Gay Therapy LA with Ken Howard, LCSW, CST

Gay Therapy LA with Ken Howard, LCSW, CST Where expertise meets real talk for gay men who want more out of life, love, and themselves. I'm Ken Howard, LCSW, CST -- an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist; gay men's specialist psychotherapist with over 32 years experience working with gay male individuals, couples, and polycules; life/career/relationship coach; and advocate for gay men thriving on their own terms. Here, you'll get more than clichés or recycled pop psychology. These are deep dives into the real mental health, relationship, sex, career, and personal growth challenges gay men face—told through the lens of 30+ years' experience working exclusively with our community. We explore it all: navigating the dating scene and long-term relationships (monogamous or open), building self-worth in an appearance-driven culture, aging with confidence, overcoming trauma and shame, sorting out real help versus hype, mastering career transitions, building long-term financial security, and finding fulfillment beyond the stereotypes. Episodes are mostly just me—so you get unfiltered, professional insight without the fluff—plus occasional guests whose expertise or lived experience can help you grow. Whether you're here for solid therapy-based strategies, sex-positive conversations, or no-nonsense truth about what actually works in gay men's lives, you'll leave every episode with something you can use right now. If you want to be inspired, challenged, and equipped—not just entertained—this is your podcast. ***** GayTherapyLA with Ken Howard, LCSW, CST is the podcast show related to Ken's private practice for psychotherapy (California) and coaching services (worldwide). Ken is the founder of GayTherapyLA.com and GayCoachingLA.com, and has over 32 years experience providing services for gay men, as individuals, couples, and polycules, from his office in West Hollywood, California, serving gay men all over the world via webcam or phone sessions. Ken is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in California, Certified Psychiatric Social Worker, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, Certified in Consensual Non-Monogamy and Polyamorous Families, and a retired Adjunct Associate Professor in Social Work. Through both psychotherapy and coaching services, Ken provides help for gay men to maximize their quality of life in both their personal lives and careers, leveraging their past to enhance their future. (While a podcast cannot substitute for therapy and is provided here as educational information only, these episodes reflect the work Ken does with clients, daily.) Your questions, comments, ratings, and reviews are welcome, as well as suggestions for future episodes. (copyright 2025 by Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, all rights reserved)

Why Mid-Life Gay Men Still Use Hookup Apps — and What That Really Means

Mid-life gay men still use apps like Grindr or Scruff; not just for sex, but for social connection, validation, and visibility.  Gay therapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explores desire, aging, open relationships, and how to use apps with intention instead of compulsion.

11-02
18:24

Are All Marines Gay Bottoms? Military Myths in Gay Culture

Why do gay men joke that "the Navy's the gayest branch" or "all Marines are bottoms"? In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores how these myths reflect cultural anxieties about masculinity, sexuality, and belonging. Through the Six Principles of Sexual Health and 30+ years of clinical experience, Ken examines how humor, fantasy, and identity intersect—and how gay men can move from stereotype to sexual self-empowerment.

10-13
11:09

Gay Men and Post-Nut Clarity: What It Really Means

"Post-nut clarity" isn't just a meme — it reflects real neurobiological and psychological shifts that affect how gay men experience sex, emotion, and judgment. Gay men's specialist psychotherapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explores this normal post-orgasmic process through the lens of CBT, psychodynamic theory, and the Six Principles of Sexual Health, showing how self-awareness can turn confusion or shame into sexual self-empowerment and integrity.

10-13
16:47

Yom Kippur and Gay Men: Finding Meaning in Reflection, Atonement, and Renewal

Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores how Yom Kippur's themes of reflection, apology, forgiveness, and renewal resonate for gay men. A secular take on the Jewish Day of Atonement, this episode invites you to let go of shame, repair relationships, and embrace bold renewal.

09-28
11:35

Toxic Gay Currencies: How to Avoid the Attention, Sex, and Status Traps

Too often, gay men trade in "toxic currencies" like attention, sex, money, status, drama, and jealousy. They feel powerful in the moment but drain us over time. In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, shares what healthier currencies look like — and how to build a richer, more grounded life.

09-17
39:56

From Obama to Trump: Understanding the Whiplash in American Politics Through the Lens of Minority Stress and Gay Men's Mental Health

Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, unpacks the political whiplash from Obama to Trump and its impact on gay men's mental health—exploring minority stress, cultural backlash, and strategies for resilience in a divided America.

09-04
24:24

Gay Men Healing from Trauma: Why Substance Matters More Than Hype

Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explains why lasting trauma recovery for gay men comes from evidence-based approaches like CBT and Narrative Therapy—not trendy quick fixes. Learn how to move beyond shame, grief, and rejection toward resilience and authentic connection.

