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Caring more about what I think of myself than what others do is by far the biggest thing that has enabled me to go from having no boundaries to having really healthy boundaries. Keep in mind, this doesn’t mean I don’t care at all what others think of me, but it has become lower on my list of priorities. Experimentation is required when developing healthy boundaries, and I want to show you what that looks like. It will help you shore up your integrity. This week’s episode 161 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how to care more about what you think of you than what others think of you! Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of standing up for yourself and giving a shit about yourself and actionable steps you can take right now to care more about what you think of you. I was willing to throw my integrity out the window for the chance that people would like me. I would lie to get others’ approval, which ended up with me not liking myself, or my life. I was trying to live a bunch of other people’s lives instead of my own.I started to live in alignment with my values and, now, I like me and my life, since I’m no longer lying. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:FacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! Buy Barb a teaBetterBoundarieswithBarb.comMembership Community, Secure, Loved & BraveLinks: Link to a free 30-minute coaching session
I’m super excited today to have Andrea Ashley as my guest, she’s the host of the Adult Child podcast. I was in a step study group and somebody messaged me about her podcast. I listened to the trailer and after listening to two episodes, I knew she had to be on the podcast. She shares raw stories of recovery like you rarely hear outside of a meeting and she’s also able to pull concepts together in a way that are really understandable. She's also incredibly vulnerable and authentic with her own personal stories. Plus she uses the f-word more than I do! This week’s episode 160 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about Andrea Ashley’s story as a recovering shit show! Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m with Andrea Ashley sharing the importance of therapy and 12-step recovery in her journey to unearth her true self, and the healing modalities she’s used to address the trauma of her past. She also shares actionable steps you can take right now to start living for yourself, as well as identify triggers and symptoms of childhood trauma through her story. She shares how her life is now, after finally finding a therapist who’s a good fit four years ago, and ways she’s recognized her true self. Andrea identifies as a recovering shit show and says the word “fuck” more than I do! So I know you’ll find her story compelling and her honesty refreshing. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!CONNECT WITH ANDREA ASHLEY:WebsiteInstagramPodcastCONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:FacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! Buy Barb a teaBetterBoundarieswithBarb.comMembership Community, Secure, Loved & BraveLinks Mentioned: Book - The Big Red BookBook - The Abandonment Recovery Workbook
I’m kind of surprised that boundaries in the bedroom is just now touching the podcast; and even more surprised that I just now realized that what I am talking about in this episode is even boundaries at all. Setting healthy boundaries in all aspects of a relationship, including in the bedroom, is so important! This week’s episode 159 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about trusting yourself and setting boundaries for the bedroom! Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of trusting yourself and your boundaries and actionable steps you can take right now to build and set healthy boundaries around sexuality. I learned how to set boundaries in my 12 step recovery journey. Boundaries are one of the most important gifts I got from recovery, and they’re one of my most important tools of recovery. I was really attracted to my partner in the beginning because of his healthy boundaries. It was through his expression of healthy boundaries, as well as my own recovery journey, that I was able to set my own in the relationship. I also talk about the value in setting healthy boundaries in your own life and in your relationships with others.It’s one thing to be told to set healthy boundaries, and it’s another thing to hear the building blocks someone’s journey to build a healthy relationship for the very first time. That’s what you’ll hear on this episode! Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:FacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! Buy Barb a teaBetterBoundarieswithBarb.comMembership Community, Secure, Loved & BraveLinks mentioned: Ep 107. The importance of boundaries in recovery - learning from the outside inEp 125.  Top 12 Lessons on Dating and Relationships from 12 Step Recovery
Stop comparing yourself to others! It’s typically going to either lead you to feeling like shit about yourself, or it’ll make you feel like you’re better than others. Either way - not good. Instead, the power is in keeping the focus and the comparison on former you and where you are now. Most of us have gotten better throughout our lives, but it’s not always linear. This week’s episode 158 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about making the most out of your recovery by not comparing yourself to others! Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of keeping the focus on yourself and your own recovery and actionable steps you can take right now to compare yourself to former you, and not focus on others. What *you* think of yourself should matter more than what others’ think of you. What really matters is how you feel about yourself.If you’re comparing yourself to your former self, and don’t like what you see, then use that desire to make the comparison to be better. However, if you are comparing yourself to shit on yourself, that’s not the point either. What you learn when making the comparison is info, not ammo. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:FacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! Buy Barb a teaBetterBoundarieswithBarb.comMembership Community, Secure, Loved & BravePodcast Episodes Mentioned: Ep 66. Stop comparing your insides to other people’s outsidesEp 135 Go from Envy to Inspiration with One Simple Mind ShiftEp. 156.  Info, Not Ammo
