EmPowered Couples with The Freemans

Are we getting too self-focused in marriage? In this episode, we unpack the cultural messages that push hyper-individualism (“fill your cup first”) and show why great marriages are actually built on mutual care, not solo self-care. We talk about healthy vs. overcorrected boundaries, why prosocial actions (doing good for your partner) boost your own mood, how to shift from short-term impulses to a long-term family vision, and practical ways to “out-love” each other in daily life. What you’ll learn from this episode:  The trap of “me first” and how it quietly erodes connection Mutual care vs. self-care (and why you can’t get to 100% alone) Boundaries that protect vs. boundaries that avoid A neuroscience-backed reason to give more (and feel better) How shared vision → shared sacrifice → shared joy Simple ways to prioritize your partner without losing yourself If this helped, drop a comment with your biggest takeaway, hit 👍, and subscribe so you never miss an episode. Reviews seriously help—thank you for taking a moment to rate the show! Explore all our resources (Couples Workshop, 30-Day Challenges, guides & more): meetthefreemans.com/links   Episode Timestamps of What We Discussed:  0:00 Love is a commitment (not just a feeling) 1:15 Intro & topic: Are spouses becoming too selfish? 2:41 The myth of “self first,” then the relationship 5:38 Mutual care over self-care (why you can’t get to 100% alone) 9:31 Study: prosocial acts boost mood & connection 11:48 Boundaries: healthy vs the overcorrection 14:05 F1 analogy — from beginner rules to mastery standards 17:47 Culture: hyper-individualism & consumerism in relationships 20:54 Shift to long-term vision (let the future guide today) 22:30 Family values & the erosion of the family-oriented model 28:24 Why media rarely tells you what truly strengthens marriage 30:01 Interdependence & “out-loving” each other 31:25 Choosing your partner’s needs: practical examples 32:46 Main takeaways & reminders 33:38 Love = commitment + shared vision 34:54 Closing: reviews, subscribe 35:12 Resources & sign-off

This week marks our 10-year wedding anniversary and if we’re being honest, the months leading up to it weren’t easy. Research even shows that around the 10-year mark, couples hit peak dissatisfaction. But here’s the truth: challenges don’t mean your marriage is broken. They’re invitations to grow, reconnect, and come back stronger. In this episode, we’re opening up about the 10 most powerful lessons from our 10 years together — the highs, the lows, the laughter, and the lessons that have shaped us as individuals, as partners, and as parents. Whether you’ve been together 2 years, 20, or 50, these lessons will give you perspective, encouragement, and practical tools to stay on the same team in every season. Don’t miss this one—it might change the way you see your marriage.   Relationship Resources: In honor of our 10-year anniversary, we’re keeping The Best of Us 30-Day Couples Challenge open for just a few more days! This special edition is designed to reignite emotional and physical intimacy, spark joy, and bring out the BEST in each other again. Join here: mycoupleschallenge.com/best Or explore all of our tools — from upcoming workshops to guides — at meetthefreemans.com/links 👉 If this episode gave you value, hit subscribe, drop a comment with your favorite lesson, and please leave a review so more couples can find this podcast.   Episode Timestamps of What We Discuss: 0:00 – Why 10 years can be a breaking point for couples 3:20 – Lesson 1: Keep updating your shared vision 9:17 – Lesson 2: Connection is more than just being around each other 15:52 – Lesson 3: Differences can make you a stronger team 25:14 – Lesson 4: Becoming parents forces you to reconstruct your marriage 32:09 – Lesson 5: How you show up daily becomes how your marriage feels 39:37 – Lesson 6: Be more committed to repair than being right (or hurt) 47:49 – Lesson 7: Most arguments aren’t about the surface-level issue 53:03 – Lesson 8: Don’t shift from biggest supporters to biggest critics 59:59 – Lesson 9: The same challenges repeat until you learn the lesson 1:08:48 – Lesson 10: Sometimes you just need to have fun and switch the energy 1:12:43 – Final reflections after 10 years

