Faking Injuries Podcast

Called the dumbest show in football for a reason, Faking Injuries is an irreverent, crowd-funded, Cayman-domiciled podcast on a mission to spread the gospel of European football in America. Noah and Charlie prefer to discuss fans with flares, the best butts dumptrucks in the Premier League, and the size of your owner’s bank account. However, their contracts also require them to scout players and track teams in obscure leagues, keep an eye on financial football news, and craft bets across Europe that usually fail. If you love European football (soccer) and having a laugh, go listen!

#68 | Summer Consulting for the Big 6 Clubs

The boys are back from a cathartic hiatus that included a high-speed chase, negotiating international peace treaties, and lots of Popeyes. In this episode, the gentlemen run down squad needs and offer solutions in the transfer market, boardroom, and PR departments. As always, please rate/review and follow us on X @fakinginjuries

05-28
29:22

#67 | Drafting the Best Assets from Relegated Teams

The boys are back in town and they really need to stop doing drafts, it's become a problem. In today's episode, we draft the best players and managers from the three likely relegated sides in the PL: - Luton Town and wingbacks - Sheffield United, Bren Brereton Diaz, and Vinicius De Souza Costa the next Rodri? - Burnley's young wingers have the potential to rise Thanks to Noah for throwing this draft and handing the easy win to Charlie. As always, follow us on Twitter (or X) @fakinginjuries

04-16
19:11

#66 | Drafting The Most Overworked Employees In Football

The boys are back at the helm and they may have finally gone to far in this one. We start off with a spicy pop quiz and all hell breaks loose during the draft. Listen as we run down: - Charlie getting blindsided with a Soviet pop quiz - Bears used to be mascots and apparently - Noah manages to make two references to former dictators - the hardest workers in football (wrong answers only) - and sprinting desks coming to a workplace near you soon. As always, follow us on twitter @fakinginjuries

04-04
19:49

#65 | Random Show ft. European Map Talk, Tinder in Turkey, and Advice for Paul Pogba

The boys are back at their bantering best, running down many topics, most funny, none important, including: - Pop Quiz involving scoring keepers and English managers - Charlie's power ranking proposal - the reverse-reverse- Mayflower - Turkish players getting loose with it on Tinder - Dog-eat-dog world in League 2 - Geography lessons and dumb questions - Paul Pogba, we want you to become a youtuber - And a sad number of other unintelligent tangents. As always, follow us on twitter @fakinginjuries

03-30
26:00

#64 | The Worst Team in Football and the French Empire

The boys are back and cynical yet pragmatic as ever, detailing only the most un-important aspects of European football including: - Almeria: the worst team in football - France: apparently still has an empire - Locomotive: why are teams named after trains? - Mason Holgate: welcome to Wrexham? - City Football Group: acquiring Turkish club for profits or....hair transplants? - Championship gaffers: We advise a few on hard times - And much more non-sensical banter from the side of the Atlantic known more for its soybean subsidies than its football As always, follow us on X @fakinginjuries

03-11
20:09

#63 | Possibly Disparaging Transfer Awards

The boys pay sincere homage to the January transfer window, albeit a month late and possibly containing factual anomalies: - favorite U-19 - favorite hijacking (transfer) - transfer that made you say, WTF? - Favorite multi-club ownership - Best sale-leaseback

02-28
22:46

#62 | Mayhem in AFCON + City Football Group and Multi-Club Ownership

The boys are back at their wily best getting loose with a testy pop quiz session before plunging into the mythical tournament that is AFCON 2024. *Best episode alert, signal the alarms* As always follow us on twitter @fakinginjuries

02-05
23:07

#61 | The Uninformed Americans' Guide to AFCON

Join as the fellas belatedly preview (yes you read that correctly) the 2024 AFCON tournament. Listen along as they analyze and speculate about the tournament, and run through a quick flurry of transfers that caught their eyes. As always, follow us on twitter @fakinginjuries

01-24
26:56

#60 | Formula One, Loans in the NBA, the All Blacks and Football

The boys are back from their sabbatical and looking at life with fresh eyes once again. Listen along as the fellas run down: - Charlie's history lesson of the All Blacks - Noah discovers F1 and it threatens his love of football - The Relegation Landscape looks thicker than a bowl of oatmeal - Stupid ideas for intimidating penalty takers - And much more brought to you by our degenerating brain cells

01-19
22:57

#59 | Championship Check-in and Everton FFP Explained by Idiots

The boys are back to run down: - A special Championship-themed birthday pop quiz - Everton FFP and how we would have covered our tracks - Dumb history featuring the Belgian glory days and why people wore wigs - Our proposed Fotmob-FBref merger - And much more we're legally forbidden from advertising here As always, follow us on twitter @fakinginjuries

11-30
21:28

#58 | Surprising Golden Boot Leaders and Pop Quiz ft. Most Red Cards in a Match

The boys are back in action, running down: - The story of the most red cards in a match - Surprising golden boot leaders in Germany and Belgium - The Scottish origins of John McGinn - Roy Hodgson as a much younger lad - Milan v. Lecce - And much more we can't share here for legal purposes As always, follow us on twitter @fakinginjuries

11-20
22:19

#57 | Ozempic, the Bellingham Bro's, and Why Everton will be Relegated (this time)

The boys are back and getting into the football busy season with: - A pop quiz featuring Ozempic's European connection, Daniel Podence, and Feyenoord's wonderboy Santi Giminez - The Bellingham brothers check in...including Jobe to Real? - Is there anything special about the Jason Bateman Titanium Iphone? - And much more shambolic but compelling content. Follow us on twitter @fakinginuries Rate 5 stars if you have kindness in your heart

11-13
22:39

#56 | Ipswich Town, K-Pop, and International Teams on the Rise

The boys are back from their whale-hunting holiday in the Faroe Islands to talk on hot topics in the football world including: (0:50) Lee Kang-In, the Korean national team, and K-Pop stars. (5:00) Ipswich Town's remarkable run, a possible double promotion, and the rise of their manager Kieran McKenna. (11:15) International teams on the rise - Norway. Erling Haaland, Odegaard, Berge, Berg, and rising stars like Oscar Bobb. (14:55) Explosion of talent in Georgia with Kvicha Kvaratshkelia, Georges Mikautadze, and Mamardashvili leading the squad to the promised land. (17:45) Northern Ireland > Ireland? Shea Charles of Southampton is the talisman they needed.

10-29
24:27

#55 | Ange's Tottenham and Flares in Scandinavia

The boys are back running down their favorite storylines from the last fortnight of football, including: - Flares and mayhem in Amsterdam - We're trading our fathers for Ange Postecoglou - Jhon Duran's missile golazo has organized crime reconsidering their smuggling tactics - An Urgent PSA on the MLS - And we can't help talking about flares in Denmark (which seems like an oxymoron) As always follow us on twitter @fakinginjuries

10-04
19:44

#54 | Small Leagues, Big Profits

The boys are back and buzzing running down their favorite niche transfer shouts, including but not limited to: (00:01:03) Genk and why they should be your Belgian team (00:08:15) Profits made in Denmark from selling ginormous centerbacks (00:12:15) French summers of note with Rennes and Reims (00:19:39) In Dutchland with AZ Alkmaar, Billy Beane, and some healthy financials (00:24:06) Royal USG and the art of buying small after selling big - and some other antics that should be considered satire in the eyes of the law Give us a review and follow us on twitter @fakinginjuries

09-21
30:10

#53 | Possibly Our Final Transfer Debrief pt. 1 including Wolfsburg, Forest, and Burnley

The boys are back after scouring through Transfermarkt and Fotmob, running down 3 windows worthy of note across Europe. In part 1, the boys keep it mainstream-adjacent, discussing: - Wolfsburg cashing in and spending well makes this the perfect time to join the bandwagon. - Nottingham Forest strategy feels same-same but different and is Chris Wood a Ponzi Scheme? - Bold Burnley continue their moneyball strategy, but JJ Watt and Dude Perfect might fight 5 v. 1 in the boardroom if the plan unravels - And more hypotheticals, social commentary, and garbage per usual. Follow us on twitter @fakinginjuries and give us a review wherever you listen to podcasts!

09-14
22:42

#52 | Are West Ham Good? Dude Perfect at Burnley and More Hijinx

The boys are feeling as relaxed as a cow in Japan, this time turning the spotlight to: - All things West Ham including their new hit song - Will Luton Town get double digit points? - Harry Kane kissing the ring in Munich - The Non-Human Primate (NHP) market is set to explode - And much more legally satirical commentary Follow us on twitter @fakinginjuries

09-02
27:30

#51 | 5 Overreactions and John McGinn's Dumptruck

Tune in as the boys run down 5 overreactions from the first fortnight of English football including... - Tottenham's transition and are they already commissioning a statue for Ange? - Man United continue to be fraudulent on the pitch - Everton impressively more garbage than we recall - Aston Villa's resurgence and how John McGinn's dumptruck makes him a perfect Left Winger - Customary Brighton adulation - Championship news: Jobe Bellingham already better than Jude? - And much more garbage that the world might be better without As always, follow us on twitter @fakinginjuries

08-25
20:47

#50 | Bargain Transfers, Ultras Beefing Over Maps, and History Time

Maybe it's the nice weather...maybe it's the topo chico's...but the boys started strong and finished stronger in this one, running down: - Bournemouth's transfer business earns them an apology - Dusan Vlahovic at risk of losing 3 fingers? - Anderson Talisca's visionary agent - Macro assessment of the transfer market and are we in a bubble? - RC Lens check-in - Charlie is bullish on Turkey, and not just its hair transplant magicians And much more satirical garbage throughout. As always, follow us on twitter @fakinginjuries and rate and review!

08-16
29:37

#49 | Whale Hunting and Spicy Summer Transfers in Europe

The boys are back and nearing their peak rowdiness in this episode as they run down: - The EV hummer is coming for humanity if the whale hunters of the Faroe Islands don't get us first. - All things Saudi Arabia including latest moves and our appreciation for their social media teams who dominate their MLS counterparts. - Charlie loves the Strasbourg rebuild but his French could use improvement - Celtic's transfer business has us learning Nordic mythology - And oodles of other satirical banter with some boring transfer nerd talk mixed in. If you enjoyed this episode, check us out on twitter @fakinginjuries *Legal disclaimer (if it works like this) Warning this is satire for legal purposes. Thank you and good day. *

07-26
22:26

Recommend Channels