DiscoverForeplay Radio -- Couples and Sex Therapy
Foreplay Radio -- Couples and Sex Therapy
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Foreplay Radio -- Couples and Sex Therapy

Author: Dr. Laurie Watson & George Faller, LMFT

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Sex podcast to help committed couples keep it hot! Find hope to keep your marriage and committed relationships emotionally connected and sexually erotic. Certified sex therapist Dr. Laurie Watson is joined by global leader in couples therapy - George Faller, LMFT for an expert, frank and fascinating conversation about sex, love, therapy, relationship dynamics, healthy couples and marriage. We discuss everything from best sexual techniques and solving sexual problems, to building the emotional intimacy necessary for great sex in your relationship! Two therapists bring you sound, concrete tools to reframe your relationship problems and learn how to fall in-love again, rebuild trust, and feel desire. Subscribe to us today!
250 Episodes
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This week it is Average Jane's turn! Join sex therapist and author Dr. Laurie Watson and couples therapist George Faller as they talk about what the sexual experience for an average woman is and how to improve their sex life! Check out our sponsor Uberlube! Use the coupon Foreplay!
George wants men to have a method to improve their sexual game in 3 zones—pre-sex, during sex and post-sex in 4 different areas: heart, mind, body, and genitals. Twelve variables for guys who like stats to measure their self progress. George gets into specific numbers for the average Joe in each area and has a plan for what they can do if they don't like their own assessment.
As a sexual pursuer, how can you open a conversation with your sexually withdrawing partner? What are some typical questions that pursuers ask and how can they ask them in a better way without being dismissed? Ever asked your partner: What are your sexual fantasies? What turns you on? How do you like to be touched? These questions are often met with an "I don't know" response - and we know it's so frustrating to the sexual pursuer who has planned and thought about them only to be seemingly met with disinterest and rejection. Hear Laurie and George talk about how sexual pursuers can open communication with their partner about sex and reduce the pushing energy that blocks their partner? Open up to curiosity and leave them wanting something more.
245: The Killjoy Cycle

245: The Killjoy Cycle

2020-08-2827:32

Let's talk about “killjoy” – the negative cycle that squashes the love life is so many millions of couples out there and how we can name it, notice it and do it differently. Sexual discrepancies are the most common thing we're going to see over 80% of couples are going to find themselves in a dynamic where one wants more than one wants less. In his marriage, George calls the negative cycle “California" and Laurie calls it “Drowning” with her swimmer husband. But there's something really fun about naming the negative cycle, the merry-go-round Groundhog Day, whatever word you want to come up with. The beautiful thing about doing this is it starts to externalize the problem. The problem isn't Joe. The problem isn't Mary. The problem is the dynamics that they've unconsciously created in this attempt to be with each other. George and Laurie role play a new way of communicating in “killjoy”! Please support us by ordering Uberlube at Uberlube.com with the coupon "foreplay".  
Is the orgasm gap fair? Laurie and George don't think so. But it's so natural to feel criticized when your partner tries to tell you what they need; how can we get excited about feedback to change this problem? How often do normal couples have bad sex? George suggests often enough that it's coming for you! (you gotta expect it!) But if you strike out... get back in the game. Do men who worry about their penis size even know what's normal? How big is big enough? What's so special about sex in Finland - what are they getting right for women? We got the stats!
Why do YOU want to have sex? George and I talk about the 5 most frequent motives to get it on! Pleasure, Intimacy, Approval, Coping and Procreation. Each motive can be used in sexually healthy relationship as sex serves many purposes for a couple. Sometimes though some motives fail, like when pleasure is never accompanied by intimacy or when the anxious need from approval doesn't develop into pleasure. Please support us on Uberlube.com/FOREPLAY  
Welcome Dr. Emily Nagoski, PhD, fellow podcaster and award-winning author of the New York Times bestseller, Come As You Are: the surprising new science that will transform your sex life.    Dr.Nagoski's mission is to help us live with confidence and joy in our bodies! Together, Emily, George and Laurie want to help people have a healthy view of sex and challenge people's assumptions about what they believe and where they get stuck. We all see EFT as a way to help couples deal with the difficult feelings around sex where we often are anxious about hurting our partner's feelings or fearful of being found sexually inadequate.   To help us understand desire, Emily tells us about where to find our brakes (all the good reasons not to be turned on... potential threats) and accelerators (everything we think, believe, imagine & touch, taste, smell, hear that has sexual connotations.)  Fun topics in this podcast: look at your genitals! (if you want to make friends.) She and George talk about the complicated relationship men have with their penises. Nagoski uses a hedgehog visualization to gracefully accept our feelings around sex. Ever wonder why your body may be turned on but you really don’t want sex? Emily shares the concept of non-concordant sex – when our body’s arousal and subjective sexual feelings don’t align. Please help support our podcast and get a 10% discount on Uberlube's fabulous lubrication - Uberlube.com/Foreplay Find Emily!!!: book - Come As You Are workbook -The Come as You Are Workbook new book!! - Burnout: the secret to unlocking the stress cycle podcast - the feminist survival podcast 2020
Knowing that their withdrawal triggers their partner, what can someone who feels attacked or criticized do - other than walking away? Wrestling with themselves and naming their feelings, gives them a moment to feel instead of shutting it down. Recognizing what happens in their body makes some room and space for the withdrawer distress. And becoming curious about their pursuing partners criticism and anger helps them reconnect emotionally.
Men want an engaged partner and frequently ask for communication in bed.  Yet, how can a women ask for what she wants without sending the message that she is critical and unhappy? Laurie and George discuss how a woman can offer sex tips so her guy can really be the best in bed for her especially if he is a sexual withdrawer. 
Pursuers have beautiful motives to push toward their partners - wanting more connection, more intimacy and more sex. But they often feel rejected and are told they are too much which escalates the cycle. Learn two things that help the pursuer calm down. 1) Remind yourself that you have good intentions to create change. 2) Use an image of someone who made you feel safe - a therapist, parent, grandparent or even of yourself comforting a younger version of yourself. See how taking a wider lens including both peoples vulnerabilities can stop the pursuer-distance cycle. Subscribe to get all the latest episodes! Dedicated to Dr. Jeanne Yorke.
238: Four Sexy Questions

