Don't Let The Smile Fool You

Don’t Let the Smile Fool You EP35I thought I understood what it meant to be a role model.Then one unexpected conversation in an elevator made me realize that people may be watching something you never even realized mattered.In this episode, I talk about how my understanding of being a role model has changed over the years, from believing it was mainly about showing people what was possible, to realizing how much pressure I had quietly attached to that responsibility.When I became a CEO for the first time, I was one of two women CEOs in the group. Somewhere in my head, I decided that failure would not just belong to me. I worried about what it might mean for the women coming behind me.Nobody put that pressure on me. I did.Over time, I began to understand that people are not only watching what you achieve. They are also watching how you respond when things do not go according to plan. And sometimes, they are noticing things about you that you had no idea mattered.I also talk about why I no longer believe being a role model begins when you reach the top. At every stage of your career, someone may be looking at you and thinking, maybe I can do that too.“I Thought I Knew What Being a Role Model Meant” is a conversation about representation, pressure, failure, and the unexpected ways we influence people without realizing it.If you enjoy the episode, subscribe to Don’t Let the Smile Fool You, like the video, and share it with someone who might enjoy it too.Chapters:00:00 The elevator conversation that changed how I think about role models
01:11 What does it really mean to be a role model?
03:05 The pressure I put on myself as one of two women CEOs
04:57 What people learn from how you handle failure
07:15 The things people notice that you never expected
08:48 You don’t have to be at the top to be a role model
09:27 How my definition of being a role model changed
11:28 You may already be influencing someoneConnect with Uche Ofodile:LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ucheofodile
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@uche_ofodile
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Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ucheofodileofficial/

Leadership is not just about KPIs, strict deadlines, or being visibly weighed down by pressure. In this episode of Don't Let the Smile Fool You, we challenge old assumptions about what leadership should look like, especially when it comes to joy and energy in the workplace.It is true—I smile a lot. And yes, people notice. Some think it means I am not serious enough or that things are just easy for me. There is an old belief that showing stress is a badge of honor in leadership. This is something I have experienced firsthand, having worked in teams and organizations where the energy was constantly being assessed. Sometimes there is too much energy or too little—often, it feels impossible to strike the right balance, even when results are strong.But why has seriousness become the default sign of credibility? Why do people assume joy and competence cannot go together? In this conversation, joy is redefined—not as a distraction from hard work but as a powerful leadership strategy. A team that celebrates together, that feels energized by occasional moments of happiness, is more resilient and creative when faced with challenges. I share stories of leading teams through tough times, how moments of dancing on rooftops built stronger, more open cultures, and how belonging and energy translate directly into performance and results.One concept discussed is how belief, not just compliance, is what sets high-performing teams apart. Joy is not a break from work, it is the secret ingredient that keeps people invested, motivated, and willing to give their best, even in organizations facing tough turnarounds or at risk of complacency when things are good.A key theme that emerged is that joy is not the opposite of rigor. In fact, organizations that celebrate wins and create space for connection see more drive, more accountability, and stronger outcomes.The discussion explores how leaders who bring energy and joy to their teams are not being soft. They are making a brave choice to fight for belief in environments that would rather reward seriousness. That takes real courage.So the next time you wonder if leaders should celebrate more, ask what their teams are producing, not just how serious they look. Hard work builds companies, but joy keeps them alive.Chapters:00:00 Why do leaders have to look serious all the time01:26 The pressure to look stressed in leadership roles02:20 Breaking the link between joy and competence03:03 Flat energy cultures versus joyful workplaces04:11 Joy as a leadership strategy05:46 How celebration changes team performance06:28 Expecting more than just hard work from organizations07:20 The danger when teams stop believing08:42 Joy as a strategic tool in turnarounds and high-performing organizations10:11 Smiling as a conscious leadership decision10:46 Energy is a leader's responsibility12:17 Joy unleashes extraordinary performance12:47 Joy is not softness—it is courageous leadership13:26 Closing and the impact of joy on organizationsIf you found value in this conversation, let it inspire you to bring a little more energy and joy to your own leadership approach. And remember: Hard work builds companies. Joy keeps them alive.Connect with Uche Ofodile:Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ucheofodileTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@uche_ofodileInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/ucheofodile/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ucheofodileofficial/

