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Find Your Voice

Author: Aren Deu

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An empowering movement to help you combat your excuses, take control of your life, write your own story & most importantly Find Your Voice.

Whatever your current situation is telling you, it is not the end. It is just a chapter or page in the book of your life. This podcast will interview people from all walks of life who have faced, adversity, anxiety, grief, death, depression, family loss etc but have found a way to persevere and win. They have found their voice & have now started to write their own story.

It will also demonstrate to you that with the right mindset and correct action you too can really start taking control of your life and finding your way in life, at whatever it is that makes you happy.

Finding your voice is about showcasing your true self and making decisions for you, not to please others. It is a metaphor for finding your purpose in life and taking full responsibility and accountability for your future.

It's always been a goal to change the world, but I can't do this alone. I need your help. Join the movement and let’s share our stories to not only find our own voices, but to help others too.

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104 Episodes
"My only regret in life was not talking" by DeanDean is an open book and one whos story gives hopes, encouragement and strength to anyone battling with mental health. As it is mental health awareness week, it was important to get this episode out today. Dean battles with bi polar disorder on a daily basis and is consistently working on being kind to himself and encouraging others to speak more about what is going on in their lives. A full transparent individual who shares not only his struggles but also his processes to help give tangible takeaways and steps to lift yourself out of the darker days that we all experience.A personal trainer, a father, an ex army veteran and a friend, Dean is not just someone with bi polar. He is much more than that, just as you are all much more than your job titles, or the tags that people put on you. Be more, become more and learn about yourself as we go through this find your voice journey to truly become a better version and master or at least control your mental and physical well being to the best of your ability.I urge you all to follow Deans story, not just because it is mental health awareness week, but also because his story is authentic and powerful and full of tangible insights (such as the 4 steps of resilience) to coping with our daily battles much better.Also do not forget to check out our new sponsor: Key timestamps:[04:15] PTSD Diagnosis & Dean wanting to commit suicide[10:00] Deans perspective on gratitude[13:05] Deans morning routine[22:00] Bi polar disorder - Who is Dean?[31:10] 4 steps of resilience[40:00] We all have a choiceBuy The 4 hour work week: Essentialism: Buy Mindset by Carol Dweck the podcast: Links to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: to Dean:Website: https://www.nuelementconditioning.netInstagram: See for privacy and opt-out information.
"My lifes journey" - by Martika WhyllyMartika, is most certainly finding her voice in the midst of the adversity and uncertainty many of us are currently experiencing. But what is more interesting about Martika's story is the fact her voice is now being used to speak about the adversities she has witnessed in her life. Seeing her mother commit suicide, her cousin sister do the same and losing many loved ones in such a short succession, Martika recognised there was a process to grieving. Sadly grief will catch us all at one point, whether it comes unexpectedly or whether it creeps into our lives.However, the way we are in today's society we rarely actually think or know how we should grieve. What are we meant to feel? How are we meant to act? How long does the grieving process take? Fortunately Martika has researched and dived into this aspect of her life in an attempt to shed light for those who may experience similar adversities in their own lives, giving them processes and tools to help them cope with grief better via her platform: Also do not forget to check out our new sponsor: Key timestamps:[04:20] Martikas story[06:55] What happens when we lose someone?[12:27] Martikas experience with losing her mother to suicide[17:35] Living with gratitude[24:20] Martikas personal journey & book of dealing with death and griefBuy The 4 hour work week: Essentialism: Buy Mindset by Carol Dweck the podcast: Links to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: to Martika:Website: See for privacy and opt-out information.
Growing up in a single parent home, with no bedroom to call his own, Ruben intrinsic desire was to do more and become more. Through learning & going on his own journey of finding his voice, Ruben has become self aware enough to know what he needs to do. In addition he knows what he wants too. This is a fascinating story of a guy who has never let his struggles, or anxieties define him or his potential. Eager to grow through what he is going through he continues to strive to ensure he leaves it all out there and reaches the success he has so clear in his mind.It was my pleasure getting to know Ruben on this more so as I was encouraged by his willingness to not sell himself, or share this narrative that he had it all figured out. He is just like any of us, the listeners, the guests, myself who are just learning as we go along the journey. It is this authenticity that warms me towards me and encourages you all to follow him on his journey.Also do not forget to check out our new sponsor: Key timestamps:[04:00] Why Ruben does what he does?[16:50] Rubens vulnerability during lockdown[22:10] The things we lack, we often want more[27:10] Rubens biggest fear[35:00] Rubens message to listeners and his younger selfBuy The 4 hour work week: Essentialism: Buy Mindset by Carol Dweck the podcast: Links to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: to Ruben:Website: https://www.iamrubenalvarez.comInstagram: (podcast): See for privacy and opt-out information.
"Forgiving the person that almost killed me, was the greatest thing in my life" by Aren Deu #100This is my story, a story I promised you all I would deliver for the 100th show. It is about forgiveness and it will connect many dots when go back and listen to my episodes about why I started this podcast, what made me who I am today and why the worst day of my life was actually in hindsight the best. I dont preach about adversity being a gift, for no reason, I truly 100% believe it is or at least can be your biggest gift.I sincerely hope you enjoy this episode, and if you have the ability to forgive, please do.Also do not forget to check out our new sponsor: [Notes - My Speech at Toastmasters, the only time I ever shared this story]Toast master, fellow toast masters most welcome guests.Today I’m going to share something I have never shared with anyone before.I am going to tell you Why getting assaulted & left for dead was the greatest thing that ever happened to me…But first let me take you back to a simpler time.You see growing up I would never have imagined myself doing the things I now do.Growing up life was easy, simple and carefree. I didn’t have to overthink things and I could just dream.And dreaming I did!Now I don’t know about any of you but as a child I always loved action films and fightingFrom Bruce Lee to Jackie Chan to theKarate Kid to Van Damme...I loved it and wanted to be like them.But my favourite of all action stars was the Italian stallion Rocky Balboa and my first ever real life goal was to become the world heavy weight champion of the world.But sadly, I was unable to participate in Boxing due to suffering with convulsions as a child so it wasn’t allowed.Plus I had to get a degree for my parents to make them proud.However fast forward 25 years, with a degree under my belt It was now my time to go and pursue my dreams.I spent the next 2 years training 3 x a day 7 days a week.I lost 42lbs in my first 7 weeks of trainingI went from being unable to run 50m, to running 7 miles straight at 6 minutes a mile.I was ready!And to confirm this my trainer told me I was too!He called me in one day and spoke about the novice nationals I could attend. I remember the feeling of finally being able to achieve my dreams even though I was told I was 15 years too late to the scene.I also remember looking to the left and seeing past champions and imagining my photo on the wall right next to them. Of course id have to move a few of them across but there was room for me, I just knew it!However, as I departed the gym that night full of happiness, relief, excitement and just an overwhelm of emotion I was oblivious to the fact that it would be the last time I was to ever step foot into the ring again.You see on the September of that same year 2 months before nationals, I went out for my bday reluctantly. I had a very strict diet but as 60 of my friends graced me with their presence and presents, I found myself getting rather drunk!Fast forward 3 hours of laughing and catching up with people I had hardly seen due to my boxing commitments I found myself in true Aren style falling asleep.You see most people when they get tipsy fall over, dance, or do crazy things. Me? Well I just fall asleep.Only this time I had gone out for air and fallen asleep on the pavement outside.My sleep was disrupted and short-lived, as I was woken up by my neck and head jolting back violently.You know how they say alcohol numbs pain?Well this was the most painful 3.5 minutes of my life, physically and mentally.I could taste blood in my mouth, see it stream into my eyes but unable to wipe it away due to my hands not moving.Why wasn’t they moving.I was paralysed.I had no idea if it was the alcohol or the concessions from the shot but I was met with fists, elbows, knees, running kicks and continuous laughter from the two guys who assaulted me, one more than the other.I pleaded and asked why I was being assaulted, I had no real idea as to what was happening and then I remember my last few words as I believed in that time, I am going to die here.“I cried for my mom, and within seconds I was passed out, only this time from an unprovoked assault”I was woken up in a pool of blood and doctors told me I had sustained remarkable injuries but somehow nothing life threatening. Despite the 60+ cuts and bruises I was ok!Or at least they thought.You see I then struggled for the next 2 years living a life of resentment and fear. I had nightmares daily and went to bed bitter and angry at the world, the police for never really helping me, my friends for being too busy drinking inside and myself for getting into that state.I spent these years being someone I was ashamed off, a victim, in a victims mentality.However fast forward 2 years from the incident, I made a life changing decision. You see prior to that I had listened to a podcast that changed my life.Do you ever get that feeling when you watch or listen to something that they are speaking directly to you?Well this guy was. In fact his story was so similar it was unreal. The funny thing is I can’t recall the episode now and sometimes question myself as to whether it was real or I simply imagined it.However it worked. The podcast spoke about forgiveness and how this individual, who I believed was me at the time went on to change his life once he forgave the person who assaulted him.So with that I did the same. I sent a message to the person forgiving them and explaining everything that was in my thoughts. I forgave them for me, not them.That was the most liberating thing I have ever truly done you see,Since then I regained control of my life living a victor mentality!You see since then I have:- Trained 1000+ clients from a health and fitness benefit having learnt so much during my boxing years.- Married my best friend and soul mate, someone who I never had time for during my boxing years. What a mistake that would have been.- Ive conquered my biggest fears of public speaking as I deliver this to you all today.- Learned the power of forgiveness and practice this daily.- Dived into the property world and became financially free to allow me to live a life of passion and purpose and work on my own terms.- I also have my very own podcast which has been listened to in 20 countries and downloaded over 2000+ times in less than a month.You see In hindsight I would never go back and erase that night from my life, as it taught me so much about myself and the person I have grown into today.It has made me stronger, more compassionate, more forgiving and overall a better servant to the world.Maybe I could have done this through boxing, who knows but for now I am truly fulfilled and in the best place I could possibly be in.Night crushed my dreams but I created buffers onesMy name is Aren Deu and I thank you all for listening to me today.Buy The 4 hour work week: Essentialism: Buy Mindset by Carol Dweck the podcast: Links to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: See for privacy and opt-out information.
"Support, encourage & challenge" by Rock ThomasAlso do not forget to check out our new sponsor: featured on mind valley, goalcast, EoFIRE, Tony Robbins, Wheelbarrow profits, the Gazette and the Bigger Pockets! Rock Thomas joins us on find your voice to share his incredible story and help you all on your journey of finding your voice and moving forward towards achieving your goals.The way we see ourselves can massively determine our success in life and Rock Thomas speaks about the importance of this, along with all the incredible mindset that he has developed throughout his life of figuring out the next steps in the midst of adversity. This is a true story of someone who had two choices. To become a victim, or to become a victor and thankfully for us here on find your voice and the world Rock Thomas chose to become the latter and really make everyday an opportunity to better himself, serve the world and deliver his great teachings and wisdom.Some key timestamps:[03:10] Finding your path[06:20] Support encourage and challenge model[14:10] Life is about growth[19:00] Feed and energise yourself to change yourself[24:45] Exposing your weakness[30:14] Choose how you see yourself[35:25] Feeling like he did not belongBuy The 4 hour work week: Essentialism: Buy Mindset by Carol Dweck the podcast: Links to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: to Rock Thomas:Website: clip: page: See for privacy and opt-out information.
"Live fully, love wholeheartedly and rest intentionally" By Dr Saundra Dalton-SmithAn incredible episode with an expert in her field helping people all over the world recover their best selves and live a happier and healthier life. There are some tanigible takeaways to restoring our energy and selves to really become our best selves once again.Who would have also thought there were so many types of restorative habits that we all have. Yet having them and knowing we have them are not always the case, which often leads to burnout amongst many people. Saundra shares her wisdom in this episode to ensure none of us go through burnout, or none of us leave this isolation period in a worse mental and physical state. We want you to leave this isolation period fully restored and ready to manage your overall health in all aspects such as:PhysicalmentalspiritualEmotionalsocialsensorycreativityKey timestamps:[03:10] Recognising burnout in her career[10:15] The struggles of burnout and impact on family[11:00] Passive and Active rest[15:25] Habits Dr Saundra uses to help with burnout and social rest deficit[20:10] Dr Saundras biggest fear today[25:35] Choose your best lifeI urge you to check her materials and resources out and follow her amazing jouney!Also do not forget to check out our new sponsor coming soon: The 4 hour work week: Essentialism: Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset the podcast: & check out our new sponsor: to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: to Dr Saundra:Website: https://www.Ichoosemybestlife.comSacred Rest book: See for privacy and opt-out information.
How to stop feeling guilty, even when we know we have so many things to be grateful for.Remember you are not alone if this is you! I promise you. Try and use this 4 step process to help you stop feeling that guilt when it arises and know those emotions will pass:Transcript:So if your anything like me, sometimes you have those days where things are just off!Now "feeling off", I do believe is a technical term used to convey disinterest or enthusiasm.But even then it can get even worse, where you feel low, sad, grumpy, angry, dissatisfied, anxious, frustrated, unhappy etc..Now if I told you this was normal and its okay, you’d think I’m just being nice. Now depending on where you fall on the self awareness spectrum, a spectrum I have just created right this secondYou would either be:1. Oblivious to those off days2. Feeling guilty about having those daysNow I really want to focus on the second point here! Because many of us who are aware of these days, have no idea where they start, why they happen and why they ruin our mood! Many of us then feel extremely guilty for feeling bad, or moaning because we know deep down that if you are able to listen to this podcast, our life in the grand scheme of things is pretty good! You see, we can easily compare ourselves with those, who are less fortunate, possess less, have less or see less. Yet still sometimes writing that down and being grateful just isn’t enough! You still want to moan, feel lousy, eat chocolate, drink a beer and just wallowing self-pity.Now although I don’t advocate this, especially for a consistent period, I will say 2 things:1. Its 100% okay to have those days, where you know your life is great, but you still feel shitty. You are allowed to feel shitty or experience such emotions.2. Your pain, or what you are experiencing is still real to you.Yes I understand emotions come and go, just like seasons and night and day. But sometimes its very difficult to shake it off and just go back to the super version of yourself.So here're some recommendations I think can massively help you:1. Acknowledge it! Once you acknowledge it, you now get at least be self aware enough to recognise that this has happened before and is happening now. It may also happen again next week. Now what do you want to do about it? Do nothing? Do it! Do your favourite things? Do them! Not do the things you want to do ? Don't do them! This is your time to just have a sulk!2. Allocate a stop loss. So as much as I urge you to vent or wallow in step 1, I also need you to put a stop loss on this moment. It can not go on forever. This is not the podcast for that, this is the podcast for us going on a journey of self discovery and improvement each one of my words reach your ears. So set it. It can be 5 minutes, 5 hours, but please lets not do 5 days! Less than 24 hours please!3. Acceptance. Sometimes we have to forgive ourselves when this happens. If we knew it was going to happen, and prepared we wouldn’t feel bad. But sadly it comes at the time we least expect it and really causes a stir. On top of that the aftermath is where we beat ourselves up on how we shouldn’t feel guilty and how we should be super perfect! Nobody is perfect, sorry.4. Assessment. Maybe once this happens a few times, you start to recognise why? Was it every time you drank perhaps? The high extremes of joy and dancing, to the lows of a hangover and a lack of energy with a storming headache. Or perhaps every time you’re around someone, who just doesn’t add to your life? Could that be it? Perhaps. Either way the more you understand yourself, your triggers, your habits the better chance you have at being better equipped next time around.So that’s just 4 swift ways I waned to share with you because a lot of people funnily enough have messaged me feeling guilty for feeling the way that they are.Listen, until we know better and can do better, we are all just learning this thing called life. There is no-one out there so in tune with their self that they never have these days.We all have bad days. We all have days, when everything in our life regardless of how well it is going still feel completely off. There is nothing wrong with you, or about the way you think. Please know that.I hope you are all staying safe and urge you all to check the out too :)Also do not forget to check out our new sponsor coming soon: Audible book sign up: book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset the podcast: & check out our new sponsor: to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: See for privacy and opt-out information.
