Fragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery

One of the manifestations of growing up in a dysfunctional family is distorted thinking, so it is important that we learn that we are not responsible for these thoughts popping up. However, we ARE responsible for not listening to them. This week’s episode 204 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about why you’re responsible for your second thought and not your first thought!Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the tools I gained from recovery that helped me reframe my thoughts and the method I use to make sure that I am feeling my feelings, not just soothing them. You are powerless over your first thought. You are not powerless over your second thought and over what comes out of your mouth. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/ CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletterFree boundaries resourcesFacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! Buy Barb a tea

Content Warning: Abuse For my 200th episode, I asked my listeners to send in their questions for me to answer on the podcast and while I answered a few that felt fitting for my celebration episode, I wanted to dedicate a series of episodes to answer some of the questions that were more geared to boundaries and recovery in general. In this week’s episode 203 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m answering the last of your listener questions that came from my giveaway!Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! Some of the topics I cover in this episode include:A recovery update on a recent download I had and what I was able to uncover about resentment that I hadn’t previously. Things to keep in mind when sharing your story in recovery. How you can use healthy boundaries to recover from an addiction to excitement, fear, or chaos. The difference between new relationships and relationships that stayed in my life after setting boundaries. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/ CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletterFree boundaries resourcesFacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! Buy Barb a tea

For my 200th episode, I asked my listeners to send in their questions for me to answer on the podcast and while I answered a few that felt fitting for my celebration episode, I wanted to dedicate a series of episodes to answer some of the questions that were more geared to boundaries and recovery in general. In this week’s episode 202 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m answering more of your listener questions!Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:Making amends to people you have wronged. The difference between harming and hurting someone when it comes to setting boundaries. Setting boundaries for a group of people while giving them the autonomy to set boundaries for themselves. Advice and practices for becoming more self-aware. Dating again after coming out of a codependent relationship.  Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:Ep #42. Why Take a Daily Inventory CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletterFree boundaries resourcesFacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! Buy Barb a tea

For my 200th episode, I asked my listeners to send in their questions for me to answer on the podcast and while I answered a few that felt fitting for my celebration episode, I wanted to dedicate a series of episodes to answer some of the questions that were more geared to boundaries and recovery in general. In this week’s episode 201 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m answering your listener questions!Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! Some of the topics I cover in this episode include:Getting out of victim mentality after you’ve realized you're in it. How to develop and rely on a power greater than us (& the difference between reliance and dependence on this higher power).Creating healthy parent/ child boundaries when entering a new stage of life. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:Conversations with God by Neale Donald WalshEp. 11. GratitudeCONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletterFree boundaries resourcesFacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! Buy Barb a tea

Although we are celebrating my 200th podcast episode, I have achieved so many other milestones through recovery and have so much in my life to be proud of and celebrate. This week’s episode 200 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is my celebration episode!Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m being interviewed by my podcast producer, Alesia Galati, and answering questions from my listeners. Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:A brief walkthrough of the biggest lessons and milestones from my recovery journey. What sparked my interest in starting a podcast to share my life lessons and experiences. How I use the tools I gained through recovery to help others and how my own boundaries keep me focused.Overcoming the toughest parts of my journey with the help of my Higher Power. The biggest things I had to realize in order to transform my life. It is so important to me to share the wisdom it has taken my entire life to learn and I look forward to continuing this in episodes to come. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:Ep. 1. My story in brief Ep. 8. My Tools of Recovery Part I: PausingEp. 9.  My Tools of Recovery Part II: Reaching OutEp. 10. My Tools of Recovery Part III: Focus On Me Listeners to Leads: Double Your Downloads By Podcast Guesting with Barb Nangle Galati Media CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletterFree boundaries resourcesFacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! Buy Barb a tea

The number one thing that stops people from setting boundaries is dealing with the feelings of guilt and shame that come up. This week’s episode 199 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about four ways to manage your difficult feelings when setting boundaries!Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! I like to think of boundaries as the healthy midpoint on a continuum where enmeshment is on one end and abandonment is on the other. I’ll be honest when I say that getting to this midpoint is not easy but I encourage you to keep going and find the peace that boundaries bring. The four ways to manage difficult feelings when setting boundaries are: Connect with other people who are going through the same thing as you to reassure and guide you. Be (or become) a person of integrity. Establish your higher power and hand things over to that power. Use your intellect to change your mind about what you think. I start all my boundaries coaching with mindset work because you have to believe that being a good person includes having healthy boundaries before you can start to set them for yourself. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletterFree boundaries resourcesFacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! Buy Barb a tea“6 Weeks to Better Boundaries with Barb” online course BetterBoundarieswithBarb.com

This is the podcast "Fragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery." It will help people who want to heal to move from fragmented to whole. Hi, I'm Barb! I share my experience, strength and hope from 12 step recovery in each episode. They're all 20 minutes or less. Unlike most recovery podcasts where you hear a person's whole story, in this one each episode is about a specific topic. There are many life lessons from 12 step recovery that are applicable to those in and outside of recovery. This podcast brings some of those lessons to the airwaves, including such topics as learning acceptance, recognizing and overcoming victim mentality and establishing healthy boundaries.

Recently, I was talking with a friend and reflecting on how I managed to change some of my long-standing patterns of behavior and the methods for how that change process unfolds. This week’s episode 198 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how to change your behavior after 50 years in the other direction! Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing some of the big ways I have changed my life over the years and how learning to pause became the framework for every other tool I got from recovery. The framework I share for changing your behavior includes:You have to believe theoretically that change is possible for humans and if you don’t think it just yet, seek out people who have already done what you're looking to do and use them as inspiration. Start to entertain the idea that changing this behavior is something you can do. Think through situations you’ve been in where if you would have done the new behavior, things would have turned out differently. Continue to be committed to the behavior change. Understanding that you can stop and change directions is one of the secrets to living a life of contentment. You can learn how to stop doing the things that are not serving you, that are draining you, that are making you feel ashamed, unhappy, or unfulfilled. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:Ep. 8 My tools of recovery series Part I: Pausing CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletterFree boundaries resourcesFacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! Buy Barb a tea“6 Weeks to Better Boundaries with Barb” online course BetterBoundarieswithBarb.com

Looking back, I can see I had this ‘I want what I want when I want it’ mentality in many areas of my life. But now that I’m in recovery and emotionally mature, I’m able to see that it had a lot to do with immaturity. I’m now able to delay my gratification and make life so much easier for myself rather than harder. This week’s episode 197 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about delayed gratification- the antidote to “I want what I want when I want it.”Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing a story of the time I overlooked some major red flags and rented a camper van anyway because I wanted to fulfill my plan to go on a 6-week solo road trip. After many calls to mechanics and finally ditching the van, I learned a very valuable lesson about making my life easier by taking time and thinking critically. The secret here is delaying gratification long enough to look at the truth of things. Stop ignoring red flags and ask for help if you don’t trust your own judgment. At the end of the day, just because you want something doesn’t mean you should have it. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletterFree boundaries resourcesFacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! Buy Barb a tea“6 Weeks to Better Boundaries with Barb” online course BetterBoundarieswithBarb.com

A few months ago I recorded an episode called “Denial 3.0” and said that I had no doubt that in the years to come, I will be recording even more episodes about me coming out of denial as this is a lifelong journey. Who knew that it wouldn't be in the years to come but actually sooner in the months to come? This week’s episode 196 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is more instances of me coming out of denial!Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! I often share on the Fragmented to Whole Podcast my own experiences of coming out of denial to illustrate to you what this looks like and to help myself come further out of denial by bringing this stuff out into the open. This week, I’m sharing a couple of examples that have happened in my life recently where others have shed light on my part in things and helped me realize I was doing things I didn’t even realize I was doing. I also cover in this episode:The power of acknowledging and thanking someone for helping you come out of denial and apologizing for your actions, no matter how much time has passed. The ways in which I have been helpful in order to be controlling without even realizing it.Prioritizing impact over intent. I want to thank all of the people who are helping me come out of denial and who will come to help me in the future. My hope for you is that hearing my experiences will help you come out of your own denial and if they already have, I would love to hear from you. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:Ep. 99: How to Actually Understand the Difference Between Intention and ImpactEp. 1: My Story in Brief  CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletterFree boundaries resourcesFacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! Buy Barb a tea“6 Weeks to Better Boundaries with Barb” online course BetterBoundarieswithBarb.com

I recently talked to a friend from recovery who asked me if I had any advice or experience when it comes to rekindling an old friendship and of course I do so I wanted to share the advice I gave to her with you as well. This week’s episode 195 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is your step-by-step guide for how to mindfully rekindle old friendships!Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the advice I gave to my friend for how to rekindle an old friendship and some example language to use if you’re just not sure where to start. I do what to make a disclaimer that in this scenario, my friend was the one who asked her friend for some space so this may look a bit different if it played out the other way around for you. The basic steps I have laid out for you to use if you’re planning to rekindle a friendship are:Keep the focus on yourself, not the other person.Think about why you disconnected from the other person. Think about why you want to rekindle this relationship.Know why now of all times you want to do this. Ask yourself if you clearly communicated your issues with the person at the time. Ask yourself if you requested they take specific actions at the time.Get clear on what you’d need from the other person in order to stay in the relationship with them. I’d love to hear your feedback on what came up for you regarding your own relationships after listening to this episode. Especially if you’re someone like me who has changed and continue to change in recovery, I’d love to hear the things you’ve decided to say when you’re trying to rekindle old friendships or renegotiate the terms of your existing friendships. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletterFree boundaries resourcesFacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! Buy Barb a tea“6 Weeks to Better Boundaries with Barb” online course BetterBoundarieswithBarb.com

Although ACA started as Adult Children of Alcoholics, it is now referred to as Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families because whether your parents were addicts, alcoholics, chronically ill, mentally ill, militaristic, super religious, etc. any kind of family dysfunction can lead to the same set of traits. This week’s episode 194 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is part 2 of how to know if you’re an adult child- The Other Laundry List!Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! Last week I shared what is referred to by the ACA fellowship as The Laundry List- the 14 traits of an adult child to describe the traits we as “adult children” take on as a result of our dysfunctional families. While the original laundry list describes how we are affected by alcoholism and family dysfunction, it does not mention how we might “act out” those traits by becoming victimizers and adopting the behaviors of our parents, and thus, the seed for The Other Laundry List was planted. The 14 traits on The Other Laundry List include:To cover our fear of people and our dread of isolation we tragically become the very authority figures who frighten others and cause them to withdraw.To avoid becoming enmeshed and entangled with other people and losing ourselves in the process, we become rigidly self-sufficient. We disdain the approval of others. We frighten people with our anger and threat of belittling criticism. We dominate others and abandon them before they can abandon us or we avoid relationships with dependent people altogether. To avoid being hurt, we isolate and dissociate and thereby abandon ourselves. We live life from the standpoint of a victimizer, and are attracted to people we can manipulate and control in our important relationships.We are irresponsible and self-centered. Our inflated sense of self-worth and self-importance prevents us from seeing our deficiencies and shortcomings. We make others feel guilty when they attempt to assert themselves. We inhibit our fear by staying deadened and numb. We hate people who “play” the victim and beg to be rescued. We deny that we’ve been hurt and are suppressing our emotions by the dramatic expression of “pseudo” feelings. To protect ourselves from self-punishment for failing to “save” the family we project our self-hate onto others and punish them instead. We “manage” the massive amount of deprivation we feel, coming from abandonment within the home, by quickly letting go of relationships that threaten our “independence” (not too close). We refuse to admit we’ve been affected by family dysfunction or that there was dysfunction in the home or that we have internalized any of the family’s destructive attitudes and behaviors. We act as if we are nothing like the dependent people who raised us.Both parts of The Laundry List come together to fill the gaps and describe the traits that adult children of alcoholics and dysfunctional families often carry with them.LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:The Other Laundry ListACA FellowshipThe SolutionThe ACA PromisesCONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletterFree boundaries resourcesWork with Barb! 

A huge part of my recovery has been coming out of denial and part of my denial journey is coming to realize that I am what’s called an Adult Child and then, once I realized that - that more traits of an adult child apply to me than I once believed. This week’s episode 193 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is part 1 of how to know if you’re an adult child- The Laundry List!Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m reading what is affectionately called The Laundry List- the 14 traits of an adult child and sharing my experience of coming to realize how these traits apply to me- whether they were obvious to me at first or not. The 14 traits on The Laundry List include:We became isolated and afraid of people and authority figures.We became approval seekers and lost our identity in the process.We are frightened by angry people and any personal criticism.We either become alcoholics, marry them, or both, or find another compulsive personality such as a workaholic to fulfill our sick abandonment needs.We live life from the viewpoint of victims and we are attracted by that weakness in our love and friendship relationships.We have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility and it is easier for us to be concerned with others rather than ourselves; this enables us not to look too closely at our own faults, etc.We get guilty feelings when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others.We became addicted to excitement.We confuse love and pity and tend to “love” people we can “pity” and “rescue.”We have “stuffed” our feelings from our traumatic childhoods and have lost the ability to feel or express our feelings because it hurts so much (Denial).We judge ourselves harshly and have a very low sense of self-esteem.We are dependent personalities who are terrified of abandonment and will do anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to experience painful abandonment feelings, which we received from living with sick people who were never there emotionally for us.Alcoholism is a family disease, and we became para-alcoholics and took on the characteristics of that disease even though we did not pick up the drink.Para-alcoholics are reactors rather than actors.These are the survival traits we adapted to represent our “false self” and protect ourselves as a result of growing up in a dysfunctional family. If these don’t resonate with you, stay tuned for part 2 where I cover The Other Laundry List.Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:The Laundry List CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletterFree boundaries resourcesFacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! Buy Barb a tea“6 Weeks to Better Boundaries with Barb” online course BetterBoundarieswithBarb.com

Earlier this month, I set aside one day where I planned to take myself on a CEO retreat and do a deep dive into a project for my business. When the day came, it was an absolute fail, and yet, my life wasn’t ruined because of it. This week’s episode 192 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about the time my CEO retreat failed but I still had a great day thanks to recovery!Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m walking you through a day in my life where it felt like everything that could have gone wrong, did and sharing how recovery changed how I faced these challenges that would have otherwise ruined my day.  This story is a perfect example that going through recovery doesn’t mean shit just stops happening to you. Shit still happens to me all of the time. But through recovery, I have changed how I approach and react to these situations so that I can still live a peaceful life. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:Ep. 2 Acceptance Ep. 31 Overcoming unrealistic expectations Ep. 153 Learning to Have Realistic Expectations and Becoming Able to Let Things GoCONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE: Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletterFree boundaries resourcesFacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! Buy Barb a tea“6 Weeks to Better Boundaries with Barb” online course BetterBoundarieswithBarb.com

I typically record myself when I share in meetings so I can listen back and see how things have changed - how my perspective has changed and how I’ve grown as a person. I’ve never considered sharing these recordings on the podcast until a fellow in recovery suggested the idea to me and I thought, why not? This week’s episode 191 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is a recorded sharing from a meeting and it’s my ACA story about how I came out of denial. Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m doing something a bit different and sharing a recording I took from an actual ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families) meeting where I share my story of coming out of denial and how recovery shifted literally every aspect of my life. Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:How I approach situations in my relationships now compared to how I handled them in the past. The concept of “info, not ammo” that changed my perspective on how I interpret and process the things I uncover in my self-awareness journey. What I believe are the greatest gifts that recovery has given me. Some of the things I can do now that I was never able to do before coming out of denial and setting healthy boundaries. The biggest paradigm shift for me in recovery was coming out of a victim mentality. Before I could even begin to get myself out of it, I had to get out of the denial that I was participating in this mentality so that I could begin seeing the world through a different lens. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletterFree boundaries resourcesFacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! Buy Barb a tea“6 Weeks to Better Boundaries with Barb” online course BetterBoundarieswithBarb.com

You can lie, pretend, and go through the motions for so long but until you make the decision to participate in your own recovery, you’re not going to see the life changes you’re looking for. This week’s episode 190 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about participating in your own recovery!Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, my guest Dan Reeves shares his story of how his dependency on alcohol started and the path it took him down and how, despite previous experiences with AA, it was one meeting that finally shifted his perspective and lead to his major life change. Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:What it means to participate in your own recovery. What’s on Dan’s “miracle list” and how he uses it as a reminder of all the good things that have happened in his life that encourages him to keep going. How Dan uses his unique skills to participate in his recovery and celebrate others on their own journey.The importance of cultivating creativity as an ingredient to a thriving sober life.Having faith that no matter what happens in life, your higher power has more in store for you.Your job is to focus on participating in your own recovery. Leave everything else to your higher power. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!CONNECT WITH DAN REEVES:The Spiritual Underground PodcastSpiritual Underground on FacebookSpiritual Underground on YouTubeSpiritual Underground on InstagramCONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:Free boundaries resourcesFacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! Buy Barb a tea“6 Weeks to Better Boundaries with Barb” online course BetterBoundarieswithBarb.com

Through recovery, we learn to tell the truth in order to live with integrity but sometimes, the full truth is not anyone else’s business. That’s where what I call the “blurry truth” comes into play. This week’s episode 189 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how to hold onto your own integrity by setting boundaries using “blurry truth.”Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing how you can use “blurry truth” to set boundaries and find the balance between telling the truth without divulging all of the information and some ways I have practiced this in the past! Before recovery, I used to lie to people in order to set boundaries and that was because I didn’t know of any other way. Now I know there are alternatives to set healthy boundaries while remaining in my integrity and wholeness. Lying is not going to serve you in the long run. Your integrity matters and learning how to set healthy boundaries is all about living in integrity and living your life on purpose as the authentic person you really are and deserve to live as. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:Ep 39. Wholeness, integration and integrityCONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:Free boundaries resourcesFacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! Buy Barb a tea“6 Weeks to Better Boundaries with Barb” online course BetterBoundarieswithBarb.com

