of unknowns. We don't know if it's going to be raining. We don't know if it's going to be sunny. We don't know if it's going to be super-hot. We don't know if it's going to be windy. You know, if we have a map, we may be able to identify, "Hey, are there some hills? What's the terrain look like?" So, we can build in some of the things we know. We know where the mile markers are going to be, and we know what the general path is going to be. But along that path, if you will, along that 26.1-mile journey, there's a lot of things we don't know. And, you know, that's really the premise of the divorce process, right? Divorce is really a great training ground for us, as women, to step into our own. And I know sometimes in the midst of it, it's hard to see, like, "Hey, I'm going to actually come out of this stronger, or I'm going to feel relieved. I'm going to have more confidence on the other side." But it's true. It happens, every single time. The unfortunate thing is, we can't get to the end of the race until we've put in the 26.1 miles. You have to cross the finish line. And, you know, when I think about the divorce process, even along the way, there's going to be some flags, right? And we want to make sure we avoid the red ones. And, so, you can either go and run this race all by yourself and do it as a solo journey, or you can decide that you want to do it with other people. And, as it relates to the divorce process, what I mean by that is, I really believe that divorce is not a do-it-yourself project. It's not something that you should do on your own, a) because the average divorce is 52 weeks. That's an entire year. Don't isolate yourself. Find support. Surround yourself with people that are positive and encouraging. I had somebody send me a message the other day, and she said, "Rhonda, I feel kind of sad." She said, "I was thinking about you, and how you only get to see women when they're in their saddest moments, their darkest times, their most vulnerable spot." And I responded to her, and I said, "I really appreciate that because, you know, it certainly has forced me to build in very structured self-care, so that I can make sure that my cup is full, and that I'm operating with tons of energy, and I'm healthy and have great vitality, so that I can pour into the women that need me most." But the second thing I said to her was, "You know what? I also get to see women when they are crossing the finish line, and I have the privilege of seeing the transformation." And every time a woman, you know, crosses that finish line, and the divorce is over, she and I kind of take a brief snapshot back and say, "Gosh, you remember when we first met, and here you were in this spot, and you were super overwhelmed, and you were, you know, uncertain about how you were going to do all these things, look at all of the things that you've accomplished. Look at all of the changes that you've gone through, and you're still standing." And while you might be tired, and you need to take a break, right, and refuel and fill up those electrolytes and get some rest, right, that probably has been missing over the months of the divorce process, it's just really an honor to be able to see women on the other side. So, as you are going through this journey, the importance of having support, not only from friends and family, but also from professionals that are passionate about helping women, in my case, you know, I feel called to help women that are going through divorce. And the level of passion and commitment that I bring to the work that I do, is really, really important because, for me, it's not a job. This is my life's work, and I put my heart and soul into every single person that I talk to, every single podcast that we do, every single challenge that comes up that we're trying to figure out how to navigate through but, to that point, I'm one person, right? And I believe that there needs to be a team of people that come alongside and support you. And from a professional perspective, I think there needs to be a core team. And that core team really has three legs on the stool, if you will. The first one is an attorney, and there's a variety of different ways that you can engage legal counsel, whether it's mediation, whether it's having an attorney that's representing you, whether it's collaborative divorce, and the list goes on, but making sure that you have legal counsel, number one. Number two, making sure that you have a financial expert as part of your team. You know, the attorneys do actually run a lot of the numbers typically, but they're not analyzing the data. They're not helping you necessarily think through what that means for you in the short term, as well as the long term, and that's where my role comes in, right? Like, we sit down, we not only create a budget and a snapshot for today, but we say, "Okay, what's that going to look like a year from now?" Or, "Gosh, how are those decisions that you're being asked to make right now going to impact you, not just now, but also in the future, right?" And, so, it's just a really important conversation to be having, and there's several, very important, key financial conversations that happen on our journey, right? On our 52-week journey, there's a lot of questions. "Do I keep the house? Do I sell the house? What's my budget? How much do I really need to make sure that I can live comfortably? Do I have to get a job?" All of those questions are things that I can help answer, right? And if I can't answer them directly, I have a team of people that can help us. So my approach is very holistic, and I bring in the experts that we need. "Do I keep the house?" Well, let's have a mortgage expert run some of the numbers, right, so we can get the facts. Anybody who has listened to other podcasts or has worked with me directly knows I am all about, "Let's just get the facts." Because I believe that once women have the facts, we're going to make really good decisions, right? Women are smart. It's just that we need to be able to have the right team of people, the right education, the right knowledge, with guided experience, right, and have somebody walk alongside so that you can make really good decisions. And, ultimately, that helps build your confidence, which is super cool. So you've got the attorney. You've got the financial expert, and then you also have a therapist, so you've got the two main aspects of the divorce process covered, the financial and the emotional, and then you've also got that legal component as well. So that's your core team, right? And once you've identified the core team, and hopefully, right, I'm part of that core team, because I would love the ability to be able to help you, we can also identify who are those other people that are part of the support team? These are people that maybe aren't involved in the day-to-day things of the divorce process, but their input, their expertise, is very important. So that might be a mortgage broker or a real estate agent or a CPA, or a business valuation expert, and the list goes on, right? And, so, my job is to help you also assemble that support team based on what it is that you need. And, you know, if you're feeling like, "Gosh, this whole house thing is really keeping me up at night," then that's what we start with. We can try to start to identify the answers to some of those questions. That being said, sometimes we might not know the answer or have enough information to answer the questions until mile 10, okay? So, we just have to be willing to say, "Hey, there's a couple of key things that have to get in place first, and then we can maybe answer some of those other questions." For me, the budget is always at the top of the list as far as where we start, because once we can plug in some numbers and get a good, overall sense of what's going on, it will allow us to say, "Hey, can you stay? Yes or no?" We might start to get some ... That might start to be a little more clear now, right? But the budget's always a work in progress, right? It's not one-and-done. So we'll do a first version, and then sometimes we got to make updates and changes and tweaks, and we play around with the numbers, and we run different scenarios and, at the end of the day, again, women have a lot of really great information and the facts and a team of people that can help them make good decisions. So, you know, who's going to be on your core team? Who do you need to be on your support team, and who are going to be the people that refresh you along the way, right? Who are the people that are standing along with that cold glass of water, that cold cup of water

In this episode, we discuss: Five things you need to know before you start working from home. What does it take to be successful working from home? What are the biggest mistakes people make when starting to work from home? About our guest: Lesley Pyle is the founder of HireMyMom.com, a boutique service connecting Entrepreneurs and Small Businesses with top-notch Virtual Professionals across the country. She began her work-at-home career in 1996 with the launch of her first website: Home-Based Working Moms. She has a Master's degree in Public Relations from the University of Stirling, Scotland while on a full academic scholarship and as an Ambassador of Goodwill for Rotary International. She also has a BA in Journalism / Public Relations from Texas State University. Pyle has been featured in numerous publications including Forbes, Entrepreneur, Wall Street Journal and USA Today. She and her husband live in Texas and have four children.   Rhonda: Thank you so much for joining us! I am really excited to be able to introduce to Lesley Pyle, and she is the founder of Hire My Mom, which is a boutique service connecting entrepreneurs and small businesses. She began her work-at-home career in 1996 with the launch of her first website, Home-Based Working Mom. So, for all of us moms out there, we can relate to her business. Whether it's a full-time hustle, a side hustle, we're going to be sharing some tips on working from home. Lesley has a master's degree in public relations from the University of Stirling in Scotland and she also has some additional credentials as well. She has a bachelor's degree, bachelor's of arts actually in journalism and public relations from Texas State University. As I was looking through your credentials, isn't it fun that we have the opportunity to be able to use our journalism and public relations backgrounds to be able to share something we're super passionate about? Lesley: Yeah. You know, I was so thankful that I did have that background because it comes in handy no matter what business you have, to have a PR and marketing background. So, I credit that with helping me get my business off the ground because- Rhonda: Yeah, absolutely. Lesley: ... so many of us start on a shoestring budget, so being able to do some marketing and PR, in the beginning, was really helpful. Rhonda: Yeah, absolutely. Well, thank you so much for joining us today. Lesley: Yeah. Thank you. Pleasure to be here. Rhonda: So, share with us ... I know you've had several articles written, Huffington Post. What are some of the other places that you have written articles for or been - Lesley: I wrote ... Yeah, I wrote for Women Entrepreneur for quite a while and then I've written for some ... one-time posts on various parenting and work from home blogs. So, yeah. 24 years of doing this, so it's been ... A lot's changed over the years. Rhonda: Right? Well, when you and I chatted prior to doing the recording, that was one of the things that we were talking about is how things have shifted so much over the years. You know, I'd love for you to share, from your perspective, some of the things that you've seen as far as some of the shifts. Lesley: Yeah, most definitely. So, when I first started out 24 years ago, working from home was not so widely accepted. So, I basically .. When I started freelancing, I didn't tell my clients that I work from home because I knew it was going to be not as well received. Today, everybody thinks it's great and they're jealous if you work from home, but back then it was like, "Oh, you must not be very good at what you do if you work from home." So, that's been the biggest change. Lesley: With the advent of all the technology we have today with the Internet and with cell phones and email, none of that existed back ... Well, I think we had ... I did have a website, but I don't even know if I had email originally. But so much has changed and it just makes working from anywhere so possible now. With moms wanting that flexibility to work from home, not just moms that are searching for work, but moms who are business owners, a lot of them want to work from home, too, because that flexibility is just so helpful and beneficial for moms. So, I don't know about you, but I had ... When my babies were young, I had somebody come in and watch them while I work. That worked out beautifully. Then as they got older, they could go to a mother's day out or a preschool for a few hours a day and that sort of thing. Then, transition. Now, they're all in school. Rhonda: I know, right? It's like, "Oh, my gosh." Well, I think a lot of times, people start, they want the flexibility, and yet I think it takes the right person and right personality to be able to be disciplined and navigate through all of those pieces because ... I don't know that balance is really the right word because I don't know if you can ever have balance, but it's prioritizing those things and then also knowing like, "Hey, we might have to work a little bit longer this day so that we can do this on this day," you know? Lesley: Exactly. I find myself doing that. So, I may get up early one day and get a lot done because I want to do something that afternoon with my only one that's still at home or vice versa. I may work in the evening if I need to catch up on something if I've taken off a few hours during the day to go have fun or run errands or whatever it might be. So, yeah, it's such a huge benefit to be able to work that flexibility. Rhonda: Well, like you said, it is more widely accepted for people to stay at home. So, let's talk a little bit about some of the successes and lessons that you've learned from 24 years of working. Not only working from home yourself, but really helping other women work from home as well. So,- Lesley: Yeah. Rhonda: So, what are five things that women need to know before starting to work from home? Lesley: I think one of the biggest mistakes I see moms make is they jump right into something because they just want to work at home. So, the first thing that comes along, they're like, "I'm going to do it. I can make money." Well, that doesn't always work. It may work for some people, but I really think the best thing to do is to really spend time thinking about your true strengths, your passion, your experience, your education, and how those all fit together, and what could you do with that combination of skills and passions. I think you'll be so much more successful. Lesley: It may not be something that you can start and be up and running and making money the next day, but I think the old saying "Find what you love and the money will follow," is so true because I love what I do, so working is never like, "Oh, I've got to work today." Working is like, "Yay! I'm going to work today. What fun am I going to have?" because every day's a little bit different and I interact with different moms and business owners. So, that's my first recommendation is find something that you're passionate about. Lesley: Then, also consider the viability of your business. So, if you want to do something and there's no market for it or the market is saturated, maybe you need to go to plan B because if there's too much competition, it may be hard for you to make an income. But there's always room, you know. On the other hand, if what you do is really good and you can find your unique selling point, then you can always give it a go. Lesley: I also think it's really important to be a motivated self-starter because you don't have a boss looking over your shoulder and telling you to get in there and get to work. So, if that's not your personality, either you got to figure out how to make yourself become more motivated and self-start or maybe find something else where you are working for someone else. Lesley: Then, I think it's important to develop a plan, even if it's informal, where you write down your business idea, who your market is, how you think you can target them through whatever advertising, marketing, direct mail, whatever works for you, or direct email more these days. Lesley: Then, my final piece of advice is to commit yourself to at least six months. Don't give up too quickly because it does take time to get a business up and running, and sometimes it takes up to 12 months. So, if you're not making money the first month, don't give up. I know when I first started 24 years ago, I had such passion to make it work because I did not ... I took my baby girl to daycare for two weeks and I cried every day. This was me thinking ... I never thought I would be a stay-at-home mom. I used to think that was such a boring life, like, "Who wants to do that?" So, I had always envisioned myself as being this big, corporate career lady with my briefcase and my stilettos and I was going for it. Then, I had a baby and all of that just changed for me. Lesley: I was like, "I cannot bear to leave her in somebody else's care." So, when I quit after two weeks, my motivation was, "I better get some clients fast because we couldn't afford for me not to work." So, that was my motivation, and it pushed me out of my comfort zone because, normally, I'm not the type that would just cold call or call someone up and say, "Hey, do you need blah blah, blah?" but I did because I was really determined to make it work. So, if you're that determined, I think you've got your foot off to the right start. Rhonda: Yeah, absolutely. Well, I think, too, it's ... Part of the tip, too, is identifying needs, right? A lot of the businesses are started because there's a need of something. "We're going to help solve a problem for something," whatever that something is,- Lesley: Right. Rhonda: ... right? Lesley: Mm-hmm (affirmative). Most definitely. Rhonda: So, no, those are definitely some really great tips. So, let's talk a little bit about what it takes for women to be successful when they are working from home. Lesley: Okay. Yeah. I think some of the personality traits I've already m