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Emotional Sobriety: The Next Step in Recovery
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Emotional Sobriety: The Next Step in Recovery

Author: Allen Berger & Thom Rutledge

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Bill Wilson, co-founder of Alcoholic's Anonymous, wrote in 1952, "If we examine every disturbance we have, great or small, we will find at the root some unhealthy dependence and its consequent demand." Wilson suggested that if we could identify and continually surrender these unrealistic and unrecognizable demands, that we may then be able to accomplish what he imagined to be recovery's next frontier - something he called emotional sobriety.
 
Flash forward 70 years, and join psychotherapists and best-selling authors Thom Rutledge and Dr. Allen Berger, who have taken up the mantle of exploring Bill Wilson's new frontier. Welcome to Emotional Sobriety.
206 Episodes
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“...the pain that comes from loving someone who's in trouble can be profound.” ― Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself   Joe’s “Beyond Belief” book: https://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Belief-reflection-nonbelievers-freethinkers/dp/0988115700   See guest Michael Harney’s play, “Danny Boy” still showing in Los Angeles: https://www.onstage411.com/newsite/show/play_info.asp?show_id=7432   Patrick’s “Outside Issues” podcast, about the intersection of recovery and social justice: https://www.youtube.com/@outsideissuespodcast https://pod.link/1826305552   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com    Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):  https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at pndirective4@gmail.com for any questions or comments.
The Merry-Go-Round

The Merry-Go-Round

2025-10-1243:12

Joe, Thom, and Patrick talk Marcus Aurelius, read a daily reflection from Joe’s “Beyond Belief,” and consider the uncomfortable necessity of staying in the center of the herd. We also talk about making a difference and keeping the candle of hope burning during our particularly brutal and unjust time.   Joe’s “Beyond Belief” book: https://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Belief-reflection-nonbelievers-freethinkers/dp/0988115700   See last week guest Michael Harney’s play, “Danny Boy” still showing in Los Angeles: https://www.onstage411.com/newsite/show/play_info.asp?show_id=7432   Patrick’s “Outside Issues” podcast, about the intersection of recovery and social justice: https://www.youtube.com/@outsideissuespodcast https://pod.link/1826305552   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com    Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):  https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at pndirective4@gmail.com for any questions or comments.
Actor, writer and director Michael J. Harney (NYPD Blue, Deadwood, True Detective) joins Thom and Allen to talk about his evolving spirituality and journey to recovery, his experience directing his new play “Danny Boy,” his friendship with the legendary David Milch, and how emotional sobriety has shown up for him over the years in his relationships with others and his Muse.   See Michael’s play, “Danny Boy” now showing in Los Angeles: https://www.onstage411.com/newsite/show/play_info.asp?show_id=7432   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Patrick’s “Outside Issues” podcast, about the intersection of recovery and social justice: https://www.youtube.com/@outsideissuespodcast https://pod.link/1826305552   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):  https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at pndirective4@gmail.com for any questions or comments.
Joe C. joins Allen and Patrick to introduce what will be a series of episodes discussing how emotional sobriety can improve our sexual relationships, building genuine intimacy with partners. Finding ways to connect authentically, standing for ourselves without erasing our partners, and showing up for our partners without erasing ourselves.   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com    Joe’s “Beyond Belief” book: https://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Belief-reflection-nonbelievers-freethinkers/dp/0988115700   Patrick’s “Outside Issues” podcast, about the intersection of recovery and social justice: https://www.youtube.com/@outsideissuespodcast https://pod.link/1826305552   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):  https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at pndirective4@gmail.com for any questions or comments.
Trauma is Subjective

