“Not only do I want to like myself but I’m not letting someone else make money off of me hating myself. That’s just a bunch of bull shit” - SamIn our conversation, Sam and I talk more about how kids internalize the ways in which older figures in their lives discuss food and body image. We discuss what “looks like health” in the media vs. what is actual health, finances and treatment, discrimination and accessibility, and what it looks like for others to step in to help someone with an eating disorder. Follow Sam on IG @countkissesnotcaloriesResources:NEDA Helpline : (800) 931-2237Dana SuchowYour Dieting Daughter by Carolyn CostinInstagram Accounts to check out:@danasuchow@iamdaniadriana@bodyposipanda@neda@lizzobeeating@scarrednotscared@simonemariposa@glitterandlazers@curvesbecomeher@iskra@mynameisjessamyn@iamivyfelicia@realryansheldon@tessholliday@rybnyc@lexiemanion@aerie (don't retouch their models ever)@beatingeatingdisorders@unlikelyhikers
“The ED community will exclude people because they don’t have this preset label, because they don’t have this diagnosis written on a paper somewhere. There is this whole other group of people that, because they never received treatment, they’re not even allowed to have a conversation with people who have” - SamGrowing up watching her mom struggle with food and body issues, Sam started overeating at a young age; she dealt with bullying as a child because of it. From middle school through grad school, her symptoms bounced from purging to overexercising to restricting to drinking too much. In her story, Sam tells of what recovery looked like as someone who never received formal treatment, likely due to her family’s financial insecurities. Sam believes that if you can get treatment, get it, but wants people to know that she recovered by learning about eating disorders in her college classes and becoming involved with NEDA and the body positive community on social media. Follow Sam on IG: @countkissesnotcaloriesResources:- NEDAInstagram Accounts to check out:@danasuchow@iamdaniadriana@bodyposipanda@neda@lizzobeeating@scarrednotscared@simonemariposa@glitterandlazers@curvesbecomeher@iskra@mynameisjessamyn@iamivyfelicia@realryansheldon@tessholliday@rybnyc@lexiemanion@aerie (don't retouch their models ever)@beatingeatingdisorders@unlikelyhikers
This too shall pass:These days of feelingUnloved & Unlovable,Broken,Dirty,Like a burden:Heavy,Needy,Annoying,Clingy.This too shall pass:These days where your sensitivity makes it feelLike you’re too fragile to live in a world like ours.Like you’re an alien walking this earth for the very first time;A stranger, trying to figure things out,But you can’t quite get it.Strange.Like you don’t fit in anywhere.Like an outsider.Separate.Lonely.This too shall pass:These days of hating your body.Hating your earth suit.Your crawling skin.These days of hating your legs:The vehicles with which you move amongst the people.These days of hating your female parts.These days of hating your arms:Those desperately reaching for something,Wanting to hold on to ANYTHING.This too shall pass:The anxiety & obsession.The vise in your head.The pressure.The depression.The wounds of your past.The pit in your stomachThe darkness & dimness.The hole in your chest.The ache in your heart.The emptiness in your soul.This too shall pass:The days of working so hard but feeling like you get nowhere.Like you never accomplish anything.Of people telling you that you never accomplish anything.People questioning your commitment.You questioning your commitment.Of feeling too sick to commit.Of feeling too exhausted to move.Of feeling done.And when it passes:You’ll have days of feelingLoved & Loveable,Whole & Good & Wanted.And sometimes you’ll still have days of feelingHeavy & dark.But you’ll know how to cope,And you’ll know it will pass.So you’ll be still & skillful & patient.And rest & waitFor the good days of wholeness to come again.And when it passes:You’ll stop viewing your sensitivity as a flawAnd recognize that your sensitivity is actually a gift.It is THE gift that will create connections in your life.And grow connections into friendships & romances.And be the thing that separates you from other peopleIn a good way.In a way that is cherished & appreciated & loved.In a way that makes people want to keep you closeAnd to know you for the rest of forever.And when it passes:You’ll understand that it was another person’s hopeThat you would hate your body.Because your insecurity was a way for them to profit.And maybe then you’ll get angry at THEM instead of at yourself.And hopefully then you’ll start to heal,And forgive yourself,And find acceptance of yourself,And learn to like yourself