Hot people get herpes. So why can a diagnosis make you feel like nobody will want you?Courtney Brame remembers worrying that his sex life was over. In this episode, he joins sex therapist Michelle Fischler to talk about what happened after his diagnosis, the support that helped him, and learning to feel desirable again.Courtney is the founder of Something Positive for Positive People, a nonprofit supporting people navigating herpes stigma and helping partners and healthcare providers talk about sex.Michelle and Courtney get into the words that add shame, including “clean” and “dirty,” and why a diagnosis can feel like a verdict on who you are. They also try a second-date role-play: how do you bring up sexual health, find out whether someone is ready to talk, and hold a boundary without apologizing for existing?They talk about what healthcare providers can say that helps, what can leave someone feeling dismissed, and why telling one person you trust can be a place to start.If you’ve wondered how to tell someone, how to respond, or whether sex and dating can still feel good after a diagnosis, this conversation is for you.Key Topics & Timestamps00:00 First symptoms00:39 Introducing Courtney Brame03:21 Life before the diagnosis06:37 Diagnosis and family support11:21 Telling the next partner12:33 Inheriting herpes stigma16:17 Challenging “my sex life is over”18:42 The body as an apartment complex22:59 Retiring stigmatizing language26:47 Feeling desirable again27:58 Second-date role-play: talking about sexual health32:25 More than your diagnosis35:09 Responding to disclosure37:15 Stigma-informed healthcare40:13 One thing to do after a diagnosis41:44 Where to find Courtney42:57 CreditsFind Courtney Brame:Instagram: @CourtneyBrameSomething Positive for Positive People PodcastResources from Courtney:Herpes Support GroupHow to DiscloseStigma-Informed Training Help bring GETSOME to more peopleI’m in the Top Host competition, and I’d love your support. You can cast one free vote for me every 24 hours. The page also offers paid votes, but I’m only asking for the free one.Vote for Michelle Explore Michelle’s book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer: comingsoonbook.ca.Has GETSOME given you something to think about? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts.
Take two sex questions and call me in the morning. If only talking to your doctor about sex felt that easy.You rehearsed the question in the waiting room. Then the doctor walked in, and you swallowed it.Maybe it was about STI testing. Pain. Pleasure. A change in your body. Something you worried would sound strange, embarrassing or too personal for a medical appointment.Dr. Sheila Wijayasinghe is an academic family physician, medical educator, Menopause Society Certified Practitioner, longtime health expert on CTV's The Social, and co-host of The Doc Talk Podcast. She and Michelle explore how shame follows us into the exam room, how a provider's tone can open or close a conversation, and why sexual healthcare should make room for pleasure, not only pain or problems.Sheila offers a place to start when the words will not come: "I'm feeling embarrassed, but I'd like to talk about this."You don't need a polished explanation. You only need an opening.Find Dr. Sheila WijayasingheInstagram: @drsheilawThe Doc Talk PodcastResources mentioned in this episodeIWHC TorontoHassle Free ClinicBay Centre for Sexual HealthBooks Sheila recommends for talking with children about consent and body autonomyAges 0–3Will Ladybug Hug? by Hilary LeungC is for Consent by Eleanor MorrisonAges 3–5Don't Hug Doug (He Doesn't Like It) by Carrie FinisonYes! No! A First Conversation About Consent by Megan Madison and Jessica RalliMy Body! What I Say Goes! by Jayneen SandersAges 5–7Consent (for Kids!) by Rachel BrianLet's Talk About Body Boundaries, Consent & Respect by Jayneen SandersMiles Is the Boss of His Body by Samantha Kurtzman-Counter and Abbie SchillerAges 7–10The Every Body Book by Rachel E. SimonSex Is a Funny Word by Cory SilverbergThe Care and Keeping of You by Valorie SchaeferAges 10–13You Know, Sex by Cory SilverbergWait, What? A Comic Book Guide to Relationships, Bodies, and Growing Up by Heather Corinna and Isabella RotmanCelebrate Your Body (and Its Changes, Too!) by Sonya Renee TaylorAges 13+S.E.X.: The All-You-Need-to-Know Sexuality Guide to Get You Through Your Teens and Twenties by Heather CorinnaConsent: The New Rules of Sex Education by Jennifer LangDoing It! Let's Talk About Sex by Hannah WittonGet in touchGot a story you want to tell on GETSOME? Email michelle@getsome.caFollow @getsome_podcast on Instagram.Produced by Katie Jensen at Vocal Fry Studios. Help bring GETSOME to more peopleI’m in the Top Host competition, and I’d love your support. You can cast one free vote for me every 24 hours. The page also offers paid votes, but I’m only asking for the free one.Vote for Michelle Explore Michelle’s book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer: comingsoonbook.ca.Has GETSOME given you something to think about? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts.
You went to the doctor. The bloodwork was fine, the scans were fine, and you were told to live with it. So you assumed the problem must be you. But what if the pain, the softer erections, the coming sooner than you want were never in your head? What if the part of your body nobody named has muscles, nerves, and actual treatment options?Dr. Susie Gronski is a pelvic health physical therapist and AASECT-certified sexuality counsellor and educator who built her practice around the gap nobody else was filling. Men have pelvic floors. Those muscles get tight, tense, and crabby, and they can be rehabbed. She also has a phrase she gives every client before they get on the table: bodies do body things.About Dr. Susie GronskiWith over a decade of expertise in men's pelvic and sexual health, Dr. Susie Gronski is a Licensed Doctor of Physical Therapy, Pelvic Health Therapist, AASECT Certified Sexuality Counselor and Educator, and founder of a multidisciplinary pelvic health clinic in Asheville, North Carolina. Through her clinic and Patreon, she helps men navigate taboo pelvic and sexual health concerns and works to make pelvic therapy more accessible.Find Dr. Susie GronskiWebsite: https://drsusieg.com/Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/drsusiegInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.susiegTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drsusiegBooksPelvic Pain: The Ultimate Cock Block, Dr. Susie Gronskihttps://drsusieg.com/pelvic-pain-book-for-menComing Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer, Michelle Fischlerhttps://getsome.ca/coming-soon-bookMentioned in this episodeManhood: The Bare Reality, Laura Dodsworthhttps://www.lauradodsworth.com/manhoodMakeLoveNotPorn, founded by Cindy Gallophttps://makelovenotporn.tvErika Lusthttps://erikalust.comFeatured ResourcesLive Demo: Male Pelvic Floor Examhttps://www.patreon.com/drsusieg/posts/live-demo-male-159871249Live Demo: Female Pelvic Floor Examhttps://www.patreon.com/drsusieg/posts/live-demo-female-148634739Get in touchGot a story you want to tell on GETSOME? Email michelle@getsome.caFollow @getsome_podcast on InstagramProduced by Katie Jensen at Vocal Fry Studios Help bring GETSOME to more peopleI’m in the Top Host competition, and I’d love your support. You can cast one free vote for me every 24 hours. The page also offers paid votes, but I’m only asking for the free one.Vote for Michelle Explore Michelle’s book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer: comingsoonbook.ca.Has GETSOME given you something to think about? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts.
You promised yourself you'd stop. You didn't. And then you took that as proof of something about you. But what if the porn and masturbation weren’t the whole story? What if they were the strategy quietly keeping something much scarier in place?A man reaching for porn instead of his partner may have found a version of sex that feels safer from shame.Lisa Etherson, UK-based psychosexual therapist and the originator of Shame Containment Theory, offers another lens: performance anxiety can involve fear of shame, and the behaviour we call “compulsive” or “addictive” can serve as a shame containment strategy.About LisaLisa Etherson is a psychosexual therapist, researcher, trainer and co-founder of The Shame Training Company.Connect with LisaTEDx talk: If you want to change your life, change your relationship with shameLinkedInProduced by Katie Jensen of Vocal Fry Studios, now in her third season with GETSOME. Help bring GETSOME to more peopleI’m in the Top Host competition, and I’d love your support. You can cast one free vote for me every 24 hours. The page also offers paid votes, but I’m only asking for the free one.Vote for Michelle Explore Michelle’s book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer: comingsoonbook.ca.Has GETSOME given you something to think about? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts.
Shame doesn’t care how much it’s ruining your sex life. It just wants an audience. But instead of hitting up the concession stand, what if you sat in the front row and got curious? You might be surprised at what you learn (and how your body responds afterwards).David Bedrick is the founder of The Unshaming Way and the author of five books. Instead of asking how to move past the shame, he asks what the shame is trying to say. Because you’re not a problem: you’re a person with a story whose symptoms carry lots of intelligence.Content note: this episode briefly mentions childhood harm and sexual trauma.Topics covered00:00 Masculinity, erections, and cultural pressure02:30 What shame is and why symptoms carry intelligence04:28 How survival and cultural messages shape identity07:58 Why fixing and technique can deepen shame10:23 Listening to what erection difficulty and softness are saying12:30 What an unshaming witness does differently16:00 Gender, sexuality, and shame carried through silence20:54 What to notice when shame appears during sex21:50 Consent, “not yet,” and believing your body23:24 Why you cannot technique your way out of shame25:01 Healing as believing your own experience26:36 David’s current trauma work, courses, and SubstackFind David BedrickWebsiteCoursesBooksSubstackProduced by Katie Jensen of Vocal Fry Studios, now in her third season with GETSOME. Help bring GETSOME to more peopleI’m in the Top Host competition, and I’d love your support. You can cast one free vote for me every 24 hours. The page also offers paid votes, but I’m only asking for the free one.Vote for Michelle Explore Michelle’s book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer: comingsoonbook.ca.Has GETSOME given you something to think about? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts.