Getting Grounded

There are some people you can talk to for two minutes and immediately realize you could probably talk to them for five hours. Tory Sjovall is one of those people. She’s an astrologer, tarot reader, spiritual practitioner, mom of three, and a dear friend. And as usual, this conversation goes everywhere in the best way. We start with her third postpartum experience, which has been completely different from her first two, and get into the idea that every time we become a mother, we become a new version of ourselves. Tory talks about how much more grounded she feels this time around, what she sees differently with experience, and how her first postpartum experience left her in a much deeper depression and anxiety than she realized at the time. Then we get into the much harder part of her story: infertility, pregnancy loss, a six-month medical nightmare, chemical pregnancies, and eventually the birth of her third baby. She shares the spiritual perspective she has on loss and spirit babies, what helped her get through it, and the very simple things that actually made a difference when she was in the middle of it all. And then, because obviously we couldn't have Tory on without going deep into astrology, we talk about how she actually uses astrology in her own parenting- not as a way to predict or control her kids, but as another lens for understanding who they are and what they might need from us. We talk about parenting the child you actually have instead of the child you expected, why different kids can need completely different versions of you, and how understanding your own chart can change the way you show up as a mother. This conversation is spiritual, vulnerable, funny, and very real. And underneath all of it is this idea I keep coming back to: motherhood doesn't just give us children. It births a new version of us.  In this episode, we talk about: Why every birth can feel like a rebirth of the mother The difference between first, second and third-time motherhood Postpartum anxiety, depression and realizing you were deeper in it than you thought Infertility, miscarriage and the complicated grief that follows pregnancy loss Spirit babies, intuition and the spiritual side of pregnancy and loss What actually helped Tory heal How her husband showed up through the hardest parts Using astrology to better understand your children Parenting different children according to who they are, rather than who you are What motherhood can teach us about ourselves Tory is one of those people who can make you question something you thought you already understood, and I loved getting to have this conversation with her.   Vicky: HTMA Testing    For more Tory, to get a family reading, or learn more about her story, dive in below!  Instagram Book a Reading    For more Getting Grounded and your host Sam Blatz, follow along at: Soul Love with Sam on Substack @soullovewithsam on Instagram @GettingGroundedPodcast on YouTube Produced by Getting Grounded LLC  

This week I sat down with another amazing mom friend and heard her beautiful, challenging, and incredible journey through life since becoming a mother. There are very few people I can think of who have had quite as many different versions of life thrown at them in such a short amount of time. Kelsey is the founder of Get Wild Retreats, runs Be Wild Yoga Studio, is a mom, a co-parent, a soon-to-be stepmom, and a breast cancer survivor. Her son and her business were essentially born at the same time, and since then she’s built a life that looks very different from the one she probably imagined when she was 25. One of the things I love most about Kelsey is her perspective on all of it. You can make all the plans you want, but life is going to do what it's going to do. So instead of trying to control every outcome, she has learned to surrender, adapt, and keep going. We talk about what that looked like when she unexpectedly became pregnant while building her retreat business in Colorado, including running retreats while pregnant and then bringing her newborn along just weeks after giving birth. It sounds completely insane in retrospect, and Kelsey is the first to say she wouldn't necessarily recommend doing it that way, but at the time, it made sense for her. From there, we get into co-parenting and what it actually takes to make a split household work. Kelsey shares some really practical things that have helped her and her son's dad build a healthy co-parenting relationship, including therapy, communication, putting their own egos aside, and repeatedly coming back to one question: what is best for the child? We also talk about stepparenting, creating a family that doesn't necessarily look traditional, and the surprisingly beautiful realization that having more people love and support your child can be a gift rather than a loss. Then we get into the part of Kelsey's story that is much harder to talk about: being diagnosed with stage 3C breast cancer at just 27 years old, while parenting a young child. Her cancer journey happened alongside the transition into co-parenting, and she talks openly about treatment, being a mother while going through something so physically and emotionally demanding, and the fear that came with wondering whether she would be there to raise her son. We talk about the mindset that helped her get through treatment, the changes she made to her life, and the complicated reality of being considered cancer-free while still being in active treatment. We also talk about fertility and the uncertainty around whether she'll be able to have another child and how she's learning to want something while also practicing non-attachment to the outcome. This conversation covers a lot of ground, but the thread running through all of it is the same: life rarely goes according to plan. Sometimes it's beautiful. Sometimes it's incredibly hard. Usually it's both. And learning to meet it where it is might be one of the hardest and most freeing parts of becoming a parent. In this episode, we talk about: Kelsey's unexpected path into motherhood and building her retreat business Running yoga retreats while pregnant and bringing her newborn along at just six weeks old The reality of trying to build a career while becoming a mother Postpartum depression and how getting out into the world helped bring her back to herself Learning to ask for and accept help Co-parenting, split households, and the hardest part of being away from your child The practical things Kelsey and her son's dad do to make co-parenting work Uncoupling therapy and learning to put your child's needs ahead of your own emotions Navigating different rules and routines between two homes Building a healthy relationship with a stepparent Being diagnosed with stage 3C breast cancer at 27 Going through cancer treatment while parenting a young child The fear of not being there to raise your child How cancer changed Kelsey's perspective on control and what she can actually influence Fertility, the possibility of another child, and practicing non-attachment Why life can be incredibly hard and incredibly beautiful at the same time Burnout, social media, and why everyone seems to be carrying something right now Finding small ways to create more peace, joy, and space in everyday life Kelsey has spent a lot of her life figuring out how to make the unexpected work and this conversation is a really beautiful example of what that can look like. Not having everything figured out. Not pretending the hard parts aren't hard. Just continuing to adapt, ask for help, let go of some control, and make the most of the life that's actually in front of you. Join us!  For more Kelsey, follow along below! Retreats Instagram Yoga Studio in Charleston, SC   Best Guy on the Internet   For more Getting Grounded and your host Sam Blatz, follow along at: Soul Love with Sam on Substack @soullovewithsam on Instagram @GettingGroundedPodcast on YouTube Produced by Getting Grounded LLC  

Talking to your kids about sex is probably one of those things most of us know we’re going to have to do eventually…but have absolutely no idea how or when to start. In part II of my incredible conversation with Jennifer Wiessner, a licensed clinical social worker, certified sex therapist, and sex educator who specializes in helping parents raise sexually healthy kids, we cover allllll of that and more. How raising sexually healthy kids isn't really about talking to your kids about sex. At least not in the way most of us probably picture it. It starts much earlier and much more simply- with knowing the correct names for body parts, teaching kids that their bodies belong to them, modeling consent, answering questions without shame, and creating an environment where curiosity is normal. Jennifer talks about how much of the parenting advice we see around this topic is rooted in fear: How do I protect my child from this? How do I make sure this never happens? What do I need to teach them so they'll be safe? And while safety absolutely matters, she makes a really compelling case for starting somewhere else: confidence. We talk about what that actually looks like with toddlers and young kids, how to handle things like body curiosity and sexual play without shaming them, what to do when something happens at a playdate, and how to have conversations about consent that don't feel completely awkward. We also get into something I think is relevant to basically every parent: conditioning. The things we learned about bodies, relationships, sex, gender, and what is or isn't "appropriate" growing up don't just disappear when we become parents. Whether we realize it or not, we bring all of that with us. And yes, we talk about what happens when you inevitably mess something up. Because you can just...repair. Which is always a good reminder. Most importantly, this conversation made me think about how much of parenting is ultimately about creating a foundation. We're not going to be able to control everything our kids encounter as they get older. But we can give them the language, confidence, boundaries, and trust in us that make it more likely they'll come to us when they need us. In this episode, we talk about: Why you can start having conversations about healthy sexuality much earlier than you probably think Why using medically accurate language for body parts matters Moving away from fear-based parenting and toward confidence and body autonomy How to respond when young kids are curious about their bodies What is developmentally normal sexual behavior for young children and how parents can respond without creating shame Teaching consent in everyday life How to handle situations that come up at school, on playdates, or in other people's homes The importance of talking to other parents and caregivers about safety and boundaries How our own childhood conditioning can influence the way we parent Gender, relationships, and the messages our kids pick up from us Why modeling matters just as much as what we say What to do when you react in a way you wish you hadn't How to create a home where questions about bodies and sexuality aren't automatically met with shame How the conversations you have when your kids are little create the foundation for the conversations you'll have when they're teenagers Jennifer also offers virtual workshops and individual parent consultations for families who want more guidance around these conversations or have a specific situation they're trying to navigate. Because this isn't about having the perfect answer every time. It's about making sure our kids know that their bodies are theirs, their questions are welcome, and we are a safe place to come when they need us. 00:00:34 — Meet Jennifer Wiesner: How She Became a Sex Therapist 00:04:48 — Raising Sexually Healthy Kids: Moving Beyond Fear 00:11:31 — Consent & Safety: Why It Starts Early 00:18:58 — Teaching Kids About Their Bodies 00:25:52 — What’s Normal? Sexual Development, Playdates & Boundaries 00:34:24 — The Conditioning We Bring Into Parenting 00:41:21 — Consent, Relationships & What We Model 00:45:11 — Repair, Guilt & Giving Ourselves Grace 00:52:48 — Resources & Where to Find Jennifer 00:53:55 — Thanks for Listening!   Jennifer's Website Jennifer's Instagram  How to find or schedule a workshop  Private Parent Consultations https://www.kidpower.org/   For more Getting Grounded and your host Sam Blatz, follow along at: Soul Love with Sam on Substack @soullovewithsam on Instagram @GettingGroundedPodcast on YouTube Produced by Getting Grounded LLC

This week, we are joined by the INCREDIBLE Laura Scarpati and my dog Winston for some excellent points you'll be glad you tuned in for :)... What would change about how you live if you truly believed you could die tomorrow? For my new bestie, Laura Scarpati, host of The Woo Report, that isn't a hypothetical question. Five years ago, at 18 weeks pregnant, Laura was sitting on the grass when a car accidentally drove straight over her. In the moments that followed, she experienced something she describes as a near-death and out-of-body experience. She saw her own body from outside of it, believed she was dying, and somehow felt completely at peace. She survived. Her baby survived. But the person who came back was, in many ways, fundamentally different. In this deep and beautifully reflective conversation, Laura and I talk about what happened that day, the incredibly difficult recovery that followed, and the spiritual path the experience set her on. Laura went on to create a documentary about death and dying through her work with hospice, confronting one of the things so many of us spend our lives trying not to think about. And then, of course, we dive into motherhood. Because if your entire relationship with life and death changes, your relationship with parenting has to change too. Laura talks honestly about the mother she was before the accident. Stressed, controlling, anxious, and often caught up in how everyone around her was doing things. And then the mother she became afterward. Not perfect, not endlessly peaceful, but more aware of her ability to choose how she shows up. We talk about the conditioning we inherit as parents, the fear we unintentionally pass down to our children, and what it looks like to talk openly with kids about death rather than treating it like something they shouldn't know about. This conversation also goes beyond death. It's really about presence. About remembering that our time here is finite. About noticing the wind on your face. About choosing love when you could choose fear. About recognizing that we have more power over how we respond than we sometimes think. And about how one of the most terrifying experiences imaginable can, in unexpected ways, become an invitation to actually live. In this episode, we talk about: The accident that left Laura fighting for her life while 18 weeks pregnant Her near-death and out-of-body experience and the profound peace she felt in the moment The difficult physical and emotional recovery that followed How the experience completely changed her internal world and perspective on life Why Laura began exploring death and dying through documentary filmmaking and hospice work How losing people we love can change our relationship with death The difference between feeling sadness around death and carrying fear around it How Laura's experience changed the way she parents Moving from fear and control toward