beyond your body.And then look in the mirror and realize thatYou like your body sometimes, a little.And then that you like your body sometimes, a lot.And then that you like your body more often than you don’t.And then realize that you love yourself so muchAnd that your body is a part of you.So how could you ever not like it again?And when it passes: The anxiety & obsession will have taught youThe spaciousness of peace & freedom.The pit in your stomach will give way to hunger.Yes, for food, but for more than just food.Hunger to achieve all that you hope for,And all that you have yet to hope forBut will indeed hope for one day.The emptiness will stop feeling lonelyAnd start feeling exciting.Because when you’re emptyYou can fill yourself up with anything.That ache in your heart will stop feeling painfulAnd start feeling holy.*And when it passes:You will realize that you can stop working so hard.And that the current of life will take you places.And that grace will open doors.And YOU can decide whether or not to walk through them.And that decision will come with less effort & more ease.You will realize that the glory of surrenderIs worth the struggle of letting go.Let it pass.*line adapted from The Radiance Sutras by Lorin Roche
In this bonus episode/teaser for the start of a new season, Kristen Brunello, host of EDRS, discusses where she has been for the past year and a half and what she has learned during 12 weeks of quarantine. Topics Include: - Yoga - Depression/Anxiety - Creativity - Listening - Doing the work - Asking for help
Non Wels & Kristen Brunello explore the importance of community in recovery, giving ourselves permission to take moments of peace, and how Kristen became an eating disorder recovery coach.Check out You, Me, Empathy!
Kristen Brunello is the Founder of Always a Being, which provides affordable eating disorder recovery coaching, and the creator and host of the Eating Disorder Recovery Speakers podcast. Kristen struggled with an eating disorder from the ages of 12 –24 and hopes to make the philosophy, tools and inspiration that helped her recover accessible to those still suffering. Her passions include yoga, cats, friendships, tacos, New Jersey, and equality.We were so excited to dive in and learn from Kristen! We end up discussing…• Kristen’s story and her 12 year battle with an eating disorder• Her work as a Recovery Coach and what she is up to now• Opening up about mental health, addiction and eating disorders• Is it possible to fully recover?• Addiction vs. eating disorders• Finding meaning and purpose• Ayurveda, balance & recovery• The underlying struggle with control and stuffing down feelings• How to help loved ones with eating disorders• Resources & recommendationsHow to find Kristen:• Kristen’s Website: www.alwaysabeing.com• Kristen’s Podcast: Eating Disorder Recovery Speakers Podcast• Kristen’s Instagram: @always_a_being• Kristen’s 8 day recovery course: Accept Recovery• Kristen’s Recovery Archetype Quiz: www.alwaysabeing.com/quizEating Disorder Resources & Recommendations from Kristen:• https://www.meetup.com/• Coby Kozlowski: www.cobyk.com• Carolyn Costin: www.carolyn-costin.com• Recovered Living: www.recoveredliving.com• “Your Dieting Daughter” by Carolyn Costin• “The 8 Keys to Recovery with Eating Disorders” by Carolyn Costin• “Eating in the Light of the Moon” by Dr. Anita Johnston• “Solemate” by Lauren Mackler• “Women Who Run With The Wolves” by Clarissa Pinkola Estes• Food Psych Podcast
“I wanted to do what I needed to do so that I could be myself again. I wanted people to laugh with me. I wanted to play soccer and enjoy it and not hate being out there and struggle to get through it. So my motivation for getting back to a healthy state was to be who I was before, but even better. With those goals in mind, that really helped inspire me to take chances and to take risks.” – ErinIn my conversation with Erin, she and I talk about friendships in eating disorder recovery, eating disorders in college athletes, raising a child with food allergies, recovery tips and goals, and more.Full List of Conversation Topics:- The light & shadow sides of personality traits- When friends tell someone about your ED for the sake of your health- Advice for people who are concerned about their friend with an ED- College athletes and EDs- Raising a child with food allergies- Using incentives & consequences as ways to recovery- Rock bottoms- Recovery tips & goals- Advice for school administrators to handle athletes with EDResource- Erin's Blog- Austin's Allergies- Accept Recovery
