DiscoverShades of Strong ™ | Shifting the Strong Black Woman Narrative
Shades of Strong ™ | Shifting the Strong Black Woman Narrative
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Shades of Strong ™ | Shifting the Strong Black Woman Narrative

Author: Shirley Hubbard - Strong Black Woman Advocate

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Shades of Strong™ is about the everyday experiences that shape, make and often break the Strong Black Woman. On it you’ll hear conversations that explore how Strong Black Women live with and respond to the stereotypical myths, inequitable social norms, unjust cultural biases, and unreasonable expectations that show up in their everyday lives. You should listen in if you’re a Black Woman who’s ready to take back these three words and redefine what it means to be Strong, Black and Woman because of, and in spite of what others have defined those words to mean.
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Not all fatherless black girls come from broken homes and not all fatherless black girls have daddy issues so let's stop with the stereotypes. When we hear those words, we automatically go to the place of single parent homes, but being fatherless comes in many forms. You can be deemed “fatherless” even when your father is in the home Lacking a father’s protection and support Not knowing the identity of one’s father Not having a father living Shirl and Natty  have two very different experiences, but they both grew up without their fathers—Natty's dad passed when she was eleven— and Shirl's dad left when she was around the same age and although their experiences weren’t the same, they both experienced emotional trauma as a result of being fatherless black girls. Tune in to this week's episode to find out they navigated the pain from those experiences  and how they're dismantling the labels and stereotypes regarding the preconceived notions about what a fatherless black girl looks like.   Press play! We're waiting for you.   If you need support as you start to peel back the layers, head over to  Shades of Strong and leave us a voice message and we'll reach out to set up a time to chat.   We also have a visualization meditation that we would love to gift to you as you work your way through healing from the things you're often ashamed to talk about .  You can grab it HERE.    Be sure to head  over to FACEBOOK, TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet on this week’s episode.  If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening, sis!   SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW   If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HEREfor a quick how to. Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
Family secrets.  How many of us have them?   I'd be willing to bet that everyone listening to this episode has at least one. We all have a chapter in our lives we're ashamed to read aloud -- secrets that are buried deep inside, which brings us to our topic today. BLACK FAMILY SECRETS!   That's certainly not to imply that other cultures  don’t have secrets, but I think we can all agree that black family secrets often have roots so deep that their effects are often repeated in every generation.   And THAT has proven to be extremely dangerous.   With that said, Shirl, Natty and guest co-host Randi B are peeling  back the layers on the dangers of black family secrets...   Is it REALLY a cultural thing? Why are we so adamant about “what's said in this house stays in this house”? What's the real secret behind black family secrets? What role has the black church played in black families keeping secrets? How do black family secrets differ from that of other cultures? How can we rewrite the narrative?   If you are a survivor of a family secret that caused you harm you physically or emotionally, you're in the right place at the right time because these ladies are sharing their stories about how they found healing after the secret and how you can too.   So....   You know what to do next...   Press play! Your journey to healing awaits you.    And if you need support as you start to peel back the layers, head over to  Shades of Strong and leave us a voice message and we'll reach out to set up a time to chat.   We also have a visualization meditation that we would love to gift to you as you work your way through healing from the things you're often ashamed to talk about .  You can grab it HERE.    Be sure to head  over to FACEBOOK, TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet on this week’s episode.  If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening, sis!   SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW   If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HEREfor a quick how to. Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
