Don't Mom Alone Podcast

Do you feel like your teens have hidden struggles that you can’t talk to anyone about? How do you honor your kids while still finding safe people to process parenting with? How do you advise your kids on their friendships and relationships?  Today, Amy Betters-Midtvedt is here to help us navigate the deep waters of parenting teens. Amy is a teacher with a master’s degree in leadership and is currently a literacy coach. She has five kids in all stages of life from college to kids still at home, some of her kids have had teen struggles that Amy has had to learn how to navigate. She shares her ideas in her new book, You’ll Make It.  We cover how to handle changes in our teen’s friend groups, what to do if your teen’s friends are a bad influence, and having the humility as a parent to say “I messed up”. Amy shares some very personal stories about her teens and anxiety (with their permission) and how their family faced that challenge head-on to overcome and get back to the things they love to do. Parenting teens can be hard but there is so much joy in watching them become who God created them to be, Amy will teach us how to partner with the Lord as we navigate these formative years.  Connect with Amy Betters-Midtvedt:  Website:  Amy Betters-Midtvedt (amybettersmidtvedt.com) Instagram:  Amy Betters-Midtvedt (@amy.betters.midtvedt) Links Mentioned:   You'll Make It (and They Will Too): by Amy Betters-Midtvedt Chore Wheel- Spinning Wheel for Prizes with Stand Related Episodes: Freeing Your Adolescents to Step Into Adulthood – Ages and Stages – Teens :: Dr. Ken Wilgus [Ep 382] Helping Socially Anxious Boys :: David Thomas [Ep 451] Choosing Connection Over Critique :: Rachel Macy Stafford [Ep 280] Featured Sponsors:  Thrive Market - Want to shop at a grocery store that actually cares for your health? Go to ThriveMarket.com/DMA for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift!  Greenlight - Sign up for Greenlight today at Greenlight.com/dma to try Greenlight today.  Honeylove -Honeylove is not just supporting women, it's empowering women. Treat yourself to the best bras on the market and save 20% Off at honeylove.com/DMA. Use our exclusive link to get 20% off to find your perfect fit. After you purchase they ask you where you heard about them.  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors. 

As a mom do you feel there is not enough time in the day? Are you constantly overwhelmed with your to-do list and mental load? Are you snapping at your kids because they cannot keep up with the pace?  Today Kendra Adachi; the Lazy Genius, author, podcaster, and most of all mom, is here to help us focus on the most important tasks. Kendra and I are opposites, she has read all the time management books whereas I have read zero. Only 7% of books in this arena are written by women so her newest book, The PLAN, was much needed in this space. Most productivity books are written with the future in mind and while it’s good to think and plan for the future Kendra tells us that most moms are trying to run their household well every day in the small task. She helps us PLAN- prepare, live, adjust, and notice what is going on around us in our homes.  This episode reminds us that being kind to our kids is more important than being on task, we are not robots, and helps us look at time differently which allows us to show up with compassion for others. There is so much Biblical truth when we structure our time well and keep the most important things at the center of our days.  Connect with Kendra Adachi:  Website:  The Lazy Genius (thelazygeniuscollective.com) Facebook: The Lazy Genius Collective Instagram:  Kendra Adachi (@thelazygenius) Links Mentioned:   “Make it Happen” Notepad Heather mentioned Do Less: by Kate Northrup The PLAN: by Kendra J. Adachi Related Episodes: The Lazy Genius Kitchen :: Kendra Adachi [Ep 365] Choose What Matters to YOU :: Kendra Adachi [Ep 293] Organize Your Mental Load  :: Laurel Denise [Ep 444] Featured Sponsors:  Vegamour: Take on the most advanced approach to hair wellness with Vegamour’s new GRO+ advanced system. Learn more that Vegamour.com/DMA use the code DMA to save 20% off your first order.  Thrive Causemetics: Spice up your fall look with Thrive Causemetics. Luxury beauty that gives back. Right now, you can get an exclusive 20% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/DMA.  Betterhelp: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors. 

