DiscoverShades of Strong ™ | Shifting the Strong Black Woman Narrative
Shades of Strong ™ | Shifting the Strong Black Woman Narrative
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Shades of Strong ™ | Shifting the Strong Black Woman Narrative

Author: Shirley Hubbard - Strong Black Woman Advocate

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Shades of Strong™ is about the everyday experiences that shape, make and often break the Strong Black Woman. On it you’ll hear conversations that explore how Strong Black Women live with and respond to the stereotypical myths, inequitable social norms, unjust cultural biases, and unreasonable expectations that show up in their everyday lives. You should listen in if you’re a Black Woman who’s ready to take back these three words and redefine what it means to be Strong, Black and Woman because of, and in spite of what others have defined those words to mean.
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"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places."If ever there was a principality over this nation,it is definitely racism andwhite supremacy.What the heck kind of demon is that? Four hundred years later and we are STILLfighting for the right to be heard. We are STILL fighting for our right to JUST BE......whoever we are, whatever we are in any given moment without judgment, scorn or ridicule.  In this final episode of season two, hosts, Shirley (Shirl) Hubbard  and Natalyn  (Natty)  Bradshaw give the listeners a review of the weekly conversations that kept them coming back for more.  Although, there were a range of topics discussed during this season, they all had one thing in common and that is how black women are constantly fighting to be seen and heard. As Natalyn said during this episode, the issue of being anti-black is not just an issue here in the United States, it's a global issue.  Couple that with being female and strong, and the fight becomes even more real.  Tune in to the season finale now, and  when you’re finished, we’d love to hear what you're taking away from this season.  So, head over to  Shades of Strong and leave a voice message letting us know what's on your mind.ORHead on over to FACEBOOK, TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet on this week's episode.  If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps. SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HEREfor a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
As Black Women, we don't have the luxury (aka PRIVILEGE) of not seeing color because we're constantly reminded of ours. In this episode your hosts, Shirley (Shirl) Hubbard  and Natalyn  (Natty)  Bradshaw answer the question, "Why was Shades of Strong created specifically for black women?" YUP!!!  Someone actually hopped in the Shades of Strong inbox to ask, "why not all women".  So, Shirl and Natty waste no time giving the inquiring mind the answer to her burning question.Shirl admits that she was a little skeptical about creating a space for black women ONLY because she didn't want to contribute to the divisiveness that is is our country. But then, she remembered that... Everything created for ALL women, wasNEVER created with Black Women in mind. ...and from that thought Shades of Strong was birthed.  Now, if you've listened to any of the show's previous episodes, you know the conversation went A LOT deeper than that.   Shirl and Natty dive head first into how most of us (Black Women) didn't grow up like our white counterparts. Our burdens, our privilege, our struggles, our experiences, our REALITIES are not the same.   And before you go saying, I don't see color or we all bleed the same, the hosts SHUT THAT DOWN too!  We bleed red like everyone else, but our blood is heavily seasoned with the pain and struggle of our ancestors and with that of ALL THE BLACK WOMEN who dare to have a voice and are ridiculed and persecuted for doing so.  .... and while saying, "I don't see color", seems like a noble stance, it is ultimately discounting our identities and our experiences as black women living in America. These gold nuggets only scratch the surface of this episode.  And you know you want more, otherwise you wouldn't have scrolled down this far.   So scroll back to the top and click play or hop over to your favorite podcast platform and get the rest of this goodness in your life. And when you’re finished, we’d love to hear your thoughts on the subject.  So, head over to  Shades of Strong and leave us voice message letting us know what's on your mind.ORHead on over to FACEBOOK, TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet on this week's episode.  If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps. SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HEREfor a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
This episode is filled with poetry snaps and slow claps.  Seriously, Angela Roulette peels back every emotional layer while sharing her story of releasing the pain of the past and taking her life back from circumstances that threatened to kill her. Some of the episode's defining moments include:  How her self esteem suffered as a result of not being wanted by her father How she overcame the guilt and shame of her father's suicide Her PTSD and anxiety diagnosis having grown up in a community that "doesn't do mental illness". How she went from one dysfunctional relationship to the next in search of unconditional love How she sabotaged the one great relationship she had because she was broken How therapy and faith CAN co-exist Her life before and after therapy How she chooses peace over everything, even if that means letting some people goThis episode is jammed packed with realness and rawnessAngela wastes absolutely no time spitting her truth about releasing the pain, heartache and trauma of past experiences. She gets naked about her estranged relationship with her mother and father, overcoming guilt and shame and how poetry saved her life. ABOUT ANGELABorn and raised in Kansas City, MO, poet Mz Angela Roux has always been a fan of language. She describes her poetry as “edu-tainment”, combining witty perspectives on modern day womanhood with social commentary and personal testimony. She is the creator and producer of Estrogen Rush, an all-female poetry show, which debuted in November 2012. In November 2015, she released and debuted her first poetry book "The Sinbad Sessions: Poems by Mz Angela Roux" published by Spartan Press. Currently she is the host of Roux On The Radio, airing third Saturdays at noon on KUAW 98.5FM and the TuneIn App.You can find Angela in the following online spaces:Facebook: : www.facebook.com/mzangelarouxInstagram:  @mz_angela_rouxSnapchat:  mz_angelaroux Angela's MOST Quotable Moment:“ I love my mom from a very realistic place.  I had to 'bury' the mother I wanted; and learn to love the mother I have.  The moment I let go of the idea of what I wanted my mother to be, was the moment I started to get more peace."SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEWIf you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW!  And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HERE for a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong™ Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
I CHOOSE ME EVEN WHEN HE DOESN'T Pick me! Choose me! Love me!  Remember that scene from Grey's Anatomy when Meredith was practically begging Derek to choose her over his wife?  Although there were some extenuating circumstances that led up to that scene, I have to say it was undoubtedly the one of most pitiful things I had ever witnessed in my entire life and I was disgusted by it.  Which is why I LOVE  Sanaa Lathan for speaking her truth and standing in it. She made it abundantly clear that she's not sitting around waiting to be chosen my some knight in shiny armor. "We read all these fairy tales, Snow White, Cinderella, and they’re being chosen by a man.That’s when you win when you are chosen by a man. That’s not the truth! I’ma choose me first.” After reading those words on Madame Noire, I got lost in my thoughts about how excited women get when men FINALLY propose marriage and how we’re always hoping and praying that he pops the question… Kinda like we’re waiting to be FULLY chosen, because clearly dating is NOT enough. So, I thought why not have a conversation about that to see if I can get some clarity around the magic of being chosen for marriage.   Why can't I choose me without constantly being asked... Why are you still single?When y'all getting married?When you gon' put some buns in the that oven?Black women are taking back their power to choose and I'm here for ALL OF IT! In this week's episode we get down to the nitty gritty about how important it is to exercise your right to choose and what choosing you looks like. So how 'bout you click play and get this all of this goodness in your life... and when you're finished soaking it all up, hop on over to the website and leave us a voice message with your thoughts  or send us an email at hi@shadesofstrong.com. You can also show us some love on FACEBOOK, TWITTER, and INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong.   If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps!SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEWIf you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW!  And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HERE for a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong™ Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
Long gone are the days when being black women, single black women, single black women with children, strong black women was viewed as some hard to cure illness that we need to be rescued from…Black women are well educated, well accomplished individuals making things happen. We don't need a Captain Save a Queen!!! We’re saving our dam selves! AND we look good doing it. As a matter of fact, nobody does it better In this episode we talk about Mary J Blige and her taking back the credit she gave her husband for helping her end her drug addiction.  We use Mary's situation to dissect the black woman's need to be rescued.   During our conversation we came into some powerful revelations about the fairy tales and happily ever afters our parents and WE fed ourselves and how those fairy tales have contributed to the devaluing of black women and why black women often find themselves in unhealthy relationships. And of course, we didn't leave the men out... because we can't help ourselves without helping them out, right?  So how 'bout you click play and get this all of this goodness in your life... and when you're finished soaking it all up, hop on over to the website and leave us a voice message with your thoughts  or send us an email at hi@shadesofstrong.com.You can also show us some love on FACEBOOK, TWITTER, and INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong.   If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps!SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEWIf you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW!  And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HERE for a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong™ Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