08-26
23:40

When "Non-Affirming" Therapists Keep LGBTQ+ Clients for the Money: An Ethical Failure with Real Consequences

Some therapists claim to be "welcoming to all" while secretly holding non-affirming values about LGBTQ+ identity and gay men's issues such as sexuality. In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, exposes the harm, ethical breaches, and red flags of non-affirming therapy — and shows clients and parents how to spot it before it causes damage.

08-18
23:35

Gay Men and The Cinderella Syndrome: From Outcast to Adonis

Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores "The Cinderella Syndrome" in gay men—the rise from rejection to confidence, and what happens when the glow-up fades. From body image to aging, learn how to build lasting self-worth, stay empowered, and thrive beyond appearances. Real talk, real tools, real growth.

07-25
22:18

Gay Men as Adult Children of Alcoholics - How the Past Talks in the Present

Do you struggle with control, fear of abandonment, or always expect the worst? You might be a gay Adult Child of an Alcoholic (ACA). In this episode, Ken explores how unresolved childhood chaos shapes adult gay life—and how healing is possible

07-21
14:46

Gay Widowers: Navigating Loss, Identity, and Rebirth

Losing a partner is devastating—especially for gay men, whose grief is often marginalized. In this episode, gay men's specialist psychotherapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores the emotional journey of gay widowers, including AIDS-era losses, the five stages of grief, coping strategies, and how therapy or coaching can help. Whether you're grieving or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers healing and hope.

07-19
23:36

Radical Erotic Aging: Gay Men, Desire, and the Audacity to Stay Sexy

Aging as a gay man can feel like becoming invisible—but it doesn't have to. In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, shares insights from 30+ years of helping gay men reclaim sexual confidence, confront ageism, and embrace desire at any age. It's time to get real about erotic aging—and radically refuse to disappear.

07-08
14:45

Gilligan's Island & The Seven Deadly Sins: What a 60s Sitcom Can Teach Gay Men

What if Gilligan's Island was more than a goofy sitcom? What if it was a mirror for gay men's internal struggles with shame, identity, and survival? This episode explores how each castaway reflects one of the Seven Deadly Sins—and how these moral archetypes echo the messages many gay men internalize. Through humor, camp, and therapeutic insight, this episode reclaims "sin" as a source of healing, not harm.

06-24
15:26

Gay Men Overcoming Unconscious Barriers to Success

What holds us back from achieving our full potential? In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explores the unconscious barriers many gay men face—like self-doubt, fear of success, cultural pressure to stay small, and toxic professional competition. With insights from 30+ years of clinical practice, he shares empowering strategies from cognitive and positive psychology to help move past internalized limitations and build a life aligned with your true goals.

06-19
35:41

Gay Men and Understanding Personality Traits: The OCEAN Model

Discover how the Big Five OCEAN personality traits—Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism—can help gay men improve relationships, communication, and self-understanding, with insights from therapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST.  

06-11
38:06

Flash vs. Substance: Pop Psychology Gurus vs. Real Clinicians

Tired of flashy social media gurus? In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, breaks down the difference between pop psych soundbites and real therapy that heals—especially for gay men seeking depth, substance, and actual growth.

05-24
24:22

Gay Men and Coping with the Forms of Betrayal

In this episode, I explore the many ways gay men experience betrayal—in relationships, friendships, family, and professional life—and how we can heal from these wounds with clarity and strength. If betrayal has touched your life, listen in and consider therapy or coaching with me to reclaim your peace of mind and restore trust in yourself and others.

05-19
34:02

Positive Masculinity for Gay Men in a Changing World

In this episode, Ken explores how gay men can reclaim positive masculinity—balancing strength, emotional intelligence, and authenticity amid today's political and cultural battles. Learn how evolving healthy masculinity empowers gay men personally, professionally, and within our larger society.

04-28
25:24

The Success Principles for Gay Men: What We Can Learn from Jack Canfield

Gay men's specialist psychotherapist and coach Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, breaks down Jack Canfield's The Success Principles through a queer lens, showing how its life-changing tools can help gay men overcome internalized shame, build self-worth, and boldly pursue their goals.  Ken shares practical, affirming insights inspired by Canfield's book to help you design the life you truly want.

04-17
30:30

White Lotus and Gay Men's Fantasies - The Teasing Taboo of Pop Culture

Therapist Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores The White Lotus Season 3's buzzed-about gay incest story line, why taboo fantasies intrigue gay men, and how pop culture stirs both desire and discomfort. A candid look at erotic imagination, psychological nuance, and separating fantasy from reality.

03-31
14:59

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