"Alcohol saved my life" - Nancy Legere #96Healing from trauma, being compassionate to others and forgiving ourselves are just some of the incredible points we tackle in this episode. Nancy bravely shares her story of childhood abuse and speaks about the things so many of us, who have gone through adversity need to know and do. We all need to heal, we all need to forgive ourselves and we all need to continue to shine our light on the world and find our voice.From reading her forward in her book, I myself was in tears. Unable to comprehend how people can openly abuse or hurt others is still beyond me, but one thing I know is, that is on them! For anyone who may feel they are the fault, of any abuse or trauma, you are not. Nobody has the right to make you feel any less a person or to abuse your boundaries. I am also so grateful to have met Nancy as she is such a beautiful person who I felt a deep connection with via our talk.I urge you all to check her book out and to use the lessons we bravely discuss in this episode to help yourselves move forward and heal from this trauma too.Important time stamps:[07:10] The importance of speaking about trauma (finding your voice)[20:11] What to do if you are going through trauma[29:30] Finding the silver lining in our adversity[36:00] Would life be easier with adversity?Also do not forget to check out our new sponsor coming soon:, Covid-19, Coronavirus is just a phase of adversity we are all capable of overcoming and prospering from.Buy The 4 hour work week: Essentialism: Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset the podcast: & check out our new sponsor: to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: to Nancy:LinkedIn: in the shadows book: See for privacy and opt-out information.
"Join up dots" by David Ralph #95David Ralph is living life on his own terms. Doing the things he loves & avoiding those he don't. But it wasn't always this way. David like many of us has gone through the motions of life, often neglecting his health. Spinning his wheels for things that don't light him up, fill him up with joy and just to get a pay cheque. But this all changed when David took a plunge and jumped into the entrepreneurial space.Managing his own online businesses and running and hosting the successful Join Up Dots podcast, with over 2,000 episodes of GOLD, David now works on his own terms.. at least for the majority of the week.We discuss the 4 hour week and how books can change your life, minimalism, finding your joy and just enjoying the process along the way. So often we spend too long on the noise of the world, and we must instead look at the things that keep us thriving and wanting to put those long hours in.With a week away from uploading any episodes we are now back and ready to bring you some incredible episodes to help you move forward to find your voice & write your own story.If you enjoyed it or found it useful, let me know! Also drop by the YouTube channel as we have content everyday going out now to help you.Audio versions of the Find Your Voice episodes, video recordings of some episodes, animations telling stories, giving tips and much much more!Also do not forget to check out our new sponsor coming soon:, Covid-19, Coronavirus is just a phase of adversity we are all capable of overcoming and prospering from.Buy The 4 hour work week: Essentialism: Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset the podcast: & check out our new sponsor: to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: to guest:David Ralph: See for privacy and opt-out information.
Motivation comes in dribs & drabs! In fact, it seems to elude us when we need it most & appear when we can't use it as effectively. Ever get that moment of motivation after a few beers but know deep down you won't execute there and then and even less likely too, in the morning with hangover? Then on the flip side you know you need to work out but it's becoming increasingly difficult to get your body and mind to adhere to your wishes and instead you excuse yourself, let yourself off the hook and tell yourself, you will do better tomorrow?Well this is why I hope this short bite sized episode will help you at least find another resource to add to your tool kit and get yourself doing things, to execute your goals, overcome your adversity and be happier!So as I wrote these shownotes, I recognised my Morbid motivation videos are only on my Instagram profile. However I will be uploaded a YouTube version in the upcoming weeks if you want more clarrity on this. I spoke about this at Toastmasters too and it helped me win an award for the best speech.If you enjoyed it or found it useful, let me know! Also drop by the YouTube channel as we have content everyday going out now to help you.Audio versions of the Find Your Voice episodes, video recordings of some episodes, animations telling stories, giving tips and much much more!Also do not forget to check out our new sponsor coming soon:, Covid-19, Coronavirus is just a phase of adversity we are all capable of overcoming and prospering from.Free Audible book sign up: book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset the podcast: & check out our new sponsor: to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: See for privacy and opt-out information.
As we are raising awareness for domestic violence week, this episode could not have come at a more important time. Teaira has only known adversity for the majority of her life, but due to her mindset, resilience and experience she has become an expert at overcoming it. Putting this down to her perspective and persistence Teaira does not just share an emotive sad story. There is a huge underlying theme of hope.She has proven that regardless of the hands, you are dealt, the decision to change the rest of your life is still yours. The choice, that power, that decision should never be taken for granted. Teaira is now operating from such a higher place of self-worth and consciousness she is helping others overcome their adversities too.I know you will enjoy this, trademark Find Your Voice style episode & I encourage you all to let me know your feedback after listening.Thanks for stopping by.Also do not forget to check out our new sponsor coming soon: Audible book sign up: book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset the podcast: & check out our new sponsor: to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: See for privacy and opt-out information.