Do you feel like a team with your spouse in parenting or do you often turn on each other? Do you have different ideas about what is right for your kids? Have the teen years brought more conflict than unity?  Today Dr. Kim Kimberling, professional counselor and founder of Awesome Marriage, is here to share his years of wisdom on how to keep the marriage strong while parenting. Dr. Kim has been married to his wife for 53 years and the tips that flow from those years of experience are priceless.  He shares how to build in some one-on-one time, stay on the same page in the teen years, and how praying together allows the Holy Spirit to breathe creativity into your parenting. Dr. Kim also comforts those whose spouse may not currently be walking with the Lord and how to navigate that hard season. He reminds us that you can’t put your marriage on the back burner for years and expect it to be the same when your kids are gone and gives us tools to make sure we are making our partner a priority. Be sure to check out his website that is full of resources.  Connect with Dr. Kim Kimberling:  Website:  Awesome Marriage — Marriage, Relationships, and Premarital Counseling Facebook: Awesome Marriage Instagram:  Marriage and Relationship Experts (@awesome_marriage) Links Mentioned:   Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find--and Keep--Love [BOOK on attachment] Podcast — Awesome Marriage 7 Secrets to an Awesome Marriage: by Dr. Kim Kimberling PhD Related Episodes: Building Strong Marriages :: Kimberly Beam Holmes [Ep 374] Nurturing Your Marriage :: Brent and Janis Sharpe [Ep 299] Habits of a Healthy Marriage :: Paul David Tripp [Ep 234] Featured Sponsors:  IXL Learning: Make an impact on your child’s learning, get IXL now. And Don’t Mom Alone listeners can get an exclusive 20% off IXL membership when they sign up today at IXL.com/DMA. Visit IXL.com/DMA to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price.  Wildgrain: Are you ready to bring all your favorite carbs right to your doorstep? Be sure to check out Wildgrain so you can begin building your own box of artisanal breads, pastas, and pastries. For a limited time, Wildgrain is offering our listeners $30 off the first box - PLUS free Croissants in every box - when you go to Wildgrain.com/DMA to start your subscription or you can use promo code DMA at checkout. Rhone: Upgrade your closet with Rhone and use DMA to save 20% at https://www.rhone.com/DMA Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors. 

Does the word holiness feel stuffy and old-fashioned? Do you feel you have a personal and intimate relationship with the Lord? Does your Christian life look more like a performance than a practice?  Today Jeannie Cunnion joins me to discuss her new book Closer to God. She is a best-selling author, bible teacher, and speaker who shares how the Holy Spirit can transform our family and motherhood. Her new book covers how to practically have an intimate relationship with the Lord in the middle of chaos and noise.  As mom’s we often long for a deep meaningful relationship with Jesus but don’t know how to get there when kids are up early and there seems to be no space. Jeannie talks about cultivating a habit of conversing with the Lord in the mundane moments of our days and how Holy intimacy produces a Holy identity.  If you feel far from God today we are reminded of Isaiah 30:15, “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength”, we cannot perform our way to God. He is waiting in the quiet intimacy.  Connect with Jeannie Cunnion:  Website:  Jeannie Cunnion Instagram:  Jeannie Cunnion (@jeanniecunnion) Links Mentioned:   Closer to God: by Jeannie Cunnion (pre-order now) The Practice of the Presence of God: by Brother Lawrence Don't Miss Out: by Jeannie Cunnion Never Alone: by Jeannie Cunnion Related Episodes: Parenting in the Power of the Holy Spirit :: Jeannie Cunnion [Ep 347] Set Free From Shame :: Jeannie Cunnion [Ep 190] Anchoring Our Kids’ Lovability in Christ :: Jeannie Cunnion {Ep 91} How to {really} Parent with Grace :: Jeannie Cunnion {Ep 55} Healthy Habit Building :: Kat Lee [Ep 300] The Mom Game Changer :: Kat Lee {Encore Episode} Featured Sponsors:  Greenlight: This episode is sponsored by Greenlight. Sign up for Greenlight today Greenlight.com/dma. Hiya Health: We've worked out a special deal with Hiya for their best selling children's vitamin. Receive 50% off your first order. To claim this deal you must go to hiyahealth.com/DMA. This deal is not available on their regular website and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Thrive Market: Save time and money and shop Thrive Market today. Go to Thrivemarket.com/DMA for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift.  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors. 