What keeps couples united through all the ups and downs? A shared vision. In this episode of the Empowered Couples Podcast, we break down why having a vision together is essential, how to define your values as a couple, and the practical steps to keep you connected in both everyday life and during challenges. Whether you’re in a hard season or just feeling stuck in routine, your vision as a couple is what pulls you out of the mundane and gives deeper meaning to your marriage. In this episode you will hear: -Why self-focus leads to more negativity (and how vision shifts that) -The 4 steps to creating a shared vision for your marriage and family -How values guide tough choices around career, parenting, and money -Ways to connect daily life back to your bigger purpose together -How to turn challenges into growth and strengthen your bond long-term 👉 Ready to reignite your intimacy and spark? Our Best of Us 30-Day Couples Challenge is only open 3x a year—don’t miss this round. Join here: https://mycoupleschallenge.com/best If you enjoy this episode, don’t forget to subscribe, leave a comment, and write us a quick review—it means the world to us and helps more couples find the podcast!   Timestamps of Episode: 0:00 – Why self-focus increases negativity 0:18 – How vision helps you think beyond yourself 0:34 – The danger of losing sight of your shared values 0:47 – Making hard choices aligned with your vision 1:00 – Looking back on challenges with pride 1:19 – Welcome + episode introduction 1:55 – Why vision bonds couples from the beginning 2:14 – Losing sight of “why” in everyday life 2:38 – Announcement: The Best of Us 30-Day Challenge 3:18 – Why vision is collaborative and long-term 3:40 – The psychology of self-consciousness & negative emotion 4:23 – How lack of vision creates conflict cycles 4:39 – Seeing hard seasons in the bigger picture 5:18 – Finding meaning even in the mundane days 6:26 – Step 1: Moving from present pain to future vision 7:52 – How vision brings relief and peace 9:09 – Parenting example: values guiding hard choices 10:17 – Step 2: Defining higher values and purpose 11:25 – Career choices and money vs. vision 12:37 – Step 3: Creating a simple, memorable vision statement 13:47 – Aligning vision with values, actions, and results 15:29 – Expanding your vision beyond your family 16:06 – Vision boards and visual reminders 16:29 – Step 4: Connecting present challenges back to vision 17:09 – Real parenting example from our daughter 18:43 – Seeing challenges as stepping stones to vision 19:29 – Simple reflection questions for couples 20:18 – The Hero’s Journey and your marriage 20:38 – Looking back on challenges with pride and strength 21:07 – Who you want to become vs. what you want to achieve 21:59 – Why connection is the most fulfilling outcome 22:22 – Final reminder: Best of Us 30-Day Challenge 23:16 – Closing encouragement + subscribe & review

Marriage after kids can feel like survival mode. Once out of the immediate chaos, it can settle into a state of function. Between diapers, school runs, shuttling to sports practices, your work, and endless to-do lists at home, it’s easy to put your relationship on the back burner. But here’s the truth: your kids don’t just thrive on how well you care for them—they thrive on how connected YOU are as a couple. In this episode of the Empowered Couples Podcast, Jocelyn & Aaron (“The Freemans”) share practical, real-life ways to stay emotionally and physically connected after kids. You’ll learn how to move beyond just “functioning” as roommates and bring back fulfillment, intimacy, and spark in your marriage before it’s too late. If you’ve ever felt the distance growing, this conversation will give you hope and concrete steps you can implement today. From this episode you’ll walk away with: How to make daily emotional check-ins that go beyond “How was your day?” Why non-sexual touch matters (and how to bring it back without pressure) Simple ways to make family dinners and daily routines bonding moments How to prioritize weekly and yearly quality time as a couple Why your kids benefit most when YOU thrive together Don’t just survive marriage after kids—reignite the connection that makes everything else in family life easier. Not only is this for your own satisfaction, but critical for what you then model to your kids.  Want to reignite the spark and feel truly connected again? Join the Best of Us 30-Day Couples Challenge—a proven path to bring back emotional closeness, intimacy, and joy in your marriage. Enrollment only opens a few times per year, so don’t miss this round: https://mycoupleschallenge.com/best 👈   If This Episode Resonated, Don’t Forget to: -Subscribe for weekly episodes -Leave a rating & review to support the show -Share this episode with a couple who needs encouragement   Episode Topics Timestamp: 00:08 – Why putting your relationship on the back burner hurts your kids too 00:09:50 – The emotional wall couples feel after building the “dream life” 00:10:38 – Why dissatisfaction peaks around the 10-year mark (and how to avoid it) 00:13:37 – Connection is what makes parenting and life easier 00:14:00 – Step 1: Daily emotional check-ins (not just logistics) 00:19:18 – Step 2: Non-sexual touch & physical affection 00:23:59 – Why kids need to SEE your love, not just receive it 00:25:02 – Special edition: The Best of Us 30-Day Challenge 00:28:11 – Step 3: Make family dinners intentional & device-free 00:32:57 – Step 4: Weekly marriage nights (beyond TV time) 00:34:44 – Step 5: Yearly getaways & bucket list adventures together 00:37:24 – The danger of drifting apart slowly 00:39:34 – Kids notice everything—why your marriage is their model 00:41:26 – Final encouragement & invitation to reignite your spark  

