Evolutionary Men

In this episode I bring on my friend and practicing couples therapist Ryan Ginn to break down what separates great couples therapy from a waste of your time and money. If you've ever felt like you and your partner were just venting to a silent witness every session, or you're trying to figure out where to even start looking for the right fit, this one's for you.Ryan and I get into the leadership quality you want from a therapist, why nervous system training matters way more than just talking about your problems, and how to know when it's time to find someone new. We also cover the trap of litigating the past, what it means to actually train your relational capacity in session, and the willingness both partners need to bring for any of it to work.Learn more about Ryan at https://ryanginn.com and https://www.beingmen.net/Lead your relationship with more depth in my Pillars of Presence programReconnect, Repair, and Reignite your relationship at via 12 Epic Dates and Evolutionary Couples

In this episode I'm joined by Dr. Luke Adler, my co-facilitator in the Heart of Shadow program, to dive into shadow work for one of the most common struggles I see in men: knowing what you feel but not being able to say it. That chasm between awareness and expression, between what's happening inside and actually moving sound through your body and into a conversation. We break down why so many of us freeze when it matters most and what's actually underneath that freeze.We explore the origin stories of why our nervous systems learned to lock things up in the first place, the difference between vulnerability and transparency, and why a men's group is often the only place where you can finally practice bringing yourself forward in a way that actually sticks. If you've ever had words stuck in your throat with a partner, struggled to have a hard conversation, or just felt like something is blocked between what you know and what you can say, this one's for you.Join the next Heart of Shadow cohort at https://heartofshadow.com

In this episode I'm joined by Dr. Luke Adler to explore how shadow work can transform your sex life. We dig into why so many men use ejaculation as their primary emotional release tool and what happens when sex becomes responsible for making us feel better. We unpack the connection between safety, relaxation, and arousal, and why performance anxiety often stems from deeper places we don't want to look at. We also explore what shifts when sex becomes an expression of connection rather than a destination to escape to. If you've ever wondered why "better sex" isn't about technique, this one's for you.Shadow work creates the capacity to feel more, stay present, and stop using sex to discharge what we haven't learned to process. When we release our partners from the burden of managing our emotional lives, something opens up. And when we have a group of men to hold our vulnerability, we stop needing our intimate relationships to do all that work. The path to better sex runs through your gut, your heart, and the shadows you've been avoiding.Join the next Heart of Shadow cohort at heartofshadow.comWatch on Youtube

In this episode my wife Violet and I break down why your relationship can’t always be sunny and perfect—and why that’s actually a good thing. We walk through the four seasons of relationships and the reality of how different parts of your partnership can be in completely different seasons at the same time. Your sex life might be in spring while your emotional connection is in winter, and not knowing that can keep you confused about what’s actually going wrong.If you’ve ever wondered why the spark faded or why connection feels harder than it used to, this episode will help you understand what’s actually happening—and what to do about it before you lose years to autopilot.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​Join our free connection date night for couples at https://evolutionarycouples.us/evolutionofusLearn more about our programs Evolutionary Couples and 12 Epic Dates at https://evolutionarycouples.us

In this episode Luke and I dive into the shadow of worry and rumination that keeps so many men trapped in their heads. We break down why living from the shoulders up isn't strength, it's avoidance. You'll hear about the subtle ways fear masquerades as logic, how productivity can become procrastination, and why jacking off might be your nervous system's go-to discharge pattern. We get into the real work of traversing from your head to your heart to your guts, and why community isn't optional for this journey.Find out about the next Heart of Shadow Men's Group and retreat at https://evolutionary.men/heartofshadow

In this episode my wife Violet and I share the five scariest moments in our relationship. These weren't just hard conversations or minor disagreements, but the moments where both of us genuinely questioned whether we'd make it, whether we'd chosen the right partner, or whether we were trapped in patterns we couldn't escape. We get specific about what actually happened, the deep fears underneath each crisis, and the exact moves that allowed us to work through the terror instead of letting it end things.If you've ever had that gut-punch moment in your relationship where you think "is this it, is this over?" then listen in! Every long-term couple hits these inflection points where fear can either derail everything or become the catalyst for deeper trust and connection. Tune in to learn how we did it, what we'd do differently, and why these scary moments became some of the most important turning points in building a relationship that actually works.Join our FREE CONNECTION DATE NIGHT for couples at https://evolutionarycouples.us/evolutionofusGo on 12 Epic Dates and/or do the Evolutionary Couples program at https://evolutionarycouples.us

In this episode I explore why so many good men still feel a quiet emptiness even when life looks full. We get into what’s really underneath the loneliness men carry today, and how brotherhood, real connection with men who both see you and call you higher, brings life back into your system.This isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about remembering what makes you come alive again.Join a men's group at https://mens.group now

