Expedition Marriage with Chris & Jamie Bailey

Remember when you were dating—those extra drives across town, late-night phone calls, sweet notes, and the way you rearranged your whole schedule just to be together? Back then, sacrifice felt natural. But somewhere along the way, many couples lose that intentionality. In this episode, we dive into what it means to rediscover sacrificial love in marriage—not as a duty, but as a reflection of Christ's love. From everyday acts of kindness to laying down pride and preferences, we'll unpack why sacrifice is foundational for intimacy, trust, and unity.   💡 What You'll Learn in This Episode Why couples often lose the art of sacrifice after marriage How sacrifice builds trust, intimacy, and a "we" mindset instead of "me vs. you" Practical, everyday ways to reignite sacrificial love The difference between being a doormat and choosing sacrificial love How reflecting Christ's love through sacrifice impacts your marriage, your children, and your witness to the world   📖 Scripture References John 15:12–13 — "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends." Ephesians 5:25 — "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." Romans 5:8 — "But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." John 13:35 — "By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."   🛠️ Practical Takeaways Put your phone down and give your spouse your full attention Do an errand your spouse dislikes Give up a preference to honor theirs Lay down pride and be the first to apologize Pray together even when life is busy   Challenge for the Week: Choose one intentional act of sacrifice—big or small—for your spouse and see how it impacts your connection.

Big change isn't always what your marriage needs. In fact, sometimes the most powerful growth comes from the smallest, most consistent choices. In this episode, we talk about how to move the needle forward in your relationship—just 1% at a time—without the pressure of perfection.   💡 What You'll Learn in This Episode Why the pressure to fix everything at once leaves couples feeling stuck The power of compounding small actions and how they can transform your marriage over time How lofty expectations of perfection can sabotage intimacy Why it's essential to address sin like pride, anger, or bitterness—rather than just covering it up with good habits What "moving the needle" might look like practically in your home How to let go of guilt and shame and replace them with God's daily mercies   🛠️ Practical Takeaways Choose one small thing to do better this week (listen more attentively, speak a word of encouragement, offer a small act of service, say "I'm sorry"). Remember: consistency, not perfection, creates change.   🎯 Resources & Next Steps If this episode encouraged you, we'd love for you to: Share it with a friend. Leave us a review—it helps other couples find hope and practical help Visit ExpeditionMarriage.org for free resources 👉 And if you're ready for a guided plan to help you rebuild intimacy, safety, and connection in your marriage, check out our Restoring Connection Plan. As a special thank-you for listening, you can get 20% off using the code PODCAST20: Click here to grab your plan

When your marriage is in a painful season, joy might feel like the last thing on your mind. But what if those small, lighthearted moments are not only possible—but essential for healing? In this episode, we're talking about why joy still matters in marriage, even when things hurt. You'll discover how laughter, rest, and simply enjoying each other can soften hearts, reduce tension, and remind your relationship that hope is not lost.   What You'll Learn in This Episode The reality of pain in marriage and how the brain processes emotional hurt as real and exhausting. Why joy is medicine—how laughter, fun, and rest release chemicals that calm stress and build safety. Biblical wisdom on joy, including Proverbs 17:22 ("A cheerful heart is good medicine") and Nehemiah 8:10 ("The joy of the Lord is your strength"). Practical ways to bring joy back—from watching a funny movie to taking a break from "working" on everything and just being together. How choosing joy and rest builds resilience and reminds you that healing is still possible.   Scripture Encouragement Proverbs 17:22 – "A cheerful heart is good medicine." Nehemiah 8:10 – "The joy of the Lord is your strength." Psalm 16:11 – "In Your presence there is fullness of joy."     Call to Action This week, don't focus only on what needs to be fixed—make space to simply enjoy each other. Recreate a joyful memory or try something lighthearted and new. 👉 If this episode encouraged you, share it with another couple who might need hope in their hard season. And if you haven't already, be sure to leave us a review—it helps more couples find the encouragement they need. 🔗 Visit ExpeditionMarriage.org for more resources, tools, and support to help your marriage thrive.

Have you ever caught yourself assuming you knew what your spouse was thinking or feeling—only to find out you were completely wrong? That's what we call "The Usual Error"—and it's one of the most common causes of conflict, hurt, and disconnection in marriage. In this episode, we'll unpack what the Bible says about making assumptions, why they're biblically unwise, and how to replace them with curiosity, humility, and God's wisdom to strengthen your marriage.   What You'll Learn in This Episode 1. What the Usual Error Is and Why It Hurts Marriage How assumptions create false narratives and unspoken expectations Why acting on unproven beliefs leads to miscommunication   2. Why Making Assumptions Can Be Spiritually Dangerous It's based on what's unproven → Leads to wrong conclusions It shows a lack of wisdom → Proverbs 18:2: "A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion." It causes division → Misunderstandings breed resentment and distance It reflects pride → Assuming we know our spouse's motives takes God's place as the only One who sees hearts   3. What the Bible Encourages Instead Practice humility and patience (Ephesians 4:2-3): Bear with one another in love Seek truth and discernment (Philippians 4:8; 1 Thessalonians 5:21): Think on what is true and test everything   4. How to Break the Usual Error in Marriage Practical tools to shift from assumption to understanding: Pause before reacting: "Do I have proof, or am I assuming?" Ask clarifying questions instead of assigning motives Practice reflective listening to ensure you've heard your spouse correctly Invite God into the conversation through prayer and patience   5. Encouragement and Hope Marriage is strengthened when you replace assumptions with curiosity and humility. Unity grows when you trust God more than your perceptions, opening the door for deeper connection, grace, and peace.

Marriages Marriage is challenging enough, but when your spouse doesn't share your faith, it can feel like you're walking this journey alone. In this episode, we're diving deep into what it means to be in a spiritually mismatched marriage and how to find hope, peace, and purpose along the way.   What You'll Learn in This Episode 1. The Reality of Spiritually Unequal Marriages What it means to be "spiritually mismatched" Common emotions: loneliness, frustration, confusion, and hope   2. Common Struggles These Couples Face Spiritual Loneliness: Feeling unsupported in your walk with Christ Parenting Challenges: Different values and beliefs causing tension Church Involvement: One spouse engaged, the other resistant Communication Gaps: Conflicts over priorities and purpose Stat: 67% of couples say faith differences increase relationship stress (Lifeway Research)   3. How to Love Well Without Compromising Your Faith Influence Through Love, Not Pressure Stay Rooted in Christ Find Support Create Connection Outside Faith   4. Encouragement and Hope God sees your marriage, your prayers, and your heart Romans 12:12 — "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Isaiah 40:31 — God renews your strength while you wait   Resources & Next Steps ✉️ Prayer Support: Email us at email@expeditionmarriage.org if you'd like us to pray alongside you—we keep a dedicated list and would love to lift your marriage before God. 🙏 Join Our 30-Day Praying for Your Husband Challenge to deepen your intercessory prayer life. (https://expeditionmarriage.org/30-day-praying-for-your-wife-challenge) • • 📩 Share This Episode: Know someone walking this path? Send them this episode and begin praying together for your husbands. https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-157-when-your-husband-doesnt-share-your-faith-hope-for-spiritually-unequal-marriages