The problem isn't that your desire or drive is changing. The problem is that you're not talking about these changes and finding solutions on how to evolve with them and stay connected.  In this vulnerable and eye-opening episode, we share the real reasons intimacy shifts over time (especially after kids, through peri-menopause, or with stress and aging), and how couples can adapt together rather than growing apart. In this episode you’ll hear: -A raw confession from a wife/mom at a retreat Jocelyn spoke at recently -The difference between spontaneous and responsive desire -Why intimacy isn’t just physical—it’s deeply emotional and environmental -How hormones, lifestyle, and fear influence libido -Practical steps to create a more connected, satisfying intimate relationship—at any age   This episode is part of our Intimacy Series—helping couples reignite closeness and communication in every season of marriage. Want daily prompts to rebuild emotional & physical intimacy? 👉Join our special edition 30-Day Couples Challenge: https://mycoupleschallenge.com/best   Timeline of what we discuss in this episode:  00:00 – A real confession: “I feel guilt because I used to want intimacy all the time…” 00:21 – The real problem isn’t desire changing—it’s not talking about it 00:42 – Welcome to the Empowered Couples Podcast 01:00 – The impact of postpartum, perimenopause, and menopause 02:03 – Men experience changes too (and it affects confidence) 02:52 – Don’t compare to the past—it’s not the same anymore 03:17 – Powerful conversation starters to open up about desire 04:00 – Do men and women experience different libido shifts? 05:00 – Understanding hormonal changes: perimenopause and aging 06:01 – Postpartum, hormone shifts, and how your body chemistry changes 07:00 – Getting your hormones tested and being proactive 08:00 – Personal lifestyle changes and challenges we’ve faced 09:04 – Poor sleep, stress, and sedentary living affect libido 10:11 – Emotional exhaustion and cycle awareness in women 11:18 – How birth control and fertility windows affect attraction 12:18 – Fathers experience biological shifts too 13:06 – Fear of pregnancy can lower intimacy desire 14:05 – Lifestyle habits that support libido 15:21 – The power of variety, newness, and weekly rhythms 16:22 – Our 30-Day Challenge to reignite the spark (The Best of Us) 17:14 – Why we brought this challenge back more than once a year 18:04 – Spontaneous vs. responsive desire explained 20:20 – Most women (and couples) are more responsive than spontaneous 22:15 – Long-term relationships shift desire patterns 23:13 – Intimacy becomes more about environment and intention 24:32 – Create emotional connection without pressure 25:02 – Start with the hard conversation: talk about what’s changed 26:04 – Learn your erotic blueprint—how you’re wired now, not then 27:07 – Focus more on quality of intimacy than frequency 28:23 – Final marriage reminder: evolve together, not apart 29:13 – Join the 30-Day Best of Us Challenge 29:30 – Like, Subscribe, and Leave a Review  