I sympathise with anyone at this time. Noone is unaffected but and as I always state about our problems not being exclusive to ourselves, there is no truer realisation for us all that, that is the case.However, conscious that loneliness and self-isolation can increase the pressures on our mental health during this period of corona virus (Covid-19) I want to try to help you with 10 things you can do that will massively help you during these testing times.Prior to listening to this, you may want to check the last episode out which has a further 10 hacks, that will help you during this pandemic too. My goal is to ensure you do not lose momentum or suffer alone in these times. So I sincerely hope these help you.Check out Thursdays episode: things everyone can do during isolation - social distancing for your mental health1. Get help from your local governments. Money along with health is the most feared concept for all people. For its not a concern, but for many it is. So in these times, reach out to your local governments as they will have many ways they can help you. Direct debits etc can also be reduced or stalled from car finance companies etc to really help you during this moment of uncertainty.2. Start with gratitude, isolation is not the end. Isolation is protecting ourselves, but just as importantly protecting those who are vulnerable. I believe with all of my heart if you listen to my podcast, you are like me. You care just as much for others as you do for yourself. If you didn’t, I wouldn’t imagine you’d be sticking around for long. So gratitude for us is a must. We should be grateful we are in a position to help others (even through technically doing nothing). We should be grateful for having a roof over our heads, access to water and toilets/showers. The ability to connect via FaceTime, Skype, WhatsApp or mobiles to all our loved ones too.3. Read some books. Or if you’re like me listen to them. This is a time to enhance your mind without the pressures of being somewhere else or having to do anything else. Books allow us to time collapse our journeys, change our perspectives and just develop. If you want recommendations please let me know, although most of my books are non-fiction personal developments. But even if its a fiction book, knock off those slippers kick back and read to your hearts content.4. Watch this is us. Now I am obviously looking for an endorsement but this show has been incredible. It looks at all the different obstacles and adversities we face in life, from parenting, to racism, to self-image, confidence etc Yet the messages are beautifully scripted and acted out. I literally leave each show with my heart full and head bursting with ideas for blogs and podcast shows to hopefully help you all.5. Recharge your batteries. So often in life we are on autopilot and rarely take a step back to look at our well-being. This is time to sit back, re assess your life and see if the story you are writing is one you want to continue to writing. Would you be happy doing this for the next 10-15 years? If no, then you have such a huge possibility to change your future by starting today. 5 years ago today I would have believed I had to work till I was 65, yet here I am able to connect with you all and do the things that fill my heart more than anything in the world. It took blood sweat and tears but it started with the decision to do so. You have that power to make the decision now, even if you think you don’t.6. Clean! If you’re a guy, do some handy work around the house and clean. You will get yourself some brownie points, but you also have a cleaner house & decluttering helps with your mind space.7. Skype/Zoom people. This is crucial, because although it won’t replace physical social interaction we need to communicate with people, and we do not want to suffer with loneliness. So reach out to your loved ones. Hey reach out to me! I am always active on Instagram and ill try to reach back out to you too.8. Journal. If you are suffering with anxiety in this time, journaling is my #1 tool for combatting overwhelm and anxious feelings. Just throw anything and everything in your head onto paper and watch your brain feel lighter, mood get brighter and smile get wider over time. Its powerful beyond belief!9. Start your day with Find Your Voice Podcast!10. Learn something new. Okay so to date we probably learnt a few celebrities have got coronavirus and that its taking over the world, with people snatching toilet rolls and doing all sorts of crazy habits. Well the time you spend, reading the same information that will only add to your anxiety, perhaps you could randomly research something you’re interested about? How about brain health? How about the benefits of adversity? Or how to cook pad thai? How to exercise at home? It can truly be anything, but time I something we will never got back. Skill sets and new learnings are also things we will always have. SoAlso do not forget to check out our new sponsor coming soon:, Covid-19, Coronavirus is just a phase of adversity we are all capable of overcoming and prospering from.Free Audible book sign up: book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset the podcast: & check out our new sponsor: to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: See for privacy and opt-out information.
"Always try to Control the Controllables" by Aren Deu #91In a time of huge uncertainty, where fear is upon many of us, and we often feel helpless, defenceless and desperate we need to ensure we regain control of our lives. We need to eliminate our excuses irrespective of how good or true they may be. We need to overcome this adversity and move forward in life. The best way to do this, is to truly control the controllables and recognise that in the midst of this current climate, with Corona (COVID-19) taking its toll on the world, we still have so much control of the rest of our lives. Our thoughts, bodies and minds are still within our control should we recognise this and work towards ensuring we master it.I urge you all to just listen to this episode or check out the YouTube and really use this time to benefit your life moving forward. If I can help in anyway please do not hesitate to reach out.1. Your sleep routine is so crucial.2. Your nutrition, both hydration and the food you consume.3. How to speak to yourself (especially if your self-isolated). Your thoughts impact your emotions & actions.4. What you choose to listen and watch (I am all for Netflix, and Amazon) but I am so against things that do not serve my mindset.5. How you look after your physical body (Exercise at home) ?6. How you treat others (a dog eat dog world). Let's not act like animals and be kinder and more compassionate and not let desperation take over our values.7. Future proof yourself, if this happens (Formulate a plan and ensure if you are struggling this does not happen again. We have to learn from our moments of adversity and circumstances)8. Levels of gratitude more so now than ever.9. Learn a new skill. Language, online course or something you’ve always wanted to do. Write, blog, podcast do it today!!Covid19, Covid-19, Corona Virus is just a phase of adversity we are all capable of overcoming and prospering from.Also do not forget to check out our new sponsor coming soon: Audible book sign up: book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset the podcast: & check out our new sponsor: to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: See for privacy and opt-out information.
"You don't need to have it all figured out, you just need to realise your strengths, trust your gut & take action" by Betitina Árnafjall #90Bettina states the following:"It's my heart's desire to share the many experiences I made in my eight years as a team manager to help all you women out there to avoid mistakes, change your mindset and behavior and take your career to the next level" and through this fascinating discussion you can see exactly why.Suffering with confidence issues throughout her own life, imposter syndrome and never really having it all figured out she continued to pursue her desire and develop her passion into serving others. Recognising that none of us have it all figured out, and we all have our doubts and moments of uncertainty she still persevered. She also recognised it was her action and commitment to the process that allowed her to achieve the results she is achieving today.Some areas she specialises in or speaks about are:Confidence is key for your careerDon't confuse loyalty and a false sense of dutyYour career doesn't need to be a "career"The top 5 job search Dos and Don'tsTop 5 things to promote your career as a womanAre there unsuitable jobs for women?The gender gap - a team manager's perspectiveHow not to get paid less as a womanHow to research a realistic salarySalary negotiation tipsHow to get a raiseThis was a fascinating conversation and fortunately we managed to get it recorded this time around.Some Key Time stamps:[02:50] Bettina's own struggles with confidence[07:30] Doing things even when you aren't sure[11:50] My own imposter syndrome with podcasting[23:35] Migraines ruining Bettina's life[29:50] Fun part of the show[33:00] Bettinas final message - How to be successful without a master planI urge you all to follow her journey & check out our new sponsor: Audible book sign up: Carol Dweck Mindset 5 Minute journal: the podcast: to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.comYouTube: to Bettina:Instagram: : See for privacy and opt-out information.
