Claim Ownership

Author:

Subscribed: 0Played: 0
Share

Description

 Episodes
Reverse
We messed up. We thought this was a quick and tidy trip up to Lumiose City where we’d take on the gym and call it a week. That was not the case. Instead, we went on a Homeric journey across what we have to assume was most of the Kalos region when all was said and done. Along the way we hunted Furfrous, took a couple grueling Rhyhorn rides, met Team Flare, grabbed a bike, battled in the sky, and summited the Super Aggro Crag before we could finally call it a leg and hang up our DS systems for the week.
SALLY FORTH, BUG CATCHERS! Into season six, in Kalos, the noble land of beauty. We shall honor its simple elegance with our own, by having a season with no restrictions, baby! In Vaniville Town, meet Josh & Tanner’s new avatars for Pokémon X/Y—and their wildly successful mothers and supportive fathers (at least monetarily). Then, follow their journey to the first gym, during which they swoon over man and 'mon alike, and give both their (good) first impressions of the region and (bad) impressions of French. Te sentir plus tard!
What is likely our longest season to date has finally drawn to a close, and what did we learn along the way? For one thing, nobody really likes it when you don’t like what is clearly everyone’s favorite Pokémon game for some reason. You learned that some of the side games are some of the most engaging Pokémon experiences out there. Maybe you learned that rereading complex and confusing rules for six weeks doesn’t make for super dynamic audio? Or maybe you learned how to craft a team worthy of taking on Nobunaga, even if it took you 26 in-game years to do it. Thanks for the hard lessons, season five.
King Boo’s immense vassalage is ascending! All praise The God-Emperor KING BOO! His glory be known from the lawless wastelands of his upbringing in the south, where only the transient warriors reside—whose fates shift with the tides of every battle. They cry his name in the midlands, where hopeful champions vie for a shot at an esteemed Perfect Link Pokémon partner. His name is heard as a pleading whisper echoing through the vaunted halls of the Hallowed North, the elysian lands where warlords and Perfect Match warriors battle in beautiful martial praise to the man atop the immense, gleaming throne towering above the newly claimed Valora Kingdom—KING BOO! ALL FALL ON THEIR KNEES AND PRAISE HIS NAME! Josh was there too.
It only took King Boo and Joshua four weeks to finally figure out the game’s key mechanic and begin hunting down Perfect Links across the Ransei region, but please don’t let cancel culture get us for this glaring oversight. King Boo has definitely earned the Largest Army card this week, not that his army of weak-link-warriors can do him much good. But neither Joshua nor King Boo really struggled much this week, so it looks like smooth sailing to Nobunaga.
King Boo: So anyways, I was standing there waiting to use the payphone. Joshua: Yeah, he was, seriously. King Boo: And this guy who was on the phone, turns around and tips his hat like this. And who do you think that guy was? Kenshin from Illusio kingdom. Joshua: The Mighty Gallade man himself, I swear to God, I was there. King Boo: Of course you were, you were the one who yelled the Psychic Typer's kingdom name. Joshua: I was like, “ILLUSIO!”
King Boo and Joshua’s bloody conquest of the Ransei region continues this week, as they lay siege to Fortress Fontaine, known for its lovely fountains, which run red with the blood of the slain. That is where two roads diverged and Joshua took the one every walkthrough explicitly insisted you travel by, and that has made all the difference. Seriously, we had totally different experiences this week. What a game.
Welcome to a new interstitial season where the boys will be donning their traditional samurai armor and taking on the Ransei region in some pitched tactical RPG battles. But where to start? How about a deep exploration of the history and conception of Pokémon Conquest which, despite its appearances, is actually a spin-off game of a game mode in the popular hack-and-slash series Samurai Warriors. You’ll meet the new player characters, the proto-Joshua—progenitor to all Joshuas to follow—and King Boo, who is canonically the same King Boo from the Mario games, since everything we’ll come to know and love over the next six weeks has tragically and inevitably died. Rest in Petals.
The boys—who are now the Unova region champs, by the way—bumped into Bad Josh/Mr. Wrong/Hugh in Undella Bay and picked up a little HM called Waterfall, so you know what’s going to happen in this episode. Loose ends are tied up, legendary Pokémon are hunted down and captured, and an entire quarter of the map is unlocked for our Pokémonning pleasure. Over on Mr. Right’s team, things are smooth sailing, but Slaanesh is coming stacked this week with an all-new team, including one former ally from seasons past that finally finds its spot on an elite-level team. And stick around for the battle between the boys. The outcome might surprise you.
Our time in the Unova region is drawing to a close, but there’s still plenty of time to get some truly punishing Kingslocke draws before we summit Victory Road and take on the Elite Four once again. Some of us even had to build and train entirely new teams on this, the final leg of the main game, which is just insulting frankly. And once we’re done taking on the Elite Four and the Champion of Unova, there’s still one more epic battle: between Mr. Right and Slaanesh to decide once and for all who mastered the Kingslocke ruleset.
Alex Bugg (@gottasnatchemal) is back for the penultimate leg of our second journey through the Unova region this week and his character Kindy has a whole gaggle of school-aged Pokémon ready to take on Marlon, Mr. Right, and Slaanesh. It’s a breezy trip through the Marine Tube before we all arrive in Humilau City where Marlon leads trainers on a not-so-wild goose chase around the docks. It didn’t take a lot to finally vanquish him, unless you’re Josh, of course, and you’re only working with four Pokémon on your team. The boys also battled, which you can probably predict the outcome of. (Did I mention Josh only has four active Pokémon?)
This week Mr. Right and Slaanesh catch a ride to Eastern Unova where they revisit sights from postgames' past. The first thing on their agenda? A spooky haunted house, of course. After that, the only scary thing about this leg is all the routes where they were required to draw cards for the Kingslocke ruleset they’re playing with, but despite Josh’s shockingly low levels this week, they both managed to just pull through by the skin of their yellow country teeth.
The boys slid into Pokémaniacal Chris’s DMs this week to call him out on his punishing Kingslocke rules, but he ended up being a really nice guy so they asked him to come on the show instead. Much like Philip LeMarchand created the Lament Configuration, a puzzle box that—when solved—plunges you into an experience beyond limits. Pain and pleasure, indivisible…. … our guest this week is also the creator of a puzzle box of pain and pleasure known as the Kingslocke rules. Chris tagged along as Slaanesh and Mr. Right spelunked some caves, fought some bad guys, and took on Skyla in the Mistralton Gym. Follow his adventures here: https://pokemaniacal.com/
The journey across Unova continues to be filled with familiar sights, lovable characters, and the return of some former enemies seeking redemption, but it’s far from a stroll down memory lane thanks to some interesting card pulls for the Kingslocke rules this week. Mr. Right and Slaanesh meet a sexy werewolf, take on a sexy heartbreaker, cross a sexy bridge, see some sexy Team Plasma holdouts, battle a sexy sage, visit some sexy hotels, and finally delve into the gym to vanquish the business cowpoke Clay. And all of that happens BEFORE they finally face off against one another.
This week, Mr. Right’s path diverged from The Dark Prince of Pleasure’s path as they journeyed into Route 4. Mr. Right was met with crumbling ruins, tomb raiders, and villains who scavenged what they could under the oppressive heat of the bright desert sun. Slaanesh, on the other hand, found the accommodations on Route 4 quite lovely—in fact, with plenty of amenities and a vibrant community, they could almost see themselves settling down and managing a mall in a place like this. Really find true happiness from an honest, clean living. Oh, and Josh still can’t get the Kingslocke rules right.
Mr. Right and Slaanesh have finally made it to the mainland, but to be honest, with all the clowns, undercover bosses, sewer dwellers, and stressed clerks, they probably wish they have stayed over in Western Unova. The bright lights of the big city are beckoning the boys in, but first, they’ll need to wade nipple-deep in human waste to track down the gym leader of Castelia Gym, because of course they would.
The boys are joined by Drew Scheid (Halloween, Fear Street Part Two: 1978), who mercifully spared himself from the wrath of Kingslocke, and believe us, it was WRATHFUL this week. We head to Virbank City, our final destination in Western Unova and home to Pokéstar Studios and the punk rock gym leader Roxie. On the way, we’ll learn about a new friend named Dr. Ew then well face off in a three-way trainer battle to see which well-regarded young actor has what it takes to wrestle control of the podcast out of the hands of the two established hosts. (Spoilers.)
It’s a new game, a new season, some new characters, and a new ruleset—KINGSLOCKE—that’s so confusing that one of your two lovable hosts struggled to even understand them on this first leg. Welcome back to Unova! You may notice some new faces and places at the start of your journey, including Mr. Right and his band of elitist chosen ones and Slaanesh the Prince of Pleasure and her plague lords. It’s going to be a wet and wild one, so load up your carts, draw your cards, and let’s get catching. Notes: Want to punish yourself along with us? Check out Pokémaniacal's official Kingslocke rules here: https://pokemaniacal.com/2021/11/19/kingslocke-rules-second-revised-edition/
Welp, Bug Rangers... it's time to hang up the ol' styler wands, because our time in Almia is, regretfully, coming to a close. But not before we plumb the depths of a Team Dim Sun oil rig and set in motion a series of events that ultimately lead to a man's onscreen death—and that wasn't even a sanctioned mission! Then we chase after some clown called Heath who turns out to be, you guessed it, a prick. We close with an extremely long game of passing the Yellow Gem back and forth, Keith blows up, and all the bad guys get sucked into inky, black Hell. What a game.
Our styler wands are starting to look a little worn down (as are the lower screens on our 3DS machines) but we're not done yet! For part three of our journey through the Almia region, we meet the hottest new corporate post-industrial-pop-punk quartet with three members to ever be featured in a Pokémon game. We also head north to take on the personification of Sonic the Hedgehog before going back to Boyleland Volcano for another tumble in the hot magma. Finally, we reject everything we've learned so far to return to the sea to get gobbled up by a big, beautiful Wailord on our quest to take down Team Dim Sun once and for all.
Comments (3)

Pokebud Playz

so smell you later

Nov 6th
Reply

Pokebud Playz

we were at least pokenoobs in the red and blue

Nov 6th
Reply

Pokebud Playz

pokenoob

Nov 6th
Reply
loading
Download from Google Play
Download from App Store