Stop letting people tell you that you gotta fake it til you make it. ...because YOU DON'T have to do that, sis. There is nothing cute or praise worthy about faking anything. Listen, I get it. Life will suck the happy right out of you. As a matter of fact, it will suck YOU out of your life. Anger, sorrow, grief, guilt, shame, feelings of abandonment and rejection -- all of that will eat away at your capacity to live a good life if you don't process those feelings and emotions. And just in case you're wondering, processing does not involve sweeping things under the rug and pretending like they don't exist. I KNOW that it takes an immense amount of strength and courage to live life without the mask, but it's time to look YOU in the face and say, "girl, it’s time to heal all the sh*t you’re not talking about". I'm not side-eyeing or judging you. I'm simply saying, stop faking it and do the work, because being strong is not about hiding behind a facade. It's being bold enough to shine a light on your truth and stand it.   Being strong is about having the courage to live life without the mask!   And that's what we're talking about in this week's episode. We're digging deep into all the things Black Women hide behind that BIG HAPPY SMILE. Natty and I go all in on how our smiles were often used to mask what we were feeling and how the same is true for so many of us. If you're reading this you're probably guilty of using your smile as a defense mechanism, using it to hide the real you. As Black women our smiles are often used to hide how dead we're feeling inside... You know the whole, “ I smile keep from crying thing”? Yeah, that! Our smiles mask all of our STUFF – the childhood trauma, the self-loathing, the lack of worthiness, the pain and shame of broken relationships, the feelings of not being enough... And I'd be willing to bet that all that hiding and masking started in childhood, right? Press play on this episode to find out how you can finally live your life without the mask. And if you need support as you begin to unmask and unpack, we have a visualization meditation that we would love to gift to you.  You can grab it HERE.  If you need to talk through some things, we're here for that too. So, head over to  Shades of Strong and leave us a voice message and we'll reach out to set up a time to chat. AND be sure to head  on FACEBOOK, TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet on this week’s episode.  If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening, sis!   SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW   If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HEREfor a quick how to. Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
Hey y'all!  Season 3 is about to be LIT because we're talking ALL THINGS healing.  If you're ready to set yourself free from the guilt, shame and blame of unfortunate circumstances (past or present), you don't want to miss any of season three's episodes!
How do you teach your Black Son how to thrive in a country where modern day Jim Crow laws and the school-to-prison pipeline are very serious realities? Randi B and I both know from personal experience that rearing a black son is a daunting task in and of itself. Couple that with raising him in a world that ridicules, dishonors and  discounts him simply because  of the color of his skin, and you have an even greater challenge on your hands. In today's episode take a deep dive into how black moms don't have the luxury of being being soft when it comes to raising our boys because we're too busy trying to save them from the world that literally wants to kill him for just breathing. I shared with her  how In my efforts to teach my son how to be a man, I was constantly focusing on all the things he shouldn’t be doing AND what I didn’t want to happen to him.   I didn’t want him to become like the boys he often kept company with. I didn’t want the streets to get him!  I didn’t want to lose him to drugs.  I was always telling him what he shouldn’t do… what he couldn’t do.  I rarely (if ever) told him what he could do. I was so afraid that he would fail, til the possibility of success never even crossed my mind! If you have a black son or know someone who does, you do not want to miss this episode.  It's a good one, peeps! We’d love to hear your thoughts on this on episode.  So, head over to  Shades of Strong and leave a voice message letting us know what’s on your mind. OR Head on over to FACEBOOK, TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet on this week’s episode.  If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps.   SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW   If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HEREfor a quick how to. Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
Here's what we've been up to since the end of season two and what you have to look forward to for season 3. In a nutshell, Season 3 is all about helping you understand, process and move past the sh*t  you're too afraid to talk about -- you know, the guilt, the shame, the blame -- all things you've buried alive......