I’ve been asked how to find the right sponsor for you in recovery, and as a sponsor myself I thought I would also share how my process for sponsoring. Just like everything in recovery, take what you want and leave the rest. This episode covers information for those new to recovery looking for their first sponsor, as well as those deeper into their journey too. It also helps those looking for a sponsor, as well as sponsors themselves,. This week’s episode 157 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about Tips on How to Find the Right Sponsor in 12-Step Recovery! Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of doing what works best for you as both the sponsor and the sponsee and actionable steps you can take right now to pick the best sponsor relationship for you. Some of the tips I go over in this episode include:What a sponsor is supposed to be, and not supposed to be, and what a healthy relationship with a sponsor should look like.My personal journey with recovery steps and my sponsors, including my relationships and what worked and did not work with my sponsor relationships.How being a sponsor keeps the sponsor sober and on track through their own journey.Common rules in different programs, and other things to consider before deciding on a sponsor for yourself. I would be happy to help answer questions about sponsors, however, I’m not able to be your sponsor or help you find one. I hope this episode helps you make the right decision for a sponsor for yourself. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:FacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! Buy Barb a teaBetterBoundarieswithBarb.comMembership Community, Secure, Loved & Brave
I can’t believe I have never done a podcast on the concept of info, not ammo. When you learn something negative about yourself, instead of using it as *ammunition* for you to beat yourself up, use it as *information* to integrate about yourself. This is so important especially in the 4th step inventory of 12-step recovery. This week’s episode 156 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about learning to use negative information about yourself as info to learn and grow from instead of ammunition to beat yourself up! Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of understanding the difference between taking information as information only, versus using it as ammunition to attack yourself. I also cover actionable steps you can take right now to be honest with others and yourself and stop manipulating information. I give the example of how I used this “info not ammo” principle when I learned that I was a people-pleaser, and that people-pleasers were dishonest and manipulative. I immediately wanted to use it to beat myself up over it - I couldn’t believe it! When I first started changing my ways to telling the truth and communicating directly with others, I felt like it was going to kill me! But I got used to it and now I feel so much better about myself and about who I am as a person. This concept of “info not ammo” can be a gamechanger for you too. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:FacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! Buy Barb a teaBetterBoundarieswithBarb.comMembership Community, Secure, Loved & Brave
One comment I hear all the time from people in recovery or who are trying to make big changes in their lives is, “It’s so hard!”. The hard that you’re currently living if you’re still using is actually making things more difficult unless something changes. This week’s episode 155 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how to stop lying to yourself about it being “too hard” and get on the path to healing and thus, less hard! Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of going through the hard and actionable steps you can take right now to stop telling yourself it’s too hard to accomplish, and just do it. You can do hard because you’ve been doing “hard” your whole life! It is hard to do the change, but once you do it the rest gets easier. Something being hard is not a good excuse to not do the thing; so stop saying, “It’s so hard” and remember you can do hard.If you do the hard work of whatever decisions or changes you’re trying to make, that type of hard is temporary. Doing this hard work will lead to healing. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:FacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! Buy Barb a teaBetterBoundarieswithBarb.comMembership Community, Secure, Loved & BraveWinston Churchill quote: “If you’re going through Hell, keep on going,”
I am doing something new in this episode that I've never done before; I am resharing a conversation from a year and a half ago on the podcast Reinvention Rebels. This is the first time I was ever on a podcast and you’ll hear how fresh and new I was to my message and my own voice. I relistened recently, and there’s a lot of good information in it! That’s why episode 154 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is a rebroadcast of my discussion with Wendy Battles on the Reinvention Rebels podcast! Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of reflection in my life for self-love and actionable steps you can take right now to be brave and rediscover yourself.Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:The two major transitions I had in the past 5 years; getting into 12-step recovery and getting laid off from Yale.The role of reflection, reimagination, and restarting my life again through my life and big transitions.The huge power of choice I gave myself by going through recovery and what that’s done for me.FLAWSOME; what it means and why it’s a big part of my mentality since starting my recovery journey.This is a fantastic conversation about a lot of the changes I have been through and many ways I’ve learned to love myself, judge less, embrace my flaws, and more that I know you’ll find helpful too. So be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening!If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:FacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! Buy Barb a teaBetterBoundarieswithBarb.comMembership Community, Secure, Loved & BravePodcast link:Reinvention Rebels Podcast Link
When I did the 12 steps in my second program, after I determined my defects of character in steps 4 & 5, I was tasked with picking 4 of my top defects and do some really deep work on each of those for steps 6 & 7. I had to define very specifically what it would look like if God removed these defects. That process came in very handy this week, even years later. That’s why episode 153 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast relates a story about how ordering a product from someone showed me the importance of learning to let thing go and set more realistic expectations, which were two of my worst defects of character.Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of letting shit go and actionable steps you can take right now to be accepting of things as they are. I used to hold onto things forever, especially my unrealistic expectations  of others, then later punish them for not meeting those unrealistic expectations. I still sometimes have trouble letting things go, but I am better at recognizing it when I start to lean into that defect of mine, and better control my own actions and thoughts through that recognition. So be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening!If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:FacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! Buy Barb a teaBetterBoundarieswithBarb.comMembership Community, Secure, Loved & Brave
Probably the most important paradigm shift of my entire recovery journey was coming out of victim mentality. I had no idea I had this mentality but I could spot a victim a mile away; I thought I could save them all. When I finally discovered that I had victim mentality, it was a huge awakening; what else did I not know about myself? That’s why episode 152 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about getting out of victim mentality! Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of not taking things personally and actionable steps you can take right now to take responsibility for the part you have in every relationship you’re in. I really figured this out myself while reflecting on my past relationships. I acted as if I wasn’t responsible for any part of them; the person I was in a relationship with was responsible for everything wrong, and I was just there (well, actually, I thought I was responsible for all the good things in those relationships!). This was true of all relationships: family, friends, colleagues, and romantic partners. This mental shift allows me to set boundaries, be more openly honest to those in my life, and recognize that it’s not always about me. It’s a completely different way of thinking. So be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening!If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:FacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! Buy Barb a teaBetterBoundarieswithBarb.comMembership Community, Secure, Loved & BraveLinks: Ep #3   Victim mentality Ep 126  How Understanding Your Part in Things Brings You Out of Victim Mentality Ep 106  How to overcome victim mentality even if you’ve been victimized Ep 59  Making Things Mean Things That They Don’t 
One of the most important questions I have learned to ask myself when trying to decide what is the right thing for me to do is “What are my motives?”. Your motives really matter when it comes to your own next steps, but other people don’t care about your motives. They care about your actions. That’s why episode 151 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about why your motives matter for you, but not for other people! Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of understanding your own motives and actionable steps you can take right now to live on purpose. When it comes to the question of motives, you have to remember that what your motives are matter to you because why you’re doing something has everything to do with the energy you bring to it. Being clear on your purpose and your values, will allow you to more deeply understand your motives and live on purpose. It doesn’t matter to the other person why you did something; what matters is how other people receive your intentions, or your actions.If you want to be a good, decent person, and live life on purpose, then your motives are so important to your actions. So be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening!If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:FacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! Buy Barb a teaBetterBoundarieswithBarb.comMembership Community, Secure, Loved & Brave
Alex and I met back in 2018, and the way he articulates his story is so inspiring that I knew he had to be on the podcast. Alex is in two different 12-step programs, one for behavior and one for substance, in his case, food. That’s why episode 150 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how Alex was addicted to comfort, and his story through that recognition during recovery.Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of understanding the difference between comfort and familiarity, as well as actionable steps you can take right now to start to understand your own behaviors around comfort. Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:How Alex came to recognize his addiction to sugar through a 12-step recovery program. How much bigger of a change his perspective shift was over his weight loss, and the perspective shifts he’s made along his journey.Alex’s relationship with a high power and surrender, and how that shifted from childhood age as a bully and being bullied, to today.The big difference between comforting, comfortable, and comfort, and where Alex finds comfort now, vs his past.Alex’s story of his own recognition of addiction and recovery are truly inspiring and encouraging. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening!If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:FacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! Buy Barb a teaEpisodes mentioned:Episode 44.  Comfortable vs ComfortingOther episodes about perspective changes from recovery:Ep. #15 Helping vs. RescuingEp. #21 Isolation vs. Healthy Alone TimeEp. #24 Stinkin' Thinkin'Ep. #28 Healthy vs. Unhealthy: What’s Your Motivation?Ep. #41 Discipline = FreedomEp. #44 Comfortable vs. ComfortINGEp. #46 Choice vs. Control