238: Four Sexy Questions

2020-07-1028:251

It's so hard to ask for what I want in bed or how to answer what do you want me to do to you sexually. Why? George says we either want to protect our partner from something hurtful and we're avoiding what we feel. But without talking about it, we shortcut that delicious exploration, even the missing spots and getting redirected - that is part of the magic of excitement. Our 4 questions are open-ended and hopefully spark real conversation between you and your lover - even if you've been doin' it forever.   Check our our great sponsor Uberlube! Use the coupon code "Foreplay" so that they know we sent you!
Mailbag! - A 49 year-old virgin wonders if it too late for love or if she has lost her mojo. George and Laurie discuss having hard conversations about racism and sex including a listener's feedback. A woman having trouble with physical intimacy after her husband's emotional infidelity.
When we are falling in love, we notice all the positive attractors in our partner. Over time, the inevitable negatives which were there all along become more noticeable. The key to long-term relational connection is to intentionally replicate that focus on the positive attractors over the negative. Check out our great sponsor, Uberlube! Use the coupon code Foreplay to let them know you are a listener!
We all resonate with how sexy confidence is in the bedroom. But how do we get it back when we've been repeatedly rejected? Or how do we love ourselves and our imperfect bodies when a critical voice inside our heads screams about our flaws and jiggly thighs? Listen to George and Laurie talk through the ways that can get our game on!   Visit our sponsor Uberlube. Use coupon code "Foreplay"!
George and Laurie add their hearts to the conversation about racism. We need to have the conversations that are uncomfortable. If we're marginalized, we have to protest - the rage and anger makes sense. As a former first responder, it breaks George's heart to see the men watching the murder of George Floyd. Where were their feelings? Shut down. Blocked. Trained to be closed. If we can train people to shut down their feelings we can train them to turn on their feelings and be in touch when their humanity is essential. Join Laurie and  George as they talk about what's happening in the world.    Check out our sponsor Uberlube. It is an awesome product! Use the coupon code 'Foreplay'.
Join us for a sample conversation with "Eleanor" who is always anxious about sex, preoccupied with whether or not she is pleasing her husband, but unable to be present for her own experience. She doesn’t want to risk hurting her husband even if it would make the sexual moment better for her. Her husband thinks she's not into it, but hear how she worries and actually thinks about it constantly without ever knowing if her husband is happy with her. We have heard hundreds of similar stories about the disconnects that can happen in sexual relationship. We invite you to consider opening up a discussion with your lover about their experience in sex.   Help support us by checking out our sponsor Uberlube. Uberlube has great lubricants! Go to uberlube.com and use the coupon code ‘Foreplay’ to get savings!
Conversation is the best foreplay. But to have a deeper, more satisfying relationship you must ask deeper, specific questions. Have you ever wanted to talk to your husband or boyfriend about what he really thinks about what is going on in his bedroom? How to Talk to a Man About His Sex Life (Assessment - Part 3) will give you so good questions to ask and ways to make sense of his answers. In this third episode on assessing your sexual relationship, join sex therapist Laurie Watson and couples therapist George Faller as they talk about the kinds of questions they use to understand and assess the depth of a couple's connection.
In therapy and in our partnerships, sharing our sexual histories takes vulnerability and courage. Have you told your partner about your sexual development? So often we don't even bother to think about what was formative and how our experiences, our strengths, our trauma may influence what we feel in bed. This episode, relationship experts, licensed couples therapist guru George takes the role of sex therapist and sex therapist Dr. Laurie role plays a patient talking about her history. Check out our sponsor Uberlube! Use the coupon code "Foreplay" for a nice discount!
We invite you into a thoughtful reflection about what is happening in YOUR sex life. Bring your spirit of curiosity and stay with us in the discovery mode as our “client” played by the brave volunteer - George - answers this first set of questions. Pull back the curtain and hear what Laurie thinks about his answers as a sex therapist. Think about these beginning questions, (not easy questions) like… What would you want your partner to know about you sexually? Laurie reflects on how important vulnerability is when communication with your lover the deeper aspects of these questions. Our patient acknowledges his anxiety and how most of the time he communicates in frustration with his partner instead of coming from his heart’s longing. We ask: What is going on in your sex life now? Can you describe the problems? When did things change between you or when did the problems start? What have you tried to resolve these issues. Do you and your partner have desire for each other? What turns you on the most? When do you feel most erotic with your partner? What are your 3 most important expectations in bed? We gratefully acknowledge the work of EFT founder Dr. Sue Johnson, EFT Supervisor Mike Moran in the development of this sexual questionnaire as well as the work of Dr. Zoya Simakhodskaya, Ph.D for pioneering the understanding of the integration of the sexual cycle into the couple emotional cycle in emotionally focused therapy.
The stay-at-home orders across the country because of the Covid-19 Pandemic has increased the economic and health security. Dealing with feelings of helplessness is a drag on individuals and impacts sexual desire. Join sex therapist Dr. Laurie Watson and Couples therapist George Faller as they talk about how to maintain sex during 'war-time.' Check out our sponsor Uberlube. Use the coupon code 'Foreplay' to get a discount! Silicone-based lubricant for keeping it hot!
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Comments (36)

ForexTraderNYC

wow so Jane low score explain your women r slow n take a while before heating up... it almost feel they are coerced into bed to pleasuring men..where is the passion for women in this? seems non existent jane...are women asexual then early stage of life.I have sympathies that women seem to have to get in mood n act or pretend..wish women had same arousal time line as men but may be there is God's wisdom behind it otherwise we be planet of 14 o 20 billion people..just sucks women engine is 1950s while men arousal engine is concord haha...thx Laura for being honest n not inflating numbers, it seems real tough task to get women aroused SEXUALLY.

Sep 20th
Reply

DeeleyNa

I so appreciate you two taking the time to speak about something so difficult. I wanted to speak about the looters. So many ask why loot in your own neighborhood. But you have to understand, these people don't own homes in "their" neighborhood(due to systemic rascism), they don't own businesses in "their" neighborhood(due to systemic rascism), and the "justice system" that's taken away the ability of many young black men to get good jobs(forever), and the omnipotence of a police force, there to punish, not protect(due to systemic rascism). Theae neighborhoods are owned and patrolled by others who really don't want these people(ex: black, poor, broken families). Doesn't make it right to loot-but understand it's not "their" neighborhood. Again, I appreciate the sensitive, intelligent and mature way you both adressed the subject of black lives and systemic rascism in America.