Have you ever noticed how quickly small misunderstandings can spiral into full-blown conflicts? One simple comment can turn into a wall between you and your spouse if you let offense take over. But spiritual maturity calls us to a different path—one that chooses curiosity, compassion, and connection over pride and defensiveness.   In this episode, we're unpacking a powerful truth that can change the way you navigate disagreements in your marriage:   "You can't be curious and offended at the same time."   Spiritually mature couples learn to pause, seek understanding, and invite God into their marriage instead of letting emotions rule the moment. When offense leads, division grows—but when curiosity leads, your marriage becomes a place of safety, grace, and deeper intimacy.     What You'll Learn in This Episode 1. How Spiritual Immaturity Shows Up in Marriage Getting defensive when criticized Withdrawing instead of leaning in Avoiding confession and repentance Making self-centered decisions over Christ-centered ones   2. Signs of Spiritual Maturity Being quick to listen and slow to anger (James 1:19) Seeking understanding before responding Choosing forgiveness over grudges Inviting God into conflict and relying on His wisdom   3. "I've Just Touched a Wound, But I Did Not Cause It" We'll discuss why your spouse's strong reactions may be tied to old wounds—and why you don't need to deflect, defend, people-please, or withdraw. Instead, you can stay present and curious to create emotional safety.   4. How Curiosity Builds Connection Asking thoughtful questions instead of assuming Creating emotional safety and trust Discovering what's really happening beneath the surface     Resources & Next Steps   📄 Download the free Spiritual Maturity in Marriage Assessment to practice curiosity in your marriage. Includes curiosity question prompts. https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-156-curiosity-over-offense-how-staying-spiritually-mature-can-transform-your-marriage Episode 140 When the Past Shows up Uninvited in Your Marriage  https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-140-when-the-past-shows-up-uninvited-understanding-implicit-memory-in-marriage/ 💬 If you need help navigating conflict and rebuilding connection, visit ExpeditionMarriage.org/marriage to learn about our Christ-centered counseling and coaching.

When chronic illness enters a marriage, it doesn't just affect one person—it touches everything. Routines shift, intimacy changes, energy drops, and even the way you see each other can be altered. In this honest and hope-filled episode, we talk about the silent grief couples carry, the changes they face, and how to begin healing and reconnecting in a new, grace-filled way. We even share our own personal story.   Whether you're the one facing health challenges or the one walking alongside, there is hope for restoration—not necessarily of the "before" life, but of connection, intimacy, and partnership in the "now."   What You'll Learn in This Episode: The unspoken losses chronic illness brings into marriage—and why it's okay to grieve them How to rebuild connection and intimacy in new and meaningful ways Practical steps for healing together and making space for honest conversations Encouragement and Scripture to remind you that you're not alone in this journey   Key Takeaways & Scriptures: 💬 "When chronic illness enters a marriage, it doesn't just affect one person—it touches everything. But it doesn't have to define everything." 📖 Romans 12:15 – "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." 📖 1 Corinthians 13:7 – "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." 📖 Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 – "Two are better than one… If either of them falls down, one can help the other up."   Links & Resources: Download the Couples Conversation Worksheet  (Ihttps://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-155-healing-your-marriage-after-chronic-illness)– Use this free guide to start meaningful conversations about healing and connection in your marriage after chronic illness.   Check out Jackie Hill Perry's teaching on In Defence of Hope. We know it will be an ecnouragement for you. https://youtu.be/pdXu23RLCE8?si=ymhPjOd2V8XKr107   Need more support? Visit ExpeditionMarriage.org for coaching, resources, and tools.   Share this episode with a friend or couple who's navigating chronic illness—they need encouragement too!   Let's Connect: If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs it. Together, we can spread hope and equip more marriages to thrive—no matter the season they're in.

Does your relationship ever feel like it swings from intense connection to deep frustration—and then back again? If so, you may be married to a Vacillator. In today's episode, we're diving into what it's like to live and love with this emotional love style, and how you can find more stability and connection together.   💬 "Being married to a Vacillator can feel like navigating emotional whiplash—passionate connection one moment, frustration and distance the next."   This episode is all about understanding the why behind the ups and downs—and learning how to build trust and steadiness in a sensitive, emotionally-charged marriage.   🧭 What You'll Learn: What defines the Vacillator Love Style and where it originates Why Vacillators often feel disappointed or emotionally overwhelmed The impact this love style has on a marriage What a Vacillator truly needs from their spouse How Vacillators themselves can grow emotionally and spiritually   💡 Key Traits of a Vacillator: Craves deep connection, but fears rejection Easily feels hurt or let down by perceived distance Struggles with waiting, emotional regulation, and trust Idealizes, then devalues their spouse when expectations aren't met   📖 Scriptures Mentioned: Isaiah 30:18 – "The Lord longs to be gracious to you…" 1 Corinthians 13:4–5 – "Love is patient, love is kind… it is not easily angered…" Psalm 62:5–6 – "For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence… He only is my rock…"   ❤️ 3 Practical Things Vacillators Need: Consistent and Predictable Connection → Small follow-throughs build trust and soothe abandonment fears. Attuned Listening Without Defensiveness → Validation and reflection are more healing than explanation. Grace When They Emotionally Escalate → Compassion in their emotional moments creates safety, not shame.   💬 "Vacillators heal when love stops being unpredictable and starts becoming trustworthy."     🎯 Take Action:   📤 Share this episode with someone navigating emotional cycles in their marriage 🌐 Visit ExpeditionMarriage.org for biblical tools and counseling • • ⭐️ Leave a review to help others find truth and encouragement