Is it normal for intimacy to feel like another item on your to-do list? You love your partner, but between parenting, exhaustion, and unspoken resentment… desire can fade. In this episode, we're unpacking why intimacy feels like an obligation — and how to shift the emotional and physical energy in your marriage so that you both actually want it again. We share real stories, emotional dynamics, and practical shifts that help couples go from feeling like roommates to rekindling passion — even in the busiest seasons of life. Topics we cover in this episode: -Emotional disconnection vs desire -Why frequency isn’t the real issue -How to rebuild emotional and physical intimacy -Shifting from “obligation” to “wanting” again   Relationship resources: Ready to reconnect and reignite the spark? Join our 30-Day Special Edition Couples Challenge — The Best of Us (only open 3x a year): 👉 https://mycoupleschallenge.com/best   🎧 Subscribe for more non-boring marriage advice: New episodes weekly to help you communicate better, resolve conflicts, and stay on the SAME TEAM.   Episode timestamps: 00:00 – The real reason intimacy feels like a chore 00:28 – A typical day that drains your connection 01:28 – Intimacy isn’t just about frequency 02:08 – Emotional & physical disconnection = exhaustion 03:36 – Intimacy should fuel your life, not feel like an obligation 05:12 – What makes marriage different from other relationships 06:07 – Why passion fades (and how to bring it back) 07:06 – From obligatory intimacy to real desire 08:02 – The role of stress, overstimulation, and exhaustion 10:17 – Are you ignoring intimacy too long? 11:03 – Hormones, life seasons & libido shifts 12:10 – How unresolved tension blocks intimacy 13:00 – Top 5 blocks to intimacy (from our survey) 14:04 – Is intimacy actually enjoyable for both of you? 15:09 – Why honest intimacy check-ins matter 15:48 – Emotional tone shift #1: warmth, eye contact & presence 17:00 – Emotional coldness kills desire 19:00 – Micro habits that warm up emotional intimacy 20:08 – Shift #2: Physical touch outside the bedroom 21:36 – Shift #3: Initiation & anticipation matter 23:35 – Why women must also participate in creating desire 25:06 – Dating energy vs marriage complacency 26:35 – Would your dating self get a “yes” today? 27:53 – Shift #4: Intimacy starts outside the bedroom 29:19 – Check-ins and parenting stress affect desire too 30:12 – The power of fun and play in rekindling intimacy 31:27 – Relaxation and play spark openness 32:18 – Why our “Best of Us” Challenge is perfect for this 33:03 – Intimacy should be enjoyable — not expected 33:35 – Stop forcing frequency. Focus on connection instead. 34:13 – Subscribe + get ready for our upcoming Q&A episode  

Attraction in marriage doesn’t just disappear overnight, but it can fade through the habits, energy, and unspoken patterns you fall into over time. In this episode, we reveal the biggest emotional and physical turn-offs (and turn-ons) based on anonymous submissions from real couples. This episode is for couples who want to feel that spark again—without needing to go back to the beginning. In this episode you will hear: What’s quietly draining desire in your relationship Five patterns that slowly erode attraction How to reignite emotional connection and physical intimacy—without pressure or perfection Plus, learn how to take small daily actions with the 30-Day Best of Us Intimacy Challenge (sign ups officially open now - only available 3x/year) Reignite emotional & physical intimacy through small, meaningful actions by starting this September 1st challenge here 👉 mycoupleschallenge.com/best   Episode Time Stamps:  3:54 – Attraction in marriage takes effort 5:34 – How attraction quietly erodes 6:06 – Biggest turn-offs (survey results) 7:23 – Biggest turn-ons (survey results) 8:54 – Turn-offs women report most 10:18 – Turn-offs men report most 11:28 – Average satisfaction score (2.07 out of 5!) 12:25 – Criticism vs appreciation 15:12 – Physical self-care and energy 19:25 – The roommate dynamic 24:30 – Resentment is blocking desire 28:00 – Emotional shutdown erodes intimacy 30:33 – Rebuilding intimacy from now, not the past 31:39 – Energy you bring to the room 32:50 – Making your partner feel admired 35:33 – Refreshing rituals to spark attraction 37:00 – Timing matters: don’t wait till exhaustion 38:00 – Join The Best of Us 30-Day Couples Challenge  