Black Women residing in what we've come to know as the Strong Black Woman or Superwoman Syndrome often seek peace and refuge in retail therapy aka emotional spending.  She seeks this refuge online, in a mall, or even at a car dealership—she's  just looking for something to comfort her mentally and/or emotionally and in more cases than not, that comfort comes with a hefty price tag.Her spending is directly related to her feeling overwhelmed, undervalued, neglected, angry, disconnected – the greater the pain she’s experiencing in that moment, the higher the price tag for rewarding herself.Emotional spending in its simplest form is buying things with the hopes that it will make us feel better about whatever emotional pain we’re experiencing.  But it can also break the bank, AND it doesn’t necessarily help you deal with whatever  triggered the spending in the first place Emotional spending  breeds financial dysfunction and that dysfunction is passed down to our children and our children’s children’s children – err go generational curses.In this episode, Natty and I get candid about our experiences with emotional spending and impulse buying.  In addition to sharing our experiences, we  offered suggestions on how to recognize your spending triggers, as well as alternative (no cost) coping techniques that you can easily implement when life gets to be too much.So, check it out and leave us a voice message with your thoughts about this episode or send us an email at hi@shadesofstrong.com.You can also show us some love on FACEBOOK, TWITTER, and INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong.   If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps!SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEWIf you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW!  And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HERE for a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong™ Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
You asked!  We answered!Our listeners want answers to some really tough questions and we're here for ALL OF THEM  How do you forgive people who are not sorry? How do you trust your child again after they break your trust? What are some steps to healing? We took each of them one by one sharing our experiences and imparting some wisdom.  Do yourself a favor and tune in for our responses. *******Forgiveness is probably one of THE most challenging things you'll ever have to do when you've been betrayed by someone you love and care about.  Couple that with trying to forgive someone who truly doesn't give a eff about hurting you, and you've  got an even greater challenge on your hands.  But, the reality is you can either forgive or feel like crap.  Those really are you ONLY options so come on in, pull up a chair and let's talk about it.And while you're here, let's  chat it up about how you and your child can get back on Trust Avenue after the trust has been broken. I know about this all too well, so I know your first reaction is usually one of anger and betrayal; and the next reaction is usually doling out punishment, but before you go running full speed ahead into locking folks in rooms and snatching up cell phones, how bout listening to some of our suggestions on how to handle a betrayal of trust from the youngster.  Yeah, I know that's a lot of  hard talk for one episode, but I can't let you leave without throwing in some tidbits on how to get yourself some healing because that's where your happiness lies, Queen.  Yup! I said it.  You will never experience true happiness until you find healing.  Alright!!! Are you ready for this episode? From forgiveness to broken trust to healing,we left no stone uncovered in this episode. Well, what are you waiting for?  Let's do this!  Oh, and I hope you haven't forgotten about how much we love hearing from you.  So after you've loved on your ears, heart and soul with this message, love on us by heading over to Shades of Strong™  to leave us a voice message telling us what you thought about this episode or send us an email at hi@shadesofstrong.com.You can also show us some love on FACEBOOK, TWITTER, and INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong.   If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps!SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEWIf you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW!  And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HERE for a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong™ Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