When's the last time you asked yourself the question, "what makes me happy"?  I'd be willing to bet that the answer to that question is NEVER. Okay, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt -- maybe you have asked yourself, but have you really sat in it?  What does happiness look like for you? Do you even know? As Black women we are so consumed with making sure that everyone around us happy, til we forget that we deserve some Black Girl Happy in our lives too! Well, Randi Bryant is here to SHUT DOWN THE NARRATIVE that the happiness of others takes priority over your happiness   Randi shares her journey of how she finally tapped into the Black Girl Happy that IS Black Girl Magic... ...and how Black Women often find it challenging to create happiness because nobody has ever taught the Black Woman or given the Black Woman permission to be happy. In her words, We are giving a checklist and we live our lives going after accomplishments, but never consider our happiness.   College - check.   Marriage - check.   Member of the bougie club - check.   House - check.  Everybody is always saying, "girl go be successful". Why is no one saying, "girl go be happy?" Randi makes it clear that the Black Woman CANNOT continue to wait for the world to give her permission to be happy.  She MUST give herself permission to get on the Black Girl Happy train and stay there! After listening to this episode with Randi B, I hope you'll take some time to really sit in the question,  WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY? When you've soaked up all of this goodness, hop on over to  Shades of Strong and leave us a voice message telling us what you thought about the episode. OR Head on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation.  If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps!   ABOUT RANDI B Randi B is a diversity and inclusion strategist, author, speaker, and trainer. She helps people and businesses navigate tough racial, gender, and cultural issues by equipping them with the right tools and resources to foster real, open dialogue. She knows the power of communication can lead to inclusive environments where people feel comfortable being their complete, open, and authentic selves. Focusing on her mission to get people to open up and join the conversation (while also changing the world). In her book, Neversays™, Randi provides an easy-to-follow guide on 25 phrases you should never, ever say to keep your job and friends. The tenets of this book are based on the beliefs that people are good but uninformed and uncomfortable with difference. This book provides real, practical advice on how to navigate these difficult-to-talk-about topics. Through her speeches, trainings, and one-on-one services Randi equips people with the right tools to engage in honest conversations about race, gender, sexuality, religion, cultural, and diversity issues. Randi has a wealth of knowledge and experience navigating the tough dialogues that come with discussing diversity and inclusivity topics. She is the founder and president of an award-winning change management company that she led for 17 years. She is also the creator of the trademarked “Fingerprint to Blueprint” curriculum and a former director of training and instruction for two tech start-ups. Additionally, she has helped many government clients and Fortune 500 companies in seven countries and 41 states. In addition to starting conversations that create change, Randi is an avid traveler. She lives in the San Francisco area with her husband and two sons. Be sure to connect with her on FACEBOOK and INSTAGRAM. OTHER LINKS AND WAYS TO CONNECT WITH RANDI B: Title: Owner | Author, Speaker, Trainer, Diversity + Inclusion Strategist Website: https://randib.net  Twitter Link: https://twitter.com/beatnik24  LinkedIn Link: https://www.linkedin.
Some of you probably know Gina Neely as the FULL OF LIFE  celebrity chef on the Food Network’s Down Home with The Neely’s or Aspire TV's Chop it up with Gina,  but  let me just tell ya, she is so much more than that. She’s an entrepreneur, a reality television star, New York Times Bestselling Author, she’s made guest appearances on Dr. Oz,  Good Morning America  and so many more. Gina Neely does ALL THE THINGS. She is the epitome of all that is STRONG, BLACK and WOMAN and I had so much fun recording this episode with her. It truly felt like sipping wine with a friend I hadn't seen in a while. We laughed about the days of old, reminisced about parenting our children when they were younger, chatted it up about securing the bag WHILE taking care of yourself. She told me about how she  fangirled out when she met Vanessa Williams. She even gave me a sneak peek into TWO projects she has coming down the pipeline. AND you know we threw a lil some, some in there about dating. You name it.....it probably came up. AND I can't wait for you to get all this goodness in your life. So...........what are you waiting for???  TUNE IN NOW!  to hear Gina Neely talk about all things JUST GINA!  When you've soaked up all of this goodness, hop on over to  Shades of Strong and leave us a voice message telling us what you thought about the episode. OR Head on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation.  If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps!   ABOUT GINA Gina is a motivational speaker, philanthropist, and mom, and her keys to success are her love for her family, food, and the enjoyment of life. She currently resides in Memphis, TN and has two daughters. Gina burst onto the scene in 2008 by starring in the hit show Down Home with the Neelys, which became the highest-rated series debut in the history of Food Network’s “In the Kitchen” block. The show immediately connected with viewers nation-wide by showcasing Gina’s love for family, food and the enjoyment of life. Following the tremendous success of her television show, Gina released her first cookbook, Down Home with the Neelys, which quickly earned a place on The New York Times bestseller list. A hit show and a bestseller soon lead to Gina’s prime time television debut as the host of Food Network’s Road Tasted. Enjoying continuing success in television, 2011 proved to be a tremendous success for Gina with the release of a second book, The Neely’s Celebration Cookbook. Gina is currently authoring a book, entitled “These Are My Rules, This Is My Life and I Want It Back” to help women maneuver through life and begin again. As a top rated television personality and best-selling author, Gina has performed live for thousands of fans all over the country, not only showcasing her skills and fun loving approach to cooking, but also sharing her perspectives on life, love, and the issues facing women in their personal and professional lives. Gina is a powerful and inspiring speaker who strives to meet the needs of those she encounters, empowering them to persevere and navigate through life. Gina has appeared on and/or co-hosted international, national and local television and radio shows, including The Talk, The Steve Harvey Show, The Rachael Ray Show, The Wendy Williams Show, Anderson Cooper Live!, The Monique Show, Good Morning America, the TODAY show, The Real Daytime Show, The View, The Chew, The Queen Latifah Show, Bethenny, Home & Family, The Arsenio Hall Show, Katie and Tyler Perry’s Meet the Browns. In print, Gina has been featured in People Magazine, O Magazine, Ebony, Essence, The Wall Street Journal, Black Enterprise, USA Today, Sam’s Club, Food Network Magazine and Dr. Oz. which makes her no stranger to Daytime Television but quite the novice as she engages and motivates Be sure to connect with her on FACEBOOK and INSTAGRAM ...
"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." If ever there was a principality over this nation, it is definitely racism and white supremacy. What the heck kind of demon is that?   Four hundred years later and we are STILL fighting for the right to be heard.   We are STILL fighting for our right to JUST BE... ...whoever we are, whatever we are in any given moment without judgment, scorn or ridicule.   In this final episode of season two, hosts, Shirley (Shirl) Hubbard  and Natalyn  (Natty)  Bradshaw give the listeners a review of the weekly conversations that kept them coming back for more.   Although, there were a range of topics discussed during this season, they all had one thing in common and that is how black women are constantly fighting to be seen and heard.  As Natalyn said during this episode, the issue of being anti-black is not just an issue here in the United States, it's a global issue.  Couple that with being female and strong, and the fight becomes even more real.   Tune in to the season finale now, and  when you’re finished, we’d love to hear what you're taking away from this season.  So, head over to  Shades of Strong and leave a voice message letting us know what's on your mind. OR Head on over to FACEBOOK, TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet on this week's episode.  If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps.   SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW   If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HEREfor a quick how to. Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
As Black Women, we don't have the luxury (aka PRIVILEGE) of not seeing color because we're constantly reminded of ours.   In this episode your hosts, Shirley (Shirl) Hubbard  and Natalyn  (Natty)  Bradshaw answer the question,   "Why was Shades of Strong created specifically for black women?"   YUP!!!  Someone actually hopped in the Shades of Strong inbox to ask, "why not all women".   So, Shirl and Natty waste no time giving the inquiring mind the answer to her burning question. Shirl admits that she was a little skeptical about creating a space for black women ONLY because she didn't want to contribute to the divisiveness that is is our country. But then, she remembered that...   Everything created for ALL women, was NEVER created with Black Women in mind.   ...and from that thought Shades of Strong was birthed.    Now, if you've listened to any of the show's previous episodes, you know the conversation went A LOT deeper than that.     Shirl and Natty dive head first into how most of us (Black Women) didn't grow up like our white counterparts. Our burdens, our privilege, our struggles, our experiences, our REALITIES are not the same.     And before you go saying, I don't see color or we all bleed the same, the hosts SHUT THAT DOWN too!    