“I wanted to do what I needed to do so that I could be myself again. I wanted people to laugh with me. I wanted to play soccer and enjoy it and not hate being out there and struggle to get through it. So my motivation for getting back to a healthy state was to be who I was before, but even better. With those goals in mind, that really helped inspire me to take chances and to take risks.” – ErinErin struggled with an eating disorder as a star soccer player at Michigan State University. Eventually becoming a successful soccer coach, she has a unique perspective on eating disorders in college athletes. A mother of 3, Erin is also the author of the recently released children’s book “Austin’s Allergies” based on the true story of her son Austin who has severe food allergies. In her story, Erin talks about all of these things, as well as shedding some light on how to work your recovery even when there are very real food limitations involved.Resources:- Erin's Blog- Austin's Allergies
“On April 4, 2016, I became weight restored. I’ve worked NY Fashion Weeks, graduated from an amazing university with honors, and started my own personal styling business at 23, but nothing in life am I prouder of than becoming weight restored. What I feared the most is eventually what saved me” – AmyIn my conversation with Amy, she and I talk more about her religion and faith in God as a tool that helped her recover, social media in recovery, weight gain post weight restoration, when weight changes with age, southern smash, and more.Full List of Conversation Topics:- Depression, suicide, & self-harm- Relapse- Religion & God- Social Media in recovery- The scale in recovery- Southern Smash - Scale Smashing- Weight gain post weight restoration- When weight changes with age- Stories of hopeResources:- Oliver-Pyatt Centers- Oliver-Pyatt on Instagram: @oliverpyatt- Center for Discovery- Joy’D Etsy Shop- Joy'D on Instagram: @joyoveryourdestination- Southern Smash- McCall Dempsey- McCall Dempsey on Instagram: @mccalldempsey- Accept Recovery
“On April 4, 2016, I became weight restored. I’ve worked NY Fashion Weeks, graduated from an amazing university with honors, and started my own personal styling business at 23, but nothing in life am I prouder of than becoming weight restored. What I feared the most is eventually what saved me” – AmyAmy is the founder of the Joy’d initiative which sends gifts to people in treatment. She is also in grad school to become a therapist. Her story is a raw one about her experiences with an eating disorder and major depression. She tells of her many relapses, her struggle with self-harm, moments in her life when she had no desire to get better, the power that her scale had over her, and what it felt like to gain weight past her “weight restoration” goal. However Amy’s story is one of hope; she talks about how worth it all of the struggles were because of how amazing her life is now, and how her faith and religion helped her recover.Resources:- Oliver-Pyatt Centers- Oliver-Pyatt on Instagram: @oliverpyatt- Center for Discovery- Joy’D - Joy Over Your Destination Etsy Shop- Joy’D on Instagram: @joyoveryourdestination- Southern Smash
“I think my recovery now is talking about it. That’s how I deal with it. That’s how I keep it real. I put it out there. I own it. This is part of me. I don’t have any regrets.” – KarliKarli is a fitness professional who puts her experiences with anorexia out in the open in order to help others heal. While Karli did see some outpatient treatment professionals, none of them seemed to work for her, because as she says, “nothing works if you’re still lying to yourself.” In her story she tells about her struggle with anorexia and how learning about the physical body and nutrition helped her in her recovery. In our conversation, Karli and I talk about why she believes someone is always in recovery, the mental and physical effects of an eating disorder, relationships in recovery, and how her ED made her a stronger person.Full List of Conversation Topics:- Why she believes we are always “recovering” from an eating disorder- Mental and Physical effects of an eating disorder- How her eating disorder made her manipulative- When people you love “call you out”- Relationships in recovery- How her eating disorder made her a stronger person- Definitions of healthResources:- Accept Recovery: https://alwaysabeing.com/ecourse/