How do you know when it is the right time to leave a season? Do you know how to sit in silence with people? Would you consider yourself a good listener?  Today Emily P. Freeman joins us to discuss her new book, How to Walk Into a Room. She is a New York Times bestselling author of six books with a masters degree in Spiritual Formation and Leadership from Friends University. She has a true passion for teaching us how to listen well and hold grief and silence with those who need it most. Emily states that silence can teach us a lot about ourselves- it can uncover fears we need to deal with or be aware of. We have another cliffhanger today so stick around to find out where the rest of the episode is airing.  Connect with Emily Freeman:  Website:  Emily P. Freeman (emilypfreeman.com) Facebook: Emily P. Freeman | Facebook Instagram:  Emily P. Freeman | Spiritual Director (@emilypfreeman) Links Mentioned:   Feastables MrBeast Original Chocolate Bars How to Walk into a Room: by Emily P. Freeman The Next Right Thing: by Emily P. Freeman Related Episodes: How to Quit Hustle and Embrace Small-Moment Living :: Emily Freeman {Ep 83} House Rules and Learning to Love your Home :: Myquillyn Smith [Ep 462] Walking Through Seasons of Unbelonging :: Shauna Niequist [Ep 362] Featured Sponsors:  Honeylove: Honeylove is not just supporting women, it's empowering women. Treat yourself to the best bras on the market and save 20% Off at honeylove.com/DMA. After you purchase they ask you where you heard about them. PLEASE support our show and tell them we sent you. Elevate your comfort, elevate your style, with bras that empower your lifestyle of flexibility. Betterhelp: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Rediscover your curiosity, with BetterHelp.  Visit BetterHelp.com/DMA today to get 10% off your first month. HelloFresh:For FREE breakfast for life go to HelloFresh.com/DMA. One free breakfast item per box while subscription is active.  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors. 

What would it look like to have Jesus-centered peaceful parenting? Is your parenting style just a list of do’s and don’t or getting to the heart of your child? After correction do you feel more or less connected with your kids? Today, Dr. David and Amanda Erickson, join me to discuss their new book The Flourishing Family. They founded Flourishing Homes and Families to equip and empower Christian parents to lead their families with grace and gentleness through parenting principles that are rooted in the teaching of Jesus.  We cover so many topics from hitting toddlers to snarky teenagers and how to approach them with grace while still teaching them to respect the people around them. They encourage us to repair and prepare instead of scare through creative ideas that include purchasing a punching bag and redirecting behavior when needed. David reminds us that as parents we are helping our children see that they are image bearers of God and to embrace who He created them to be.  Connect with David and Amanda:  Website:  Flourishing Homes and  Families Facebook: Flourishing Homes and Families Instagram:  Dr. David and Amanda Erickson (@flourishinghomesandfamilies) Links Mentioned:   The Flourishing Family: by Dr. David and Amanda Erickson Connected Families | Parent with confidence; lead with grace Related Episodes: Gentle Christ-Centered Parenting :: David and Amanda Erickson [Ep 363] Parenting Sensitive and Intense Kids :: Lynne Jackson and Lydia Rex [Ep 395] Connecting Through Play :: Charissa Fry [Ep 319] Featured Sponsors:  Thrive Causemetics: Refresh your everyday look with Thrive Causemetics. Beauty that gives back. Get an exclusive 20% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/DMA.  Greenlight: Sign up for Greenlight today and get your first month free when you go to Greenlight.com/dma.  Lands End: Seize the summer in Land’s End. Head to landsend.com and use code DONTMOMALONE to get 30% off your summer purchase.  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors. 

Today Cynthia and I are talking about all things college drop off and how Cynthia missed saying goodbye to her daughter and I share how dropping Quade off in Tennessee went. We talk about back-to-school haircuts and terrible yearbook photos and rehash how we both ended up at the same event but had very different experiences. We end the episode with a cliffhanger story about Bucees and a HUGE exciting surprise you don’t want to miss.  Connect with Cynthia Yanoff:  Website:   https://cynthiayanof.com/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cynthia.yanof Instagram:  @cynthiayanof  Links Mentioned:   The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast One Thousand Gifts 10th Anniversary Edition: by Ann Voskamp IF:Gathering (ifgathering.com) New Morning Mercies: by Paul David Tripp  Life360 | Location Sharing App OUR NEW SHOW LINK! {click to hear the rest of the episode} Related Episodes: The Good God Wants for Our Families :: Paul David Tripp [Ep 285] Signpost Parenting :: Ann Voskamp [Ep 394] Sidetracked by Throat Gurgles, Unlikely Friendships and Trash Can Valentines :: special guest Rachel Green  [Ep 454] Featured Sponsors:  Vegamour: Take on the most Advanced approach to hair wellness with Vegamour’s new GRO+ Advanced System. Learn more at Vegamour.com/DMA use the code DMA to save 20% on your first order.  BetterHelp: This episode was sponsored by BetterHelp. Rediscover your curiosity, with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/DMA today to get 10% off your first month. Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors. 