Does being a STRONG single mother for so longeffect how you handle a new healthy relationship? Mailbag Episode Part ONE:Without even thinking about this question, it's a HARD YES. As black women we have this thing where (in more cases that not) we want to be independent. We want to do things on our own. We don't like relying on others to do things for us.  That is multiplied times three OR MORE when you are a black single mom because you're accustomed to doing things on your own.  When you're a black single mom you're often operating from that "I don't need a man" space; which is not necessarily a bad thing, but as cliché as it sound, people need people. You can't do life alone, which means you most certainly can't be a strong black mom without the support of others.Being independent is not a bad thing, but as cliche as it sounds, people need people...Tune in now to see how Natty and I answered this question, along with two others that we pulled from our mail bag.  This is part one of or mail bag episode, where we're answering listener questions.  We had time to answer three in this episode and we'll answer more in next week's episode.  I hope you'll tune in.  When you're finished soaking up all the goodness is this episode, we'd love to hear from you.  So, hop on over to  Shades of Strong and leave us a voice message and let know what you thought about this episode or send us an email at hi@shadesofstrong.com.Head on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet.   If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps!SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEWIf you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW!  And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HERE for a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
Self-care is about taking care of you so that you don’t feellike you want to run away from home, aka your life.  Michelle Goodloe, self-care blogger and author of the guided self-care journal, Self Explore, Self Restore stopped by the virtual studio to impart some wisdom on how to take care of you both in and out of "crisis season". Michelle is a licensed social worker with experiences in  providing clinical services, technical assistance and training on interpersonal trauma, domestic violence and child abuse.  She is all too familiar with, and understands how difficult it can be to practice self-care on a regular basis. Thus her reason for creating the GMichelle Self Care Platform".  And in this episode she's handing out all kinds of self-care goodies as she reminds us that self-care isn't selfish.  She sheds light on how you can get consumed with guilt because you don't feel like you deserve to take care of you, why you feel guilty about and how you can put those feelings in check with a few simple, but fun activities.Some of the things we covered in this episode were: What is trauma? Implementing a regular and daily self-care practice Creating a self-care "to go" strategy How self-care is directly connected to self-awareness Recognizing deficits in nutrition to contribute to increased stress levels and trauma...and so much more.Michelle also answered a listener's question during this episode.  Here's the question, but you have to tune in to hear her response...I'm a single mother who works full time. Although, my kids are not a job, most of the time it feels like I have 2 full time jobs and I'm being worked overtime. At this point I'm feeling run down and I'm failing to take care of myself due to time and financial restraints. It's hard for me to feel strong and be at my best when I feel so worn out mentally and physically. But I know if I'm not okay then my kids are not okay so I need to take care of me. How do I find time for "me time" that'll fit in tight budget? Signed, OverworkedThe strategies/activities she provided in response to this question are oh so good.  She made it super clear that you can still take care of you even when it's challenging to take a break from being a mom.Taking care of you is the MOST important thing you can do for yourself and your family. You want to leave a legacy that your family can be proud of, and that startswith you taking care of you FIRST....because as cliche as it sounds, you can't take care of others if you don't take care of you.   As you can see, this episode is filled with so much goodness. So be sure to check it out. And be sure to connect with Michelle Goodloe on Instagram at @thegmichelle and on her website at gmichelle.com.   And  while you're on her website, take a few minutes to take the Discover Your Needs: Self Care Quiz  and check out this really cool article:  3 Ways to Create Your Self-Care Plan.And.....When you're finished soaking up all this wisdom and knowledge,  we'd love to hear from you.  So, hop on over to  Shades of Strong and leave us a voice message and let know what you thought about this episode or send us an email at hi@shadesofstrong.com.Head on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet.   If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps!SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEWIf you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW!  And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HEREfor a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify
We are a little over the midway mark of Season two so we thought now might be good time to highlight some of our most listened to episodes. In other words, LET'S DO IT AGAIN. Enjoy this compilation of clips featuring some of your and our favorite episodes, and if you missed any of them, go back and check out the full episode.  And even if you didn't miss any, check them out again and share them with a friend.Episodes highlighted:Episode 002: Behind the Mask of the Angry Black WomanEpisode 005: Trapped in a Bad RelationshipEpisode 006: Habits That Keep Black Women StuckEpisode 009: I'm My Child's Friend, but I'm Still in ControlEpisode 011: Sisterhood! They Smile in Your FaceEpisode 012: Don't Tell Me How to Heal My Pain PeriodEpisode 013: Finding Yourself and Standing in Your TruthEpisode 014: Where is God When Life Happens And when you're finished, we'd love to hear from you.  So, hop on over to  Shades of Strong and  share your story with us via voice message or send us an email at hi@shadesofstrong.com.ORHead on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet.   If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps! SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HEREfor a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
How do you deal with LIFE when life happens? Here's an even better question  OR the one more frequently asked... Where is God when life happens?  How many times have you questioned this very thing when when life turns your world upside down?  I can't even count the number of times  I've questioned why God allowed this horrible thing to happen to me. For as long as I can remember, my life has been one traumatic event after another. Seriously, there have been so many days when I’ve been like, “Really God? You doing that?” ...and I’ve shed more tears than I care to remember. As a matter of fact, that is the story of my life and I'm sharing a little of it in this week's episode. Tune in NOW as I share my story of hope, healing and forgiveness, and how I eventually came to terms with WHY God allowed so many horrible things to happen in my life. And when you're finished, we'd love to hear from you.  So, hop on over to  Shades of Strong and  share your story with us via voice message or send us an email at hi@shadesofstrong.com.ORHead on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet.   If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps! SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HEREfor a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
There's so much freedom in finding yourself, owning your voice and standing in your truth. Tune in as Shades of Strong co-host, Natty shares her story of healing from an emotionally unhealthy,interracial marriage and how she developed a contingency plan to help her deal with trauma in a healthy and productive way. And when you're finished, we'd love to hear from you.  So, hop on over to  Shades of Strong and  share your story with us via voice message. ORHead on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet.   If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps! SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HEREfor a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
I've been seeing this meme floating around  on social media saying, "stop telling people how to heal from stuff you've never been through".... Well, here's a suggestion for ya...Stop telling people how to heal their [emotional] pain PERIOD! ヅRecently, while standing in the middle of the aisle at Walgreens looking for Dove’s pear and aloe vera soap, I heard the words,   “Girl, stop crying and get out of bed. Your life could be a lot worse. He’ll be back when he realizes what he lost….”  I was a little taken aback by the conversation for two reasons… One…. because here’s this lady is on the phone in a public place [loudly] having a conversation that most certainly should have been kept private.And two because……. Oh my gosh!  Why is she telling her that when she’s obviously hurting -- like in serious emotional pain?But, being the mind your business girl that I am, I shook it off, grabbed my soap and went on my merry little way.  In all honesty, the lady probably meant no harm and she clearly thought she was helping her friend; but the reality is when someone is going through a moment of despair the last thing she wants to hear is, “it could be worse.”    The fact that it could be worse does not lessen the pain she’s feeling in that moment, does it? Of course not! She may stop crying and she may even get out of bed, but it’s not because she realizes that it could be worse. It’s because she just realized that her friend doesn’t care about her pain – or at least that what’s she’s thinking because her friend (unknowingly) implied that her feelings are not valid.   So, she’s getting out of bed because now she’s got to prove to her friend that she’s bigger than this  pain she’s experiencing.Ladies!!! We gotta stop doing this to each other.  I talk to women everyday who are hurting, broken, struggling to recover from various traumas and tragedies – abuse, rape, rejection, death, break ups – pain that has left them feeling hopeless, worthless and un-loved. As a matter of fact, I used to be one of them. ...but they can’t get the healing they need because family, friends, society, religion have made them feel like they can’t feel what they’re feeling.Join Natty and I at the virtual table as we shed some light on how harmful our words can be when we're not sensitive to the trauma of others. And when you're finished, we'd love to hear your thoughts on how you support your friends and family when life happens unexpectedly.  So, hop on over to  Shades of Strong and  share your story with us via voice message. ORHead on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet.   If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps! SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HEREfor a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