"We all lack confidence in certain areas of our life" - Aren Deu #875 Ways to Build Confidence Part 2If you haven't already, you may want to check out i discussed the first 5 things to help build confidence. To quickly recap these included:1 getting things done, 2 exercising, 3, staying true to your word, 4 ensuring you don’t get overwhelmed and 5 recognising the lack of confidence is not exclusive to you and we all, in certain areas of our lives experience it.But please do obviously check it out for an in-depth 10-minute explanation.But for this episode, these are the 5 ways (well 6, with the bonus tip) to help you build your confidence.6. Preparation. One of the ways I managed to handle my public speaking fear, was to be incredibly prepared. Now there is a well known fact that even the most confidence amongst us, such as French Prince of Bel-Air who we all loved and adored if you were an 80/90s baby, can be seen whispering the lines of every single person in the episode before his own lines. Why? It was his first major gig at acting, he wanted to make sure he didn't make mistakes or mess up his opportunity, so he prepared!! For many of us, a lack of confidence can be due to a lack of competencies or knowledge so the best way to get over this, is too just over prepare! I've done it, I still do it and I promise you it will hugely enhance your confidence7. Improve your posture. There is a psychological and physiologically benefits to improving one's posture. If you are trying to negotiate something, or get a point across but you have your shoulders slouched, back hunched over like the dude from Notre dam you are likely 1 not going to portray a confident person, but 2 not even feel it. Put those shoulders back, work on your eye contact and pump that chest out. It may feel stupidly awkward by the way, initially but it's empowering once you recognise people start to take more notice of you.8. Music! Yes, music is one of the best things for our minds and bodies if we choose the right tracks, to empower us. I don’t know about you, but there are some songs that I feel I can genuinely take on the world after it. Either for their lyrics the beat or just the feeling of when I first ever heard that song. I call these power songs. Find your power songs and get them ready before you need to be more confident. Now being fully transparent here, I do this on the way to football matches, or when I spar in boxing because sometimes my anxiety and own self doubts can cripple my performances, but if I can get those tunes playing at the right time, I am usually unstoppable! Okay, that’s an exaggeration, but I usually feel proud of myself as I gave my all without self sabotaging my performance before I even step into the ring or on the field.9. Visualise. There is something magical about visualisation and maybe ill do a podcast on this separately in more depth. But your imagination has the power to boost your confidence massively. Experts believe that mental visualisation practices such as delivering the perfect speech, hitting that home run, successful getting a new client etc, can prepare your brain for the outcome and give you that sense of achievement. Combined with positive affirmations of how you can achieve this, are worthy of achieving this, you can literally accomplish it in your head, mind and body before you actually go out there and do it. Which you will!10. Do something difficult. There is something special about learning to become comfortable whilst actually being uncomfortable. We will never improve ourselves or you will never truly find your voice if you remain in your comfort zone. We need to stretch it, push it, step outside it and learn to wonder in a bit of uncertainty, a bit of uncomfortable to really grow as humans. Overtime, if you consistently do this to yourself, you will quickly start to fell unstoppable and recognise that the things you used to think were impossible, or were going to kill you, harm you, or scare you senseless actually didn’t turn out so bad after all!And just because I think a 3 part episode would be an overkill, I’ve taken 1 more confidence boosting tip to truly help move forward and find your voice:11. Smile at random people. I tried this exercise a few weeks back, but I started in comfortable places like the local gym, where everyone is so polite anyway. So rather than avoiding eye contact like I so often do, I started to look at people in the eyes and just push those cheek up and flash a smile. And guess what? I didn’t die. I didn’t get called a weirdo. I didn't break out in a sweat. I actually got welcoming greetings and smiles back. The benefit of all of that? I had a great work out and more importantly was in such a great mood for the remainder of the day… Smiling is contagious and as much as those people made my day, id like to think my awkward smile did the same!Free Audible book sign up: book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset the podcast: & check out our new sponsor: to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: See for privacy and opt-out information.
"Over 75% have developed mental illness by the age of 18" by Bobby Temps #88A face to face conversation with one of today's, local mental health advocates who is making huge positive changes in the space. Delighted to welcome Bobby Temps, the host of the Podcast entitled: Mental - The Podcast to Destigmatise Mental Health on to Find Your Voice where I got to know the man himself. Always intrigued as to why people do what they do, I wanted to understand why Bobby does the work he does, for mental health and also to understand where these motivators came from.This was an insightful and thought-provoking interview where we delved into many areas. We discussed the pressures society can place upon us. The pressures our parents can have on our own mental illness. Anxiety, Depression, Loneliness, Burnout and even body dysmorphia. All these can sometimes be very taboo like and we often navigate around them, rather than discussing them But keen to not just be another Mental Health hashtag episode we promised ourselves and each other we would be 100% open and transparent.Realising that we can all internalise things with a different perspective it is always a goal of mine personally to bring on as many people as possible even within the same bracket of adversity that they often highlight shaped their lives. This will in my hope, help you as listeners gain a different method, or perspective of coping and managing your own life.The beautiful thing with this interview, and something I learned midway through it was that a petition has now been signed with over 196,000 signatures, as I write this to help Some Key Time stamps:[04:45] Destigmatise Mental Health / Mental illness[08:40] Family pressures - Bobby[15:50] Family pressures - Aren[23:40] The statistics around Mental illness[30:30] Positive affirmations around Body Dysmorphia [39:15] Mental illness & Trauma you have experienced[45:00] Fun part of the showI urge you all to follow his journey:Free Audible book sign up: Carol Dweck Mindset 5 Minute journal: the podcast: to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.comYouTube: to Bobby:Facebook Page: Mental recommendations:SamaritansSomeone to talk to who really listens with someone always there to pick up the phone. They do not offer advise but a space to speak anonymously about what is on your mind and can signpost other organisations. There number is free and won’t show up on your phone bill. ​If you are a student Nightline offers a similar services tailored for you and run by student volunteers -​Bias warning- Bobby used to volunteer here!​Counselling ServicesThere is no definitive route to finding the right service for you, so try googling for your local area. Remember you can always go in for a session and you don’t have to go back if you feel uncomfortable. The NHS also offers counselling but this is in part dependant on your personal situation and there is usually a waiting list.​The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy has a directory for support services on their website with a wide range of - 'We help millions of people affected by mental illness by challenging attitudes and lives with information and practical advice.'​ - ‘We're Mind, the mental health charity. We're here to make sure no one has to face a mental health problem alone.’​ - ‘We are a growing movement of people changing how we all think and act about mental health problems.’Services relating to topics we coverFor a far broader list of services visit: : starting this petition, we have received support from politicians across the political spectrum and it has reached over 195,000 signatures. Plus the Department of Education, Ofsted and the Welsh Assembly are already working to make these changes a reality. When working to reduce stigma, I am continually concerned how a lack of education around mental health is contributing factor. This is something regularly raised as a mutual concern by guests on my mental health podcast plus several of them are actively working to fill this need by doing talks and workshops in schools. With one in four of us experiencing mental illness every year according to the charity Mind, this seems to be a real and very significant gap in our education system. KEY STATISTICS:​- One in ten children aged between 5 and 16 years has been diagnosed with/shows signs of a mental health problem, and many continue to have these problems into adulthood. (1)- Over half of all mental ill health starts before the age of 14 years, and 75% of this has developed by the age of 18. (2)- NHS England estimates that poor mental health costs the NHS and society £105 billion a year in England alone. (3)The statistics are shocking, yet whilst there is a whole subject in the curriculum around our physical health in the form of PE, our young people are left without any knowledge of even the most common mental illnesses.​Not only does this leave them unprepared and vulnerable when it comes to looking out for their own mental health, but also sets the standard that Mental Health is not discussed. This plants a seed of stigma that many carry for their whole lives.​Upon further research, there generally seems very little in the way of guidelines currently. For example, if Romeo and Juliet is studied as part of the curriculum when the two title characters kill themselves, this is considered the end of the story or worse romanticised as an ideal form of love. The very serious topic of suicide is frequently not even mentioned as part of schooling, and yet according to the BBC, suicide is the biggest killer of men under the age of 49.​It’s time to make a change. Even if a law was passed so every child receives one class about mental health during their time at school, this would be more than the vast majority currently get. We are keen to hear back from those in power on a more extensive plan to better the lives of our nation’s young people.​CAMPAIGNING FOR:​- Mental Health education becoming mandatory teaching for all schools in the UK without the addition of any exams or homework on this subject.​- Every child having the ability to access a qualified counsellor through their school. This is something that many workplaces already offer.​- Every school offering Mental Health training for its staff.​ See for privacy and opt-out information.
"We all lack confidence in certain areas of our life" - Aren Deu #87Here are 5 Ways to Build Confidence (Part 2 out next week).So firstly what is confidence?Confidence is the feeling or believe that one can have faith or rely on someone or something. A simple enough definition right?But if you are anything like me, throughout my life some things I’ve really wanted to do, or needed to do i’e just not been confident at, and that sucks!So I’ve dissected this episode into 2 parts, as this topic has 1000s of ways to help you, to build you confidence.So let’s get started:1. Get things done. Funnily enough, confidence is not something many of us can just wish into existence. It requires a bit of growth, uncomfortable moments or actually executing on something. Sounds like a tough deal right? Well not really. You see if you truly want to achieve something you don’t have already, or become someone you aren’t already you have to be willing to put the work in, in order to grow. This is where doing things that you can tick of as accomplishments will build your confidence. Even if it just small things, this matters too. Consistently improving or doing things you wouldn’t usually feel confident about, or shy away from over time will build confidence. A great example? Me doing this recording now, 90 episodes in. It feels easier, I worry that bit less, and I am confident in the message and hopefully that shines through. Hopefully.2. Exercise. Now this list wouldn’t be a list without confidence. You see there is something about exercising that can be transferred across all walks of life. The small incremental increases in strength, speed, power, endurance etc is one thing. But how about, starting something (no-one is naturally a professional at) and spending days, hours on end working on the activity to slowly recognise how much better you become at it, how easier those first sessions would be if you were to mimic those? Plus you also benefit from releasing feel good endorphins, enhance your physical appearance and that in itself enhances one's confidence. Look good, feel good!3. Stay true to your word. This is something that over the years has massively built my own personal confidence. Not only will people respect people that say what they do and do what they say, but the most important person in your life will also respect that too. Yes YOU! If you can commit to your words via actions, slowly but surely, you will build confidence in yourself. You will see yourself as someone, irrespective of emotions and feelings, will go out there and do exactly what they say they will do. Do this long enough, you will be as confident as they come.4. Don’t overwhelm yourself. It is easy to want to be confident today, especially if you really suck at it. But it’s a process. Just like finding your voice hey! It takes time, hours, days months or even years. But if you can be patient and remain consistent enough confidence will in itself start to show. I never liked public speaking, and although I have many things I'd prefer to do, I manage it okay now. I never liked taking on the phone, could you believe that? And now, phone calls aren’t too scary. But it takes time, sadly this episode alone won’t just suddenly make you confident5. Know that you aren’t alone. Everyone is confident at certain things and everyone is not so confident at others. We often look at people within the thing we want to pursue or become confident and think that person is incredible. Almost put them on a pedestal assuming they are confident at life as a whole. This is far from the truth. For example. I am confident in physical activities, way more than I am in speaking activities. Yet I am more confident in boxing than I would be in cricket. I am more confident interviewing guests than being a guest myself. We all have particular things that we shine in and others we don't. So the key is to ensure we don’t beat ourselves up and know that everyone has their own journey and everyone has to build confidence in the things that matter or are required for them.Free Audible book sign up: book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset the podcast: & check out our new sponsor: to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: See for privacy and opt-out information.
