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Fail Better with David Duchovny
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Fail Better with David Duchovny

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To be human is to fail – period. And not just to fail once, but to fail a lot. As the author Samuel Beckett said: “Fail again. Fail better.” This saying means a lot to me and my family – so much so that my daughter got a tattoo of it. Why are we, and so many others, so deeply concerned by failure? And if it’s something we all do so often, why are we so afraid of it – especially those of us here in win-at-all-costs America? In this podcast, I sit down with successful, thoughtful people like Ben Stiller, Bette Midler, Sean Penn and more to talk about failure – or what they labeled “failure,” but what was really an unparalleled opportunity for growth and revelation. I even want to delve into my own hardest moments, when I wrestled with setbacks, shame, and fear. We’ll still fail again. And again. But maybe if we fail better, we’ll feel better -- and maybe if we can all laugh together in failure, that's a start.

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This episode originally aired on November 12, 2024. Gillian Anderson and I share a connection unlike any other. The Dana Scully to my Fox Mulder, we are the only ones who understand what the other was going through during those X-Files years. But so much was left unsaid — until now. We got a chance to open up about the ways we might have failed one another during that wild ride, and we both examine the ways we’ve grown since. Gillian also caught me up on all her ventures and adventures — her work, her writing in the sexual fantasy compilation Want, and her cheeky new “unconventional wellness” line of soft drinks. It’s good to rediscover an old friend. Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with Lemonada on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/ For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
John Seabrook is a journalist and author best known for his work at The New Yorker magazine. This means he didn’t go into the family business: large-scale industrial agriculture. During their heyday, Seabrook Farms was a household name in frozen vegetables. But an internal power struggle that lasted for generations ultimately tore the family and the business apart. In his latest book, The Spinach King, John is unpacking his family’s legacy — including hidden stories of exploitation and cruelty. It was great to re-connect with John, someone I hadn’t seen since we were both undergraduates at Princeton in the '80s, particularly to hear him dissect the complex patterns of privilege and patriarchy that echo through not only the halls of Ivy League institutions, but our entire country. Fail Better is now on YouTube! Watch this episode here. Check out John’s latest book The Spinach King, wherever books are sold. Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Find more video podcasts on our YouTube channel. Stay up to date with Lemonada on X, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our shows and get bonus content. Subscribe today on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Sitting across from Dr. Peter Weller — another actor/author/academic like myself — I knew I was in for an engaging conversation. But as Peter explained the shape his life has taken, I saw beyond his vast accomplishments to his deep sense of self-knowledge. Long before he was Robocop, Peter was a masterful jazz trumpet player, idolizing innovators like Miles Davis. Yet, for all Peter’s talent, the horn wasn’t the ticket to self-expression he craved. He pivoted to acting, finding a new sense of wonder and challenge working opposite legends like Diane Keaton. At the heart of it all is the idea he explored in his academic work: the inextricable link between art and artist. And hey, he even gives me a few tips for finishing a dissertation. Fail Better is now on YouTube! Watch this episode here. Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Find more video podcasts on our YouTube channel. Stay up to date with Lemonada on X, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our shows and get bonus content. Subscribe today on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
For the Thanksgiving holiday, who better to hear from than a family who has fought hard for the communication, compromise, and comedy that fuels their daily lives?  Don’t Listen To Us is an advice show for advice skeptics and wisdom lovers, hosted by Mandy Patinkin, his wife Kathryn Grody, and their son Gideon. Legendary actor Mandy (The Princess Bride, Homeland, Criminal Minds) is the consummate entertainer who shoots from the hip, stage actress Kathryn is the thoughtful connector who sees all the nuance, and Gideon is the brave soul keeping them on track — or at least trying to. Many and Kathryn don’t always agree on what advice to give; in fact, they rarely do. But they draw from their highs and lows as artists, parents, lovers, and humans, to give their unique take on real dilemmas submitted by you.  You’re about to hear the first episode from Don’t Listen To us. After you listen, head to: https://lemonada.lnk.to/DontListenToUsfd to hear the full episode and follow the show wherever you get your podcasts. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our shows and get bonus content. Subscribe today on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
