Freund with Benefits: Helping Bachelors

Ja-red to the Willie last name Tonder No one stronger Who can hold a plank longer Excuse me I got a few thoughts right now that I’d like to ponder so allow me the honor He was born in Colorado where the mountains grow Where they drink lemonade and speak real slow And yes that was a quote from LFO but if you weren’t a 90’s kid well i guess you don’t know Straight out of Alabama rockin southern flow With a straw hat sitting back playing banjo On his front porch rocking with a dog at his feet and a truck so-so next to the radio I really couldn’t tell you quite what is age is but he’s breaking new ground like his name’s John Smith If I had to guess though I’d say 29 cause he’ll knock you out and joke about it like a punch line (breath) Jokes all aside he’s a really cool guy who just wants to make sure that you can stay fly At the same with his fly swatter in his back pocket just to make sure that you will never try To cross his friends and we cannot pretend that it aint his birthday so l hope that you’ll spend A second right now to wish him well, cause all that he wants is some more cowbell

Happy birthday Wally, Basraoui, Play him on the court and you’re gonna get an owie 5 hours later and he found himself in Maui with a battle wound on his arm that he wore proudly Turning 27 at the seven eleven Wears Hawaiin shirts like his first name is Kevin Kevin Joseph Bernert that is his full name But when it comes Wally’s game yeah no body is the same Don’t mind him he’s just doing his thang Celebrating living life with the rest of his gang If you’re on the court with him well i bet you couldn’t hang So go back to your room and watch Chitty Bang Bang So yeah just wanna say Happy Birthday Keep your chin up cause it’s not the worst day Here’s a random question - how much does a bird weigh Sorry out of time - that’s the end of the word play

This is my Christmas card rap for 2018 Lyrics: So ring ring ring, watch them sleighbells go Just sit right back and enjoy the show For the rap de la Christmas card volume three Megan’s rocking around the Christmas tree Every now and then yeah I like to wear a parka Along with my homies Dan and Annalynn Pilarca And if you got beef then take it up with Aseef Or if you want change ask Brian K Lagrange Alright seriously here we go Bob your head to it and enjoy the show Eryn’s Clark Kent and she’s bringing you the flow Jarred likes the carrots and the badges with the merits And Jason’s in the back battle rappin with the ferrits Tae and his wife yeah they just had a baby Alex is a pirate and it’s ships ahoy matey Scott had a tot, and Pam had a yam And Justin’s taking selfies of himself on instagram Kevin’s having fun yeah in his new home Nick Levine’s ballin cause he’s riding on the chromes Zoey loves it snowy, Chase likes to fly Way up in the air with his homie Sky Thai Brian’s in the corner and he does the stanky leg Mike got the golden goose but he didn’t get the egg Meanwhile Emily acting like a goof Santa came down the chimney and he’s raisin up the roof

This is my next interview as part of the career series. My next guest is a Civil Engineer who received his degree in 2013. He’s a lively individual who’s frequently compared to individuals such as Johnny Knoxville and skater Bam Margera for his fearless attitude and disregard for his own personal safety. I’m just kidding, but he’s a very courageous guy who I’ve known for almost 10 years.

Lyrics: Can I get a Brack Duvall Let me holla back at y’all Beating up seals like Steven Segal You can find him in the class or in the bathroom stall And he learned how to use the force better than Darth Maul But that’s not all His best first line that used in the club a long time was Gimme your number...and I’ll call Yeah and he’s a young jolly green, charlie sheen, mr. clean, talk about the bean who makes a scene A jack in the beanstalk get your sunscreen It gets lonely at the top and I don’t mean to be mean But, he’s 28 years old, Or a lie’s what I’ve been told It was probably Pat Kilbane Either way it’s Brack’s birthday and I’m about to go insane