Trauma is Subjective

2025-09-0547:32

Clinical trauma specialist and author of Trauma and the 12 Steps Jamie+ Marich, Ph.D., LPCC-S, REAT joins Allen and Thom this week to talk about her body of work, field of study and pursuit of emotional sobriety. We pay special attention to the trauma surrounding loss, since all trauma work involves grief work. Learn more about Dr. Marich: www.redefinetherapy.com www.instituteforcreativemindfulness.com www.jamiemarich.com Virtual book tours: www.redefinetherapy.com Instagram: drjamiem TikTok: traumatherapistrants Now available for pre-order: Queering EMDR Therapy (September 2025)   Patrick’s “Outside Issues” podcast, about the intersection of recovery and social justice: https://www.youtube.com/@outsideissuespodcast https://pod.link/1826305552   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com    Joe’s “Beyond Belief” book: https://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Belief-reflection-nonbelievers-freethinkers/dp/0988115700   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):  https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at pndirective4@gmail.com for any questions or comments.
Beliefs Are Choices

Beliefs Are Choices

2025-08-3038:37

Thom, Joe, and Patrick read from the Beyond Belief daily reflections about where emotional sobriety can come in when we’re struggling to tolerate opposing beliefs and challenging personalities. Emotional sobriety requires not only respect for ourselves, but respect for others.   Patrick’s “Outside Issues” podcast, about the intersection of recovery and social justice: https://www.youtube.com/@outsideissuespodcast https://pod.link/1826305552   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com    Joe’s “Beyond Belief” book: https://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Belief-reflection-nonbelievers-freethinkers/dp/0988115700   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at pndirective4@gmail.com for any questions or comments.
Close to the Ditch

Close to the Ditch

2025-08-2242:33

Joe Chisholm returns to discuss helping others through suggestion, not “expertise.” Emotional sobriety can help us escape a “victim mentality” we must shed to become the best version of ourselves. We use the term “victim” delicately, taking into account genuine sufferers of abuse and victimization. Whether one hour or twenty years sober, we’re all engaging with the same work and the same pursuit of emotional freedom.   Patrick’s “Outside Issues” podcast, about the intersection of recovery and social justice: https://www.youtube.com/@outsideissuespodcast https://pod.link/1826305552   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com   Joe’s “Beyond Belief” book: https://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Belief-reflection-nonbelievers-freethinkers/dp/0988115700   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at pndirective4@gmail.com for any questions or comments.
Thom and Allen discuss pursuing emotional sobriety once we become aware of our “unconscious incompetence.” In practicing anything until it becomes innate and automatic, the path begins (as so much of what we do), in acceptance. We return to the serenity prayer.   Patrick’s “Outside Issues” podcast, about the intersection of recovery and social justice: https://www.youtube.com/@outsideissuespodcast https://pod.link/1826305552   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com    Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at pndirective4@gmail.com for any questions or comments.
"I Am Not a Counselor"

"I Am Not a Counselor"

2025-08-0745:58

Having recently celebrated 40 years of continuous sobriety, Bill Cleveland, a pillar in a multitude of recovery fellowships (namely Hermosa Beach Men’s Stag) discusses with Allen alcoholism as an analogue for emotional immaturity, AA as something we “get” to do rather than something we “have” to do, “second first steps,” the importance of amends and working with others.   If you’re in recovery or mental health spaces and interested in politics and social justice, Patrick has a new weekly podcast about the intersection of just those things! “Outside Issues” with Audrey and Patrick: https://www.youtube.com/@outsideissuespodcast https://pod.link/1826305552   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at pndirective4@gmail.com for any questions or comments.
Superfriend Carol Carter returns to talk about a recent breakthrough in self-love, a welcome reminder that Emotional Sobriety is above all else a discovery of new possibilities.   Carol is accepting clients for executive and professional coaching, and can be contacted here: carolcartercoaching@gmail.com   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at pndirective4@gmail.com for any questions or comments.
We respond to criticisms leveled at a recent workshop: is Emotional Sobriety somehow alternative, even interruptive, of a faithful rigorous 12 Step program, or is it a complement to it? As always we try to get to the feeling beneath the compulsion, the “stuckness” that prevents us from reaching that fourth dimension. Allen, Thom, and Joe C. wore out their big books in their early days, but still keep them close. Recovery is an “all hands on deck” process.   Join Thom for Why Inner Child Work Matters: A Foundation for Self-Care in Recovery Saturday • July 26, 2025 10:00 am - 1:00 pm Central To register, send an email to thomrutledgeauthor@gmail.com    Join Allen, Thom, and Joe C. on Zoom at the “Growing in Understanding” group this Friday, July 25th @ 2pm PST: ID: 875 319 1947 Password: 2GROWIN   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at pndirective4@gmail.com for any questions or comments.
Second First Steps

Second First Steps

2025-07-1230:23

Carol Carter returns to the show to talk about letting go of her resentments towards her ex-husband. By freeing him, she freed herself. Many of us first veered off course in our largely unconscious emotional dependencies, creating a powerlessness and unmanageability on par with any other addiction. In emotional sobriety we learn to hold onto ourselves, in good times or bad.   Carol is accepting clients for executive and professional coaching, and can be contacted here: carolcartercoaching@gmail.com   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at pndirective4@gmail.com for any questions or comments.
Joe C. joins Patrick and Thom to chat about mutual aid versus self-help: how collectivism can feed our emotional sobriety. When we give ourselves to fellowship and sharing, we’re gaining something as much as we’re giving it away. The origin of AA itself can be attributed to this concept. Register for what’s sure to be lively: the 2025 International Convention of Alcoholics Anonymous, which begins tomorrow on July 3rd and extends through July 6th: https://www.aa.org/international-convention   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at pndirective4@gmail.com for any questions or comments.
Joe Chisholm checks back in. We read a passage from his daily reflections book and he brings to our attention “Living Sober,” which was written more than 40 years after the AA Big Book was published. When those recovering were asked “what were the reasons you drank?,” they often said they used it to express their anger. Today we search for new mediums to express our emotions.   As Allen likes to remind us, we’re stuck, not sick. In the space between a stimulus and a response we try to lean into the pause and listen to our second voice. Emotional sobriety lies therein.   We can also do a brief check in with the audience about recent controversy over our political opinions.   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at pndirective4@gmail.com for any questions or comments.
Letting Go Never Stops

Letting Go Never Stops

2025-06-2035:03

This week we talk about taking better lessons from our mistakes. In finding our emotional center of gravity, recognizing we’re sick rather than stuck, we try to trust the process instead of controlling the outcome.   To participate in Thom’s Inner Child Workshop on Saturday, June 21st @ 10am CST, email him here: thomrutledgeauthor@gmail.com    Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at pndirective4@gmail.com for any questions or comments.
Allen, Thom, and Patrick discuss the recent political upheaval and encroaching fascism of Trump and ICE. Allen relates the tension between our obligations to society and commitment to ourselves to a quote from Eric Fromme. Emotional sobriety is found in adapting, but not at the expense of becoming.   Then, Patrick talks to artist, organizer, and person in recovery Elizabeth Medrano. A shared impulse towards emotional sobriety, social justice, and their fellows are all part of the same continuum.   To participate in Thom’s Inner Child Workshop on Saturday, June 21st @ 10am CST, email him here: thomrutledgeauthor@gmail.com    Consider donating to CHIRLA: https://www.instagram.com/chirla_org?igsh=NjVhODU3cGF3NWxw   Also LATACO: https://www.instagram.com/lataco?igsh=MW5vaXMydHllcGVwYQ   Loyola Immigrant Justice Clinic: https://www.lls.edu/academics/experientiallearning/clinics/loyolaimmigrantjusticeclinic/   Attend the “NO KINGS” protest: https://www.nokings.org/   From “The New Colossus” "Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!" Emma Lazarus November 2, 1883   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at pndirective4@gmail.com for any questions or comments.
Samantha was a psychologist before she found recovery, and her experience with the 12 Steps is just one touchstone in her evolving relationship to life in pursuit of greater emotional sobriety. This week she chats with Allen and Thom about her recent experience at Recovery Reimagined in Dublin, what we mean by “Recovery Capital”, and her new book.   Samantha’s book Channels of Peace HERE   To participate in Thom’s Inner Child Workshop on Saturday, June 21st @ 10am CST, email him here: thomrutledgeauthor@gmail.com   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at pndirective4@gmail.com for any questions or comments.
Staying In