We bleed red like everyone else, but our blood is heavily seasoned with the pain and struggle of our ancestors and with that of ALL THE BLACK WOMEN who dare to have a voice and are ridiculed and persecuted for doing so.    .... and while saying, "I don't see color", seems like a noble stance, it is ultimately discounting our identities and our experiences as black women living in America.   These gold nuggets only scratch the surface of this episode.  And you know you want more, otherwise you wouldn't have scrolled down this far.   So scroll back to the top and click play or hop over to your favorite podcast platform and get the rest of this goodness in your life.   And when you’re finished, we’d love to hear your thoughts on the subject.  So, head over to  Shades of Strong and leave us voice message letting us know what's on your mind. OR Head on over to FACEBOOK, TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet on this week's episode.  If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps.   SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW   If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HEREfor a quick how to. Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
This episode is filled with poetry snaps and slow claps.  Seriously, Angela Roulette peels back every emotional layer while sharing her story of releasing the pain of the past and taking her life back from circumstances that threatened to kill her.   Some of the episode's defining moments include:   How her self esteem suffered as a result of not being wanted by her father How she overcame the guilt and shame of her father's suicide Her PTSD and anxiety diagnosis having grown up in a community that "doesn't do mental illness". How she went from one dysfunctional relationship to the next in search of unconditional love How she sabotaged the one great relationship she had because she was broken How therapy and faith CAN co-exist Her life before and after therapy How she chooses peace over everything, even if that means letting some people go This episode is jammed packed with realness and rawness Angela wastes absolutely no time spitting her truth about releasing the pain, heartache and trauma of past experiences. She gets naked about her estranged relationship with her mother and father, overcoming guilt and shame and how poetry saved her life.   ABOUT ANGELA Born and raised in Kansas City, MO, poet Mz Angela Roux has always been a fan of language. She describes her poetry as “edu-tainment”, combining witty perspectives on modern day womanhood with social commentary and personal testimony. She is the creator and producer of Estrogen Rush, an all-female poetry show, which debuted in November 2012. In November 2015, she released and debuted her first poetry book "The Sinbad Sessions: Poems by Mz Angela Roux" published by Spartan Press. Currently she is the host of Roux On The Radio, airing third Saturdays at noon on KUAW 98.5FM and the TuneIn App. You can find Angela in the following online spaces: Facebook: : www.facebook.com/mzangelaroux Instagram:  @mz_angela_roux Snapchat:  mz_angelaroux   Angela's MOST Quotable Moment: “ I love my mom from a very realistic place.  I had to 'bury' the mother I wanted; and learn to love the mother I have.  The moment I let go of the idea of what I wanted my mother to be, was the moment I started to get more peace." SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW!  And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HERE for a quick how to. Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong™ Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
I CHOOSE ME EVEN WHEN HE DOESN'T   Pick me! Choose me! Love me!  Remember that scene from Grey's Anatomy when Meredith was practically begging Derek to choose her over his wife?    Although there were some extenuating circumstances that led up to that scene, I have to say it was undoubtedly the one of most pitiful things I had ever witnessed in my entire life and I was disgusted by it.    Which is why I LOVE  Sanaa Lathan for speaking her truth and standing in it. She made it abundantly clear that she's not sitting around waiting to be chosen my some knight in shiny armor.   "We read all these fairy tales, Snow White, Cinderella, and they’re being chosen by a man.That’s when you win when you are chosen by a man. That’s not the truth! I’ma choose me first.”   After reading those words on Madame Noire, I got lost in my thoughts about how excited women get when men FINALLY propose marriage and how we’re always hoping and praying that he pops the question…   Kinda like we’re waiting to be FULLY chosen, because clearly dating is NOT enough. So, I thought why not have a conversation about that to see if I can get some clarity around the magic of being chosen for marriage.     Why can't I choose me without constantly being asked...   Why are you still single? When y'all getting married? When you gon' put some buns in the that oven? Black women are taking back their power to choose and I'm here for ALL OF IT!   In this week's episode we get down to the nitty gritty about how important it is to exercise your right to choose and what choosing you looks like.   So how 'bout you click play and get this all of this goodness in your life...   and when you're finished soaking it all up, hop on over to the website and leave us a voice message with your thoughts  or send us an email at hi@shadesofstrong.com.   You can also show us some love on FACEBOOK, TWITTER, and INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong.   If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps! SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW!  And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HERE for a quick how to. Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong™ Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