You want to feel peace, love, and connection—especially in your marriage. But when something disrupts that inner calm, it’s easy to slip into old patterns: snapping, shutting down, blaming. Sound familiar? This episode is about how to stop being emotionally reactive—and start responding in a way that brings clarity, compassion, and connection (even in the tough moments). 🎧 What You’ll learn: Why controlling your partner won’t regulate your emotions How to take ownership without bypassing what you feel A 5-step process to go from reactive to responsive How to repair when you do mess up (because we all do) If you’ve ever said, “I don’t want to keep reacting like this…”—this is the conversation that will help you shift. 🛠️ Resources Mentioned in the Episode: → Rebuilding Us 30-Day Challenge → De-Escalating Conflicts Guide

Every couple has conflict. But when disagreements turn into labeling your spouse—with words like “selfish,” “dramatic,” or “narcissist”—it doesn’t just hurt in the moment… it chips away at emotional safety and long-term connection. In this episode, we unpack: Why labeling is so destructive (even if you didn’t mean it that way) How it rewires the way you see each other over time What to say instead that’s honest—but not hurtful Real-life phrases to express hurt without attacking character We also give you a simple script to use during tough conversations—so you can still speak your truth without triggering shame or defensiveness. If you want to feel closer and more emotionally safe in your marriage, even during conflict, this is a must-listen. 🛠️ Resources Mentioned in the Episode: → De-Escalating Conflicts Guide → Making Up & Moving Forward Guide → Family Meeting Guide   Episode Time Stamps: 00:00 – Why name-calling or labeling is never okay in a marriage 01:05 – What actually happens in your brain when you label your partner 02:13 – Pop psychology traps: labeling as “anxious,” “avoidant,” or “narcissist” 03:12 – Labels attack identity, not behavior — and here’s why that matters 04:01 – Labels don’t inspire change—they create shame and resistance 05:05 – The long-term damage: how labels rewire how you see each other 06:38 – How labels erode emotional safety and destroy repair opportunities 08:13 – The shift from “us vs. the problem” to “me vs. you” 09:42 – A moment of truth: do you and your partner ever label each other? 10:18 – What to say instead of labeling: label behavior, feelings, or boundaries 12:09 – Scripts to use: “When you ___, I feel ___, and what I need is ___.” 13:35 – Labeling your boundaries vs. punishing your partner 15:00 – Quotes to remember: “Name the impact, not their character” 16:02 – Why this episode is a wake-up call for every couple 17:13 – The 2 tools every couple needs to stop the label-repair cycle 18:05 – Final encouragement + how to find our best conflict resources  

