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Feeding The Mouth That Bites You: Parenting Today's Teens
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Feeding The Mouth That Bites You: Parenting Today's Teens
Author: Kenneth Wilgus, Jessica Pfeiffer
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© 2019 Feeding The Mouth That Bites You
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A weekly podcast on parenting teens and launching them into the world. Hosted by Jessica Pfeiffer with Dr. Ken Wilgus, author of the book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You."
179 Episodes
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We're taking the summer off after our fourth season! Plus... Dr. Ken has a big announcement that will interest all "Feeding The Mouth" parents when we get back. See you in the fall!
Today we finish up our discussion of Abigail Shrier's book, "Bad Therapy." We take on her more wide-ranging critiques of psychotherapy's influence on schools and parenting. Are schools overstepping when they start monitoring the mental health of their students? When did parenting become a specialized technique for the psychologically trained few. When did parents lose confidence in simply raising their children the same way their parents raised them? We take on these and other issues related to Abigail Shrier's book, "Bad Therapy."
Ms. Shrier's book can be found here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CK524HQ7/
Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you!
podcast@feedingthemouth.com
Get the book here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1514762374/
Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/
If you haven't read Abigail Shrier's book, "Bad Therapy" you probably should take a look. Ms. Shrier's critique of an over-psychologized culture and the negative effects of poorly applied therapeutic methods is a timely warning for parents. Dr. Ken doesn't agree with all her conclusions but, as you'll see, there's plenty of very important cautions for parents considering taking their kid to therapy. This is part one of a two part (rather long) discussion.
Ms. Shrier's book can be found here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CK524HQ7/
Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you!
podcast@feedingthemouth.com
Get the book here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1514762374/
Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/
Stepparents can play a powerful role in the lives of children. But dealing with teenagers is a very different matter. Even if you've been in your stepkids' lives for years, the onset of adolescence can change how they see their relationship to you. Dr. Ken talks about the importance of stepparents taking an honest inventory of how the teenager sees them and the ineffectiveness of stepparents unilaterally expecting a teen's acceptance regardless of the circumstances of how they came into the teenager's life. We also review the power that stepparents have and can play in the lives of their stepchildren and much more. Listen if you are a stepparent or if you know someone who is.
Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you!
podcast@feedingthemouth.com
Get the book here: https://www.amazon.com/Feeding-Mouth-That-Bites-You/dp/1514762374/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1667269257&sr=8-1
Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/
By far the number one question parents ask about is managing cell phones. Just when you think you've set some guidelines they go right out the door. What's the best age to allow cell phones? Does Dr. Ken still recommend allowing complete freedom with these things at some point? We cover these and other important things to review with these stupid devices including some thoughts on parents' own usage of cellphones.
Dr. Ken references the "Wait Until 8th" campaign - https://www.waituntil8th.org/
Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you!
podcast@feedingthemouth.com
Get the book here: https://www.amazon.com/Feeding-Mouth-That-Bites-You/dp/1514762374/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1667269257&sr=8-1
Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/
How should parents deal with teenagers when they're having marriage problems? What are the real effects of divorce on teenagers? When and how much should parents talk to their teens about marriage problems or when considering divorce? Today Jessica and Dr. Ken take on these questions and more.
Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you!
podcast@feedingthemouth.com
Get the book here: https://www.amazon.com/Feeding-Mouth-That-Bites-You/dp/1514762374/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1667269257&sr=8-1
Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/
Today we revisit the issue of passing on your own religious priorities to your teenagers. Since the pandemic, attendance at religious services is down significantly among Americans of all faiths. Among Christians, a significant percentage believe that watching church online is equal to church attendance. This drop in regular church or synagogue participation brings a unique challenge to parents who want to influence the faith of their adolescent children. Additionally, we talk about whether parents should require teenagers to attend activities designed for youth when they'd rather just go to service with their parents, what if they tell you they don't even believe in God? We cover these and other aspects of teenagers and faith.
Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you!
podcast@feedingthemouth.com
Get the book here: https://www.amazon.com/Feeding-Mouth-That-Bites-You/dp/1514762374/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1667269257&sr=8-1
Music provided by the great John David Kent! - https://www.johndavidkent.com/
It's been awhile since we talked about pornography and issues surrounding it. Jessica is also worried about anime. Are these two related? Should parents be worried about animated porn images as well as live action videos and images? What is hentai anyway? What is the impact of trying to "lock down" a teenager's access to porn vs. the impact of open communication? We take on these and other issues surrounding harmful, sexually related imagery.
