Gay Therapy LA with Ken Howard, LCSW, CST

Gay Therapy LA with Ken Howard, LCSW, CST A gay men's mental health, sex, and relationships podcast If you've ever wished there were a therapy-informed podcast just for gay men, you're in the right place. I'm Ken Howard, LCSW, CST – a gay men's specialist psychotherapist, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, Certified Psychiatric Social Worker, longtime LGBTQ+ advocate, and gay men's life/career/relationship coach with over 32 years' experience working almost exclusively with gay male individuals, couples, and polycules. On Gay Therapy LA, you'll get more than clichés or recycled pop psychology. This is a deep-dive podcast for gay men's mental health, sex, and relationships—rooted in real clinical experience with thousands of clients over three decades. We talk about what actually shows up in gay men's lives: Mental health for gay men: anxiety, depression, trauma, shame, internalized homophobia Gay men's relationships: monogamy, open relationships, consensual non-monogamy, polycules, jealousy, trust, communication Sex therapy for gay men: desire, performance, erections, ejaculation, kink, porn, HIV, PrEP, sexual confidence Gay men and aging: body image, muscles, appearance pressure, midlife, older gay men, long-term HIV survivorship Dating and intimacy: hookup culture, apps, ghosting, rejection, attachment, finding and keeping a partner Gay men and success: career transitions, burnout, money, retirement, purpose, and building a life that actually feels good Episodes are mostly just me—so you get unfiltered, no-nonsense, therapist-level insight without fluff, plus occasional guests whose expertise or lived experience can help you grow. Every episode is designed to give you practical tools, perspectives, and strategies you can use immediately in your life, not just "interesting conversations." If you're a gay man who wants better mental health, stronger relationships, more satisfying sex, and a more successful, meaningful life, this podcast is for you—whether you're in your 20s, 40s, 60s, or beyond. About the practice behind the podcast Gay Therapy LA with Ken Howard, LCSW, CST is the podcast of my private practice: Psychotherapy for gay men in California (online) Coaching for gay men worldwide (online) I'm the founder of GayTherapyLA.com and GayCoachingLA.com, based in West Hollywood, California, serving gay men all over the world via webcam and phone. My credentials include: California Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) Certified Psychiatric Social Worker AASECT Certified Sex Therapist Certified in Consensual Non-Monogamy and Polyamorous Families Retired Adjunct Associate Professor in Social Work (USC) Through both psychotherapy (California) and coaching (worldwide), I help gay men improve their mental health, strengthen their relationships, upgrade their sex lives, and maximize their quality of life and career, leveraging their past to enhance their future. While this podcast cannot substitute for personal therapy and is provided for educational purposes only, the episodes reflect the kinds of themes and strategies I work on with clients every day. Your questions, comments, ratings, and reviews are very welcome, as are suggestions for future episodes. © 2025 Ken Howard, LCSW, CST. All rights reserved.

It's OK to Hate the Holidays: Coping Skills for Gay Men

Holidays can intensify loneliness, family tension, and emotional stress for many gay men. Therapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explains why it's OK to hate the holidays and shares practical coping strategies—plus how the new year can become a turning point instead of a repeat.

12-19
20:22

Gay Men and Non-Monetary Wealth: Redefining What It Means to Feel Rich

What if real wealth isn't about money? In this episode, I explore the non-monetary wealth many gay men build over a lifetime—relationships, culture, wisdom, sexuality, and self-acceptance—and why it matters more than we think.

12-18
29:14

Why Gay Men Can't Stop Scrolling: The Real Reasons Behind Compulsive Phone Use

Why gay men struggle with compulsive phone use -- and how anxiety, comparison, and validation loops fuel it. Learn tools to heal and reconnect with real life.  

12-09
36:00

Gay Men and Wicked: For Good

Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, gay men's specialist therapist, discusses the new movie, "Wicked: For Good" and its implications for gay men, in themes about silencing political voices, seeing things for what they are, and how to stay resilient during Trump 2.0 America.  

11-19
28:24

Gay Men and Psychiatric Medications: Functions, Fears, and Facts

Many gay men fear psychiatric meds. Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explains how the right medication can restore—not change—who you are, separating facts from stigma and myths about treatment and mental health.

11-08
23:24

Why Mid-Life Gay Men Still Use Hookup Apps — and What That Really Means

Mid-life gay men still use apps like Grindr or Scruff; not just for sex, but for social connection, validation, and visibility.  Gay therapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explores desire, aging, open relationships, and how to use apps with intention instead of compulsion.

11-02
18:54

Are All Marines Gay Bottoms? Military Myths in Gay Culture

Why do gay men joke that "the Navy's the gayest branch" or "all Marines are bottoms"? In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores how these myths reflect cultural anxieties about masculinity, sexuality, and belonging. Through the Six Principles of Sexual Health and 30+ years of clinical experience, Ken examines how humor, fantasy, and identity intersect—and how gay men can move from stereotype to sexual self-empowerment.

