Claim OwnershipFragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery
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© 2024 Fragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery
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"Fragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery" will help those who want to heal to move from being fragmented to whole.
Hi, I'm Barb! I'm a boundaries coach and a woman in recovery. I share my experience, strength and hope from 12 step recovery in each episode. They're all 20 minutes or less and each episode is about a specific topic.
Many life lessons from 12 step recovery are applicable to those in and outside of recovery. This podcast brings some of those lessons to the airwaves, including such topics as learning acceptance, recognizing and overcoming victim mentality and establishing healthy boundaries.
299 Episodes
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Send us a textAs we know, boundaries are essential for our well-being, but communicating them effectively can be a challenge. Last week on the podcast, I shared the importance of mastering communication to create healthy relationships. As a continuation of that, I wanted to share my tips for how to clearly communicate our boundaries with others. This week’s episode 295 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how to communicate clearly, honestly, and politelySome of the talking points I go...
Send us a textBefore getting into recovery, I thought that I was a good communicator. While that may have been the case when it came to my work, I came to realize that interpersonally, I was actually a horrible communicator. This week’s episode 294 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how to master communication, avoid conflict, and create healthier relationships!Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:Examples of how I communicated poorly by speaking indirectly, b...
Send us a textMost people know that the goal of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is sobriety, but what they don’t know is that the goal of Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families (ACA) is emotional sobriety. And if you’ve listened to my podcast for some time, you will not be shocked to hear that the way to achieve emotional sobriety is through building healthy boundaries! This week’s episode 293 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how building healthy boundaries helps you ach...
Send us a textI have been following a guy named David Bayer for some time now and have been greatly influenced by him. One of the many pieces of wisdom he shares about limiting beliefs is that when we have a core limiting belief that we can’t seem to let go of, no matter how many tools we use, it’s often because that belief is connected to a person. Specifically, it may be connected to a resentment toward that person. When I heard that, I had the epiphany that my core limiting belief is that ...
Send us a textAs part of my ACA recovery journey, I have been making daily conscious contact with my inner family members, one of which includes my inner teenager. Through this inner work and checking in with my inner teen, I have realized that my people-pleasing ways have put me in harm’s way. Since I was often not able to say no, I found myself in situations I didn’t want to be in with feelings I could not handle, so I turned to using substances as a coping mechanism to numb myself. Recover...
Send us a textEveryone is on their unique path to healing. While there are many things we can gain from others’ journeys, every journey is ultimately different, so it is important to find the path that works for you. Jesse Harless came to terms with this realization once he was introduced to what some may view as an unconventional form of healing, cold exposure, and plant medicine. What he didn’t understand at first slowly became the thing to lower his extreme anxiety and keep him going on hi...
Send us a textIf you’re not familiar with the term acting “as if”- it's a common saying in 12-step recovery and one of the ways we learn to adopt new ways of being in the world. Acting “as if” is essentially engaging in behaviors toward the goal of achieving something positive in your life by emulating the person you want to be or the life you want to have. But often, I get people questioning how this is different from pretending, something those of us in recovery are tired of doing. That’s w...
Send us a textLast week on the podcast, I talked about how setting healthy boundaries was the key to changing the four patterns of overgiving. I want to further that conversation today by providing actionable guidance on understanding yourself better, setting boundaries that reflect your actual wants and needs, and upholding your boundaries once you decide on them. This week’s episode 288 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how boundaries restore balance and energize your life!If you ...
Send us a textI have always been a giver, but through recovery, I came to terms with the fact that I had been an overgiver. I felt obligated to drop everything and give to everyone at the drop of a hat, which was draining. However, through building healthy boundaries, I learned to give in a healthy way, pouring from the overflow instead of from an empty cup. This week’s episode 287 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is part 1 of Overcoming No More: Recognizing the Four Patterns That Drain You...
Send us a textMany people think that building boundaries is about building walls between us and other people. While this is true in cases where you may have a dangerous or toxic person in your life that you need to build a wall between, in the majority of cases, boundaries actually bring us closer to other people. This week’s episode 286 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about building bridges, not walls- how and why boundaries bring us closer to others!If you feel like you don’t know how...
Send us a textSince getting into ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families), I have come to understand that I have gift trauma. This is a form of relational trauma (sometimes referred to as little t trauma) that is a result of something happening in the context of a relationship over time. For me, this came as a result of feeling emotionally invalidated through gifts in my past relationships. This week’s episode 285 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about when gifts bec...
Send us a textThroughout my recovery journey, I have gotten into the habit of writing down personal revelations or impactful quotes that I come across to document my experiences and insights. Many of these made a profound impact on my perception of things, so I wanted to share some of them with you today. This week’s episode 284 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about control, fear, faith, and the power of boundaries- gems from my recovery journal!If you feel like you don’t know how to be...
Send us a textI recently came across the phrase, “Stop extending the life of your problems.” This resonated with me because before I got into recovery, I hadn’t realized I was massively extending the life of my problems for DECADES on end by ruminating on the past and catastrophizing about the future. This, I have come to realize, is a very common trait for those of us in ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families). This week’s episode 283 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast ...
Send us a textIt’s no secret that boundaries are the key to reclaiming your power, honoring your needs, and living life on your terms. And me showing up week after week on the podcast to lay the foundation for boundary setting is one thing, but hearing the real-life stories of those of us who are taking action and setting boundaries in our lives is inspiring on a whole new level! This week’s episode 282 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about real-life stories of saying no and standing fi...
Send us a textRecognizing and overcoming codependence can be a profound and life-changing journey, but undoing the deeply engrained layers of this behavior is not easy. I found this out the hard way after hitting what I call my “codependence bottom” after inviting my homeless friend to stay with me, leading to feeling trapped in my own home, and coming to the conclusion that I was codependent. This realization was a huge life shift for me and I want to continue sharing my experiences in hopes...
Send us a textFor those who have a loved one who is an alcoholic, you understand the uphill battle of finding the right words that will finally get through to them. But the reality is, we are just as powerless over alcohol as the alcoholic is and there is nothing we can do or say that will magically change their addiction. Laurel found this out the hard way and joins me on the podcast today as she shares her powerful journey with Al-Anon and how she learned to let go of the belief that saying...
Send us a textContent Warning: This episode has brief mentions of the sexual abuse of a child. One of the things covered in The Solution, a foundational document in ACA is that we will free ourselves from the shame and blame carried over from the past. Shame is just about one of the worst feelings in the world so to avoid it, we can get into the habit of displacing this feeling by blaming others, instead of taking accountability for our part in the situation. As a result, shame and blame...
Send us a textIn ACA we say that shame is the legacy of adult children and it is passed down from generation to generation. That’s why we feel shame for things that “normal” people don’t. This week’s episode 278 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about breaking free from generational shame and humiliation!In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing how, despite the saying that guilt is, ‘I did something wrong’ and shame is ‘I am something wrong,’ for me, it was more fre...
Send us a textWhether you’re in recovery or not, you may have heard the saying, “If you’re hysterical, it’s historical.” This phrase refers to the times in our lives when we may have an emotional reaction that felt completely out of proportion to the situation at hand and gives some insight into some unresolved trauma from our past. This week’s episode 277 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about the meaning behind the saying, “If you’re hysterical, it’s historical."Some of the talking poi...
Send us a textMany of us in ACA have had to pretend our entire lives in order to feel safe or get our needs met. We acted as though our family was one way knowing full well that was not the case behind closed doors. So let me be clear: acting “as if” is not the same as pretending. It’s a way of acting in a way that changes the long-standing patterns of behavior that keep you from moving forward. This week’s episode 276 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about moving from pretending to purp...
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