Does your spouse always say "yes," avoid conflict, or seem overly focused on making everyone else happy—even at their own expense? You may be married to a Pleaser. In this episode, we're unpacking what it really means to be married to a Pleaser—how this love style forms, how it impacts your relationship, and what both of you can do to create deeper emotional intimacy.   💬 "Pleasers aren't trying to be fake—they're trying to stay safe."   This episode is all about moving from performance to authenticity—and learning to build a marriage where honesty, vulnerability, and mutual care are welcome.   🧭 What You'll Learn: What drives the Pleaser Love Style Why pleasers often avoid conflict and overextend themselves What it's like being married to a Pleaser—and the hidden costs of chronic "yes" How to respond with love, not pressure Practical steps for Pleasers to grow in confidence and connection   💡 Key Highlights: Pleasers often come from critical or high-pressure homes and learned to keep the peace by minimizing their needs. Being married to a Pleaser may feel emotionally confusing—because it's hard to connect with someone who won't show you their full self. Change is possible when Pleasers feel safe to express, say no, and trust that love isn't based on performance.   📖 Scriptures Mentioned: Galatians 1:10 – "Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God?" Ephesians 4:15 – "Speak the truth in love…"     🎯 Take Action: 💬 Talk with your spouse using these connecting questions:   What is one thing I can do for you to help make tomorrow easier? What reactions of mine tend to be stressful to you? Is there an area of your life, even with me, where you feel like you have to walk on eggshells? Why is that?   📤 Share this episode with a friend or couple who may need it. ⭐️ Leave a review on your favorite podcast platform to help other couples find biblical encouragement. 🔗 Visit ExpeditionMarriage.org for more marriage tools and support.   💭 You don't have to earn love through peacekeeping. Real connection happens when you let yourself be known—and loved—in truth.

Do you ever feel like you're talking to a wall? Or maybe like you're carrying all the emotional weight in your marriage? If so, you might be married to an Avoider—someone who disconnects emotionally, struggles with vulnerability, and often insists they're "fine" when they're anything but.   In today's episode, we're taking a deeper look into what emotional avoidance really is, where it comes from, and—most importantly—how to build emotional safety and connection in a marriage where one spouse tends to shut down.   💬 "Being married to an avoider doesn't mean your spouse doesn't care—it often means they were never taught how to engage emotionally in healthy ways."   🧭 What You'll Learn: The traits and mindset of the Avoider Love Style Why emotional shutdown isn't personal—it's protective What it's really like being married to an avoider How their childhood may have shaped their emotional patterns Practical and biblical tools to invite connection and build trust Encouragement for avoiders to grow emotionally and spiritually   📖 Scriptures Mentioned: Psalm 34:18 – "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted…" Ezekiel 36:26 – "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you."   🎯 Take Action: Visit ExpeditionMarriage.org for biblically based marriage resources and counseling. Share this episode with a friend who may be married to an avoider. Don't forget to leave a rating or review to help more couples discover hope and healing.   💡 You're not stuck in a cycle of disconnection—there is hope, growth, and emotional intimacy waiting on the other side of avoidance. Let's start the journey together.  

