Enough Wicker: Intellectualizing the Golden Girls
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© Lauren Kelly and Sarah Royal
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Longtime Golden Girls superfans Sarah Royal and Lauren Kelly rewatch the series from beginning to end from a "scholarly" perspective, analyzing cultural themes, storylines, and why so many people still love the show decades after its finale originally aired.
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There's a hurricane a-coming! Specifically, Hurricane Saturday, NBC's epic crossover event. This episode features the McKinley Lighthouse (RIP), poor Gloria (literally), Stan and FiFi, Bea Arthur's real-life son, and so much more. You'll love it, or our names aren't Dan and Morothy.
We're back!! In this one, Rose goes out with a jerk who dates men and women, Blanche tries to deflower a priest, and we see young Dorothy, young Stan, and a red-headed Sophia! Not a top-tier episode, but lots to discuss!
In the last episode before our summer hiatus, we explore a clown-fearing mama's boy and Stan's transference of his mother's love and rejection to Sophia. Enjoy it with a cake that's sweetened with natural fruit juices & some moist tea!
Sophia eats some cantaloupe and pretends to be possessed by Charlie in a mean joke that really damages Rose's relationship with Miles (who, btw, is back from Amish Country and still going by Miles). Meanwhile, Blanche coaches Stevie, a baseball player with some unconventional methods, and Dorothy writes a letter to her dead father. PS. It's pride month! Support your local drag queen (and their baseball team)!
Dorothy is putting together a family history for her grandkids and learns, despite Sophia's best efforts, that her mother was betrothed to a man named Guido! Huge reveal! Meanwhile, good two shoes Rose calls the City on Blanche when she plans to install a hot tub.
Sophia sneezed and blew herself off a stool, resulting in two sprained ankles! Dorothy hires a nurse, and while she resists at first, Sophia becomes quite fond of her (not in that way). Meanwhile, Blanche parades her grandaughter around at a child beauty pageant where not a one kid seems to be having fun and one might actually set herself on fire.
The Girls head to the Maltese Falcon Club to participate in a Murder Mystery Weekend. Blanche is competing against Posey McGlinn for a promotion, and also maybe a romantic relationship with her boss? Sophia cops an entire place set, Dorothy solves the mystery, and Rose not only figures out what a maître d' is, but also gets back at Blanche for stealing her earrings! What a load of fun!
We're back and we're entering the final season! Dorothy needs a hearing aid, Sophia might be a Jew for Jesus, and Charlie may have slept with Blanche Elizabeth Devereaux while he was visiting Miami.
The sky is falling and we're closing out Season 6 on top! Rose, Dorothy, and Blanche, 68 (and dead!) star in an elementary school production of Henny Penny narrated by a Robin Hood-clad Sophia. Meanwhile, Blanche tries to get Chugger Dietz to print a retraction on an obituary that does not result in the outpouring of grief one would expect.
Nyquill shooters & a hotplate, a recipe for disaster! Sophia is under arrest when a deathbed confession implicates her in the Shady Pines fire. The rest of the girls reminisce while trying to work through an impossible situation.
Blanche Devereaux's going on a diet....again. The girls participate in a bachelorette auction, the crown jewel of 90s sitcom plots. Uncle Angelo is back in town, and thanks to the timely death of Stan's own uncle, Dorothy is able to offer him an apartment in his hour of need. The place leaves something to be desired on the hide-and-seek front, but is apparently large enough for a formal party with a long guest list that doesn't include the Big Mean Bug Lady.
Hi Dorothy, Bye Dorothy. Blanche Devereaxu's goin on a diet. Blanche purges the kitchen of all sweet and salty treats as she tries to fit back into her wedding dress. Rose and Sophia, in different ways, make this all the more difficult. Meanwhile, Certified Golden Girls Hunk™, John Noretti is in Miami and he and Dorothy share an enchanted evening and rehash old memories.
A rabbi, a mobster, and a copy in a dress walk into a house...
In this one, Rose is dating the Cheeseman! Miles comes back as an Amish windmill maker, and Blanche tries her yankee-doodle-dandiest to get into a club full of racist old white ladies. It's a hilarious, whacky ride.
When Dorothy struggles to connect with the kids in her honors progrum, Sophia tells her she was the brightest kid in Brooklyn™ growing up and it goes straight to her head. Speaking of State Fairs, Blanche's ego inflates until its bursts when a young actor mistakes her for Aurora's mother. It's grand..just grand.
Cat show? Dog show.
Rose pursues a new career as a news reporter, but she's better with a hairbrush. Meanwhile, Blanche's perfect arrangement with Mel Bushman gets shaken up when she fears the Zipper King has died, finds out he hasn’t, and then seeks to complicate their “relationship.”
Dorothy is in cahoots with the manager of Cyrpus Grove to trick Sophia into believing she's there to be something between an employee and a volunteer when really, she's a guest! Meanwhile, Rose and Blanche get a modeling gig for a penny saver that turns out to be less glamorous than they expected. We'd sue!
Dorothy and Stan have been sneaking around and no one bothered to ask Sophia aka the Godfather. The old flames decide to get married, again, not in the presence of their children or grandchildren, but under the instruction of a no-nonsense wedding planner and famed attorney Marvin Mitchelson. Surprise, it doesn't work out! Meanwhile, Rose is stalked and harassed by Myra, whose weapon of choice is a crustacean!
What was supposed to be an enjoyable evening of Miles reading poetry to celebrate that nose-nipper, Robert Frost, goes totally awry when news breaks that The Cheeseman, a mob boss, has been killed. Through a series of small reveals that don't make a ton of sense, Miles comes clean as Nicholas Carbone, shrimp lover and snitch in a tie.
Valentine's Day is right around the corner, and what better way to celebrate than with Clayton and Doug's engagement! Blanche struggles with accepting her brother as gay...again, but with the help of the rest of the girls, comes around eventually. Meanwhile, Rose loses an award to a dead woman.
Our interview with Elliot Powell: https://www.enoughwicker.com/post/okie-dokie-daddio-sex-gender-jazz-in-the-golden-girls
Alok: https://www.alokvmenon.com/
Rose wants Miles to jump out of an air-a-plane to prove he loves her. Blanche is dating Rex Huntington, an abusive dirtbag who treats her terribly, and Dorothy decides to intervene. It takes Blanche a minute to come around, but luckily she sees the light. Meanwhile, Dorothy and Sophia work on the famous lunar landing puzzle.
All of The Golden Girls Villains, Ranked, with illustrations from Wicker Good Memes is here: https://www.enoughwicker.com/post/all-of-the-golden-girls-villains-ranked
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Loving these! Thanks Lauren & Sarah!