Former Insomniac by End Insomnia

If you’ve been seeing progress in your sleep, that’s something to celebrate.It means the End Insomnia System is working for you.But let me be upfront about something most people don’t want to hear:Setbacks are part of the process.Not just common.Necessary.They’re how your nervous system learns to stop fearing sleep again.Let’s walk through how setbacks happen, what to do when they hit, and why they’re actually key to long-term recovery.Setback Scenario 1: The Fear of Losing Good SleepThis one catches many by surprise.You start sleeping better.Relief washes over you.But then, something creeps in — the fear of losing it.You start thinking things like,“What if this doesn’t last?”“What if I go back to square one?”That fear reignites sleep anxiety.And just like that, you’re putting pressure on sleep again.You’ve moved from a state of non-attachment back to performance mode.And performance mode is enemy territory for sleep.Setback Scenario 2: The Big Day SpiralEven after progress, special events can trip you up.A work presentation.A wedding.An early flight.Something important is happening tomorrow — and you really want to sleep well for it.Understandably, your anxiety ramps up.You want to show up at your best.But when you need sleep too much, it doesn’t come.This performance pressure causes your nervous system to tense again, reactivating the old loop.Setback Scenario 3: The Surprise DropSometimes, it just hits.Out of nowhere.You’ve been sleeping better.Then suddenly — you’re back to lying awake at 3 a.m., heart pounding.You can’t trace it to anything specific.This is old wiring in the nervous system reactivating.It doesn’t mean you did anything wrong.It means a pocket of stored hyperarousal is surfacing to be cleared.This, too, is part of the healing process.The Way Through: Reapply the SystemNo matter the cause, the solution to every setback is the same:Return to the tools.Don’t try to analyze or solve the setback.Don’t spiral.Don’t force sleep.Do the work you already know:Let go of controlling sleepReconnect to your valuesPractice self-compassionUse mindfulness to observe, not reactStop tracking your sleep​Most importantly, remember:The tools still work.You’re not back at the beginning.You’ve changed.Your relationship with insomnia has changed.You just need to remember what you already know.Expect Setbacks, Don’t Fear ThemThe more you expect setbacks, the less they knock you off course.Setbacks are not signs that the system failed.They are signs that your nervous system is finishing its work.​Each setback is an opportunity to prove that you’re no longer afraid.To see that poor sleep is not dangerous.That you don’t need to protect against it.That you can live your life, even when tired.Setbacks Build ConfidenceThink about it this way:If you had never had another bad night, you might still fear that insomnia could return.You might live in the shadow of “What if?”But when you experience a setback, face it, and recover…You prove to yourself — for real — that insomnia has no power over youThat proof rewires your brain.It builds trust.And eventually, you lose your fear of sleep trouble altogether.The Final Shift: From Setback to StabilityRecovery...

If you’ve been working through insomnia, it’s normal to feel unsure where you are on the journey or whether progress is even happening.The truth is, there is a rough path most people follow when working through the End Insomnia System.It’s not perfectly linear.You may jump between stages or feel like you’re in more than one at a time.But understanding the path ahead can give you clarity, motivation, and self-compassion:Phase 1: Lost and SufferingYou’ve tried everything - melatonin, weighted blankets, supplements, perfect sleep hygiene - and nothing works.You’re exhausted, frustrated, and scared that things might never change.This is the phase of desperation and confusion, where you are stuck in the vicious cycle of effort and fear.​Phase 2: Finding HopeYou start learning what’s really driving your insomnia.You realize it’s not just about sleep hygiene, but about breaking the fear-based cycle.You haven’t slept better yet, but understanding the problem brings relief.Hope begins to spark.​Phase 3: Making Key Behavior ChangesYou stop chasing sleep and start gently letting go of unhelpful efforts.You adjust your routine in ways that support your natural sleep rhythm, and start facing the discomfort of doing less to try to make sleep happen.There may be some setbacks, but you begin to see that letting go helps.​Phase 4: Experiencing Some Anxiety ReductionThis is where the real work begins.You start practicing mindfulness, acceptance, and self-compassion during the day and at night.Sleep still fluctuates, but you get glimpses of peace.You’re less afraid of poor nights and building confidence that you can handle them.Meditation, values-based action, and nervous system regulation tools begin to pay off.​Phase 5: Feeling Non-AttachmentYou’re still having ups and downs, but you worry less.You know you can function after bad nights.You stop identifying as someone with insomnia.There is more ease, more flexibility, and more of your life coming back online.You’re not free from insomnia yet, but it no longer dominates you.You’re sleeping better and living better.​Phase 6: Sleeping Consistently BetterYou’ve now built a sleep-compatible nervous system.You’ve shifted out of fight-or-flight.Most nights are good, and even the rough ones don’t throw you off course.You are grateful, calm, and moving through life without sleep anxiety.This doesn’t mean perfection, but it means freedom.You’re no longer afraid of the night.​Phase 7: Working Through SetbacksEvery journey includes setbacks.Maybe a stressful event or an old memory throws you off.The key here is applying what you’ve learned - without panic or pressure.You handle it, bounce back, and prove to yourself that insomnia has lost its grip.With every challenge you face, your resilience grows deeper.​Phase 8: Life Beyond InsomniaYou’ve moved on.Sleep is just something that happens.You are not haunted by your past struggles.Bad nights come and go like the weather, but your life is full, meaningful, and vibrant.The tools you used to recover have become a part of who you are - more present, resilient, and self-aware.Let go of the timelineYou might be wondering, “How long will this take?”But focusing on a timeline only builds pressure, which makes sleep harder.Instead, shift your focus to consistent daily actions. Apply the tools, stick to the process, and allow the transformation to unfold naturally.This is a journey...

