Foreplay Radio – Couples and Sex Therapy

Will sex ever happen between us? If this has been a sticking point in your relationship then this episode is for you! Join our hosts today as we talk through what it looks like when the sexual withdrawer is re-engaged. The negative cycle is de-escalated, a new positive cycle has been created and there is enough safety to uncover the wants and needs of the sexual relationship. Give this show a listen to hear what the conversation between a de-escalated and more secure couple sounds like and how to make this happen. Our hosts remind you that pressure serves no purpose in the bedroom and a truly de-escalated couple will keep pressure around sex low and slow. It's important to remember that sometimes we have to go slow, to go fast. Make sure to give us a rate and review and keep it hot, y'all! Check out this episodes sponsors! BetterHelp.com/foreplay -- Easy, convenient therapy! Get 10% off your first month! Uberlube.com -- Laurie's long-time favorite lubricant! Use the code 'foreplay' at checkout to receive 10% off your order! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode, join hosts Laurie and George as they uncover the ultimate move that creates lasting change in couples. The changemaker for a negative cycle is when the withdrawing partner is able to stay in their fear and uncover their unmet need. In the negative cycle the old move to sense the discomfort and move away immediately begins to be replaced with a new ability to tolerate and remain present. Staying in the fear, with your partner close at hand allows you to ask, "What do I need here? Can you help me with it?" This new experience sends a message through the body and brain that this is now safe and we are rewarded with closeness and comfort where there was once isolation. We are not meant to be alone! George reminds withdrawers that you must risk if you want the reward. Our hosts role play, guides listeners in this meaningful conversation and reminds them, this is possible in your relationship! Therapists--Join us in Nashville January 25-27th for our Sex and EFT training to help your couples with their negative sexual cycle. Check out this episode's sponsor and help support the podcast! ForiaWellness.com/foreplay -- great products to enhance your sex life! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode, Laurie and George answer a listener's mailbag question. We love getting these write-ins and acknowledge the courage it takes to ask for help! Our listener is a burned out or almost burned out sexual pursuer that is frustrated and saddened by their sexless marriage. Covid, menopause, adult children at home are circumstances this couple is facing and blocks for intimate connection. George and Laurie give expert advice on how to navigate this situation, some of the physiological challenges impacting this couple and how to craft a thoughtful, caring and loving conversation to bridge the gap. Both pursuers and withdrawers will gain insight into the lives of their partners and we remember to blame the cycle to de-escalate the tension and encourage vulnerable conversation. Need help in your relationship? Send us a question on our website www.foreplayrst.com Check out this episode's sponsors: RocketMoney.com/foreplay -- Save money by getting rid of those subscriptions that you don't use that continue to auto renew! Uberlube.com/foreplay -- Laurie's favorite lubricant for the past 25 years! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You've probably waited years for your partner to hear you and make the changes you've needed. So why does that change now make you feel pissed off? The answer: mistrust is part of the change process. Learning how to manage this mistrust is imperative for couples when they are changing their negative cycle. In today's episode join our hosts Laurie and George in a fantastic conversation on what happens to us when our partners start to make the changes we've been asking for, for years and why that can cause mistrust. You'll learn what's happening in your brain when there is a red light, yellow light or green light in connection and strategies to promote regulation and connection. Remember, our brains are wired to protect and they want to hold on to the negative information for safety. Leaning into the mistrust and planning for this with your partner as you're changing together will help you navigate this new territory and be more successful. Therapists looking to get more training on the sexual cycle make sure to head over to our website www.foreplayrst.com to learn more about our training in Nashville this January! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Run, don't walk to listen to today's episode! Laurie and George lay out a transformational conversation between partners: when the sexual withdrawer begins to reenage. Re-engagement means, the sexual withdrawer is aware that something is not working, sees the negative cycle and their part in it and begins to open up to their partner about their underlying needs. This is a pivotal conversation and can be a gamechanger for couples that have been trapped in a negative sexual cycle. Both withdrawing and pursuing partners will find value in the expert commentary laid out by our hosts. Did you know that knowing what you need and sending clearer signals to your partner is a sign of secure attachment? For so many of us, being direct with what we want, need, like and desire has been off limits but it is a major component to secure and successful love. Join us today and drop a review of this episode so we know how we're doing! Check out our great sponsors for this episode: Uberlube.com - Laurie's favorite sexual lubricant! RocketMoney.com/foreplay - Get rid of those pesky recurring subscriptions that you don't use and gain control of your spending! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode, we're sounding the school bell and bringing listeners back into our 'School of Love.' This show focuses on motivating emotional withdrawers to be more open. If you're the pursuing partner you may find yourself screaming with excitement right now, withdrawers...not so much. Which is completely okay! Join our experts George and Laurie today as we make space for the withdrawing partner to: identify your protective move, understand why you do what you do, honor that protection and try something new. We get it, taking the risk to share emotion and let your partner in is tough stuff but we also know first hand the amazing change that can take place in relationships when the withdrawing partner is able to take this step. Make sure you grab your notebooks and pencils, our hosts drop great insight that you won't want to miss. Need a little more support? There is still time to sign up for our virtual couples retreat on October 4th. Head to www.foreplayrst.com for more details.  Check out this episodes sponsor and Help the Pod! foriawellness.com/foreplay -- Sensual oils to help you get in the mood! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In adult partnered relationships we ask each other hundreds of questions on a regular basis. Most often, the questions we ask surround logistical needs, who's doing what and what time do we need to be there? So many of us underuse curiosity and open-ended meaningful questions. We get it! Life is busy and in efforts to get it all done, getting solid on the plans is a necessity. But as purveyors of bettering relationships and sex lives across the world, we are challenging our listeners to start asking each other about...SEX! Make sure to head to our website to check out the article from The Knot which inspired our show today, listing '12 Sex Questions for Couples'. Do you know what puts your partner in the mood? Do they like it gentle or rough? Anything new they want to try in bed? We know that if you don't ask you'll never know! Any other questions you would add to this list? Head over to our Instagram @foreplay_sextherapypodcast and drop them in our comments. We can't wait to hear what you come up with! Please check out our great sponsor for this episode: Uberlube.com/foreplay -- Laurie's long-time favorite sexual lubricant! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's said that one of the biggest problems in communication is that we listen to respond rather than truly hearing what someone is saying. Sometimes, an even bigger issue is that we can't get a full sentence out before we are interrupted! Join our hosts today as they lead listeners through a conversation on interruptions and how to stop. George reminds us that information you want to interrupt with is probably valuable but the timing is off. Timing is key to creating more success in your communication with your love. When it comes to vulnerability, interruptions can flood the mind and they stop one of the most valuable communication tools...curiosity. Curiosity, as Dr. Laurie remarks, helps drain the poison from the partner that is feeling and working to express emotion. If interruptions cause problems in your communication with your spouse, make sure to listen to this show and take notes!  Check out this episode's sponsor: RocketMoney.com -- get rid of those pesky auto-renewing subscriptions! Use the code foreplay to let them know we sent you! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You may find you and your partner fighting about the dishwasher, kids, money or sex. But what are you really fighting about? That's what experts answer on this episode as they highlight the emotional cycle, the sexual cycle and the impact of both. Couples are really set up to miss each other and argue. It's an unfair reality that so many of us know. Some of us need verbal communication and a strong emotional connection to feel close and others need physical touch to create safety and connection. And when these things conflict we experience misattunement. Join our hosts today as they talk through a role play conversation highlighting this dilemma and the best ways to repair it. The ability to repair is what makes couples great and able to handle whatever conflict is thrown their way. Next time you find yourself arguing over the dishes, maybe it's time to explore the cycles and if they are colliding. Check out this episode's sponsor: UBERLUBE! -- Laurie's favorite personal lubricant for the past 25 years! Use the code foreplay at checkout! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We all know the standard: missionary, doggystyle, woman on top but have you ever heard of these...the Stand and Deliver, the Pearly Gates, the Pretzel? Maybe you're scratching your head right now. We hope you're at least intrigued and ready to join us on this fun, playful episode where we are talking all things sex positions! Inspired by an article in a recent issue of Men's Health by Ian Kerner, sex therapist and author of "She Comes First," George and Laurie are introducing listeners to these positions and many more. Our sexpert, Dr. Laurie breaks down how these positions increase pleasure for both partners and can increase the quality of orgasm, lover connection and maybe even some laughter to the bedroom. This is a spicy episode that you'll definitely want to listen to with the lover in your life!  Check out this episode's sponsor and help support the pod! cozyearth.com -- the softest, sexiest lounge wear and sheets! Laurie won't buy any others! Use the code Foreplay at checkout and get 30% off your order!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Male orgasms--seems pretty straightforward right? Think again. Join our experts on today's show to learn all about the male orgasm and how to make it better! George and Laurie take you through some of the mechanics of the male orgasm and introduce listeners to several strategies to increase the time, duration and pleasure of the male 'O'. Did you know that eating more greens and reducing your overall stress will lead to increased sensation during sex? There is so much more going on for men and their bodies than meets the eye. Listen as we explore the erogenous zones to hit, incorporating kegels (yes, kegels) into your routine and how to focus less on performance and more on the overall experience. Open up this conversation about orgasms with your love and how you can help each other get that better, hotter 'O' the next time you hit the sheets. Keep it hot y'all! Check out this episode's special sponsors: RocketMoney.com/Foreplay -- get ahold of you finances! If you have online subscriptions that you're not using, Rocket Money can help find and eliminate those useless expenses! Uberlube.com/foreplay -- Laurie's long-time favorite personal lubricant! Help get your sexy on! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The 'School of Love' is still on summer break and we can't help but think of it as the Summer of Love! While we're on break we are trying to keep things light and fun before our September session begins. Join us today as we discuss all things orgasm! Hosts, Dr. Laurie Watson and George Faller invite listeners to a conversation on the art of the 'O' and strategies that will really get things going. This is a no pressure show! Just because we're talking about orgasms doesn't mean you should run from this podcast to the bedroom with these expectations in hand. Rather we encourage you to think about what sets you up for success and helps your body get to this pleasure point. You'll walk away with some tips and tricks from our experts and tools to promote a positive and confident mindset. We encourage you to keep things fun, playful and light here and keep the pressure low. Remember pressure kills pleasure! Make sure to leave us a rating a review and head over to our IG @foreplay_sextherapypodcast and tell us what you think. We love hearing from you all! Check out this episode's sponsor: ForiaWellness.com/foreplay -- Sensual oils to wake up your body to great sex! Get 20% off your first order with the link or with the code 'Foreplay' at checkout! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What memories does summertime bring up for you? For some the season might make you reminisce about long sunny days, swimming in a pool, sweet smells and your first love. It is a season through which sights, sounds, and smells can bring up right back to pivotal and formative moments. This episode is all about summer luvin' and how it 'had me a blast.' Hosts George Faller and Dr. Laurie Watson walk listeners through questions partners can ask each other using their B.E.S.T sex script and why this steamy season often gets us in the mood. Did you know that longer days and more physical activity lead to greater arousal? It's true! Thirty minutes after physical activity, the body is more primed and available for arousal than before. Listeners will walk away from this episode with ideas on how to have summer relaxation all year long, create bonding moments with your spouse to increase your emotional connection and more ways to keep things hot! Head to our website www.foreplayrst.com for a list of questions from today's episode. There you can also find more info on our virtual couples therapy retreat on October 4th. Please check out our episode sponsors (and help support our mission!): RocketMoney.com -- track your money and stop those pesky annual renewals that you no longer use! Uberlube.com -- Laurie's all time favorite personal lubricant! Save 10% by using our code 'FOREPLAY' Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Laurie and George answer a mailbag question from a Foreplay listener. She asks the hosts for help with her partner who is turned off by her bodily fluids during sex. A self-described sexual pursuer, she begins to worry about her withdrawing partner and the future of their relationship. George and Laurie work to reassure this listener that this is a common concern in relationships. Not everyone loves this exchange and that is okay! Listen as our hosts, guide a role play that will help this couple communicate about these issues and take the heat off the topic. This expert conversation will help both partners gain insight, get to the root of the issue, be curious and create a safe space to explore these differences. Don't miss these gems from the show: Change your language. Don't just focus on what you're getting or not getting rather share the longing underneath. Anxiety can cause you to obliterate the otherness of your partner. It's okay to have differences and they don't need to be wrong or bad. Both partners can grow and stretch in their sexual worlds. This is a lifelong adventure. Want more hands-on guidance from Laurie and George? Make sure to join us on October 4th for our virtual couples retreat!t Check out this episode's sponsor: ForiaWellness.com/Foreplay -- Get 20% off your first order! Use the code foreplay at checkout. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's time for a summer break from the 'School of Love.' Throw away your notebooks and let's dish on how to spice things up this summer! Are you tired of your stale routines and want to explore new things? Join us today as we talk about role reversals! We're helping the visual sexual responder take some risks and try seducing. Not sure what that means? Jump in with Laurie and George to find out what role you usually take on in your sexual relationship, how to switch it up and how to repair if the risk goes wrong. Included in this episode are novel ideas on how to initiate sex, increase desire and build empathy for each other. We're all about helping you have better relationships and better sex, take a break from your studies and soak it in. We also honor the life and legacy of Dr. Ruth, a pioneer in the field of sex therapy and a woman that made us all more comfortable with talking about the bedroom. Keep it hot y'all!  Check out our great sponsors! CozyEarth.com -- the softest sheets and loungewear I've every experienced! The sheets just beg to be slept in! Uberlube.com -- Laurie's favorite lubricant. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How can you know when you've united against the cycle? We've got you covered in this episode on the signs to look for and how to test for de-escalation. George and Laurie work through a role play and give an example conversation of what it sounds like when couples move from the you vs. me space to you and me vs. the cycle. We want to be on the lookout for seeing the cycle as a whole rather than a one off event, knowing your move and why and seeing how your move affects your partner. These three steps are the key to de-escalation and the ability to move into more vulnerability and deeper change in your relationship. You cannot miss this step if you want to achieve true, sustainable healing in your relationship. Not sure how to do this? Make sure you join George and Laurie for their virtual couples retreat on October 4th. If you're a couples therapist unsure how to incorporate the sexual cycle in your work, join us for an in-person training in Nashville in January. Head to our website for registration details. www.foreplayrst.com Please check out our great sponsor for this episode: Foriawellness.com - get 20% off your first order! Try their Awaken and Arousal oil to enhance your experience in bed! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We've worked in the last few episodes to name, externalize and unite against the emotional and sexual cycles that pit partners against one another. This episode is all couples finding common ground. On this common ground couples have more safety and are able to unlock empathy and deeply care about each other's pain. This is where true change and healing begins to take place. Each time partners encounter the cycle, they get better at naming it and coming back to the common ground space. Conversations become easier, less exhausting and more fulfilling because there is new experience of compassion, care and empathy available. Here we might let the pursuing partner know, "I understand where this protest is coming from. You make sense to me hear and I care about what you go through." We might signal to the withdrawing partner, "I understand how this makes you want to run and slowing down might make you feel safer." What might you want to say to your partner in this shared space? This school of love episode is bound to show partners that change is possible and how to keep working to create common ground together. Keep it hot, y'all! Check out our great sponsors: RocketMoney.com -- get rid of those online recurring subscriptions you no longer use! Uberlube.com -- Laurie's favorite lubricant!0 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Did you know that 20% of couples can be defined as sexless by year 2 of their relationship? Why is this happening in the early stages of a relationship? Join our hosts on this episode as they break down what is actually happening in negative sexual cycles and how couples can unite against it. When partners are able to see their move, what happens when they are triggered and how it hurts their spouse, the cycle becomes so clear. It is a new way of talking about our problems that gets us out of the microview of who said what and into the macroview of the repetitive dance. This new lens allows couples to talk and stay connected in places where they may normally protest or shut down. George reminds us "when we can name it, we can tame it and then we can change it." Make sure to listen to the end when you get your new school of love assignment to better organize and understand your sexual cycle. Keep it hot y'all!  Check out our great sponsor! Manscaped.com -- all the grooming needs of men, Manscaped has you covered. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you find that you and your partner keep having the same arguments over and over, even though you're fighting about different things? If this is you, you won't want to miss this episode! Today's show is all about the negative cycle. Our hosts work to help couples organize what is happening and how couples can stop pointing the finger at each other and blame the cycle instead. Through this lens couples can feel more security and confidence in their interactions rather than thinking they have to solve each and every issue that comes up. If we don't start to see the cycle, the problems can feel endless and overwhelming! Make sure you stay on till the end to get George's homework assignment and head on over to our IG @foreply_sextherapypodcast and let us know your thoughts in the comments. Are you looking for more beyond our podcast? We're enrolling now for our couples retreat in October. Therapists interested in incorporating EFT and sex in the cycle? Join us in Nashville in January for our next therapist training. Visit www.foreplayrst.com to sign up today! Check out our sponsors (and support the podcast!): Addyi.com -- FDA-approved treatment for certain women with low libido! Uberlube.com -- Laurie's favorite lubricant! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Foreplay listeners, join us today in a 'School of Love' lesson all about the withdrawer's world! Withdrawers are often shutting down, walking away or seeming closed off in the cycle. These moves help them get safe and regulated but are a step in the negative cycle because the pursuing partner is left alone. When we can slow down, and be patient we can help to reveal the vulnerable underbelly of the emotional and sexual withdrawer. In two amazing role plays, hosts Laurie and George display exactly how to get slow, and get curious to learn about the ouch underneath the protective move. Vulnerability is the solution to the negative cycle and so much healing lies in these conversations. Withdrawing partners may often feel like they are messing up, a failure or that something is wrong with them. Pursuing partners may try to help by jumping in to reassure but this would be like diving into the shallow end of a pool. Staying in the deep but being there together is where the change happens. Let us know what notes you take from today's show and as always keep it hot y'all! Please help the podcast by using our great sponsors! ForiaWellness.com/foreplay -- products to help you get and stay aroused! RocketMoney.com -- gain some money back in your budget by having Rocket Money find and cancel your unused subscriptions! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices