DiscoverEverything Happens with Kate Bowler
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Everything Happens with Kate Bowler
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© 2024 Everything Happens Studios
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Are you living your best life now? Not always? This is a podcast for you. Duke Professor Kate Bowler is an expert in the stories we tell about success and failure, suffering and happiness. She had Stage IV cancer. Then she didn’t. And since then, all she wants to do is talk to funny and wise people about how to live with the knowledge that, well, everything happens. Find her online at @katecbowler.
Sales and Distribution by Lemonada Media https://lemonadamedia.com/
Sales and Distribution by Lemonada Media https://lemonadamedia.com/
173 Episodes
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So much of modern culture emphasizes success, hard work, and ambition. But what if we don’t conquer every problem or reach every mountaintop? How do you live with the hunger for more while letting yourself have limits and be tired and say no and shut it down too?
In this conversation, Kate and Emma Gannon discuss:
Why ambition isn’t necessarily a bad thing
How Emma reacted to a season of severe burnout and what wisdom she has for all of us
How bucket lists can inadvertently place us in a game we are never going to win (Psst… It’s okay to simmer down a bit)
Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here or visiting katebowler.com/podcasts.
Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler. Links to social pages and more available at linktr.ee/katecbowler.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
These are uncertain times for so many of us.
But, according to writer Maggie Jackson, perhaps there is deep wisdom to be uncovered too—surprising gifts of curiosity, creative thinking, open-mindedness, and ways forward through the (often) unpredictabilities of life.
In this conversation, Kate and Maggie Discuss:
How uncertainty might foster creativity, resilience, and mutual understanding
Why we avoid ambiguity and a few small steps to help us become more comfortable with not knowing
How the practices of imagination and perspective-taking can help us see the potential in others
Why focusing on outcomes can close you off from picking up new information, nuance, or other peoples' perspectives
Why experiences contrary to our beliefs take longer, sometimes even weeks, to process
Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here or visiting katebowler.com/podcasts.
Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler. Links to social pages and more available at linktr.ee/katecbowler.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
We don’t usually have repeat guests on this podcast… except we’re making an exception for the wonderful and wise Alan Alda. Alan Alda, of course, is an award-winning actor, writer, director, and podcast host. You probably know and love him as Hawkeye on M*A*S*H or Senator Arnie Vinick on The West Wing. He is endlessly curious on just about every topic—which makes him the perfect person to talk to about empathy, learning across differences (and disagreement), and how we might age into new hobbies and careers.
In this conversation, Alan and Kate discuss:
Tricks for staying curious as we age
How to talk to someone you disagree with
How Alan hopes to destigmatize Parkinson’s Disease
The difference between empathy and compassion and how to practice these important skills
Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here.
Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
When we are in deep grief, we can anticipate some of the horrible parts—the sleeplessness, the denial, the loneliness. But what about the moments of surprising lightness and joy? Moments that don’t erase the pain, but make it a bit more bearable. Academy Award-nominated actor Richard E. Grant practices finding these pockets of happiness while grieving his beloved wife.
In this conversation, Kate and Richard talk about:
the gritty side of caregiving
how to support people in grief (even when it makes you uncomfortable)
the importance of knowing and being known
Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here.
Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
How do you have faith that can hold all of reality—the beautiful, the terrible, and everything in-between? The TODAY Show’s Savannah Guthrie thinks carefully about this question, especially given that her job is reporting the news every morning.
In this conversation, Kate and Savannah discuss:
Savannah’s trick for handling difficult news every day
How to adjust the dial on fear and hope when there is so much to be afraid of
Making sense of the wisdom we can learn in the midst of difficult times—without saying ‘everything happens for a reason’ (because we would never do that to you)
How we hope to be transformed by God’s love
Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here.
Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Do you ever look back at your childhood and go… certainly that didn’t happen like that? Where were the adults? Academy Award-winning director and childhood actress Sarah Polley describes what it was like to not be believed when she was afraid or when she wanted to stop or when she was in pain or when she was in danger. And how, as adults, we can all better protect those around us and learn to look back on our younger selves with compassion.
How hard it can be to believe our own memories or pain
When kids aren’t protected by the adults in their life and how they make sense of that as adults
Managing invisible illnesses
How we can better support those going through chronic illness with compassion
Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here.
Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Today, we’re talking about tragicomedy. And isn’t that all of life? The absurdity. The horror. The laughter that somehow cuts through the most difficult of moments. Our guest today, Stephanie Wittles Wachs wrote a beautiful memoir called Everything is Horrible and Wonderful about the death of her brother to an accidental heroin overdose when he was 30 years old.
