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Shades of Strong | Shifting the Strong Black Woman Narrative
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Shades of Strong | Shifting the Strong Black Woman Narrative

Author: Shirley Hubbard - Strong Black Woman Advocate

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Shades of Strong Podcast, formerly known as Get Naked LIVE, is not your regular shmegular podcast. We exist to engage in meaningful dialogue about ALL THE THINGS that shape, make and often break the STRONG BLACK WOMAN. We are committed to showing the Strong Black Woman how to honor her full range of emotions, including vulnerability, while exercising self-care, and not being afraid to get the support she needs when she needs it.
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... ♪♪ all the time they want to take your place ♪♪  We've seen a lot of the crab in the bucket mentality among African American females, and I'm not saying it doesn't exist in other communities -- I know it does, but like with all things that negatively impact us, the spotlight is often directed towards us more than others. Take for instance Nicki Minaj and Cardi B – I'm sure there are tons of other female singers and rappers that have beef with each other, but who's names constantly show up in the headlines?  Nicki and Cardi, right? But even with black females being under constant ridicule for tearing each other down, I'm actually noticing that A LOT of us are recognizing that we're stronger together, so we're forging solid friendships and clinging to the sisterhood both on and offline. Black women are coming together to lift each other up and cheer each other own.  We're tired of the whole super woman -- S on your chest mentality -- we're tired of being alone, hiding, living in shame and feeling disconnected. We ARE actually craving more meaningful connections with each other and I LOVE IT! But, here's the deal......if you don't surround yourself with the RIGHT people, you'll find yourself on the other side of sisterhood -- the side where betrayal, cattiness, competition, threats and gossip wreak havoc on your life.    That's when sisterhood becomes toxic! ヅ And... That's the sisterhood I'm not here for!  So, the question at hand is... WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN THE SISTERHOOD BECOMES TOXIC? How do you recover from it.  OR  Better yet, how do you keep it from happening? Tune in to this episode and get an earful as Natty and I talk about our personal experiences with betrayal and cattiness within friendships and on offer a few suggestions so that you don't find yourself in that same place. When you’ve soaked up all of the goodness that is this episode, hop on over to  Shades of Strong and leave us a voice message telling us what you thought about it.ORHead on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation.  If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps! SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HEREfor a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
I am not my hair!!  That's the tune Lynette Bradshaw is singing as she holds on tight to her emotional freedom while sharing her story of how losing her hair sent her into hiding and how it took her embracing her vulnerabilities and facing her fears head on to move out of that space into a space of freedom and wholeness. Lynette shares how she always had problems with her hair not growing, not being healthy, bald spots on the sides of my head and being bullied for it. In 2014 she lost all her hair and her heard herself  scream as if someone had died.I looked in the mirror and saw the ugly little girl I was. I saw the ugly teenager the bullies talked about and teased daily. I had to ask God to show me how to love the woman I was then, but I realized I didn't love the woman with hair.But Lynette didn't let the loss keep her stuck in bondage.  She took the necessary steps to set herself free by getting to the root cause of what robbed her of her emotional freedom.   In her search for emotional freedom, she landed on the "steps" of her parent's front porch where she felt like  they didn't want her, didn't need her, didn't love her which lead to years of depression.  Lynette details how her emotional freedom was destroyed by being called"a bald headed heifer" by her mom.  But she also details how she stared her "BULLY" (aka her fear) in the face and took back her emotional freedom. If you're struggling with finding your own emotional freedom because of things in the past, pain that as inflicted upon or because you've experienced some kind of loss, this episode will take you on a journey of healing, wholeness and freedom.  So, tune in now so you can get the healing you need and deserve. LYNETTE CAN BE FOUND IN THE FOLLOWING ONLINE SPACES:Facebook Business Page: Lynette M BradshawTwitter: Lynette M BradshawYouTube: http://bit.ly/LynetteMBradshawLive When you’ve soaked up all of the goodness that is this episode, hop on over to  Shades of Strong and leave us a voice message telling us what you thought about it.ORHead on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation.  If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps! SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HEREfor a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
The art of being a parent is to guide your children through life and to look out for their best interest; but contrary to what most believe, there is no parent-child relationship without some level of friendship.With that said, you MUST be your child's friend in order for your relationship with them to work. However, in the African American culture, the overall consensus is that the parent should absolutely NOT be her child's friend.The assumption is that we are stricter and less tolerant when it comes to how we raise our children and that is undoubtedly contributed to the fact the a vast majority of black children are raised in single parent homes and the mother is the primary parent – so we’re often have tough rules in place to “save” them from the world.When Natty and I were growing up our parent's didn't really believe in being “friends”.Children had their place and it was certainly not to befriend a parent.We raised our children a little different, but we still have healthy boundaries.In this episode we talk about some of those boundaries and how we've fostered a healthy friendship with our children while still maintaining respect and authority in the relationship.We both agree that being your child's friend is an essential and necessary part of preparing them to function in a society that can often be cruel and unfair. We provide some clarification on how being your child's friend does not take away from your ability to effectively parent or discipline and how fear based parent does not benefit you or your child.Tune in now to find out how you can be your child's friend and still maintain your parenting integrity. And when you’ve soaked up all of this goodness, hop on over to  Shades of Strong and leave us a voice message telling us what you thought about the episode.ORHead on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation.  If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps! SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HEREfor a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
Rob brought the MEAT to the cookout in this episode. I'm telling you, he gets ALL THE WAY NAKED about strong black women and the black men who love them. He delves deep into why there’s such a huge disconnect in male and female relationships and how we can remedy that by mastering the art of communication. Baabbyy!!!! He is serving up all kinds of goodness -- ribs, chicken, hamburgers, hot dogs..ERRTHANG!!!!Some of the episode's defining moments include:  What it was like growing up as a black man in a community of strong black women Common myths he's personally encountered about the strong black woman and how he handled them What it's like raising a daughter in a society that may label her as angry and his plan for handling that How forgiveness, patience and compassion can restore the relationship between the black man and strong black woman The role of black men in the strong black woman's life How men and women think, communicate,  operate and experience life differently How the breakdown in communication often contributes to the misconception of the strong black woman The importance of knowing your identity and strength as a woman from a non-secular or popular culture point of view The value of strong black women partnering with  black men and helping them to better understand their needs and how to support themThis episode has so much MEAT! Nobody's going hungry today.Seriously, Rob is serving up all kinds of goodness.  From his growing relationship with his eight-year old daughter to the characteristics of his ideal mate, he left no charcoal unburned.ABOUT ROBBeing a man of many gifts and talents, nothing exhilarates Robert Badgett III more than empowering the masses to take transformative action in their personal lives, businesses and families through education, arts and entertainment.For the last 15 years, he has used his creative forms of expression to reach the masses. As a music artist, he has released several empowering & motivational compilation albums filled with revival and hope! As a Producer, he has produced and co-hosted several radio programs aimed at empowering others to work through relationships issues with self and others, finding their voice, purpose and passion- whatever it takes to discover their greatness!As an author, he just released his brand new best seller His Love Letters for Her- his gift of inspiration to all women, reminding them that they are unconditionally loved and valued! He has written and marketed innovative curricula followed by making that hope, empowerment, and revival available to the masses through podcast and vlogs series as well as speaking words of empowerment at conferences, seminars and workshops, bringing healing, hope and insight to those trapped in failure!Robert H. Badgett III is also an entrepreneur, Founder and CEO of his own media education company, Made To BFree Inc.  Apart from business and ministry, Rob is a devoted father of three children and enjoys spending time investing in their lives. It is his mission and purpose to Be Filled, Revived, and Empowered everyday of his life.You can find Rob in the following online spaces:Website:  www.hislovelettersforher.comFacebook:  hislovelettersforherALL social media platforms:  @madetobfree Rob's MOST Quotable Moment:“You [women] have that internal clock of intuition and those hard wire emotionalthings that we just don't have, which is why we need you; but use it as a strength,not as something that's going to become a weakness in your relationship."If you enjoyed this episode of Shades of Strong, tell a friend to tell a friend.SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If this episode had you saying, "Pass the peas, like we used to do!", head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review. Other Ways to subscribe to Shade of Strong Podcast:
Stop Being Racist About My Black HairIt's a sad day when a law has to be put in place for black people to wear the hair that actually grows out of their scalp and style it the way they want.  Tune in now to hear J-Marie's and my perspective on why "others" don't want us in their work spaces with our hair.  And when you've soaked up all of this goodness, hop on over to  Shades of Strong and leave us a message telling us what you thought about the episode.ORHead on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation.  If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps! SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HERE for a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
Rape Culture Within The Culture | The Silent Cries of Strong Black Girls Disclaimer:  This episode is about sexual violence and may be a trigger for some.  Please proceed with caution. Rape culture is not a group of people who are actively or openly promoting rape -- that's not to imply that that kind of thing doesn't happen, but what we're talking about in this episode is every day cultural practices  in which sexual violence is treated as the norm and victims are blamed for their own assault and how "the culture" contributes to this kind of behavior. Some of the  practices/behavior we talked about in this episode are: "What happens in this house stays in this house" Telling women that they we're dressed inappropriately   Victim blaming Not having conversations with our sons (at a  young age) about their responsibility for how they treat women Giving the penis and vagina "cute" names  Publicly defending celebrities while accusing victims of wanting to destroy their careers No means no even within the confines of a relationship S and M/Sexual fantasiesListed below are some resources for anyone who has been a victim of sexual violence &/or for those who need help having the tough conversations and asking the hard questions.OrganizationPhone NumberDescriptionStop It Now!1-888-PREVENT (773-8368)Educational resource on watching for signs of child abuse, what to do if you suspect it, and ways to report itNew Hope Now714-NEW-HOPE (639-4673)Christian based counseling servicesRAINN1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Immediate crisis help and information about recovery and prosecution from the Rape, Abuse and Incest National NetworkSafe Horizon1-866-621-HOPE (4673)24 hour hotline for many kinds of abuseKristin Brooks Hope Center1-800-SUICIDENon-profit with focus on suicide counseling and awarenessCovenant House1-800-999-9999Free and confidential counseling, available 4:00pm-8:00pm, 7 days a weekSuicide Prevention Hotline1-800-273-TALK (8255)National suicide prevention lifelineChildhelp1-800-4-A-CHILD (422-4453)National child abuse hotlineThis episode is one of many conversations we need to normalize in  African American familes.  Our Children's lives depend on it. Tune in now to see how you can your family's dynamic by being bold enough, courageous to have the hard conversations. And when you've soaked up all of this goodness, hop on over to  Shades of Strong and leave us a message telling us what you thought about the episode.ORHead on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation.  If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps! SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HERE for a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
Can we PLEASE stop apologizing for our blackness? It's no secret that black women have been called every label under the sun -- bitter, angry, too emotional, not emotional enough... ...and the list goes on. Well, Natty and I are no longer ashamed to say that we have been AND sometimes still are ALL THE THINGS they call us and we're not apologizing for any of it. In this week's episode of Shades of Strong we're embracing our blackness by taking all the negative and harsh things they call us when they see us and turning them in to the goodness that is BLACK GIRL MAGIC!Why?  Because there is so much uniqueness in the blackness that is us and contrary to popular belief aka white America,  our blackness is what makes us human.Our blackness is what makes us great!Our culture is wrapped up and tied up in the beauty of our blackness -- from the crown of heads to the tops of our feet, our blackness is who we are!So, what are you waiting for? Tune in now to see how we make magic by embracing what they call us when they see us.And when you've soaked up all of this goodness, hop on over to  Shades of Strong and leave us a message telling us what you thought about the episode.ORHead on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation.  If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps! SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HERE for a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
Photo Credit: Clarke Sanders on Unsplash Feeling stuck is scary and uncomfortable... It often comes when we're fighting against what we feel we've been born to do or when we're fighting desperately to play a role that has been forced upon us.In this episode Natty and I talk about some of the habits that keep black women feeling stuck using the Le’Andria Johnson story as a point of reference. It is painfully obvious in Le'Andria's story that feeling stuck is common among women, specifically African American women, for at least one of the reasons below:1. We fear breaking the “rules” (inflicted on them by others)2. We sacrifice our happiness for the happiness of others3. We allow others to silence us into submission4. They allow others to limit their potential5. We're afraid to reinvent ourselves6. We see vulnerability as a weaknessAnd don't forget to hop over to  and Shades of Strong and leave us a message telling us what you thought about the episode.ORHead on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation.  If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening!!  SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HERE for a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
