Funny Business

Snow is falling, the flu is spreading, and the Belschnickel is crawling across your roof with four cows and four steers. Mike breaks out a Pennsylvania Dutch Night Before Christmas, Matt fights sickness armed with a vintage shovel, and someone’s deodorant routine is hanging by a very thin thread.00:00 Intro03:29 Reading of the Pennsylvania Dutch Night before Christmas by Chet Williamson18:10 Person of the Week19:53 Down in the Dumps38:15 Advice and OutroSupport the timeless work of Chet Williamson and James Rice by buying the book here: https://a.co/d/hHDJZ0rFollow Funny Business on Spotify for weekly episodes.More at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://beacons.ai/funnybusinesspod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Note: The opinions expressed in this show are the hosts' views and not necessarily those of any business or organization. The podcast hosts are solely responsible for the content of this show.

Santa’s got a new Christmas banger and we’re fully obsessed. Mike’s back from his honeymoon with stingray stories, surprise tequila, and a mongoose sighting. Matt’s mad about college football rankings, but at least a TikTok helped an 88-year-old retire with $1.7 million. Chaos, karaoke, and Caribbean vibes await.00:00 Intro03:36 88-year-old Michigan grocery cashier overwhelmed by sudden $1.7M gift14:30 Person of the Week17:23 Say What?49:43 Advice and OutroFollow Funny Business on Spotify for weekly episodes.More at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://beacons.ai/funnybusinesspod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Note: The opinions expressed in this show are the hosts' views and not necessarily those of any business or organization. The podcast hosts are solely responsible for the content of this show.

Have you ever laughed so hard you questioned your life choices? Matt might have. Mike swears he didn’t. This week we dive into a chaotic round of “Never Have I Ever” that derails into moral dilemmas, matching honeymoon outfits, and drive-thru small talk that goes completely off the rails.00:00 Intro04:25 “Never Have I Ever” gets weirdly personal18:23 Person of the Week20:33 Community Take It!32:15 Advice and OutroFollow Funny Business on Spotify for weekly episodes.More at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://beacons.ai/funnybusinesspod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Note: The opinions expressed in this show are the hosts' views and not necessarily those of any business or organization. The podcast hosts are solely responsible for the content of this show.

Which Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon are you holding on to? Matt went full Super Saiyan over Goku, flirted with Mario, and still somehow ended up swinging into Spider-Man’s arms. Someone also walked away with a cup of pure Dunkin’ cream with no coffee in sight.Plus, we’re giving thanks in the most chaotic way possible with another round of “Cheers to You,” where quarter zips and postal workers finally get the appreciation they deserve.00:00 Intro04:48 Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon bracket showdown24:07 Person of the Week24:54 Cheers To You!38:58 Advice and OutroFollow Funny Business on Spotify for weekly episodes.More at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://beacons.ai/funnybusinesspod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Note: The opinions expressed in this show are the hosts' views and not necessarily those of any business or organization. The podcast hosts are solely responsible for the content of this show.

Target just launched a new employee policy that demands smiling, waving, and “helpful energy” when customers are within a 10-foot radius. So naturally, Mike and Matt break down why this is probably the worst possible timing to become overly friendly. Also in this episode: an all-you-can-eat honeymoon hot dog plan, a bold burrito betrayal, and a very questionable claim from one of baseball’s biggest names.00:00 Intro02:36 Target workers and shoppers slam company’s new forced greeting policy: ‘Nothing says corporate joy like a mandatory smile’17:24 Person of the Week21:51 Buy Or Sell45:19 Outro and AdviceFollow Funny Business on Spotify for weekly episodes.More at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://beacons.ai/funnybusinesspod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Note: The opinions expressed in this show are the hosts' views and not necessarily those of any business or organization. The podcast hosts are solely responsible for the content of this show.

What would you give up to make $3,000 a day? Turns out all you need is great hands, a daily manicure, and the ability to hold a dove for Chanel. Also in this episode: Mike's miraculous hubcap reunion, Matt's unsolicited geography lesson, and a whole lot of questionable career planning.00:00 Intro02:25 Here’s how much you can earn per day as a professional hand model14:48 Person of the Week16:51 Down in the Dumps26:49 Advice and OutroFollow Funny Business on Spotify for weekly episodes.More at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://beacons.ai/funnybusinesspod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Note: The opinions expressed in this show are the hosts' views and not necessarily those of any business or organization. The podcast hosts are solely responsible for the content of this show.

Dictionary.com says the Word of the Year is… 6-7. And no, it’s not a typo, it’s a vibe. From Gen Alpha chaos in math class to ESPN beefing with YouTube TV, plus our ultimate wedding song power rankings, this episode has everything you didn’t know you needed.00:00 Intro03:02 Dictionary.com’s 2025 Word of the Year — “67”16:48 Person of the Week20:38 Funny Business Power Rankings35:15 Outro and AdviceFollow Funny Business on Spotify for weekly episodes.More at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://beacons.ai/funnybusinesspod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Note: The opinions expressed in this show are the hosts' views and not necessarily those of any business or organization. The podcast hosts are solely responsible for the content of this show.

Corrupt officials, cyber attacks, and pumpkin pie—this week, we’re delving into America’s deepest fears and rating fruits. From government surveillance to blueberry slander, no topic is off-limits, not even bananas.00:00 Intro06:08 What do Americans fear most? The answers to this foreboding study might surprise you15:35 Person of the Week17:10 Check The Ratings38:40 Advice and OutroFollow Funny Business on Spotify for weekly episodes.More at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://beacons.ai/funnybusinesspod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Note: The opinions expressed in this show are the hosts' views and not necessarily those of any business or organization. The podcast hosts are solely responsible for the content of this show.

Dude. Where did that come from?! This week, Matt and Mike dig into the wild history of the word “dude" from 1800s fashion icons to surfer slang and zoot suits. Plus, a Louvre heist straight out of Ocean’s 11 and a surprise moon orbiting Earth that has scientists doing double takes!00:00 Intro02:53 Dude, the history behind the word dude is wild13:21 Person of the Week15:40 Buy or Sell41:11 Outro and AdviceFollow Funny Business on Spotify for weekly episodes.More at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://beacons.ai/funnybusinesspod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Note: The opinions expressed in this show are the hosts' views and not necessarily those of any business or organization. The podcast hosts are solely responsible for the content of this show.

Mike brought beer and a baby. Matt brought a boat. Only one of them survived the island. This week’s challenge: survive wild scenarios using just five items that start with the same letter. It’s a chaotic mix of logic, panic, and very questionable decisions.00:00 Intro02:00 Surviving With Items That Start With The Same Letter20:47 Person of the Week21:54 Down In The Dumps35:53 Outro and AdviceFollow Funny Business on Spotify for weekly episodes.More at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://beacons.ai/funnybusinesspod⁠⁠⁠⁠Note: The opinions expressed in this show are the hosts' views and not necessarily those of any business or organization. The podcast hosts are solely responsible for the content of this show.

A toilet that uses AI to analyze your poop? Yep, and Lance Armstrong is backing it. This week, the guys flush out the weirdest tech story of the year.00:00 Intro02:06 New Device Mounts to Your Toilet to Analyze Your Turds Using the Power of AI14:27 Person of the Week15:20 Sayyy Whatt?22:15 Outro and AdviceFollow Funny Business on Spotify for weekly episodes.More at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://beacons.ai/funnybusinesspod⁠⁠⁠Note: The opinions expressed in this show are the hosts' views and not necessarily those of any business or organization. The podcast hosts are solely responsible for the content of this show.

From Michael Jackson standing still for two full minutes to Left Shark forgetting the choreography to Prince performing Purple Rain in the actual rain. We’re running through the weirdest Super Bowl halftime show moments of all time.And because the halftime show isn’t the only place for unsung heroes, we launch our brand-new segment: Cheers to You, raising a glass to the everyday legends who make life better (yes, even the cart returners).00:00 Intro02:30 Bad Bunny Performing At The Super Bowl Halftime Show06:21 Do You Remember These Super Bowl Halftime Show Moments?21:05 Cheers To You!31:09 Outro and AdviceFollow Funny Business on Spotify for weekly episodes.More at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://beacons.ai/funnybusinesspod⁠⁠Note: The opinions expressed in this show are the hosts' views and not necessarily those of any business or organization. The podcast hosts are solely responsible for the content of this show.

In this episode of Funny Business, Mike recaps his wedding weekend—from ice cream scoops instead of cake to Matt’s best man speech and (accidentally?) calling guests “sons of b****es.” The guys also dive into the story of an ex-Mormon making $20K a month on OnlyFans just from voice notes, sparking ideas for their own audio side hustle. They debate the worst possible celebrity guests, defend petty “crimes” like jaywalking and rolling stops, unpack iOS 26, and ask the real question: did the rapture happen, or is it just allergy season?Follow Funny Business on Spotify for weekly episodes.More at: ⁠⁠⁠https://beacons.ai/funnybusinesspod⁠Note: The opinions expressed in this show are the hosts' views and not necessarily those of any business or organization. The podcast hosts are solely responsible for the content of this show.

A mystery wedding guest vanishes without a trace, and TikTok solves it in two hours. Plus, Matt roasts Mike into married life with a wedding poem full of tech burns, CPAP slander, and actual heart.00:00 Intro04:52 Bride confronts mystery wedding crasher — after searching nonstop for 4 years 16:06 Buy Or Sell29:57 The Roast Of Mike Before His Wedding37:37 Outro and AdviceFollow Funny Business on Spotify for weekly episodes.More at: ⁠⁠https://beacons.ai/funnybusinesspodNote: The opinions expressed in this show are the hosts' views and not necessarily those of any business or organization. The podcast hosts are solely responsible for the content of this show.

What’s the word? It’s marriage, apparently—because this episode accidentally predicted Mike’s wedding. Plus, we settle the real dishwasher debate and witness a ballpark Karen meltdown.00:00 Intro05:49 What's The Word?22:15 Person of the Week24:04 Sayyyy Whaaat?37:21 Outro and AdviceFollow Funny Business on Spotify for weekly episodes.More at: ⁠https://beacons.ai/funnybusinesspod

Get a live taste test, plus the viral coworker who whispers to her “spicy little pickle.” Add in coffee sticker shock, bad drivers, and Matt’s lawn obsession, and you’ve got another hot one.Follow Funny Business on Spotify for weekly episodes.More at: https://beacons.ai/funnybusinesspodViews expressed are those of the hosts and not of any organization. Mike & Matt are solely responsible for the content.

What would YOU do in your final 30 minutes on the Titanic? We mapped out our last half-hour aboard the world’s most famous doomed ship, and let’s just say it involves jewelry, booze, and bad decisions.Then we shift gears into Cambridge Dictionary’s wild new additions, from delulu to skibbity toilet, proving once again that the English language is completely off the rails.00:00 Intro02:55 Taylor Swift Is Engaged!07:15 Cambridge Dictionary Adds 6,000+ New Words — Including “Delulu,” “Tradwife,” and “Broligarchy”16:09 Person of the Week17:15 Take It!28:07 Outro and AdviceMERCH: https://funnybusinesspod-shop.fourthwall.com/FOLLOW USBeacons: https://beacons.ai/funnybusinesspodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/funnybusinesspodInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/funnybusinesspod/Twitter: https://twitter.com/funnybusinesspodTwitch: https://www.twitch.tv/funnybusinesspodYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwA7LU4-jps613RuewhWWDg/featuredNote: The opinions expressed in this show are the hosts' views and not necessarily those of any business or organization. The podcast hosts are solely responsible for the content of this show.FUNNY BUSINESSA podcast where Mike and Matt share internet stories or news that should be important to you. You’ll hear about strange news and personal experiences, and every once in a while, Mike will quiz Matt on some of the oddest things he can find. We’ll also dive into some of our original segments, like describing some of our strangest stories, debating if soccer is more boring than golf, and even talking about our feelings, as every man should. Funny Business is a podcast run by Mike and Matt, two friends who met at college and decided to start this project during the pandemic of 2020.

Pacifiers are back, but not for babies. Yep, TikTok has adults sucking on them for “stress relief,” and Mike & Matt have thoughts. From fake Justin Bieber sightings in Vegas to Major League Baseball expansion drama, this episode covers it all. Plus why moving sucks and why Matt refuses to care about Taylor Swift’s Easter eggs.00:00 Intro02:27 Stressed adults rely on pacifiers to soothe themselves: ‘I feel a sense of safety from childhood’09:40 Person of the Week11:38 Buy or Sell35:09 Outro and AdviceMERCH: https://funnybusinesspod-shop.fourthwall.com/FOLLOW USBeacons: https://beacons.ai/funnybusinesspodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/funnybusinesspodInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/funnybusinesspod/Twitter: https://twitter.com/funnybusinesspodTwitch: https://www.twitch.tv/funnybusinesspodYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwA7LU4-jps613RuewhWWDg/featuredNote: The opinions expressed in this show are the hosts' views and not necessarily those of any business or organization. The podcast hosts are solely responsible for the content of this show.FUNNY BUSINESSA podcast where Mike and Matt share internet stories or news that should be important to you. You’ll hear about strange news and personal experiences, and every once in a while, Mike will quiz Matt on some of the oddest things he can find. We’ll also dive into some of our original segments, like describing some of our strangest stories, debating if soccer is more boring than golf, and even talking about our feelings, as every man should. Funny Business is a podcast run by Mike and Matt, two friends who met at college and decided to start this project during the pandemic of 2020.

A new “trend” is hitting WNBA courts… and it’s not a good one. We break down the bizarre items making their way past arena security, the wild reasons why, and what the league is doing to stop it. Plus, we roast TikTok’s broken search bar, crown tournament golf as king, and discover Mike’s new way to game while getting cardio.00:00 Intro02:14 How does the WNBA deal with sex-toy throwers?14:13 Person of the Week16:45 Say What?29:05 Outro and AdviceMERCH: https://funnybusinesspod-shop.fourthwall.com/FOLLOW USBeacons: https://beacons.ai/funnybusinesspodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/funnybusinesspodInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/funnybusinesspod/Twitter: https://twitter.com/funnybusinesspodTwitch: https://www.twitch.tv/funnybusinesspodYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwA7LU4-jps613RuewhWWDg/featuredNote: The opinions expressed in this show are the hosts' views and not necessarily those of any business or organization. The podcast hosts are solely responsible for the content of this show.FUNNY BUSINESSA podcast where Mike and Matt share internet stories or news that should be important to you. You’ll hear about strange news and personal experiences, and every once in a while, Mike will quiz Matt on some of the oddest things he can find. We’ll also dive into some of our original segments, like describing some of our strangest stories, debating if soccer is more boring than golf, and even talking about our feelings, as every man should. Funny Business is a podcast run by Mike and Matt, two friends who met at college and decided to start this project during the pandemic of 2020.

We constructed an empire in ancient Egypt, convinced Leonardo da Vinci that we were gods, and inadvertently introduced a cowboy into the future. Naturally, we also engaged in debates about whether it was acceptable to sip a High Noon at work and determining which of us would emerge victorious in a UFC cage match.From espresso martini regrets to an abundance of WWE legends, this episode encompasses a diverse range of topics. Additionally, it features a significant amount of timeline tampering and a bewildered individual named Slim.We are still uncertain whether this was a podcast or a fever dream. It is likely that both possibilities exist.00:00 Intro03:43 Time Travel Adventure!17:26 Community Take It!26:05 Outro and AdviceMERCH: https://funnybusinesspod-shop.fourthwall.com/FOLLOW USBeacons: https://beacons.ai/funnybusinesspodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/funnybusinesspodInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/funnybusinesspod/Twitter: https://twitter.com/funnybusinesspodTwitch: https://www.twitch.tv/funnybusinesspodYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwA7LU4-jps613RuewhWWDg/featuredNote: The opinions expressed in this show are the hosts' views and not necessarily those of any business or organization. The podcast hosts are solely responsible for the content of this show.FUNNY BUSINESSA podcast where Mike and Matt share internet stories or news that should be important to you. You’ll hear about strange news and personal experiences, and every once in a while, Mike will quiz Matt on some of the oddest things he can find. We’ll also dive into some of our original segments, like describing some of our strangest stories, debating if soccer is more boring than golf, and even talking about our feelings, as every man should. Funny Business is a podcast run by Mike and Matt, two friends who met at college and decided to start this project during the pandemic of 2020.