Do you find yourself trying to "fix" your spouse, control the outcome of your marriage, or manage every detail so nothing goes wrong? You're not alone—and you're not broken for feeling that way. But there is a better, more freeing path forward. In this episode, Chris & Jamie unpack why we try to control our marriages, what's really behind that urge, and how learning to surrender our grip can bring peace. You'll gain insight, scriptural truth, and practical steps to help you trust God more deeply with your marriage and your spouse.   🔑 Key Topics Covered: What Control Looks Like in Marriage Constant correction, micromanaging, withholding support How control often disguises itself as "help" or "concern" Scripture Highlight: Galatians 5:1, James 4:1–2  What's Behind the Need for Control? Fear  Control as self-protection when trust in God wavers Scripture Highlight: 2 Timothy 1:7, Psalm 56:3  The Problem with Control Damages emotional safety and connection Stifles the Holy Spirit's work Leaves you exhausted and discouraged Quote: "Letting go of control doesn't mean giving up—it means giving God His rightful place."  How to Surrender Control and Trust God Identify your fears and release them to God Shift from pressure to prayer Scripture Highlight:Matthew 11:28–30   💬 Powerful Takeaway Quote: "Control often feels like protection—but it's actually a heavy burden God never asked us to carry."     🎯 Call to Action: Share this episode with a friend who may be carrying too much Want more support? Learn about Christian marriage counseling at ExpeditionMarriage.org/marriage   Don't forget: A great marriage isn't found—it's built, one intentional step at a time. Keep showing up. Keep trusting God. We're cheering you on.

Emotions in marriage aren't the enemy—they're God-given tools meant to stir your heart toward action, deeper intimacy, and meaningful connection. In this episode of Expedition Marriage, Chris & Jamie dive into some common powerful emotions that, when understood and embraced biblically, can strengthen your relationship and reignite passion. You'll discover how emotions like frustration, fear, sadness, and even boredom can become catalysts for growth, healing, and renewed love.   🧭 What You'll Learn: How to use frustration as a signal for healing instead of division Why fear in your relationship can be a sign you're growing How sadness and regret can lead to deeper restoration and closeness Why longing for beauty and connection in your marriage is godly How to recognize and respond to righteous anger and protect your marriage How emotions are designed by God to draw you closer, not pull you apart   📖 Scripture References: Ephesians 4:26 – "In your anger do not sin." Isaiah 41:10 – "Do not fear, for I am with you." Ecclesiastes 3:4 – "A time to weep and a time to laugh." Nehemiah 4:14 – "Fight for your families…" Philippians 4:8 – "Whatever is lovely… think about such things." Ecclesiastes 9:9 – "Enjoy life with your wife…" 2 Corinthians 7:10 – "Godly sorrow brings repentance…"   💬 Reflection Questions: Which emotion is currently showing up in your marriage? Have you been avoiding it, or using it in a way that draws you closer? How might God want to use that emotion to transform your relationship?   📣 Don't Miss: If this episode encouraged you, share it with a friend or leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! Every share helps more couples find hope and healing through Christ.   🧭 Follow-Up: Explore more ways to build your marriage at ExpeditionMarriage.org and don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode!   Closing Reminder: A great marriage isn't found—it's built. One intentional step at a time.

Marriage is a lifelong journey that evolves with each decade—and every season comes with both its own challenges and its unique purpose. In this episode, Chris & Jamie walk through the different decades of marriage—from the idealistic 20s to the legacy-filled 70s—and share biblical wisdom and practical encouragement for every stage. Whether you're dreaming big, building hard, questioning what's next, or leaving a legacy, this episode will help you embrace your season with grace, faith, and intentionality.   🧭 What You'll Learn: What characterizes each decade of marriage and the purpose within it How to strengthen your relationship through every season—from early dreams to late wisdom Why your current season matters and how to fully show up for it Biblical encouragement and reflection questions for each stage   💡 Episode Highlights: 🧡 The Idealistic Years (20s) • Time of big dreams, passion, and possibilities • Don't let others stifle your optimism—dream and plan together 🔨 The Industrious Years (30s) • The building decade: careers, parenting, responsibilities • High-stress years—easy to feel like co-workers instead of lovers 🔥 The Intense Years (40s) • Questions of success, identity, and "Have we done enough?" • Increased financial and physical stress; watch for resentment 🕊️ The Influential Years (50s & 60s) • A time of wisdom, mentoring, and dreaming new dreams—together • Warning: high divorce rate in this age group; stay connected 🌳 The Indelible Years (70s & beyond) • Storytelling season—your words and life hold deep meaning • Grandchildren watch how you finish the race   💬 Reflection & Encouragement: • No season is wasted—each one has a God-given purpose • Ecclesiastes 3:1 – "To everything there is a season…" • Talk with your spouse: What season are you in? What do you need most from one another right now?   🎯 Call to Action: 📥 Download your free resource: Marriage Through the Decades Reflection Guide at https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-149-the-different-decades-of-marriage-every-season-has-a-purpose 👥 Share this episode with another couple—especially one in a different season than you ⭐ Leave a review if this episode encouraged you—it helps more couples find hope 🌐 Visit ExpeditionMarriage.org for more free tools, blog posts, and resources   Closing Reminder: A great marriage isn't found—it's built. One intentional season at a time. Until next time—keep showing up, keep leaning in, and keep trusting God with your journey.

When it comes to parenting, most couples focus on discipline strategies, school choices, and managing behavior. But what if one of your most powerful parenting tools isn't a strategy at all—but your marriage itself? In this episode, we'll show you how a Christ-centered, connected marriage naturally overflows into your parenting. The way you love, communicate with, and treat your spouse is constantly shaping what your children believe about love, respect, and relationships.   💬 What You'll Learn in This Episode: Why your marriage is your greatest influence in your children's lives How unresolved conflict between you and your spouse affects your kids—even when you think they don't notice Why a healthy, grace-filled relationship teaches more than your words ever could How to model faith, love, and security in your home without needing to be perfect   📖 Want to Go Deeper? Check out our YouVersion Bible Reading Plan: 👉 How to Use Your Marriage as Your Best Parenting Tool This free 5-day plan will help you strengthen your marriage and see it as the gift God designed to bless your children.   📥 Resources: Visit expeditionmarriage.org for more marriage and parenting resources. https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-148-how-to-use-your-marriage-as-your-best-parenting-tool/ 🎯 Call to Action: After listening, ask each other: "What are our kids learning about relationships from us right now?" Share this episode with a couple who needs encouragement in their parenting journey. Subscribe and leave a review to help more couples discover Expedition Marriage.   Let's raise strong children by building strong marriages.

How to Co-Regulate in Marriage and Become Each Other's Safe Place Ever feel like you and your spouse are constantly missing each other emotionally? In this episode, we're talking about the powerful (but often overlooked) practice of co-regulation—and how it can transform your marriage into a place of emotional safety, healing, and connection. We'll explore what it means to not just regulate your own emotions but to be a calm, supportive presence for your spouse—and how this reflects the love and comfort of Christ in your marriage.   In this episode, we'll cover: ✅ What co-regulation is (and how it's different from self-regulation) 💔 How emotional disconnection and little "t" traumas show up in everyday marriage moments 📖 The biblical foundation for becoming a safe place: Galatians 6:2, Proverbs 17:17, Ecclesiastes 4:9–10, Romans 12:10 💡 Real-life examples of how co-regulation can show up in your marriage 🛠 Practical steps to create emotional safety and healing—without needing to fix everything ❤️ Why your tone, presence, and patience may be the most healing tools you have   💬 Quote from the Episode: "There's enough loss in the world—let's not contribute more of it in our homes."     🎯 Call to Action: Try to implement co-regulation into your marriage this week: a soft word, your presence, or a listening ear. Tune yourself into your spouse. Look for ways to show up for them. Be the soft place for them to land in this harsh world. Ask your spouse: "Do you feel emotionally safe with me?"—and truly listen. Share this episode with a friend or couple who could use some emotional connection and support. Visit expeditionmarriage.org for more tools, devotionals, and resources to build a safe and God-honoring marriage.   You don't have to heal alone—and you weren't designed to do marriage alone. Let's build homes of safety and healing—together.       https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-147-safe-and-sound-how-to-co-regulate-in-marriage-and-become-each-others-safe-place