Long gone are the days when being black women, single black women, single black women with children, strong black women was viewed as some hard to cure illness that we need to be rescued from… Black women are well educated, well accomplished individuals making things happen.   We don't need a Captain Save a Queen!!!   We’re saving our dam selves!   AND we look good doing it. As a matter of fact, nobody does it better   In this episode we talk about Mary J Blige and her taking back the credit she gave her husband for helping her end her drug addiction.    We use Mary's situation to dissect the black woman's need to be rescued.     During our conversation we came into some powerful revelations about the fairy tales and happily ever afters our parents and WE fed ourselves and how those fairy tales have contributed to the devaluing of black women and why black women often find themselves in unhealthy relationships.   And of course, we didn't leave the men out... because we can't help ourselves without helping them out, right?   So how 'bout you click play and get this all of this goodness in your life...   and when you're finished soaking it all up, hop on over to the website and leave us a voice message with your thoughts  or send us an email at hi@shadesofstrong.com. You can also show us some love on FACEBOOK, TWITTER, and INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong.   If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps! SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW!  And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HERE for a quick how to. Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong™ Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
Black Women residing in what we've come to know as the Strong Black Woman or Superwoman Syndrome often seek peace and refuge in retail therapy aka emotional spending.  She seeks this refuge online, in a mall, or even at a car dealership—she's  just looking for something to comfort her mentally and/or emotionally and in more cases than not, that comfort comes with a hefty price tag. Her spending is directly related to her feeling overwhelmed, undervalued, neglected, angry, disconnected – the greater the pain she’s experiencing in that moment, the higher the price tag for rewarding herself. Emotional spending in its simplest form is buying things with the hopes that it will make us feel better about whatever emotional pain we’re experiencing.  But it can also break the bank, AND it doesn’t necessarily help you deal with whatever  triggered the spending in the first place Emotional spending  breeds financial dysfunction and that dysfunction is passed down to our children and our children’s children’s children – err go generational curses. In this episode, Natty and I get candid about our experiences with emotional spending and impulse buying.   In addition to sharing our experiences, we  offered suggestions on how to recognize your spending triggers, as well as alternative (no cost) coping techniques that you can easily implement when life gets to be too much. So, check it out and leave us a voice message with your thoughts about this episode or send us an email at hi@shadesofstrong.com. You can also show us some love on FACEBOOK, TWITTER, and INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong.   If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps! SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW!  And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HERE for a quick how to. Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong™ Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
You asked!  We answered! Our listeners want answers to some really tough questions and we're here for ALL OF THEM   How do you forgive people who are not sorry? How do you trust your child again after they break your trust? What are some steps to healing?   We took each of them one by one sharing our experiences and imparting some wisdom.  Do yourself a favor and tune in for our responses.   ******* Forgiveness is probably one of THE most challenging things you'll ever have to do when you've been betrayed by someone you love and care about.  Couple that with trying to forgive someone who truly doesn't give a eff about hurting you, and you've  got an even greater challenge on your hands.  But, the reality is you can either forgive or feel like crap.  Those really are you ONLY options so come on in, pull up a chair and let's talk about it. And while you're here, let's  chat it up about how you and your child can get back on Trust Avenue after the trust has been broken.  I know about this all too well, so I know your first reaction is usually one of anger and betrayal; and the next reaction is usually doling out punishment, but before you go running full speed ahead into locking folks in rooms and snatching up cell phones, how bout listening to some of our suggestions on how to handle a betrayal of trust from the youngster.   Yeah, I know that's a lot of  hard talk for one episode, but I can't let you leave without throwing in some tidbits on how to get yourself some healing because that's where your happiness lies, Queen.  Yup! I said it.  You will never experience true happiness until you find healing.   Alright!!! Are you ready for this episode?  From forgiveness to broken trust to healing, we left no stone uncovered in this episode.   Well, what are you waiting for?  Let's do this!   Oh, and I hope you haven't forgotten about how much we love hearing from you.  So after you've loved on your ears, heart and soul with this message, love on us by heading over to Shades of Strong™  to leave us a voice message telling us what you thought about this episode or send us an email at hi@shadesofstrong.com. You can also show us some love on FACEBOOK, TWITTER, and INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong.   If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps! SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW!  And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HERE for a quick how to. Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong™ Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
Does being a STRONG single mother for so long effect how you handle a new healthy relationship?   Mailbag Episode Part ONE: Without even thinking about this question, it's a HARD YES. As black women we have this thing where (in more cases that not) we want to be independent. We want to do things on our own. We don't like relying on others to do things for us.  That is multiplied times three OR MORE when you are a black single mom because you're accustomed to doing things on your own.  When you're a black single mom you're often operating from that "I don't need a man" space; which is not necessarily a bad thing, but as cliché as it sound, people need people.  You can't do life alone, which means you most certainly can't be a strong black mom without the support of others. Being independent is not a bad thing, but as cliche as it sounds, people need people... Tune in now to see how Natty and I answered this question, along with two others that we pulled from our mail bag.  This is part one of or mail bag episode, where we're answering listener questions.  We had time to answer three in this episode and we'll answer more in next week's episode.  I hope you'll tune in.   When you're finished soaking up all the goodness is this episode, we'd love to hear from you.  So, hop on over to  Shades of Strong and leave us a voice message and let know what you thought about this episode or send us an email at hi@shadesofstrong.com. Head on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet.   If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps! SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW!  And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HERE for a quick how to. Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
Self-care is about taking care of you so that you don’t feel like you want to run away from home, aka your life.     Michelle Goodloe, self-care blogger and author of the guided self-care journal, Self Explore, Self Restore stopped by the virtual studio to impart some wisdom on how to take care of you both in and out of "crisis season".  Michelle is a licensed social worker with experiences in  providing clinical services, technical assistance and training on interpersonal trauma, domestic violence and child abuse.  She is all too familiar with, and understands how difficult it can be to practice self-care on a regular basis. Thus her reason for creating the GMichelle Self Care Platform".   And in this episode she's handing out all kinds of self-care goodies as she reminds us that self-care isn't selfish.  She sheds light on how you can get consumed with guilt because you don't feel like you deserve to take care of you, why you feel guilty about and how you can put those feelings in check with a few simple, but fun activities. Some of the things we covered in this episode were: What is trauma? Implementing a regular and daily self-care practice Creating a self-care "to go" strategy How self-care is directly connected to self-awareness Recognizing deficits in nutrition to contribute to increased stress levels and trauma ...and so much more. Michelle also answered a listener's question during this episode.  Here's the question, but you have to tune in to hear her response... I'm a single mother who works full time. Although, my kids are not a job, most of the time it feels like I have 2 full time jobs and I'm being worked overtime.   At this point I'm feeling run down and I'm failing to take care of myself due to time and financial restraints. It's hard for me to feel strong and be at my best when I feel so worn out mentally and physically. But I know if I'm not okay then my kids are not okay so I need to take care of me. How do I find time for "me time" that'll fit in tight budget?   Signed, Overworked The strategies/activities she provided in response to this question are oh so good.  