... ♪♪ all the time they want to take your place ♪♪  We've seen a lot of the crab in the bucket mentality among African American females, and I'm not saying it doesn't exist in other communities -- I know it does, but like with all things that negatively impact us, the spotlight is often directed towards us more than others. Take for instance Nicki Minaj and Cardi B – I'm sure there are tons of other female singers and rappers that have beef with each other, but who's names constantly show up in the headlines?  Nicki and Cardi, right? But even with black females being under constant ridicule for tearing each other down, I'm actually noticing that A LOT of us are recognizing that we're stronger together, so we're forging solid friendships and clinging to the sisterhood both on and offline. Black women are coming together to lift each other up and cheer each other own.  We're tired of the whole super woman -- S on your chest mentality -- we're tired of being alone, hiding, living in shame and feeling disconnected. We ARE actually craving more meaningful connections with each other and I LOVE IT! But, here's the deal......if you don't surround yourself with the RIGHT people, you'll find yourself on the other side of sisterhood -- the side where betrayal, cattiness, competition, threats and gossip wreak havoc on your life.    That's when sisterhood becomes toxic! ヅ And... That's the sisterhood I'm not here for!  So, the question at hand is... WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN THE SISTERHOOD BECOMES TOXIC? How do you recover from it.  OR  Better yet, how do you keep it from happening? Tune in to this episode and get an earful as Natty and I talk about our personal experiences with betrayal and cattiness within friendships and on offer a few suggestions so that you don't find yourself in that same place. When you’ve soaked up all of the goodness that is this episode, hop on over to  Shades of Strong and leave us a voice message telling us what you thought about it.ORHead on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation.  If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps! SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HEREfor a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
I am not my hair!!  That's the tune Lynette Bradshaw is singing as she holds on tight to her emotional freedom while sharing her story of how losing her hair sent her into hiding and how it took her embracing her vulnerabilities and facing her fears head on to move out of that space into a space of freedom and wholeness. Lynette shares how she always had problems with her hair not growing, not being healthy, bald spots on the sides of my head and being bullied for it. In 2014 she lost all her hair and her heard herself  scream as if someone had died.I looked in the mirror and saw the ugly little girl I was. I saw the ugly teenager the bullies talked about and teased daily. I had to ask God to show me how to love the woman I was then, but I realized I didn't love the woman with hair.But Lynette didn't let the loss keep her stuck in bondage.  She took the necessary steps to set herself free by getting to the root cause of what robbed her of her emotional freedom.   In her search for emotional freedom, she landed on the "steps" of her parent's front porch where she felt like  they didn't want her, didn't need her, didn't love her which lead to years of depression.  Lynette details how her emotional freedom was destroyed by being called"a bald headed heifer" by her mom.  But she also details how she stared her "BULLY" (aka her fear) in the face and took back her emotional freedom. If you're struggling with finding your own emotional freedom because of things in the past, pain that as inflicted upon or because you've experienced some kind of loss, this episode will take you on a journey of healing, wholeness and freedom.  So, tune in now so you can get the healing you need and deserve. LYNETTE CAN BE FOUND IN THE FOLLOWING ONLINE SPACES:Facebook Business Page: Lynette M BradshawTwitter: Lynette M BradshawYouTube: http://bit.ly/LynetteMBradshawLive When you’ve soaked up all of the goodness that is this episode, hop on over to  Shades of Strong and leave us a voice message telling us what you thought about it.ORHead on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation.  If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps! SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HEREfor a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
The art of being a parent is to guide your children through life and to look out for their best interest; but contrary to what most believe, there is no parent-child relationship without some level of friendship.With that said, you MUST be your child's friend in order for your relationship with them to work. However, in the African American culture, the overall consensus is that the parent should absolutely NOT be her child's friend.The assumption is that we are stricter and less tolerant when it comes to how we raise our children and that is undoubtedly contributed to the fact the a vast majority of black children are raised in single parent homes and the mother is the primary parent – so we’re often have tough rules in place to “save” them from the world.When Natty and I were growing up our parent's didn't really believe in being “friends”.Children had their place and it was certainly not to befriend a parent.We raised our children a little different, but we still have healthy boundaries.In this episode we talk about some of those boundaries and how we've fostered a healthy friendship with our children while still maintaining respect and authority in the relationship.We both agree that being your child's friend is an essential and necessary part of preparing them to function in a society that can often be cruel and unfair. We provide some clarification on how being your child's friend does not take away from your ability to effectively parent or discipline and how fear based parent does not benefit you or your child.Tune in now to find out how you can be your child's friend and still maintain your parenting integrity. And when you’ve soaked up all of this goodness, hop on over to  Shades of Strong and leave us a voice message telling us what you thought about the episode.ORHead on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation.  If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps! SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HEREfor a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
Rob brought the MEAT to the cookout in this episode. I'm telling you, he gets ALL THE WAY NAKED about strong black women and the black men who love them. He delves deep into why there’s such a huge disconnect in male and female relationships and how we can remedy that by mastering the art of communication. Baabbyy!!!! He is serving up all kinds of goodness -- ribs, chicken, hamburgers, hot dogs..ERRTHANG!!!!Some of the episode's defining moments include:  What it was like growing up as a black man in a community of strong black women Common myths he's personally encountered about the strong black woman and how he handled them What it's like raising a daughter in a society that may label her as angry and his plan for handling that How forgiveness, patience and compassion can restore the relationship between the black man and strong black woman The role of black men in the strong black woman's life How men and women think, communicate,  operate and experience life differently How the breakdown in communication often contributes to the misconception of the strong black woman The importance of knowing your identity and strength as a woman from a non-secular or popular culture point of view The value of strong black women partnering with  black men and helping them to better understand their needs and how to support themThis episode has so much MEAT! Nobody's going hungry today.Seriously, Rob is serving up all kinds of goodness.  From his growing relationship with his eight-year old daughter to the characteristics of his ideal mate, he left no charcoal unburned.ABOUT ROBBeing a man of many gifts and talents, nothing exhilarates Robert Badgett III more than empowering the masses to take transformative action in their personal lives, businesses and families through education, arts and entertainment.For the last 15 years, he has used his creative forms of expression to reach the masses. As a music artist, he has released several empowering & motivational compilation albums filled with revival and hope! As a Producer, he has produced and co-hosted several radio programs aimed at empowering others to work through relationships issues with self and others, finding their voice, purpose and passion- whatever it takes to discover their greatness!As an author, he just released his brand new best seller His Love Letters for Her- his gift of inspiration to all women, reminding them that they are unconditionally loved and valued! He has written and marketed innovative curricula followed by making that hope, empowerment, and revival available to the masses through podcast and vlogs series as well as speaking words of empowerment at conferences, seminars and workshops, bringing healing, hope and insight to those trapped in failure!Robert H. Badgett III is also an entrepreneur, Founder and CEO of his own media education company, Made To BFree Inc.  Apart from business and ministry, Rob is a devoted father of three children and enjoys spending time investing in their lives. It is his mission and purpose to Be Filled, Revived, and Empowered everyday of his life.You can find Rob in the following online spaces:Website:  www.hislovelettersforher.comFacebook:  hislovelettersforherALL social media platforms:  @madetobfree Rob's MOST Quotable Moment:“You [women] have that internal clock of intuition and those hard wire emotionalthings that we just don't have, which is why we need you; but use it as a strength,not as something that's going to become a weakness in your relationship."If you enjoyed this episode of Shades of Strong, tell a friend to tell a friend.SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If this episode had you saying, "Pass the peas, like we used to do!", head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review. Other Ways to subscribe to Shade of Strong Podcast:
Stop Being Racist About My Black HairIt's a sad day when a law has to be put in place for black people to wear the hair that actually grows out of their scalp and style it the way they want.  Tune in now to hear J-Marie's and my perspective on why "others" don't want us in their work spaces with our hair.  And when you've soaked up all of this goodness, hop on over to  Shades of Strong and leave us a message telling us what you thought about the episode.ORHead on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation.  If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps! SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HERE for a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
Rape Culture Within The Culture | The Silent Cries of Strong Black Girls Disclaimer:  This episode is about sexual violence and may be a trigger for some.  Please proceed with caution. Rape culture is not a group of people who are actively or openly promoting rape -- that's not to imply that that kind of thing doesn't happen, but what we're talking about in this episode is every day cultural practices  in which sexual violence is treated as the norm and victims are blamed for their own assault and how "the culture" contributes to this kind of behavior. Some of the  practices/behavior we talked about in this episode are: "What happens in this house stays in this house" Telling women that they we're dressed inappropriately   Victim blaming Not having conversations with our sons (at a  young age) about their responsibility for how they treat women Giving the penis and vagina "cute" names  Publicly defending celebrities while accusing victims of wanting to destroy their careers No means no even within the confines of a relationship S and M/Sexual fantasiesListed below are some resources for anyone who has been a victim of sexual violence &/or for those who need help having the tough conversations and asking the hard questions.OrganizationPhone NumberDescriptionStop It Now!1-888-PREVENT (773-8368)Educational resource on watching for signs of child abuse, what to do if you suspect it, and ways to report itNew Hope Now714-NEW-HOPE (639-4673)Christian based counseling servicesRAINN1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Immediate crisis help and information about recovery and prosecution from the Rape, Abuse and Incest National NetworkSafe Horizon1-866-621-HOPE (4673)24 hour hotline for many kinds of abuseKristin Brooks Hope Center1-800-SUICIDENon-profit with focus on suicide counseling and awarenessCovenant House1-800-999-9999Free and confidential counseling, available 4:00pm-8:00pm, 7 days a weekSuicide Prevention Hotline1-800-273-TALK (8255)National suicide prevention lifelineChildhelp1-800-4-A-CHILD (422-4453)National child abuse hotlineThis episode is one of many conversations we need to normalize in  African American familes.  Our Children's lives depend on it. Tune in now to see how you can your family's dynamic by being bold enough, courageous to have the hard conversations. And when you've soaked up all of this goodness, hop on over to  Shades of Strong and leave us a message telling us what you thought about the episode.ORHead on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation.  If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps! SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HERE for a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
Can we PLEASE stop apologizing for our blackness? It's no secret that black women have been called every label under the sun -- bitter, angry, too emotional, not emotional enough... ...and the list goes on. Well, Natty and I are no longer ashamed to say that we have been AND sometimes still are ALL THE THINGS they call us and we're not apologizing for any of it. In this week's episode of Shades of Strong we're embracing our blackness by taking all the negative and harsh things they call us when they see us and turning them in to the goodness that is BLACK GIRL MAGIC!Why?  Because there is so much uniqueness in the blackness that is us and contrary to popular belief aka white America,  our blackness is what makes us human.Our blackness is what makes us great!Our culture is wrapped up and tied up in the beauty of our blackness -- from the crown of heads to the tops of our feet, our blackness is who we are!So, what are you waiting for? Tune in now to see how we make magic by embracing what they call us when they see us.And when you've soaked up all of this goodness, hop on over to  Shades of Strong and leave us a message telling us what you thought about the episode.ORHead on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation.  If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps! SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HERE for a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
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Veronica Harrell

completely agree that we think we need to have a man to validate us as women. I've even had family to tell me, when I was in past relationships, to keep up with him if he's losing weight. if he's getting fit then I need to do the same because if not he's going to pick someone else "sexier". so I think I was taught not only to get picked by the guy but keep up with him or he won't want u anymore. so a cycle of inadequacy.

Oct 23rd
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