What are the decisions you should be making at 40? Most people will tell you to focus on career moves, chase promotions, and celebrate momentum. Few will admit that behind the doors of big organizations, your trajectory is being mapped in ways you may never see coming. In this episode of Don't Let the Smile Fool You, Uche sits down with Elsie Akinsola, an HR executive who has held top roles across global giants, to talk about what really shapes your next chapter after forty.We get real about midlife ambition, transitions, corporate cultures, and that moment you realize your next choice isn’t just about work—it’s about how you want to live. Elsie Akinsola takes us through life in the boardroom, the hidden conversations about “runway” and succession that leaders rarely hear, and the quiet power of sponsorship (not just performance) in getting to the top.This episode is full of hard lessons and candid stories—from walking away from a dream job over principle, to realizing too late you haven’t built what you need for your next transition. Uche and Elsie Akinsola talk about ambition, planning for your fifties, the reality behind financial flexibility, and why you need to stop letting your career “happen to you.”You’ll walk away knowing:Why women especially can’t just rely on performance for career growthHow organizations secretly decide your potential and succession potentialThe courage it takes to say no—even when the world says yesWhat gets lost (and gained) in reinvention after a big corporate jobPractical advice for building your “toolkit” before a career changeThis is a conversation for anyone asking, “so what’s next?” after hitting a milestone—but it’s also a warning to start building, planning, and defining the life you want before someone else does it for you.Chapters:00:00 Introductions, backgrounds, and the "planful" myth at 40.05:35 Navigating career vs. life choices in your 40s.10:29 Succession planning, talent categorization, and the power of sponsorship.15:09 Visibility, exposure, and earning genuine sponsorship.20:42 Claiming your work and avoiding the wallflower trap.26:19 Walking away from a dream role for family and identity.29:28 The DFI story: negotiations, principles, and knowing your worth.36:00 Navigating career transitions, lost status, and bridging toolkit gaps.49:52 Building a personal toolkit for surviving and thriving independently.55:56 Advice for 40-somethings: intentional planning for career, health, and finances.1:15:38 Ambition, seasonal priorities, and finding freedom and meaning in your 50s.1:19:51 What we would do differently at 40: planning and financial freedom.If you’re a woman with the title, income, and momentum but no real plan for what you want from your next decade, listen to this all the way through. Build intentionally. Be courageous. And don’t let anyone else decide what your next chapter looks like.Elsie Akinsanya offers executive coaching and transition coaching for mid-career to senior women. Find out more at www.elsieakinsanya.com. Her So What's Next programme is specifically designed for women navigating the questions this episode raises.#careertransition #womeninleadership #successionplanning #sponsorship #midlifeambition #executivecoaching #FinancialFreedom #lifeafter40 #corporatecareers #ENAHRAfricaConnect with Uche Ofodile:Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ucheofodileTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@uche_ofodileInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/ucheofodile/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ucheofodileofficial/

I still remember that phone call like it was yesterday. I had been CMO for a few years and, like most ambitious people, I knew what I wanted next — to become a CEO. So when a headhunter asked to meet, I was excited. After a great conversation, they called back and said they had a CEO role. All my teeth were showing. Then they revealed the job was in the DRC, and just like that, disappointment hit. For years I had built up this idea in my mind of exactly how my story should play out, never realizing there were unspoken terms and conditions attached to my ambition.This episode is not about becoming a CEO. It is about the hidden assumptions we carry, often without even knowing it, and how reality has a way of testing them. Whether it is thinking you want something "no matter what," or being adamant about not wanting international experience, or working toward a dream job with every career box ticked only to see someone else get it, we all have stories in our head about what matters and what does not. But when reality bites, it often exposes things in us we did not even realize were there.The conversation focused on three different career stories:The shock and humor of learning your ambition comes with unspoken termsWatching a colleague's certainty about staying local give way to a career-changing international opportunitySeeing a carefully planned career hit a wall despite all logic and preparationA key theme that emerged was that certainty about what we want, or what will make us happy or successful, is often an illusion. Reality tests us. And sometimes, the things we have been pushing aside or the plans we have carefully constructed are not as solid as we believed.This episode is your reminder to watch out for those unseen terms and conditions in your life and career. When reality shows up with an unexpected twist, sometimes the best thing to do is roll with it and see where it takes you.00:00 The CEO call and a reality check03:24 Uncovering hidden assumptions04:04 The DRC experience and a colleague’s story06:29 How an unexpected move changed a career08:06 The deliberate planner who didn’t get the outcome10:20 The real lesson about control, certainty, and surprises12:36 Wrapping up and embracing the journey