Dr. Ken makes reference to Cindy Gallop's book "Make Love Not Porn." It appears this is no longer available.
Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you!
podcast@feedingthemouth.com
Get the book here: https://www.amazon.com/Feeding-Mouth-That-Bites-You/dp/1514762374/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1667269257&sr=8-1
Music provided by the great John David Kent! - https://www.johndavidkent.com/
Today we talk to Cynthia Yanof, host of the "MESSmerized" podcast, former host of the "Pardon the Mess" podcast and author of her new book, "Life is Messy, God is Good: Sanity for the Chaos of Everyday Life." Always relatable, Cynthia's book shares stories and lessons learned from the vantage point of a wife, mom, former lawyer, foster parent and Christian woman just trying to keep things together. Her honesty and genuine interest in everyone around her draws people to her like a magnet, including Jessica and Dr. Ken, Cynthia is the new best friend that you just met!
You can order Cynthia's book here: https://www.amazon.com/Life-Messy-God-Good-Everyday/dp/0830785337/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&dib_tag=se&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.FpO-LuS7Ai5oyZNB81l-7asYYzhZFnYyOGIopmyTzVALHajKoWGLDx1gXtl_5wCBSxDJIjJ6xZzU1tF6kjWfpsfc6cs1SFbC-JWwRAwxtVR4e-mJ32SSOHicPhIUHjcVkU4jANzkzVa3SH4JtNabgqqAoPA3PaGf0UY79_TDUcbpxAS0wGJbaXwCSunISCHy2b0axBG2pNqdD2C2pyx0Iw.AeupKj1yBCDiNddCRyXUx7xrb3xdXF96k4LwbSodga0&qid=1711833469&sr=8-1
Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you!
podcast@feedingthemouth.com
Get the book here: https://www.amazon.com/Feeding-Mouth-That-Bites-You/dp/1514762374/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1667269257&sr=8-1
Music provided by the great John David Kent! - https://www.johndavidkent.com/
This week we finish our discussion on teens and sociosexuality - an individual's interest in sexual behavior without commitment. Dr. Ken reviews the need to help our daughter's understand the normal differences between male and female sociosexuality. We review the importance of talking to your teens about these differences even though you're sure to get "eye rolls" from a generation that believes everything is about individual differences.
Dr. Ken references the following books:
"The Case Against the Sexual Revolution" - Louise Perry https://www.amazon.com/Case-Against-Sexual-Revolution/dp/1509549994/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&dib_tag=se&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.VQOg_8sw7jb9T-0fFt9KZCudi7AKKInduM-ES9xPDq4fecfnh-xyNUH5_mErzn25V8VZYfgsM40B8bBbH0MuZhUwKGHw8iio8lGPnP9w9PaGdBFZ4oItBrySGW5vLIDLCjre-SlUEoGFvNOECO56WaFPtxp2nJLX9oLy5mLvIkEMw7ynbQ_h5i2DIATK-wsBpllOsL5fjdYk8yo-xeXjDiKARLptoz3P0SShYQrx8So.BPByX1Va2VbaA8yOQ_1T61tIS9n2pE1ZYKrP3SkfAus&qid=1711545656&sr=8-1
"American Hookup" - Lisa Wade https://www.amazon.com/American-Hookup-New-Culture-Campus/dp/0393355535/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2HWS0SCACFO6A&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.W9K4D6-NKQNtoSlI_ReUXRsV_oCd_70Nnq4u93_VjI7IuEspEXW7D-QFY7F2w9HfFzIfkElqGvqPYsP4ogaxHWeX359PKTMFHGBTsntQ8ky3NVWq-RA4H8Xhqe1hZ2WwFElZacMo5-gsrafyy_Ooe0A06lxrPnheI5dzsRiW61nfN6Dm7RwLGVpH3jYYPLmWN4T3aIoxnUxi_2bJApir87RsTOkdqHgX1WbP9u6eDzM.aLTxpOmvbRd9dT_TNohQYHEeSNmlB5daRoecF6oZB4A&dib_tag=se&keywords=american+hookup&qid=1711545789&sprefix=american+hookup%2Caps%2C104&sr=8-1
Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you!