In this conversation, Kate and Stephanie discuss:
Loving someone with addiction
Grieving a person in public
Why it’s okay (and maybe necessary) to laugh in the midst of the worst moments
The 6th stage of grief—the manic-investigative stage
CW: mention of suicide, drug overdose, death of a sibling
Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here.
Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Today, we have a little bonus episode to kick off your weekend. Vivek Murthy, the current U.S. Surgeon General, had so much wisdom to offer us in this week's conversation on combatting loneliness and building better relationships. In this bonus clip, he offers us a little pep talk for connection. It may be just what you need to hear.
Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
A basketball coach, a doctor, and a history professor walk into a bar….
This might be the start of a great joke OR the start of an episode of Everything Happens.
In this conversation, Kate Bowler speaks with Duke Men’s Basketball Coach, Jon Scheyer and the current US Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy. Together they discuss:
What is ailing Americans (especially young people)—loneliness (and why it can be so embarrassing to admit)
Practical tips to connecting with others
The usefulness and pitfalls of social media use
This conversation was taped live at Duke University as part of the Surgeon General’s We Are Made to Connect Tour. A huge thank you to Chris Simmons, the Office of Student Affairs, and the Office of the US Surgeon General for making this possible.
Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here.
Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
We are kicking off Season 12 of the Everything Happens Podcast (!!) with a little bonus situation because we’re having a little bonus moment. Kate’s new book HAVE A BEAUTIFUL, TERRIBLE DAY! Is available everywhere books are sold today.
It is a book of daily meditations meant to ground whatever day you’re having—all of the ups and downs and inbetweens. And who better to talk about that with than my friend, Bob Crawford. Bob is the bass player for the wildly popular band The Avett Brothers, and someone who knows too well how terrible and beautiful life can be.
In this conversation, Kate and Bob discuss:
How there can be a strange comfort in our worst moments
How they continued despite the ongoingness of their kinds of tragedies
Why they both long for more spiritual language around living like this
Everything Happens is brought to you by Cologuard®. Are you 45 or older? Start screening for colon cancer with Cologuard, an effective and noninvasive screening option for adults 45 and older at average risk for colon cancer. Rx only. Learn more at Cologuard.com/everything
Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here.
Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Today, we are re-airing one of our favorite episodes.
Beth Moore has been in the limelight for almost thirty years, but during that time, she revealed very little about her formative family history. Now, this world-famous Bible teacher is ready to tell her story for the first time.
In this episode, Kate and Beth discuss:
How Beth’s faith offered stability during a very unpredictable and unstable childhood
The complicated grief that occurs when family members cause deep, unforgivable harm
What it means to be fully known (and why that feels better than anything else)
Beth’s long-faithfulness despite experiencing rejection, pain, and hurt from her faith community
This was Beth’s first interview about her new memoir, and Kate felt so honored to get to ask this wise soul about the role of faith in lives that haven’t worked out like we thought they should.
CW: sexual abuse, mental illness.
Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.
Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or X.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Today, we are re-airing one of our favorite episodes.
Bryan Stevenson (founder of the Equal Justice Initiative) is committed to ending mass incarceration and excessive punishment, to challenging racial and economic injustice, and to protecting basic human rights for the most vulnerable among us.
In this episode, Kate and Bryan discuss:
The hope that motivates Bryan in this slow, sometimes frustrating work of justice
What it means to be a ‘stonecatcher’ (and why it serves both the one being condemned and the one doing the condemning)
The power of forgiveness, maybe especially toward those who don’t deserve it
CW: discussion of slavery, lynching, and other racist violence, death row
Looking for the transcript or show notes? Click here.
Find Kate on Instagram or Facebook or X. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Living in uncertainty can lead to a sense of languishing. How do we wake up from this feeling?
Katherine May has written gorgeous books like Wintering and Enchantment that help us better understand how to live wide-awake to the world around us.
In this conversation, Kate and Katherine discuss:
How we move from languishing to enchantment
Why we need community more now than maybe ever
Why we both hate gratitude journals
Everything Happens is brought to you by Cologuard®. Are you 45 or older? Start screening for colon cancer with Cologuard, an effective and noninvasive screening option for adults 45 and older at average risk for colon cancer. Rx only. Learn more at Cologuard.com/everything
Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here.
Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Bozoma Saint John is a successful marketing executive, but she is also a woman who knows the rollercoaster of profound love and deep loss. She shares her hard-won wisdom and complicated grief as she faced her husband’s terminal cancer diagnosis.
In this conversation, Kate and Bozoma:
Give us permission to tell the whole truth (even when it isn’t a neat)
Speak honestly about the complicated realities of caregiving
Discuss how our roles change within families from daughter to parent or spouse to caregiver
Describe anticipatory grief
CW: adult language, death of a child during pregnancy, death of a spouse
Everything Happens is brought to you by Cologuard®. Are you 45 or older? Start screening for colon cancer with Cologuard, an effective and noninvasive screening option for adults 45 and older at average risk for colon cancer. Rx only. Learn more at Cologuard.com/everything
Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here.
Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In this conversation, Kate and Anna discuss:
How conversations might engender the intimacy we need to get by
Fostering the right interpersonal and listening skills it takes to approach a difficult topic (especially when you’re feeling nervous)
Best practices for responding to someone’s hard news
How learning to listen might bridge differences of all kinds
What do we lose when we don’t talk about hard things? And what might we gain if we do?
Everything Happens is brought to you by Cologuard®. Are you 45 or older? Start screening for colon cancer with Cologuard, an effective and noninvasive screening option for adults 45 and older at average risk for colon cancer. Rx only. Learn more at Cologuard.com/everything
Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here.
Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Comedian Iliza Shlesinger is refreshingly candid, especially about things many women can relate to, like the sheer exhaustion that comes from juggling life's demands (dare we say, it's like a badge of honor?), pregnancy loss—a topic that often remains in the shadows, and how our accounts of self-care really go off the rails when bubble baths become the solution to all of life’s problems.
In this conversation, Kate and Iliza address:
A plan to make laughter a national healthcare plan (just kidding)
How comedy connects us with one another
Redefining self-care into something a little more practical
This conversation is brought to you by Aspen Ideas: Health and was recorded on location in Aspen, CO.
CW: miscarriage
Everything Happens is brought to you by Cologuard®. Are you 45 or older? Start screening for colon cancer with Cologuard, an effective and noninvasive screening option for adults 45 and older at average risk for colon cancer. Rx only. Learn more at Cologuard.com/everything
Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here.
Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
How do you think about faith and hope when your prayers aren’t answered? What about when they are?
Steph and her husband, Rivs, have the kind of story you might see in a blockbuster movie. Rivs was a professional endurance athlete who was suddenly put on life support with a mysterious lung disease. But then a confluence of shocking events occurred to get him the care he needed to survive.
Steph grew up as part of the Church of Latter Day Saints, a faith that believed that if she prayed hard enough, miracles would happen. But then her dad died when she was 14. So how does she understand faith and hope and miracles after Rivs' survival?
In this conversation, Kate and Steph discuss:
How do you talk to kids honestly about life and death and hope?
How pain is a conduit for empathy
How to allow things to just suck and not feel pressure to find any brightsides
How to think about faith, hope, and miracles without idolizing certainty
Steph is someone who knows intimately that life sometimes just happens and that we have to learn to live alongside all of that pain and that joy and that love that somehow coexists.
CW: cancer, death of a parent
Everything Happens is brought to you by Cologuard®. Are you 45 or older? Start screening for colon cancer with Cologuard, an effective and noninvasive screening option for adults 45 and older at average risk for colon cancer. Rx only. Learn more at Cologuard.com/everything
Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here.
Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Don’t Waste Your Life. Savor Every Moment. Live in the Present.
Culture has a lot of prescriptions for how to live a good life. But what if we don’t know where to start? Writer and researcher Catherine Price started to notice how much time she was spending on her phone and how the habit was sucking joy from her life. Instead, she wanted to learn how to have fun again. What is fun? How do you have it? Can you become a more fun person? Catherine debunks the myths around what it means to have fun—especially when we think we’re too tired, too careworn, or too old—and gives us a little homework to start today.
In this conversation, Kate and Catherine discuss:
How to break up with your phone (and why we turn to our phones in the first place)
How to create more opportunities for fun in the midst of regular days and too-full lives
The simple practice Catherine uses to bring more joy to her days
Everything Happens is brought to you by Cologuard®. Are you 45 or older? Start screening for colon cancer with Cologuard, an effective and noninvasive screening option for adults 45 and older at average risk for colon cancer. Rx only. Learn more at Cologuard.com/everything
Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here.
Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Margaret Renkl calls herself a backyard naturalist—but not because she has any particular expertise. From the birds in her yard to the bugs in her flower beds, she has learned the art of attention. Nature has taught her a speed at which to live, to hope, to stave off despair.
In this conversation, Kate and Margaret discuss:
What we miss when we imagine we have to drive somewhere else to experience nature, instead of noticing it around us
What birds teach us about what means to be a good mother
How to learn to love even the mosquitoes and wasps
Where Margaret experiences moments of holiness
How we might all start to be besotted by beauty
Perhaps, we can borrow some of Margaret’s innate curiosity together and see how it might open us up to wonder and love and connectedness once again.