presence, perspective, and choice The conditioning we inherit from our families and society and the things we unconsciously pass on to our children How to talk to kids about death without making it something they need to fear Why children don't necessarily need us to hide our sadness; they need us to model that sadness doesn't have to mean fear The power of noticing when we're triggered and choosing a different response How our relationships can change when we remember that our time together is finite What it means to parent- and live from an intention of love Finding gratitude in the ordinary moments we might otherwise rush past Laura's story is extraordinary, but the questions it raises are surprisingly everyday: What are we afraid of? What are we teaching our children to be afraid of? And if we knew our time was limited, would we show up differently today? Maybe that's the real gift hidden inside a story like Laura's- not that we need to experience something life-altering to change the way we live, but that we don't have to wait for one. Because we already know this life is finite. The question is what we do with that knowledge.   For more Laura, because who doesn't want that- tune into her show, The Woo Report, or follow along @TheWooReport on Instagram!    For more Getting Grounded and your host Sam Blatz, follow along at: Soul Love with Sam on Substack @soullovewithsam on Instagram @GettingGroundedPodcast on YouTube Produced by Getting Grounded LLC

What happens when your job is literally understanding how kids develop… and then you have a baby of your own? In part II of this conversation, I’m joined by one of my best friends, Dana Pagliuco, a speech-language pathologist and mom, for a conversation about the very specific experience of knowing a lot about child development and realizing that knowledge can be both incredibly helpful and completely anxiety-inducing once you become a parent. Dana has spent the last decade working with children on speech, language, feeding, and development, so she came into motherhood with a pretty serious professional toolbox. And then breastfeeding humbled her. Feeding humbled her. Milestones humbled her. Basically, motherhood reminded her that knowing what should happen doesn't mean you get to control what actually happens. We talk about the pressure to get feeding "right," why baby-led weaning isn't the only way, what responsive feeding actually looks like, and why so many parents carry an unnecessary amount of guilt when their child isn't hitting a milestone exactly when they expected. We also get into speech and language development, when a delay is something to watch versus something worth evaluating, and how to create a language-rich environment without turning your entire day into a developmental therapy session. And underneath all of it is a bigger question: How do we balance our intuition as parents with the expertise of our providers without becoming either completely dismissive or completely consumed by information? Because sometimes you need the expert. Sometimes you need to trust your gut. And sometimes you just need someone to remind you that your kid is not a checklist. In this episode, we talk about: What Dana's professional knowledge actually helped with and where it completely failed to prepare her for motherhood The breastfeeding struggles that humbled her despite having professional experience with feeding Why knowing too much can sometimes make parenting anxiety worse The pressure parents feel around developmental milestones and why comparison can be so unhelpful When to trust your pediatrician's "wait and see" approach and when it's worth pushing for an evaluation Why an evaluation doesn't necessarily mean something is wrong Speech and language development, including receptive language and the importance of paying attention to the bigger picture Simple ways to support language development at home through narration, repetition, and everyday conversation Why "core words" can be more useful than simply teaching kids a bunch of nouns The truth about baby-led weaning vs. traditional purees and why you don't have to choose the "perfect" method What responsive feeding actually means and why following your child's cues matters more than following a feeding trend Why feeding struggles can feel so much more emotionally loaded for parents The guilt we carry when we assume our child's challenges must somehow be our fault How becoming a mother made Dana a more empathetic- and ultimately better therapist Most of all, this episode is a reminder that you don't have to know everything to be a good mom. And sometimes having the right professional in your corner isn't about being told that you're doing something wrong. It's about having someone help you figure out what's actually worth worrying about. Dana's professional knowledge was incredibly valuable to the people around her, but motherhood gave her something her education couldn't: perspective.   For more Getting Grounded and your host Sam Blatz, follow along at: Soul Love with Sam on Substack @soullovewithsam on Instagram @GettingGroundedPodcast on YouTube Produced by Getting Grounded LLC