In this episode I sit down with Karen McMahon, a high-conflict divorce strategist who's been guiding men and women through one of the most painful transitions of their lives since 2010. Karen specializes in working with nice guys who are stuck in volatile marriages, paralyzed by guilt about leaving their kids or fear that their partner will harm themselves if they go. We dig into why staying in an unhealthy marriage actually teaches your kids that conflict and disconnection are what intimate love looks like, how the legal system often fails men, and the specific inner work that's required to navigate divorce without losing yourself in the process. Karen breaks down the difference between codependent caretaking and healthy boundaries, why so many men struggle with receiving, and how breaking generational chains starts with you doing your healing work now. Learn more about Karen's Journey Beyond Divorce offerings at https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/ Join a Men's Group: Men's Group Experience at https://evolutionary.men/mens-group-experience Pillars of Presence at https://evolutionary.men/pillars-of-presence The Heart of Shadow at https://evolutionary.men/heartofshadow

In this episode I break down one of the most powerful investments you can make in yourself as a man: your social capital. Most men grind through life alone, trying to figure everything out by themselves, and it's killing us. The antidote is simple but countercultural: a men's group, a circle of guys you meet with regularly who actually give a shit about you and your life.I introduce the metaphor of shock absorbers to explain what this kind of community actually does for you when life gets rocky. Tune in to learn why the sooner you start building these relationships the bigger the dividends over time, and why this type of connection is something that can never be bought, only built.Want support starting or deepening your own men’s group journey? Checkout mens.group or heartofshadow.comLike the Podcast? Join the Discussion Community at evolutionary.men/discuss

In this episode, Luke and I dive into what's really behind male depression. We explore why the things men typically do to feel better often make the stuckness worse, and then reveal the powerful connection between depression and unexpressed anger. Luke goes deeper and breaks down the physiology of depression from a Chinese medicine perspective setting the stage for how shadow work in men's groups can be a powerful medicine for metabolizing depression.Join the next Heart of Shadow Men's Group and Retreat at heartofshadow.com

In this episode I dive into the hidden roots of nice guy syndrome along with my Heart of Shadow co-facilitator Dr. Luke Adler. We explore how being a "nice guy" is actually one of six primitive nervous system survival responses rooted in fear of losing connection. Luke and I share vulnerable stories about how this shows up and why shadow work is the real pathway out.We break down why cognitive strategies aren't enough and how the consistent presence of loving masculine energy through men's groups becomes the medicine that allows nice guys to drop the people-pleasing patterns and reclaim their authentic power.Break free from your nice guy syndrome and join the Heart of Shadow Men's Group and Retreat (https://heartofshadow.com)Like the Podcast? Join the Discussion Community (https://evolutionary.men/discuss)

In this episode I break down the three types of disconnection that are crushing men right now and leading to depression, stuckness, and a sense that something's just off in life. I walk through what each of these disconnections looks like, why they're so common, and most importantly, what men can actually do to reconnect and start feeling alive again.If you're feeling stuck, depressed, or like you're just going through the motions, this episode will help you figure out what's really going on and give you a clear path forward.Get Connected to self, other, and nature at the Evolutionary Men Labor Day Retreat (https://evolutionary.men/retreat/)Join the Heart of Shadow Men's Group and Retreat (https://heartofshadow.com)Join the virtual Men's Group Experience 12 week men's group (https://mens.group)Like the Podcast? Join the Discussion Community (https://evolutionary.men/discuss)

In this episode I chat with naturalist and poet Roy Arthur Blodgett to face what men inherit: numbness, isolation, and a grim overculture of masculinity. We get into men and land, how the wild helped Roy feel most himself, and what shifts when we stop spectating and start participating. We talk land literacy, seeing patterns of succession, the fear of causing harm that keeps men frozen, and the power of choosing responsibility anyway.Follow Roy at www.royarthurblodgett.comJoin me and Roy and get your hands dirty with some land work at the next Evolutionary Men Labor Day Retreat at https://evolutionary.men/retreat/Then face the shadows of your lineage in the next Heart of Shadow Men's Group & Retreat at https://evolutionary.men/heartofshadow/

In this episode, I get personal and share about my top 16 moments that I've gotten to experience that's to men's work, all stemming from men's groups, retreats, and community (and in no particular order).These are all experiences that have enriched my life beyond measure, and were all possible because of the depth of connection I've cultivated with incredible men in my life.Start building your band of brothers and come to the Evolutionary Men Labor Day Retreat at https://evolutionary.men/retreatThen go even deeper with the Heart of Shadow Men's Group & Retreat at https://evolutionary.men/heartofshadow

