Ex-it Strategy

Elizabeth Stephenson and Sarah J. Hink of New Direction Family Law introduce new attorney Tyler E. Kaestner, who recently moved from Pennsylvania to Raleigh, and discuss key differences between Pennsylvania and North Carolina family law and procedure. They compare divorce timelines and separation requirements (including Pennsylvania’s ability to be “separated” while living in the same home), custody processes using conciliation officers and Zoom conferences, and child support rules such as Pennsylvania’s lack of retroactive child support and use of net income. They also cover easier modification standards in Pennsylvania, shorter alimony durations there versus longer potential awards in North Carolina, North Carolina’s alienation of affection/criminal conversation claims and proposed legislative changes, and major differences in discovery and subpoena procedures. They warn against relying on Google/AI or friends for legal advice, noting AI outputs may be wrong and what you enter into AI may be discoverable.00:00 Child Support Shock00:44 Meet the Attorneys00:58 Tyler Joins the Firm02:21 Divorce Filing Rules03:06 What Counts as Separation04:50 NC Law May Change06:38 Custody Process Differences08:50 Out of State Orders09:53 Child Support Pitfalls12:46 Guidelines Net vs Gross13:40 Modifying Orders Loopholes14:31 Custody Mods Without Change15:42 Mediation Differences16:34 Conference Officer Path17:14 Alimony Rules Compared18:22 Alienation Claims Drama20:22 Affairs and Alimony Bars21:49 Subpoenas and Discovery Shock23:56 AI and Legal Pitfalls25:41 Pro Se TikTok Warnings26:52 Wrap Up and Thanks

Attorneys Elizabeth Stephenson, Sarah J. Hink, and Tyler E. Kaestner of New Direction Family Law talk with mental health professional Fauzia Faizi Shah about complex PTSD and narcissistic personality disorder and how these dynamics commonly surface in separation, divorce, and custody cases. Shah describes narcissistic traits and tactics such as gaslighting (changing someone’s reality), love-bombing and trauma bonding, boundary violations, manipulation, isolation, strength-shaming, and the repeating abuse cycle, and explains how victims may appear depressed or use substances as coping while the narcissistic partner thrives. The conversation focuses on protecting children, who may become “performers” for narcissistic parents, and on educating judges through seasoned evaluations and parenting capacity assessments, recommending supervised visitation when appropriate, therapy for children and the targeted parent, and legal boundaries like structured communication and parenting coordinators. Shah shares that her forthcoming book and online resources address complex PTSD, neurobiology, attachment, and healing.00:00 Kids as Performers00:47 Podcast Introductions01:29 Book on Complex PTSD02:26 Spotting Narcissism03:49 Gaslighting Explained04:31 Trauma Bond Cycle06:16 Abuse and Control07:29 Leaving and Safety07:54 Evaluations and Court14:15 Co Parenting Challenges16:07 Protecting the Children18:01 Courtroom Facades21:41 Custody Battle Tactics22:53 Coping Not Crazy23:32 DV Mental Health Toll24:04 Why It Feels Normal24:56 Neurobiology And Attachment26:32 Lawyer Strategy And Therapy27:35 Breaking Trauma Bonds29:45 Are Narcissists Increasing30:35 Resources And New Book31:37 Complex PTSD Explained32:47 Boundaries And Legal Shields34:33 Final Warnings Love Bombing

Elizabeth Stevenson and Sarah J. Hink of New Direction Family Law, joined by associate attorney Tyler E. Kaestner, interview Veronica Kemeny, a licensed clinical social worker and co-owner of Anchor Perinatal Wellness in Raleigh, during Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month. They discuss perinatal mental health as an inclusive term covering trying to conceive, pregnancy, postpartum (up to two years), and non-birthing partners, and review conditions including depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, bipolar disorder, and psychosis. Kemeny explains warning signs such as impaired functioning and inability to sleep when given the chance, normalizes intrusive thoughts, and emphasizes the importance of trained providers due to stigma and misinterpretation. The conversation covers risk factors, medication concerns, impacts on relationships and divorce/custody cases, and resources like Postpartum Support International, nurse visiting programs, UNC’s perinatal inpatient unit, and Anchor’s intensive program, teletherapy, childcare, and free walk-in maternal mental health clinic at anchorperinatal.com.00:00 UNC Perinatal Units00:43 Meet the Guests01:40 Veronica and Anchor Program03:16 What Perinatal Mental Health Means04:36 When Symptoms Become Serious05:51 Red Flags Sleep and Safety07:20 Intrusive Thoughts and Stigma10:56 Screening and Provider Gaps12:23 Risk Factors and Prevention15:29 Resources Programs and Medication17:36 Social Media Comparison Trap17:52 Finding Realistic Support18:54 Marriage Strain After Baby19:22 Teamwork and Self Care Plan22:17 Sleep Boundaries and Visitors24:28 When to Seek Treatment25:44 Divorce and Custody Bias29:07 Free Nurse Visiting Programs30:25 How to Get Help31:42 Final Takeaways

Attorneys Sarah Hink and Elizabeth Stevenson return from a hiatus on the Exit Strategy podcast to discuss why custody is often the hardest part of divorce and separation, including the emotional challenge of sharing time with children. They explain that in the North Carolina counties where they practice, courts often start from a 50/50 assumption tied to the child’s best interests and a relationship with both parents, then look for reasons to deviate such as domestic violence, substance abuse, mental health concerns, lack of involvement, or inconsistency. They cover tools like temporary arrangements, tiered custody schedules with treatment requirements, reunification therapy, custody/parent fitness evaluations, guardians ad litem, parent coordinators, and parallel parenting. They warn against false abuse claims, alienation, and putting children in the middle, noting records can follow families and even be found online later.00:00 Welcome Back Intro00:20 Why Custody Gets Heated00:43 Facing 50 50 Reality01:57 Courts Start at 50 5002:40 Give Them a Chance03:32 Custody Can Change04:00 Tiered Plans and Reunification05:35 Evaluations and Expert Help06:55 Parallel Parenting Tools07:31 Kids Feel the Conflict08:57 Legal Custody Decision Making09:42 Third Parties Can Sue10:11 Domestic Violence Impact11:10 False Claims Backfire11:56 Online Records and Kids Testifying13:23 Parental Alienation Consequences14:08 Honesty and Realistic Outcomes16:08 Wrap Up and Final Thoughts

Family law attorneys Sarah Hink and Elizabeth Stevenson of New Direction Family Law discuss North Carolina equitable distribution in divorce, emphasizing that most marital property and debt acquired from the date of marriage to the date of separation is typically divided 50/50, regardless of whose name it’s in, with values generally set as of separation. They explain separate property carve-outs (inheritances kept separate, premarital retirement/house interests) and when debts may be treated as separate (not benefiting the marriage). They warn against trying to manipulate accounts or incurring debt right before separation, and note most cases settle in required mediation if parties avoid “nickel-and-diming” personal property. They also highlight practical issues with houses, refinancing, credit risk, and the need to address property claims before an absolute divorce, which can waive equitable distribution rights.00:00 Mediation Pitfalls00:35 Meet the Attorneys00:57 Equitable Distribution Basics02:01 Marital Property Freeze Frame02:33 Unequal Splits and Misconduct03:44 Separate Property Exceptions05:02 Messy Assets and Businesses05:44 DIY Agreements and Prenups06:41 Pets and Personal Property07:17 Mediation and Nickel Dime Fights09:39 Home Values and Letting Go11:32 Debt Division and Credit Risks14:06 Bankruptcy and Final Warnings