10-13
11:09

Gay Men and Post-Nut Clarity: What It Really Means

"Post-nut clarity" isn't just a meme — it reflects real neurobiological and psychological shifts that affect how gay men experience sex, emotion, and judgment. Gay men's specialist psychotherapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explores this normal post-orgasmic process through the lens of CBT, psychodynamic theory, and the Six Principles of Sexual Health, showing how self-awareness can turn confusion or shame into sexual self-empowerment and integrity.

10-13
16:47

Yom Kippur and Gay Men: Finding Meaning in Reflection, Atonement, and Renewal

Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores how Yom Kippur's themes of reflection, apology, forgiveness, and renewal resonate for gay men. A secular take on the Jewish Day of Atonement, this episode invites you to let go of shame, repair relationships, and embrace bold renewal.

09-28
11:35

Toxic Gay Currencies: How to Avoid the Attention, Sex, and Status Traps

Too often, gay men trade in "toxic currencies" like attention, sex, money, status, drama, and jealousy. They feel powerful in the moment but drain us over time. In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, shares what healthier currencies look like — and how to build a richer, more grounded life.

09-17
39:56

From Obama to Trump: Understanding the Whiplash in American Politics Through the Lens of Minority Stress and Gay Men's Mental Health

Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, unpacks the political whiplash from Obama to Trump and its impact on gay men's mental health—exploring minority stress, cultural backlash, and strategies for resilience in a divided America.

09-04
24:24

Gay Men Healing from Trauma: Why Substance Matters More Than Hype

Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explains why lasting trauma recovery for gay men comes from evidence-based approaches like CBT and Narrative Therapy—not trendy quick fixes. Learn how to move beyond shame, grief, and rejection toward resilience and authentic connection.

08-26
23:40

When "Non-Affirming" Therapists Keep LGBTQ+ Clients for the Money: An Ethical Failure with Real Consequences

Some therapists claim to be "welcoming to all" while secretly holding non-affirming values about LGBTQ+ identity and gay men's issues such as sexuality. In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, exposes the harm, ethical breaches, and red flags of non-affirming therapy — and shows clients and parents how to spot it before it causes damage.

08-18
23:35

Gay Men and The Cinderella Syndrome: From Outcast to Adonis

Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores "The Cinderella Syndrome" in gay men—the rise from rejection to confidence, and what happens when the glow-up fades. From body image to aging, learn how to build lasting self-worth, stay empowered, and thrive beyond appearances. Real talk, real tools, real growth.

07-25
22:18

Gay Men as Adult Children of Alcoholics - How the Past Talks in the Present

Do you struggle with control, fear of abandonment, or always expect the worst? You might be a gay Adult Child of an Alcoholic (ACA). In this episode, Ken explores how unresolved childhood chaos shapes adult gay life—and how healing is possible

07-21
14:46

Gay Widowers: Navigating Loss, Identity, and Rebirth

Losing a partner is devastating—especially for gay men, whose grief is often marginalized. In this episode, gay men's specialist psychotherapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores the emotional journey of gay widowers, including AIDS-era losses, the five stages of grief, coping strategies, and how therapy or coaching can help. Whether you're grieving or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers healing and hope.

07-19
23:36

Radical Erotic Aging: Gay Men, Desire, and the Audacity to Stay Sexy

Aging as a gay man can feel like becoming invisible—but it doesn't have to. In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, shares insights from 30+ years of helping gay men reclaim sexual confidence, confront ageism, and embrace desire at any age. It's time to get real about erotic aging—and radically refuse to disappear.

07-08
14:45

Gilligan's Island & The Seven Deadly Sins: What a 60s Sitcom Can Teach Gay Men

What if Gilligan's Island was more than a goofy sitcom? What if it was a mirror for gay men's internal struggles with shame, identity, and survival? This episode explores how each castaway reflects one of the Seven Deadly Sins—and how these moral archetypes echo the messages many gay men internalize. Through humor, camp, and therapeutic insight, this episode reclaims "sin" as a source of healing, not harm.

06-24
15:26

Gay Men Overcoming Unconscious Barriers to Success

What holds us back from achieving our full potential? In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explores the unconscious barriers many gay men face—like self-doubt, fear of success, cultural pressure to stay small, and toxic professional competition. With insights from 30+ years of clinical practice, he shares empowering strategies from cognitive and positive psychology to help move past internalized limitations and build a life aligned with your true goals.

06-19
35:41

Gay Men and Understanding Personality Traits: The OCEAN Model

Discover how the Big Five OCEAN personality traits—Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism—can help gay men improve relationships, communication, and self-understanding, with insights from therapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST.  

06-11
38:06

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