Do you worry about whether your child is on track with verbal milestones? Does the stress of what is typical in eating, talking, and verbal cues feel confusing? Do you know speech pathologists can help with food intake or nutrient deficiency?  Today I am embracing my past life as a speech-language pathologist as I chat with Stephanie Cohen. Stephanie is a mother, speech-language pathologist, author, speaker, and lactation counselor in private practice who has worked with children and families for over 22 years. She is here to put our mom hearts at rest on what is typical and when to seek intervention.  Her job is to support parents and help them understand their children and regulate their own emotions so they can be present and supportive. We break down making sure your child is getting enough food, baby talk, sign language for kids, and non-verbal communication. The goal is to help our kids feel successful, connected, and understood and Stephanie uses her knowledge to help us get closer to our kids.  Connect with Stephanie Cohen:  Website:  Learn To Talk With Me! with Stephanie Cohen, M.A., CCC-SLP, CLC You Tube: Learn To Talk With Me - YouTube Instagram:  Stephanie Cohen, M.A., CCC-SLP, CLC (@learntotalkwithme) Links Mentioned:   My First Learn-to-Talk Book: by Stephanie Cohen M.A. I Can Say Dada!: by Stephanie Cohen M.A. I Can Say Mama!: by Stephanie Cohen M.A. My First Learn-to-Talk Book: Things That Go: by Stephanie Cohen M.A. I Can Say Moo!: by Stephanie Cohen M.A.  Harlan Cohen (@harlancohen) Related Episodes: Feeding Your Kids Without Mom Guilt :: Kacie Barnes [Ep 450] Fed is Best || New Baby Series Pt 1 :: Demetria Martin and Dr. Odom [Ep 342] Fed is Best || New Baby Series Pt 2 :: Dr. Bridget Young [Bonus] “How Do I Regulate My Own Emotions?” :: Charissa Fry [Ep 482] Summer of Mentorship Ages and Stages Series—Infants/Toddlers :: Rachel Norman [Ep 377] Featured Sponsors:  Honeylove:Honeylove is not just supporting women, it's empowering women. Treat yourself to the best bras on the market and save 20% off at honeylove.com/DMA. Use our exclusive link to get 20% off to find your perfect fit. After you purchase they ask you where you heard about them. PLEASE support our show and tell them we sent you. Elevate your comfort, elevate your style, with bras that empower your lifestyle of flexibility. Hiya: We've worked out a special deal with Hiya for their best selling children's vitamin. Receive 50% off your first order. To claim this deal you must go to hiyahealth.com/DMA. This deal is not available on their regular website. Get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors. 

Today my friend, Robin Pou, joins us to talk about his powerful testimony of a near-death experience in Africa while on a mission trip and share about his new book, a parable, that was 14 years in the making. Robin is an executive coach, author, and founder of a leadership development firm. He is in the business of training Christians to lead in the marketplace or wherever God has placed them.  Through Robin’s harrowing experience the Lord shifted his life to focusing on how to bring God into the marketplace for those not called to full-time vocational ministry. Robin has so many tips for working and stay-at-home moms on how to be missional in all that we do and how to make our intentions point to the Lord. We are reminded of the Hebrew word “shama,” which means to hear and then obey the voice of the Lord. Robin’s story is gripping but most of all reminds us we are born for a purpose whether we are leading a company or doing the dishes, there is a mission for our lives.  Connect with Robin Pou:  Website:  Empowering Leaders for Success | Explore The Confident Leader Here  are ways you can help support The Reluctant Disciple project… Buy a book or two and share with friends Write a review on Amazon Post on social media, email, or text Connect our team with podcasts and influencers Download discussion questions for your community group or book club Links Mentioned:   Empowering Leadership Services | The Confident Leader Kisses from Katie: by Katie Davis Majors The Reluctant Disciple: By Robin Pou Leadership Training & Employee Development Platform - The Optimism Company Halftime - Get Clear. Get Free. Get Going Crown Financial Ministries Related Episodes: Identifying Your God-Given Space (Part 2) :: Sally Clarkson [Ep 404] How to Own Your Life :: Sally Clarkson {Ep 54} Stewarding Sacred and Spiritual Disciplines at Home :: Jennifer Pepito [Ep 464] Featured Sponsors:  Lands End: Seize the summer in Lands’ End. Head to landsend.com  and use code (DONTMOMALONE) to get 30% off your summer purchase. Greenlight: Sign up for Greenlight today and get your first month free when you go to Greenligh.com/dma.  BetterHelp: This show is sponsored by Betterhelp. Never skip therapy day, with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/dma today to get 10% off your first month. Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors. 

