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Fail Better with David Duchovny
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Fail Better with David Duchovny
Author: Lemonada Media
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To be human is to fail – period. And not just to fail once, but to fail a lot. As the author Samuel Beckett said: “Fail again. Fail better.” This saying means a lot to me and my family – so much so that my daughter got a tattoo of it. Why are we, and so many others, so deeply concerned by failure? And if it’s something we all do so often, why are we so afraid of it – especially those of us here in win-at-all-costs America? In this podcast, I sit down with successful, thoughtful people like Ben Stiller, Bette Midler, Sean Penn and more to talk about failure – or what they labeled “failure,” but what was really an unparalleled opportunity for growth and revelation. I even want to delve into my own hardest moments, when I wrestled with setbacks, shame, and fear. We’ll still fail again. And again. But maybe if we fail better, we’ll feel better -- and maybe if we can all laugh together in failure, that's a start.
22 Episodes
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Here’s something a little different this week, before I come back next week with more interviews. At the end of each episode, you hear a snippet of my thoughts on the interview, usually a day or so later after I’ve had time to sit with it. I share the full version of those freeform, reflective monologues with our Premium subscribers, and today I wanted to share some of my favorites to give you a glimpse. If you want to get all of these insights released alongside the main episodes, you can subscribe at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. As added incentive, you'll also be able to get bonus content from all other Lemonada shows. Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with Lemonada on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/ For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
I recently sat down with organizational psychologist Adam Grant for an episode of his podcast, ReThinking. Even though he was the one interviewing me, he shared some of his own valuable insights from the world of academic research. In our conversation, we discuss the importance of accepting your failures, how falling short of your goals can be a good thing, and whether nice people really finish last. As an organizational psychologist, Adam Grant believes that great minds don't think alike; they challenge each other to think differently. In ReThinking, he has lively discussions and debates with interesting thinkers to uncover bold insights and share surprising science that can make us all a little bit smarter. If you like this interview, you can find ReThinking with Adam Grant wherever you get your podcasts. Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with Lemonada on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/ For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Being “indie famous” is complicated, and Kathleen Hanna isn’t here to water it down. Her career making feminist punk music — most notably in the band Bikini Kill — meant she was attacked for her activism by some and objectified as a symbol by others. But Kathleen and her bandmates continued to fight for respect and wrangle messy topics into punchy songs. Her new memoir, Rebel Girl, is a real treat, and it shows just how much change in the music industry and beyond can be traced back to those efforts. Does that mean Kathleen loves seeing her trailblazing messaging plastered onto throw pillows at Target? As you might expect, that, too, is complicated. Lemonada has teamed up with Apple Books to bring you the Lemonada Book Club. “Rebel Girl: My Life as a Feminist Punk” by Kathleen Hanna is our July/August 2024 audiobook of the month! For more details, visit http://apple.co/lemonadabookclub. Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with Lemonada on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/ For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
When I first met Kumail Nanjiani, we were on set on the X-Files, chasing down the shape-shifting Were-Monster. Since then, I’ve seen Kumail undergo his own transformation — into a leading man and big-screen superhero, playing memorable characters with depth, heart and humor. Only, he doesn’t always see it that way. We chat about his love of the X-Files and how he’s recently found new ways of approaching his life, relationship and career with more presence and joy, rather than stressing about the outcome. Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with Lemonada on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/ For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mary Trump, niece of former president Donald Trump, has long lived in the shadow of her family’s name. And as she writes in her new memoir, Who Could Ever Love You, the darkness of that shadow affected generations of Trump children long before it took hold of the world. We talk about her grandfather, Fred Trump, the business-minded, manipulative patriarch who molded his son Donald in his own sociopathic image. It’s a vivid family portrait, explaining so much about the systems and ideologies that created a man so reluctant to fail. Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with Lemonada on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/ For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
This week I’m sharing a neat episode of Freakonomics Radio, hosted by past guest Stephen Dubner. His acclaimed podcast recently put out a series that really resonated with me — a series about failure, which is part of why I was so excited to talk with Stephen in the first place. You get to hear the first episode of that series, How to Succeed at Failing, right now. I think you'll enjoy it. We tend to think of tragedies as a single terrible moment, rather than the result of multiple bad decisions. Can this pattern be reversed? We try — with stories about wildfires, school shootings, and love.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
The nephew of Joan Didion and John Gregory Dunne, and son of Dominick Dunne, becoming anything other than a writer feels almost sacrilegious. Yet Griffin Dunne only recently became an author, publishing his family memoir “The Friday Afternoon Club” after spending decades in other fruitful and wide ranging creative pursuits. The actor and producer, known for movies like An American Werewolf in London and the Scorsese-directed After Hours, feels some sort of regret about his professional moves. But as you’ll hear, he had no shortage of personal trouble and loss influencing his decisions. We chat about him and his famed family — full of actors, activists, and journalists — and all the struggles they collectively moved through. Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with Lemonada on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/ For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
“Who can explain the athletic heart?” These are the words Sally Jenkins’ father would ask, driving her to follow in his footsteps and become a groundbreaking sportswriter. From eating a cheeseburger alongside golf legends as a child, to writing memoirs of the world’s top athletes and coaches, Sally has had a unique look into the lives and minds (and hearts) of some of society’s most exceptional individuals. She shares the lessons she’s learned from athletes ranging from Lance Armstrong to Billie Jean King, how they can apply to all of us, and why losing might be the best thing that can happen to you. Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with Lemonada on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/ For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Jeremiah Fraites, co-founder of The Lumineers, says he’s not a lyricist. Yet he matches me quote for quote as we discuss creativity, grief, and giving up control. The conversation takes us a lot of places – like to the free-throw line, and to church. As a fellow father and musician, it’s a treat to see so many sides of Jeremiah, as is getting to reference Spielberg and Metallica in one sitting. Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with Lemonada on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/ For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Fred Armisen grew up idolizing trailblazing musicians, from The Beatles to The Clash and The Talking Heads. But spending his twenties drumming in bands never seemed to land him further than moderate crowds and endless nights loading his gear into the van. In need of a change, he turned to comedy, honing the craft of creating characters we know and love him for, on shows like SNL and Portlandia. I connected with Fred while we were both on set in different locales to discuss his unusual pivot, why he still feels an intense yearning for the music he loves, and the strange intimacy of filming a fight scene. Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with Lemonada on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/ For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
This week I wanted to share this interview I did with my friend Samantha Bee on her show Choice Words. Read more about our discussion below, and happy listening. We’ll be back next week. When actor David Duchovny was teaching his daughter to ride a bike, he made the questionable choice of taking her to the top of a grassy hill at Pepperdine University in Malibu and pointing her straight downhill toward Highway 1. Luckily she learned (quickly) how to brake, but he realized not all of his ideas are good ones. In fact, some are failures. Sam asks David how to view failure through a positive lens, why it’s so hard for Americans to admit defeat, and why Yale is still waiting for him to teach a Kierkegaard graduate class. Follow David Duchovny @davidduchovny on Instagram. Keep up with Samantha Bee @realsambee on Instagram and X. And stay up to date with us @LemonadaMedia on X, Facebook, and Instagram. For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
I may not know a lot about skateboarding, but I can recognize the type of relentless drive that fuels Tony Hawk. He’s left his mark on a sport that thrives on risk, which means he’s soared high and fallen hard. On the 25th anniversary of Tony landing the first “900” — a trick where he somehow spins 900 degrees in mid-air — we discuss the years of trial and error (and the broken rib) that led to that fateful moment. I also inquire about what’s kept Tony on the board all these years, and what lessons he’s applied to life off of it.
Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with Lemonada on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia.
Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/
For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
There are few actors left who embody the ethos of old Hollywood. Sean Penn is one of them. We got together at his place for a face-to-face exploration of Sean’s life and career. We discussed how his childhood in Malibu helped him create the iconic Jeff Spicoli, and how his first acting coach still shapes him today. We speak of his friends — Brando, DeNiro, and Scorsese — legends whose reputations, work ethic, and willingness to keep learning shaped their characters and their lives. Spending an hour in his presence is a masterclass in the pursuit of being a better creator, and a better human.
Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with Lemonada on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia.
Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/
For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
When I first heard about Patric Gagne, a diagnosed sociopath with a buzzy new memoir, I was intrigued. If she lives without the social emotions that often hold us back — embarrassment, jealousy, and shame — does she actually have a superpower? What can she teach us about failure, and does she fear it like the rest of us do? After tearing through her book, I sat down to discuss these big questions, bust the tired tropes, and learn about the Zen of sociopathy.
Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with Lemonada on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia.
Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/
For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Stephen Dubner, host of Freakonomics Radio, has done more than change the way we think about economics — I consider him a spiritual guide of our time. But for all his success, he’s got a laundry list of careers he’s left behind, from rising-star musician to New York Times writer. We debate the merits of expecting the worst versus hoping for the best and discuss how to trade nuance for novelty as we get older. It’s never too late to keep learning — or, according to him, to start a podcast.
Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with Lemonada on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia.
Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/
For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
On stage and off, Sarah Silverman is always evolving, whether that’s honing her standup routines or coming to grips with missteps in her past material. We reminisce about our mutual friend Garry Shandling, including the comedy star-studded basketball games he used to host, where I first met Sarah. I also have the pleasure of talking to Sarah about the satisfaction of apologies and the struggle of forgiveness, and I realize, once again, that I extend much more grace to others than I do to myself. Lucky for me, Sarah won’t stand for that.
Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with Lemonada on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia.
Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/
For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Like all of us, athletes fail often. Renowned tennis coach Brad Gilbert knows that well, and has spent decades analyzing weaknesses as a way to develop strengths. As a player, he rose to the rank of #4 in the world, then began coaching stars like Andy Roddick, Andy Murray, and, most recently, Coco Gauff. He even trained Zendaya for the movie Challengers. I loved hearing how the man Andre Agassi called “the greatest coach of all time” gets even more out of the best players in the game.
Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with Lemonada on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia.
Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/
For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
This is my most personal episode so far, but it's really about the wisdom of Dr. Gabor Maté. The author, physician, and public speaker reminds us all how we sometimes become too comfortable with self-criticism and regret. We talk about parenting, collaboration, and addiction, and I leave the interview feeling a level of gratitude that I don’t know what to do with. Here’s that conversation.
Follow me on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with Lemonada on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia.
Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/
For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
A long time ago when I worked as a bartender at Radio City Music Hall, I caught the second half of a Bette Midler show, and it blew me away. More than forty years later I ran into her at a restaurant in Santa Monica and said hi. I'm thrilled that she agreed to sit down and talk to me about a couple things that have gone wrong in her storied career. Tune in to hear about workplace horrors, how being self-deprecating doesn’t make me special, and what it really means to know thyself. All hail The Divine Miss M.
Follow David on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with us on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia.
Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/
For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
You can get even more Fail Better with Lemonada Premium, where I share the extended thoughts I have after each interview. Here’s a free peek at what you could be getting: After my conversation with Bette Midler, there are many things I’m still wondering about because I couldn’t find a way to bring them up, including what I wished I’d asked her about parenting. Subscribe to Lemonada Premium now in Apple Podcasts.
Follow David on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with us on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia.
Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/
For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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90p
every episode, David duchovny has a line that is just totally different than what we usually are hearing and really makes you think about things from a different perspective. love this podcast!
I’ve been absolutely captivated by ‘Fail Better with David Duchovny.’ David’s thoughtful conversations and his unique perspective on failure as a stepping stone to success are truly inspiring. https://hubhopper.com/episode/evolution-of-custom-packaging-1722170690/32648464
in the process of failing miserably. but this podcast helps. it came along at just the right time.
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Your podcast is like it's going to be a raw and honest exploration of life's ups and downs. Looking forward to tuning in and hearing your perspective https://garagedoorrepairshortpump.com/keeping-your-garage-door-in-top-condition-a-preventative-maintenance-checklist/.
It looks nice and cute. Thank you so much for posting.
What a great episode. I enjoyed every moment of it.
interesting...
sorry I sometimes text to fast
Mr Dochovny I remember you from something you did way before X - Files don't mother the the babysitter died , and red shoe diaries for real no kidding. I am on Facebook I live in Navarre , Fl. , the panhandle part go to Google maps. I don't know if you personally read your comments but if you do here I am. I am a 63year old borried guy
Great idea for a podcast. Would be interesting to talk about how the fear of failure is making us dumber. The best teacher is failure.
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