Scot-ty, taught me How to kick it when you’re chilling in Karate How to do the wave like you’re riding a tsunami It’s his birthday, time to serve him up some hot tea Mr. last name Saville Like a warhawk Closing in for the kill Pretended he was from Australia for a little thrill And he’s Better than Lebron when he does the windmill But it’s all chill, yeah it’s real G-doh St Patty’s Day he was green like Cee-lo Fooling all the ladies And he went a little crazy He’s the captain of the ship, and the chips ahoy mateys He likes to be nice like Forrest Gump At the same time closing deals like Donald Trump He learned about a model called T-I-P-O Brack can do the robot like C3PO The other day we learned a bit about negotiation Everyone so excited was like a celebration Especially Scott, brough his pen and his paper Like the day of the fight with Luke and Vader Here we are now down at SOS It’s his birthday and I bet you can’t guess How old he is and you better pass the test For that Big 2-9 he ain’t settling for less

My next guest is a Mercer University alumni (“Go Bears”) where she received her Bachelors and later graduated from their physician assistant program. This fluent Spanish speaker has been a provider for the last 2 years in Pulmonary and Sleep Medicine as well as urgent care and is also an active volunteer for the South Georgia Migrant Farmworker Project providing medical care to migrant farmworkers who otherwise would not have received proper medical attention.

Beginning clip taken from Weezy Wednesdays Episode 1 Lyrics: And you got Jarred, Middle Name Taylor Take your breath away better grab your inhalar Unbearable on his way to Baylor Found the key to life so he’s just like a jailor And he…swears like a sailor Fits like a tailor With Bob Marley and yes he was a wailer Magnitude so high just like a scalar All he needs is a vector She was right don’t correct her Found himself out west with not so much as a metal detector Which was tough cause he was a collector Stinky Pete named him the prospector

My next guest is a bulldog alumni from the University of Georgia where she ran track and cross country. She’s going back to school part time to become a nurse and for the past just over 4 years she’s been a flight attendant at both American and Southwest Airlines. Now I plan on asking her all of the regular questions I ask of my guests, but this is one of those career fields where you’re experiencing new people constantly so I of course wanna ask her what some of her best stories are. Please enjoy this episode with Abbie Robinson!

My next guest is a college teacher of Air Force topics for incoming ROTC cadets. She got her bachelors in Operations Research in 2013 and in her free time she enjoys the outdoors and training for marathons. She’s vigilant about both her health and her finances and she’s good at what some might say “balling on a budget.”

Happy Holidays! For: Jarred Langhals, Justin Hillstrom, Brian Lagrange, Aseef Raihan, Taeyoung Lee, Jason Butler, Emily/Scott Lagarile, Sky Thai, Nick Levine, Andre Ball, Chase Eriksen, Kevin Crawford, Katie Hansen, Kramer Young, Kat Vardell, Ben Hubers, Lance Dudkowski, Mike Kljucaric, Nick Clayton, Pam Zhang, Alexa Gingras, Eryn Avjian, Sean Mitchell, Tamara Racic, Megan Rutherford, Steven Chon, Alex Jessop, Dan Whitehead, Zoe Krzywda, Ryan Sinclair, Natalie Williams, Brian/Julia Kroeger Lyrics: 1st verse: And so it all began in the West with Jarred Langhals Justin Hillstrom says you’re killing me smalls You got Brian K Lagrange with a little bit of change And Aseef Raihan goin on about the stock exchange Taeyoung is cool and so is Jason Marquis Along with Emily and scott lagaril-ee Sky Thai to the gulf coast said see ya Nick Levine way out in South Korea Chase and Andre yeah they just had a kid Kevin had his second, Katie went to Madrid Pamela’s in the pool, Kramer acted a fool But it’s all cool, cause dogs drool and Kat rules Ben’s pickin apples out in California Lance became a knight I just had to warn ya Mike rides a bike and he also likes to hike Nick Clayton spitting bars guess he didn’t like the Klondike Chorus: Happy holidays all the way around the globe From Alexa down to Eryn, and Sean Michael Job From the east coast west coast and the ones who I love most I’d like to propose a toast Happy holidays to the folks around the way Just a few words now that I would like to say Happy Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, and Christmas too To everyone I’ve ever known and my whole crew 2nd verse: Now to the rest of the folks way down in Georgia Tamara every now and then likes to wear a fedora, She’ll adore ya with Megan on their way to Atlanta while they’re jamming out to Pandora And Daddy Chon’s holding it down That’s what he likes to be called with Alex around Dan said to Zoe, yo salutations She’s in Beavercreek now congratulations Ryan and Natalie had a good bond Their love of Rhinegeist is above and beyond Julia and Brian didn’t raise no fool Except the dog in the sweater and her name is Joule So I think that’s it all I wanted to cover Cheers to the holiday we’re bout to discover A whole nother year and we’ll probably hear About how grandma got runover by a reindeer

A Bonus Episode I did with my well-traveled friend, Aseef Raihan. He comes onto the show to share some of his experiences.

Born in Maryland, raised in New Jersey, and eventually made his way to NYC. Korean American standup comedian John Kim uses his experience and observations to give audience members a new perspective on everyday life. John regularly performs at the world famous Comic Strip Live in New York. He has accepted and performed at various comedy festivals across the nation and continues to gain traction as one of the rising stars in NYC for stand up comedy. You can find John on social media @johnkimcomedy on Facebook and Instagram.

Instrumental produced by The Passion HiFi (thepassionhifi.com) Lyrics: Another one already? Well could it really be? The Sky Thai rap now we’re on volume 3 Raise your hands up all the way to the Sky For the man in the blue topped off with a tie Can’t believe really just how long that it’s been Since the days of the Florida gulf down at Eglin Hope it’s been swell, now that you’re on the East Coast Likes to cook a lot not that one that will eat most Surviving all the mojitos and hurricanes He’s an optimistic guy doesn’t like to complain 27 years old, got his whole life ahead of him Listens to shakira so you best not forget it when The time comes around in the song to say que? There’s a reason for this rap, the occasion of the day For us to say Sky you’re a guy that’s okay Time to max and relax, have a happy birthday

Instrumental produced by The Passion HiFi (thepassionhifi.com) Lyrics: This for the one for the only, kind of like a ceremony Little birthday testimony time to get the macaroni For that Georgette Eva, or do you say it Eeva Now she’s in New York and she’s living like a diva Less than a month away from turning out a libra Smash Mouth saw her face and now he’s a Believa (break) Georgia State summa cum laude on the boulevard Standup is her space jam she grew up on the toon squad Birth mark on her arm looking like America Her main man Washington is right there with ya (break) Pretty soon she’ll be swimming round in circles near the bay But, she can’t swim, so that is not this day This rap coming to you now a little bit late, And I hope I didn’t frustrate, for the lack of calculate-ing The impact that this blessed day would have 56th birthday you can cut that in halve

Instrumental discovered on Jee Juh Beats Soundcloud. Lyrics: It’s 2017… It’s been a long time since the days of, Best of to be seen, and the big bad and mean from 2013 And I think it’s bout time that we all reconvene Wouldn’t you agree Maybe we can do what they do in England and have a cup of tea? Why not right? Was it Cosby, nah, it must have been Cosby Today’s the birthday of Morgan D Mosby So sit back, relax, it’s time to get cozy And it’s smelling like success, so feel free to get nosy You can find her in the Rockies, hanging on the teeter totter Shout out Dasani, where you get your bottled water Expecting some patronum all the way from Harry Potter From the School of Hard Knocks, was to be her alma mater With the traits of Morgan Freeman minus last name and the gender Just a little fair warning to the wannabe contenders You’re much better off if you go and befriend her cause They call her Brave Heart, and they know she won’t surrender She’s like a real thriller, no filler Today a butterfly, once was a caterpillar She’s better than aspirin when it comes to painkillers She’s a fan of budweiser and she likes to drink Miller She’s out of Colorado and she likes to run track While she’s listening to Drake each day back to back And say a lot about her but you can’t say she’s wack Don’t believe me? Go test it. While you’re at it grab an ice pack.

Instrumental belongs to @Air-kalo Lyrics: I was always to told to be careful when I eat a blowfish Later in life had to be-ware of Godish She’s silent but deadly like you would not even notice And a master of the yoga, doing poses like the lotus She’s one with the nature cause she’s always outside Biking up and down hills sporting war-hawk pride Make you laugh more than a dose of nitrous oxide But she can get a little salty so they call her iodide Did I mention that,... her first name’s Sarah K, Eating special K like she’s all the way from Paraguay She’s a young rebel so she never goes to matinee Like Kelly Clarkson it was time for her to breakaway But not quite fadeaway, she likes to use layaway Coming full force like the hulk no gamma ray And I apologize I went astray Oh yeah Happy birthday

Instrumental belongs to @Air-Kalo Lyrics: Just a little birthday rap for that Ryan B Dukes Going downtown someone rally up the troops Turn down for what yeah you’ll find it on loop He’s like hey, there it is, but he forgot to say whoop! He’s turning 28, now let me translate He just hit a grand slam now he’s off to home plate The eighth month of the year and he’s wrestling a steer And he’s fishing off a pier, now he’s grabbing all the beer He comes from a little city known as Orlando You’ll burn to a crisp but at least you get tan though Sunshine state of mind, everybody’s feeling fine Hit the front nine, hit the back nine, hit the middle nine Nah wait, I’m just kidding bout the middle On a good day, yeah you’ll find him playin fiddle Singing of the times with his dog named lassie Reminding everyone that they better stay classy

Ray-Ban rap feat. Brian Lagrange Instrumental prod. by Tone Jonez Lyrics: Well I didn’t like how my black shades looked So I went right ahead and I picked up a book It was more like a catalogue with all these great styles With Good looking people, pearly whites in their smiles Sporting sunglasses fresh like the clubmaster Perfect for the optimistic weather forecaster Ran into the waiter he was wearing aviators Ray Ban’s an indicator of a smooth operator I was also considering the black wayfarers Couldn’t decide if I want-ed a pair or Maybe the Erica’s, shading the area They look real retro like 80’s America It took me awhile yeah before I would find. Clubrounds were the pick and I made up my mind They gave me the most desired expression Ray Ban, genuine since 1937 Chorus: Got my Ray Ban’s on, and I’m feeling A-Ok Sun shining down like every day They have 95 lenses and 19 styles 300 colors rainbows for miles They got lens performance and frame innovation Rayban.com is my citation Got mine today, perfect compensation You know what this means, Time for celebration 2nd verse: They say the windows to your soul are your eyes Throw them Ray Bans so I can see your aura magnified Or slightly slide them down, so I can see the people’s eyebrow you got the wayfarers on, my favorite Don’t forget the blazed ones Futuristic look, throwback tasteness Come check my colorful collection of ocular lenses Select any one to make you feel stupendous. And Corey Hart was right, you gotta rock em at night Cuz when your future lookin this bright, you might lose ya sight Lookin cool, Top Gun Tom Cruise in M.I. 2 Shout out to my AF Aviators who rock real Aviators Keep killin it whether you in platforms or trainers When you see that shade bein thrown, Just say a smart remark and throw your shades on, Caine Horatio Everybody wears Bobby Rays, from Cali to New York down to FLA Don’t matter if they fake or real Only thing that matters is how they make you feel

Lyrics: Woke up in the morning rocking lemon like lulu In central park yogi bear and the bubu Try to speak with the cows all you get is a moo moo Lady Gaga met the man Mr. goo goo But that’s besides the topic Strap and flow, go a-head and drop it For the metal vent tech, the pace breaker, city-slate Once you walk through the doors, now it’s time to take the bait If you’re feeling kinda fast and you feel a little free You might find a little joy, strap happy, therapy You get high quality with very little stink Time to try the wunder under and don’t even blink Next time you feel like heading on down to Yemen Maybe instead try lululemon And let me tell ya young there’s no need to be afraid When life gives you lemons make lululemonade Drink that lululemonade, stop that sweet tea haterade Get to doin that Yoga like Ms. Monae In them pants by lululemón, Saludos a mi madre, I love you the most If your girl get Mad & Moody, take her to lulu to get bad & boujee Pants never rip when you overstretchin, so you never stressin Got you saying Daaaaaamn like Kendrick Lamar She do crossfit? Cuz she done raised up the bar You do anythin in em Like Jog Squat Pop Drop it like its hot Or wear em as you listen to the podcast that gives you “friendly”attention Dimelo Russ uhh next question You the real MVP!, Only pants you should be in goin HARDEN and flexin Im tellin you the truth