The Jackalope is back—and apparently therapy has taught them absolutely nothing.This week on Found on Shelf, Specc joins us for Dragonheart: Vengeance, the fifth movie in the Dragonheart franchise and the 2020 direct-to-video fantasy sequel nobody realized they were missing.A young man sets out to avenge his murdered family with the help of a mysterious sellsword and Siveth, an ice-breathing dragon voiced by Helena Bonham Carter. Sounds straightforward. Unfortunately, Siveth is also a vegetarian pacifist who can transform into a horse, dog, cat, and mouse, the villains feel like rejected Mortal Kombat characters, and the whole adventure plays like somebody found an unfinished fantasy RPG, deleted every side quest, and left in all the walking.Along the way, we discuss the increasingly inexplicable Dragonheart franchise, bargain-bin Johnny Depp, dragon gender essentialism, suspicious assassins, Linkin Park and Evanescence, direct-to-video sequel economics, and whether this entire story should have just been a PS2 game.By the end, we may not be able to explain what happened in Dragonheart: Vengeance.We will not apologize.Welcome to TERF THE MAGIC DRAGON.Found on Shelf: Technically a Movie Podcast.
Somehow, Dustin made it nearly 20 years without watching Twilight.Kalynn has come to correct that mistake.This week on Found on Shelf, we revisit the 2008 vampire romance starring Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson and ask the important questions: Is Edward Cullen romantic or just an extremely sparkly stalker? Why do immortal vampires keep going back to high school? Where is the actual downside to being a Twilight vampire? And exactly how cold is Edward’s pee pee?Kalynn brings years of Twilight lore to the table while Dustin slowly realizes what he’s gotten himself into and Patrick tries to determine whether Edward and Bella are somehow more toxic than Anne Rice vampires.Along the way, we discuss Team Edward vs. Team Jacob, Forks, Washington, Mormon vampires, vampire baseball, glitter, emotional support cacti, Edward watching Bella sleep, the surprisingly good filmmaking of Catherine Hardwicke, questionable relationship advice, Robert Pattinson’s deeply weird energy, and the enduring cultural damage of the Twilight Saga.Plus: our pitch for improving the movie involves more glitter, less high school, and considerably more vampire baseball.Welcome to Ice Cold Pee Pee.Found on Shelf: Technically a Movie Podcast.
Patrick promised Gabe they could watch a Dragon Ball movie.Unfortunately, Dustin picked the Dragon Ball movie.This week, Found on Shelf tackles Dragon Ball: The Magic Begins, the bizarre 1991 live-action adaptation that somehow manages to be a cheap knockoff, a surprisingly competent martial-arts movie, and occasionally a better Dragon Ball adaptation than Dragon Ball Evolution.Joining us is returning guest Gabe, who attempts to explain actual Dragon Ball lore while Dustin meets Monkey Boy, a plastic crocodile, discount Yamcha, a disturbingly accurate Master Roshi, inexplicable CGI fight doubles, and possibly the greatest googly-eyed Shenron ever committed to film.We also play Head Canon or Head-Cha-La, discover exactly how many adaptations removed from Dragon Ball this thing actually is, continue developing Horse Dog: The Movie, summon Scarab Jam, destroy another laptop, and confront several adaptation choices that absolutely did not need to be made.Against all odds?Temu Goku kinda rules.Dragon Ball • Dragon Ball Z • Goku • Dragon Ball: The Magic Begins • Dragon Ball Evolution • anime • live-action anime • martial arts movies • cult movies • weird movies • bad movies • comedy podcast • movie podcast
Patrick is back from the dead, Dustin is skipping through time, and somehow the safest thing inside the cursed video store is the sushi.In “We’re Just Bad People,” Found on Shelf takes on Dead Sushi, Noboru Iguchi’s gloriously unhinged Japanese horror-comedy featuring flying killer sushi, martial arts, zombie rice, sushi nunchucks, an acid-spitting egg sushi named Eggy, and a tuna-headed revenge monster commanding a floating sushi battleship.Along the way, we discuss questionable Grogu products, receive some deeply upsetting listener voicemails, revisit our history of accidentally insulting filmmakers, and discover the perfect new slogan for the podcast.Is Dead Sushi good? Does it make sense? Could it be improved?The answers are yes, absolutely not, and only by giving it a 4K restoration with Dolby Atmos.Found on Shelf: Technically a Movie Podcast.
In CGI Flydays, Dustin, Gimcrack, and returning guest Gabe dive into S.S. Rajamouli’s gloriously excessive 2012 Telugu fantasy-revenge film about a murdered man reincarnated as a CGI housefly.What begins as a romantic melodrama quickly becomes a full-scale Looney Tunes assassination campaign involving fly vision, micro armor, tiny weapons, occult sparrows, an increasingly unhinged billionaire, and one of the most spectacularly over-the-top fiery finales ever committed to film.We discuss why Sudeep is a certified sexual icon, whether humanity has dangerously underestimated the intelligence of flies, how Eega compares to RRR, and why a movie this good leaves a comedy podcast with surprisingly little to complain about.Plus: no trailer tonight, clone containment failures, inherited memories, Patrick’s uncertain medical status, plans for three unnecessary sequels, and Gabe’s future blockbuster Horse Dog—a touching story involving a doglike horse, an evil land developer, and a deeply suspicious incident in Needles.Found on Shelf: Technically A Movie Podcast.