podcast@feedingthemouth.com
Get the book here: https://www.amazon.com/Feeding-Mouth-That-Bites-You/dp/1514762374/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1667269257&sr=8-1
Music provided by the great John David Kent! - https://www.johndavidkent.com/
Are men and women different in their sexual drives and needs? Popular culture seems insistent on portraying men and women's sexual interests as the same. In psychology research, an individual's desire and interest in casual, sexual interaction is known as sociosexuality. This has been studied worldwide and surprise surprise, there are consistent differences between males and females in their levels of sociosexuality. Today is the first part of an important discussion on how to talk to our girls and boys about these differences and the implications this has on how young men and women interact, regardless of ideological insistence otherwise.
Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you!
podcast@feedingthemouth.com
Get the book here: https://www.amazon.com/Feeding-Mouth-That-Bites-You/dp/1514762374/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1667269257&sr=8-1
Music provided by the great John David Kent! - https://www.johndavidkent.com/
What is neurodiversity and what does it mean to be neurodivergent? Today we talk about this broad category that covers autism-spectrum conditions as well as deficits in attention and other cognitive, learning issues. Why is neurodiversity becoming a popular term? Is this a useful category for our kids? Jessica and Dr. Ken talk about the possible drawbacks to this category.
Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you!
podcast@feedingthemouth.com
Get the book here: https://www.amazon.com/Feeding-Mouth-That-Bites-You/dp/1514762374/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1667269257&sr=8-1
Music provided by the great John David Kent! - https://www.johndavidkent.com/
Today we share the second half of our interview with Dr. Miriam Grossman. Grossman is a board certified psychiatrist who has been educating parents about the misinformation that has all but hijacked the fields of psychiatry, psychology and virtually all other human sciences. Dr. Grossman’s practice currently focuses on gender-distressed young people and their parents. She believes that every child is born in the right body. Dr. Grossman is the author of five books and has been translated into eleven languages. She testified before Congress and lectured at the British House of Lords. You might have seen her interview in the documentary "What Is A Woman?"
Be careful when ordering her book as there have been efforts by some to interfere with getting the right book. Best to order from here: https://www.miriamgrossmanmd.com/about-4-2
Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you!
podcast@feedingthemouth.com
Get the book here: https://www.amazon.com/Feeding-Mouth-That-Bites-You/dp/1514762374/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1667269257&sr=8-1
Music provided by the great John David Kent! - https://www.johndavidkent.com/
We are so excited to have one of our heroes join us for an in-depth look at the ideology of gender diversity that is sweeping our country. Dr. Miriam Grossman is a board certified psychiatrist who has been educating parents about the misinformation that has all but hijacked the fields of psychiatry, psychology and virtually all other human sciences. Dr. Grossman’s practice currently focuses on gender-distressed young people and their parents. She believes that every child is born in the right body. Dr. Grossman is the author of five books and has been translated into eleven languages. She testified before Congress and lectured at the British House of Lords. You might have seen her interview in the documentary "What Is A Woman?" We are honored to present this first of a two part discussion.
Be careful when ordering her book as there have been efforts by some to interfere with getting the right book. Best to order from here: https://www.miriamgrossmanmd.com/about-4-2
Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you!
podcast@feedingthemouth.com
Get the book here: https://www.amazon.com/Feeding-Mouth-That-Bites-You/dp/1514762374/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1667269257&sr=8-1
Music provided by the great John David Kent! - https://www.johndavidkent.com/
It's hard to believe how long it's been since we covered alcohol, drugs and vaping. Today we review the important differences between things that are bad for your teen and things that get them intoxicated. That difference is important! Also, Dr. Ken reviews the kind of craziness that can surround even normal sounding teens when they spend a lot of time around drunk kids. We also cover a brand new kind of nicotine delivery system (oh great)!
Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you!
podcast@feedingthemouth.com
Get the book here: https://www.amazon.com/Feeding-Mouth-That-Bites-You/dp/1514762374/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1667269257&sr=8-1
Music provided by the great John David Kent! - https://www.johndavidkent.com/
Today we review yet another news article about increased anxiety in teenagers. What is causing so much anxiety among our teens today? How should parents respond to teenagers who are anxious about the world they face today? When parents worry unnecessarily about every teenage struggle they run the risk of implying their adolescents are powerless to face today's struggles. Dr. Ken focuses instead on the need to parent in ways that empower adolescents and encourage them to face the troubles of their world in ways we parents could never imagine.
Today's episode refers to these articles:
Today’s Teenagers: Anxious About Their Futures and Disillusioned by Politicians - https://www.nytimes.com/2024/01/29/upshot/teens-politics-mental-health.html
How Anxiety Became Content - https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2023/12/therapy-language-anxiety-mental-health/676325/
Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you!
podcast@feedingthemouth.com
Get the book here: https://www.amazon.com/Feeding-Mouth-That-Bites-You/dp/1514762374/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1667269257&sr=8-1
Music provided by the great John David Kent! - https://www.johndavidkent.com/
Does your teenager misread others? Are they able to read the motives and feelings of their peers? This is known as "mentalization." Since the COVID pandemic more and more adolescents are struggling to read others and this effects their peer relationships and all other social interactions. Today we talk about how parents can influence mentalization in their teens and encourage their relationships.
Dr. Ken references David Brooks' book "How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen" https://www.amazon.com/How-Know-Person-Seeing-Others/dp/059323006X/ref=asc_df_059323006X/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=647264363749&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=11579897834764221685&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9026972&hvtargid=pla-1973418059256&psc=1&mcid=2b6838d100a03234bfccdfda564a7ab5
Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you!
podcast@feedingthemouth.com
Get the book here: https://www.amazon.com/Feeding-Mouth-That-Bites-You/dp/1514762374/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1667269257&sr=8-1
Music provided by the great John David Kent! - https://www.johndavidkent.com/
We've had some listeners ask about starting Feeding The Mouth parenting early. You know, like what about that extra responsible, mature 11-year-old? Wouldn't it be better to encourage that kind of behavior with early Planned Emancipation? Dr. Ken's answer may surprise you.
Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you!
podcast@feedingthemouth.com
Get the book here: https://www.amazon.com/Feeding-Mouth-That-Bites-You/dp/1514762374/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1667269257&sr=8-1
Music provided by the great John David Kent! - https://www.johndavidkent.com/
What can parents do when their teenager seems to attract the wrong kind of friends? How is it that some adolescents seem to get in with the "good" kids in their school while others apparently struggle? Today we talk about the somewhat complex issue of teens who hang with the "wrong" sort of friend group. What causes some teens to gravitate to the wrong crowd? What can parents do about it? What about moving your teenager to a new school? We answer these and other questions surrounding teens and the "bad crowd."
Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you!
podcast@feedingthemouth.com
Get the book here: https://www.amazon.com/Feeding-Mouth-That-Bites-You/dp/1514762374/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1667269257&sr=8-1
Music provided by the great John David Kent! - https://www.johndavidkent.com/
NOTE: Today's episode isn't suitable for young children (obviously).
We know it's hard to talk about masturbation with your kids but it's so important that you do. How did we go from a culture that lied about near fatal consequences of masturbation to a culture that celebrates it as some sort of "self-care"? Today we take on the topic of how to address masturbation with your teenagers. When should you bring it up? Who should your son or daughter talk to? This episode isn't for kids to listen to but parents definitely should.
Dr. Ken references the book: "Every Young Man's Battle" https://www.amazon.com/Every-Young-Mans-Battle-Strategies/dp/0307457990/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3OBJ3JH43Z3MJ&keywords=every+young+man%27s+battle&qid=1705425383&sprefix=every+young+%2Caps%2C112&sr=8-1
Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you!
podcast@feedingthemouth.com
Get the book here: https://www.amazon.com/Feeding-Mouth-That-Bites-You/dp/1514762374/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1667269257&sr=8-1
Music provided by the great John David Kent! - https://www.johndavidkent.com/
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5 stars. A voice of sanity in a culture who expects so little of teens. Both an anti-"failure to launch" strategy, and a help for those of us who would be too strict with our teenagers.