Making progress with insomnia isn’t just about what you do.It’s also about how you think.Certain beliefs and mental loops can keep you stuck in the cycle of poor sleep, while small but intentional shifts in your mindset can dramatically change how you respond to bad nights, tired days, and the fear that fuels insomnia.Here are 7 mindset shifts that will support your insomnia recovery:​1. You Are Not an Insomniac​It’s easy to let insomnia become part of your identity.Maybe friends check in about your sleep, or you joke about how little you get.But the more central insomnia becomes in your story, the more it reinforces itself.Try this: stop calling yourself an insomniac.You are a person who is dealing with insomnia, not defined by it.Avoid sleep talk in social settings.Focus on the things you want to talk about once insomnia is behind you.And when you do need support, make sure it’s from someone who understands what truly helps—someone who will reinforce progress, not fear.​2. Hard Nights and Tired Days Are Opportunities​This might sound strange, but the best opportunities to overcome sleep anxiety are the bad nights and groggy mornings.Why?Because insomnia gets weaker when you face what you fear and realize you can handle it.That’s the principle behind exposure therapy: you reduce anxiety by willingly facing the uncomfortable thing and discovering you’re okay.Each rough night is a chance to build that strength.Each tired day is an opportunity to prove that you can still function—and even enjoy life.​3. Bring Out Your Inner Rebel​Watch for lingering sleep efforts that sneak into your routine.Perhaps you still avoid caffeine altogether, certain foods, or evening activities in the hopes of getting better sleep.Now is the time to rebel against those self-imposed rules.Not only do they restrict your life, but they send the message that you are fragile—and you’re not.​4. Don’t Blame Sleep for Everything​Insomnia makes life harder, but it isn’t the root of every problem.Financial stress, relationship tension, or pressure at work may still exist after insomnia resolves.When you place too much blame on sleep, it increases the pressure to fix it fast.That desperation only makes things worse.Life includes stress, whether you sleep well or not.Recognizing that will help take some weight off your sleep’s shoulders.​5. Remember the Good Things in Your Life​Insomnia doesn’t cancel out everything good in your life.Even in hard times, there are things worth appreciating.Pause once in a while to reflect on what you’re grateful for - your family, health, home, or even small moments of peace.Gratitude won’t magically fix things, but it helps shift your perspective and soften the sharp edges of fatigue and frustration.​6. Be Patient​Reading the ideas in this system will help, but change comes from experience—not just understanding.You need time to apply the tools and gather evidence that things can improve.Stick with it. The goal isn’t perfection or instant sleep, but steady progress and reduced anxiety.​7. Stay the Course​There will be setbacks.You might have a string of bad nights and feel tempted to abandon the plan or try something extreme.Don’t.This system works by building long-term resilience, not chasing short-term results.Measure progress in weeks or months, not single nights.The hard moments will pass.Trust the process.​Final Thought​Insomnia can feel like it’s taken over your life.But mindset is where you begin to take it back.Every time you

If you’re stuck in a cycle of poor sleep and constant fatigue, you might think what you need is another strategy to help you fall asleep at night.But here’s the real secret:You don’t need to chase sleep. You need to calm your nervous system.Train your nervous system to shift out of overdriveWhen your nervous system is in a state of high alert, it’s nearly impossible to transition into sleep.That’s where nervous system regulation comes in.Mindfulness meditation is one of the most effective tools for this.Yes, the sleep knowledge you’re learning here matters.But knowledge alone doesn’t rewire your system.To truly change your relationship with sleep, you need experiences that teach your body how to feel calm again.That’s where daily practice comes in.What mindfulness meditation really isThere’s mindfulness, and then there’s mindfulness meditation.Mindfulness is the ability to be present in the moment and open to what’s happening, without judgment.You can practice it anytime, while walking, eating, or even brushing your teeth.Mindfulness meditation is a formal version of this.You sit with your spine upright, your body relaxed, and your attention anchored on the breath.When your mind wanders (and it will), you simply notice and bring it back.You’re not trying to block thoughts or feel peaceful. The goal is to build awareness, openness, and emotional balance.Calm may come—but it’s a byproduct, not the objective.Why meditation helps with long-term insomnia recoveryHere are three reasons to give this practice a real place in your life:1. It builds your capacity to stay presentWhen you meditate consistently, you strengthen your mental “muscle” for awareness.This awareness allows you to interrupt automatic patterns that perpetuate insomnia.You notice unhelpful thoughts.You catch yourself spiraling into fear.You choose how to respond.​This ability to observe, pause, and shift is what allows you to act differently during challenging nights and mornings.Over time, your nights feel less threatening—and your days feel more manageable.2. It helps regulate your stress responseMindfulness meditation has a proven ability to reduce sympathetic nervous system activity (your fight-or-flight mode) and activate the parasympathetic system (your rest-and-digest mode).This matters a lot because insomnia is essentially a threat response.The body perceives danger around not sleeping and stays wired.Meditation helps reverse this.It teaches your body that it’s safe to slow down.And over time, you’ll find that your baseline nervous system state becomes calmer—even outside of meditation.Important note:Don’t try to use meditation to make yourself sleep.That turns it into a sleep effort, which keeps the cycle going.Use it to feel more at peace with being awake.That’s what actually helps you sleep better in the long run.3. It changes your brainLong-term meditation doesn’t just change your behavior. It changes your brain structure.Studies have shown that a consistent mindfulness meditation practice:Strengthens the prefrontal cortex (responsible for emotional regulation and rational thought)Shrinks the amygdala (your brain’s alarm system that triggers stress)These brain shifts help you become less reactive, more centered, and better able to handle adversity—including the bad nights that come with insomnia recovery.The takeaway: invest in your nervous systemIf you’re tired of feeling like your...