She made it super clear that you can still take care of you even when it's challenging to take a break from being a mom. Taking care of you is the MOST important thing you can do for yourself and your family. You want to leave a legacy that your family can be proud of, and that starts with you taking care of you FIRST. ...because as cliche as it sounds, you can't take care of others if you don't take care of you.    As you can see, this episode is filled with so much goodness. So be sure to check it out.  And be sure to connect with Michelle Goodloe on Instagram at @thegmichelle and on her website at gmichelle.com.   And  while you're on her website, take a few minutes to take the Discover Your Needs: Self Care Quiz  and check out this really cool article:  3 Ways to Create Your Self-Care Plan. And..... When you're finished soaking up all this wisdom and knowledge,  we'd love to hear from you.  So, hop on over to  Shades of Strong and leave us a voice message and let know what you thought about this episode or send us an email at hi@shadesofstrong.com. Head on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet.   If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps! SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW!  And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HEREfor a quick how to. Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify
We are a little over the midway mark of Season two so we thought now might be good time to highlight some of our most listened to episodes. In other words, LET'S DO IT AGAIN. Enjoy this compilation of clips featuring some of your and our favorite episodes, and if you missed any of them, go back and check out the full episode.  And even if you didn't miss any, check them out again and share them with a friend. Episodes highlighted: Episode 002: Behind the Mask of the Angry Black Woman Episode 005: Trapped in a Bad Relationship Episode 006: Habits That Keep Black Women Stuck Episode 009: I'm My Child's Friend, but I'm Still in Control Episode 011: Sisterhood! They Smile in Your Face Episode 012: Don't Tell Me How to Heal My Pain Period Episode 013: Finding Yourself and Standing in Your Truth Episode 014: Where is God When Life Happens   And when you're finished, we'd love to hear from you.  So, hop on over to  Shades of Strong and  share your story with us via voice message or send us an email at hi@shadesofstrong.com. OR Head on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet.   If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps!   SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW   If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HEREfor a quick how to. Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
How do you deal with LIFE when life happens?   Here's an even better question  OR the one more frequently asked...   Where is God when life happens?    How many times have you questioned this very thing when when life turns your world upside down?  I can't even count the number of times  I've questioned why God allowed this horrible thing to happen to me.  For as long as I can remember, my life has been one traumatic event after another. Seriously, there have been so many days when I’ve been like,   “Really God? You doing that?”   ...and I’ve shed more tears than I care to remember. As a matter of fact, that is the story of my life and I'm sharing a little of it in this week's episode.   Tune in NOW as I share my story of hope, healing and forgiveness, and how I eventually came to terms with WHY God allowed so many horrible things to happen in my life.   And when you're finished, we'd love to hear from you.  So, hop on over to  Shades of Strong and  share your story with us via voice message or send us an email at hi@shadesofstrong.com. OR Head on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet.   If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps!   SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW   If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HEREfor a quick how to. Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
There's so much freedom in finding yourself, owning your voice and standing in your truth. Tune in as Shades of Strong co-host, Natty shares her story of healing from an emotionally unhealthy,interracial marriage and how she developed a contingency plan to help her deal with trauma in a healthy and productive way.   And when you're finished, we'd love to hear from you.  So, hop on over to  Shades of Strong and  share your story with us via voice message.  OR Head on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet.   If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps!   SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW   If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HEREfor a quick how to. Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
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Comments (2)

Veronica Harrell

completely agree that we think we need to have a man to validate us as women. I've even had family to tell me, when I was in past relationships, to keep up with him if he's losing weight. if he's getting fit then I need to do the same because if not he's going to pick someone else "sexier". so I think I was taught not only to get picked by the guy but keep up with him or he won't want u anymore. so a cycle of inadequacy.

Oct 23rd
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