Are you tired physically, spiritually, or emotionally as a mom trying to do it all? Does the thought of resting make you stressed because you can’t see how? Do you know what kind of rest fills your soul?   Today Jess Connolly joins us to talk about her new book and all the research behind the how, where, and why of rest. Jess’s life is full with being an author, Bible teacher, podcaster, and coach so she knows the challenges of finding pockets of rest in a full schedule. I love how we discuss that there is no one-size-fits-all formula for resting and we are all made differently by our creator with unique ways to recharge. (Don’t forget to take the quiz below to identify what kind of rest you need in this season) Jess reminds us that Jesus had true rest for us even in busy seasons that will lead us to be more awake, alive, and present in our families, ministries, and careers.  We end the podcast by getting sidetracked and talk about everything from theology books to ice machines- join us for tons of truth and fun.  Connect with Jess Connolly:  Website:  Jess Connolly Facebook: Jess Connolly Instagram:  Jess Connolly | Author + Bible Teacher (@jessaconnolly) Links Mentioned:   Quiz — Jess Connolly Tired of Being Tired: By Jess Connolly Breaking Free from Body Shame: By Jess Connolly You Are the Girl for the Job: By Jess Connolly Dance, Stand, Run: By Jess Connolly From Pentecost to Patmos: by Craig Blomberg Nobody's Mother: By Sandra Glahn Paul Behaving Badly: by E. Randolph Richards Nugget Countertop Ice Maker with Soft Chewable Pellet Ice Sun Visor Hats for Women Wide Brim Straw Roll-Up Related Episodes: Your Body is GOOD :: Jess Connolly [Ep 329] Worth Repeating // Jess Connolly A Naptime Diary :: Jessi Connolly {Ep 68} Featured Sponsors:  Rhone The Course to Court Collection can get you through any workday and straight into whatever comes next. Head to rhone.com/DMA  and use promo code DMA to save 20% off your entire order.  Honeylove Honeylove is not just supporting women, it's empowering women. Treat yourself to the best bras on the market and save 20% Off at honeylove.com/DMA . Elevate your comfort, elevate your style, with bras that empower your lifestyle of flexibility Thrive Causemetics Refresh your everyday look with Thrive Causemetics. Beauty that gives back. Thrivecausemetics.com/DMA for 10% off your first order.  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors. 

Do you try to coach or control your kids in friendships? Whether sending them off to Kindergarten or College there are so many opportunities along the way to help them be good friends and pick good friends.  Today we are revisiting an amazing conversation with Sissy Goff and David Thomas discussing how to help our kids foster friendships.  As licensed counselors, working at DayStar Counseling Center in Nashville, they provide support, encouragement, and compassion to children, adolescents, and families in need through counseling. This episode has advice at every turn for every age and stage. David talks about dropping his son off at college and how to be a coach - not a fixer. We discuss shifting from focusing on how to get friends to how to be a good friend. Sissy breaks down the girl issues that arise with anxiety, feelings of isolation or being left out, and moms who sometimes care more than their daughters about certain social situations. This is a perfect episode heading into back-to-school season as we prepare to navigate relationships alongside our kids.  Connect with David Thomas and Sissy Goff:  Website:  Raising Boys and Girls Facebook: Raising Boys and Girls Instagram:  Sissy Goff (@sissygoff) and Raising Boys and Girls (@raisingboysandgirls) Podcast: Podcast | Raising Boys and Girls Summer of Mentorship Discussion Questions: What stood out to you in the week’s episode? What is one step you can take to become a coach instead of a fixer?  Could you sit down this week and have your child make a list of what characteristics a good friend has? Ask them how they are doing on that scale and if they are looking for people with those same qualities. Can you name one issue one of your kids is having in this area and what ideas this episode brought up for you to try?  Are you praying for your kids' friendships and connections? If not, stop and pray now for one another that the Lord would provide lifelong Godly friends this year for each of your children.  Links Mentioned:   Common Sense Media: Age-Based Media Reviews for Families Are My Kids on Track?: by Sissy Goff, Melissa Trevathan, and David Thomas  The Invisible String by Patrice Karst Related Episodes: Helping Socially Anxious Boys :: David Thomas [Ep 451] Understanding Boys Better :: David Thomas [Ep 315] Raising Worry-Free Girls :: Sissy Goff [Bonus] Emotional Milestones :: Sissy Goff and David Thomas [Ep 160] Featured Sponsors:  Greenlight: Sign up for Greenlight today and get your first month free when you go to Greenlight.com/dma . Thrive Market: Save time and money and shop Thrive Market today. Go to ThriveMarket.com/DMA for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift.  Vegamour:  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors. 

As parents, we are keenly aware of the peaks and valleys of our kids’ emotions. Anger, sadness, excitement, and all the other feelings can make us feel like our child is on a roller coaster we’re just trying to slow down.  It’s true that we all feel highs and lows throughout our day, but we rarely talk about what it feel like when we’re “in the zone” and feeling calm and ready to go. My guest today is sharing about the window of tolerance and how to regulate ourselves and our kids to help stay in that window.  “If I am dysregulated, I cannot regulate my child. So if I'm in fight or flight and I'm yelling. There's no amount of yelling that brings my child back into the window. And sometimes parents think the yelling is working, but what you're doing isn’t getting your child in the window. They're going into collapse and into a place of fear.” Charissa Lopez is a Licensed Professional Counselor and believer. Her passion is to come alongside those who are hurting and struggling to help them find truth, hope, healing, connection, and growth. She shares some eye-opening information and statistics to get us on the path to helping our kids build resilience and stay in that window of tolerance.  Charissa shares from a faith-perspective that we as believers are not alone. She reminds us that we can lean on God to regulate our emotions as we love on our kids and go through the hardships of life.  “God himself through Jesus is the ultimate attachment figure. He is always reaching for us. He never fails to respond to our needs. He always loves us. He's never judging us and never shaming us. So to know that when we need to be co-regulated, that when I am feeling like I'm going to leave the window, I can remember the truth of who God is and I can reach out to him in prayer.” What we chat about: The window of tolerance when our brains functioning well and effectively process input to make rational decisions calmly without feeling either overwhelmed or withdrawn When we’re out of the window of tolerance, our thinking brain is not in control and we don’t register consequences  Many of us don’t live in the window of tolerance, but we’re too busy and stressed to stop and assess how we’re feeling at any given moment Hyper-arousal, otherwise known as the fight/flight response, is often characterized by hypervigilance, feelings of anxiety and/or panic, and racing thoughts. Hypo-arousal, or a freeze response, may cause feelings of emotional numbness, emptiness, or paralysis. Learning how to stay in your window of tolerance builds resilience, both for us and our kids When our kids live outside the window, they become “masters of survival” and often turn to negative coping strategies What co-regulating our kids’ emotions looks like Philippians 2:13 “For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.”  We can lean on God to bring us to that window of tolerance and into the fruits of the spirit Connect with Charissa:  Website:  charissalopez.com Facebook: facebook.com/CharissaLopezCounseling  Links Mentioned:   Regulation Pack for DMA Listeners [WEBSITE]  Rosie’s Brain [BOOK] Related Episodes:   Connecting Through Play Episode with Charissa  Ages and Stages–Tween Edition –differentiation episode with Charissa  Helping Your Child with Sensory Processing Issues :: Lynne Jackson [Ep 258]  Summer of Mentorship Discussion Questions: Have you heard of the window of tolerance before? If you look back at today, can you identify times when you were in the window and when you were in hyper-arousal/hypo-arousal? What about when your kids were in hyper-arousal/hypo-arousal? Are there some simple indicators that tip you off to your child’s de-regulation? How could knowing that your child’s thinking brain and understanding of consequences are not functioning in de-regulation change how you parent them when they have big emotional responses? Do you need to take more time to regulate yourself when you are upset before disciplining your kids? Make a list of strategies you can use to get back to the window of tolerance before trying to help your kids regulate.  God is the ultimate attachment figure and he can help us regulate through prayer, corporate worship and community. How have you seen God help you regulate in the difficult moments in life? Share some wins! Featured Sponsors:  Green Chef–Go to GreenChef.com/dmaclass for 50% off your first box + 50 FREE Credits with ClassPass! That’s code dmaclass at Greenchef.com/dmaclass. Gabb Phone and Watch-Gabb is offering HUGE discounts on phones and watches to new customers. There’s no contract required! Just go to GABB.com/dma to get started. BetterHelp - This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Never skip therapy day, with BetterHelp.  Visit BetterHelp.com/dma today to get 10% off your first month.