Staying In

2025-05-3035:33

Having returned from the second annual Recovery Reimagined conference in Dublin, Patrick reflects on the passing of a longtime sober friend who took his own life. Allen and Thom offer their own professional and personal experiences with suicide, depression and “anti-self”, which maximizes our life’s problems while minimizing the resources we have to deal with them.   To participate in Thom’s Inner Child Workshop on Saturday, June 21st @ 10am CST, email him here: thomrutledgeauthor@gmail.com   Some of R.T. Castleberry’s poetry: https://mockingheartreview.com/archives/volume-5-issue-1/poems-to-start-the-decade/r-t-castleberry/   https://writingdisorder.com/r-t-castleberry-poetry-2/   The closing song “No Other Choice to Choose” is by Herman Kluge & Paul Boedeker from Society of Little Friends   From our last episode, Carl Erik Fisher’s Flourishing After Addiction podcast: https://pod.link/1581713114   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at pndirective4@gmail.com for any questions or comments.
Allen, Thom, and Patrick welcome addiction psychiatrist Carl Erik Fisher of Columbia University to discuss emotional sobriety. In the pursuit of “making sense of what happened to him” after his addiction hit a point of critical mass and he decided to seek help, Dr. Fisher wrote The Urge: Our History of Addiction and began regular episodes of the Flourishing After Addiction podcast to look for answers. How did we get here, how are we recovering, and how can we carry a message of education and hope?   Our relationship to community, to Self, and to our own self-esteem are dynamics which must evolve for us to find that “quiet place in bright sunshine” Bill mentions in his 1958 letter.   Learn more about Dr. Fisher on his website: https://www.carlerikfisher.com   His podcast, Flourishing After Addiction: https://pod.link/1581713114   Allen and Patrick will be in Dublin for the Recovery Reimagined conference next week, which can be attended virtually or in person: https://friendlycircleberlin.org/recovery-reimagined-2025   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at pndirective4@gmail.com for any questions or comments.
When we try to wrestle security from life, we often get pinned. Joe Chisholm offers us this:   Dee Hock (1929-2022) wrote:    “Life is not about control; it is not about getting; it is not about having or knowing. It is not even about being. Life is eternal, perpetual becoming, or it is nothing. Becoming is not a thing to be known, commanded, or controlled. It is a magnificent, mysterious odyssey to be experienced.”   Near the end of Twelve Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety, it captures the same becoming (the journey) vs. the outcome (controlling):  "Emotional stability is achieved in our lives by becoming aware of our toxic beliefs and unenforceable rules, the ideas that make our emotional balance dependent on external conditions....  Once we become aware of these unenforceable rules, we must surrender them. We need to move toward an attitude of “I am okay even if this or that happens,” and away from the idea that “I am okay only if this happens or that happens.” This is emotional freedom. This freedom brings more stability to our canoe; we might even dance in it if we wish!"   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/   Patrick and Allen will be attending Friendly Circle Berlin's "Recovery Reimagined" event in Dublin, more info here: https://friendlycircleberlin.org/recovery-reimagined-2025   Upcoming events with Allen Berger: https://abphd.com/events/   Join an ongoing Zoom meeting wherein participants read Bill Schaberg’s 30 Things: Practical Advice for Living Well chapter-by-chapter here: 11.00am East Coast / 4.00pm U.K. ID: 875 319 1947 Password: 2GROWIN   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.  
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