Gathering Gold

We pick up where we left off in our last episode to discuss a few myths about relationships, unpacking commonly-held beliefs and prescriptions regarding our romantic/sexual lives, our choices about whether we want to be parents, and experiences of parenthood. By pulling apart the threads of these myths, we hope to encourage a greater sense of acceptance, compassion, and celebration of ourselves and other people, and the many ways we can lead healthy, fulfilling lives full of love and purpose. Don't forget to check out Sheryl's 9-Month Course: Break Free from Anxiety, which explores these myths and many other messages, stories, cognitions, and experiences that create and inflame anxiety.  References: Sheryl's 9 Month Course: Break Free from Anxiety It's a Wonderful Life: Mary the Old Maid clip  Book Lovers, by Emily Henry Mothers and Other Fictional Characters: A Memoir in Essays, by Nicole Graev Lipson Sheryl's appearance on the Oprah Winfrey Show

Have you ever felt like you should be able to figure out and answer all of life's questions--immediately? That if you could just find the one right lifestyle and location for you, your life would be all shimmer and shine? That you should just find life and adulthood easier? That everyone else finds it easier? These are myths about life that have their fingerprints all over our psyches. They weigh on us and dredge up feelings of not-enoughness, pulling us away from the present moment and into traps of comparison and wishful thinking. These are the myths that we are unpacking and dispelling in today's episode, inspired by Sheryl's upcoming course: Break Free from Anxiety: A 9-Month Course on the Art of Living (which begins September 20, 2025).  Stay tuned for Part 2, a discussion of three more myths! References: Gathering Gold episodes about Escape Hatch Fantasies, Dropping into Your Body, and The Goodness of Ordinary Life Mothers and Other Fictional Characters: A Memoir in Essays, by Nicole Graev Lipson

We used to try to keep up with the Joneses--the family behind the picket fence on that beautiful street the next town over. Now it's not just the local Joneses that we're trying to measure up to, but the influencers on Instagram, high school acquaintances that we still follow on Facebook, our past selves and our future potential.  Comparison has always been the thief of joy, but in the digital media landscape, its storm cloud looms larger and darker than ever. How can we turn down the volume on this constant humming force? How can we soften in the places we feel aren't measuring up?  How can we turn our yardstick into a compass pointing us to our own sense of peace? These are the questions we're dancing with in today's episode.

There are many types of friendships, and they're all necessary. We need friends to chat with at work, neighbors to share metaphorical cups of sugar with. But we also need deep friendships built on a bedrock of safety--and those can be harder to come by. In today's episode, we are unpacking what it means to feel truly safe in a friendship. What qualities do we look for and offer to our friends in order to create a container of deep love and security? What are the values that we orient towards when we find a kindred spirit and realize we simply love them because we love them? And, perhaps most importantly, how do we repair when something shakes the foundation we have worked so hard to build?

We all want to experience joy, but sometimes it can feel out of reach. Sometimes, the more we chase joy, the faster it slips beyond our reach. And yet, as Sheryl so often teaches, what we water will grow. We can create conditions favorable to joy. In today's episode, we discuss joy as not a luxury but a necessity; joy as an act of resistance and a fraternal twin to grief; how joy lies hidden just beneath the surface of ordinary, everyday magic; and how we can tap into that magic with subtle shifts in our choices and perspective.  References: Sheryl’s new course: Reclaiming Joy  Why It’s Hard to Receive Good Things Adding Good Things The Healing Anxiety Workbook Join us on Patreon for bonus content and virtual gatherings: patreon.com/gatheringgold

Today's very special guest, Michael Alcée, is author of the book The Upside of OCD: Flight the Script to Reclaim Your Life. In our conversation, Michael explains what he means and does not mean when he talks about the "upside" of OCD; why Michael thinks all people with OCD start out as mini-existentialists and poets; and the key missing ingredient in many of our contemporary treatments for OCD. How can OCD be both meaningless and meaningful at the same time? What messages might OCD be trying to deliver to us, if we only know how to listen? All of this and more in today's episode.

It is a common refrain these days: we live in a culture of scarcity mindset. We are bombarded with messages of never enough, implicitly and explicitly warned that there is not enough money, time, attention, or even love for all of us. These messages shift us into fearful perspectives, limiting our ability to see and receive all the goodness around us. In a world where so many people are lacking basic survival needs and systems of care, we wrestle with dueling feelings of fear and guilt, aware that "it could be worse," and yet, struggling to feel into the fullness that we sense is right here, if only we could reach out and touch it. So, what is true abundance? And how do we contact it? That's what we're exploring in today's episode. References: The Book of Joy by the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu Gathering Gold Bonus Episode: "What’s for Dinner?" Documentary Happy (2012) The Soul of Money by Lynn Twist Gathering Gold episode "The Goodness of Ordinary Life"  

We're sharing a Patreon exclusive to our Gathering Gold feed today! In this episode, we're responding to our patron Jenny's question about how to deal with the discomfort and fear that comes along with stretching our comfort zones. We talk about values-based actions, purpose and meaning, our individual window of tolerance, and the importance of self-compassion. Visit patreon.com/gatheringgold to gain access to 30+ bonus episodes, with new ones coming out each month! 

Welcome to the 100th episode of Gathering Gold! Today, we take a moment to pause and reflect on what it has meant to commit to this podcast for four years and regularly make trips together to fill up from a well of nourishing waters--waters of deep listening, conversation, reflection, and compassion. We talk about how and why we have tried to make this podcast a refuge, how it has impacted our relationship as family/friends/collaborators, and in what ways it has changed our own behavior and ways of thinking. We hope this episode inspires you to take a moment to pause, appreciate, and reflect on one of your own commitments in life, how it has changed you, and what gold you gather from showing up again and again! 

In contemporary society, we face more choices--and more decisions--than ever before. This can sometimes feel like a curse as much as it is also a blessing, especially for those of us struggle with indecisiveness.  In today's episode, we discuss mindsets around decision-making that can help us find more ease around the little decisions ("What should I order from the menu?") and the big decisions ("Should I quit my job?").  References: Dr. Russ Harris article about hard decisions Sheryl's next round of her course, "Trust Yourself," starting on May 17th The Healing Anxiety Workbook April’s Gathering Gold bonus episode for the Patreon: Emotional Support for Spring Cleaning Marie Kondo Happenstance Theory of career development Past Lives (2023) The Serenity Prayer Join our Patreon community: https://www.patreon.com/gatheringgold

In today's follow-up to the Escape Hatch Fantasies episode, Sheryl and Victoria discuss the double-edged allure of ruminating on what could be? and what could have been?  They discuss the difference between a fantasy and a dream for the future, how to work with the energy of regret, and what we can learn from the film Past Lives (2023) about making space for longing, mystery, and acceptance in the face of our many life choices and experiences.

In preparation for our next episode, we bring to you one of our most popular episodes to date: Escape Hatch Fantasies. Members of our Patreon can submit questions and reflections for our follow-up conversation about escape hatch fantasies at patreon.com/gatheringgold  * * * We all indulge in fantasizing from time to time. Maybe you find yourself scrolling through Zillow looking at houses for sale, even though most of the time you love where you live. Perhaps you have romantic dreams about your ex and wake wondering if it means you should run off into the sunset with them—even though you know you don't really want that in reality. Our imaginations and dreams are beautiful things, and yet sometimes, we find ourselves fixating on a certain escape hatch that we wish could magically deliver us to a version of life without pain, boredom, or anxiety. Certain fantasies might get sticky, causing us distress or interfering with our real lives. So what do we do with persistent escape hatch fantasies that we can’t or don’t really want to act out?  That’s the topic of today’s episode. We’ll be unpacking two fantasies in particular (living alone in the woods and moving to a faraway city) to ask what longings might lie underneath them, and how we can attend to those longings while respecting our values and choices we’ve made for our lives.  References: Devotion, Patti Smith Carl Jung The Power of Ritual, Casper ter Kuile Ecstasy, Robert Johnson Inner Work, Robert Johnson Richard Rohr Unspoken podcast interview

"You can read and listen and learn for years, but unless you take actions that create more well-being, you will remain stuck. While accurate information is important and often transformative, it's the compassionate actions we take on our own behalf that create long-lasting, deep-rooted, sustainable change." In today's episode, we introduce a new tool for healing anxiety at the root: Sheryl's forthcoming publication, The Healing Anxiety Workbook.  Over decades of working with individuals struggling with anxiety, Sheryl has identified the pain points that most call out for our attention through the voice of anxiety: disconnection from self, from others, and from the unseen world. In today's episode, we discuss how the inception of this book reflects the very mindsets that ease anxiety; how to deal with perfectionism and anxiety about engaging with a workbook in the first place; and the most important, foundational exercise in this work/play book that Sheryl believes is the key to creating lasting change. Listen through the very end of the episode to learn how you can attend a very special event if you pre-order the book! You can also visit our Patreon to learn about joining us for a Spring Equinox virtual gathering on March 23rd and unlock 30+ bonus episodes! 