"You are NOT your Anger" by Alexander Walker #86Alexander Walker, is a clinical hypnotherapist who works with clients who have or are experiencing depression, bipolar, anxiety and stress. But he fell into this line of work due suffering depression himself, struggling with his own anger and realising he never quite fitted in. Eager to now help others, having dug himself out of his own hole, Alexander helps people on a daily basis. He kindly joined us on the show today, where he shared methods for reducing anxiety and overwhelm; managing anger management and more important recognising that our thoughts are not us. Our emotions are not us. We are not moments of our life, we are much more than that. This insightful perspective of looking at how we often criticise or judge ourselves, can increase our happiness almost instantly.It is for that reason, I encourage you all to listen to this episode, maybe even watch it on YouTube where it is not edited and has a few extra bits thrown in. It will teach you to manage your emotions and thoughts much better, which in turn will enhance your life, improve your happiness and help you find your voice.Let me know your thoughts, and be sure to share this on social media and share it with anyone you feel could benefit from the wisdom Alexander shared.Some Key Time stamps:[04:30] Understanding my own Depression - Alexander[09:00] Controlling your thoughts & bringing in a new experience[14:00] Dealing & Understanding your Anger problems[17:55] Why some people act in a "bad" way[25:30] You are responsible for your world - The HO-OPON-OPONO Technique[31:10] Acknowledge the small wins in your life + Your Journey MattersI urge you all to follow his journey:Free Audible book sign up: Carol Dweck Mindset 5 Minute journal: the podcast: to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.comYouTube: to Alexander:Facebook Page: : See for privacy and opt-out information.
"Why do we do what we do?" by Aren Deu #85A bit of a brain dump of an episode here, where I ask you the question "Do you help people because you want to be a hero, or do you want to truly just help people?" The reason behind this however, is that I am intrigued as to why we do what we do.So ask yourself:Do you help people because you want to be a hero? ORBecause you just truly want to actually help?You often see in life, myself included - I am not perfect - we tend to help people for mixed reasons.But more so with social media & with narcissism traits becoming more apparent by the hour, I see people offering help or assistance with a hidden agenda/intent. Not saying this is wrong by the way, after all I am just 1 man's opinion, voicing my thoughts from time to time.But I am truly, truly fascinated in understanding why do we do what we do?Why do we need to suddenly try to take advantage of mental health deaths & post of the back of it pretending it has always been our cause? Why do we jump on trending topics in attempt to show our own 'worthiness'?Why does tragedy force us to open up our social media accounts & show the world we are so great rather than show those around us, in person, around the corner, a drive away their importance first and foremost?Why do we need to shout from the rooftops of our “Charitable work”? To encourage others, or to prove to ourselves and others that we are good people? I am fascinated by this & I don’t know the answers yet. But I would in my limited knowledge put it down to, ego, a lack of something, a need for external validation, narcissism or not feeling enough irrespective of what you may actually already have..I expect no-one to state they help people because they want something back. I am sure we all like to see ourselves as the latter of the initial questions. But deep down, we are all capable of figuring out and understanding why we do what we do, if we do not already know! Nonetheless, I ask you the question, rhetorically of course. Do you help people because you want them to see you as a hero? ORDo you help people because, you can, expecting nothing back and because it is always a good thing to do & you just want to genuinely help?This is a huge self awareness exercise that will teach us all an amazing lesson. Take time to figure this out, and really understand who you are.Free Audible book sign up: book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset the podcast: to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: See for privacy and opt-out information.
"Our biggest enemies, are our biggest teachers" by Andrea #84From Emotional Eating & Bulimia to Removing Breast Implants & Self Love Mastery Andrea opens up about how we all need to love ourselves.What an incredible story this was. Andrea's journey of overcoming emotional eating, bulimia and the beliefs and thoughts of others is inspiring to say the least. She has seen her own mind transform, but also her body too. A chapter of her story we discussed which I believe is very significant to this episode, was about her breast implants. Having initially done this, to fit in, to feel love in herself she had these removed 10 years later. Recognising that she needed to love herself first and foremost she is now in a place where she is able to live with happiness and comfort in her own body and mind, but also help many other people too.A beautiful conversation with some amazing takeaways for you all to learn and grow from. I urge you to check the YouTube version which has more content and fewer edits to get everything from this episode.Some Key Time stamps:[03:30] Why do we do what we do?[08:30] Triggers that affect you or others[13:40] Don't suppress or avoid feeling your emotions[19:40] Removing breast implants - Self Love[29:00] Listening to other peoples opinions and beliefsI urge you all to follow his journey:Free Audible book sign up: Carol Dweck Mindset 5 Minute journal: the podcast: to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.comYouTube: to Andrea:Website: See for privacy and opt-out information.
Comments (2)

Grant Spillman

amazing episode tackling a real emotional subject what a amazing woman to go through all this and persevere ,I have no shame in admitting this episode had me in tears as we have also gone through the missed miscarriage and as a man you feel useless and can offer little to support the woman who has to endure the medical side ...well done

Oct 22nd
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