I realized recently that before recovery I had a set of dysfunctional tools that actually made my life worse and through recovery, I was able to replace those tools with functional ones that make things better. This week’s episode 188 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about dysfunctional vs functional tools & how to stop making things worse!Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the counter-productive tools of gossiping, pretending, lying, stuffing my feelings down, shame, hiding and denial that I used to use to manage my life and the tools I use now to manage my life in a healthy and productive way. Obviously, there are far more dysfunctional tools I could list but you get the point. Through recovery, I have transformed my life from using tools that did not serve and actually made things worse, to me having a whole toolshed of functional, healthy tools that make my life better. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:Ep. 2. Acceptance Ep. 12. Stop GossipingDenial episodes:Ep. 16.  Denial Ep. 23. Denial 2.0 Ep. 182. Denial 3.0Life on Life’s Terms episodes:Ep. 51. Life on Life’s Terms Ep. 166. Here's What It Looks Like to Live Life on Life's Terms, Not Life on Barb's TermsEp. 83.  FLAWESOME  Ep. 156.  Info, Not AmmoCONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:Free boundaries resourcesFacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! Buy Barb a tea“6 Weeks to Better Boundaries with Barb” online course BetterBoundarieswithBarb.com

I spent so much of my life searching for something and didn’t know what I was searching for until I found it in recovery. That’s right, these realizations never once came up in the 37 years of therapy, self-help, and self-discovery work I did before going into recovery. And THAT is why carrying the message of recovery is so important to me. This week’s episode 187 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about the 41 things I didn’t know before recovery that completely changed my life. Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing a list of things that I genuinely did not know about myself, the world, and the way things worked until I found them through my recovery journey. Some of those 41 things are: I was in serious denial about a ton of stuff (much of which I will be listing here).I could ask for help and accept that help when given. Pausing is a thing & how to practice it!I didn’t have to be in charge of everything.I didn’t have any integrity, boundaries, or honesty. What life on life’s terms meant. When I am late because I forgot to set the alarm or knock something over and spill it, I don’t have to be upset. I had a victim mentality and, therefore, blamed everyone and the world for everything. I had a ton of grief that needed to be processed. I had a lot of “shoulds” and wasn’t accepting what was actually happening i.e. reality.I had a sense of urgency at all times.I thought I was responsible for all the good stuff in my previous romantic relationships and my partners were responsible for all of the bad stuff. Accepting things that seemed previously unacceptable was possible. I understand that recovery is not for everybody but I believe that regardless of the want or need for recovery, we can all benefit from the wisdom that comes from it. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:Free boundaries resourcesFacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! Buy Barb a tea“6 Weeks to Better Boundaries with Barb” online course BetterBoundarieswithBarb.com

When we’re little, we don’t know anything different than how we’ve been raised so for a lot of us, until we grow up and get into 12-step recovery programs, we don’t understand that what we endured as children was abusive and dyscuntional. Until we realize this and no longer adhere to the rigid beliefs we were taught as children, we remain stuck in this loop of dysfunction. This week’s episode 186 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is part 2 of the origins and effects of adult child trauma. Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing more excerpts from the book Adult Children of Alcoholics, affectionately known as the “big red book,” and sharing the wisdom i’ve gained through my own journey on how you can begin putting the puzzle pieces together yourself and healing your inner child. Listen back to part one of this episode to hear more excerpts from the book and more about my journey and perspective of understanding adult child trauma. The excerpts I cover in part 2 of this episode include:The underlying terror we hold for the consequences of disobeying the rigid beliefs we’ve been taught. Believing we are inadequate of giving and undeserving of receiving love and making this unworthiness the definition of who we are. Dysfunction leading to feeling powerless and alienated. Diving into the feeling and unfeeling self to protect ourselves from the disorienting effects of living with confusion and pain. Making a change by believing change is possible and challenging the authority that our addiction has over us.Finding unity and mutual support through the group aspect of 12-step recovery to fight against the effects of abuse by authority. We are all beloved children of God. We are all deserving of love from God, from other human beings, and from our families. We didn't get that love from our families because they weren't capable of giving it to us, not because we were undeserving of receiving it. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:Ep. 8. My Tools of Recovery Part I: PausingEp. 21. Isolation vs Healthy Alone Time The ACA websiteThe Big Red Book The ProblemThe SolutionThe ACA PromisesTony A’s 12 StepsCONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:Free boundaries resourcesFacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! Buy Barb a tea“6 Weeks to Better Boundaries with Barb” online course BetterBoundarieswithBarb.com