Jul 7th
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Curt F

This was just an awful conversation on the topic. This was a very negative view from both sides, I mean Adam couldn't even say the words anal sex and he's a couple's therapist? The tone on the subject was not supportive at all and don't use this episode as a precursor for conversations. Very stereotypical views on men and the subject and they couldn't even say 2 words on men's anal sex.

Jun 30th
Reply

Lesa Jeannette

Is Tony really a marriage therapist? He seems pretty clueless. Suggesting that a couple in a sexual rut role play paying for sex? Say what!? Is he suggesting this kind of stuff to clients?

Jun 19th
Reply

Lesa Jeannette

You are being stereotypical. There's a lot of pressure on both partners on this make-up holiday. It's built up so much in our culture that when it doesn't meet expectations, both partners can feel anger and resentment.

Jun 19th
Reply (1)

Lesa Jeannette

Why are people having sex in the dark?

Jun 19th
Reply

Lesa Jeannette

Is he joking? He really didn't know this information? Unbelievable.

Jun 19th
Reply

Miss T

TY TY interesting concepts. Hopefully, open dialogues will begin.

Mar 17th
Reply

Gina Marston

this podcast doesn't play, so do half of your other ones! what's going on?

Mar 11th
Reply (1)

Miss T

This episode definitely dispelled some myths

Dec 6th
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ForexTraderNYC

wow adam! we miss u alrdy! it aint same without you...big difference.. comeback dude! u can spear a hour a week.. geogie boy seems like a nice guy but adam is ADAM! i loved his humor n was more relateble.. o boy what a difference in personalities.

Nov 3rd
Reply

nelly arraiz

not being a man myself... and relating to every single thing they said here.

Aug 13th
Reply (3)

ForexTraderNYC

aww Madison (intern) sounds so sweet.*hugs* thx for working hard behind scenes.. appreciate it! :)

Jul 19th
Reply (1)

ForexTraderNYC

my God what a beautiful mom/son relationship. it's sweet the mom is speaking so politely to her son like a professional n adult. I never seen a parent give their children such respect n appreciation.its interesting.he came out of her womb.. here he is communicating..with her speaking common language.. I love laurie she is so cool n fun.. I wish I had a mom like that.

Jul 19th
Reply (1)

Colt Craig

Fantastic podcast. Tons of great topics, great knowledge, and always consistent. Keep up the good work! I hope to have new episodes to listen to for years to come.

Jul 1st
Reply

Deldrick Surles

I love your episodes and that you are based it Raleigh! I got so excited and even started researching you more.

Jun 7th
Reply

Tammy Matuszczak

wish your episodes were longer! I enjoy listening :)

Apr 28th
Reply

Crystal Pickett

I love this episode and I'm trying to understand my husband more emotionally...however, I have my own emotional issue with the part at 20:40. It's about what the man expects to make him feel better and more manly. It seems like a cheap replacement for emotional love, verification or fortitude, when a man is asking for what a professional escort would provide. Is that what I need to do for my husband to make him feel loved? Is love so cheap? Maybe there is something so engrained in my character that I expect more for myself as a woman, knowing woman's suffrage and struggle to want to rise above a horrible stereotype of weakness that it is actually embedded in my ability to bend into certain sexual norms that show me as weak and oppressed as a woman, and more importantly as a human who is fit to be respected? I would like to understand better how a man wants sexual acts to show emotional connection in a marriage. I'm open to it, but I'm not okay with letting my guard down or being thought if as a weak woman. I am a proud, strong woman. I can't just bend to a man's wants and feel strong. It's so hard to feel strong with the odds stacked against us daily anyway. my husband and I have a great relationship, we share the load equally. But I need to understand him better. We have had our challenges and I want to make this work. If I have questions, so do others. Please do a podcast on strong women and how to let their guard down and not to become victims in their married lives and sex lives.

Apr 10th
Reply (1)

Ian Buell

As a man, I am crying inside right now...

Mar 15th
Reply

Ali

a YouTube channel would be awesome 🙌🏽 🙌🏽

Mar 4th
Reply
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