You don’t just marry your partner’s strengths—you marry their triggers too. If you’ve found yourself walking on eggshells to avoid setting them off… or shutting down because you feel like you’re too much… you’re not alone. But let’s be clear: tip-toeing isn’t emotional maturity—it’s disconnection in disguise. In this episode, we unpack how to create real emotional safety in your marriage—so you can stop spiraling and start feeling heard, seen, and safe again. 🎧 What You’ll learn: How to bring things up without triggering defensiveness What to do if your're the one who reacts quickly The subtle shift that turns arguments into deeper understanding How your perception—not just the event—shapes your emotional response A real-life story from our marriage about navigating triggers in real-time Whether you’re the one walking on eggshells or the one who reacts fast, this episode will give you tools to stop avoiding hard conversations—and start transforming them into connection. 🛠️ Resources Mentioned in the Episode 1) If triggers are hijacking your conversations, these three guides will help you de-escalate, repair, and reconnect fast—especially in those “walking on eggshells” moments.  → De-Escalating Conflicts Guide: https://thecouplesexperience.com/conflictguide   2) If you’re working through a hard season in your marriage — the Rebuilding Us 30-Day Challenge was made for you. For 30 days, you’ll rebuild trust, improve communication, and reconnect emotionally through simple, guided steps each day. Start healing and moving forward together:  → Rebuilding Us: www.MeetTheFreemans.com/Rebuilding   3) Meet Us In Person — October 5th Couples Workshop Want to go beyond podcasts and guides? Come experience a full-day, in-person marriage workshop with us in Chandler, AZ. You’ll do private, guided exercises, learn powerful tools, and walk out feeling closer than you’ve felt in a long time. Spots are limited and always sell out. → Reserve your seats now for the Couples Workshop: https://www.thecouplesworkshop.com   4) You can also view all of our other resources here: https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links   Episode Time Stamps: 00:00 – Are you tiptoeing around your partner’s emotions? 01:10 – The problem with trying to “keep the peace” in marriage 02:24 – How we accidentally train each other to hide the truth 04:00 – When you’re scared of your partner’s reactions (or they’re scared of yours) 05:13 – What emotional eggshells actually sound like in real conversations 06:28 – The silent damage of unspoken resentment 07:42 – Why you both need to feel emotionally safe to be honest 09:03 – It’s not about walking on eggshells—it’s about building emotional maturity 10:21 – A secure marriage isn’t trigger-free—it’s repair-friendly 11:45 – How to shift your tone, so feedback doesn’t land as an attack 13:12 – Real example: giving feedback without provoking defensiveness 15:01 – “I want to be able to bring things up without it becoming a blow-up” 16:30 – The difference between emotional regulation and emotional suppression 18:18 – Why tiptoeing keeps your marriage stuck 19:20 – You both play a role in the dynamic—here’s how to change it 21:04 – Your tone might be more triggering than your words 22:47 – Tools for building a secure marriage where honesty is welcome  

Just because something is common in marriage doesn’t mean it’s healthy. We’ve heard countless couples ask: “Is this just a hard season… or is something actually wrong?” “Are we still okay, even though this feels hard?” In this episode, we unpack those questions using anonymous submissions from real couples. You’ll hear what challenges are normal in long-term relationships—and what behavior or dynamics cross the line into unhealthy territory. We cover emotional disconnection, mismatched intimacy, recurring conflict, parenting stress, and more. Plus, we share clear next steps for how to handle each one. Whether you’re feeling overwhelmed or just want clarity, this conversation will leave you feeling validated, informed, and ready to make meaningful change. 🎧 What You’ll Learn: What’s normal vs what’s not okay in conflict, intimacy, and parenting What’s normal vs what’s not okay in conflict, intimacy, and parenting Real examples from couples like you (and how we’d respond) One mindset shift that helps you stop tolerating what’s not working   🛠️ Resources Mentioned in the Episode  THIS SUMMER ONLY 3 MARRIAGE CHANGING GUIDES FOR THE PRICE OF TWO 🎉  → Making Up & Moving Forward Guide  → De-Escalating Conflicts Guide  → Family Meeting Guide Get the bundle here: https://thecouplesexperience.com/3guidesbundle   Surprise Bonus for Committed Couples If this episode was a wake-up call or gut check, you're not alone. Many couples drift because they normalize disconnection, resentment, or the roommate phase… until it’s too late. That’s why we created the Best of Us 30-Day Couples Challenge to help you reignite emotional and physical intimacy in just a few intentional minutes a day. This limited edition is only available a few times per year. And right now? We’ve got a surprise for you waiting here:  https://thecouplesexperience.com/surprise   Episode Time Stamps:  01:00 – Is this a normal marriage challenge… or not okay? 01:38 – One key mindset shift: “If it hurts your partner and you won’t change, it’s an issue” 03:03 – Are you playing the same game—or using totally different marriage rulebooks? 05:29 – Conflict: What’s normal vs. what’s actually damaging 07:13 – Are you really repairing—or just resetting the same fight cycle? 08:43 – Is it okay to not talk for days after an argument? 11:27 – Want to shorten your conflict recovery time? Here’s how 13:05 – The truth about intimacy: What’s normal… and what hurts the relationship 16:00 – Intimacy shouldn’t only satisfy one person 18:48 – What to do if desire is low (emotionally, physically, or hormonally) 20:44 – The role of emotional and physical check-ins 22:57 – Are you in a “roommate rut”? You need this challenge 24:35 – The emotional load & mental load: What’s normal, what’s not okay 28:15 – “If you’re not playing by the same rules, no wonder it feels off” 32:11 – Parenting struggles: How common are they and what’s truly not okay 36:55 – You don’t just need consistency… you need adaptability 38:44 – Stop parenting by default—here’s what to do instead 42:30 – What happens when personal struggles or boundaries go unaddressed 44:15 – The boundary breakdown: “If you're not playing by the same rules, you're losing” 47:55 – Final takeaways + How to get resources for your marriage  

Why is it so hard to change the way we show up in marriage, even when we know what we want to do differently? In this special episode, we sit down with John Assaraf, a renowned global leader in success and performance coaching, decades-long behavioral neuroscience researcher, and CEO of MyNeuroGym.com. He’s authored 4 bestselling books (including 2 New York Times bestsellers) and has been featured in 11 films. Together, we explore the science behind why we get stuck in patterns like defensiveness, withdrawal, or reactivity and how to finally break free. Whether you’re trying to communicate better, stay calm in conflict, or just feel more connected, this episode reveals what’s really happening in your brain during those moments, and what it takes to rewire it. John shares breakthrough insights from his book Innercise, along with practical tools to reshape your beliefs, upgrade your mindset, and master the habits that shape your relationship. Which is required if you want to get new results in your life and marriage. If you are ready to become the partner your relationship and your future needs, this episode is a must-listen. 👉 Grab John Assaraf’s book Innercise on Amazon   🎯 Get the Freemans’ relationship tools at MeetTheFreemans.com/links

Few things create more frustration in a marriage than the feeling of a double standard—when it seems like the rules are different for you than for your partner. Whether it’s around emotional regulation, how long you’re “allowed” to feel upset, or what tone is acceptable from whom, these invisible imbalances quietly erode trust and connection over time. In this episode, we unpack the real-life double standards men and women often feel in marriage—and how those dynamics are deeply tied to core fears like unfairness, rejection, or not being heard. We’re not here to point fingers—we’re here to name the patterns, give them language, and teach you how to break the cycle without turning on each other. You’ll learn how to move beyond keeping score, how to express your needs without weaponizing them, and how to create emotional safety when things feel uneven. If you’ve ever thought, “Why is it okay when they do it, but not when I do?”—this one is for you. 👉 One way to prevent these double standard dynamics is by consistently building up your “Love Account” through small daily deposits of connection, appreciation, and presence. That’s exactly what the Prioritizing Us 30-Day Couples Challenge is designed to help you do. Start today at MyCouplesChallenge.com.

You want your marriage to feel like a place of joy, momentum, and shared purpose—not just survival mode. Just like in any great sport, the most fulfilling performance only happens inside clear, agreed-upon boundaries. In this episode, we explore the invisible lines that protect your connection, prevent slow erosion, and allow your relationship to thrive through both play and pressure. Whether it’s how you handle conflict, manage emotional energy, or protect your marriage from outside influences, these boundaries are non-negotiables for couples who want to go the distance. You’ll walk away with powerful insights and practical tools to strengthen your bond and prevent unnecessary damage along the way. 👉 Don’t miss the summer-only special of our 3-guide bundle—De-Escalating Conflicts, Making Up & Moving Forward, and Family Meeting—designed to help you implement everything from this episode. Get the Special 3 Guide Bundle here.

Your emotional state doesn’t just affect you—it affects your partner, too. In fact, if you don’t learn how to co-regulate, you’ll unintentionally become each other’s stressor instead of each other’s support system. This episode goes beyond managing your own emotions and explores how to stay grounded together, especially in high-stress moments. We’ll break down what co-regulation really means in marriage, how your nervous systems influence each other in subtle but powerful ways, and how to stop spiraling into fights about the fight. You’ll learn 5 practical steps to co-regulate in real-life moments and how to create a more emotionally safe home—one small choice at a time. 👉 Don’t forget to grab the summer-only special of our 3-guide bundle, featuring the De-Escalating Conflicts Guide, Making Up & Moving Forward Guide, and Family Meeting Guide—all designed to help you stay connected and handle hard moments with more calm and clarity. Available here Special 3 Guide Bundle

Stressful situations are inevitable, but how you handle them together can either strengthen or strain your relationship. In this episode, we talk about the kind of external stress that sneaks up on you: sick kids, surprise job changes, financial curveballs, or even your dog throwing up after eating crayons. But the real breakdown doesn’t come from the stress itself, it comes from when that stress turns into tension between you. Suddenly, you're no longer teammates, you're opponents. That’s when decisions get harder, emotions run hotter, and connection takes a hit. We share personal stories from our own chaotic summer, what it’s like prepping for big life changes (including being guests on Ed Mylett’s podcast), and how good stress and bad stress can show up in unexpected ways. You’ll also hear real-life examples from couples navigating stress with completely different approaches—and how to stay united even when your instincts don’t align. If you want to face pressure as partners, not enemies, this episode is a must-listen. 👉 Ready to strengthen your connection and navigate tough seasons as a team? Start the Prioritizing Us 30-Day Couples Challenge at mycoupleschallenge.com

What if the key to a deeper, more connected marriage wasn’t just about communicating more, but communicating in the right way? In this episode I sit down with Pulitzer Prize winning journalist and bestselling author Charles Duhigg, whose newest book Supercommunicators breaks open the science of how real connection happens. We explore how couples often end up having two totally different types of conversations — practical, emotional, or social — without even realizing it, and how that mismatch can quietly erode understanding and intimacy. Charles also shares how vulnerability and mirroring build emotional closeness, but how quickly that connection can be disrupted by subtle patterns of judgment or control. These hidden dynamics don’t always show up as shouting or criticism. Sometimes they sneak in through trying to fix, correct, or redefine how your partner sees themselves. Whether you're navigating everyday stress or deeper conflict, this episode reveals how to shift from disconnect to understanding, and how to communicate in ways that sync both your brains and your hearts.   Relationship Resources ⬇️ Start the 30-Day Prioritizing Us Couples Challenge to grow your connection, improve communication, and feel like a team again, especially for those that are parents. It starts on June 1st, 2025. You can add your partner for free. www.mycoupleschallenge.com

With all the conflicting relationship advice floating around, like “you shouldn’t need your partner” versus “you should be able to lean on them emotionally”, it’s no wonder couples feel confused about what a healthy marriage really looks like. In this episode we unpack the real difference between codependence, hyper independence, and interdependence and why understanding where you and your partner fall on this spectrum could change everything. We also share our own journey through these patterns and explore how they show up in daily life, especially in conflict, under stress, and when you’re trying to get your needs met. If you've ever felt too needy, too shut down, or just unsure how to stay connected without losing yourself, this episode is for you. We’ll walk you through the signs, the shifts, and the steps to build a partnership that feels secure and sustainable without giving everything away here.   Relationship Resources Grab our 3 Guides Bundle for deeper connection and conflict repair Includes: • The Family Meeting Guide • The De-Escalating Conflicts Guide • The Making Up and Moving Forward Guide These tools will help you communicate clearly, reconnect after conflict, and stay united through life’s toughest moments.

What if being a happier couple had less to do with big changes—and everything to do with small, intentional daily habits? In this episode, we’re breaking down five simple but powerful actions that bring more connection, lightness, and emotional closeness into your marriage. These aren’t just “nice to do” ideas—these are the habits that shift the atmosphere in your relationship and help you feel like true teammates again. We’ll explore the daily patterns that shape how connected or distant you feel, and why certain overlooked moments carry more weight than you realize. Whether you're in a good place or trying to find your way back to each other, these five habits are practical, doable, and surprisingly impactful. Listen in and see which one your relationship might need most right now.   Relationship Resources: 💛 Want us to send you the daily actions that create these kinds of habits? Join the “Prioritizing Us” 30-Day Couples Challenge, it’s designed to help you reconnect in small but meaningful ways and fill your love accounts each day, especially during busy seasons.