What happens when your personal pain becomes invisible but starts leaking into every room you enter, even the boardroom? In this episode of Don't Let the Smile Fool You, we sit down with Ama Karikari to talk about the complexities many women face when dealing with emotional abuse like the silent treatment, especially when they're high-achieving professionals juggling work, ambition, and toxic relationships.Ama opens up about her fifteen-year journey, beginning with her honeymoon, when she first experienced the silent treatment from her husband—a pattern that would haunt her marriage and spill over into her professional and personal life. As a lawyer, consultant, and later a candidate for public office, she tried to compartmentalize her pain, showing up each day with a smile that concealed intense private struggles. We talk about how that energy drains your confidence, your ambition, and even your health.Through candid stories and sharp insights, Ama explains how the absence of true support at home doesn't just cause a loss, but might also erase achievements that could have been. She reflects on moments like running for office while feeling unsupported, and the toll of living with someone who weaponizes silence. We touch on the ripple effects—how children absorb this pain, how work suffers, and what it takes to finally say enough.Ama reveals the turning point: the moment it became clear that what she was enduring wasn’t a communication problem, but a pattern of covert abuse. She shares how naming the problem, moving from marriage counseling advice to the language of trauma and domestic violence, was key to her escape and healing. Now, after divorce, she's helping other women recognize these patterns in their own lives with her new workbook, Silenced to Soaring, and a supportive community.This conversation isn’t just about surviving abuse—it’s about reclaiming yourself, rebuilding your ambitions, and learning how to trust your instincts again. If you’re a woman grappling with the effects of a toxic relationship, whether in West Africa or anywhere in the world, this episode will give you the language, validation, and practical steps to start regaining your power and your smile.Chapters:00:00 Introduction and Normalizing Silent Treatment05:35 Ama Karikari’s Honeymoon Story: When Abuse Begins06:57 Sharing with Family and Not Recognizing Abuse11:57 How Abuse at Home Impacts Confidence and Work17:04 Running for Office While Silenced at Home20:29 The Difference Real Support Makes—and What’s Lost Without It27:06 How Women Adapt and Compartmentalize Hurt30:27 The Limits of Compartmentalizing Pain at Work32:54 Finding the Breaking Point and Leaving39:19 The Cost of Staying: Health, Sanity, and Family Legacy44:45 What About Women Who Cannot Leave?47:22 From Surviving to Healing: The Power of Support and Self-Love52:47 Unlearning Old Behaviors After Abuse54:47 Why Silenced to Soaring is a Workbook56:34 Speaking Up: Finding the Courage to Share58:40 Where to Find the Book and Support Groups1:01:42 Reflecting on What Could Have Been—with the Right SupportIf this resonates with you or someone you know, reach out—Ama’s book and her soaring sister circles just might be the resource you’ve been searching for.Find her on Skool, Support, Accountability, and Mastermind Group: https://www.skool.com/silenced-to-soaringmoms/aboutSocials:Linkedin: @https://www.linkedin.com/in/amakarikariyawson/Instagram: @amakkarikariYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@amakkarikariTik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@amakkarikariConnect with Uche Ofodile:Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ucheofodileTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@uche_ofodileInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/ucheofodile/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ucheofodileofficial/