Out of the gate today we are into all the TMI topics like how to wear your gown at the Doctor’s office, mammograms, and what stage of menopause we are in. (Did you know there are five?) Cynthia’s family keeps it real as usual by washing their healthy vitamins full of fruits and veggies down with Diet Dr. Pepper.  Next up we discuss the Olympics, from what our favorite sports are to handball and break dancing, which we are pretty sure are made-up sports. I rehash my prolific synchronized swimming career and share how I impressed (read tortured) my boys on vacation by showing off my skills. Both of us are fresh off of summer family trips where I bribed my boys to play family games, and Cynthia got recognized in a hotel lobby while sternly talking to her family about taking a good picture.  Cynthia is reading Bird by Bird by Anne Lamont and gives some ideas on how to slow down and take note of the little things in life so we can remember them later. I share how the pressure to list all the needed family improvements can get overwhelming so I am choosing to list what is going well this season. Come laugh with us and be reminded that no matter how messy summer is making memories and taking time with family is invaluable.  Connect with Cynthia Yanof:  Website:  https://cynthiayanof.com/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cynthia.yanof Instagram:  @cynthiayanof  Podcast: MESSmerized  Links Mentioned:   Hiya kids vitamins (see link and discount below) Ilona Maher (@ilonamaher) Crazy Rich Asians | Prime Video Bird by Bird: By Anne Lamott NYT Games: Word Games and Sudoku Cynthia’s apple watch band The Bear (TV Series 2022– ) - IMDb Satin Heatless Curling Set  Bruce’s flat iron from when he chemically straightened his hair Related Episodes: The Goal Isn’t Happy Children :: Cynthia Yanof – Summer of Mentorship – Wk 6 [Ep 419] A Mash-Up of Summer Support [Ep 411] Breaking Up with Perfect :: Summer of Mentorship Week 4 Featured Sponsors:  Hiya–We've worked out a special deal with Hiya for their best selling children's vitamin. Receive 50% off your first order. To claim this deal you must go to hiyahealth.com/DMA . This deal is not available on their regular website Skylight Calendar-As a special, limited-time offer for our listeners, get $40 off your purchase of a Skylight Calendar when you go to skylightcal.com/ALONE . Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors. 

