Getting Out From Under

I think this episode was the hardest one for me to produce, yet. I cried while thinking about it. I cried while writing it. I cried while recording it, and I cried when I listened to it. But it's an important chapter, or several chapters of my story. The betrayals I mention in this episode really highlight where and why the damage was irreparable. I'm not proud of my actions, and I'm certain I will be judged harshly for what I felt I had to do, but this is my truth.Trigger warnings for financial and emotional abuse, divorce, mentions of suicide, and abortionIf you feel my podcast can help someone you know and care about, please follow, share, leave comments and rate this podcast as raising visibility helps others find it.To follow the progress on my cafe and lodge project, please also follow me on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/brendalyseIf you would like to share your story of getting out from under on this platform, please use this link so that I can get in touch with you. I am the only person who will see any of the responses you share on the form. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSd8wNg2F63pOWd0LUlwdoAaxGOsoVaTL3n8xI9SY3hSVlDPKw/viewform?usp=publish-editor

I've spoken a lot about my ex-husband declaring bankruptcy in previous episodes, and I realized that a lot of listeners probably have a lot of questions about that, especially those listeners who are not in Japan, so I thought I would put out an episode focused solely on bankruptcy in Japan, and how it affected my life. This episode is based solely on my experience and what my ex-husband told me. Any time I speak about what a lawyer told me, I am only relating my own personal experience. None of it is meant to be taken as legal advice. For more specific and accurate information please speak with a professional lawyer or financial advisor. You can find "An introduction to court procedures for insolvency in Japan" at this link (https://www.nishimura.com/en/knowledge/publications/20110408-39201) provided by the Nishimrura and Asahi law firm, who claim to be Japan's largest legal firm. Please note, I have never consulted with this law firm, and I have no affiliation with them in any manner. https://www.nishimura.com/en/knowledge/publications/20110408-39201Please feel free to reach out to me with any comments or feedback at [email protected]

In this episode, I talk about how my husband was able to maintain control over me by keeping me in a constant state of fear. I talk about the various people constantly threatening to get the police involved, which would mean further traumatization of my children and myself, and how those threats paralyzed me. This was a difficult episode to record as it condenses 10+ years of traumatic events into 30 minutes, so I can imagine it will also be a difficult episode to listen to. I admit, it's not my best editing work, but I'm giving myself grace because of the difficulty of the content, so I hope you'll do the same.There is also a brief introduction of the projects I am working on today to build a future for myself and my kids. **Trigger warning for discussion of financial abuse, psychological abuse and intimidation, and mentions of suicide.Please feel free to leave comments here or send them to me at [email protected]. I'm always happy to hear from listeners and help if I can.

In this episode, I share the turning point that reshaped my marriage and my sense of safety. What began as yet another financial deception escalated into a late-night confrontation in Tokyo—an event that revealed the depth of my husband’s lies and the extent of the trouble he had pulled our family into.From that moment, fear became a constant presence in my life. Instead of feeling supported by my partner, I found myself focused on avoiding the next crisis, questioning every decision, and doing whatever I could to keep my family afloat. This experience didn’t just fracture my trust—it changed who I was and how I moved through the world, and it became a key reason I stayed far longer than I should have.If you’ve ever wondered why someone remains in an abusive relationship, this episode offers a firsthand look at how fear, confusion, and misplaced responsibility can trap even the strongest person in place.If this episode resonated with you, please consider sharing it with someone who might need to hear it. You can leave a comment, rate the podcast, or reach out directly at [email protected]. Your support helps others feel less alone — and it helps this podcast reach those who need it most.Trigger warning: This episode includes discussion of psychological and financial abuse.#narcissisticabusesurvivor#financialabuseinmarriage#emotionalmanipulation#coercivecontrol#whyvictimsdontleave#survivinganabusiverelationship#divorceandabuse#lifeinJapan#traumaresponseandfear#gaslightinginrelationships#psychologicalabusestories#podcastaboutabuserecovery#survivingpartnersuicide#toxicrelationships#stayingforthekids

In this episode, I tell the story of the very first time I felt truly betrayed by my husband and the circumstances of our life at the time that prevented me from leaving. Please feel free to leave me comments here or send me an email at [email protected].