Let’s talk about something that doesn’t get enough attention when it comes to insomnia:How you treat yourself when things are hard.Most people are kinder to others than they are to themselves.And if you’re like many people struggling with insomnia, you may find yourself thinking things like:“What’s wrong with me?”“Why can’t I just sleep like a normal person?”“I’m such a mess.”That internal tone?It matters. A lot.Harsh self-talk doesn’t help you sleepYou might think being tough on yourself will push you to “try harder” or “get it together.”But research shows the opposite.Self-criticism actually increases your stress levels and activates threat centers in the brain.This puts your body on high alert - making it even harder to sleep.In fact, a review of 48 studies found that self-criticism is linked to depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and more.It doesn’t create change - it creates shame, frustration, and stuckness.A better way: Self-compassionSelf-compassion is not indulgent or weak. It’s practical.When you respond to your suffering with care instead of criticism, you shift your nervous system from fight-or-flight into a calmer, more restful state.In other words:Self-compassion reduces the “sleep-stopping force” that fuels insomnia in the first place.Instead of adding dirty pain (shame, blame, judgment), you create space for healing.Try this: Talk to yourself like you would a friendThink of a recent moment where you were struggling - maybe during a hard night or a rough morning after.Now imagine your closest friend told you they were going through that exact experience.What would you say to them?Would you shame them for not handling it better?Or would you offer words of care and understanding?Take those same words - and speak them to yourself.It might feel awkward at first.But with practice, it gets easier.And over time, your brain learns that it’s safe to suffer without self-punishment.That’s when real healing can begin.You didn’t choose this, but you can change itInsomnia is not a personal failing.It’s a pattern your brain got stuck in after perceiving a threat around sleep.But every time you respond to your struggle with compassion instead of criticism, you send a signal to your brain that the threat is lessening.You’re not broken. You’re human.You’re doing your best.And you deserve your own kindness - especially on the nights that feel the hardest.To peaceful sleep,Ivo at End InsomniaWhy should you listen to me?I recovered from insomnia after 5 brutal years of suffering. I also wrote a book about it. I've now coached many on how to end their insomnia for good in 8 weeks.Looking for a deep dive into the End Insomnia System? Start with the End Insomnia book on Amazon.If you are committed to ending insomnia for good in 8 weeks, 100% naturally, book a call today to see if we can help: http://endinsomnia.co/podcast

Your resilience during insomnia grows when you stop trying to “fix” the pain you experience - and instead start living in a way that reflects what matters most to you.Let’s take this one step further:👉 How do you live by your values when you’re exhausted, foggy, and unmotivated?👉 How do you reclaim your day after a brutal night?⸻Behavioral activation: a small shift with big resultsIn the field of psychology, there’s a powerful concept called behavioral activation.Put simply:Doing the things that matter to you—even when you don’t feel like it—can lift your mood, increase resilience, and help reduce the intensity of insomnia.This doesn’t mean ignoring your fatigue.It means choosing to act with the fatigue, rather than waiting for it to disappear before you engage with life again.⸻What this looks like in real life:Let’s say you didn’t sleep much.Your instinct might be to cancel plans, stay home, and just try to “survive the day.”That’s totally understandable.And sometimes, rest is the right call.But what if you:• Still met your friend for a slow coffee walk?• Did a small creative task instead of canceling everything?• Took 20 minutes to play music or cook a simple meal because it connects you to yourself?These aren’t acts of denial.They’re acts of courage—and alignment with your values.They prove to your nervous system:“I can live a meaningful life, even before my sleep is perfect.”And that reduces the stakes on sleep.⸻A few helpful tools:1. The Two Lists StrategyWrite down:• Tasks you’ll do no matter how you slept• Tasks you’ll do only if you slept decentlyKeep your “no matter what” list rooted in your values.This builds confidence and consistency.2. Mood Forecasting FilterRemember: your energy and mood will shift throughout the day.Just because the morning feels awful doesn’t mean the whole day is doomed.3. Mini Joy Check-InsDo one small thing that connects you to joy, play, or presence—no matter how short. It counts.⸻You’re allowed to enjoy life again—even before sleep improves.Insomnia takes a lot from us before we recover.But it doesn’t get to take our whole life.If you wait to feel “better” before living fully, you’ll only raise the pressure on sleep—which makes it even harder to come.Living by your values, no matter how you slept, is a way out.Start small.Start today.You’ve got this.⸻Why should you listen to me?I recovered from insomnia after 5 brutal years of suffering. I also wrote a book about it. I've now coached many on how to end their insomnia for good in 8 weeks.Looking for a deep dive into the End Insomnia System? Start with the End Insomnia book on Amazon.If you are committed to ending insomnia for good in 8 weeks, 100% naturally, book a call today to see if we can help: http://endinsomnia.co/podcast

Let’s face it: life is hard.And the longer you struggle with insomnia, the more this truth becomes undeniable.In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy - and in Buddhist philosophy for over 2,500 years - there’s a core idea that has helped many people find steadiness through difficulty:​Suffering is inevitable.But how do we respond to it? That’s where we have a choice.We live in a world full of unpredictability, loss, discomfort, and emotional turbulence.The things we love most are impermanent - including our energy, routines, and even our own bodies.And yet… we’re constantly bombarded with messages that suggest something is wrong with us if we’re not thriving 24/7.Scroll social media for five minutes and you’ll find polished, highlight-reel lives that seem problem-free.But here’s the secret most of us forget:Everyone struggles.The curated happiness we see is just a moment in time - not the full picture.​​Why this matters for insomniaWhen your days are foggy and your nights feel endless, it’s easy to feel broken.You might start thinking:“What’s wrong with me?”“Why can’t I get it together like everyone else?”“If I were doing something right, I wouldn’t feel like this.”This kind of self-talk only compounds the pain.But when you stop pathologizing your suffering—and instead acknowledge that difficulty is part of life - something shifts.You stop fighting yourself.You stop making your symptoms a moral failure.And you start responding with compassion, instead of judgment.​​Resilience doesn’t mean you never sufferResilience means you learn how to move through suffering with greater steadiness and self-respect.And here’s the key:You build resilience not by avoiding pain, but by doing what matters to you even when things are hard.Which brings us to something crucial:Your values.​​Values vs. Goals: A Better CompassMost people chase goals as if they were the secret to happiness.But here’s the catch:You may never reach your goal.Or, you may reach it - and then realize the happiness didn’t last.​This is called hedonic adaptation.Researchers have found that even people who win the lottery eventually return to their baseline level of happiness.The same goes for people who face major setbacks. After the shock, we adapt.So what actually creates lasting fulfillment?👉 The answer: Your intentional actions.What you choose to focus on. What you choose to live out, even when life is rough.​​Living your values—even in hard seasonsValues are qualities you can embody any time, whether or not you’re sleeping well.They’re things like:KindnessCourageGrowthHonestyCreativityConnectionCompassionServiceUnlike goals, you don’t “achieve” values. You live them.And they bring purpose and meaning in the moment, not just “someday” when things improve.A quick reflection for today:What do you want your life to stand for?What kind of person do you want to be - even on a rough day?What values can guide you through this season of insomnia?​Next time, I’ll share how to put your values into action - even on days when you feel drained or unmotivated.To peaceful sleep,Ivo at End...

If you’ve ever woken up after a rough night and felt like canceling your day before it even started, you’re not alone.The daytime consequences of insomnia can feel exhausting, discouraging, and relentless.Maybe you spend the day running on fumes, all while dreading the next night.It’s completely understandable that you might start withdrawing from the things and people you care about - just trying to make life feel more manageable.But here’s the catch: that very withdrawal can slowly make things worse.Let’s look at a few common sacrifices people often make when insomnia sets in:Avoiding travel plansPulling back from friends, family, or romantic relationshipsPausing or quitting workGiving up hobbies, regular exercise, or meaningful routinesEven moving homes, just for the hope of better sleepCompletely cutting out coffee, wine, or other things you used to enjoyThis retreat is usually done with the best intentions.You’re doing what you can to preserve energy, reduce stress, or increase your odds of sleeping better.And in a way, it makes perfect sense.But here’s what most people don’t realize:The more your world shrinks to revolve around sleep, the more pressure you put on sleep to “perform.”It becomes the one thing that must go right - because everything else now depends on it.This is what we call increasing the Sleep-Stopping Force - when the stakes of sleep get so high that it creates anxiety, vigilance, and tension around nighttime itself.And that tension?It’s what makes sleep even harder to come by.What Happens When You Start Living AgainYou don’t need to wait for perfect sleep to begin reclaiming your life.In fact, the act of doing so can lower the pressure around sleep and give you back a sense of control.What does that look like in practice?Start small.Reintroduce the things you’ve been avoiding - not in a forceful or rigid way, but with gentleness and curiosity.If you used to enjoy a morning coffee, consider bringing that ritual back.If you love connecting with friends, try meeting someone for a short walk or lunch, even if you feel tired.Let’s talk caffeine and alcohol for a moment.You’ve probably heard that both should be completely avoided.But full elimination isn’t always necessary, and can sometimes make life feel even more restrictive.Here’s a more balanced approach:☕ Caffeine:If you’re someone who enjoys your morning coffee or tea, you don’t need to give it up entirely.Having a moderate amount in the morning can improve your mood and energy without harming your sleep.The key is timing - try to keep caffeine use to the earlier part of the day, ideally before noon.Be mindful of how it affects you personally and adjust as needed.🍷 Alcohol: If you like to have a glass of wine or a drink now and then, know that it’s okay to do so in moderation.Yes, alcohol can disrupt sleep for some - but not everyone is equally sensitive.If you notice it makes sleep worse, go easy on it as you build sleep confidence.Over time, you may find your sensitivity decreases and that you can enjoy alcohol again like you used to - without added stress.Living Fully is Part of the HealingYou don’t have to “wait until you sleep better” to live better.In fact, the more you re-engage with the things that make your life meaningful - relationships, routines, small pleasures - the more your mind begins to realize:“I can handle this. I’m capable, even when I’m tired.”And when the stakes on sleep come down, your nervous system calms down.The pressure...

You’ve tried mindfulness. You’ve tried pleasant distractions. But now it’s 3 am, and you feel like you’re crawling out of your skin.Get out of bed.This might feel counterintuitive. Isn’t the goal to stay in bed and rest?Yes—and no.If your bed starts to feel like a torture chamber, then staying in it just reinforces the fear and frustration that fuels insomnia.Let’s talk about what to do when it’s time to step away.Why Leave the Bed?Changing your physical environment can interrupt the fight-or-flight cycle.Your brain gets fresh input: “Oh, we’re not trapped. We can move.”This act alone can help reduce hyperarousal and make the night feel less claustrophobic.Leaving bed isn’t a failure. It’s a reset.What to Do After You Get UpYour goal is not to exhaust yourself into sleep.It’s simply to soothe your nervous system and return to bed when your body’s truly ready.Try:Reading in low lightListening to calming music, a podcast, or a videoDoing light stretching or breathingWhen you feel sleepy—eyes drooping, head nodding—head back to bed.Still awake later? You can get up again. You’re not doing it wrong.You’re not trying to earn sleep. You’re learning to live through the night without spiraling.5 Support HabitsWhatever you try—mindfulness, distraction, or getting up—these refinements make a big difference:✅ Don’t watch the clock. Time-checking = tension. Set your alarm and ignore the rest.✅ Drop expectations. Your night might surprise you. Let go of “I need X hours.”✅ Welcome discomfort. It’s hard to be awake at night. That’s okay. It’s not a crisis.✅ Conserve your energy. Less emotional struggle = more resilience tomorrow.✅ Accept weird symptoms. Racing heart? Twitching? These are anxiety, not danger.This process takes time.There are ups and downs. But every night you stop fighting and start softening, you’re reconditioning your brain.Peace first. Sleep second.You’re doing the work—and it’s working, even if you don’t see it yet.To peaceful sleep,Ivo at End InsomniaWhy should you listen to me?I recovered from insomnia after 5 brutal years of suffering. I also wrote a book about it. I've now coached many on how to end their insomnia for good in 8 weeks.Looking for a deep dive into the End Insomnia System? Start with the End Insomnia book on Amazon.If you are committed to ending insomnia for good in 8 weeks, 100% naturally, book a call today to see if we can help: http://endinsomnia.co/podcast

You’re awake. Again. You’ve tried deep breathing. You’ve tried mindfulness. Maybe it helped a little—or maybe it didn’t.If you’re feeling restless, irritated, or just plain done with trying, here’s another option:Pleasant distraction. In bed.Not scrolling your phone mindlessly. Not doom reading sleep forums.But doing something you genuinely enjoy, something calming enough to help you make peace with being awake.Let’s explore how this works—and why it’s a surprisingly powerful step on your path to better sleep.Step Away From the Sleep EffortWhen you’re dealing with insomnia, every minute awake in bed can feel like failure.The brain goes:“I have to sleep. I have a meeting tomorrow.”“This is going to ruin everything.”That panic is your sleep-stopping force in action.Here’s the truth: You can’t make yourself sleep.But you can do something enjoyable to reduce the anxiety and stop the spiral.What Counts as “Pleasant” Distraction?The goal here is to shift your attention gently. Nothing too stimulating. Nothing anxiety-producing. Just something that occupies your mind enough to steer it away from worry.Options include:Reading a bookListening to a podcast or audiobookWatching a show or documentary (if screens don’t rev you up)Ideally, choose something you’ve already enjoyed before. Familiar = soothing.If you feel your body start to relax—eyes drooping, yawns happening—that’s your cue.Close the book, turn off the show, and let sleep come.If sleep doesn’t show up? That’s okay. Just return to your calming activity.You’re not “trying to sleep.” You’re making peace with being awake.But Wait—What About Blue Light?You’ve probably heard screens are the enemy of sleep.Yes, blue light can suppress melatonin slightly. But that’s not what’s keeping you up.Anxiety is.If watching a favorite nature documentary helps you relax, that’s far better than lying in bed stewing.Use night mode. Keep the volume low. Avoid scary or emotional content. But don’t stress too much about the screen itself.Why This WorksWhen you make being awake less painful, your nervous system begins to calm down.You stop feeding the “I must sleep or else” panic.And that softening? That’s what creates the conditions for sleep to return—on its own, when your body’s ready.It gives you agency, not control—but sometimes, that’s even better.Next time, we’ll cover what to do when staying in bed isn’t working at all.Until then,To peaceful sleep,Ivo at End InsomniaWhy should you listen to me?I recovered from insomnia after 5 brutal years of suffering. I also wrote a book about it. I've now coached many on how to end their insomnia for good in 8 weeks.Looking for a deep dive into the End Insomnia System? Start with the End Insomnia book on Amazon.If you are committed to ending insomnia for good in 8 weeks, 100% naturally, book a call today to see if we can help: http://endinsomnia.co/podcast

You’ve been lying in bed, wide awake. Again.You check the clock. You do the math. “If I fall asleep now, I’ll get 4 hours.”But your mind is racing. You’re frustrated. Tense. Maybe even a little panicked.This might sound strange, but what if the goal tonight isn’t sleep?What if the goal is peace, even while awake?Today, I want to offer a powerful option for when you’re stuck in bed—something that can help you experience more calm, even when sleep won’t come.Let’s talk about mindfulness in bed.Why Mindfulness?When you’re anxious in the middle of the night, your mind loves to spiral:“I can’t believe I’m awake again.”“What if I don’t fall asleep at all?”“Tomorrow is going to be a disaster.”Trying to force yourself to sleep in this state doesn’t work. In fact, the more you try, the worse it gets. You’re likely familiar with that vicious cycle.Mindfulness offers an alternative. It says: “Yes, I’m awake. And I can be here with this, without adding more pain.”Instead of spinning in worry, mindfulness helps you anchor into your body, your breath, and the present moment.You’re not trying to fall asleep—you’re simply being with what is.And strangely enough, when you let go of trying to sleep, you create the conditions where sleep is more likely to happen naturally.The Body Scan: A Simple PracticeOne of the easiest ways to practice mindfulness in bed is a body scan. Here’s how:Start with your toes. Notice any sensations—warmth, tension, tingling, or even nothing at all.Move slowly through each area of your body:FeetAnklesCalvesKneesThighsPelvisAbdomenChestHands and armsShouldersNeck and jawFace and scalpSpend about 15–30 seconds on each part. Go slow. No rush.If your mind wanders (which it will), gently bring it back.You can do the scan top to bottom or reverse the direction. Either way, your only job is to notice.This isn’t a trick to fall asleep. It’s a way to become friends with your body and your experience—even if it’s not what you wanted.Why It WorksYour nervous system is highly reactive at night. Especially if you’ve dealt with chronic insomnia.Practicing mindfulness gives your brain new input: “Hey, maybe we’re safe after all.”And that message—repeated consistently—is what begins to unwind the sleep anxiety that keeps you up.You’re not pushing sleep to happen.You’re letting it happen when your body is ready—and resting your system in the meantime.Remember, the point isn’t perfect stillness or peace. It’s progress. If you feel just a little less tense, that’s a win.It’s Okay If It Feels HardSometimes, mindfulness in bed feels impossible. Your thoughts may be loud. Your body might be buzzing. That’s okay.If it feels like too much, you can shift to another option—like doing something calming in bed or getting up altogether. We’ll talk about those next.But tonight, try this:Let go of the demand to sleep.And gently ask: “Can I be okay with being awake?”Even if the answer is no, that’s fine. Asking the question is enough.To peaceful sleep,Ivo at End InsomniaWhy should you listen to me?I recovered from insomnia after 5 brutal years of suffering. I also wrote a book about it. I’ve now coached many on how to end their insomnia for good in 8 weeks.Looking for a deep dive into the End Insomnia System? Start with the 

Last time we discussed challenging your anxious thoughts.But sometimes, that alone isn’t enough.That’s where the second technique comes in: changing your relationship with your thoughts.This approach comes from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and is based on a concept called defusion.What Is Defusion?Defusion means separating yourself from your thoughts.Instead of being fused with them (as in: caught up, consumed, convinced by them), you create space.You go from being your thoughts to noticing your thoughts.2 Truths That Help with DefusionThoughts are input, not reality.Your brain generates thoughts 24/7.Some are helpful. Some are not.You don’t have to believe every single one.In fact, your job is to be discerning: to decide which thoughts get your attention.You can start by treating thoughts as “mental offerings.” Some you take. Some you pass on.2. Thoughts are impermanent.Even the most gripping thoughts eventually pass.Try this: Set a timer for 5 minutes and simply observe how your mind jumps from one thought to the next.Even if you want to hold onto a single thought, you’ll find your mind wanders.This is huge. It means you don’t need to panic when a thought shows up. It won’t be here forever.Defusion Tools You Can UseTool 1: Label the thought.When you catch yourself in a stressful story, say:“I’m having the thought that I’ll never sleep again.”Or just say:“Thinking.”This simple shift creates distance. You’re no longer in the thought. You’re the observer of it.Tool 2: Sing your thought.Yes, seriously.Take the thought and sing it to the tune of “Happy Birthday” or say it in a cartoon voice.“If I don’t fall asleep in 10 minutes, my life is overrrr!” (cue jazz hands)This doesn’t mock the fear behind the thought. It just helps you break its spell.The point of defusion isn’t to get rid of thoughts. It’s to hold them more lightly.One Final ShiftNext time you’re lying in bed, try this:Notice your thoughts. Label them. Let them be.And then choose what to do next anyway.You can let the thought come along for the ride without letting it drive the bus.Sleep is more likely when your mind is less reactive.And the less power your thoughts have, the more space there is for rest.You don’t have to win the battle in your mind.You just have to stop fighting.To peaceful sleep,Ivo at End InsomniaWhy should you listen to me?I recovered from insomnia after 5 brutal years of suffering. I also wrote a book about it. I’ve now coached many on how to end their insomnia for good in 8 weeks.Looking for a deep dive into the End Insomnia System? Start with the End Insomnia book on Amazon.If you are committed to ending insomnia for good in 8 weeks, 100% naturally, book a call today to see if we can help: http://endinsomnia.co/podcastIf you enjoyed this podcast, consider sharing it with a friend.

Anxiety-fueled thoughts are one of the main drivers of insomnia.As night approaches, anxious thoughts tend to ramp up.Then they often return with a vengeance in the middle of the night.For many, it can feel like walking on eggshells inside your mind, fearful that one catastrophic thought will kick off a chain reaction that ruins the entire night.It’s a frustrating and lonely place to be.But there’s good news:How you relate to your thoughts can radically change how much anxiety and distress they cause.And that means you can reduce the dirty pain that insomnia adds to your life.Two main techniques can help:Challenging your thoughtsChanging your relationship to themLet’s start with the first.Thought Challenging: From Panic to PerspectiveChallenging your thoughts doesn’t mean arguing with yourself all night.It means:Becoming aware of a stressful thoughtNoticing when it may not be grounded in realityExploring alternative, more balanced ways of seeing thingsLet’s take an example.You’re lying in bed and think:“I’ll never get through tomorrow if I don’t sleep now.”Pause.Can you remember a time you barely slept and still made it through the day?Even better, can you remember a time you thought you’d crash—but by evening realized the day wasn’t nearly as bad as you feared?Now, another example:“If I don’t sleep tonight, I’ll get too anxious to sleep tomorrow, and soon I’ll never sleep again.”Thoughts like this are truly not grounded in reality.Remind yourself of the sleep drive:The longer you go without sleep, the more your body pushes for it.You will sleep eventually. Your body is wired for it.And insomnia?It can feel miserable, but it’s not fatal. (Seriously.)A Simple Framework to Challenge a Distressing Thought1. What’s happening?Describe the situation.2. What’s your interpretation?Identify the thought you’re challenging.3. How do you feel?Name the emotion and rate its intensity (1–10).4. Now challenge the thought:Are there other possible interpretations?Is the thought accurate, based on what you’ve learned about sleep?What’s the actual likelihood of the worst-case scenario?If it did happen, how would you cope?5. Re-evaluate:Do your emotions shift when you see it differently?You don’t have to go through all of these questions every time.Just catching yourself in the middle of a dramatic thought and asking, “Is that 100% true?” can be enough to ground you.When Thought Challenging Falls ShortThere are limits.Sometimes, challenging your thoughts won’t be enough to feel better—especially if the anxiety is based on something plausible (like feeling tired tomorrow).And sometimes, we turn thought-challenging into a desperate attempt to control our anxiety, which keeps us locked in the struggle.That’s why we need another tool: changing your relationship with thoughts.We’ll cover that next time—and it might be the most freeing shift you ever make.To peaceful sleep,Ivo at End InsomniaWhy should you listen to me?I recovered from insomnia after 5 brutal years of suffering. I also wrote a book about it. I've now coached many on how to end their insomnia for good in 8 weeks.Looking for a deep dive into the End Insomnia System? Start with the a...

If you’ve struggled with insomnia, you know this isn’t just about feeling tired.It’s about the suffering that comes with not sleeping.The fear.The frustration.The feeling that you’re broken.The dread of the next night.The anxiety about tomorrow.It can feel like a never-ending spiral. But there’s a way out.It starts with understanding the difference between clean pain and dirty pain.Clean vs. Dirty PainThis idea comes from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and it’s a game-changer.Clean pain is the natural discomfort that comes from difficult life experiences—like fatigue from a bad night, sadness, or disappointment.Dirty pain is the suffering we add on top of that experience with our reactions.For example:Feeling tired = clean painTelling yourself “I’ll never feel normal again” = dirty painFeeling anxious = clean painBerating yourself for being anxious = dirty painDirty pain keeps you stuck.It’s the loop of overthinking, catastrophizing, self-judgment, and avoidance.It’s the extra suffering we create by resisting reality instead of accepting it.The more you engage with dirty pain, the more revved up your nervous system becomes—and the harder it is to sleep.But when you recognize it, you can shift.You can choose to feel the clean pain—and skip the extra suffering.Drop the RopeImagine you’re in a fierce game of tug-of-war with the “Insomnia Monster.”You’re pulling with all your strength, trying not to fall into the pit.You think:“If I just try hard enough, I’ll win. I’ll finally sleep.”But no matter how hard you pull, the monster pulls harder.You’re exhausted, terrified, and it feels like you’re losing ground.Here’s the twist:You don’t have to win.You can drop the rope.When you stop fighting, the monster may still be there—but the struggle changes.You’re no longer draining your energy in a battle you can’t win.You’re reclaiming peace, one moment at a time.You Can Choose a New Relationship with InsomniaYou don’t need to accept insomnia forever.You don’t need to love being tired.But you can learn to stop fighting every moment of it.Mindful acceptance is how you find relief.Not just when your sleep improves, but starting now.Even while things are still messy.Here’s the truth:You won’t always feel calm.You won’t always get it “right.”But every time you shift from resistance to acceptance, you take a step toward peace.And every step makes sleep easier.So the next time you’re lying awake, ask yourself:Can I stop fighting this moment, just for now?Then see what happens.You’re doing better than you thinkTo peaceful sleep,Ivo at End InsomniaWhy should you listen to me?I recovered from insomnia after 5 brutal years of suffering. I also wrote a book about it. I’ve now coached many on how to end their insomnia for good in 8 weeks.Looking for a deep dive into the End Insomnia System? Start with the End Insomnia book on Amazon.If you are committed to ending insomnia for good in 8 weeks, 100% naturally, book a call today to see if we can help: a...

You might be doing all the “right” things to improve your sleep…But if your mind is stuck in the same place—anxious, tense, and desperate to sleep—you’re unknowingly making it harder to rest.Here’s a simple but powerful mindset shift:Sleeping well starts with caring less about sleeping well.It sounds strange at first.Why would caring less help?Because when we’re desperate to sleep, we activate stress and hyperarousal in our nervous system—the very thing that keeps us awake.So what does “caring less” actually mean?It doesn’t mean giving up.It means reducing your emotional reactivity to poor sleep.It means accepting what’s happening in the moment instead of fighting it.You can train your nervous system to do this.That’s where mindful acceptance comes in.What Is Mindful Acceptance?Mindful acceptance combines two essential skills:MindfulnessAcceptanceLet’s break them down.1. MindfulnessMindfulness is the ability to notice what’s happening in the present moment without judgment.It’s the opposite of being on autopilot.It helps you escape the storm of thoughts and worries and recognize what’s real, right now.Jon Kabat-Zinn—who helped bring mindfulness into medicine—calls it:“Paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.”Mindfulness teaches you how to:Step back from your anxious thoughtsRecognize your patternsStop reacting automaticallySlow down and observeStay grounded—even when things feel uncomfortableIn daily life, this means noticing your thoughts without believing every one of them.It means seeing your feelings without getting swept away.That’s a superpower when it comes to sleep.Because when insomnia strikes, autopilot looks like this:“Oh no, not again.”“I’m going to be exhausted tomorrow.”“Why can’t I just sleep like a normal person?”That mental loop fuels stress, and stress blocks sleep.But with mindfulness, you recognize those thoughts for what they are: thoughts.Not truths. Not threats.2. AcceptanceHere’s where mindfulness becomes transformative.When you notice what’s happening, you can choose to accept it.That means:Letting a thought or feeling be there, even if it’s uncomfortableNot trying to fix, fight, or escape your experienceAllowing yourself to be human—even when it’s hardThis is what mindful acceptance looks like in practice:“I’m feeling anxious about not sleeping. I notice it. I’m not going to wrestle with it. It’s allowed to be here.”Acceptance gives you space.It’s not passive. It’s powerful.When you stop struggling with what you can’t control (like falling asleep on command), you take your nervous system out of fight-or-flight mode.That creates the conditions where sleep becomes more likely—not through effort, but through ease.Next time, I’ll share how this plays out in real life—especially when it comes to the pain insomnia creates (and how to reduce it).Until then, here’s something to sit with:What if you stopped trying so hard to feel okay…And gave yourself permission to be okay, even when things aren’t perfect?To peaceful sleep,Ivo at End InsomniaWhy should you listen to me?I recovered from insomnia after 5 brutal years of suffering. I also wrote a book about it. I’ve now coached many on how to end their insomnia for good in 8 weeks.Looking for a deep dive into the End Insomnia System? Start with...

In the last episode, I shared three practical ways to help you stop spiraling when you’re awake at night.Today, let’s look at what not to do.Because often, we unintentionally fuel the very anxiety that keeps us up.Here are five common habits that might be sabotaging your nights—and what to do instead:1. Clock-WatchingChecking the time might feel innocent, but it ramps up anxiety fast:“It’s 4:00 a.m. already?!”“Only 3 hours left before my alarm.”Sound familiar?This type of monitoring sends your nervous system into alert mode.Instead:Set your alarm and don’t look at the clock again.Hide it if you need to.Let your body experience the night without performance anxiety.2. Holding Rigid ExpectationsIf you go to bed thinking,“I better get at least 7 hours tonight or tomorrow is ruined.”You’re setting yourself up for stress.Or maybe you’ve told yourself, “I always sleep badly after two good nights—I know the pattern.”These stories turn into self-fulfilling prophecies.Instead:Keep an open mind.Let go of predictions.Assume nothing.Your body is capable of surprise, especially when it feels safe.3. Resisting DiscomfortBeing awake when you want to be asleep is uncomfortable. But fighting that discomfort adds a second layer of pain.Instead:Expect some discomfort.Make room for it.Practice saying, “This is hard, but I can handle it.”That one shift reduces the inner struggle.4. Burning Through Your EnergyWhen you spend all night panicking, you’re draining your emotional reserves.Even if you get a few hours of sleep, you’ll feel wrecked.Instead:The less you fight, the more energy you save.Being awake isn’t the enemy—it’s how you relate to it that matters.You can be tired and okay.5. Overreacting to Hyperarousal SymptomsDo you ever:Jerk awake right as you’re falling asleep?Wake up with a pounding heart?Feel pressure building in your chest or limbs?These are all symptoms of a revved-up nervous system.Instead:Label them gently: “Ah, hyperarousal.”Not a threat. Not a failure. Just a temporary wave.The more calmly you respond, the faster those waves subside. It’s easy to fall into these habits.But once you spot them, you can begin to let them go—and build new ones that truly support your sleep.--Looking for a deep dive into the End Insomnia System? Start with the End Insomnia book on Amazon.If you are committed to ending insomnia for good in 8 weeks, 100% naturally, book a call today to see if we can help: http://endinsomnia.co/podcast

If you’ve ever been awake at 2 a.m., staring at the ceiling, wishing you could just turn your brain off, you’re not alone.Most people think their only goal at night should be falling asleep.But what if that goal is the very thing getting in the way?Instead of forcing sleep, try something new: finding peace—even when you’re awake.That might sound backward, but here’s the truth:Trying to force sleep doesn’t work.It triggers anxiety and keeps your nervous system in fight-or-flight mode.But when you learn to soften your attachment to sleep and find a little bit of calm even while you’re awake, everything changes.Let’s talk about three ways you can respond to nighttime wakefulness in a way that helps your body feel safe and re-learn how to sleep.Mindfulness in BedPracticing mindfulness gives your brain a calmer focus.That might mean breathing deeply, doing a body scan, or just noticing where your mind wanders.You’re not doing this to “make sleep happen.”You’re doing it to experience calm in the moment.Ironically, that calm is what makes sleep more likely to return.Body Scan Practice:Start at your toes.Spend about 15 seconds feeling each area of your body—feet, ankles, legs, torso, arms, neck, face—until you reach the top of your head.If your mind wanders (and it will), bring it back and continue.Some people like to label their thoughts by silently saying, “Thinking,” whenever they get distracted.This helps you step back from your thoughts and return to the present moment.Don’t expect this to make you fall asleep right away.That’s not the point.But it will help your nervous system stop spiraling—and that alone makes your night more restful.Relaxing Activity in BedIf focusing on your body doesn’t feel helpful, try doing something low-key in bed.Read a physical book, listen to a podcast or calming audio, or watch something slow and gentle (without the intent to sleep).The idea isn’t to distract yourself until you pass out.It’s to break the loop of anxious thoughts and make the night feel less threatening.If you start to feel sleepy—eyes drooping, head nodding—pause what you’re doing and let yourself drift off.Get Out of BedSometimes, staying in bed only makes the anxiety worse.In that case, get up, stretch, sit somewhere cozy, sip something warm, and do a light, enjoyable activity—nothing goal-oriented or mentally demanding.The goal here isn’t to “reset your sleep.” It’s to reset your nervous system.No matter which of these three you choose, the goal is the same:To experience less struggle at night. To be awake without spiraling.You’re teaching your brain that wakefulness doesn’t have to mean threat.That shift is what helps calm the Sleep-Stopping Force—so sleep can return naturally, in its own time.You’re not broken.You’re just stuck in a loop.And with some practice, you can find your way out.Looking for a deep dive into the End Insomnia System? Start with the End Insomnia book on Amazon.If you are committed to ending insomnia for good in 8 weeks, 100% naturally, book a call today to see if we can help: http://endinsomnia.co/podcast

Let’s talk about how to deal with anxious thoughts in a new way—one that doesn’t involve fighting them.Earlier, you learned how to challenge scary or extreme thoughts. That can help.But sometimes, even when we challenge a thought, the anxiety stays.And that’s okay.The goal isn’t to never feel anxiety.It’s to stop letting anxious thoughts run the show.That’s where mindful acceptance of thoughts comes in.A technique called defusion helps you step back from your thoughts so they don’t feel so heavy or powerful.What Is Defusion?Defusion means seeing a thought as just a thought—not a fact, not a command, and not something you have to believe.When we’re “fused” with our thoughts, it feels like we are our thoughts.Defusion helps us create space between ourselves and our thinking.This gives you more choice. Instead of reacting, you can observe.Instead of obeying every anxious thought, you can pause and choose your next step.Two Big Truths About Thoughts1. Thoughts are mental input, not reality. Your thoughts are like messages your brain sends you. Some are helpful. Some are junk mail. You don’t have to believe every single one. You can thank your mind for its input—and still choose a different path.2. Thoughts don’t last forever. Even big, loud, stressful thoughts fade. Your mind is always moving. Just sit for five minutes and notice how many different things you think about. Even thoughts that repeat will shift, grow quiet, or disappear.When you start trusting that your thoughts aren’t permanent, they become less scary.You begin to realize, “I don’t have to fix this thought. I just have to let it be.”A Simple Tool: Labeling “Thinking”When you notice your mind spinning, try this:Say to yourself, “Thinking.”Or, “I’m having a thought.”Or, “I’m having the thought that I won’t sleep.”This small step helps you step out of the story and back into the moment.You stop being stuck inside the thought and instead become the observer.Once you’ve labeled it, you can choose what to do next.Maybe you stay with the thought.Maybe you let it go.Maybe you return to what you were doing. It’s up to you.Try This: Watch Your ThoughtsSet a timer for five minutes.Just sit and notice how many different thoughts come up.Watch how fast your brain changes direction.This shows you in real time that thoughts move on—even if it doesn’t always feel that way.What If the Thought Comes Back?That’s normal. Some thoughts, especially anxious ones, like to visit again and again. Each time, you can:Label it.Notice it.Gently return your focus to the present.Remind yourself, “It’s okay for this thought to be here.”The goal isn’t to get rid of thoughts. It’s to hold them more lightly.Imagine walking through life carrying a backpack of worries.Defusion doesn’t empty the bag all at once.But it lets you stop gripping it so tightly.You still carry it, but with less tension and more ease.And that makes space for you to live—to keep doing what matters, even with a few noisy thoughts tagging along.So next time your mind says something scary about sleep, try this:Notice it.Label it.Thank your mind.Keep moving forward anyway.You’re not your thoughts. You’re the one who notices them.And that changes everything.--Looking for a deep dive into the End Insomnia System? Start with the End Insomnia book on...

Let’s talk about thoughts—especially the ones that pop up when you’re trying to sleep.Anxious thoughts are one of the biggest reasons people can’t fall asleep or stay asleep.Maybe you’ve felt it too: bedtime comes, and suddenly your mind is filled with worries.Or you wake up in the middle of the night, and your thoughts race.One scary thought turns into another; before you know it, sleep feels impossible.You might even feel like you’re walking on eggshells inside your own head, trying not to think the wrong thing that will set off an avalanche of fear.But here’s the good news: you don’t have to believe everything you think.—Looking for a deep dive into the End Insomnia System? Start with the End Insomnia book on Amazon.Work with us if you are committed to ending insomnia for good with the End Insomnia Program in 8 weeks while doing it 100% naturally.

Sometimes, it’s not just the lack of sleep that makes you feel bad during the day.It’s the way you react to it.And that reaction can make things way harder than they need to be.There are two types of pain: clean pain and dirty pain.Clean pain is the kind of pain that naturally happens in life.Things like sadness, stress, worry, or feeling tired after a bad night.These are all part of being human.Dirty pain is the extra pain we add on top of that.It comes from how we react to the clean pain.--Looking for a deep dive into the End Insomnia System? Start with the End Insomnia book on Amazon.Work with us if you are committed to ending insomnia for good with the End Insomnia Program in just 8 weeks while doing it 100% naturally.