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Fifty Shades of Gender
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Fifty Shades of Gender

Author: Esther Lemmens

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We get curious about all things gender, sex and sexuality, as well as relationships, feminism (the inclusive kind), mental health and kink, and all that makes us humans unique and diverse. From body positivity to body dysmorphia, it’s all welcome here. Come with us on a journey of inclusion, acceptance and respect.
44 Episodes
Tara Dax is a biologist, streamer, cosplayer and Trekkie. Tara's pronouns are they/them and they identify as non-binary. Find out what that means to Tara in this episode. As well as geeking out on Star Trek and conlangs (constructed languages), we dive deeper into masculine and feminine. We also talk about finding resonance in pronouns, meaning in a name and connection in a character, and they debunk certain gender arguments people assume are rooted in biology. More on 
Sally Goldner AM is an educator, speaker, leadership consultant and life coach. Sally's pronouns are she/her, and she identifies as a bi/pan introvert & Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) trans woman. Find out what that means to Sally in this episode. We also talk about how our unique personality labels interact with each other, unlearning and unblocking ourselves, balancing the masculine and feminine in leadership by becoming better at receiving and listening, and breaking the binary by queering Tantra. More on 
Evey Winters is a transgender advocate, educator, and hot sauce addict. Evey's pronouns are she/her. She uses the labels transgender and transsexual woman, and also educates about both of these labels. Find out what that means to Evey in this episode. Find out what that means to Evey in this episode. We also talk about identity and how it forms, manhood and womanhood vs masculinity and femininity, metagender (which is what's between cisgender and transgender), learning vs education, how to have conversations about gender, and exploring the uniqueness of womanhood. More on 
Harris is a coach and LGBTQ+ advocate on a mission to educate the general population about gender identity. They're also the host of The Transection Podcast, the third season of which is airing on April 30th. Harris's pronouns are they/them or ey/em. They identify as trans non-binary, agender and trans-masculine. Find out what that means to Harris in this episode.We also talk about doing gender differently, how finding your labels can help you find your people, how much our culture revolves around our reproductive capabilities, finding an unexpected calling as an introvert, and how gender happens to all of us. More on 
Bella's pronouns are she/her, and she is a trans woman – with more emphasis on the woman part than the trans part. Find out what that means to Bella in this episode. We also talk about what affects how we're perceived, how noticing small moments of genuine happiness can help us embrace our identity, finding a name that feels right, what settling into femininity can look like, how films and tv are problematic in hindsight, hurdles on the coming out journey, working through shame, trusting your gut, and accepting your light and your dark, to your bones. More on 
Genevieve is a sex and relationship therapist (in training). Genevieve's pronouns are they/them. They say the easiest terms are non-binary and queer, and they definitely identify as trans as well. Find out what that means to Genevieve in this episode. We also talk about being born into activism, performing womanhood, reframing feminism, women's spaces vs LGBTQ spaces, how what's 'normal' is rigid and idealised when it comes to sex and relationships, teaching consent from a young age, and why we should all consider therapy. More on 
Devi Irony is a dominant and sex worker, as well as an activist and educator in the kink and BDSM scene. Devi's pronouns are they/them, and they are a non-binary person. Find out what that means to Devi in this episode. We also talk about the freedom that can come from embracing a label, how certain body parts are not necessarily gender markers, societal conditioning and standards and playing with gender presentation, how gender fits into BDSM and kink, what 'sex work' can include, kink trends in times of a pandemic, and the importance of touch and human contact. More on 
Charlie Orriss says he would love to be a mental health ambassador one day. Charlie's pronouns are he/him, and he identifies as an FTM (Female To Male) trans man. Find out what that means to Charlie in this episode. We also talk about labels as a protection as well as a hindrance, how gender and mental health go hand in hand, the therapeutic benefits of cosplay, and what Dissociative Identity Disorder can be like. CW: self-harm. More on 
Yas is a journalist and writer based in London. Yas's pronouns are they/them, and they identify as non-binary. Find out what that means to Yas in this episode. We also talk about detaching activities from gender, pre-colonial gender identities, the importance of writing a will and letter of wishes, why it is essential for public health policy to accurately record trans and non-binary gender identities on death certificates (which is currently not possible), and what we CAN do to respect and honour a person's gender identity after they have passed away. CW: death, suicide. More on 
Jareth is a multifaceted transgender creature who dabbles in multiple types of artistic expression and crafting, and is also a professional model. Jareth's pronouns are he/him. He is transgender and also likes to use the labels agenderflux, demiboy and alien. Find out what that means to Jareth in this episode. We also talk about the nuances of gender labels, the difference between gender identity and gender expression, modelling before and after coming out as transgender, what we've made masculine and feminine mean, and turning yourself into a walking piece of art. CW: extreme body modification, surgery. More on 
Cassian's pronouns are they/them and they identify as non-binary and agender. Find out what that means to Cassian in this episode. Cassian started the Gender Census in 2011 and they talk about their main learnings and insights in the nine years of running it. We also talk about finding gender inside (or not), navigating public toilets, passion and experience versus education, the overlap between gender identity and sexual orientation, finding common ground where there appears to only be contradiction and conflict, and microactivism; how small actions can have a big impact. More on 
Rachel Lange is a parent, freelance writer and artist, as well as editor of QueerPGH, a community-led publication out of Pittsburgh. Rachel loves to hear they/them pronouns, but is not offended by she or he if they are well-intended. They are a non-binary queer autistic person. Find out what that means to Rachel in this episode. We also talk about questioning everything and looking at things differently, being gender non-conforming in different cultures, freeing yourself from gender roles, being a non-binary parent, and giving yourself permission to do things the way you want. More on 
Cameron is a Doctor of Computer Science and University Lecturer. Cameron's pronouns are she/her, and she is a newly discovered woman. She refers to herself as female but trans. Find out what that means to Cameron in this episode. We also talk about gender roles in society and relationships, how life has changed after coming out only a month before this conversation took place, and the role of loss in embracing your true self. CW: abuse, death. More on 
31. CN LESTER: trans