Do you feel like all the parenting books and formulas do not apply to your child? Is there embarrassment over public behavior that causes conflict? Are you longing for a deep connection with your kids that lasts into adulthood? Today we revisit my conversation with Amy and Jeffrey Olrick. Jeffrey is a clinical psychologist who specializes in working with children and families and uses his knowledge in the science of healthy human development mixed with faith to help us in our family relationships.  They go through the six needs of every child and share a compass to help you find your way when it gets challenging. Jeffrey compares our walk through life to a long and challenging trek with our kids where we can get off course but can use these tools to get back on track and build deeper relationships with our kids. He came to the Lord through Matthew 11:28-30 which says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light”.  We can take this to heart in parenting and in life that God wants us to be in right relationship with our kids and He has strengthened us with the Holy Spirit to do that job well.  Connect with Amy and Jeffrey Olrick:  Website:  Growing Connected Facebook: Growing Connected Instagram:  Growing Connected (@growingconnected) Summer of Mentorship Discussion Questions: What stood out to you in this week’s episode? Which of the 6 needs is the most hard for you to do with your kids? Why do you think that is the case? Jeffrey talks about sanctification through parenting. Can you reflect on one way you have been sanctified (free from sin or purified) through parenting? Share that win with the group and celebrate how the Lord has changed your life.  What are some things in parenting you’ve been looking for a one-size-fits-all solution for?  Can you shift your question from “What should I do?” to “How can I be with this child?” That process may start by sitting with the Lord so you have the grace and patience to be with your child in hard spaces. Ask the Holy Spirit for the ability to know what each kid needs at each moment.  Links Mentioned:   Growing Connected Podcast - Growing Connected The 6 Needs of Every Child: Amy and Jeffrey Olrick Which Need Do You Respond to the Most? - Growing Connected (Quiz)   Related Episodes: The “Don’t Miss” List :: Celebrating 10 Years of Don’t Mom Alone [Ep 434] Grace Based Discipline for Kids with Unique Needs :: Karis Murray [Ep 237] Understand Your Developing Teen :: Dr. Nell Bush [Ep 351] Featured Sponsors:  Thrive Causemetics: Refresh your everyday look with Thrive Causemetics. Beauty that gives back. Right now get 10% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/DMA. Duncan and Stone Paper Company: Right now, we have a special offer for listeners: Get 20% off your first order with promo code DMA20. And did we mention that they offer free shipping on any order over $49? You know we’re a sucker for free shipping. Head to www.duncanandstone.com  to start your memory making journey today! Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors. 

I love Kirk’s realistic approach to parenting. He understands what your home dynamics are like. And gives practical tips. After listening to today’s episode you will have at least three different “tricks” to apply. Most of all, I’m thankful for the new perspective he has given me. Kirk helped me recognize how emotionally invested I was in my boys’ behavior and freed me from the need to regulate their behavior for them. The last couple days I’ve enjoyed the boys more. I’m also less tense and frustrated when we are out in public. In fact, I may need to go back and listen to this episode more than once, so it sticks! This episode originally aired in May of 2015 Kirk came back on the show multiple times. Check out additional episodes here. What we chat about: Kirk’s realization that he needed to focus on his own behavior and stop trying to fix his son’s strong-willed behavior. The switch he made from training 1500 kids in his home to training parents to calm themselves. The one thing you can do today to de-escalate a tense situation in your home. How to calmly handle your child’s meltdown I can only control one person in life, and that’s me. How motion changes emotion–helping little ones calm down b/c they don’t know how to “think” their way out. What to do in the middle of Target aisle 3 when your child freaks out Handling a tantruming child when his siblings are fighting and another needs help with homework and dinner is cooking (Heather’s daily 5 pm reality). If you don’t care enough about yourself, to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, spiritually. . .why would anyone else care? How sometimes parents want good behavior so badly, they are too invested in it and give children too much control. How to be an impartial giver of wisdom. Write down your emotional triggers & do the opposite of what you normally do. Connect with Kirk: Site :: Twitter :: Facebook :: Podcast Links Mentioned: CDs/DVDs 888-506-1871–Toll Free Number for Frustrated Parents Summer of Mentorship Discussion Questions:  Discuss Kirk’s realization that he needed to focus on his own behavior and stop trying to fix his son’s strong-willed behavior. If you struggle to stay calm when your kids are out of control, what are some of your triggers?  Which of Kirk’s ideas to de-escalate a situation is most realistic for you? Thinking about how motion changes emotion. How did you react to Kirk’s idea of being an “impartial giver of wisdom” instead of being so invested in how your kids behave?  Spend some time working through a part of your day that is most challenging or a situation with a particular child and brainstorm ways you could respond differently. Share with others in the group and get their ideas if you are willing.  Featured Sponsors:  Thrive Market: Save time and money and shop Thrive Market today. Go to ThriveMarket.com/DMA for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift!  Better Help: This episode is sponsored by Better Help.  Stop comparing and start focusing, with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/dma today to get 10% off your first month. Greenlight: This episode is sponsored by Greenlight. Sign up for Greenlight today and get your first month free when you go to Greenlight.com/dma.