Photo Credit: Not sure. If you know, please tag them We Love Our Black Men -- Sometimes to Our Own DetrimentWhen we're newly coupled up, everything looks like pink tulips and butterflies -- we spend our days daydreaming about him and the relationship through a pair of proverbial rose-colored glasses. But as soon as the newness wears off, ish gets real and everything in us is SCREAMING... GET OUT!!!But for whatever reason, we find ourselves stuck justifying why we stay and why we continue to accept the behavior that we're reluctant to call abuse.Those on the outside looking in could easily say that being "trapped" in a relationship is a state of mind, because surely no one needs consent to leave a relationship, right?Natty and I beg to differ.  There are countless women walking the face of the earth everyday going through their daily routines laughing and smiling, while being STUCK in unhealthy relationships that range from alienation of affection to literally fighting to stay alive.The reasons for staying vary from one woman to the next, but in this episode we cover the TOP FIVE REASONS why we often find ourselves trapped in unhealthy relationships. In no particular order those reasons are as follows:1. Our PERCEPTION of what constitutes abuse.  2. LOYALTY– as Black people, we don’t always feel comfortable surrendering “our own” to the treatment of a racially biased police state and as women, we don’t always feel safe calling police officers who may harm us instead of helping us. AND when we do speak out or seek help, we too often experience backlash from members of our own communities who believe we are airing out dirty laundry and making ourselves look bad in front of white people.3. SPIRITUAL BELIEFS -- we are more likely to rely on religious guidance and faith-based practices – Religious beliefs often discourage divorce, instead encourage forgiveness and often condemns those who dare to get out.4. Our attempts to embody the "STRONG BLACK WOMAN" STEREOTYPE– how we see ourselves5. SAVING FACE  – guilt, shame and fearThis episode is for every black woman who has been guilted into silence, for every black woman who's looking for a way out and for every black woman who finally got the courage to take her life back from the unhealthy relationship that stole it from her. YOU, MY BEAUTIFUL BLACK QUEENS ARE THE G.O.A.T! Tune in  NOW and be sure to share this episode with someone  you know who needs it; and be sure to grab the guide: Trapped in a Bad Relationship | Recognizing the Signs and How to Safely Get Out And don't forget to hop over to  and Shades of Strong and leave us a message telling us what you thought about the episode.ORHead on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation.  If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening!!  SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HERE for a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
Photo Credit: Not sure. If you know, please tag them To be Strong, Black and Woman Struggling with Mental Health Issues...We can't pray it away, we can't sleep it away, we can't choose it away. We need support too. Tarij P Henson, Michelle Williams, Alicia Keys, Jennifer Lewis, Lisa Nicole Carson, Fantasia, Audra McDonad, Halley Berry, Serena Williams, Macy Gray...What do these African American women have in common?  They've all been very open with there struggle with mental health issues.  You know what else they have in common?  We all celebrated and uplifted them when they announced their struggles with depression, bi-polar disorder, etc...So why is when "regular, everyday" women like Natalyn, Jasmin, Diathe and myself are open with our struggles, we're told to pray it away?Exxxactly! That was just one of the things we covered in this episode, and boy was it powerful!!This episode features guest co-hosts Diathe Garne and Jasmin Pierre, both strong advocates and professionals for mental health in the African American community.  They joined us behind the mic as we worked to bring clarity to:  The difference in being a black woman who is strong and a STRONG BLACK WOMAN The pros and cons of each – mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally The societal and religious pressure of being a strong black woman Suggestions on how we can shift the strong black woman narrative while protecting and prioritize our mental health Everybody in the room was more than happy share their personal experiences on how being a Strong Black Woman has often put her in a place of brokenness, how the church has directly or indirectly contributed to that brokenness and what it took for each of us to get our healing in world that often frowns on therapy and dismisses mental health issues in the African American community. Needless to say, it got really heavy and raw. Seriously, no stone was left un-turned in this episode.Do yourself a favor and don't sleep on this conversation.  Tune in  NOW and then hop over to  and Shades of Strong and leave us message telling us what you thought about the episode.ORHead on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation.  If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening!! ANDBe sure to check out The Safe Place App available in the app store for IPhone and Android.  The Safe Place is a minority mental health app created by Jasmin Pierre to raise mental health awareness in the black community and serves as a great resource for African American individuals considering therapy, but don't know where to start.SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HERE for a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
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