31. CN LESTER: trans


CN Lester is a musician, writer, researcher, queer/trans/feminist activist, and author of the book Trans Like Me. CN's pronouns are they/them, and they are a trans person. Find out what that means to CN in this episode. We also talk about the importance of strategy when it comes to gender education, effects of testosterone on the singing voice, books, and the queer history of opera. CW: castration. More on 
Cassie is a writer and public speaker focusing on intersectionality and social justice. She's the founder of Empowered Trans Woman and Smart Sluts, a sex-positive community of women. Cassie's pronouns are she/her, and she is a Latina woman of trans experience. Find out what that means to Cassie in this episode. We also talk about the subtleties and challenges of inclusive language, internalised transphobia, being the best of both worlds, toxic masculinity as a cult, sex positivity and freeing ourselves from shame, female anatomy, consent, and leaving a legacy. CW: suicide, death, rape. More on 
Joe is an educator and trainer on improving inclusivity in workplaces and schools at the Norfolk LGBT+ Project, and he's also an artist running a small business as an illustrator. Joe's pronouns are he/him, and he identifies as a femme boy, non-binary, and trans. Find out what that means to Joe in this episode. We also talk about socialisation and reinforcing gender stereotypes, performing gender versus living gender, medical versus social transitioning, mental health struggles, how being willing to get it wrong is better than staying silent when it comes to supporting people, and the benefits of simplifying life. CW: suicide, self-harm, threat. More on 
Rachel is a keen traveller and regular speaker at tech events, usually on the subject of community building. Rachel's pronouns are she/her, and she's not fond of using gender labels for herself. In her words, she is a woman and identifies as a motorcyclist, a technologist, and many other things. Find out what that means to Rachel in this episode. We also talk about being something versus identifying as something, coming out at work, riding a motorbike, travelling solo, and how safety is a relative thing. To clarify some terminology that is used in the episode: T is short for testosterone. More on 
Ray's pronouns are he/him, and he identifies as a binary transgender man, who also happens to be gay. Find out what that means to Ray in this episode. We also talk about how feminism includes everyone, why some men need reproductive health care, the difference between male and female banter, approaching the gender journey from a neurodivergent perspective, and the distinction between using labels as part of your identity versus part of your journey or experience. CW: suicide, addiction. More on 
Angus Brown (or Annie to her close friends) is a musician and performance poet whose writing is heavily influenced by themes of gender, sexuality and mental health. Angus's pronouns are she/her and she identifies as as a transgender woman and butch lesbian. Find out what that means to Angus in this episode. We also talk about the balance of masculinity and femininity, the evolution of the word ‘lesbian’, that labels can resonate whatever their original meaning, how gender identity influences self-expression, navigating being a teenager again, sexuality and attraction, and that moving from one side of the line of androgyny to the other side is only a small step. More on 
This is another episode that’s different from the usual format. We are reversing roles, so Katy is interviewing Esther as she reflects on conversations she's had with gender-diverse folks, what she's learned about gender, as well as her own journey and how she evolved through it. We talk about what it means to Esther to be cisgender, what gender diversity (or a lack thereof) was like growing up, how the podcast is a way of expressing her identity, recovering perfectionism, Vulcan philosophy, and that in the end, we are all more alike than different. More on 
Comments (2)

Sam Ruddock

Great podcast. Beautifully produced and hosted. Fascinating, perspective enhancing conversations.

Sep 25th

Alex Bauschard

I can see myself in some these examples they were talking about. I feel a little bit more empowered and confident in being more self. Thanks to your guest I love them for coming on to your show.

Jul 29th
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