Some children and adolescents bound toward the future, excitedly proclaiming, "I can't wait to grow up!"  Others are a bit more unsure--some of us may resist growing up well into our 20s and beyond. Acts of resistance against adulthood can be big or small, noticeable or subtle. Even those who were excited to grow up in childhood may find that fears begin to dampen their enthusiasm as the reality of adult life sinks in. Where do these fears come from? What are some of the core beliefs and emotional experiences that can either hamper or promote our growth and development towards healthy adulthood? All of this in today's episode. References: Gathering Gold: The Father Wound episode with Daev Finn Author Stephen King Carol Dweck and Growth Mindsets

What does it mean to grow up? Is it about arriving at a destination at a specific time, after following the linear formula of job, marriage, house, baby? Or is it an ongoing process of development that happens both internally and externally, rippling through our inner world and shining forth in how we engage with the world? What does it mean to grow up on an emotional level? In this episode, we explore two internal pillars of adulthood that create a foundation for healthy development across the lifespan, and reflect on how building these pillars, brick by brick, can help us to live with more honesty, connection, and peace. References: Erik Erikson's stages of psychosocial development The Healing Connection: How Women Form Relationships in Therapy and in Life, by Jean Baker Miller and Irene Pierce Stiver    

“Energy moves in waves. Waves move in patterns. Patterns move in rhythms. A human being is just that, energy, waves, patterns, rhythms. Nothing more. Nothing less. A dance.” --Gabrielle. Roth Our heartbeat. Our breath. Our steps along the sidewalk. Our life happens in rhythms--breath by breath, heartbeat by heartbeat, step by step. We move in and out of seasons, feel a shift in tempo as our energy levels ebb and flow, fall into connection and disconnection with those around us.  In today's episode, we are exploring what it means to "live in the rhythm" of life, why it can be so hard in our contemporary culture, and how turning towards the natural world can invite us back into a dance that is humane and enlivening.  References: Wise Child, by Monica Furlong Gabrille Roth's 5Rhythms Mark Nepo Kelsy Leonard, "Why lakes and rivers should have the same rights as humans" The Nature of Reading Bookshop Carl Jung’s theory of the collective unconscious 

Sometimes, the month of January can start to feel like one long dark night.  Many of us step off the carousel of the holiday season feeling a little dizzy and off-kilter. Some of us might even feel a sense of darkness or despair as we thud back into harsh reality (and, in certain parts of the world, deep winter). We may be teetering between hope and despair; grief and gratitude; anger and acceptance. We may feel faith slipping between our fingers; we may find ourselves craving a good, long sleep. Maybe we’re in a dark night of the soul. And in today’s episode, we’ll unpack why maybe that’s okay. References: Elf (2003) St. John of the Cross American Humanist Association Vanessa Zoltan’s podcasts: Harry Potter and the Sacred Text, Hot and Bothered, The Real Question, Let’s Ask Taylor Swift

In the spirit of the season, we bring to you one of our most popular episodes to date: last year's episode about the Winter Solstice. We are also offering a special 15% off discount for any new Patreon sign-ups with code GOLD24 and are hosting a Winter Solstice gathering for the Meet-Up Members on Sunday, December 22, at 3 pm EST. Visit patreon.com/gatheringgold to learn more.  * * * We are approaching the shortest day and longest night of the year in the Northern hemisphere. In preparation for the winter solstice, Sheryl invites us to anchor ourselves in time and find communion with the luminous dark. How might we celebrate the triumph of light, the gift of the sun, while also welcoming the wisdom of darkness? How might we balance the need to rest and turn inward with the need to brave the cold, to go out into the world? How can we cultivate peace within ourselves in the face of all that is treacherous in this world—including the double-edged winter months, with their shimmer and ice, their harshness and beauty? This is what we invite you to explore with us in today’s episode, and at our upcoming Patreon Meet-Up on December 21st.  References: Gathering Gold Patreon (sign up for the Meet-Up Member tier to join our virtual meet-ups) "Darkness and Light" episode "Winter’s Paradox" episode  Francis Weller "Effort and Ease" episode

We all know that practicing gratitude is good for us: we've read news articles about groundbreaking research on the benefits of gratitude, purchased gratitude journals, maybe started incorporating gratitude practices into family dinners or even work meetings. So why is it still sometimes so hard to really feel and and experience gratitude in an authentic and enriching way? And what are some pathways to an open heart when our gratitude "motor" is cold? That's what we're unpacking in today's episode. ...And P.S.: We are so grateful for all of you, dear listeners! References: The Serviceberry: Abundance and Reciprocity in the Natural World, by Robin Wall Kimmerer “Those Winter Sundays” by Robert Hayden  Brother David Steindl Rast A Man on the Inside TV show The Good Place TV show “Gratitude,” by Mary Oliver Meister Eckhart

Leaves are falling from the trees. The world is shifting into hues of gray and brown, into sparseness and clarity. Meanwhile, we are entering into the holiday season. Amidst it all--the darkness and the light, the fatigue and the excitement--how can we stay present for the gifts all around us? Not the gifts wrapped in paper and bows, but the little, everyday miracles: the maple tree still wrapped in orange and golden leaves; the comfort and safety of a heated home; the magic of sharing a meal with good friends.  In today's episode, Victoria shares reflections on receiving and honoring the gift of presence.  References: "The Power of the Pause" Gathering Gold episode Brother David Steindl-Rast Sheryl's blog post, “Holiday Pain and Gratitude”