In this episode, Luke and I explore the complex narratives surrounding masculinity, particularly the idea of victimhood among men. We dig into the cultural reflections of masculinity, the evolution of men's roles, and the importance of shadow work in reclaiming agency and responsibility from the oh so alluring victim masculinity being sold these days.Join the Heart of Shadow Men's Group & Retreat at heartofshadow.comAttend the Evolutionary Men Labor Day Retreat at evolutionary.men/retreat

In this episode, I dive into what I believe is the new standard for powerful men: taking responsibility for our pain. Whether it’s personal, ancestral, or collective, owning our wounds is what separates conscious men from those stuck in blame or avoidance. I explore how trauma lives in the nervous system, how patterns are passed down through generations, and why the work of healing, though uncomfortable, is ultimately the path to true power, presence, and leadership. 

In this episode, I sit down with my longtime brother and mentor Ted Riter for a conversation that goes straight into the heart of sacred masculinity, grief, and transformation. Ted is a former rabbi turned spiritual guide and relationship coach who brings over 30 years of wisdom into the space of men’s work, intimacy, and embodiment.We explore how a collapse in his life led him to the very work he now teaches—how grief, shame, and mistrust of men became gateways into deeper integrity, love, and purpose. Ted shares how his lineage ultimately became a foundation for the spiritual and relational depth he offers today. We also chat about the sacredness of men’s circles, the difference between nice and loving challenge, and why decentralization and shared responsibility are the future of men’s groups.Connect with Ted:Website: tedriter.comInstagram: @tedridertalksGET INVOLVED WITH EVOLUTIONARY MENJoin our LIVE retreat: August 28th – September 1st in Northern California. You’ll walk away deeply embodied in your power, more connected to other men, and nourished by great food and inspiring nature. Head over ​to book your spot now​.Want support starting or deepening your own men’s group journey? Checkout ​Men’s Group Experience​ or ​The Heart of Shadow​Learn the foundations of masculine presence and remove your blocks to polarity via our ​Pillars of Presence​ programLike the Podcast? Join the Discussion Community at ​here

In this episode I unpack why mastering sexy hacks like alpha-drops and breath orgasms is just the tip of the iceberg. I explore how childhood attachment wounds, body neglect, and unprocessed relational pain set the real limits on your erotic charge, and I explain why the hard, unsexy healing work—therapy, men’s groups, shadow work, and nervous-system rehab—is the game-changer for lasting safety, trust, and deep connection.Join our LIVE retreat: August 28th – September 1st in Northern California. You’ll walk away deeply embodied in your power, more connected to other men, and nourished by great food and inspiring nature. Head over ​to book your spot now​.Learn the foundations of masculine presence and remove your blocks to polarity via our ​Pillars of Presence​ programWant support starting or deepening your own men’s group journey? Checkout ​Men’s Group Experience​ or ​The Heart of Shadow​Like the Podcast? Join the Discussion Community at ​here

In this episode, I explore four core capacities every man needs to start cultivating to stay vital and grounded in an AI-powered world. This isn’t science fiction—AI is already shaping how we live, relate, and make choices. I talk about the rising influence of automation, and four essential tools for thriving as a man in the world that is now here. If you want to stay human, creative, and trustworthy in a culture increasingly driven by AI, listen in now.Get offline and the build these capacities at the Evolutionary Men Labor Day Retreat. August 28th - September 1st in Northern California. You'll walk away deeply embodied in your power, more connected to other men, and nourished by great food and inspiring nature. Head over to https://evolutionary.men/retreat to book your spot now.

Shame isn’t something to get rid of—it’s something to work with. And when we do, it can become one of the most powerful tools for growth, integrity, and connection in a man’s life.In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Keith Witt—psychologist, author, and one of the most seasoned men I’ve had the privilege of learning from—to unpack the deeper function of shame and how it shapes our values, our relationships, and the kind of men we become. We explore how shame, when related to consciously, actually guides us back to our wholeness.But we don’t stop there.We also dive into the developmental arc of the masculine—from boyhood, to acolyte, to warrior, to man of wisdom—and why so many men get stuck along the way. We talk about the power of men’s groups, what creates true ownership and leadership, and why decentralization might just be the key to building lasting brotherhood.Join the next cohort of the Men's Group Experience at https://mens.groupJoin the Heart of Shadow Men's Group & Retreat at https://heartofshadow.comJoin the Evolutionary Men Labor Day retreat at https://evolutionary.men/retreatABOUT DR. KEITH WITTLearn more about Dr. Keith Witt (and get all his books for free!) at https://drkeithwitt.com/