DiscoverShades of Strong ™ | Shifting the Strong Black Woman Narrative
Shades of Strong ™ | Shifting the Strong Black Woman Narrative
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Shades of Strong ™ | Shifting the Strong Black Woman Narrative

Author: Shirley Hubbard - Strong Black Woman Advocate

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Created for Strong Black Women by Strong Black Women, we bring our listeners soul searching conversations about EVERYTHING. From the stereotypical myths and social norms, to cultural biases and expectations, we leave no stone un-turned, because the world is long overdue for dialogue about the cost of being a Strong Black Woman in a world that doesn’t honor and protect her. We are dedicated to having the discussions that will open space for more women to be and feel whatever Shade of Strong that’s real for them in a given moment — without judgement, stereotype, masks, scorn or ridicule
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I CHOOSE ME EVEN WHEN HE DOESN'T Pick me! Choose me! Love me!  Remember that scene from Grey's Anatomy when Meredith was practically begging Derek to choose her over his wife?  Although there were some extenuating circumstances that led up to that scene, I have to say it was undoubtedly the one of most pitiful things I had ever witnessed in my entire life and I was disgusted by it.  Which is why I LOVE  Sanaa Lathan for speaking her truth and standing in it. She made it abundantly clear that she's not sitting around waiting to be chosen my some knight in shiny armor. "We read all these fairy tales, Snow White, Cinderella, and they’re being chosen by a man.That’s when you win when you are chosen by a man. That’s not the truth! I’ma choose me first.” After reading those words on Madame Noire, I got lost in my thoughts about how excited women get when men FINALLY propose marriage and how we’re always hoping and praying that he pops the question… Kinda like we’re waiting to be FULLY chosen, because clearly dating is NOT enough. So, I thought why not have a conversation about that to see if I can get some clarity around the magic of being chosen for marriage.   Why can't I choose me without constantly being asked... Why are you still single?When y'all getting married?When you gon' put some buns in the that oven?Black women are taking back their power to choose and I'm here for ALL OF IT! In this week's episode we get down to the nitty gritty about how important it is to exercise your right to choose and what choosing you looks like. So how 'bout you click play and get this all of this goodness in your life... and when you're finished soaking it all up, hop on over to the website and leave us a voice message with your thoughts  or send us an email at hi@shadesofstrong.com. You can also show us some love on FACEBOOK, TWITTER, and INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong.   If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps!SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEWIf you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW!  And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HERE for a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong™ Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
Long gone are the days when being black women, single black women, single black women with children, strong black women was viewed as some hard to cure illness that we need to be rescued from…Black women are well educated, well accomplished individuals making things happen. We don't need a Captain Save a Queen!!! We’re saving our dam selves! AND we look good doing it. As a matter of fact, nobody does it better In this episode we talk about Mary J Blige and her taking back the credit she gave her husband for helping her end her drug addiction.  We use Mary's situation to dissect the black woman's need to be rescued.   During our conversation we came into some powerful revelations about the fairy tales and happily ever afters our parents and WE fed ourselves and how those fairy tales have contributed to the devaluing of black women and why black women often find themselves in unhealthy relationships. And of course, we didn't leave the men out... because we can't help ourselves without helping them out, right?  So how 'bout you click play and get this all of this goodness in your life... and when you're finished soaking it all up, hop on over to the website and leave us a voice message with your thoughts  or send us an email at hi@shadesofstrong.com.You can also show us some love on FACEBOOK, TWITTER, and INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong.   If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps!SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEWIf you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW!  And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HERE for a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong™ Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
Black Women residing in what we've come to know as the Strong Black Woman or Superwoman Syndrome often seek peace and refuge in retail therapy aka emotional spending.  She seeks this refuge online, in a mall, or even at a car dealership—she's  just looking for something to comfort her mentally and/or emotionally and in more cases than not, that comfort comes with a hefty price tag.Her spending is directly related to her feeling overwhelmed, undervalued, neglected, angry, disconnected – the greater the pain she’s experiencing in that moment, the higher the price tag for rewarding herself.Emotional spending in its simplest form is buying things with the hopes that it will make us feel better about whatever emotional pain we’re experiencing.  But it can also break the bank, AND it doesn’t necessarily help you deal with whatever  triggered the spending in the first place Emotional spending  breeds financial dysfunction and that dysfunction is passed down to our children and our children’s children’s children – err go generational curses.In this episode, Natty and I get candid about our experiences with emotional spending and impulse buying.  In addition to sharing our experiences, we  offered suggestions on how to recognize your spending triggers, as well as alternative (no cost) coping techniques that you can easily implement when life gets to be too much.So, check it out and leave us a voice message with your thoughts about this episode or send us an email at hi@shadesofstrong.com.You can also show us some love on FACEBOOK, TWITTER, and INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong.   If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps!SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEWIf you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW!  And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HERE for a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong™ Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