The actor Kyle MacLachlan readily acknowledges the immense impact that the late director David Lynch had on his life and career. After making his on-screen debut starring in Lynch's sci-fi epic Dune (1984), Kyle expected superstardom — only to see the movie flop commercially. However, the connection he forged with Lynch led to a lifelong friendship and a filmography inhabiting the director's unforgettable and mysterious worlds. I look back at my time on set with Kyle as the iconic Dale Cooper on Twin Peaks, and we dissect our characters in the 2017 sequel series. Plus, we learn how Kyle’s Pacific Northwest roots led him to become a winemaker, and why he started a podcast to learn from 20-somethings. As I feel at any opportunity for us to connect, I’m reminded why perhaps David Lynch was just as lucky to find Kyle. Read Kyle’s New York Times opinion piece about David Lynch here. Fail Better is now on YouTube! Watch this episode here. Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Find more video podcasts on our YouTube channel. Stay up to date with Lemonada on X, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our shows and get bonus content. Subscribe today on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
As a columnist for the Washington Post, Megan McArdle tackles the most fraught political topics of our time. So why did we spend so much time talking about pie? It turns out, it's all connected. We discuss how the same forces that shape our nation — especially technology — have also shaped our relationship with craft. A self-described "liberal-tarian", Megan has a unique way of articulating both sides of every argument. We trace her roots as a blogging provocateur, and how she came to take a slice out of both ends of the political spectrum to create her own nuanced flavor of discourse. Plus, we analyze her approach to writing and what she would update in her book, “The Up Side of Down: Why Failing Well Is the Key to Success”. Fail Better is now on YouTube! Watch this episode here. Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Find more video podcasts on our YouTube channel. Stay up to date with Lemonada on X, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our shows and get bonus content. Subscribe today on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Back in September, I sat down with powerful writer and past guest Jia Tolentino at the Strand Bookstore in New York City to discuss my first poetry collection, About Time. This book is a poetic autobiography of sorts, gathering moments and fragments from my life. In front of a hometown crowd, Jia and I explore my early inspirations, debate poems versus songs, and I even read a few of our favorite pieces.  You can purchase your copy of About Time at https://www.akashicbooks.com/catalog/about-time-poems/  Fail Better is now on YouTube! Watch this episode here. Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Find more video podcasts on our YouTube channel. Stay up to date with Lemonada on X, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our shows and get bonus content. Subscribe today on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Take a walk through Judd Apatow’s office, like I did, and you’ll be reminded of all the successful projects he’s helped create over the years: Anchorman, Bridesmaids, Superbad, The 40-Year-Old Virgin. I joined him there to discuss his new visual memoir, Comedy Nerd: A Lifelong Obsession in Stories and Pictures. As I learn throughout our conversation, Judd’s propulsion to create isn’t to prove that he’s one of the funniest guys in the biz; it’s to figure out if he has anything to say in the first place, to work out what’s in his head. It’s something I relate to as a writer, and it’s a big part of the new book, as he documents everything he’s collected and concocted over the years and tries to make sense of this life that he’s made. As we reflect, we also talk about our most scathing reviews, why we can’t Google ourselves, and how Judd’s documentary on our mutual friend, Garry Shandling, helped cement his subject’s legacy. Fail Better is now on YouTube! Watch this episode here. Head over to Booking.com and start your listing today. Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Find more video podcasts on our YouTube channel. Stay up to date with Lemonada on X, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our shows and get bonus content. Subscribe today on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
You might remember from way back when this podcast started that my very first guest was Ben Stiller. It was a memorable interview for lots of reasons, including that Ben talked to me about his parents, Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara and the documentary about the two of them he was working on. Well, that film is about to be out in the world. It’s called Stiller & Meara: Nothing Is Lost, and it’s streaming on Apple TV starting this Friday, October 24th. In honor of that, we’re revisiting that first episode of Fail Better, featuring my friend Ben. Hope you enjoy. Get 50% off Monarch, the all-in-one financial tool at monarch.com with code FAILBETTER. Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Find more video podcasts on our YouTube channel. Stay up to date with Lemonada on X, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our shows and get bonus content. Subscribe today on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Steve Burns was nice enough to join me on the show a few weeks ago, so I wanted to give you all a chance to listen to his new podcast. There are a thousand podcasts you can listen to; Alive with Steve Burns listens back. Steve Burns is continuing the conversation he began all those years ago. Back then it was letters and numbers and graham crackers. Now it’s death, sex, taxes, and all the big, messy questions of being alive.  Why does money stress us out? Is the American Dream dead? What’s the future of truth? Each week, a new guest drops by Steve’s window for a genuine and respectful dialogue between two people just trying to figure it out, together. Funny, tender, and just a little weird, this show invites you to sit down and think with Steve once again and wonder… what it really means to be alive. You’re about to hear a recent episode, where Steve sits down with iconic performer Jamie Lee Curtis to talk about authenticity and aging. To hear more of Alive with Steve Burns, head to: https://lemonada.lnk.to/AlivewithSteveBurnsfd  Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our shows and get bonus content. Subscribe today on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Charlie Sheen is an actor perhaps known just as well for his off-screen antics as his on-screen performances. In his new memoir, The Book of Sheen, Charlie is finally coming clean on what was going on during his years of hard drugs, public divorces, and on-set disputes that came to define his later career and reputation. These days, humility, gratitude, and sobriety have come to replace his meme-able bravado. Sitting on stage with him at the 92nd Street Y in NYC, we shared jokes and jabs as I sought to discover why he chose to tell his story now — and why he took such a unique literary approach. Plus, we discuss the turning point that sent him on the road to recovery, and Charlie tells us what his one “do-over” in life would be — the answer might surprise you. Fail Better is now on YouTube! Watch this episode here. For a limited time, Home Chef is offering my listeners FIFTY PERCENT OFF and free shipping for your first box PLUS free dessert for life! Go to homechef.com/failbetter. Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Find more video podcasts on our YouTube channel. Stay up to date with Lemonada on X, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our shows and get bonus content. Subscribe today on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
This week we’re revisiting my conversation with the author Gretchen Rubin, since we could probably all use a little more light these days. Gretchen has spent years trying to understand happiness, the ways she can access it herself, and how to bring others in on the wisdom she’s gained.  Gretchen also has a new podcast, Since You Asked, with bestselling author and psychotherapist, Lori Gottlieb. The two of them team up to take on the everyday problems we all face. Whether it’s the pet peeve that’s annoyed you for years, the question you’re too embarrassed to ask, or the dilemma you can’t solve, they'll address it all with warmth, humor, and insight. Follow Since You Asked wherever you get your podcasts or head to https://lemonada.lnk.to/SinceYouAskedfd  Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Find more video podcasts on our YouTube channel. Stay up to date with Lemonada on X, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our shows and get bonus content. Subscribe today on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Steve Burns is best known for being the host of a beloved 90s children’s show, Blue’s Clues, so I didn’t expect this interview to be about Samuel Beckett. But it turns out that Steve and I share a deep admiration for the writer, as well as a lot of other common ground. Steve went quiet for about two decades after rumors of his death took over the internet, and now he’s back with a podcast (Alive, which just dropped September 17). The two of us talk about listening, what people didn’t appreciate about Pee-wee Herman, and the deep, lasting importance of Sesame Street. Steve has a lot of perspective, having stood both at the center and on the outside of important, formative media that influenced so many adults today. This is a conversation about the past, for the future. Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at www.monarchmoney.com/FAILBETTER.  Fail Better is now on YouTube! Watch this episode here. Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Find more video podcasts on our YouTube channel. Stay up to date with Lemonada on X, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our shows and get bonus content. Subscribe today on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
A decade ago, the actor Tom Pelphrey couldn’t have imagined the shape his life would take today: a father to a two-year-old daughter, starring in the new HBO series Task alongside Mark Ruffalo, and engaged to actress Kaley Cuoco. He was gripped by alcoholism and dissociation, having spent years working long, demanding days on the soap opera Guiding Light and ignoring his feelings to keep up with the grind. Then, he broke loose and started to heal. We talk about the realizations and practices that helped him get here (and to projects like Ozark) — including, at first, acquainting himself with the uncomfortable thoughts he’d been trying so hard to avoid. It’s clear from our conversation that Tom is tremendously grateful, and it’s inspiring to see him on the other end of these struggles. Get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at square.com/go/failbetter! #squarepod Fail Better is now on YouTube! Watch this episode here. Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Find more video podcasts on our YouTube channel. Stay up to date with Lemonada on X, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our shows and get bonus content. Subscribe today on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
If Gene Simmons’ hard exterior scared you off, it did its job. As a founding member of the band KISS, Gene has spent decades putting on what he calls a persona, and today it comes off — at least a little. We talk about Gene’s journey, including being raised by a single, adoring mother, the origins of KISS, and why Ozzy Osbourne’s down-to-earth demeanor had such an impact on Gene. The man in the chair across from me seems to fluctuate between Gene — a father, husband, and son — and The Demon — a protective layer for the public eye. It’s perhaps in the brief moments of switching from one to the other that the real magic happens, when we get to see all the ways that they connect.  Fail Better is now on YouTube! Watch this episode here. Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Find more video podcasts on our YouTube channel. Stay up to date with Lemonada on X, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our shows and get bonus content. Subscribe today on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Hey, Fail Better listeners — here’s a great show I think you should know about: Legacy Talk, hosted by the Emmy-winning writer, actor, and producer Lena Waithe. It’s a part of the Lemonada network, and it’s kicking off a second season of incredible episodes featuring trailblazing Black artists and makers. You’re about to hear the first episode of season 2, featuring the actress and singer Tisha Campbell. When you’re done, search for Legacy Talk wherever you’re listening right now or head to https://lemonada.lnk.to/LegacyTalkWithLenaWaithefd to find more episodes. And if you want to watch, head over to YouTube for the video version. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our shows and get bonus content. Subscribe today on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Amanda Knox was a young student in a foreign country when she was thrust into an international media firestorm, accused — and then ultimately acquitted — of the murder of her roommate. Now an author and public speaker, she’s the executive producer of the new scripted drama “The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox”, an attempt to finally tell her story on her own terms. She has spent years grappling with the profound psychological impact of her imprisonment and exoneration, and she isn’t afraid to open up about her intentions in retelling this story once again in the public eye, or why she decided to face her Italian prosecutor years later. She joins me to discuss how she's made sense of it all, the contradictions she's observed in the systems she was caught in, and how she explains it all to her young daughter. Fail Better is now on YouTube! Watch this episode here. Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Find more video podcasts on our YouTube channel. Stay up to date with Lemonada on X, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our shows and get bonus content. Subscribe today on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
I should’ve known I was in for a revelatory conversation when I met with the family therapist Terry Real. He pioneered a book on male depression in the ‘90s, and he’s been helping countless people break through mental and relational barriers in the years since. I start the conversation by inquiring about how Terry knew he would be good at this work, and before I know it we’re talking about my mother — so I guess that answers that question. Terry is an excellent listener, and he has an impulse to make advice clear and accessible, extracting something universal from even the most specific of stories, including mine. Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at www.monarchmoney.com/FAILBETTER. Fail Better is now on YouTube! Watch this episode here. Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Find more video podcasts on our YouTube channel. Stay up to date with Lemonada on X, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our shows and get bonus content. Subscribe today on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Memoirists do the generous work of letting us into their lives, and then there are ones like Melissa Febos who also graciously entertain all the new questions their work inspires. Melissa lets me in on the elements of her life and experiences that I’m curious about, from people’s reaction to her job as a dominatrix (as documented in her book Whipsmart) to her year-long trial of celibacy (the focus of her newest book, The Dry Season). Melissa is a writer both precise and elaborate, and I can’t help but compare her to many of the literary greats. We trace the roots of her compulsive behaviors and discuss how seeking new ideals for love and connection can help to find passion in the everyday — even in a conversation.  Fail Better is now on YouTube! Watch this episode here. Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Find more video podcasts on our YouTube channel. Stay up to date with Lemonada on X, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our shows and get bonus content. Subscribe today on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
I’m coming to you live from Vroman’s Bookstore in Pasadena, California, where I got to sit down with my friend, author Jess Walter. We chatted in front of a packed house (including a few friendly dogs) and now we’re sharing that event with the rest of you. Jess is not only my go-to buddy to text about all things basketball; he’s an accomplished novelist who can skewer the Hollywood elite just as easily as he can wryly observe the local inhabitants of his hometown of Spokane, Washington. We dissect his new novel, So Far Gone, a story rife with humor, heart, and perspective in uncertain times. Plus, Jess shares the wisdom he learned from his father and how fictional characters can do the often hard work of building empathy. Find Jess’s novel, So Far Gone, wherever books are sold: https://www.harpercollins.com/products/so-far-gone-jess-walter  Fail Better is now on YouTube! Watch this episode here. Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Find more video podcasts on our YouTube channel. Stay up to date with Lemonada on X, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our shows and get bonus content. Subscribe today on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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