I heard someone talking about their journey to starting recovery and how they didn’t ever want to surrender anything because that would mean that they would lose. I don’t believe that surrender in recovery means you lose, so I wanted to bring it to you this week. That’s why episode 149 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how surrender leads to victory! Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of surrendering in recovery and actionable steps you can take right now to feel better about surrendering and lean into it to lead to victory. It never even occurred to me when I started my own journey that the surrendering you did in recovery was the same in battle or that people felt that way. You don’t lose in surrendering in recovery; in fact the surrendering you do in recovery leads to victory.I surrendered so many battles, and surrendered to the perfect rhythm and flow of life for me. That feels like victory to me. So be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening!If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:FacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! Buy Barb a tea
I used to believe that if I was curious about something, I deserved to have it satisfied, or I needed to have my curiosity satisfied. Something I learned through recovery is that I don’t have to or need to have it satisfied; I’m able to NOT get closure on things. I think my strong desire to know things comes from my confusing upbringing, but now I don’t NEED to understand things like I used to. That’s why episode 148 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about releasing the need to get closure and not be attached to outcomes! Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of letting go of the need to understand why or how something exists the way it does, and allow things to remain open without closure. I also chat about actionable steps you can take right now to learn to be okay with not satisfying your curiosity. I used to act like I could make things turn out the way I wanted to if I just knew more - which isn’t the case at all. You cannot control the uncontrollable. When I learned this in recovery, I also learned the power in minding my own business. When you spend all your energy on what you cannot change, you aren’t spending enough energy on what you can control - yourself and your actions. So be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening!If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:FacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! Buy Barb a teaLinks mentioned: Ep #2. Acceptance Ep  53.  Focus on what you CAN controlEp 86.  The serenity prayer- reimaginedQuotes mentioned:“When you understand, things are as they are.When you do not understand, things are as they are.” - Zen Proverb“There could be something, the know of which, changes everything.”
One of the most powerful lessons you can learn in recovery is that you are not alone. It was recently reinforced after receiving a Postsecret email. Frank’s story of how he created Postsecret and why is incredibly moving. That’s why episode 147 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about understanding that you are not alone! Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of community for healing and actionable steps you can take right now to feel less isolated. Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:The story of how Postsecret started, and how much shame so many of us feel even though we share so many common secrets and shameful moments.How humans are like pack animals; we thrive in community, and why we need to lean into that community to feel less isolated.How one of the greatest gifts from recovery is that we aren’t doing it alone - We are addictive and compulsive in isolation and we heal in community.There are entire communities of people just like you - even when you feel like it, you’re not alone. So be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening!If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:FacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! Buy Barb a teaSubscribe to Post Secret https://postsecret.tumblr.com/ (the largest advertisement-free blog in the world).Post Secret on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/PostSecret 
I titled this episode as if it’s a command, but it’s really an option. You get to choose to stop putting the blame on others. If everyone else really is to blame for everything wrong in your life; you may as well crawl under a rock because you have no options. I don’t believe this at all. That’s why episode 146 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is keeping the focus on yourself instead of blaming other people! Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of focusing on yourself and your life and actionable steps you can take right now to allow options to come to you. Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:Key figures in history who had been horribly harmed but instead of blaming others chose to focus on what they could do.Why it’s actually paralyzing you to blame them, even if they are actually to blame.What victim mentality is, and how to get out of it.How, by blaming others, you’re abandoning yourself, and why this is a key pillar in what I talk about with all of my clients.Focusing on yourself is paramount to change and growth, which is why I talk about it a lot with my clients and on the podcast. So be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening!If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:FacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! Buy Barb a teaEPISODES MENTIONED: Ep 3  Victim mentality Ep 106. How to overcome victim mentality even if you’ve been victimizedEp 53. Focus on what you CAN control
Years before recovery I was part of a spiritual sharing circle. One of the people who was part of that same sharing circle had been in AA for a long time, and one of the things he said all the time was, “It’s none of your business what other people think of you,”. It took me a long time to figure out what that meant. I was so codependent on others that I had no idea how to wrap my head around it. That’s why episode 145 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how to stop worrying about others’ opinions and start worrying about your own! Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of worrying about your own opinions of yourself and actionable steps you can take right now to stop caring what others think. Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:How we take it personally when someone doesn’t like us, and the various ways we cope with being disliked.Examples of ways people come to conclusions of others; and how it has nothing to do with you or who you actually are.How the serenity prayer can teach us to let go of others’ opinions, and why it really isn’t any of our business what they think of us.Ultimately, it’s not your business what others’ opinions are, especially their opinions of you, but rather the only opinions you should be worried about are those of yourself. So be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening!If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:FacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! Ep. 128.  Are You a Peach or a Pear? Not Everyone Is Going to Like You!Ep. 137. Learn to Love Yourself: 16 Things I Learned about Self-Love in Recovery, Part 2Ep. 136 Learn to Love Yourself: 16 Things I Learned about Self-Love in Recovery, Part 1
I got a message from a long-time listener asking for this topic in a podcast episode because she could really use some guidance on lowering your expectations. Turns out, I have 4 episodes on lowering expectations, and it’s been a huge part of my recovery and a foundational piece to my sobriety. That’s why episode 144 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about the choices you have that can end your suffering by lowering your expectations! Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of lowering your expectations and actionable steps you get to take right now to change those expectations to live a more peaceful life. Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:How I look at the serenity prayer to help me understand why I need to lower my expectations and only focus on changing myself, and how I cannot change others’.How I needed to lower my expectations around my brother, who is one of the smartest people I know but who doesn’t live up to his potential and my expectations of him, and deal with him as he is. The key differences between lowering your expectations and lowering your standards, and how the key to ending your suffering is NOT lowering your standards and it really depends on your values and setting boundaries.The power in understanding my part in things and keeping the focus on myself is where the power is.I don’t know about you, but I am fucking done with suffering. I want to get to peace. Hopefully, this episode helps you get closer to peace too. So be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening!If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:FacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! Expectations episodes:#31 Overcoming unrealistic expectations#77 Getting rid of expectations after the fact#88 Expecting Fairness#131 Let go of your expectations of others and meet your own needsOther episode#62 GET To vs. HAVE To#124 Why and How To Stop Falling In Love With People's PotentialAshely Montagu quote:“The deepest personal defeat suffered by human beings is constituted by the difference between that which we are capable of becoming, and that which one has, in fact, become.”
There is a saying in step 10 of "The AA 12 Steps and 12 Traditions" book that I share with clients all the time, which has also been super helpful in my own recovery. A lot of people assume it means that they are always in the wrong, which isn’t true at all. That’s why episode 143 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about if I am disturbed there’s something wrong with me! Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of understanding this phrase and actionable steps you can take right now to learn how to “un-disturb” yourself and start taking charge of your life. Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:My interpretation of the phrase and why it’s so important to me and for my recovery journey.How to figure out the things you can do to “un-disturb” yourselfHow my brother’s political views and yelling used to cause a lot of distress for me, how I tried to change him in the beginning of my recovery, and how I now set boundaries.What kind of slippers can you put on your feet? Where have you been trying to carpet the world? So be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening!If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:FacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! Links Mentioned: Ep 84 - Don’t Carpet the Worldhttps://higherpowercc.com/2021/03/12/84-dont-carpet-the-world/
Have you ever explained that the reason someone acts the way they do is simply because they are a dick? That’s exactly what I said about my father until a dump truck changed my perspective. One day as I was driving home from a recovery meeting, I saw a dump truck with two bumper stickers. Those two bumper stickers would flood my mind with memories that would eventually lead to a breakthrough of compassion I didn’t know I needed to understand. That’s why episode 142 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how this dump truck taught me compassion for my father! Support the show by becoming a Patreon member! In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of compassion and actionable steps you can take right now to help yourself come to terms with others’ behaviors. Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:My story of almost being crushed by an 18 wheeler at 16 years old, as well as another vehicle accident at 16, and why this relates to my relationship with my father.How I realized my dad was incapable of expressing other emotions besides anger, which I wasn’t able to understand until I went through recovery.How it all came together for me that day that family dysfunction is passed down from generation to generation, and how my father’s behaviors were actually the best he was capable of. Why it’s so important for you to understand that you are capable of compassion for others. Another important lesson I have learned is that I need to reach out to get help and be witnessed by others. All of these profound things are things I have learned in recovery. May these kinds of profound realizations come to you as well.  So be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.Thank you for listening!If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  And don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:FacebookInstagramPatreonWork with Barb! 
Comments (1)

Tammy Makuta

I love this podcast it's so helpful

Dec 7th
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