You asked!  We answered!Our listeners want answers to some really tough questions and we're here for ALL OF THEM  How do you forgive people who are not sorry? How do you trust your child again after they break your trust? What are some steps to healing? We took each of them one by one sharing our experiences and imparting some wisdom.  Do yourself a favor and tune in for our responses. *******Forgiveness is probably one of THE most challenging things you'll ever have to do when you've been betrayed by someone you love and care about.  Couple that with trying to forgive someone who truly doesn't give a eff about hurting you, and you've  got an even greater challenge on your hands.  But, the reality is you can either forgive or feel like crap.  Those really are you ONLY options so come on in, pull up a chair and let's talk about it.And while you're here, let's  chat it up about how you and your child can get back on Trust Avenue after the trust has been broken. I know about this all too well, so I know your first reaction is usually one of anger and betrayal; and the next reaction is usually doling out punishment, but before you go running full speed ahead into locking folks in rooms and snatching up cell phones, how bout listening to some of our suggestions on how to handle a betrayal of trust from the youngster.  Yeah, I know that's a lot of  hard talk for one episode, but I can't let you leave without throwing in some tidbits on how to get yourself some healing because that's where your happiness lies, Queen.  Yup! I said it.  You will never experience true happiness until you find healing.  Alright!!! Are you ready for this episode? From forgiveness to broken trust to healing,we left no stone uncovered in this episode. Well, what are you waiting for?  Let's do this!  Oh, and I hope you haven't forgotten about how much we love hearing from you.  So after you've loved on your ears, heart and soul with this message, love on us by heading over to Shades of Strong™  to leave us a voice message telling us what you thought about this episode or send us an email at hi@shadesofstrong.com.You can also show us some love on FACEBOOK, TWITTER, and INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong.   If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps!SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEWIf you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW!  And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HERE for a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong™ Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
Does being a STRONG single mother for so longeffect how you handle a new healthy relationship? Mailbag Episode Part ONE:Without even thinking about this question, it's a HARD YES. As black women we have this thing where (in more cases that not) we want to be independent. We want to do things on our own. We don't like relying on others to do things for us.  That is multiplied times three OR MORE when you are a black single mom because you're accustomed to doing things on your own.  When you're a black single mom you're often operating from that "I don't need a man" space; which is not necessarily a bad thing, but as cliché as it sound, people need people. You can't do life alone, which means you most certainly can't be a strong black mom without the support of others.Being independent is not a bad thing, but as cliche as it sounds, people need people...Tune in now to see how Natty and I answered this question, along with two others that we pulled from our mail bag.  This is part one of or mail bag episode, where we're answering listener questions.  We had time to answer three in this episode and we'll answer more in next week's episode.  I hope you'll tune in.  When you're finished soaking up all the goodness is this episode, we'd love to hear from you.  So, hop on over to  Shades of Strong and leave us a voice message and let know what you thought about this episode or send us an email at hi@shadesofstrong.com.Head on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet.   If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps!SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEWIf you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW!  And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HERE for a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
Self-care is about taking care of you so that you don’t feellike you want to run away from home, aka your life.  Michelle Goodloe, self-care blogger and author of the guided self-care journal, Self Explore, Self Restore stopped by the virtual studio to impart some wisdom on how to take care of you both in and out of "crisis season". Michelle is a licensed social worker with experiences in  providing clinical services, technical assistance and training on interpersonal trauma, domestic violence and child abuse.  She is all too familiar with, and understands how difficult it can be to practice self-care on a regular basis. Thus her reason for creating the GMichelle Self Care Platform".  And in this episode she's handing out all kinds of self-care goodies as she reminds us that self-care isn't selfish.  She sheds light on how you can get consumed with guilt because you don't feel like you deserve to take care of you, why you feel guilty about and how you can put those feelings in check with a few simple, but fun activities.Some of the things we covered in this episode were: What is trauma? Implementing a regular and daily self-care practice Creating a self-care "to go" strategy How self-care is directly connected to self-awareness Recognizing deficits in nutrition to contribute to increased stress levels and trauma...and so much more.Michelle also answered a listener's question during this episode.  Here's the question, but you have to tune in to hear her response...I'm a single mother who works full time. Although, my kids are not a job, most of the time it feels like I have 2 full time jobs and I'm being worked overtime. At this point I'm feeling run down and I'm failing to take care of myself due to time and financial restraints. It's hard for me to feel strong and be at my best when I feel so worn out mentally and physically. But I know if I'm not okay then my kids are not okay so I need to take care of me. How do I find time for "me time" that'll fit in tight budget? Signed, OverworkedThe strategies/activities she provided in response to this question are oh so good.  She made it super clear that you can still take care of you even when it's challenging to take a break from being a mom.Taking care of you is the MOST important thing you can do for yourself and your family. You want to leave a legacy that your family can be proud of, and that startswith you taking care of you FIRST....because as cliche as it sounds, you can't take care of others if you don't take care of you.   As you can see, this episode is filled with so much goodness. So be sure to check it out. And be sure to connect with Michelle Goodloe on Instagram at @thegmichelle and on her website at gmichelle.com.   And  while you're on her website, take a few minutes to take the Discover Your Needs: Self Care Quiz  and check out this really cool article:  3 Ways to Create Your Self-Care Plan.And.....When you're finished soaking up all this wisdom and knowledge,  we'd love to hear from you.  So, hop on over to  Shades of Strong and leave us a voice message and let know what you thought about this episode or send us an email at hi@shadesofstrong.com.Head on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet.   If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps!SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEWIf you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW!  And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HEREfor a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify
We are a little over the midway mark of Season two so we thought now might be good time to highlight some of our most listened to episodes. In other words, LET'S DO IT AGAIN. Enjoy this compilation of clips featuring some of your and our favorite episodes, and if you missed any of them, go back and check out the full episode.  And even if you didn't miss any, check them out again and share them with a friend.Episodes highlighted:Episode 002: Behind the Mask of the Angry Black WomanEpisode 005: Trapped in a Bad RelationshipEpisode 006: Habits That Keep Black Women StuckEpisode 009: I'm My Child's Friend, but I'm Still in ControlEpisode 011: Sisterhood! They Smile in Your FaceEpisode 012: Don't Tell Me How to Heal My Pain PeriodEpisode 013: Finding Yourself and Standing in Your TruthEpisode 014: Where is God When Life Happens And when you're finished, we'd love to hear from you.  So, hop on over to  Shades of Strong and  share your story with us via voice message or send us an email at hi@shadesofstrong.com.ORHead on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet.   If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps! SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HEREfor a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
How do you deal with LIFE when life happens? Here's an even better question  OR the one more frequently asked... Where is God when life happens?  How many times have you questioned this very thing when when life turns your world upside down?  I can't even count the number of times  I've questioned why God allowed this horrible thing to happen to me. For as long as I can remember, my life has been one traumatic event after another. Seriously, there have been so many days when I’ve been like, “Really God? You doing that?” ...and I’ve shed more tears than I care to remember. As a matter of fact, that is the story of my life and I'm sharing a little of it in this week's episode. Tune in NOW as I share my story of hope, healing and forgiveness, and how I eventually came to terms with WHY God allowed so many horrible things to happen in my life. And when you're finished, we'd love to hear from you.  So, hop on over to  Shades of Strong and  share your story with us via voice message or send us an email at hi@shadesofstrong.com.ORHead on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet.   If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps! SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HEREfor a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
There's so much freedom in finding yourself, owning your voice and standing in your truth. Tune in as Shades of Strong co-host, Natty shares her story of healing from an emotionally unhealthy,interracial marriage and how she developed a contingency plan to help her deal with trauma in a healthy and productive way. And when you're finished, we'd love to hear from you.  So, hop on over to  Shades of Strong and  share your story with us via voice message. ORHead on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet.   If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps! SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HEREfor a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
I've been seeing this meme floating around  on social media saying, "stop telling people how to heal from stuff you've never been through".... Well, here's a suggestion for ya...Stop telling people how to heal their [emotional] pain PERIOD! ヅRecently, while standing in the middle of the aisle at Walgreens looking for Dove’s pear and aloe vera soap, I heard the words,   “Girl, stop crying and get out of bed. Your life could be a lot worse. He’ll be back when he realizes what he lost….”  I was a little taken aback by the conversation for two reasons… One…. because here’s this lady is on the phone in a public place [loudly] having a conversation that most certainly should have been kept private.And two because……. Oh my gosh!  Why is she telling her that when she’s obviously hurting -- like in serious emotional pain?But, being the mind your business girl that I am, I shook it off, grabbed my soap and went on my merry little way.  In all honesty, the lady probably meant no harm and she clearly thought she was helping her friend; but the reality is when someone is going through a moment of despair the last thing she wants to hear is, “it could be worse.”    The fact that it could be worse does not lessen the pain she’s feeling in that moment, does it? Of course not! She may stop crying and she may even get out of bed, but it’s not because she realizes that it could be worse. It’s because she just realized that her friend doesn’t care about her pain – or at least that what’s she’s thinking because her friend (unknowingly) implied that her feelings are not valid.   So, she’s getting out of bed because now she’s got to prove to her friend that she’s bigger than this  pain she’s experiencing.Ladies!!! We gotta stop doing this to each other.  I talk to women everyday who are hurting, broken, struggling to recover from various traumas and tragedies – abuse, rape, rejection, death, break ups – pain that has left them feeling hopeless, worthless and un-loved. As a matter of fact, I used to be one of them. ...but they can’t get the healing they need because family, friends, society, religion have made them feel like they can’t feel what they’re feeling.Join Natty and I at the virtual table as we shed some light on how harmful our words can be when we're not sensitive to the trauma of others. And when you're finished, we'd love to hear your thoughts on how you support your friends and family when life happens unexpectedly.  So, hop on over to  Shades of Strong and  share your story with us via voice message. ORHead on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet.   If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps! SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HEREfor a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
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