“What’s interesting is that the commitment and fire that was present during both eating disorders is the same commitment and fire that helped me overcome them. I refused to settle to be unhappy and feel tethered to these disorders, and it feels surreal to look back and realize how far I’ve come.” – SamSam is a life coach and a yoga teacher who has overcome a struggle with several eating disorders, including orthorexia. In her story, Sam reads two eerily similar journal entries written several years apart. What they both have in common? The last sentence which says, “I want to be me again”. In our conversation, Sam and I talk more about orthorexia and how it is portrayed in the media and on social media. We also talk about yoga and the benefits of having hard conversations with people that we love.Full list of Conversation Topics:-Orthorexia-Social Media and Orthorexia-Yoga & Self-Inquiry in recovery-Community and its effect on Recovery-The benefit of having “hard conversations with people”-Personality traits in the development of an ED-Anxiety and yogaResources:-Sam’s Website-Sam’s IG Handle: @yogawithsam-Coby Kozlowski-The Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health-Ana Forrest-Jim Rohn-Nonviolent Communication-Accept Recovery 8 Day E-Course
“A lot of times the struggle of recovery is like this huge mountain you need to climb. And you’ve fallen so far that the peak of the mountain looks a century away. Understand that you don’t need to find the path. There are Sherpas. There are people who will guide you. You don’t have to do it alone. Even if the people around you don’t understand, there are people who are out there that do” – JGIn my conversation with Janine, she and I talk more about being a recovery role model, how to find motivation to heal when the people around you don’t understand your struggle, having a relationship with how your body looks, positive affirmations and more.Full List of Conversation Topics:- Being a recovery role model- Loneliness- Vulnerability, sharing, and connection- Tips for loved ones of people with eating disorders- How to find motivation to heal your ED when the people in your life don’t understand- How to have patience for people in your life who don’t understand your ED- Choice in recovery- Having a relationship with how your body looks- Reasons for exercising other than weight loss- Recovery pets- AffirmationsResources:- The Renfrew Center- "I Am: A Life-changing Guide to Creating the Future You Desire" by Janine Naomi Grant- Accept Recovery 8-Day E-Course
“A lot of times the struggle of recovery is like this huge mountain you need to climb. And you’ve fallen so far that the peak of the mountain looks a century away. Understand that you don’t need to find the path. There are Sherpas. There are people who will guide you. You don’t have to do it alone. Even if the people around you don’t understand, there are people who are out there that do” – JanineJanine and I were in residential treatment together in 2007. As the first person that I knew who was doing well in her recovery, she was someone that I looked up to. Janine currently lives in Colorado Springs where she works as the Director of Strategic Partnerships for Abundant, a leadership mastermind that supports sales professionals in their growth. Her mission is to help others experience the brightest and most authentic version of the light within themselves. In her story she talks about the feeling of loneliness and how it contributed to her eating disorder. She also talks about how having a recovery pet, being in a sales position, and starting to live life on HER terms helped her in recovery. Janine says her eating disorder gave her the invitation to learn more about what makes her happy and that sharing her story helps her to create deeper connections with other people.
“If our parents show dysfunctional behavior when we are children, we are victims. But nobody says we have to be the victim our whole life. Something has to happen to wake us up. When we awaken, then it is our responsibility to step out of the victim role and become heroes” – ElenaElena is a life coach, speaker, and author who grew up and currently lives in Sardinia, Italy. In her story, Elena reads a chapter called “Mama, why don’t you love me” from her upcoming book. The chapter tells of her struggle with binge eating disorder and bulimia from a young age, and how visualization, inner child work and her learned ability to reparent herself helped her heal the wounds from her childhood – the real issues underneath her eating disorder. In our conversation, Elena and I talk more about EDs and recovery in Italy and the Netherlands, advice for mothers of children with EDs, connecting to your inner child, and more.Full List of Conversation Topics:- Eating Disorders & Recovery in Italy- Eating Disorders & Recovery in The Netherlands- Advice for mothers of children with ED’s- Healing & connecting to your Inner Child- Self-Observation & Inner Child- When you release toxicity, what do you get?- What’s good in life now.Resources:- Elena’s Website- Accept Recovery 8-Day E-Course
“I remember being frustrated because it seemed like people would have ‘Aha moments’ and recovery would be so easy for them after that. It wasn’t like that for me. Recovery for me took a long time. Get support, don’t give up, recovery can happen for you” – SarahIn my conversation with Sarah, she and I talk more about eating disorders and identity, spirituality and meditation, body image, how to deal with friends who diet, and more.Full List of Conversation Topics:- ED symptoms as external validation- Identity – “Who am I?”- Spirituality & Meditation- Body Image/Phobia- How to deal with having friends and family members who diet/detox/hate their bodies- Eating Disorder Recovery CoachingResources:- Sarah’s Website- Sarah's Book Recommendations- Sarah’s Blog - Sahaj Marg - Quarter-Life Calling- Health at Every Size- Accept Recovery E-Course
“I remember being frustrated because it seemed like people would have ‘Aha moments’ and recovery would be so easy for them after that. It wasn’t like that for me. Recovery for me took a long time. Get support, don’t give up, recovery can happen for you” – SarahSarah is a fully recovered eating disorder recovery coach who was certified through the Carolyn Costin Institute. She lives in Victoria British Columbia and prior to being a coach in private practice, she was a dietitian working with individuals with eating disorders. Sarah’s story tells of her long struggle with an eating disorder and how finding a meditation and spiritual practice that resonated with her was a significant factor in her recovery.Resources:- Sarah’s Website- Sarah’s Book Recommendations
Kristen’s meditation teacher Lorin Roche once said to her, “there is a part of you that is not broken.” When she heard this she felt like she had been punched in the stomach and stabbed in the heart and was immediately brought to tears; it hurt so badly because it was exactly what she needed to hear. In this Meditation Bit, Kristen reads 3 meditations from Lorin’s book “The Radiance Sutras” which is a translation of the tantric text the Bhairavan Tantra. Two of the three meditations discuss how you can use your pain and wounds as portals into the divine and healing.Resources:- Lorin Roche- The Radiance Sutras: 112 Gateways to the Yoga of Wonder & Delight
Amanda is 20 years old and aspires to help those with eating disorders one day. In her story she tells about her struggles and relapses with anorexia and depression and shares a lot of treatment tools that she found helpful in her recovery. In our conversation, she and I talk about our experiences with residential treatment, coping skills and motivation in recovery, blind weights, relationships, and more.Full List of Conversation Topics:- Center for Discovery & Residential Treatment- Recovery as a full-time job- Coping skills for recovery- Motivation to get better- Negative vs Positive Self-talk- Relief-band and its effect on treatment- Weighing and blind weights- ED, Recovery, & RelationshipsResources:- IG Handle: HealthyIsTheNewSkinny- Center for Discovery- Center for Discovery Scholarship- Reliefband- The Mental Illness Happy Hour Podcast- Mentally Yours Podcast- Healthy is the New Skinny: Your Guide to Self-Love in a “Picture Perfect” World by Katie H. Willcox- Pound for Pound: A story of one woman’s recovery and the shelter dogs who loved her back to life by Shannon Kopp- Amanda’s Blog: Beautiful Us Recovery- Accept Recovery 8-Day E-Course
“Suddenly when I walked through the world, I felt powerful… I thought, this is me taking up the space that I didn’t think I was entitled to years ago. And now, because of recovery, I can walk like this” - MollieIn my conversation with Mollie we talk about the amazingness of the female body, as well as give advice for how parents can approach puberty with their daughters. We also talk about the neuroscience behind bulimia, Overeaters Anonymous, and the recovery vs recovered debate from the standpoint of the 12-steps.Resources:· Portia Nelson Autobiography in 5 chapters· Mollie’s website· AA meeting finder (Alcoholic Anonymous)· OA meeting finder (Overeaters Anonymous)· EDA meeting finder (Eating Disorders Anonymous)· ANAD meeting finder (National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders)· CoDA meeting finder (Co-Dependents Anonymous)· Accept Recovery 8 Day E-Course
Beth Brady
Every podcast tells part of my story and is such a dose of hope!
Beth Brady
I am always so comforted by Kristen and the stories. this is an amaging podcast and source of support.
Erik Breakell
I love this podcast. No matter what you are going through in life, it will be easy to draw inspiration from these talks.