Everything Happens is brought to you by Cologuard®. Are you 45 or older? Start screening for colon cancer with Cologuard, an effective and noninvasive screening option for adults 45 and older at average risk for colon cancer. Rx only. Learn more at Cologuard.com/everything
Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here.
Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
We may think we understand people. Where they are coming from. Why they act the way they act. … But what if we’re wrong?
New York Times columnist David Brooks’ family motto was “Think Yiddish, Act British.” He knew how to keep a tight lid on his emotions, which could be useful… until he realized that he would need to learn a lot more about the role of empathy to love the people around him. Now, he’s sharing the result of his curiosity on how we might get better at really knowing people. Perhaps that simple skill can help combat the loneliness, despair, and the divides in our social fabric.
In this conversation, Kate and David discuss:
How to love people with severe depression
How to see people as beloved children of God
Practicing intimacy and empathy
The difference between illuminators and diminishers
CW: suicide
Everything Happens is brought to you by Cologuard®. Are you 45 or older? Start screening for colon cancer with Cologuard, an effective and noninvasive screening option for adults 45 and older at average risk for colon cancer. Rx only. Learn more at Cologuard.com/everything
Watch clips from this conversation, read the full transcript, and access discussion questions by clicking here.
Follow Kate on Instagram, Facebook, or X (formerly known as Twitter)—@katecbowler.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
I can't imagine losing a young child, but man, to compare it to someone losing a beloved parent you've had your entire life - might be one reason people dont want to listen to your grief. It's a lot more nuanced than the age of the deceased. Comparison doesn't heal anything. We're all hurting for many reasons
Thank you for such uplifting, meaningful, deep conversations. I feel so good inside, gain so much perspective on life. Take care x
wonderfully delightful!
Worth a second listen... hard-won wisdom.
love this! so delightful
What an excellent podcast on caring for others truly. Thank you for educating me.
I love your podcasts but for some reason I can't get any of them more recent than November 30th! Help!
the only extra thing I wish were discussed was how to deal with the sometimes hurtful comments that come from the world around when you start to let go.
Oh, I loved this episode.
Lovely conversation <3
The book is great--if you haven't read it you should. The show is wonderful.
you guys have cute rituals for when you are tired of your husband's. I usually just shout divorce and leave for a while. then, we don't ever talk about it again. you guys are so healthy.
I wish more of us did the "absurd" thing to do. Although I wonder if life in the western world is actually absurd and taking delight in an abstract interest is actually not absurd at all?
This is the first episode I've listened to. It won't be the last. Great show. Lots to think about. Thank you.
this was such a lovely episode. I think for me, it will help most with the guilt and shame I currently feel. im a stay at home mom and I know that at this point, this vocation has a shelf life. im 4 years away from sending my youngest off to kindergarten. I would love to go to school or find a new career but no desire is there yet to even steer toward a direction. I feel like I am not listening hard enough or im being punished or I am just not good enough. but I will console myself that maybe God has not revealed that direction yet. I will wait to respond. I will continue to have conversation in prayer.
loved this episode. the discussion on being carried versus self made has really resonated with me. I have tried not to depend on anyone my whole life and I have been taught to do so. I also constantly feel socially awkward so I avoid people as much as I can just to escape my own awkward feelings. With a cross country move, unemployment and a surprise baby, I find myself unable to rely on myself. I feel like a failure, I feel like I don't want anyone to do me a kindness because I could never pay it back, but this episode reminds me that maybe I am being carried. maybe I am just discovering community. thank you.
A month ago my best friend lost her brother to cancer, leaving behind his wife and 3 young children. And while I'm not her, nor can I even begin to relate, I grieve for her. I've appreciated this podcast and this episode particularly as someone who just wants to love on someone who is going thru something shitty. It's okay to not be okay but I'm grateful for where it brings a person and friendship to also. 💕
What a great conversation between two great thinkers who are great friends. As a flawed human with chronic depression I found what you had to say refreshing and a different view of manynideas that I have heard but not fully absorbed before. Thank you Kate and greetings from Brisbane, Australia 🌻😊
Just listened to your segment with Emily McDowell ... there's no good card for that. I think you don't want to hear any more free associations but I'll just say something terrible happened in our family and I could totally relate to your advice, just be there.
I'm not sure if this is useful to you, but I found your podcast after reading this article today: Hope Isn’t Just About the Future https://nyti.ms/2GHHfjG Strength to you!